route now on jimmy kimmle, happy griffin. >> enjoy. good night. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- kathy griffin. from "veep," tony hale. and music from franz ferdinand. with cleto and the cletones. and now, just in the nick of time, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. hi, everybody. i'm jimmy.

welcome to the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming out to visit. thank you for standing out in the sun to get in here. it was hot today, right? it was 92 degrees in hollywood today. 20 degrees hotter than normal. which i think is god's way of telling us we should all get really dark tans just to freak out donald sterling. [ cheers and applause ] let's do it! i actually wore shorts in to work today. not just regular shorts. short shorts with my cheeks poking out. i always say, when you've got it, make people vomit. [ laughter ] . it is hot, though. thank god summer's almost over, huh? [ laughter ] we really need queen elsa to get in a fight with her sister or something. of course, when temperatures are high it is hardest here on the superheroes on hollywood boulevard. if you've ever been to hollywood, you've probably seen a menagerie of costumed characters roaming the street. i feel especially bad for them during the heat waves. the one i feel worst for of all is spongebob squarepants.

[ laughter ] who basically is -- [ applause ] spongebob on a day like this is basically the meat in a foam rubber sandwich. has it been a rough day, spongebob? >> yeah. it's been, too. >> jimmy: guillermo is out there with spongebob. i was curious how hot it is inside your suit. i would look to have guillermo put a thermometer in there to find out. all right? okay. >> okay. >> jimmy: wait, guillermo. don't go in -- never mind. pull down your squarepants and get this over with. we call this edutainment. that is a thermometer? >> guillermo: yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: what's the temperature? >> 146 degrees. >> jimmy: technically you're being proepd be being poached in there. are people at least giving you extra tips today, spongebob? >> not that much. >> jimmy: guillermo, tell people to give spongebob more money, all right. >> guillermo: give him more

money, you son of a bitch. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's dying out there. meanwhile, wonder woman is running around in a bathing suit. [ applause ] thank you, spongebob. the important thing is he loves what he does. that's really what it is. you know this heat couldn't have come at a worse time. we're still suffering through a severe drought here in southern california which puts us at risk for wildfires. there was one this morning in rancho cucamonga. local ktla reporter courtney friel was sent out to cover it and she discovered the area residents are frightened and concerned. >> ash and smoke blowing everywhere. and just asked the residents to stay inside. >> do you live around here? >> yeah. wow, you're super pretty. do you want to go on a date sometime? >> we're live on the air with ktla right now. are you evacuating? >> yes. >> do you live sneer. >> i live down the street. >> what do you think of it? >> it's pretty cool. >> jimmy: that's why they call him the cucamonga casanova.

other big story is the clippers. the clippers beat the golden state warriors last night in round one of the playoffs. they now lead the series three games to two. i know you cheer, but the funny thing is if they win the nba title 2k07b8d sterling will probably get another $100 million for the team. so something to think about. [ laughter ] nba commissioner adam silver has ordered donald sterling to sell the clippers in wake of his comments. you probably heard the rumor today, that a group of investors led by me and oprah are planning to bite team. [ laughter ] i can't give you've any real details on that. i want to say no offer has been made. still in the very early stages. a lot of discussion right now. so any information you see in the media is speculation and nothing more. i would look to say that i think oprah and i would be great team owners. how does the idea of a halftime book club hit you? [ cheers and applause ] fun, right? there are a number of other lesser names that have been mentioned as potential buyers for the clippers including david geffen, oscar de la hoya, magic

johnson, and welterweight boxing champion floyd mayweather, jr. because that one is interesting because if floyd mayweather wants tone the team and donald sterling doesn't want to sell it i say let them box for it. [ applause ] put those two in the ring. that would be a moneymaker. meanwhile, we're learning more about the woman at the center or this scandal, a woman named v. stiviano. she's donald sterling's friend, the win one on the tape with hi. but her lawyer said she was not in a relationship with him and had nothing to do with releasing the tape. he said, stiviano is devastated the tape got out and very saddened by donald sterling's lifetime ban from the nba. now we know what the v. stands for. very saddened. you can see how saddened she is. the media showed up at her apartment where -- look at this. she decided to do some roller skating there in the alley. while everyone looked on. that's how i handle sadness, too. i roller skate. she's getting a lot of use out

of that visor, too. looks like something tron would wear to a rave. but this its good too. instead of yelling at the camera guys outside her house -- this is real. we didn't doctor this in any way. she offered them refreshments. >> would you like some water? i have coconut water, aloe vera water, regular water, sparkling water, oranges, tangerines. >> thank you. you are such a sweetheart. i'll take a pellegrino. >> jimmy: she's got a team. i'm suspicious of this woman for a lot of reasons. number one, who has four kinds of water and three varieties of oranges in their house? no wonder we're having a drought. she's got all our water. [ applause ] the other wrinkle to this story is it turns out v. stiviano might have political aspirations. >> after dinner she said this. >> i want to become president of the united states of america. and pass legislation and laws

that would -- the civil rights movement. >> jimmy: now take me to your leader. [ applause ] there you go. look out, hillary. you've got some competition. finally, a president who is not afraid to look directly into a solar eclipse. the internet was abuzz yesterday when lucas films and j.j. abrams used a well-placed photograph to reveal the cast of star wars episode 7. this is the photograph. there are a number of newer actors starring in this one. alongside harrison ford, carrie fisher, and mark hamel, who will be reprising the role of luke skywalker. although he's a lot older now. they're saying he's going to be more of a luke mallwalker. [ laughter ] [ applause ] oh, hey, welcome back. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's hot out there, huh? >> yeah. >> jimmy: where did you put that thermometer, by the way? >> inside of him. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh.

yesterday apple computers introduced their least expensive macbook. they're now offering an 11-inch macbook air with 128 gigabytes of storage for $899. the 11 inch is $899. there's a 13-inch that's $999. it's an additional 50 bucks if you want pepperoni on them. it's an affordable product for sure but in typical apple fashion today one day after releasing the new macbook air they revealed another new product that's even more affordable. >> introducing apple's most affordable mac book to date. it's sleek, it's portable, it works fine. it already has your photos and music. it's the macbook you already own. >> oh, sweet. >> starting at no dollars. apple. you're good for now. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: here's a story that caught my eye. this happened up in ottawa.

a man up there has been exposing himself in public. can you expose yourself in private? i don't think you can. technically no. this behavior was a surprise to the people who know him. maybe it shouldn't have been. >> police have charged an ottawa man with indecent exposure after several flashing incidents at moony's bay for the past two weeks. police say 62-year-old donald popadick is charged with an indecent act and mischief. >> jimmy: a rough week for donalds. [ applause ] donald popadick. by the way, popadick is also the least popular game at chuck e. cheese. [ laughter ] we're going to take a break. when we come back this afternoon i paid a visit to my friends at legends barber shop here in l.a. to ask them what they think about the donald sterling situation. they had a lot of thoughts. plus kathy griffin is here. tony hale is here. we have music from franz ferdinand. [ cheers and applause ]

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back.

kathy griffin, tony hale and franz ferdinand are backstage. right now doing god knows what to each other. the donald sterling l.a. clipper scandal has been a very big story this week, especially here in l.a. a lot of people have opinions on this. but most of the people you hear from are professional broadcasters and writers. i like to find out what the real people think. and who better to weigh in on clippers than the guys at legends barber shop here in los angeles? ♪ >> hey! >> hey. >> hey, what's up? how are you? how are you doing? hey, guys, what's going on? how have you guys been? >> good. >> jimmy: i wanted to ask you guys were you surprised by donald sterling and what he said on that tape? >> no, man. >> not really. >> i feel like he smells racist. like you can clearly look at him, he smells racist. >> he smells like mitchum deodorant.

>> he sweats -- >> i don't think so. i think everybody was genuinely shocked. i don't think anybody kind of like put him in that basket. >> jimmy: i wasn't shocked by it. >> i mean, you're privy to those kinds of things. >> i am a a big part of the white community. >> of course. >> jimmy: at the meetings this is the sort of thing we discuss. >> no, there have been a bunch of lawsuits filed against him. >> of course. >> jimmy: many allegations of racism have been made against him. >> yeah, now, he said it, if he didn't hold the door for you in the men's room you're like, ah, that was racist. >> jimmy: let's talk about the girlfriend. we assume she's the girlfriend, right? v. stiviano. >> what does that v. stand for? >> she's the devil. just be careful. that's all i'm saying. >> is this the first time a woman on the side, another woman, has mess the up a man's career? come on, man.

>> a lot of guys get mixed up with having a side chick. they mess up completely by giving away too much information. to the side chick. there's a reason she's a side chick. >> jimmy: can i tell you something? i never heard the term side chick before. >> oh, side chick. >> side chick. >> just imagine if you went to wendy's and got a five piece nugget and got the extra sixth nugget you didn't expect. on the side. >> jimmy: the side chick comes back to destroy your life. would you guys allow your girlfriends to pose for instagram pictures with white people? >> i would, absolutely. i would. >> jimmy: i wouldn't allow it. what percentage of white people do you think talk like that in private? >> a lot. >> jimmy: give me a number. >> 60%. >> i'd go higher. >> 92%. >> i think it's like 91. >> jimmy: really? >> he's from youngstown, ohio.

he got it rough coming up. >> i'm from youngstown. >> i don't think any of you guys think like that. i still plan on making money with you guys. i think that was a very random singular instance -- >> jimmy: an isolated incident. >> an isolated incident. i mean, rehab. that's all you need. a little rehab. >> what kind of rehab -- >> jimmy: you can go to racism rehab. i think mel gibson went to it. >> in his defense, in his defense, i spoke to several call girls and they said that he's amazing. he's never said anything racist ever in front of them. i'm just saying. >> jimmy: all right. do you think the penalties the nba handed down are sufficient? >> no. >> he should have gotten banned for like a super mario life. he gets like one hop and then he's banned for that whole life. like you ban him for his whole life.

>> that's like five more years. >> someplace's in jail longer for crossing the street on the wrong color. >> jimmy: there's two white guys on the team. i wonder what it is like in that locker room where you're the two white guys and you have to be just as upset as everybody else. >> it's like this is wrong. >> what's the kid's name with the red hair? >> oh. blake griffin. >> he's the most upset. he's only half. >> do you think donald sterling owes him half an apology? >> no. i think he owes the rest of the players the other half of their check, though. >> jimmy: if donald sterling came in and asked for a haircut, would you cut his hair? >> i would. i would start from right here. he would have to leave his head here. >> jimmy: if donald sterling came in here and he said guys, i've been thinking about it, i'm going to give this $2.5 million

fine to you. would you forgive him? >> i would accept it. >> jimmy: you would accept it. >> i would take it under protest. >> a lot nicer now. >> jimmy: do you find that? >> i find that -- >> it changed the tone. >> jimmy: interesting. have you really found that or are you joking? >> no, he's serious. >> jimmy: so it's like christmas time around here now. >> it's so good. i ate for free today. i had two free shots of patron yesterday. >> jimmy: you know, what guys? actually, in the spirit of that, this time, this visit, i'm actually going to pay for my haircut. >> oh, thank you, man. >> mike, mike, no. mike! mike! >> jimmy: well, thank you, guys. i have to say, it was illuminating. and i think i learned some -- yeah, i learned what a side chick is. it's kind of exciting. on behalf of white people, i am very, very sorry. i didn't have anything to do with it.

but i'm still sorry. you're still trying to recover from me paying? >> this has never happened before. thank you, donald sterling. this has never happened before. >> jimmy: but i am going to keep the cape. so thanks, guys. all right. good to see you. take care. [ applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's the kind of outreach we're going to do. tonight on the show from "veep," tony hale is here. we have music from franz ferdinand. and we'll be right back with kathy griffin. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by at&t. doubletree by hilton. visit us at doubletree.com to learn more about how you can join the cookie care movement. that's why i got my surface. it's great for watching game film and drawing up plays. it's got onenote, so i can stay on top of my to-do list, which has been absolutely absurd since the big game. with skype, it's just really easy to stay in touch with the kids i work with.

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the program, you know him as gary walsh and buster bluth from the very funny show "veep," tony hale is here. and then with music from their first album in five years, it's called "right thoughts, right words, right action." franz ferdinand from the at&t outdoor stage. tomorrow night from "grey's anatomy," sandra oh will be here. we'll enjoy chemical hijinks from our friend science bob pfludgfelder, and boy george will be here too. he missed me. chrpsz chrpz [ cheers and applause ] i know he missed me. our first guest tonight is an emmy and grammy-winning comedian whose hobbies include not watching sports and texting nude things to anderson cooper. you can see her live at the mirage in las vegas may 23rd. please welcome kathy griffin. [ cheers and applause ]

♪ >> tonight i hold the record for the most appearances as a guest on "jimmy kimmel live." [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. >> and i also am in the guinness book of world records for the most televised stand-up comedy specials. >> jimmy: oh. okay. >> but i think it's more significant they've actually been a guest on this show more than any celebrity -- >> jimmy: i don't want to ruin it for you -- >> because you love me and i love you. what we have is real. i just love this man for having me on. >> jimmy: do you know how many times you have been on? >> 34 times. >> jimmy: 32. it's actually 32.

>> 32. >> jimmy: which makes you second to adam carolla, who's been on 44 times. but that's really good, though. >> wait a minute. i was told i have a world record for the most "jimmy kimmel" appearances. >> jimmy: who told you that? >> i don't know. your team. >> jimmy: my team is wrong. >> adam carolla beat me? >> jimmy: yeah. but it's not over yet. if you want to go -- >> i'm in the guinness book. you don't even have a book. you should have a book and a british guy comes and gives you a plaque. >> jimmy: we don't have a british guy. we have a mexican guy. >> ooh, i love a mexican guy. thank you, guillermo. >> jimmy: i'm sorry about that. i didn't mean to -- >> that's very hurtful. the only thing that could keep me warm at night is the freezing cold love from my -- >> jimmy: are you looking for the thing behind your -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: hey look, it's kathy's ass, everyone. >> my grammy for best comedy album.

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i don't have one of those. >> you can't touch it. don't touch it. because there is some grammy rule where unless you won one you can't even touch it. >> jimmy: no way. >> yeah. don't get me fired -- first, i don't believe a thing you tell mu because you told me i won the wld record and -- >> jimmy: is that a joke about the -- >> no. unless you have won a grammy you can't touch one. >> jimmy: how about when they present the graham -- >> it has to be a grammy winner. >> jimmy: those dopey women -- >> nothing has changed about you. nothing has changed. >> jimmy: the spokesmodels holding the trophies. >> they're not a spokesmodel -- oh! >> jimmy: i touched it. and i defy the grammys to sue me for it. >> why don't you give it to adam carolla? all right, look. >> jimmy: you always wanted a grammy. you visualized it. >> i feel awards are more important than people.

anyone can have a family. i'd like awards. so when i won after being nominated six years in a row, i was not gracious or graceful. i was a fool. and i lost it in front of some celebrities that i don't really know but something came over my body where i thought -- i thought i knew madonna. >> jimmy: oh. where was this? where did this -- >> this is at the grammys. okay. so i have just won. and i'm drunk with excitement. and then i see madonna coming down the red carpet. she rolls deep. she's got the bodyguards. she had like a cane that was bedazzl bedazzled. she had a suit on and a top hat. it was super fly. she has one of her kids with her. and i can hear the gay gasps. you know, as she's coming. the -- aah! like that. i clutch my imaginary pearls. and you know, being a gay man, it's my job. i love it. i clock in, i do my job as a gay man. i worship madonna. you get it. so i thought, oh, my gosh, i'm a grammy winner. it's about time i met fellow grammy winner madonna.

then i realized that i don't know her. so as she walked past me one of the bodyguards, i swear to god, he looked at me like, don't even think about it. don't even -- back away. and i had it planned in my head. you plan these speeches. and i thought i'm just going to say like hlt, madonna, you look beautiful tonight. i just won a grammy, and i look forward to your performance. was what i, you know, planned to say. >> jimmy: what did you actually say? >> i'm just going to be honest because i don't feel like this is a place where i should lie or sugarcoat things. >> jimmy: agreed. >> okay. so madonna walks past. first of all, she smiled. and she was wearing a grill like flava flav. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> that was delicious. and that's in my act already. but i still wanted to be gracious and what happened was madonna walked past and my inner gay boy took over and i stood there like a fool in a roberto cavalli gown being a grammy winner just going like this -- "fierce! diva, fierce!

fierceness! fierce!" >> jimmy: you did not say fierce. >> yes. yes. >> jimmy: you clapped. >> yes, i clapped. and i don't know her. i clapped and i yelled fierce, diva, fierceness, fierce. #fierce. >> jimmy: what did she say? >> she ignored me. that's a crazy person. of course. and then it got worse. because i felt compelled to tell like powerful women that i had won this grammy as a woman. best comedy album. first time since 1986 a woman has won. >> jimmy: wow. >> so i started just bum-rushing people like poor pink. i see pink. and she looked beautiful. and i like knocked her off her shoes. i go, pink, i won. she's like take this creature off me. then she goes, oh, hi, kathy. and i ran up to katy perry who was in like a dior gown with like sparklies. i got tangled in her skirt. i was like i won, i won. i almost knocked over a lot of very powerful celebrities. and i got tangled in jared leto's hair. a lot happened. it's a big night. >> jimmy: it must have been a big night.

that's a very, very big deal for you. >> i know. look, i still have goals. >> jimmy: what are yours? what's left? >> everything is shaking up in late night. i think i should go on after "nightline." people get bored with the news. >> jimmy: i would love that if you went on. >> i would love to do modern day tom snyder. rob tom snyder did a show smoking a cigarette where he'd rant and be bitter? >> jimmy: do you smoke? >> no. but i could start. [ laughter ] but i will tell you i met someone and i realized this guy, he can't of figured it all out. >> jimmy: who's that? >> his name is maury povich. >> jimmy: in what way has maury povich figured it out? >> in a way you haven't. so -- [ laughter ] i don't know what your little salary is or your little pocket change that you consider to be a living. but let me tell you, maury povich is richer than god. he's richer than your new besty oprah. >> jimmy: no, he's not. he's not richer than oprah. >> i can't even --

>> jimmy: how do you know maury povich is rich? what do you know about him? >> i know everything about him. he's loaded. i got to know him. i think people should have dreams. that's what the country is about. i'm like a living dream catcher. not just my vagina, the whole body. whole body. [ applause ] >> jimmy: hold on. i want to take a break here. >> because i teased you. because you can't believe i'm rolling deep with mo-po. >> jimmy: i want to find out what happened. i can't imagine him being on your list of people, by the way. >> he's so on my list. >> jimmy: how can he be on your list? >> because you're on the wrong list. i've been trying to tell you for 15 years. jir >> jimmy: i want to go through the list. >> you and tom cruise, uma thurman. i got the list. >> jimmy: kathy griffin is here. we'll be right back. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. here's a little secret, voice control is the future.

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're back with kathy griffin, who was -- when we -- >> you were just telling me that you admire me for what we're about to discuss. >> jimmy: i do. i do admire you. >> but i do it for the love of the game. there were no cameras there. i just did it. >> jimmy: you went to see maury povich tape the show. >> correct.

but let's go deeper. i want a relationship with mopo, because he's living the dream. he does -- you know, he tapes the shows. and i watch maury in bed with my boyfriend. and you know, we've discussed the age difference. so let's just talk about it. i'm 53. he's 35. [ cheers and applause ] see? unlike you, i am a poor role model. all right. so, anyway. he got me back into maury. as i got back into it, there's something about the end of the show where they say if you find yourself in the stamford, connecticut area and want tickets. and i thought, i'm never in the stamford, connecticut area. i've got to make this happen. so i e-mailed him because of my fame. [ laughter ] and -- they all want to meet me. they all want to sit down. >> jimmy: sure. >> and in fact we met in person at the capital grill. >> jimmy: oh, you had a meal with maury. >> i had a sit-down like with

don corleone. >> jimmy: wow. >> we haddiscussed his businessd you know, his life with connie and the jet. it is one of those conversations where you realize you are just doing it all wrong. >> jimmy: the jet? he has a jet? asking who is pregnant? >> i'm iyanla, you are oprah. you are not getting it. i am iyanla trying to fix your life. >> jimmy: he has a paternity jet literally. does it have a name? >> air maury. [ laughter ] so he does the shows, and the audience loves him. and i wanted to infiltrate. and i knew once again, the awards, the global fame, the bikini modeling, i can't just walk in there. >> jimmy: problematic. >> sometimes it's really more of a curse. so i realized i had to infiltrate the maury audience in costume, in a disguise, if you will. i will say at dinner, maury was a little freaked out during a nice normal conversation i had a

plastic bag with the coffee wig from the coffee collection, and i had some makeup and a "you are not the father" t-shirt. >> jimmy: you brought this to lunch? >> look, i get it. i come on a little strong at first. you know what i mean. but i always have a plan. i was determined to not only attend the maury show but to be in the front row. i felt like i was the section leader. because you know when it comes time to give some thumbs down. it's like the guest comes out and you see like their swag isn't clean. you know, they come out. right? you know what i'm talking about. or if you feel like somebody isn't going to pass the lie detector. you've got to lead your section like boo. yeah. kiss her feet. kiss her feet. there you go. they're my people. they get it. they get it. so anyway, maury was a little frightened. not going to lie. but he played along. and it's one of my proudest moments. >> jimmy: and you were actually sitting in the audience in disguise at the maury povich show. >> yeah. i watched one taping from the back, and i said screw this. i've got to be in the game, baby. put me in. coach, take me off the bench.

so i went between tapings, put on the disguise, sat in the front row. i admit i looked freaky. i'm not going to say looked gorgeous and harmless. i looked like a psycho. >> jimmy: you brought a piece of videotape. >> of course. it's the work i'm most proud of. >> jimmy: tell us which one is you. [ applause ] >> all right. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: kathy griffin, you can see her may 23rd at the mirage hotel in las vegas. and on her website all her dates are there. kathygriffin.com. when does the maury show air? >> i don't know when it's going to air, but i hope the numbers are through the roof. >> jimmy: i'm sure they will be.

kathy griffin, everybody. we'll be right back with tony hale. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by doubletree by hilton. visit us at doubletree.com to learn more about how you can join the cookie care movement. and now you get hit again. this time by joint pain. it's a double whammy. it could psoriatic arthritis a chronic inflammatory disease that attacks your joints on the inside and your skin on the outside. if you've been hit by... find out more about psoriatic arthritis. take the symptom quiz at doublewhammy.com and talk to your doctor.

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>> jimmy: still to come on the show music from franz ferdinand. our next guest is an emmy-winning actor who's got more talent in his hook than most people have in their entire bodies. you can watch his very funny show "veep" at 10:30 sunday nights on hbo. please welcome tony hale. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ how are you? >> very well. >> jimmy: don't think you are in the running for most times on the show. it's your second time. >> second time. i'm almost there.

>> jimmy: it was a while ago. >> yeah. it was during "arrested development." >> jimmy: when "arrested development" was on. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah. 2005. >> jimmy: who else was here that night? do you remember? >> al sharpton. yes. we go together. >> jimmy: quite a team. how are you doing? everything all right? >> i'm doing very, very well. >> jimmy: where are you from? >> i'm from tallahassee, florida. >> jimmy: do you go back? >> i do. i actually just went back about a month ago, and they were very kind. they threw this -- because i was thankful to get the emmy for "veep," which was crazy. and they threw me like a really congratulations -- >> jimmy: who did? >> the secretary of state and they had the capitol and it was very funsy. because it was -- i grew up in the theater called young actors theater in tallahassee, florida. they made a huge difference in my life. i talked how arts really make a difference in kids' lives and kids need that environment. they were kind to throw me this party. gave me a medal.

made me ambassador of the arts. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] i know. and i mean, i've never gotten a medal. >> jimmy: have you ever had an ambassadorship before? >> no, no. i mean, i got patches in boy scouts but that was -- >> jimmy: does that give you diplomatic immunity or anything. you can commit crimes in florida? >> totally. >> jimmy: and that was your first medal. >> that was my first medal. wasn't that nice? >> jimmy: congratulations. you got an emmy before a medal. it was just so -- i love florida. i love going back and just, that was very, very -- >> jimmy: are there ambassadors of the arts from florida? like jimmy buffett or maybe a two live crew or anything like that? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: anyone you can commiserate with? >> i will google that. >> jimmy: "veep," by the way, is a really great show. [ applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: you really do a great job on the show. one of the things i like on the show is the inresults on the show are so -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: like the wordplay and --

>> they have like a vault of them. the show is written by all british folks. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah. all brits. it's their view of american politics. >> jimmy: wow. >> for me i think i've got to probably get five or six cuss words i use in rotation a lot. they have just got a vast list. they called -- there's a character on the show named joba who's kind of a jerk on the show. >> jimmy: yeah. real jerk. >> they called him human scaffolding was one of them. the largest single-cell organism. and then somebody called him the washington monument if it was made entirely of dead penises. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's the british for you. >> that is a skill. that's a skill. >> jimmy: it's a very specialized skill, yeah. "arrested development" fans continually bring the show up to you? >> yeah, they do.

they're so nice. i mean, people who love "arrested development" really love "arrested development." >> jimmy: yeah, for sure. >> when i was in florida i was speaking to florida state university just to their students. you know, i remember this one time, this happens sometimes where people will come up to me and say do you remember the scene where buster, you know, did this? and the seal and this thing happened. and i'm like i don't have any idea what you're talking about. so please fill me in. it's great. i love when people come up and give me the details that i forgot. it's just like, yeah, your mom's name was lucille. a loose seal bit off your hand. i'm like that's hilarious. i forgot about that. >> jimmy: it must be so confusing to them afterwards. >> when you shoot you forget. it was a long time ago. so it's fun to have people remind me of -- >> jimmy: buster was a dimwit on the show. >> that's a nice way of -- >> jimmy: very gentle. >> your character on "veep" is very gentle as well. very smart. >> very kind.

>> jimmy: there's i understand a film you're doing. something that is -- i don't know if you've done a role like this before. >> no. i just kind of, people see me as kind of meek. i play meek and emasculated very well. [ laughter ] i just kind of wanted to branch out and show people some other stuff i've got. so i did a little piece. >> jimmy: this is a movie coming out soon? >> soon. very soon. >> jimmy: we are the world premiere? >> exclusive. >> jimmy: okay. take a look. brand new movie project from tony hale. >> announcer: when a city plummets into chaos. when the strong prey upon the weak. when hope vanishes. and our darkest fears come to life. one man will rise. >> time to die, ninjas. >> jimmy: tony hale is slade

seksdik in "slade seksdik die-time." it's tony hale as you've never seen him before. >> aaah! i'm a man! >> slade seksdik die-time." >> i'm bad-ass man! >> and cut. >> i am so sorry. oh, my god. i'm so sorry. those outfits must be so hot. >> thank you so much. >> can i actually grab one of those nuts? i thought your work was really fantastic. >> don't talk to me. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i like it a lot. it was good. i can see that as a franchise for you.

>> yeah. >> jimmy: very good to see you, ambassador. congratulations on the show. it is called "veep." you can watch it sunday nights. tony hale, everybody. we'll be right back with franz ferdinand. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world.

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>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. >> jimmy: our thanks to kathy griffin, tony hale. i apologize to matt damon.

we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next. but first this is their new album called "right thoughts, right words, right action." here with the song "bullet," franz ferdinand! ♪ ♪ while i'm away you can let the mouse go down on you let the mouse do what i'd do ♪ ♪ if i was there but you'd better explain that i have vendetta in my narrow bones ♪ ♪ and a vindictive eye of my jealousy i have no control no control ♪

♪ i'll never get your bullet out of my head now baby i'll never get your bullet out of my mind ♪ ♪ i'll never get your bullet out of my head now baby i'll never get your bullet out of my mind ♪ ♪ i can not get your bullet out of my head now i have no control ♪ so i'd better explain that i have a red vendetta in my narrow bones ♪ ♪ a wicked indicative eye of my

yellow jealousy i have no control no control no control ♪ ♪ i'll never get your bullet out of my head now baby i'll never get your bullet out of my mind ♪ ♪ i'll never get your bullet out of my head now baby i'll never get your bullet out of my mind ♪ ♪ get out of my head get out of my head now ah ah ♪ ♪ get out of my head get out of my head now ah ah ♪ ♪ get out of my head get out of my head now get out of my mind ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you.

this is "nightline." >> tonight, sticky-fingered pickpockets across america are banding together to target unsuspecting victims. they rob while you shop. >> did you take my -- >> yes. >> tonight we're going inside a hidden world where your personal belongings are there for the taking. but not if this guy has his way. plus, family feud. >> there have in the past been women in your husband's life. how did you feel about that? >> barbara walters sits down with the woman who knows donald sterling best, his wife. what she has to say about sterling's alleged mistress and how she's planning her comeback. and jay-z under attack. beyonce's sister solange caught on tape in a bitter brawl