actress julia roberts. >> have a good night. >> >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- sally field. julia roberts. and music from future islands. with cleto and the cletones. and now, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. my name is jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for coming to our studios here in hollywood.

happy cinco de mayo to each of you. guillermo, happy cinco de mayo to each of you as well. >> thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: have you been celebrating tonight? >> just a little bit. >> jimmy: just a little bit. and what would that entail exactly, celebrating? >> just one shot. >> jimmy: one shot. [ laughter ] but he gets it with a hypodermic needle. [ laughter ] i bet i could get drunk just from sniffing your mustache tonight. [ laughter ] you know, a lot of americans think cinco de mayo is mexican independence day. it isn't. cinco de mayo commemorates mexico's unlikely victory over the french army in 1862, which not to rain on anyone's fiesta, but how unlikely is a victory over the french army? [ laughter ] i mean, it seems pretty likely to me. and while cinco de mayo, it's kind of a big deal here in the united states, in mexico it's not. what would be like the american equivalent to cinco de mayo in mexico?

would it be like flag day or something? >> yeah. flag day. >> jimmy: thank you. [ laughter ] that is what's great about this country. we will celebrate the beauty of any culture as long as it allows you to drink in the day. [ cheers and applause ] to celebrate cinco de mayo tonight we have quite a guest line-up. two great actors -- julia roberts and sally field are here. [ cheers and applause ] sally field is in "the amazing spider-man 2," which i saw that movie on thursday night. i'm a nerd. so i saw it in 3-d. and i'll tell you something, i made an incredible discovery. do you know if you grab two pairs of 3-d glasses out of the bin and you wear them on top of each other, 9-d. [ laughter ] [ applause ] some people think it would be 6-d, but no, it multiplies. it was incredible. the only problem the ticket to see the movie in 9-d, $180. [ laughter ] since julia roberts and sally field are here together we

thought it would be fun to pit them against each other. so tonight julia and sally will compete in the first ever "celebrity curse-off." it's kind of like -- [ cheers and applause ] a spelling bee. but instead of spelling words they will go back and forth saying as many curse words as they can think of. stick around for that later tonight. i want to mention one personal thing. i'm worried about my mother, who -- my mother packed a lunch for my nephew carson today. my mother's -- in general she's very good at lunch. she makes a sandwich. there's always a piece of fruit in the lunch. there's a note telling you how much she loves you, which is there so your friends can grab it and read it aloud to the whole cafeteria. and a snack of some kind. maybe a few oreos, maybe fig newtons. or in my nephew's case you would get this. a package of cat treats. temptations treats. this is what she sent my nephew to school with. [ laughter ] i could kind of see why she was confused.

it looks -- put it back up. it looks like a human-type snack. you see it helps control tartar, which snacks usually don't do. it says "treats for cats." and there's a cat eating a chicken on there. [ laughter ] so either my mother doesn't take the time to look at what she's putting in the lunchbox or she thinks her grandson is a cat. [ laughter ] either way, we have a problem. on mother's day i'm going to take her out for a fancy feast this year. [ laughter ] [ applause ] thank you. the controversy surrounding clippers owner donald sterling, somehow this story's getting stranger. sterling's friend, an unusual woman who goes by the name v. stiviano, seems to be enjoying the spotlight. you see, she's singing and dancing outside a sushi restaurant in west hollywood. and then when she got home she showed paparazzi her turtle.

she got a new turtle. and showed it off to everyone. she named it after one of the teenage mutant ninja turtles, which was adorable. anyway, local ktla news reporter caroline costello was outside v. stiviano's home. and that by the way is when you wonder why you majored in journalism, when you're camped outside v. stiviano's home. [ laughter ] i guess she was trying to get answers. instead she got compliments. >> pardon me. >> did you know donald sterling was diagnosed with prostate cancer? >> i love that. where are they from? >> banana republic. >> i like banana republic. they make nice things. >> thank you. why are you wearing a shield? >> why are you holding a microphone? >> that's my job. >> well, then it's my job. >> jimmy: okay. she's been wearing that multicolored like welder's visor most everywhere she goes. is it possible that this whole controversy, this whole thing from the beginning was set up so that donald sterling and v. stiviano could make a lot of money selling visors? [ laughter ] [ applause ] but i want to say something serious. on friday night the visor came off when v. sat down for an interview with barbara walters. now, you'd think that at this

point donald sterling would want nothing to do with this woman, but that does not seem to be the case. in fact, according to her, they're still working together. >> do you want to tell me what your relationship with donald sterling is? >> i'm mr. sterling's right-hand arm. man. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is she trying to tell us she's a man? [ laughter ] here's more from v. stiviano. >> i'm mr. sterling's everything. i'm his confidant, his best friend, his silly rabbit. >> his what? >> his silly rabbit. >> his silly rabbit? >> yes. >> is that what he calls you? >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so you call yourself a silly rabbit? she claims there's no sexual relationship. she says she's a silly rabbit, but she doesn't do tricks, i guess.

[ laughter ] [ applause ] she also says she didn't release the tape, her friend did. there's always a friend who does this stuff. but he gave her two bentleys, a range rover, a ferrari, a $1.8 million house, and a quarter of a million dollars in cash. so maybe he's just a really good guy. [ laughter ] is that not possible? he's just generous to his silly rabbit. that's all. [ laughter ] the 140th annual kentucky derby ran this weekend at churchill downs. once again a horse won it. just once they should throw an emu in there. an emu. i'm sorry. i didn't mean to throw a depressed teenager in there. [ laughter ] [ applause ]

this year the horse that won was named california chrome, which sounds like a smartphone nobody wants to buy. but the jockey who won, who rode california chrome is victor espinosa. you know what these jockeys get for winning the derby? they don't get -- the official golden trophy goes to the owner of the horse. the jockey gets a small silver replica of the trophy and a $100 gift card to baby gap. [ laughter ] you know, the kentucky derby, it only lasts two minutes. so there's a lot of prerace chat. before the race nbc had each of the jockeys say his name and the name of his horse, which is funny because these guys have thick accents and the horse names are ridiculous. but one jockey in particular grabbed my attention. see if you can spot him. >> jimmy: someone loosen that turtleneck stat. [ laughter ] people are very interested in food nowadays. people don't even cook, watch cooking shows, and everyone has an opinion on what you should and should not be putting into your body. lately i don't know if it's just

here in l.a., but people are very anti-gluten. which bothers me because i'm very pro pizza and you can't be pro pizza and anti-gluten. now, some people can't eat gluten for medical reasons, which that i get. it annoys me, but i get it. but a lot of people here don't eat gluten because like someone in their yoga class told them not to. i keep asking people about this. i started to wonder how many of these people even know what gluten is. so we decided to find out. gluten, in case you didn't know -- and i didn't know this -- is a mixture of two proteins found in wheat and some other natural grains. but here in l.a. it's comparable to satanism. [ laughter ] so we sent a camera crew out to a popular exercise spot right up the street from us to ask people who are gluten-free a simple question. what is gluten? what is this thing you will not eat? we're going to meet a person who does not eat gluten and together we're going to guess if they know what gluten is. are you ready? [ cheers and applause ]

>> do you maintain a gluten-free diet? >> i do indeed. >> and that is gluten? >> jimmy: okay. does he know what gluten is? [ audience answers ] everyone says no. >> well, as far as for me how it affects my body -- >> but what is gluten? >> it's pretty sad because i don't know. [ applause ] >> jimmy: we're 0 for 1. but i hate it and i know. next. >> do you maintain a gluten-free diet? >> i do. >> what is gluten? >> jimmy: all right. does this shirtless gentleman know what -- yes. okay. >> gluten is in bread. it's a flour derivative of wheat, something like that. >> it's a flour derivative? >> it's like bread. like pastries. >> it's in those things. >> yeah, it's in those things. >> but what is it exactly? >> gluten is like -- it's like a grain, right? >> jimmy: i like when he coughed. like -- i'm sorry. i have some [ bleep ] in my throat. [ applause ]

excuse me. >> do you maintain a gluten-free diet? >> yeah. i try to to the best of my ability. yeah. >> what is gluten? >> jimmy: does she know what gluten is? [ audience answers ] oh. >> um, it's the wheat in products such as like bread or pastas. rice. >> why do you avoid it? >> it makes you fat. i mean, like i said, i don't -- i haven't researched it to the fullest. i have a girlfriend from russia. she actually just got me into it. so she's reading a book about it. >> jimmy: oh, okay. [ laughter ] russians know about -- gluten and putin. they know about both. [ applause ] we have one more. >> do you maintain a gluten-free diet? >> i do. i actually don't eat rye, wheat, dairy, nuts, or eggs. >> wow. what is gluten? >> jimmy: does he know?

does jewish jon hamm know what gluten is? [ laughter ] >> it is part i believe of the wheat that -- i really don't know. [ laughter ] it's in rye, wheat, oat, and bran. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i've got to go pick my kids up. leave me alone. maybe gluten doesn't exist. tonight on the show, julia roberts is here with us tonight. we have music from future islands on the show tonight. and we'll be right back with sally field. so stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ...you have to perform. you've got to build a crowd from nothing. find what gets them moving, and do it. my intel-powered tablet can respond immediately... so when i get my crowd...

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back. tonight on the show her new movie "the normal heart" premieres may 25th on hbo. julia roberts is here with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] and then their album is called "singles," future islands from the at&t stage. [ cheers and applause ] we have a show tomorrow. jon hamm will be here tomorrow. emma roberts will be here. we'll have music from kid ink

featuring travis barker. and later this week kobe bryant will be here. jon favreau, lake bell, and two nights of music with pharrell williams. so join us all this week. our first guest is a two-time oscar and three-time emmy winner whose roles include abraham lincoln's wife, forrest gump's mother and spiderman's aunt. earlier today she was honored with a star on the hollywood walk of fame and her movie "the amazing spider-man 2" is in theaters now. >> please just let me in. all right? >> i'm trying to -- just give me -- you can't come in. stay outside. i'm still naked. >> you said you're going to take my car in to the shop because -- are you all right? >> yeah. i'm okay. i'm just -- i'm very naked right now. >> what happened to your face? it's filthy. >> it is? >> yes. >> oh, yeah, yeah. i was cleaning the chimney. >> we have no chimney. >> what? >> jimmy: please welcome sally field.

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ happy cinco de mayo. >> oh, thank you so much. >> jimmy: i don't know if you remember this, but you did a tequila shot with guillermo on the red carpet at the a.f.i. awards. >> did i? >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] so you and he have a sisterhood kind of. >> i do. i have -- oh, there he is. >> how are you? [ laughter ] >> his tequila was really, really weak. >> jimmy: it was weak? oh, guillermo, maybe you should remedy that situation. >> yeah. i'll bring you one good one. >> jimmy: would you like one? >> you bring it right over. you are? okay. >> jimmy: well, we don't want to force anything on you.

[ cheers and applause ] we might as well bring julia out now. we might as well. you're going to have one, guillermo. >> okay. [ laughter ] all right. one for the lady. >> jimmy: please. enjoy. yes. happy cinco de mayo, everyone. >> thank you so much. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: viva mexico. [ cheers and applause ] that wasn't weak. that wasn't bad, was it? [ laughter ] i thought you might need a little celebration because -- oh -- >> that one wasn't as weak as the other. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: because you -- >> that was seriously good. julia's having those too. >> jimmy: well, if they're still there by the time she gets here. >> i feel it going down. >> jimmy: this is going to be good for our competition later on. >> yeah. and i want to win really bad. >> jimmy: but i think this is a great way to celebrate your star on the walk of fame, which -- [ cheers and applause ]

>> it's great. it's so great. you know, it's really great. >> jimmy: it sounds like you're lying. [ laughter ] >> you know, with the 3,000 other people that have stars. and it's really about the diversity of show business. >> jimmy: is it? >> well, you look on the stars and they're kind of great. you see ingrid bergman and then you see someone you have no idea who that is and you look it up and you realize there was a little bubble in time when they had something going for themselves. and that's really -- you know, in reality it sounds like i'm being facetious. but it really is kind of great that that's what show business is. it's all sorts of things. it's this and that. jimmy stewart. it's radio personalities and it's sports figures. so it's like all spread out. >> jimmy: do you know who your neighbors are on the hollywood

walk of fame? >> all i know is i'm right in front of the wax museum. >> jimmy: you are. your neighbors are edward bergen, the great ventriloquist. roseanne barr, arnold, whatever her last name is now. and lindsay wagner, the bionic woman. >> there you go. >> jimmy: somehow got a star before you did. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how the hell did that happen? [ laughter ] how the hell did i get a star before you did? [ laughter ] i think it's just because i'm one of the neighbors. >> these things just happen. i wasn't ready yet. they said she's not ready. we got a letter, you know, get a little better, and when she gets a little better, she gets a little age behind her -- >> jimmy: i'm glad you finally made it. by the way, this is prom season for a lot of high schools, and we dug this up. this is a -- i assume this is a photograph from your high school prom. >> is my hair doing that tonight? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: beautiful bouquet, by the way.

who was your -- my date was invisible, too. [ laughter ] >> no, no, no. no, no, no, no. >> jimmy: what was this? >> this is the deb star ball. >> jimmy: what's the deb star ball? >> i can't believe i even remembered that. >> jimmy: the deb star ball? >> it was called the deb star ball. only because i recognized my bangs. >> jimmy: was this a contest or something? >> no. in 1964, 1965 when i did "gidget" they used to ask, you know, certain starlets and new women in the business, young and foolish, put it that way, you had to come like it was your coming out party or something. and it was like the coconut grove or someplace like that and they made you look like that. >> jimmy: would you do it with all your friends -- >> no, i didn't know any of these people. >> jimmy: you didn't know any of them. >> they were women that were newly under contract to places. humiliating beyond belief. >> jimmy: well, i'm glad i brought it up. >> yeah, thank you so much. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you want to take another shot while you look it? >> probably why it took me so long to get that star.

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: by the way, i loved the spider-man movie. i know you're not a big spider-man fan. last time you were here you hadn't seen the spider-man. but it makes sense, right? why would you like spider-man? >> i don't know. i do like him in real life. i like andrew a lot. i'd follow him anywhere. >> jimmy: did you see him in it? >> i did. i actually saw this one. >> jimmy: oh, good. i thought it was good. it came out great. >> you know, it is great. and emmy and andrew are so good. they're so good together. >> jimmy: they're very charming together. usually i hate it when the hero has a girlfriend in the movie. it's like oh, just shoot each other with laser beams or something already. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but they do -- well, obviously they have real chemistry. >> they have real chemistry and they're just so good. and jamie's so good. jamie foxx. >> jimmy: he is great, yeah. >> he's so good in it. >> jimmy: he's scary. and sympathetic. >> he's the best-looking monster i've ever seen. he looks so good.

>> jimmy: what a wonderful compliment that is. [ laughter ] i think that's an old abbott & costello joke. she's either a beautiful woman or a very pretty monster. >> yeah. very true. >> jimmy: yeah, he is great, though. >> he's so good. >> jimmy: obviously, everyone knows you and julia roberts made "steel magnolias" together. >> yes, we did. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're good friends. i know that you are someone that she admires. i assume vice versa. >> oh, my god. julia? we don't see each other near enough. we have -- i think just one of those relationships, an ongoing kind of love affair from apart. you know, you bond with people and it doesn't ever die. >> jimmy: well, tonight we're going to try to end that friendly relationship. [ laughter ] >> it could die right now because i seriously worked at this. i want to win this. >> jimmy: oh, good. >> i'm very, very nervous. as you see, i can hardly speak. >> jimmy: you can go backstage, concentrate, maybe have another shot or two, whatever you need

to do to prepare for this -- >> i have to go prepare now? >> jimmy: we will bring you back together and you will do battle. >> now i have to go -- >> jimmy: you're welcome to hang out. >> no, i want to go. >> jimmy: totally up to you. >> i'm going to go. >> jimmy: whatever you want to do. when we come back, sally field will either be here or she won't. whichever she chooses. "the amazing spider-man 2" is in theaters now. the celebrity curse-off is on the way. we'll be right back with julia roberts. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you die double -- to you by doubletree hilton. twice the resolution of the iphone, has the ability to enhance your photos before you get the shot, hahaha, you got it? perfect. yeah! and change the focus, after you take the picture. it's our most powerful camera ever. whoa! t-mobile will pay your termination fees when you switch and trade in your device. get the samsung galaxy s5 now

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: still to come, music from future islands. as a special cinco de mayo treat, you're getting dos oscar-winning actresses tonight. our next guest is one of the

biggest movie stars on earth. later this month she brings her talents to television "the normal heart" debuts may 25th on hbo. please say hello to julia roberts. [ cheers and applause ] it's great to have you here. >> thank you. >> jimmy: are you cold? >> you are so much slimmer and more handsome in person. >> jimmy: well, thank you. [ cheers ] i've been starving. yeah. how are you? you are gorgeous in person. but i guess we all expect it. [ cheers and applause ] you and sally field, she was saying you guys have that kind of relationship where you feel very close to each other. >> i am so in love with that

woman. >> jimmy: but not close enough to make any kind of actual contact with each other. >> no. but that was in her contract somehow, that we couldn't be on stage at the same time. >> jimmy: did you meet on the set of "steel magnolias"? >> no. we didn't, actually. i believe -- and she knows this. that she is the reason why i got the part in "steel magnolias" was because i had met her before. the first movie i ever did, a little thing called "satisfaction" -- [ applause ] starring justine bateman. which was a super fun movie to be in. and alan greisman was married to sally. and she came to visit the set. and so we had met a few times. so when i came in on my sixth callback for "steel magnolias"

to read with sally field i think i was the only actor that walked in and didn't just immediately pee in my pants seeing her in person because i had done that months ago. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's nice. it gives you a little bit of an edge. >> i had the edge. >> jimmy: yeah. and did you do that thing where you told her how much she meant to you and all of that stuff that i imagine you get from other people too? >> i didn't. i'll do that tonight. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: maybe that's what she liked about you. >> my comfort with her and her sweet kindness towards me i believe gave me just what i needed to get that part. >> jimmy: well, she got her star on the hollywood walk of fame. in "pretty woman" your character worked on the street. [ laughter ] right here by us. it was different then. they cleaned the area up now. but -- >> oh, it is spit-shined and fine now. >> jimmy: really, because it's not so shiny. >> well, you should have been here 23, 5 years ago.

>> jimmy: what was going on out there? >> same but dirtier. >> jimmy: really? because as far as i know -- >> you're not here in those dark hours. >> jimmy: me? oh, yeah. i sleep over here sometimes. that's how hard i work. but no, it's really -- it's a little bit seedy. there are no hookers out there. i mean, that i know of. unless they're dressed as wonder woman. i don't think there are any hookers out there. >> of course they're dressed as wonder woman. >> jimmy: but there were hookers out here on this -- >> why do you keep saying hookers like that? >> jimmy: because it's a funny word everyone -- >> are you warming up for the curse-off? >> jimmy: oh, yeah. hooker -- >> because i only heard about that in the monologue. >> jimmy: if you use the word "hooker" -- >> exactly. thank you. they're listening. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "hooker" would not be counted. >> hooker is not a cuss word. >> jimmy: little kids can say hooker at school. >> but it's not said often, and we've said it plenty here tonight. >> jimmy: and yet not enough. [ laughter ]

>> somebody's had some tequila. >> jimmy: you know, that hadn't occurred to me, but you might be right. it works fast. >> no, it's so cute because your face has actually changed since i've been out here. [ laughter ] [ laughter ]jk you're just all relaxed and happy. >> jimmy: to be honest, i think it's more the shorts than the tequila. but -- [ cheers and applause ] i don't know if i'm blushing or flushing. [ laughter ] >> well, in that it's cinco de mayo, i would love to take just my own opportunity here on tv to say happy birthday to my friend declan. >> jimmy: to who? >> my friend declan. >> jimmy: oh. do i know -- >> it's his birthday. >> jimmy: that's weird. an irish guy would have a birthday on cinco de mayo. [ laughter ] in that case i'd like to say happy birthday to my sister-in-law lisa. >> is it her birthday? >> jimmy: it is.

>> is she irish? >> jimmy: she is not irish, no, but she married an irishman. >> is she mexican? >> jimmy: no, she's not mexican. >> okay. so this isn't working out for declan. >> jimmy: no. [ laughter ] what happened to the outfit from "pretty woman"? do you have that? >> i'm so scared of everything you're saying. >> jimmy: i'm curious, is that something -- >> you mean the hooker outfit? >> jimmy: yeah, the hooker outfit. is that something that you own? >> no. no. should i make this more conversational? >> jimmy: you don't get to take that home? >> not in those days i didn't. >> jimmy: really? >> no. no. i would. but -- there were more than one. i think there were a few. one i know for certain was auctioned off for charity, and i think -- >> jimmy: that's weird. [ laughter ] [ applause ] slightly inappropriate.

but i guess you can still make a difference. >> we do what we can. and i think a japanese corporation bought it and put it in their lobby. >> jimmy: oh, god only knows. [ laughter ] it's best not to think about it. >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. i'm going to give you a chance to think about what's coming up in a few minutes. >> to panic? >> jimmy: no. because sally field is taking this very seriously. >> she's probably back there right now practicing. >> jimmy: she might be memorizing words, which in my opinion is against the rules. i think they have to come from inside you. [ laughter ] >> okay. this is -- i think we do need a break to talk about our terms here. >> jimmy: thank you. we'll take a break. julia roberts is here. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. [ brian ] in a race, it's about getting to the finish line. in life, it's how you get there that matters most. it's important to know the difference.

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there's a strange reaction in your system. it's collapsed. the diseases most of my patients are coming down with are brought on by germs that wouldn't hurt a baby. >> ticklish. >> at least not a baby in new york city anyway. the immune system is the system we know least about. so where's this big mouth i hear you've got? >> is the big mouth a symptom? >> no. it's a cure. >> jimmy: that's julia roberts in "the normal heart," which is an hbo movie. [ applause ]

really very serious subject matter. has to do with when they kind of figured out what aids was. >> with the, really it's before they figured it out, when it just became this horrible, increasing epidemic that they couldn't figure out what was causing it or how it was being spread and -- >> they thought it was cancer. >> they called it the gay cancer. >> jimmy: gay people called it's gay cancer. >> "the new york times" called it gay cancer. >> jimmy: oh, okay. well, in the movie, yeah, the guys themselves are raising money to fight gay cancer. >> to fight to be represented as people who needed help. and i think one of my favorite things about this piece, which larry kramer wrote and was a play twice now and is now this hbo -- i mean, i applaud hbo for their programming in general is

so fantastic. and for them to show this, the great thing about it is to be reminded that we turned our back on ourselves, on each other, in such an incredible way when people needed help and were suffering. we weren't there for one another. and it wasn't that long ago. this is the '80s. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so to be reminded of that time and the people that we lost really just because we were scared into inaction, i think it's always a good place to be. and i know that it's a hard subject matter and it doesn't lend itself to jokes. but it does lend itself to joy because it reminds us how fortunate we are to be here for each other and to remember a time when we weren't and not make the same mistake ever again. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i'm glad everyone

clapped. it makes it easier for us to move forward. with the nonsense we have in store. >> wow, did i just kill his buzz? >> jimmy: speaking of the '80s, we happen to have your prom picture here, julia. [ cheers and applause ] >> okay. how red is my face now. >> jimmy: who is this guy you went to the prom with? >> bill. >> jimmy: how was it? how did it go? >> he was so nice. we didn't go to school together. >> jimmy: you looked exactly the same. how is that possible? it is remarkable. [ applause ] your hair's a different color. >> just i want to for the sake of i don't know what, my own ego, there's a hair shadow that's making my hair appear much larger -- >> jimmy: okay. >> -- than it actually was. [ laughter ]

do you see that there's a shadow? >> jimmy: that shadow is called the '80s. [ laughter ] working over me. are you ready to do? because i think sally is ready and i think america is ready. >> well, the way you're setting it up, it's like olympic -- >> jimmy: this is going to be bigger than the olympics. [ laughter ] >> do i need to stretch, put on some stretch pants? >> jimmy: do whatever you need to do. i have lululemon pants upstairs if you want some. >> that was so weird so fast. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: julia roberts is here. her movie is called "the normal heart." it debuts may 25th on hbo. it's very serious. we won't joke about it at all. but when we come back, julia roberts versus sally field in the "celebrity curse-off." we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ]

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>> jimmy: welcome back. it is a tremendous honor to have both sally field and julia roberts on the show tonight. and it's also an opportunity to find out which of these

incredibly talented women has the foulest mouth. cover your ears, america, because it's time for our first ever "celebrity curse-off." [ cheers and applause ] the rules are very simple. each of our contestants, you will have five seconds to come up with a curse. no repeats allowed. no touching the host's bell. [ laughter ] i will be the sole judge that determines whether the word -- >> okay. you say one bad word? >> jimmy: yeah, one bad word and then -- >> no, you can say mixed together. >> jimmy: well, you do them one at a time. >> come on, come on, come on! >> you have five seconds to say bad things and then -- >> jimmy: one bad thing and then it will be sally's turn to say a bad thing. >> how do i know when my turn's over? >> jimmy: your turn is over when you say a bad word. and then whoever can't come up with a word will lose this competition and the other one will win. are you guys ready? >> yes.

>> jimmy: i'm going to -- >> we have to face that way? >> jimmy: heads or tails? sally. >> tails. no -- [ bleep ] give me -- it's tails. [ bleep ] >> jimmy: all right. sally begins. >> wait, i can't say [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: you can't repeat what she says. >> why am i in a curse-off with the flying nun? how did this happen? >> jimmy: her nunship has been revoked. >> if she says [ bleep ] i can't say it? >> jimmy: no, you can't say it. you have to come up with a new one. you have five seconds. begin. >> okay. [ bleep ]er. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: now we go with sally. >> [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: julia. >> [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: sally. >> [ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: julia. >> [ bleep ] for brains. >> jimmy: sally. >> [ bleep ] sucker. >> jimmy: julia, you have two

seconds. >> oh. okay. wait, wait. butthole. >> jimmy: i don't know if that -- >> in kindergarten. >> jimmy: okay. sally. >> [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: this is a massacre. julia, you have five seconds. >> teabagging. >> jimmy: sally. >> [ bleep ] licker. >> jimmy: a lot of licking going on. >> rusty trombone. >> jimmy: sally. >> i got this from my son. [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: oh, my god. julia. >> what is that? >> i fell over laughing. it must be something bad or good. >> son of a bitch. >> jimmy: that's a classic. sally. >> [ bleep ] it. >> jimmy: julia, back to you.

>> oh, my mother, she's so proud right now. wait, don't. don't, don't. wait. [ bleep ]. did we say that? >> jimmy: we did say that. >> did we say [ bleep ] for brains? >> jimmy: we did say that. >> [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: we said that. you're under -- >> no, no, no, no. go [ bleep ] yourself! [ cheers and applause ] >> that's three words. >> jimmy: sally. [ cheers and applause ] thank you, ladies. we'll be right back with future islands. wow. [ cheers and applause ]

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♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank sally field, julia roberts, and apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time. "nightline" is next. but first, here's their album "singles." here with the song "doves," future islands! ♪ ♪ we've traded places times before we were built for making love and not for war ♪ ♪ i'm screaming fire fire and watching from the door i'm

feeling burnt clean under your eyes putting me out ♪ ♪ ooh ooh baby don't hurt no more ooh ooh keep from crying ♪ ♪ ooh ooh baby don't hurt no more ooh ooh ooh baby don't hurt no more ♪ ♪ and i feel it go what we held so slow goes so quickly ♪ ♪ and i need to know all i need to know is the pain of lying ♪ ♪ it's just a little too much on my mind this time this time ♪

♪ it's just a little too much on my mind mind and i'm begging you please singing ♪ ♪ ooh ooh baby don't hurt no more ooh ooh keep from crying ♪ ♪ ooh ooh baby don't hurt no more ooh ooh ♪ ♪ ooh baby don't hurt no more ooh ooh ooh baby don't hurt no more ♪ ♪ ooh ooh ooh baby don't hurt no more ooh ooh ooh baby don't hurt no more ♪ ♪ it's not for you it's not for you it's not for you ♪ ♪ it's not for you it's not for you it's not for you ♪

♪ ooh ooh ooh baby don't hurt no more ooh ooh ooh baby don't hurt no more ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪

this is "nightline" -- tonight the buyers' nightmare. >> absolutely crazy. it's a war. >> they have done everything right. why do the families have to go to such extremes just to buy a home. >> so competitive. >> we are there for an emotional bidding war. who better to guide us through it than the shark herself. plus the rising star on a mission. ten concerts in 24 hours. we're along for the wild ride and country's up and comer, hunter hayes tries to do something nobody has ever done before. ♪ ♪ >> could there now be a feud