>> thank you, sandhya. i get to say right now o

a dog is loose on the freeway. they're moving pretty fast i have to say trying to catch it. that is some serious determination there. i know these -- oh, there's the police involved. by the way, this dog is having so much fun right now. a number of police cars are on the scene. they've got the dog surrounded now. oh, well -- okay, now they don't have him surrounded anymore. and, well, no. oh, we lost -- okay, now the dog's in the other way on the freeway. no one's -- oh, looks like he

has exited -- the dog has exited the freeway, he's disappeared into the bushes somewhere. okay, now up against a fence, i guess. oh! oh! he's about to get over the fence -- and oh my goodness. oh my -- oh my -- [ cheers and applause ] and back over the fence. it's like an action movie and a romantic comedy all wrapped up in one. anyway, i'm glad it had a happy ending. you know, the l.a. clippers -- have you been following the story of the clippers and donald sterling? well, he's been taped again. that's right. today a new audiotape of mr. sterling emerged and by emerged i mean one of his friends gave or sold it to a website. i don't know who the friend is or why he taped the call. but it's interesting to hear donald sterling explain why there's no way he can be a racist. >> you think i'm a racist? you think i have anything in the

world but love for everybody? you don't think that. you know i'm not a racist. >> i know i got -- i mean, when i heard the -- >> i can't hear you. >> what about when i hear these -- when i hear that tape, though that tape i heard. >> i grew up in east l.a. east l.a., you'd die to get out of there. i got out of east l.a. i was the president of the high school there. i mean, if -- and i'm a jew. and 50% of the people there were black and 40% were hispanic. >> jimmy: not that i was counting. not that i even noticed. as you know the nba is trying to force donald sterling to sell the team and there are a number of celebrities who have expressed interest in buying it but it doesn't sound to me like donald sterling's planning to get up without a fight. >> they're trying to force you to sell it. >> you can't force somebody to sell property in america. well, i'm a lawyer, that's my -- >> no, i'm just saying, i think

they got sean combs diddy, he's the one that's really seeking to buy, him and oprah. >> who? >> jimmy: who? he doesn't know who oprah is? maybe he really is out of it. yeah, i think you can go to jail for not knowing who oprah is, right? i've got to ask kobe about this. kobe bryant is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] up until last week the lakers were the most screwed up nba team in town. not anymore. i wonder if kobe can buy the clippers while he's on the lakers. not a bad idea. we'll get into all that. labelle and farrell are here too. seems kind of weird to be talking about football right now but they held the first round of the nfl draft at radio city music halton night. the draft is the annual event that determines which quarterback will become the next celebrity spokesman for papa

john's so it's a big deal. wouldn't it be fun if every job had a draft? the management at chipotle at la bray and charles chooses kyle. it's gotten so big next year, they're thinking about moving it to peyton manning's forehead, that's how big it is. as expected the number one pick was south carolina defensive end jadeveon clowney who went to the houston texans. jadeveon clowney also happens to be my number one pick for a baby name. my wife is expecting and jadeveon clowney kimmel, boy or girl, is our top choice. you know, mothers bay is on sunday. guillermo, did you get your mother something for mother's day, did you get her a gift? >> no, not yet. >> what about your mother-in-law, will you get her a gift? >> never. >> jimmy: never. in a way you are her gift, you know? >> guillermo: unfortunately. >> jimmy: unfortunately. without mothers, well, we wouldn't be here so be sure to thank your mom on sunday. unless your life is bad, in that

case take the opportunity to blame her for putting you on this godforsaken earth. since it is mother's day sunday we thought it would be appropriate to shine a spotlight on a celebrity mom. from time to time we ask the moms of famous rappers to read the lyrics of their favorite songs. and it's fun. tonight yg was kind enough to lend us husband mom to recite the lyrics of "toot it and boot it." >> i'm mama yg and this is from "toot it and boot it." i met her in the club and i say what's up, i took her to the crib and you know i [ bleep ]. yeah toot it and boot it toot it and boot it toot it and boot it that's yes toot it and boot it. that's yg, my little tooter and booter. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very cute. the y doesn't fall far from the g. did you feel the earthquake we had last night here in los angeles? it almost knocked my collection of precious moments figurines

off the mantel. thank got they're all okay. 11:39 last night, a magnitude 3.3 quake hit about ten miles outside of downtown. 3.3, it's somewhere between -- in l.a. terms it's somewhere between mila kunis tripping on a yoga mat and lindsay lohan crashing an suv through your front porch. speaking of earthquakes, toronto mayor rob ford is -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's in rehab. last week, after another crack tape showed up, the mayor left town to get help. which by the way what must it be like to work in a rehab facility, see rob ford walk through the door? all i can imagine is red lights start flashing, a siren goes off, "this is what we've been training for, people, let's go!" mayored for told a reporter he's paying $100,000 for a treatment and he's "working out like an animal." he didn't specify which animal. i'm guessing walrus, i don't

know. the reason we know all of this is because the mayor hasn. >> talking to a reporter from "the toronto sun" from rehab. yesterday he told the reporter that he got in major trouble with the people who run the rehab for talking with the press. in other words, he did an interview on wednesday to tell the reporter he was not supposed to have done an interview on tuesday. so it sounds like he's got this thing locked down. you know, summer's almost here and that means it's time to figure out if you have kids what to do with them. a lot of parents will sign their kids up for camp, which is fun, because you make friends and learn to smoke and whatnot. my parents didn't send us to camp because they charge money for camp. my parents sent us to our rooms for the summer. but there's a new camp program that's very affordable. it's being offered in about 30 cities right now. if you or a tight budget, it might be worth looking into this. >> summer's almost here and you need to find somewhere to send the kids. traditional camps can cost

thousands. but now there's another way. introducing camp long-term storage. the world's most affordable camp for kids ages 8 to 16. simply unload your kids at one of our convenient loading docks and you're free to go. lts campers will enjoy a full roster of activities that will give them memories to last a lifetime. sitting cross-legged. waiting. roasting marshmallows. standing. splashing around in the pool. crying. racket sports. kayaking. staring at the wall. and much, much more. your kid's safety is a top priority at camp long-term storage. if they're lost, damaged or stolen they will be replaced with a kid of equal or greater value. >> that's a guarantee. ♪ camp long-term storage we need to store your kid ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: convenient. and affordable.

this is an odd bit of music news. apparently cher has provided vocals for two new songs on the upcoming wutang clan album. for real. it's a new album called "the wu once upon a time in shaolin." it's notable because the band only made one copy of it. their plan is to sell the cd to the highest bidder, to one person. they claim someone's already bid $5 million. how do you break the news to your wife you paid $5 million for a wutang cd? i know we're supposed to be saving a house but this is the one they did with cher! i guarantee the first thing cher did when wutang asked if they wanted to collaborate with google, what is a -- is it tang? tank? here's some exciting movie news for you. lionsgate, the film company, is rebooting the mighty morphin power rangers franchise. movie producers need to stop holding meetings at 6-year-old

birthday parties. adapting these for movies is a popular trend in hollywood. they've done it with smurfs, scooby do, transformers, godzilla. the producers of that movie seem to be dipping into the '90s kids' tv show well too. >> announcer: on may 16th -- >> i realize not all of you have had hands-on experience. none of us have ever faced a situation quite like this one before. >> he is coming. >> your courage will never be more needed than it is today. >> and he is not your friend. >> okay! >> barneyzilla. ♪ i love you you love me >> rated g. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: barney, remember him? and one more thing, it's

thursday night, it's time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary cens censorship." >> california chrome, we met him, i like his personality, hadn't trying to [ bleep ] us so he's feisty. >> where in toronto is. [ bleep ] mayor? >> clippers prepare for a big name tonight, fans are [ bleep ] in more ways than one. >> are you in love with donald sterling? >> i [ bleep ] him. >> i'm not sure that's what i asked. >> did you get any sense that he knows he [ bleep ] up here? >> i think most firefighters would say, hey, thank you mother [ bleep ]. >> i'd like to ask you, how would you [ bleep ] my butt? >> have you -- >> have i? >> [ bleep ]. >> have i [ bleep ] the bum? no, that would be telling, wouldn't it. >> what did you say? >> he said [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. >> i filled the bridge but it was all wobbly.

>> but you let us [ bleep ] you in the [ bleep ]. >> yes, i'm going to let you [ bleep ] me again. ♪ ♪ monster builder can we [ bleep ] it ♪ >> jimmy: we have music from farrell williams and we'll be right back with kobe bryant! ...you have to perform. you've got to build a crowd from nothing. find what gets them moving, and do it. my intel-powered tablet can respond immediately... so when i get my crowd... ...this funk machine won't let them down. ♪

up to 60% off plus 10% offday mattress spectacular get an extra 5% off or up to 60 months financing and get free delivery start your search at sears, where members get more you always get the lowest price book any flight or hotel and if you find it for less we'll match it and give you fifty dollars back

that's the expedia guarantee

[ cheers and applause ] tonight on the show, see her alongside jon hamm in the new movie "million dollar arm," lake bell is here with us tonight. back for a second night with music from this album called "girl" we have pharell williams from the at&t outdoor stage. and next week, emily blunt will be here. nathan lane. adam corolla, from shark tank, damon john, and music from royal blood, iggy azalea. and the birds of satan. aren't all birds birds of satan? if like me you ar lakers fan who is disappointed not to have a

stake in the playoffs this year, i can assure you our first guest tonight is far more unhappy about that than we are. he is a 5-time nba champion and one of the all-time greats. please say hello to kobe bryant. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you only walked a short way but it looks like everything is working. looks like you are physically -- what percentage are you at physically, would you say? >> from a health standpoint 100%. >> jimmy: what about a basketball standpoint? >> i started doing a lot of on-court training. so i'm back in my routine. started lifting. and then started doing the running. which i hate. >> jimmy: yeah. >> by the time the season comes around, i will be ready to go. >> jimmy: has the season been fun for you to watch the laker season this year? >> yes, it's been highly

enjoyable. yes, yeah. i mean, you know. i'd rather stay at home and eat paint chips. you know. it was tough. it was really, really tough. but you know when you go through seasons like that, it just, adds fuel to the fire to come back. >> jimmy: do you feel optimistic about next season? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: you will have a new coach next season. mike d'antoni has left the team. >> right. >> jimmy: i guess, i don't know. i'm sure that wasn't entirely his choice. i want to run something by because magic tweeted, after mike d'antoni left, "happy days are here again, mike d'antoni resigns as the lakers' coach, i couldn't be happier." >> first things i thought of, seeing the munchkins on the yellow brick road. singing "the wicked witch is dead." when he tweeted it, the song came to mind. no, i mean, look. mike was dealt a really bad hand in dealing with all the injuries that he had here. you know, this is a tough place. if you're not winning.

>> jimmy: yeah, right. were you happy to see him go? >> no. honestly i didn't care. >> jimmy: you've didn't care. will the team -- does the team in general do they run, the coaches that they're considering, do they run the names by you beforehand? >> no. in the last two they didn't. on the third one i am hoping they do. [ laughter ] you know? but we have -- jimmy and jeanie both. they're really determined and -- you know excited about the possibilities of next season and rebuilding this. and building on their father's legacy and everything that he accomplished. and they're taking the challenge extremely seriously. they're both on the same page. they want nothing but excellence here. so i have no doubt that we'll make it happen. >> jimmy: do you call them and say, hey, you know who'd like to look at? mark jackson, or steve kerr, or whoever's out there. >> now i think it is a really -- you know, an open door policy. we talk back and forth. you know we'll text or -- >> jimmy: that's a tricky thing.

because on one hand, you know, you have 12 players on the team. and, you don't want to necessarily show favoritism. on the other hand, if you don't like the coach, there's going to be a problem. so they've kind of got to take your temp our on that. >> honestly it is not whether the players like the coach. or not. to be honest with you. it is really about getting results. you know, not necessarily, those results, and you know, liking somebody and results don't necessarily go hand in hand. >> jimmy: although if you get the results you're more inclined to like that coach. >> yeah. sometimes when the coach is driving you, you don't necessarily like it. >> jimmy: right. >> right. but you, part of the process. and then once you win everybody is buddy buddy after that. >> jimmy: does any one drive you harder than you drive yourself? >> no. no. i'm pretty -- i'm pretty psychopathic when it comes to that stuff. but you know. there's coaches, phil, i've been very lucky to have phil as a coach throughout my entire career. jim clemens, frank hamlin, brian shaw, those guys.

they've really done wonders for my career. >> jimmy: is there any truth to the rumor i started earlier that you were going to buy the clippers? >> well -- >> jimmy: is there a rule? can you own a team that you play against? >> no. >> jimmy: you cannot. have you looked into it? >> no. because i know that's -- >> jimmy: doesn't work? >> not a possibility. as far as brand depreciation goes. that's as quick as you can get. >> jimmy: you were thinking of playing for the clippers. did you meet with donald sterling at that time? >> i did. >> jimmy: seems like a good guy, yeah? >> well, you know at the time. at the time the biggest concern was he willing to spend, to have a successful team. >> jimmy: the answer is always no. >> right. right. going up to that time. and then he, he said during the meeting that he was willing to make that commitment to bring a championship team. another championship team to los angeles. and you know, he has done it. he has spent the money to go out

and keep blake and deandre and c.p. and those guys. >> jimmy: when you see those guys, there's a rivalry, you're both in l.a. when you see them in the playoffs are you rooting -- are you hoping they win? are you hoping they lose? or does it matter to you either way? >> it doesn't matter to me. i'm not winning, what do i care who wins. [ laughter ] doesn't matter to me. most of them are friends of mine. chris is a good friend. make sure i send him a message during this fiasco. >> jimmy: right. >> so no, i mean, i watch and hope to god that i know they will. >> jimmy: it does make it tougher though on the lakers when the clippers are doing well. i know it makes my life more difficult. and of course, you know that is my primary concern. >> yeah. you know, i think it is great, actually. i think it's great for city. i think it's great for competition. i love if it when they do well. i would love nothing more than for the lakers to get back to that championship level and meet the clippers in the playoffs.

i think that would be -- >> jimmy: that would be great. kings/ducks are doing that in the nhl. i want to talk about another sport when we come back. the nfl draft is tonight. you were 17 years old when you were drafted into the nba which is, well, pretty great. kobe bryant is here with us. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] the amb. the ambulance chaser... chasing the ambulance. a rollerblader with headphones who's oblivious to everything. the cab driver who's checking out the rollerblader. it's 360 degrees of chaos out there. but with driver-assist technology, including a blind spot system and a rear-view camera, the ford fusion will help tell you when it's coming. ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ you've reached the age where you've learned a thing or two. this is the age of knowing what you're made of. so why let erectile dysfunction get in your way? talk to your doctor about viagra. 20 million men already have. ask your doctor if your heart is healthy enough for sex. do not take viagra if you take nitrates for chest pain... it may cause an unsafe drop in blood pressure. side effects include headache, flushing, upset stomach, and abnormal vision. to avoid long-term injury, seek immediate medical help for an erection lasting more than four hours. stop taking viagra and call your doctor right away if you experience a sudden decrease or loss in vision or hearing. this is the age of taking action. viagra. talk to you doctor. introducing nespresso vertuoline. now coffee becomes an experience like nothing you've ever had before.

[ penelope ] nespresso vertuoline. experience the revolution of coffee. and here. but what about here? [ female announcer ] neutrogena® visibly even daily moisturizer with a clinically proven soy complex. it diminishes the look of dark spots in 4 short weeks. and just like that your skin will look radiant and more even. even from here. [ female announcer ] visibly even moisturizer and new bb cream. from neutrogena®. and new bb cream. the new samsung galaxy s5 helps you stay ♪ on top of your goals. it works with your gear fit to give you a nudge when you need it... ...somebody's motivated... ...a pat on the back when you deserve it... ...and tracks your overall fitness with the first ever built in heart rate monitor.

introducing the samsung galaxy s5. available at verizon. this is martin. he likes to put but not veggie kebabs. he also likes "that's what she said" jokes. martin: that's what she said! you may not like what martin likes, and that's ok. a.1. for almost everything. almost. ♪ ♪

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're back with kobe bryant. on the night of the nfl draft. as we were talking about a minute ago you were 17 years old when you were drafted. who was most nervous that night in your circle? >> i think my sister was. >> jimmy: your sister was, really? >> my sisters they get very emotional. >> jimmy: really? >> emotional. and, you know, i think the last thing she said to me probably

was, "just don't trip." >> jimmy: is she competitive too? is it a family thing? >> yeah, they're competitive. you know, not nearly as competitive as i was, being the younger one in the family, but they're competitive. >> jimmy: how old are your daughters now? >> one just turned 8, and 11. >> jimmy: 8 and 11. they're playing sports? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i heard a story one of the kids was upset she lost a game. you showed them video of yourself losing in 2008. >> my youngest one, she becomes very emotional when she loses. i have no idea where she gets that from. she had a really tough game. playing softball, a really tough time, she was crying and stuff. and i was telling her, look, it's all right. you lose, it's okay. no, it's not okay. i'm going, how the hell do i reach this kid, man? i showed her us getting absolutely destroyed, pummeled by the celtics. and being upset. crying and stuff. showing it is okay. and then i showed her, 2010 finals. bounce back.

and redeemed ourselves. and, you know try to use that as some kind of teaching tool. >> jimmy: do you think it worked? >> yeah, i think so. she went out in the championship game. had the game-winning double. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> seemed like it worked pretty well for her. >> jimmy: what's the age group? >> 8 to 13. >> jimmy: 8 to 13. so kids will come. and you're there. you're playing basketball -- >> i'm there every day. kind of use that as a teaching tool beyond basketball. you come and learn fundamentals of the game. fundamentals of the sport. you also learn leadership, communication, how to work within a group, as well as think as an yesterday. and we try to -- you know hopefully when they leave there, the parents see their kid being a better basketball player. but also the kid has formed relationships with kids from all over the world. has learned more about themselves. >> jimmy: are there kids that have played in your basketball camp that have gone on to become notable basketball players in college or the nba? >> no, not that kind of camp.

>> jimmy: oh, really, it's not like one of those -- >> no, it's in the like one of those elite basketball camps. >> jimmy: right. it's more -- >> it's for kids that enjoy playing the game. some might go on to be great players. others just enjoy the sport. >> jimmy: speaking of kids that enjoy the game. player on the lakers, named nick young. i want to show -- he did this at the dodgers game. he threw out the first pitch. and it's possibly the worst first pitch ever thrown. and i wonder what's going on with this guy? >> that makes two of us. that's crazy. >> jimmy: do you think he did that on purpose? >> i pray to god he did. >> jimmy: really demonstrates no athletic ability whatsoever. >> zero. that's -- that's so bad it's impressive. >> jimmy: you have a new sports drink now that you're -- it's your company. >> yeah, i bought the company. invested into the company.

and it's called body armor. and you know, it's all about upgrading the sports drink. the reason yes invested in it, it's tough, because you get to the end of your career, you start thinking about transitioning from that, right? doing things -- >> jimmy: you think, i'm going to need a drink. >> you got to focus on things you could understand. an industry you understand. sports is obviously one that i understand. so far the sports drink category has been dominated by one brand. but we believe there is an opportunity to really upgrade that industry. and come with a better proposition and a better product. and really that's what body armor stands pour. >> jimmy: if body armor doesn't do well, will you sit on the bench and cry? >> yeah, we'll all sit there. myself and michael pulley is one of the founders -- we'll all sit there and just cry. >> jimmy: we'll take a quick break. one more segment with kobe bryant. kobe bryant is here. july 9th through the 13th at uc

santa barbara, find out more at kobeacademy.com. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. they like to put a.1. on pork but not beans.

they also like to sit on the same side of the booth. you may not like what the mctaggarts like, and that's ok. a.1. for almost everything. almost. your education is built to help move your career forward. here's how: we work with leading employers to learn what you need to learn so classes impact your career. while helping ensure credits you've already earned pay off. and we have career planning tools to keep you on track every step of the way. plus the freshman fifteen, isn't really a thing here. and graduation, it's just the beginning. because we build education around where you want to go. so, you know, you can get the job you want. ready, let's get to work. and now you get hit again.asis. this time by joint pain. it's a double whammy. it could psoriatic arthritis a chronic inflammatory disease that attacks your joints on the inside and your skin on the outside.

if you've been hit by... find out more about psoriatic arthritis. take the symptom quiz at doublewhammy.com and talk to your doctor. but they don't yet know we're a family. we're right where you need us. at the next job, next adventure or at the next exit helping you explore super destinations and do everything under the sun. 12 brands. more hotels than anyone else in the world. so wherever you want to be, whatever you want to do, chances are we're already there. save up to 25% and earn bonus points when you book at wyndhamrewards.com. save up to 25% and earn bonus points by perfecting the recipe for the world's #1 bourbon. now, we've infused it with real honey. so come springtime, don't get between these guys and that barrel. jim beam® honey. and also try jim beam® maple. layer upon layer of bacteria,

so destroy these layers with listerine®. its unique formula penetrates these layers deeper than any other mouthwash. for a cleaner, healthier mouth, #1 dentist recommended listerine®. power to your mouth™. golive garden'svoritesd asignature favorites, just $10 including creamy fettuccine alfredo, and our classic lasagna. plus unlimited soup or salad and warm breadsticks. signature favorites, just $10 all week long, at olive garden. you can get a $500 bonus on top of all current offers on select volkswagen models including the sporty jetta s, now leasing for just $159.00 a month the remarkably versatile tiguan and the passat midsized family sedan. so, what's the shortest distance between you and a great deal on a new volkswagen? a straight line... to the volkswagen memorial day event. get 0% apr for 60 months on all 2014 passat gasoline models plus a total of $1,250 in available bonuses.

the car with away. the cailes per gallon highw. the car with almost 900 miles between fill-ups. the car road & track called america's most fuel efficient new car, isn't a prius. surprised? state of the art clean diesel technology. a fuel-efficient eco start/stop system. engineered to virtually sip fuel. the mercedes-benz e250 bluetec. defying expectations. again. >> jimmy: welcome ba >> jimmy: welcome back. with kobe bryant. i just have a minute. i want to ask you one thing. phil jackson has been telling a

story about you, you are young, met michael jordan. according to phil he says that you told michael jordan that you would kick his ass one-on-one. >> i mean, half truth. you know. phil, phil, as much as i love phil, phil likes to embellish. phil, you know. he writes books a lot. he has to market those books. but, the other story, you know, michael, you know, dishing it out to me as well. >> jimmy: that doesn't surprise me. >> yeah, i mean, you know. years later, after i scored 81, he was barking at how i could never do it against him. there's no way you're going to score 80 on me, i would have fouled out. would have gone back and forth. i try to stay cool when it comes to m.j. because i like him so much. on that particular occasion i had to remind him that i did have 42 1/2 against him. >> jimmy: you dunked a lot. >> yeah, yeah, yeah.

but, phil -- phil loves embellishing. i told him at some point you are going to have to give me royalties off your books. >> jimmy: yeah, really, you're like his lead character. >> i mean, my god. >> jimmy: do you miss him? >> i do. we speak often. >> jimmy: do you think he will do well in new york? >> i think he'll do fantastic. you know, phil -- especially the more people say he won't be successful. >> jimmy: that drives him. >> absolutely, absolutely. i found myself reading a lot of the books that he gave me when i was a player, that i was just too young and had too much energy to actually sit down and pay attention to. he was just a fantastic mentor and unbelievable coach. >> jimmy: i'm sure he'll be back eventually. he seems to come back every once in a while. >> i'm not touching that one. >> jimmy: you've got two more years. do you feel you guys can win next year? >> i do. >> jimmy: do you feel like you need to get -- [ cheers and applause ] that they need to make some changes? >> well, we'll make changes. for sure. i mean, there is certain characteristics that you have to build your team around. speed, length. rebounding. defensing.

we'll make those adjustments. >> jimmy: if you have a spot for me, let me know, i'm available. >> listen, man, any time. >> jimmy: it's great to see you. thanks for coming by. keep working out, the knee, achilles and all that stuff. kobe bryant. basketball academy at uc san gra. and also there's going to be a documentary about his life. we'll be right back with lake bell! [ cheers and applause ] and drawing up plays. it's got onenote, so i can stay on top of my to-do list, which has been absolutely absurd since the big game. with skype, it's just really easy to stay in touch with the kids i work with. alright, russell you are good to go! alright, fellas. alright, russ. back to work!

up to 60% off plus 10% offday mattress spectacular get an extra 5% off or up to 60 months financing and get free delivery start your search at sears, where members get more ♪ [ whirring ] [ cracking ] [ wind howling ] a new mint flavor that intensifies as you chew. new 5 ascent gum. stimulate your senses. you may be muddling through allergies. don't get caught off guard. try new zyrtec® dissolve tabs. powerful allergy relief now in a tablet that starts dissolving instantly. new zyrtec® dissolve tabs.

there was a boy who traveled to a faraway placently. where villages floated on water and castles were houses dragons lurked giants stood tall and the good queen showed the boy it could all be real avo: whatever you can imagine, all in one place expedia, find yours

[whispering] i'm the breakfast fairy. what are you doing? leaving you a few bucks. that's all you need for my - sourdough breakfast melts, with your choice of ham, egg and cheese, or bacon egg and cheese, both on toasted sourdough. right now they're 2 for just $4.00. there's no such thing as the breakfast fairy. woah, woah - you're right. uh, i'm jack. i just put these wings on and broke in through your window to leave some money under your pillow ohh, good. cuz for a minute there this wasn't making any sense.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a fine actress and one of america's great lakes. starting may 16th you can see her alongside jon hamm in "million dollar arm." please welcome lake bell! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: congratulations. >> thank you. thank you so much. >> jimmy: i don't know you are aware.

but you're pregnant. that is some dress you have on. i don't know what's going on. >> the first time you can call me two face. >> jimmy: actually i think there's three technically if you go all the way down. congratulations. i don't want to ask too many personal -- >> no, let's get into it. >> jimmy: are people giving you advice with your stomach and all that stuff? >> i'm not at the stomach-touching time yet. you have to get bigger and people are just -- yeah i'm coming out of the first trimester. this is my first time doing this. i'm coming out of the first trimester. you get a little bit -- all of the hangover. it's like all hangover, no tequila. >> jimmy: ideally, no tequila. >> yeah, ideally. >> jimmy: unless you name the baby tequila which is kind of a nice name. >> tequila campbell. >> jimmy: did you find out -- >> it's actually -- >> jimmy: nice ring to it. >> thank you. >> jimmy: are you going to find out the baby's gender? >> you know what, i don't -- i just want it healthy and cool. you know?

i don't want it to be like a [ bleep ], you know? these are like my main things. i don't care if it's a girl or a guy. just like, don't be a [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: maybe name the baby dick and that way -- >> yeah, cancel it out. >> jimmy: you're on the cover of "esquire" magazine. [ cheers and applause ] now, that is -- >> see that? see that, and then this. >> jimmy: were you pregnant when you shot this? >> here's for real what happened. >> jimmy: you got pregnant on the set? >> after. no. that is -- this is super cool, actually. this day before i went to go shoot this. i peed on a stick and found out i was pregnant. >> jimmy: wow. >> i swear. >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. so -- in my eyes i'm just like -- [ bleep ]. you know? but it's -- it's literally -- i mean, it was -- it was profound. you know?

i was like, oh, i got this, "esquire" shoot. sexy. you know. and then my husband bought all of the different types of varieties of, you know, stick peeing mechanisms. and i peed on one. and it just -- it just -- it's a digital one. it just says "pregnant." and we looked at it. and we're like, oh. those are digital, i don't trust it, i don't trust technology, let's get the old-school one. we got the old-school one. peed on so many. >> jimmy: a stray dog peeing on everything. >> totally. you want to make sure. >> jimmy: this is pretty great, then, to have this -- >> it is. >> jimmy: this should be on the front page of the baby book. >> i wonder, i wonder, i wonder if "esquire" ever had a pregnant lady on the cover. >> jim: your husband is a tattoo artist. and you don't have any tattoos do you? >> i don't. he carries all the tattoos for the family. i think i get to look at them all the time. >> jimmy: unusual a tattoo artist would be married to someone with none.

>> like living in brooklyn and looking at manhattan all the time. kind of the best of both worlds. we live in brooklyn, i get to look at manhattan, enjoy manhattan. same with tattoos. i don't need to have tattoos. i look at all the tattoos. >> jimmy: will he tattoo the baby, it is half his. >> it could come out with half of them done. solid. but i' never be able to say to my child, you cannot get a tattoo. you know. >> jimmy: no, you will most certainly not. >> only if your father does it. >> jimmy: the only way to do it is to tell your kid they want them to get a tattoo. >> then they won't. i was thinking about that. maybe they won't want any tattoos. they'll see it. oh, my dad has tattoos. >> jimmy: you might be right. you should get tattoos. i think well it depends on if it is a boy or girl. who they're going to rebel against. there's really no telling, might as well tattoo them right out of the womb. >> just so i know. >> jimmy: i saw your movie by the way, thought it was excellent. an interesting story. true story. about an agent who went to india --

>> yes. >> jimmy: to recruit -- to find a baseball pitcher. >> yeah. for the record, i don't know ding-dong daddy about baseball or sports. or anything. so i will say i truly enjoy this movie because it is very much about this emotional -- this sort of like emotional journey this guy's going on inadvertently. jon hamm plays this down on his luck sports agent. all these other people sort of help -- pepper this journey. i'm one of the people. >> jimmy: is your character based on a real person? >> a real person. yes. which i've never done before too. >> jimmy: you've never done that before? >> i've never like depicted someone who lives -- >> jimmy: really? >> or doesn't. which, i thought was pressure. i never met her. until the premiere the other night. >> jimmy: was that strange? >> yeah. she was like, you got my hand movements down and everything. i was like, yeah, i was trying to get the hand movements down. whew. >> jimmy: really, very odd. was she under the impression you

had been spying on her? >> she is super great looking. i was flattered. >> jimmy: i think you probably both were. >> well, you know. >> jimmy: congratulations on the movie. and the baby. not necessarily in that order. and the magazine too. and lake bell everyone "million dollar arm." it opens may 16th. we'll be right back with pharell williams! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. but with our xfinity wireless gateway, you get more speed going out. first, without xfinity.

now xfinity. [ laughs ] that's my tablet. was your tablet. the x1 entertainment operating system. sign up for the xfinity x1 triple play and get double the speed. xfinity. the future of awesome.

>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. >> jimmy: i want to thank our guests kobe bryant, lake bell. i want to apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next, but first the album is called "girl," here's the song "marilyn monroe," pharell williams. ♪ ♪ how many girls like being different ♪ ♪ this one goes out to all the lovers what can we do we're helpless romantics ♪ ♪ we cannot help who we're attracted to so let's all dance and elevate each other ♪ ♪ dear diary it's happening again all that energy i'm about

to win ♪ ♪ i close my eyes and visions appear she's everything i want and it's crystal clear ♪ ♪ not even marilyn monroe marilyn monroe who cleopatra, please cleopatra please ♪ ♪ not even joan of arc joan of arc that don't mean nothin' to me just want a different girl ♪ ♪ girl girl girl girl girl can't another good boy keep it this thorough ♪ ♪ why why do i have to lie pretend make believe or hide her ♪ ♪ when i love what i've described but then again i don't need no adjectives for this girl ♪ ♪ dear diary it's happening again all that energy i'm about to win ♪

♪ i just close my eyes and visions appear she's everything i want and it's crystal clear ♪ >> i want so many of you girls to come up here right now! ♪ not even marilyn monroe marilyn monroe who cleopatra, please cleopatra please ♪ ♪ not even joan of arc joan of arc that don't mean nothin' to me just want a different girl ♪ ♪ girl girl girl girl girl what's wrong with that ♪ ♪ girl girl girl girl girl what's wrong with that ♪ ♪ can't keep another good boy keeping this girl ♪ ♪ you see we believe in difference, we believe that which makes you different makes you special ♪ ♪ if you feel special i want y'all to make some noise ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

♪ dear diary it's happening again all that energy i'm about to win ♪ ♪ i just close my eyes and visions appear she's everything i want and it's crystal clear ♪ ♪ not even marilyn monroe marilyn monroe who cleopatra please cleopatra please ♪ ♪ not even joan of arc joan of arc that don't mean nothin' to me just want a different girl ♪ ♪ ♪ what's wrong with that what's wrong with that what's wrong with that ♪ ♪ just want a different girl

♪ just because it's the middle of night that don't mean i won't hunt you down ♪ ♪ cause up in deep inside it's pullin' me and i want your love ♪ ♪ you and i should be gettin' it right ain't no sense in you holdin' on down ♪ ♪ if i can't have you nobody can this an animal's instinct that'll hunt you down ♪ ♪ so baby ooh-hoo my love is callin' ooh-hoo and baby ooh-hoo my love is callin' ooh-hoo ♪ ♪ hey baby ooh-hoo sex is callin' ooh-hoo hey baby ooh-hoo my love is callin' ooh-hoo ♪ ♪ i show my teeth and i hope you know that look in my eyes hey ♪ ♪ i got lightnin' speed i won't hesitate to rescue what is mine girl hey ♪ note well hold up baby what's going on tell the truth i wanna know ♪ ♪ what you're doin' when we go somethin' say you ain't alone ♪

♪ you say baby keep holdin' on what you mean i've been holdin' on ♪ ♪ i ain't ever smelled this before somethin' say it's time to go ♪ ♪ just because it's the middle of night that don't mean i won't hunt you down ♪ ♪ so baby ooh-hoo my love is callin' ooh-hoo and baby ooh-hoo my love is callin' ooh-hoo ♪ ♪ if i can't have you nobody can ♪ ♪ baby my love is calling to you ♪ ♪ hey baby my love is calling to you ♪ ♪ baby my love is calling to you ♪ ♪ hey baby my love is calling to you ♪ ♪ they got nothing on the female form ♪ ♪ the camouflage gets eaten by that myrrh raunl ♪

♪ well hold up baby what's going on ♪ ♪ what you doing when we go something say you ain't alone ♪ ♪ you say baby keep holdin' on what you mean i've been holdin' on ♪ ♪ i ain't ever smelled this before somethin' say it's time to go ♪ ♪ ♪ you can't be serious you are my girl ♪ ♪ baby my love is calling ♪ hey baby my loving calling ♪ hey baby ooh-hoo sex is callin' ooh-hoo hey baby ooh-hoo my love is callin' ooh-hoo ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

this is "nightline." tonight, there's road rage, and then there's this. how did an ordinary traffic dispute turn into an armed confrontation? >> said a couple of words, at what on like donkey kong. >> with more drivers than ever on the road this holiday weekend, some are going to extremes to get you out of their way. plus they put down big bucks for what was supposed to be the party of a lifetime. but all they got was this. >> we thought it was a joke. >> i couldn't believe it. >> more chasing down an accused party scammer. >> we want to talk about all those couples that are left scrambling now. these soldiers were days away from lea a