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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  April 24, 2014 8:00pm-9:01pm PDT

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barrett: from hollywood, it's... tonight, jimmy's on the set of "scandal" with creator shonda rhimes, plus special appearances by... and now, here's jimmy kimmel! hello, gladiators. i'm jimmy kimmel. and tonight, i will take you "behind the scandalabra."
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i'm here at olivia pope & associates. this is where people go to get things fixed. you could even get your dog fixed here. tonight, presumably, you watched the big finale of "scandal," season three. here's where we left off. fitz has been re-elected. olivia's on a trip to sandals resort with jake. and as far as i can tell, the first lady is still hammered. tonight, i'll take you behind the scenes of "scandal," and i'll probably steal something from the set. we're gonna dissect tonight's finale in excruciating detail. we've got a "scandal" blooper reel, and we've got every episode of the spanish-language "scandal" spin-off show, "escándalo," and it is muy caliente. and if that isn't enough, a "scandal" insider has agreed to reveal never-before-told secrets about the show's cast. it will be, in a word, scandalous. but first, to guide us through it all, the woman whose brain gave birth to olivia, fitz, huck, cyrus beene,
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and a secret spy agency that makes the nsa look like a girl scout troop, shonda rhimes. hello, shonda. hello. [ smooches ] welcome. thank you. i tip my white hat to you. [ chuckles ] well, welcome to o.p.a. do you mind if we have a seat? that sounds good. i have some questions for you. oh, no. now, shonda, i hate to do this, but i want to ensure that i get the answers i need from you. [ whirring ] [ shonda laughs ] okay? this is your fault. i'll behave. that will be right there. this show finale had -- i don't know -- it was like three finales condensed into one. there was so much going on, and you do that regularly. you give us like seven seasons' worth of show in one season. do you do that on purpose? yeah, i-i always want to make the show something that you feel like you can't do other stuff while it's on. so you can't fold your laundry and watch the show or you yell at your husband and watch the show or talk on the phone and watch it. i want you to feel like you have to just watch it, or you're gonna miss something. so you're trying to keep couples from fighting. i think that's very noble.
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i'm -- i'm doing the best i can. what are the other ways you help people follow all the craziness that's going on is you remind them who the characters are and what they do for a living. for instance, there's no question whatsoever that this man is the president of the united states. i am the president of the united states of america. i am the president of the united states. i'm the president. i am the president. i am not the president. you are the president. he's the president. yes. this man is the president. he wouldn't be the president if i hadn't made him the president. you're not the president! he's the leader of the free world. the leader of the free world. you're talking to the leader of the free world. you are the leader of the free world. you are the leader of the free world. i'm the leader of the free world. i'm the leader of the free world. i do not sleep in! so, obviously he's still the president. yes. but olivia quit her job, which -- i mean, she can't have quit her job -- right? -- unless we're gonna watch her on the beach somewhere. she did quit her job. you might watch her on the beach somewhere. we'll have to see next season.
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wouldn't that be something if the show just transforms into "lost"? there's that last look when, you know, after she hangs -- chooses to ignore the phone call from the white house, when she sort of says she's sure to jake, and then she looks out the window. and you can really see that she's not so sure. so there's possibilities. now, jake, for a spy master, he's -- he's a little bit of a doormat, isn't he? he is fairly strong. and he has very pretty eyes. [ chuckles ] and we like him, so, yes. what plot point caused the most disagreement amongst you? we fight a lot. i mean, there's a lot of yelling and fighting in the writers' room -- a lot of people with strong feelings. but i think the one that caused the most drama was when we tried to figure out what we were gonna do in the -- you know, we had a mid-season finale. and fans saw that jake had been chosen by the president to run b613. there was also a pitch that jake was chosen by the president to be his vice presidential candidate. and half the room wanted him to be the vice presidential candidate, and half the room
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wanted him to be the head of b613. and we fought about it right up until the last minute, so much so that we shot both ways. so we had both ways on camera and -- and filmed. and i had to watch them and go, "vice president feels stupid. b613 feels good." but it was literally a battle right up until the finish. wow. and in a situation like that, where you go -- is it majority rules, or everyone has to convince you? i'm pretty -- i'm the tiebreaker. i mean, i sort of -- it's -- it's my show. i get to decide. but, really, it's about the best idea. i'm pretty open to -- if someone can convince me that their idea is better, then i will go with it. right. i don't care where a good idea comes from, as long as i get them. after you shot it, did everyone agree that that was the best way to go, or were some people still hanging on? i think some people were hanging on, but the majority of us pretty much all decided, yeah, it makes a lot more sense this way. is there any idea that is -- that is too far-fetched? i mean, do people come in with, like, alien-abduction ideas and you go, "no, that's ridiculous"? we would not do alien abductions. there -- i mean, there are some times we get crazy pitches.
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but, generally, what's interesting is the stuff that we find to be the craziest, and then we sort of decide, like, "let's find a way to lead into it," always turns out to be true. when we were -- you know, in the news, when we were talking about the thorngate idea, that there was a program that could look at anyone's computer and anyone's phone, i was like, "that just sounds crazy. no one's gonna believe that." and then, two months later, there's a program that lets you look at anyone's computer and anyone's phone. and so the stuff that you think is really crazy -- i think it's just -- it's happening. quinn and -- and huck on the hood of the car. if you want it, say it. say it! yes. have you been reading dirty novels? what's going on with you? how -- where does that come from? i don't know. it was -- it was pitched in the writers' room. and we really felt like quinn and huck were not the kind of people who were gonna, like, go out to dinner and then maybe fall into bed behind, like, on a bed of roses with curtains and candles. it just didn't feel like them. so we wanted quinn and huck's first time
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to feel like quinn and huck. it was beautiful. [ laughs ] pool of blood. it was romantic for them. yeah. [ laughs ] it was -- it was almost like vampires, really. i mean... they're -- they're -- you know, she just disposed of a body. and then there was the -- they had sex right here in this office, right about here, which -- you know, we cleaned the table. [ breathing heavily ] we thought you weren't gonna be in till later. well, you thought wrong. did you clean the table after they... i hope to god someone cleaned the table. [ laughs ] but it's possible that no one did clean the table. no, i've just touched it, so i'm stressed out. [ laughs ] this is the table on which they "hucked." [ laughs ] yes, that is true. this corner of the table could be in the smithsonian one day, next to fonzie's jacket. [ chuckles ] well, when we come back, we're gonna see episode número uno of "escándalo," and we'll talk more with shonda rhimes when "behind the scandalabra" returns. harrison is dead, right? [ dramatic music plays ]
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[ dramatic music plays ] [ laughter ] [ sighs ] [ breathing sharply ] both: escándalo. [ breathing deeply ] [ blow dart gun fires ] [ groans ] [ gasps ]
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[ gulping ] iah! [ chuckles ] [ blow dart gun fires ] [ grunting ] [ squeaks ] [ dramatic music plays ] [ grunts ] [ screams ] [ glass shatters ] [ grunts ] [ clicks ] [ woman vocalizing ]
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[ applause ] announcer: solamente en... [ cheers and applause ] welcome back to our "scandal" finale special, "behind the scandalabra." episode dos of "escándalo" is still ahead. i'm here with the woman who makes this all happen, shonda rhimes. we're in the conference room of pope & associates. yes. this is where the magic happens. okay. now, harrison is dead, right? [ chuckles ] you know i can't tell you whether or not he is. i noticed outside, though, they painted over his parking spot. is -- should we take that as a hint? no comment. no comment. if you're very close to an actor, are you less inclined to kill them off? i think it's always really hard to kill off somebody who's been on the show for a long time and who you've gotten to know. there -- you know, you're obviously closer to some than others, but it's hard. if they're annoying, though, is it easier? that call is always the worst call to make.
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you call them? that's -- you do it yourself? i do it myself. mm-hmm. and you really have to sort of have the topic sentence ready. you have to call and say -- the first thing you have to say, "i'm sorry you're going to die, and here's how and why, and love you," and this. you can't call and then sort of back into it 'cause that's a little bit cruel. they can sense something terrible coming. so it's just like you put it out right away, and then you let them absorb while you talk. and then they can scream at you or be really lovely or whatever it is that's gonna happen. does that happen? do they get upset sometimes? some people get upset. i mean, people love their jobs. and for me, it's never easy to say goodbye to a character. it's really always about the story. right. so when we do something story-related like that, it always feels terrible to say, "and now you get to lose your job." in a way, you're like the grim reaper at that point. i feel like the grim reaper sometimes. yeah. it's an interesting dynamic because you're not firing someone. it's part of the deal when you're an actor. yeah. yeah. all the actors sort of know that that's a possibility, and it's -- it's just not fun to do. does the threat of death keep the actors in line?
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i think it keeps josh malina in line. i don't -- is josh malina staying in line? he's very in line with me. he's lovely. he does so many crazy pranks on our set -- insane, insane pranks that -- i don't know if everybody else thinks he's in line, but he hasn't pranked me, and i am very grateful for that. [ chuckles ] well, he's no dummy -- that's for sure. absolutely. well, when we come back, another nail-biting episode of "escándalo," featuring tony goldwyn and josh malina, plus more with shonda rhimes -- secrets, bloopers, and the cast of "scandal" when "behind the scandalabra" returns. [ camera shutter clicks ] vet the president's possible pick for v.p. find out all there is to know. who is it? i don't remember his name. [ laugher ] [ coughs ] you have three questions. coffee or espresso? oh, coffee please. ♪
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[ blow dart gun fires ] [ grunting ] [ squeaks ] [ dramatic music plays ] [ screams ] [ glass shatters ] escándalo. [ monitor beeping ] [ groaning ] [ mumbling ] oh, no. [ cheers and applause ]
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[ slurping ] [ slurps softly ] [ gasps ] inooooooo! [ grunting ] [ speaks spanish ] [ dialing ]
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[ grunting ] [ choking ] [ gunshot ] escándalo. [ static hisses ] [ woman vocalizing ] announcer: solamente en... [ cheers and applause ] hey, guys, it's jimmy here with shonda rhimes, the creator of "scandal," for a special look
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"behind the scandalabra." we're here in olivia's office. this is olivia's stapler. this is -- these are olivia's paper clips she has been hooking together, it looks like. i want to ask you about this poster of the president, which is obviously based on shepard fairey's poster of president obama. there's an interesting story behind this, right? yeah, it's the first presidential run poster that they -- we used for sort of the idea of the first election. uh-huh. and it sits in olivia's office, usually against a wall here or there. and we sometimes move it around. and then, when her feelings for the president sort of go south, we remove it so it is not in the office, and she doesn't have to see it all the time. you can monitor how their relationship is going based on whether or not this poster is visible in the office. i think that's true. well, i've been very fortunate to have pretty much all of the cast on my show. and thank you for forcing them to do that. they love being on the show. i thought a good time to look back tonight. we collected some of our favorite moments from my interviews interviews with the "scandal" cast.
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we wrapped it up in a neat little package. join me now and hold my hand as we take a trip down "scandal" memory lane. ♪ oh, do a little dance please say hello to kerry washington... tony goldwyn... bellamy young... columbus short... katie lowes... guillermo díaz... scott foley... darby stanchfield... jeff perry... joshua malina. i am perhaps the greatest disney princess of all time -- olivia pope. from "scandal," yes. from "scandal," yes. congratulations. you're either pregnant, or you shoplifted a basketball. [ laughs ] i'm gonna tell you something -- when you come here dressed like that, like you rode over on a motorcycle, it makes me feel like a nerd. oh, really? yeah. i don't know if you heard, but guillermo is smitten. he's -- he came up. hi, guillermo. he ran up to my dressing room to tell me that, "i love this woman." best dude ever. oh, he -- [ laughter ] exclusivo. barrett: guillermo's interview with "scandal's" katie lowes gets explosive!!! [ slap echoes ] [ slap thundering ] ka-boom!!! does your family watch the show? are they involved in it? yeah, they do. they do. and my daughters, particularly,
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you know, really are -- really are into it. how old are your daughters? um, 18 and 23. oh, okay. and so they -- they -- they really dig it and send me snarky texts whenever there's romantic scenes between me and kerry washington. well, what kind of texts do they send you? just things like, "ew," and, "gross," and, "really?" well, it's better than... and, "excuse me?" ...them sending you a text that says, "good sex, dad." [ laughter ] yeah. you know? we have the best fans on the planet. [ cheers and applause ] they call themselves -- we call ourselves "gladiators." you're a fan of your own show? i am a fan of all the other actors on my show. gladiators, right? yeah. 'cause you're gladiators in suits. we are. my dad actually takes all my, like, magazines that i've been in and newspaper clippings and stuff, and he gets them all laminated. is he reading them in the rain? why? why? [ laughter ] he just -- he'll bring them to, like, the doctor's office when he goes to there or the supermarket and just kind of take them out and be like... [ laughs ] [ speaking spanish ] i went to college at yale and tried to do physics, failed at that, but finished with english and theater.
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you realized, at some point, that you were too attractive for physics and... [ laughter and applause ] by the way, imagine being in the group of physicists and you walk in. i don't think -- and then you walk out. [ laughter ] your wife, i know, is the casting director on the show, which i think is interesting because when your wife was thinking, "oh, we have a part," where your character is gay, and she thinks, "my husband would be great for that." [ laughter ] this is your first big job, right -- on "scandal"? yes. 18 month ago-ish i had every horrible job in the book -- waitress, babysitter, nanny. one time, i waited on brad pitt. he ordered a martini with extra olives. and i waited for him to finish. and he had a couple olives left, and i quickly bussed his martini glass back into the kitchen. and then the half of the olive that he had already eaten -- i ate the other half. [ cheers and applause ] and i've done my fair share of commercials. there's one particular commercial that you might remember -- herbal essences shampoo had this series of orgasms.
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oh, yeah. yes. you remember those. oh! yes! oh! tropical fruit! oh! [ laughter ] the show, obviously, is hugely, hugely popular. you are not the most popular character on the show, though. wow. well, people not only dislike my character, but they -- they seem to dislike me for playing the character. great. terrific. it's -- the twitter is -- is -- it's -- the twitter's an amazing thing, really. it's a great way to get insulted by a thousand people at once. it really is. fans of "scandal" are... nuts! they're nuts. ...exceptionally crazy, aren't they? they're nuts. yeah. a woman with pink slippers on, snoopy pajamas, a halter top, and curlers in her hair, comes from the back, like i don't see her. i'm like, "is this lady..." and she's like, "oh, my god! oh, my god!" [ laughter and applause ] "do y'all know who this is? do y'all know who this is?
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you don't even know who you're sitting with!" there you go! [ cheers and applause ] how do you stop? how do you stop it? we're spending a lot of time together lately. if there's anything going on between anybody, it's you and i. oh, really? is that right? wow. well, that's good news. [ cheers and applause ] scandal. ♪ get down tonight i really am wonderful. [ shonda chuckles ] when we return, "escándalo" episode 3, starring guillermo díaz and my guillermo -- that's dos guillermos -- plus, shonda brought a blooper reel to show us, which was a very nice thing to do. it is very funny. and then things will get serious, as some of the darkest secrets from the set will be revealed -- all that and more when we come back. we are "behind the scandalabra." maybe you're not crazy. but if we're gonna really nail these people, people with -- oh, my god. i can't believe this. what's that? [ laughter ] ohh! ...a commercial for womenwelry preonly.... this is levian chocolate diamond jewelry.
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[ cheers and applause ] announcer: ...is sponsored by... [ breathing heavily ] [ grunting ] [ screams ] [ glass shatters ] inooooooo! [ gunshot ] escándalo.
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[ suspenseful music plays ] [ bell dings ] [ bell dings twice ] [ dramatic music plays ]
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[ beeping ] [ keys clacking ] [ keys clacking ] [ sighs ] [ dramatic music plays ] [ woman vocalizing ] [ beeping ] [ keys clacking ]
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[ beeping continues ] [ beep ] [ suspenseful music plays ] [ music continues ] [ electricity crackles ] [ gasps ] [ slow music plays ] escándalo.
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sí, escándalo. escándalo. [ woman vocalizing ] solamente en... [ cheers and applause ] welcome back to "behind the scandalabra." i'm jimmy here with creator of "scandal," shonda rhimes. we are inside olivia pope's apartment. hey, you guys, you can't -- no, you can't be in here without these. oh. yeah. thank you. this is the... oh, perfect, yeah. it's the -- it's the pinot and popcorn palace. here. take this. that is -- oh, these seem a little much, but thank you, scott foley. i -- you know what? i knew you would come back. how was your trip?
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it was -- it was -- it was good. the flight was good? it was fine. it was a little long. mm-hmm. but it was all right. yeah, just -- that's good right there. yeah, we're almost done. thank you. got little bit more. hold on. okay, one for shonda, too? shonda? oh, yeah, sure. here you go. drip wine on the couch here. shonda, i, um, i found it hard to believe this but i-i hear that, sometimes, your actors don't do things perfectly. that is true. what do you call it when -- when they screw up? we call it a blooper. ain't that a wonderful word? and do you ever assemble these bloopers into any kind of a montage or reel? in fact, we do. you do? [ chuckling ] well, why don't we look at that now? take 3. mark... [ speaking gibberish ] "b" only. [ kool & the gang's "get down on it" plays ] ah! ha! ♪ you wanna get down? ♪ tell me ♪ get down on it ♪ get down on it ♪ get down on it
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i don't care where he is, lauren. ♪ get down on it you find cyrus and get his ass in the oval now! ♪ get down on it ♪ get down on it oh [bleep] sorry. that was a wimpy close. ♪ get down on it huck, see if you can use his digital footprint to tie him to his -- to his pin is -- pss-pss-pss -- man: to his penis? [ laughing ] no, to pin his... [ laughs ] tell anton that marcia wallace -- wait. is my name marcia? [ all speaking indistinctly ] [ laughter ] ♪ get down on it ♪ get down on it ♪ get down on it [ laughs ] ♪ get down on it ♪ while you dancin' ♪ get down on it ♪ get down on it ♪ get down on it he promised he'd be in the oval. he promised what? he promised he'd meet me in the oval. what did he promise? he promised me he'd be there. i've don't know what i'm saying to you. i'm gonna start again. okay, baby. he promised he would show up for me, and then -- he promised -- [bleep] [bleep] [bleep] fart in heaven. fart, fart, hell. fart [bleep] fart. fart. fart. holy fart. fart. fart. oh, fart. one more time. fart. [ laughs ] but polls do not pick the president. the citizens of this nation do.
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[ voice breaking ] and it is not over -- [ laughter ] easy for me to say. [ clears throat ] i need you to vet the president's possible pick for v.p. find out all there is to know. who is it? ♪ get down on it i don't remember his name. andrew nichols. thank you. [ laughter ] homeland security? they'll bury this whole thing under 8 tons of paperwork, and voldemort gets away scot-free again. [ chuckling ] seems to me you did pretty well by voldemort. [bleep] me. voldemort. this is ridiculous. you had the chance to kill me, and i'm still alive. [ laughs ] [ laughs ] i was trying so hard. i'm doing this for you. you're doing great. yeah, thanks. that doesn't mean it's okay. i don't know the line after that, though. i knew it. i knew it. mm-hmm. this is how scott works. let's take it from whatever line you know. just toss one out. it could be another episode. [ clears throat ] hunker in, people. [ laughter ] i'm back.
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huck, i came back. do you want me to say that i'm sorry? sorry for hurting you, sorry for making you talk? i'm not sorry. if it wasn't for olivia, i would have pulled out all of your teeth. if it wasn't for olivia, i would kill you right now, right here. liv saves us, and you betrayed her. you're not a gladiator anymore. [ laughter and applause ] that was probably my best take. sally: what should i do? i don't know what to do. should i call the police? i should call the police. cyrus: sally, listen to me. do not call the police. do not call anyone. i will be there soon as i can. [ sighs ] so maybe you're not crazy. but if we're gonna really nail these people, people with -- oh, my god. i can't believe this. what's that? [ laughter ] oh! ♪ ah, freak out ♪ le freak, c'est chic [ laughter ]
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♪ freak out those -- those -- those things? ♪ ah, freak out [ laughs ] [ scoffs ] there's your -- there's your problem right there. [ sighs ] again. if -- without knowing what -- [ stammers ] [ speaking gibberish ] prayer, privilege... bl-bl-bl-bl! sorry. [ laughs ] [ sniffles ] why? [ laughs ] i hate you both. sorry. so sorry. what's going on? what's with all the whispering? there's been so much blood.... ohh. ...this becomes your home. this becomes your family. and you can't imagine any other life. dude from "felicity" just killed the woman!
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[ chuckles ] to bloopers. to bloopers. [ glasses clang ] jimmy, take -- take me with you. save me. will you stand in the sun with me? you know, i'd like to, but i, uh, i freckle. well, i'm gonna be -- i'll wait here. okay. um, coming up, the thrilling conclusion to "escándalo," plus secrets about the "scandal" cast will be revealed by a mysterious stranger. we'll be right back with shonda rhimes. we go deeper "behind the scandalabra" after this. i'll go deeper with you. [ laughs ] all right, let's start at the top. kerry washington. [ distorted voice ] she's the devil. ♪
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announcer: ...is sponsored by... [ blow dart gun fires ] [ grunts ] [ screams ] [ glass shatters ] inooooooo! [ grunting ] [ slurps ] [ choking ] [ electricity crackling ] [ gasps ] escándalo.
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[ gasps ] iah! shh! [ cocks ] ♪ sex ♪ sex ♪ sex
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[ breathes sharply ] [ suspenseful music plays ] [ gulping ] [ growls ] [ screaming ] [ both scream ] [ screaming stops ] [ growls ]
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[ laughter ] [ gasps ] escándalo. [ cheers and applause ] solamente en... ah. ay, yi, yi. welcome back to "behind the scandalabra." i'm jimmy kimmel here with the mind behind "scandal," shonda rhimes. now, shonda, you and your team have done a phenomenal job of casting the show. you -- you say you love the cast. you say that you love everyone on it. give us some dirt. every last one of them is wonderful. there's no dirt. every one of them is wonderful? yes. well, i think you'll find this interesting because a member of your family has come forward with some information that i believe will be fascinating to our viewers. in fact, if you'll excuse me, my informant is waiting for me in huck's office. [ dramatic music plays ]
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thank you for being here. i know you've agreed to this interview on a condition of anonymity. [ distorted voice ] yeah, that is correct, jimmy. it's time the world knows the truth about how things go down around here. all right, let's start at the top. kerry washington. kerry. kerry is very high-maintenance. she once fired an assistant for wearing a more stylish coat than her. she fired the assistant -- kept the coat. well, that's hard to believe. she seems...down to earth. she's not. she's the devil. wow, who -- who else? oh, what about columbus short? columbus short -- interesting guy. he only eats baby food -- gerber sweet potato puree, banana jubilee. that's all he'll eat. and he asked shonda to call herself "mommy" when she feeds him. that's weird. the weirdest, jimmy. he made a boom-boom in my trailer. when i confronted him about it, he just cried.
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who else? darby stanchfield -- every year, she raises money for her daughter's jog-a-thon for her charter school, only her daughter doesn't go to a charter school, and she doesn't have a daughter. that's crazy. yeah, tell me about it. you know that whole target identity-theft thing? yeah, where they -- where they stole all the information? right. that was darby. unbelievable. mm-hmm. now, can't have anything on katie lowes. she strikes me as very sweet, very normal. well, she is sweet, but she does strange things. like what? well, like, she'll go around the set asking if anyone wants coffee. everyone -- actors, camera guys, assistants. she writes it down -- all the orders, very detailed, and then she'll just leave for the rest of the day. she never comes back. no coffee? nope, nothing. how about guillermo díaz? oh, you mean kevin -- kevin flanigan. kevin is from connecticut. we found him working in a blockbuster. really good actor, very believable as a latino.
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wait. he's not latino? hell, no. out only isn't he latino, he can't stand them. son of a bitch, huh? it's okay. it's okay. what about the president, tony goldwyn? tony goldwyn buys goldfish just to flush them down the toilet. he calls it his "golden whirlpool." i have to say, they all sound terrible. they are. anything else? anyone else? that's all i have right now. what about josh malina? josh malina -- he's the best. not only is he a great actor and guy -- excellent, excellent dancer. a lot of people don't know that. he's got a great move he does -- may i? yeah. he does this thing. i think he calls it "sex arms." it's kind of like... huh. wow. oops.
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♪ jugo de jicama, jugo de jicama ♪ ♪ the tasty drink from méxico ♪ jugo de jicama, jugo de jicama ♪ ♪ the official drink of "escándalo" ♪ ♪ jugo de jicama, jugo de jicama ♪ jica-mágico. ♪ jugo de jicama, jugo de jicama ♪ ♪ jugo de jicama, jugo de jicama ♪ ♪ it really makes me want to shout ♪ ♪ jugo de jicama, jugo de jicama ♪ ♪ fiesta in your mouth do not drink jugo de jicama. it will kill you. and that is a wrap for "behind the scandalabra." we've had a lot of fun today. we laughed. we cried. we got to touch things on the set. i want to thank joshua malina, katie lowes, scott foley. i want to apologize to matt damon, who's not even on "scandal," so i don't know why he would think he belongs here. he's so stupid, right, shonda? i love him. well, i disagree with you on that, but i tell you what -- i'll thank you, and i look forward to whatever craziness you have planned for us next season. shonda rhimes, thank you very much. buenas noches. [ speaking spanish ]
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[ sniffing ] lo siento. mmm. it's so good. it's not good.
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[ laughter ] meredith: over the past 20 years, one of the most valuable tools a doctor has is the algorithm. your patient's main complaint goes into a box... cristina was supposed to fly out with us this morning, and she didn't show. ...and then the formula helps you decide what to do next. [ sighs ] her phone's still off. no, uh, derek, all -- all she said was, "that's how it goes." last night after the ceremony. and then that smug idiot's speech was a 20-minute ode to himself. ma'am, we're shutting the doors. she'll just be one second. [ ding ] his research wasn't even research. i read his paper on lymph nodes. it sounded plagiarized. i'm very sorry, but you'll need to put your phone away. i heard you. uh, i'll call you when we land. but what happens when the problem doesn't fit into a box? [ cellphone beeps ] all right, mama hung up on us. zola, time to put on your shoes, sweetie. well... [ knock on door ]

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