tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC June 2, 2014 11:35pm-12:38am PDT
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newscast is at 4:30 tomorrow morning which i won't be here. >> jimmy kim up next. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, dr. phil mcgraw, from espn, sage steele and music fro; mo with cleto and the cletones. and now, ready or not, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for joining me.
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it's good to be back. i sea it's good to be back because we were on vacation last week. every once in a while we do that. we have to. you know, we're working like an hour and a half a day here. every day. and it's exhausting. so i went fly-fishing in the bahamas to relax. i was fishing for what they call bone fish. it's the first time i ever did. usually i'll fish for trout. but bone fish are a lot stronger. when you catch them, they run like hell. which makes sense because if i got a random hook in my mouth when i was eating i would run like hell also. but when you hook them, you have to let them go. you have to let them run until they get tired. and then you reel them in and then they'll make another run for it, they run again and you let them go until they get tired, you reel them in, you keep doing that over and over again until they give up. it's the same philosophy i use when it comes to women. [ laughter ] wear them down. anyway, i'd never caught a bone fish before. so this is the first one i caught.
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nice, right? [ cheers and applause ] i was excited. so as soon as i got back i posted this picture to instagram. zoom in on some of the responses i got. first one being "isn't it hard to tan like, that you fruit?" [ laughter ] what else do we have? "do you really have to look weird to go fishing?" [ laughter ] "why are you dressed like an asian lady driving down the 10 freeway in a honda?" [ applause ] so i almost felt good about myself for like a second, but thank you, instagramers, for jumping on that and beating it down quickly. that's why dr. phil is here tonight, to help me through this. [ cheers and applause ] dr. phil has been here many times. something i didn't know. dr. phil, did you know, is a podiatrist. that's right. he's a foot doctor.
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isn't that something? he's going to examine everyone's feet here tonight. the clippers may have found themselves a new owner while we were away. but don't tell donald sterling. he doesn't know yet. on friday night the nba approved a bid made by former microsoft ceo steve ballmer to buy the team for $2 billion. he actually didn't even want to buy the team, but the law says if you have $2 billion laying around and your name has the word "ball" in it legally you have to. ballmer's bid still needs to be approved by the owners before it becomes official but that seems very likely. so get ready for free microsoft zune night at the staples center. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i have to say, i've lived in l.a. for 20 years and i used to do sports on the radio. it is amazing to me that someone would pay $2 billion for the clippers. i remember a time when you couldn't sell the clippers for a book of home depot carpet
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samples. but times have changed. and as new team owner steve ballmer has some pretty big shoes to fill. donald sterling, by the way, reacted by suing the nba for a billion dollars for forcing him to sell the team. and this is just incredible to me. yesterday he attended a two-hour service at the praise of zion baptist church. this is a predominantly african-american church here in l.a. apparently, the church's pastor invited him to come. and there he is. he showed up. he sat right in the front. which i wouldn't even do that in church. he waved to the congregation. hello, everyone. it's me, the racist guy. you're all invited to play on my imaginary basketball team. he's hugging people. he stayed through the whole service. then he left, he got into an suv, which is white, of course. [ laughter ] i tell you something, if i ran that church, i wouldn't let him leave until he put all $2 billion in the collection plate. i really wouldn't.
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one person that was there got up and left when he showed up. but other than that everyone was friendly. which i guess makes sense. in christianity the idea is to show forgiveness. but what i swornd why were there news cameras there? and also, isn't donald sterling jewish? so a lot of stuff to think over, really. [ laughter ] you know, unless donald sterling drops dead, mark my words, four years from now steve ballmer will be back in seattle doing whatever. the thing will still be in court. and that person will be excited. [ laughter ] hey, while we're talking about religion, over the past 48 hours the lord hath blessed us with not one but two episodes of "the bachelorette." last night and tonight bachelorette andi continued her quest for true love. she won't find it, but she's questing anyway. [ laughter ] if you've been watching the show this season you know they changed the format. they haven't had a lot of success with people getting married as a result of the show.
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this year the plan is to just pig pick a guy to get her pregnant and be done with it. [ laughter ] this is interesting. one of our producers here at the show, aaron, who's sitting right here, was looking at the contestant bios on the bachelorette website on abc.com. this is why we're so tired around here all the time. we're constantly researching and examining. you noticed something interesting. this is the bio for cody, one of the contestants. who looks ridiculous, by the way. [ laughter ] but along with his age, his occupation, his hometown, his height, they list cody's -- look at that. shoe size. 11. all right. so here's josh m. too. and you see all the facts on him. his shoe size is 13. now, why on earth would they list a man's shoe size in his -- [ laughter ] they wouldn't list shoe sizes with the female contestants of "the bachelor." but they do it for every single
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guy on "the bachelorette." why not just cut to the chase and make the guys get out of the limo naked? i mean, if you get a first impression rose, you get to put your pants on. by the way, i noticed something interesting about bachelorette andi. typically the bachelors and bachelorettes go nuts with the word "amazing." they'll say it, i don't know, 12, 15, 18 times a show. but andi is breaking that mold with her own very repeatable phrase. >> don't look good. >> i've been on the show before. >> stop it. >> a little country taste. >> stop it. >> pole ssh my first language. >> stop it. >> i'm a regular guy. >> stop. >> marshmallows over a volcano. >> stop. >> stop it. >> you make me nervous. like you give me that -- >> stop. >> stop. >> my dad actually hitchhiked around the united states. >> stop. >> when he was my younger brother married. three kids. >> stop. >> ended up having a -- >> stop. >> ironically, she can't stop.
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[ applause ] stop. stop. stop. can you stop? that could be a fun drinking game, though, right? [ laughter ] speaking of drinking games, toronto mayor rob ford is getting ready to make a comeback. he told a reporter from the "toronto sun" over the weekend he's planning to leave rehab on june 30th to get back to work on his re-election campaign, and there's a new photo of the mayor that seems to indicate he's doing well. that is rob ford. and what's believed to be the pool at the rehab facility. and those are his nipples. those are his breasts right there. by the way, father's day is coming up. and if my kids are watching, i'd love this printed on a mug. a pretty great way to work -- stop. come on. [ laughter ] this is fun. this is from -- [ applause ] stop. are we going to do this all
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night? stop. stop it. this is from sky news in london, i believe. reporter named john craig was covering the elections for parliament last week, and he treated us to a rare international edition of excellence in reporting. ♪ >> it was always scheduled for immediately after the european elections but now has assumed -- oh, [ bleep ] hell. >> we do apologize for that. >> jimmy: we do too. [ applause ] big ben. even the f word sounds classy over there. last night was a great night on tv. on hbo there's a crazy episode of "game of thrones." i know a lot of you were on vacation. i don't want goif the ending away but i will say it contained one of the most disturbing sounds i've ever heard on television. even worse than when the nanny would laugh.
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[ laughter ] yeah. and if that wasn't enough violence for you, one of the greatest hockey playoff series games i've ever seen. the l.a. kings pulled off -- [ applause ] -- yet another game 7 miracle on the road to beat chicago blackhawks. and now they will play the new york rangers in the stanley cup finals. they came back to win 5-4 in overtime. as you can imagine, when they scored the game-winning goal, the kings' bench went nuts. but no one went more nuts than the kings' great defenseman drew doughty. drew you will see is over on the far right of your screen pounding the wall. and then whoa. let's look at that closer up because it's funnier. now, you see here he pounds the wall. and then he -- you know, he had too many anyway. good luck to the kings. that's going to be a fun series. you know, we came up with -- how are you doing, guillermo? i heard you were sick. >> yeah. for like nine days. >> jimmy: nine days? you were sick the whole break? >> yes.
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>> jimmy: what's wrong with you? >> well, i have fever, stomach problems, everything. >> jimmy: were you able to eat? >> oh, yeah. [ laughter ] i still eat. >> jimmy: i noticed on twitter you kept saying you wanted pizza. >> yeah. thp(lease.wife go get me >> jimmy: did she get you pizza? >> yes. >> jimmy: did that make you feel better? >> well, yeah. >> jimmy: anyway, we came up with a new game today, and i want to share it with you. it's called "don't talk into the mike" and win $10. here's how it works. we hold the microphone up to a person on the street's face. we tell them not to talk into it. and if they don't talk into it they win $10. which is why it's called "don't talk into the mike and win $10." do you understand the concept here? all right. well, let's see how people did. >> it's a game called "don't talk into this mike and win $10." >> okay. [ buzzer ] >> you lost it. sorry about that. >> don't speak into this mike and win $10. >> don't speak into the --
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[ buzzer ]. >> sorry about that. >> don't speak into this mike. win $10. snok. >> don't speak into -- [ buzzer ]. >> yes. and you lost. >> i just lost $10. [ bleep ]. >> don't speak into the mike and win $10. do you want to play? >> i want to play -- [ buzzer ]. oh. >> you were going to spend it on weed, right? >> yeah. >> don't speak into the sxhiek win $10. >> don't speak into the mike? brabl [ buzzer ] >> you just lost $10. i said don't speak into the mike and you spoke into the mike. it's too late. you want to play again? >> yeah. go again. [ buzzer ] >> don't talk into this mike and win $10. here you go. >> sweet. thanks. [ applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the show
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today, the deficits are gone and we've invested an additional 2 billion dollars in education. now john perez is running for controller, to keep fighting for balanced budgets. democrat john perez for controller. rocket science? not simple. brain surgery? not really. online shopping? should be simple. but it's not. filling out your shipping address, billing address, card number, expiration date... typing and retyping each time you pay... not simple. when you pay securely with paypal, you're done in a few clicks. that's fast - even if you're a really slow clicker. it's not calculus - but it's pretty smart.
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right here. my parents were immigrants. and they taught me that with hard work, anything is possible. i earned a scholarship to mit. and worked across party lines to get things done. i'm alex padilla. i'll protect voting rights for everyone. and make it easier to start a business. so we create jobs and opportunity for all californians. what should we order? (announcer) alex padilla. secretary of state.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. tonight on this program, starting on thursday she presides over the finals edition of "nba countdown." sage steele is here with us. and then with music from this album called "no mythologies to follow" mo from the at&t stage. now, her name is spelled with an m and then an o with a slash through it. it's pronounced moo. it's a danish name that means "impossible to google search." tomorrow night tom cruise will be here, alyssa milano will be with us, and we'll have music from boyz ii men. and we have two shows for you on thursday, including jimmy kimmel live game night in primetime alongside game 1 of the nba finals. we'll be joined by martin
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lawrence and i'm going to go one on one against stephen curry of the golden state warriors in basketball. that's right. that airs at 8:00 eastern, 7:00 central, and post-game on the west coast. [ cheers and applause ] i should mention that thanks to one of our audience members tonight everyone goes home with a doorknob. [ cheers and applause ] doors not included. if you are in a bitter custody battle with a controlling boyfriend whose obsession with strippers who look like beyoncé is tearing your family apart, our first guest has a tanker of tough texas talk for you. he makes our simple lives even simpler every weekday in syndication, please welcome dr. phil mcgraw. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> don't you know these people are pissed. >> jimmy: who's pissed? >> you just said tomorrow night tom cruise and they get me. [ laughter ] they come here at night and they get me. thanks for bringing that up. >> jimmy: well, they're here for therapy, dr. phil. and tom doesn't like that sort of thing. so it's good to see you. you know this is your 14th time on the show. >> is that right? >> jimmy: that's right. i thought i'd be cured by now. i thought i would be much better mentally by now. but i'm not. >> you're going to have to come up with new insults being here 14 times. >> jimmy: i don't think of them as insults. i think of them as comments. they're not insults. >> i have a question. did you hear that you're just getting ready to have a baby? >> jimmy: yes, i am. well, my wife is going to this time. [ cheers and applause ] >> this is your first.
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>> jimmy: no. i have two children. i have a 22-year-old daughter and a 20-year-old son. and this is my -- this will be my third. >> wait a minute. what? >> jimmy: yeah, i do. >> you've got all the way through raising two and then went back in the barrel? >> jimmy: why do i feel like i'm a patient on your show all of a sudden? [ laughter ] you think that's a mistake? >> idiot. [ laughter ] listen, you got two raised completely. got them out. >> jimmy: yes. >> cash flowing, on their own? >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> huh, huh, huh. [ laughter ] and then you thought put me back in, coach. holy [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: it's not making me feel any better about this, dr. phil. >> what did you decide not to do that day? >> jimmy: i'm just -- i'm very fertile. >> right. >> jimmy: and that's what happens. >> why do i feel dirty all of a sudden? >> jimmy: you get close enough i
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could potentially impregnate you. >> so when is it due? >> jimmy: the baby? >> yes. >> jimmy: well, it's due next month but i don't want to say exactly. >> really? i assume you want me in the delivery room. >> jimmy: you know what? i'd love for my child -- the first face for my child to e. and i'd ask if you would not wear a mask too so the kid really knows who you are. we don't know the sex of the baby either. >> really? you really don't? >> jimmy: really don't. honestly. >> does your wife know? >> jimmy: she dunce know. >> she's not telling you. >> jimmy: no, she doesn't know. i've gone to the sonograms with her, and we make sure that we don't know. which i guess if it's a boy is a bad sign. >> i know. >> jimmy: you know what the sex of the baby is? >> i know. >> jimmy: well, tell me and we'll see if you're right. >> i'm not telling you. no, it's a boy. >> jimmy: how do you know that? >> i just know. >> jimmy: can i tell you something? i was in target yesterday and i thought i kind of hope it's a boy because the toys are so much
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better. [ laughter ] they really are. they have a spider-man where the eyes light up. >> what were you doing in target yesterday? >> jimmy: i was shopping. why, do you think that's beneath me, dr. phil? >> no. i'm just surprised to hear you out looking for boy toys. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what do i have to do to make sure my kid never winds up on your show? >> it's too late. [ laughter ] because i'm not going away. i'm going to wait till he gets there. >> jimmy: are you shooting right now? >> no. well, we've wrapped our season on the studio set at paramount. but we have a satellite studio where if something pops up that just begs for my attention then we crank that up and shoot at our satellites. that's what we did, we just shot with v. stiviano. >> jimmy: right. yes. >> you might have -- >> jimmy: i loved that because i didn't realize you were off for the summer and then you had to come back off of vacation to
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show with v. stiviano. that must make you furious. >> well, i found it very interesting, actually. >> jimmy: i found it interesting, too. the whole -- >> come on. only in hollywood, right? >> jimmy: well, maybe a few other places. but yeah. >> i mean, only in hollywood do you become a whistleblower, out your sugar daddy-k and then you go skating around in daisy dukes with a welder's helmet on. really? i mean, who thinks of this? >> jimmy: and then you make the mistake of going to talk about it with dr. phil. >> i'm not sure that was a mistake, but i think -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: for you it wasn't. >> i thought we brought some clarity to the issues. >> jimmy: you did? >> i thought we did. >> jimmy: i don't think you did. i thought you brought less clarity to the issues. i think you asked her the questions that were reasonable to ask, but i still don't understand what's going on with this person. >> well, i don't understand why she would blow up her sugar
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daddy. i mean, the guy gave her two bentleys. >> jimmy: right. >> a ferrari. a range rover. and a $1.8 million condo. and she rats his ass out. >> jimmy: well, you think maybe she was taking a stand against racism? >> i don't think so. [ laughter ] i don't think so. it just seemed odd to me. >> jimmy: well, the whole thing is very odd. >> and she said no romantic involvement at all. i mean, four cars and a house? how fast can you type? i mean -- >> jimmy: yeah, really. have you attempted to get donald sterling on your show? >> i would be happy to talk to donald sterling. >> jimmy: have you asked donald? >> i've not personally asked him. >> jimmy: have your people inquired about his availability? >> i suspect they have. but they don't tell me until somebody's like sitting in the chair. >> jimmy: i see. so they don't tell you if he passed or -- >> they don't want me to get all lathered up. >> jimmy: you would i would imagine be very eager to talk to him. >> i would be eager to talk to
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him. >> jimmy: you think you could help him? >> i would start by doing a mental status exam because i really wonder if he has all of his faculties. >> jimmy: well, they seem to be spreading that one around lately. i guess it's reasonable to think maybe he doesn't. but it also maybe seems a little bit like klinger on "mash" to me. >> well, it's like let the healing begin kind of thing. >> jimmy: well, i guess if we say he's got alzheimer's or he's demented or something like that, that we should be i guess easier on him for this. >> well, if that was true, i suppose that would be right. i just don't know if that's true or not. that's why i said i'd like to do a mental status exam. >> jimmy: do you think you could t tell if he was faking it? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: how would you do that? >> i'm doing it right now. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no electricity involved? >> i'm checking you out as we go. >> jimmy: is that something you would do in working with the court? >> oh, yeah. we did it all the time to determine sanity or insanity or whatever. it wasn't my first job, but it
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was one of my jobs back before i had this job. >> jimmy: you really feel like you're able to determine that. what if people are faking and they're good at it? >> there are people who are faking and they're good at it. but they're not good enough. i'll tell you why. because there are some things that are not logical that they don't know. and so you see them run some logic traps that they don't know, and then they out themselves. >> jimmy: i want to ask you a question. we'll take a quick break. when we come back, i noticed in the summertime that it seems that people in this neighborhood at least get crazier. >> yes. >> jimmy: and i want to find out if there's anything medically to that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: dr. phil is here. he's going to help us all, everybody. we'll be right back. >> portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by coors light. reminding you that responsible drinking always has its rewards.
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oh, he doesn't know anything about tools. aflac-ac-ac-ac-ac-ac-ac! but when i broke my arm, he lent a hand. he paid my claim in just four days. four days? wow! find out how fast aflac can pay you at aflac.com. better. be so tunnel vision but to actually spread love, and receive love, and to give love. volunteering is part of our core values at target. we put a lot of emphasis on it and we believe in giving back to the community. i'm a store team leader for target. every little step counts but it has to come from the heart and a day like this as just a reminder of why we do what we do. people really do care, and people really do help you and give back. oh it feels good, it's a real good, it's a great experience. i'm looking forward to seeing the kids. this isn't just one thing that we do this is constant. my team is out somewhere in the community every month.
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. still to come sage steele and music from mo. dr. phil, i was asking you a moment ago about not -- maybe not just particularly in hollywood, but it seems like in the summertime people get crazier. >> no, they don't get crazier. they just come out. i mean, all winter they're that crazy. they're just shut up in the house like playing in their own [ bleep ] or something. [ laughter ] you do have a seven-second button, don't you? >> jimmy: something like that. you'll be bleeped. >> by the way, have you ever noticed like on the show "cops" you know, they only shoot that in the summer. >> jimmy: is that true? >> you know the show "cops." >> jimmy: yeah. >> you guys have seen it. they only shoot it in the summer because that's when people get really big stupid. what really amazes me about that show is every show the cops go in a house and there's some guy in the back bedroom sitting on the bed with a t-shirt or no
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shirt and he looks up and he's not the least bit surprised that there's a s.w.a.t. team in the bedroom. [ laughter ] it happens on every show. i think it might be the same guy. [ laughter ] they just get out in the summer. they just go out because i mean, it feels good to be outside. >> jimmy: oh, yeah yes. it's just a weather thing. it's weird. >> that's why they shoot that only in the summer. >> jimmy: wow. that's fascinating. what about intersections? i've noticed that the percentage of crazy people at intersections is very high. i see a lot of people on bicycles but not actually riding them. what's going on with that? >> you know, that's true. >> jimmy: right? >> that's true. i don't know. why are they lurking around there? >> jimmy: i don't know. but you should do a whole show from an intersection. >> we should dress up and hang around an intersection one day and find out why they're there. >> jimmy: are you asking me to dress up and hang around an intersection with you? >> i am. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: sounds like something a guest on your show would do.
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>> well, we could try it. >> jimmy: and you'd yell at them for it. i'd like to go over some of the topics you've had on the show since you were here last. "i did not try to blind my wife." >> right. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: my head butting, punching, kicking, bruising, knife-wielding 8-year-old." >> charm young man. >> jimmy: when they say knife wielding, can't they just take the knife away from the kid? i assume it's a boy. >> well, if you'd seen this kid, you wouldn't ask that. >> jimmy: really? >> i mean, we're talking damian. >> jimmy: do you ever feel threatened by the guests? >> not really. i move like a cat. [ laughter ] garfield the cat. but i move like a cat. >> jimmy: do you ever when the producers come to you, and i would imagine you've been on for a long time now, that you start the topics maybe start to get a little bit nuttier, and do you ever reject any of the guest ideas?
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>> i wouldn't call them nutty. and i certainly wouldn't call them nut ayer. >> jimmy: everyone besides you would. and you even in private would cut them nutty. but since we're on tv you're saying they're not nutty. >> you don't know that for sure. >> jimmy: well, you know what? i've done a psychological evaluation of you, and i'm pretty sure. [ laughter ] >> if you're willing to bet on it? i could pitch things that i don't do. >> jimmy: like what? >> well, there have really been a few days that i did that i wished i hadn't done. >> jimmy: i see. what did you do? >> sometimes they say, look, we can't be serious every day, we have to lighten things up. so we have a guy that thinks he's a dog. and he's serious. he lives his life as a dog. he eats dog food out of a bowl. he wears dog ears. i guess he goes out in the yard. >> jimmy: this was not snoop dogg, was it? [ laughter ] >> no, this was not snoop dogg.
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and we had the guy on and i'm like -- >> jimmy: you have no tolerance for that. >> and then we had an adult baby on. a guy who was an adult baby who actually was dating a very attractive young woman who changed his diapers every day. and i just said, you know, i did not go to school for 15 years to be talking about this on television. >> jimmy: human baby and a dog. >> i swear, if i could erase those from the vault. these are two shows you could take out of the vault, it would be those two. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. some of these -- oh, no. guys, don't feel -- guys. it's nothing against you personally. [ applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. that baby has a lot of tattoos. well, dr. phil, i -- >> i feel so set up. >> jimmy: it is always a pleasure to have you here. whatever it is you're doing,
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keep at it. >> listen, i'm just happy to be a target. >> jimmy: dr. phil mcgraw, everybody. "dr. phil" airs weekdays in syndication. we'll be right back. >> the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. [ female announcer ] you never know what might be out there. the ambulance racing by you. the ambulance chaser... chasing the ambulance. a rollerblader with headphones who's oblivious to everything. the cab driver who's checking out the rollerblader. it's 360 degrees of chaos out there. but with driver-assist technology, including a blind spot system and a rear-view camera, the ford fusion will help tell you when it's coming. ♪
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and that's epic, bro, we've forgotten just how good good is. good is setting a personal best before going for a world record. good is swinging to get on base before swinging for a home run. [ crowd cheering ] good is choosing not to overshoot the moon, but to land right on it and do some experiments. ♪ so start your day off good with a coffee that's good cup after cup. maxwell house. ♪ good to the last drop maxwell house. honestly, the off-season isn't i've got a lot to do. that's why i got my surface. it's great for watching game film and drawing up plays. it's got onenote, so i can stay on top of my to-do list,
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which has been absolutely absurd since the big game. with skype, it's just really easy to stay in touch with the kids i work with. alright, russell you are good to go! alright, fellas. alright, russ. back to work! your education is built to help move your career forward. here's how: we work with leading employers to learn what you need to learn so classes impact your career. while helping ensure credits you've already earned pay off. and we have career planning tools to keep you on track every step of the way. plus the freshman fifteen, isn't really a thing here. and graduation, it's just the beginning. because we build education around where you want to go. so, you know, you can get the job you want. ready, let's get to work.
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hi, everybody, and welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live." it is halftime. i'm here with dr. phil. dr. phil, how do you think that interview went with jimmy? >> you know, i think it went okay out there. i mean, i felt like he was a little slow in the beginning [ laughter ] and you know, one log won't burn. but i felt like i pulled it along okay. >> do you think it helped you or brothered you to answer the questions for jimmy? >> i think it helps because he can't see if i'm really nashing my teeth. it's a good cover-up. >> jimmy seems to like you. do you like jimmy? >> well, i asked him to hang out at an intersection with me. i mean, what do you want from me? i mean, come on. i'm out of here. got to go. >> all right. thank you, dr. phil. back to you, jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, guillermo. we'll be right back with sage steele. [ cheers and applause ]
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she chose the former. that worked out pretty well. you can watch her on "nba countdown" all through the finals starting thursday night here on abc. please say hello to sage steele. [ cheers and applause ] >> hi. >> jimmy: hi, how are you? i don't know if i've ever met a person named sage before. >> is that a good thing or a bad? >> jimmy: well, i think it's a nice name. are you named after wisdom or -- >> my dad had been drinking. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: for real? >> no, really. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> he was a great man. we're past that. military. military dad. retired army colonel. back in the day we were stationed at the canal zone, panama. >> jimmy: wow. >> dads weren't allowed upstairs in the delivery room at that time back in 1972. so he's pacing the kitchenette
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area downstairs in the basement. i know. i told you it's not sexy. the basement of the kitchen. and there was this like wallpaper with parsley, sage, rosemary, salt, thyme, paprika. like i could have been paprika. [ laughter ] this is definitely the lesser of many evils. and then he went upstairs and he said, mona, i've got the name. and he said, sage. and she's like, what the hell -- who names their kid sage? and then she was on drugs and she agreed to it. [ laughter ] i told you, it's not sexy. >> jimmy: it's a good name, though. and it sounds strong. sage steele. >> well, i've been asked if it's my stage name, of course, but also my porn name. >> jimmy: oh, you have. >> yeah. but i have three kids, and i thought i'll wait to do that career after they're off to college. >> jimmy: your twilight years. that's really when you want to get into it. [ laughter ] >> yes. >> jimmy: did you start your career in sports? is that where you began? >> that was the plan. nobody wanted me initially in
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sports. south bend, indiana covering school board meetings and murder-suicides and traffic accidents. and let's not go outside in the blinding driving snowstorm, which is what i'm doing telling you not to. let's see how long it takes for the water to freeze over. and i was on the roof. yeah. and then eventually got on in indianapolis, where i had interned before. so went there at age 24, 25-ish. >> jimmy: so when you're an attractive 24, 25-ish woman and you're interviewing athletes, do they make it hard on you? i would imagine it is hard on you. >> i'd color my hair every three weeks. i'm completely gray. and it began because of locker room experiences. people make a lost money off of coloring my hair, and it began with these athletes. >> jimmy: who specifically was -- anyone -- >> i was going to try to be generic. & say -- >> jimmy: oh, no. let's go specific instead of
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generic. >> where's my drink? then i'll tell you everything. what's in it? it's just water. >> jimmy: your father left it. we don't know what's in it. [ laughter ] >> i'm sorry, dad. >> jimmy: it might be rubbing alcohol. i'm not sure. >> specifically it was later, went from indianapolis to tampa. brand new literally right out of training cam. and i'd come from indianapolis and walked into the locker room. and i was young and scared and trying to, you know, impress. i'm a journalist, i'm here, all business. and warren sapp. do you know warren sapp? >> jimmy: yeah. as a matter of fact, he was on my first show here, warren sapp. yeah. >> god i lolove him. >> jimmy: what did he do? >> he called me over. and idiot i was i walked over. with my photographer, trusty photographer. sxint deuced himself. i introduced myself. he said where are you from? i said i moved here from indianapol indianapolis. he goes, "i could tell." i go, what do you mean? i'm an army brat. i have no accent. i don't probably fit most indiana stereotypes.
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i don't know. and so he said, i'm not going to tell you. i'm going to make you wait. wait till our bye week. which is like week 8 and this is our preseason. i'm like how the heck does he know i'm from indiana? so of course week 8 right into the locker room i said you promised me. he said it's very easy because all women from indianapolis in that town wear granny panties. i didn't even know what granny panties were. and my photographer's like, come here. >> jimmy: were you wearing them? >> apparently. i was. i mean, what i need to do is i need to thank warren sapp for being that obnoxious because i went shopping and i've evolved. >> jimmy: oh. because of warren sapp you no longer wear granny panties. >> that sounds terrible. that sounds terrible. no, but i mean, overall that's the thing i tried to preach to young women trying to get into the the business -- >> jimmy: wear thong underwear.
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>> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm sorry. i missed the message. >> i was warned about you. no, we try to -- you don't date athletes-u don't date coaches. you're in there to be a journalist, and then every once in a while you get -- but i think the key for me was to get pregnant. but wait. by my husband. not by -- >> jimmy: not by the team. >> i am not doing well here. >> jimmy: have pregnant people zm changed? >> my first boyfriend, college boydfriend, let's backtrack before i totally throw myself out there. i had three kids while covering the baltimore ravens and truly it was interesting before and once you get noktd up they have no interest. they don't want to be near you. it's perfect. so the old-fashioned way, married, have kids, yes, but once you do that they want nothing to do with you. it's perfect. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it seems like an extreme measure to take to avoid being sexually harassed. but whatever works.
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>> not the reason why i did. but it didn't hurt. >> jimmy: sow mentioned simmons, bill simmons, who's one of your -- what do you call him? you're the host. so what are they? >> they're the analysts. expert analysts. >> jimmy: jalen rose is one of the analysts. and you've got these guys that you're kind of -- you're running the show to make sure you're in and out on time. is that difficult with a live broadcast? >> it's difficult, yes, because it's live. but i thrive live. i prefer live than anything taped with that kind of show. but it's difficult because i've got three guys who are really, really smart and love what they're doing and want to talk. and so it's hard to make sure everybody gets their -- the key to me is to make it conversational, which is easier said than done with three guys on the set. i try to jump in there but it's not about me. that's how it's supposed to be. but it is tough because these guys are really good in different ways. jalen is a player. doug is a player and a coach. the encyclopedia i call him,
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he's such a historian with basketball. it's tough to get it all in. >> jimmy: well, you're doing a great job. congratulations. >> thank you. >> jimmy: sage steele, everybody. watch "nba countdown" throughout the nba finals. starts thursday night here on abc. we'll be right back with music from mo. ♪ >> the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. count these days. feway undr that's why they have lots of ways for you to save. real big club card deals, the safeway app and gas rewards.
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the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank dr. phil. i want to thank sage steele. i want to apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next. but first, this is her album. it's called "no mythologies to follow." here with the song "pilgrim" -- mo! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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this is "nightline." tonight, saving private bergdahl. >> behind the patrol. >> america's only prisoner of war, rescued. but at what cost? fellow soldiers accuse him of being a deserter. >> people calling him a hero and this great soldier, and it's a spit in the face -- >> and now five taliban leaders are free in his place. >> he deserted us in the middle of afghanistan to go and find the taliban. plus, move over hollywood. these youtube stars could be the next a-listers. from internet chefs to young fashionistas. i've got obsessive fans. and now they're making millions.
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