>> and right now on jimmy kimmle, shea lean woodly. thank you for your time. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! [ cheers and applause ] tonight -- shailene woodley. from "million dollar arm," aasif mandvi. patton oswalt. and music from iggy azalea. and now tonight's the night -- ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. i'm jimmy. i am the host of the show. thank you for coming. thank you for watching at home.

this is -- i've been observing you from backstage, and this group here tonight, you are definitely among my top ten sweatiest audiences ever. very, very hot in southern california right now. and not just because we have the best publicist. it got up to 101 degrees in hollywood today, although with the windchill, it was only the 8 degrees. you know, they never add the windchill in when it's hot, do they? things are especially bad in san diego. actually go through life and you think you've heard of every kind of weather condition. then all of a sudden out of nowhere you get like there's a polar vortex, there's thundersnow. well, folks, i'm about to introduce you to a new one. maybe it's just new to me. i haven't heard of it. but here in southern california today we premiered what i think is the first ever firenado. that is nothing to laugh about. it's kind of like a sharknado but instead of sharks in the nado, there's fire. [ laughter ]

and if that isn't the work of satan, i don't know what is. i'll tell you. the fires are so bad, they even had to evacuate legoland. before we show this, i want to warn you, the images you are about to see are disturbing. so if there are young children in the room -- [ laughter ] this is a live feed of what's happening right now at legoland, so at least he went out smiling though, right? since it is so hot here in hollywood today, i thought it would be nice to give some of the pedestrians who are suffering outside our building a chance to cool down. so, let's go outside now to my cousin sal, who is on hollywood boulevard. hello, cousin sal. >> hey, jimmy, what's happening? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: sal grabbed a couple people off the street. who should we start with, sal? >> how about this young lady? >> jimmy: what is your name? >> alicia. >> jimmy: and where are you from, alicia? >> boston, massachusetts. >> jimmy: and were you expecting warm weather when you came out here? >> i actually live here, so i was expecting it. >> oh, snap. >> jimmy: okay. so -- >> oh, snap.

got you. >> jimmy: who else? what's your name? >> nicole. >> jimmy: nicole, are you from here, too? >> no, i'm from boston, massachusetts. >> jimmy: where do you live? >> i live in boston. >> jimmy: oh. i'm already con -- do you know, the heat has got people crazy. but it is hot out there. you will agree to that? >> yes. >> jimmy: all right. very good. now, sal has something to help you guys cool down. and, yes, there it is. hoses. are you ready to hose each other? >> we're ready. >> jimmy: all right. here we go. sal, count them down. >> 20, 19 -- 3, 2, 1. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: two winners. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: we have two winners. wow. well done. that was much better than i expected this to be. well, thank you, ladies. i hope that makes you feel a lot more refreshed. >> yeah. definitely cooler. >> jimmy: okay, good. >> thank you, jimmy. >> jimmy: give our best to everyone back home, wherever you live. we're still not sure. all right, sal, find some more hosees, and we'll do it again, all right? [ applause ] we're also right now dealing with another strange environmental issue, in atwater village, which is only about six miles from here, an oil pipeline burst at around midnight last night and shot more than 10,000 gallons of crude oil 20 feet into the air. the streets are flooded with oil. it's like the opening to "the beverly hillbillies" in atwater village. they had to bring our hollywood boulevard spongebob in to sop -- that's how bad it was. so, a number of businesses around the spill were affected including a strip joint called the gentleman's club. they had to evacuate the

strip -- imagine how freaked out those guys got when the emergency workers charged in in the middle of a lap dance. now, being surrounded by knee-deep oil would put most businesses out. but not at the gentleman's club. >> gentlemen, don't let a little oil spill ruin your night. strap on your galoshes and slide on in to the gentleman's club, atwater village's premiere strip club. our girls won't let slippery poles stop them. here's tonight's line-up. >> give it up for diesel! octane! heavy. and viscosity. she's fracking hot! >> and don't forget, our free all-you-can-eat chicken buffet. the gentlemen's club on the corner of san fernando and broadway. >> absolutely no smoking. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right, so happy belated birthday, everybody. all right, let's go back out to hollywood boulevard. all right. who are these gentlemen? what's your name? >> johan.

>> jimmy: johan, where are you from? >> trinidad and tobago. >> jimmy: okay. both places. that's great. and who's this guy over here? >> i'm dan. >> jimmy: dan, where are you from? >> san diego. >> jimmy: you guys know each other? >> yeah. yeah, we work together. >> jimmy: okay. you do. great. are you ready to cool each other down? >> i think so. >> jimmy: make it sexy like the last ones. [ laughter ] do it now while sal's still -- >> three, two, one. >> jimmy: wow. ♪ it's not wrestling. guys. wow, that got -- that got quite a bit more physical than i imagined it would. all right. very good. by the way, i want to point out that we're in the middle of a drought, and none of this water's being wasted. all the water will be recycled into smoothies, so -- hey, guys, can you power-wash spider-man while you're out there? >> we'll find him. >> jimmy: all right. tomorrow is barbara walters' last day hosting "the view"

after 53 years in broadcasting, barbara is retiring. and this morning they had a special show to send her off. they brought back all 11 former and current co-hosts of "the view." there were no survivors. the guests included meredith vieira, star jones, joy behar, lisa ling, elisabeth hasselbeck, and rosie o'donnell and debbie matenopoulos. it was like an all-star boniva commercial. [ laughter ] and barbara was -- she was very fake happy to see them. she really was. [ laughter ] best wishes to barbara. and watch her tomorrow on "the view." you know, there's a new development in that mma fight that broke out between solange knowles and jay z in an elevator. they addressed the incident today in a joint statement. they said they were both to blame for the fight, and they've moved on. unfortunately, i haven't. i still want to know what they're fighting about. by the way, the standard hotel in new york announced that they fired the employee who leaked the security camera footage. but don't feel bad for that person because they're rumored to have been paid $250,000 for

that video by tmz. so let that be a lesson to every low-wage hotel security guard out there. [ cheers and applause ] i think the lesson is, make sure your phone is charged before you come to work. i don't know how many of you have been following the idaho governor's race. but for those who haven't, i'll catch you up quickly. the two main candidates are state senator russ fulcher and current idaho governor butch otter. last night they had a debate. and for some reason, governor otter insisted the debate be opened to fringe candidates too, and one of the fringe candidates absolutely stole the show. he's a biker named harley brown, and he had a lot of interesting thoughts on a number of issues. in some ways harley is very conservative, but in other ways he is not. >> okay. discrimination. i used to drive taxis in boise for 20 years at night. and i've picked up my fair share of the gay community, and they

have true love for one another. i'm telling you, they love each other more than i love my motorcycle. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that even possible? i -- [ applause ] it gets better. i am personally enjoying any political candidate who is missing important teeth. but where harley brown shined most brightly was during his closing statement where he really opened up wide. >> after god told me he was going to make me president, i went out and got the presidential seal tattooed right here on my shoulder. my morale went from negative 500 off the scale, and i started a presidential campaign right there. i'm a type aa-plus guy. and i was living in fat jack's cellar because my ex-wife had given me trumped-up -- some restraining orders, i couldn't see my kids. it was a mess. fat jack's old lady, fat jack's wife said, get this lunatic out of my cellar. he started a presidential campaign. i'm getting calls from the media.

so i went to work in the little league as a governor. you have your choice, folks, a cowboy, a curmudgeon, a biker, or a normal guy. take your pick. thank you very much. we're leaving it up to you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm sold. i'll take the normal guy for 400, alex. we've got to keep an eye on him. by the way, you know who he reminds me of? put his picture back up on the screen. now, run it through the crazy politician machine. and you'll see that's -- it's rob ford. we found rob ford. he's running for governor of idaho. it'll take more than a goatee and a neck beard to hide that beautiful beet red face from me. speaking of people who have crazy in their mouth, part two of anderson cooper's interview with clippers owner donald sterling aired last night. it was just as nutty as part one. he still goes back and forth about v. stiviano. one minute he loves her. the next minute he doesn't. she did the same thing when she spoke about him.

it's a classic love story. a romance between a wealthy team owner and an opportunistic young woman. not since the movie "jerry maguire" has a sports related relationship tugged at my heartstrings like this. tonight i thought it would make sense to give their romance the "jerry maguire" treatment, and i present that to you now. >> i met her at the super bowl and two months later, this girl's in my office, and she says, i couldn't stop thinking about you for two months since the super bowl. she says, i want to be your friend. i said, i don't need any friends. so she takes me into a room, and she does her thing, and she says, well, what do you i? do you think you need a friend? >> i'm mr. sterling's everything. ♪ you come knocking late at night ♪ >> she was an animal. >> i'm his silly rabbit. i'm mr. sterling's right-hand

arm man. >> she's got a fabulous body, and she loves to have sex. >> i'm his best friend. ♪ there's a secret garden >> but this chick is something else. i'm telling you, she was hot. it took maybe an hour to get there, but it was hot. >> i love him. >> i made such a mistake. [ applause ] >> jimmy: love is never a mistake. never a mistake. [ cheers and applause ] oh, one more thing, you know, the australian rapper iggy azalea is here with us tonight on the show. [ cheers and applause ] she has a -- she has a very big hit song called "fancy." it's very catchy, but if you're an older person, it might be hard to follow the lyrics.

so tonight i'm going to help translate those lyrics. in fact, it's time now to decipher new lyrics for old people. to help us, please welcome iggy azalea. iggy! [ cheers and applause ] hello. how are you doing? thank you for coming. welcome, welcome. so, thank you for helping us with this important project. >> my pleasure. >> jimmy: shall we hash this thing out? >> i think we should. >> jimmy: you know how this works. you'll say a couple lines, and then i will explain -- >> translate for me. >> jimmy: here we go. iggy azalea with the words to "fancy." >> first things first, i'm the realest. drop this and let the whole world feel it. >> jimmy: that means i'm the most authentic person you'll ever meet, and now i'm going to share that with everyone through song. >> exactly. and i'm still in the murder business, i can hold you down. like i'm giving lessons in physics. >> jimmy: i kill people professionally, and i -- i'm not sure what giving lessons in physics means.

>> that's basically just my aspirations to be a teacher after my rap career. >> jimmy: oh, that's nice. educational. >> yeah. i'm getting it in early. on my resume. >> jimmy: all right, well, continue. >> next up, you should want a bad bitch like this. >> jimmy: i'm mean, but you should like me. >> drop it low and pick it up just like this. >> jimmy: i lower my bottom and raise it back up in a provocative manner. >> cup of ace, cup of goose, cup of cris. >> jimmy: i have a drinking problem. >> high heels, something worth a half a ticket on my wrist. that's tough. >> jimmy: i wear uncomfortable shoes and very expensive jewelry. >> exactly. you could be a rapper. >> jimmy: thank you. >> taking all the liquor straight, never chase that. >> jimmy: again, drinking problem. >> fair enough. rooftop like we bringing 88 back. >> jimmy: now, were you even alive in 1988? >> not even close. >> jimmy: okay. now, you know what song was popular in 1988?

>> tell me. >> jimmy: "get out of my dreams and into my car" by billy ocean. now, you know that song? >> we should not go back to that. >> jimmy: we should never go back to 1988. >> that was in the past. let me continue. >> jimmy: yes, continue. >> bring the hooks in where the bass at. >> jimmy: i will destroy my hearing and enjoy it. >> champagne spilling, you should taste that. >> jimmy: i'm clumsy, clean up after me. [ laughter ] >> i'm so fancy, yo[5"z2&ñqv

iggy. from "million dollar arm" aasif mandvi. we'll be right back with shailene woodley. she's about to explode. ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the program, you know him from "the daily show," and starting tomorrow you can see him paired up with jon hamm in the movie "million dollar arm." aasif mandvi is here with us tonight, and then you will see her at the billboard music awards on sunday right here on abc. this is her album. it's called "the new classic." iggy azalea from the at&t outdoor stage. [ cheers and applause ] >> we have a new show for you tomorrow night. again, the show tomorrow night will be a new one. our guests will be nathan lane and adam carolla and music from royal blood. so join us tomorrow. our first guest tonight is a very young and very talented actress whose new movie is likely to break box office and

kleenex sales records around the world. it's called "the fault in our stars." it opens june 6th. please say hello to shailene woodley. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> how's it going? >> jimmy: great to see you. you look great. i wanted to tell you that. the last time you were here you came out and you hugged me. and i thought, wow, she must really like me. and then i found out you hugged every person on our staff. which is nice, well, for them. but disappointing for me. it's great to see you. how are you? everything all right? >> i'm so good. yeah. >> jimmy: i think you are a very interesting person. i want to ask you about a few things. well, one thing i heard about you, and i don't know if it's true or not, i assume it is, that you could fit all of your possessions, everything you own, into one suitcase. >> almost everything. i have some kitchen items that my grandma is using. but other than that, yeah, everything that i own and use are in a carry-on suitcase. >> jimmy: is this suitcase enormous?

>> no, carry-on. >> jimmy: it's a little suitcase. >> because i figure if i only own a few things and it gets lost, then i would have nothing. >> jimmy: that takes an unbelievable amount of self control. it really -- it does. >> you know what it was, i was gone, i was home for 15 days last year. and i got home, and i was like, i don't want to be alone. i want to be with my friends and family, home, l.a., so i got rid of everything so i could have one suitcase that would be easy to transport between houses and just kind of couch surf for a few months. but it's so refreshing and it takes so much stress away when you're like, oh, i only have one pair of jeans to wash. you know? it's so nice. it's so nice. >> jimmy: and so you have a house? >> no. i used to. i gave it to my grandma. >> jimmy: you gave it to your grandma. are you allowed in it now, or is she -- >> no. it's only hers. i'm never allowed back. >> jimmy: so where do you live then? >> literally on friends' couches. i mean, i was only here in l.a. for two months, and so, you

know, when you're home, you kind of want to soak up faces and places. like familiarity and feel comfortable. and then i leave again. >> jimmy: do you take everything with you when you leave? all of your possessions? >> yeah. yeah. i'm going to take them with me. >> jimmy: wow. that's something else. do you have a phone? >> i used to not have a phone. i do have a phone right now because we have been doing so much press. and they were like, shai, we need to be able to get a hold of you. so here's a temporary phone. and we've taped the number to the back of it so you won't forget it. it's kind of hilarious. >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you have a computer or an ipad? >> i have a computer. no ipad. >> jimmy: so you have a computer and just a few articles of clothing. >> a few articles of clothing. i've got the hoodie, the hoodie situation. a few basic tank top, t-shirt, leggings. >> jimmy: if the airline were to lose your luggage, you could say i lost everything. that is remarkable. i mean, that's really -- i don't -- it makes me feel like a big fat ugly american, i have to say. >> no, no. >> jimmy: it does. >> it's just light. it feels light. >> jimmy: have you ever been at costco?

have you ever gone in there? >> i actually have a costco card. >> jimmy: you have a -- >> i do. >> jimmy: why would you have that? >> i don't know. i'm on my mom's account still. >> jimmy: of all the things you don't have, how can a costco card be one of the things you do? >> there are a few things -- there's a bread at costco they don't sell anywhere else. >> jimmy: which one? >> it's -- i don't know how to explain it except it's made with honey and seeds, and i don't know the name of it, but you can only get it at costco. so no matter where i am, i can get my costco bread. >> jimmy: wow, that's something else. seems like you would be the last person to go into a place like that. >> costco. yeah. it's -- yeah, no. >> jimmy: i've never seen anybody go in -- >> and not leave with -- >>. >> jimmy: with a whole cart. i once did it. i bought three things and i felt like i was cheating myself out of something. >> but they were three giant items so, you still filled the cart. >> jimmy: when you grew up, did you have things and a house? >> i did have a house. >> jimmy: parents and everything. >> lucky enough to have a house, parents, i had a bed. >> jimmy: are your parents like this too? >> not really, no. i mean, they're both -- they're

both psychologists and sort of, you know, spiritual, and so they don't -- they're not like -- they don't hoard things, but they don't live out of a suitcase either. they have homes. and the homes are filled with random miscellaneous articles of things. >> jimmy: your parents are both psychologists. >> they both are psychologists, yeah. >> jimmy: well, i guess you have nothing to compare it to because that's how you grew up. >> totally, yes. >> jimmy: when your parents are psychologists, if you have a problem, do they charge you by the hour? >> child, sit down. how did that make you feel? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do they give you the thing that psychologists do where they sit and just listen? >> no. i mean, it was more -- i never really understood why or how they affected me as a kid until now. but i'm so lucky because i was raised with a certain responsibility of like them being like me complaining this person hurt my feelings and them being like, what do you think he was going through when he said that? and so like empathy and compassion were sort of engrained into me at a young age.

>> jimmy: so, you literally and figuratively do not have a lot of baggage. [ laughter ] >> i don't know about literally. figuratively. >> jimmy: you only have the one bag, i guess. >> exactly. >> jimmy: well, we're going it talk about this movie, which for people are kind of crazy -- it's another one of these projects you find yourself involved with where it's a hugely popular book, and there's a lot of anticipation, and the name of -- it's called "the fault in our stars." and shailene woodley's here. we'll be right back. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by coors light reminding you that responsible drinking always has its rewards.

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however, when it comes to giving instruction. well, she is less than excellent. but nicole doesn't need to be a one woman it department. i don't? you really don't. luckily for nicole, and her dad, there is a place where he can get personalized instruction from someone who knows their stuff. the samsung experience shop, only at best buy. trade in a working smart phone and get up to a $200 best buy gift card toward the purchase of your samsung galaxy s 5.

how are your eyes, isaac? >> they're good. they're not in my head is the only problem. >> have you heard from monica? >> nope, not a thing. >> she ant even texted you to make sure you're okay? >> not once. i hate that girl. >> grace? >> hmm? >> do you happen to have $5? >> is it there? >> it's there. >> uh-huh. >> can i have an egg? >> all right. >> heck me. >> here we go. >> you got this. >> yes! >> yes! >> what? >> jimmy: that is blind egging. [ cheers and applause ] "the fault in our stars." it stars shailene woodley and ansel elgort also. >> and ansel. >> jimmy: in the last movie he played your brother. >> yeah. he did. now he's my lover. and he'll be back to being my brother in a few weeks. >> jimmy: you're living an odd life. by the way, everybody that has

seen the movie has cried at the movie. >> i don't know how you can't. it's so emotional. i mean, the book is so emotional. >> jimmy: if you watch yourself in the movie, will it make you cry watching yourself? >> i mean, i've seen the movie, and i did cry because the content of the story, it's so intense and so relatable. i think i cried not at myself but mostly at ansel. >> jimmy: i wonder about that because like when you watch home movies, you get emotional sometimes, and you become sad watching yourself, but then you're watching yourself in a completely fictionalized situation. >> yeah. i don't know. there's something that's very different about this movie. i think maybe because -- i like to say it's like a cancer movie that's not about cancer. it's about falling in love for the first time, and so it celebrates life, and it's very hopeful. it's not sad. it doesn't victimize death. it celebrates life. >> jimmy: you're putting the can in cancer. >> the can in cancer. >> jimmy: yeah. use that as you go around. >> thanks for the sound bite. >> jimmy: so when you have a very sad story, but in general,

i mean, it is sad. and you're doing that all day. do you feel then depressed when you go home? >> no. i mean, we were -- again -- >> jimmy: i don't mean to say home. when you go -- >> go back to wherever it is you go. >> jimmy: when you go to the couch. >> well, when i get to couch -- no, you know, we were really lucky to have the author on set, and having him around, his energy is so light and so uplifting, and he was sort of the cheerleader in this whole process. so after a really emotional scene, we kind of would look at him, and we'd be like, is that how you imagined it? he was so stoked that i think it relieved the set in a way. >> jimmy: it could have been very bad having the author there. >> it could have been, yeah, which is why most of the time i don't think people let authors on set. >> jimmy: yeah. >> but john was sort of stoked about everything. >> jimmy: that works out well for you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i want to ask you one other thing. this goes along with not having many possessions.

here you are on the red carpet movie premiere. you're not wearing shoes. here you are for another for "divergent." you're also not wearing shoes. >> yeah. both of those. >> jimmy: is this because you have no place to keep them? >> well, this one was a sneaky photographer. i thought i would be sneaky and just put the dress down. but i'd just gotten up off the stairs. so they snagged it. and then the other one, my shoe broke actually in the middle of the red carpet. so i just took them off because one heel was completely gone and the other one was up. >> jimmy: i hope you're up to date on your tetanus shots. that's all. it's great to see you. thank you for coming. i have been thinking about your philosophy for a long time. shailene woodley. "the fault in our stars" opens june 6th. we'll be right back. ♪ >> the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t, mobilizing your world.

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[ barks ] whoo! mmm! ♪ ♪ oh, yeah [ whistling ] [ male announcer ] discover your new orleans. start exploring at followyournola.com. [ woman ] and i love new orleans! [ applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. still to come, aasif mandvi and music from iggy azalea. let's go back outside to the sweltering heat where we have pedestrians who've been hosing each other off. we went outside and had pedestrians -- we gave them hoses, and we asked them to -- ♪ >> ladies and gentlemen, your attention, please. introducing the great patton oswalt. >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. [ cheers and applause ]

hi, patton. what a wonderful surprise this is. what brings you by, patton? >> as the host of the 2014 webby awards, it is my great honor to present you, jimmy kimmel of westeros, with this commemoration of your excellent skills in fooling everyone into believing the twerking girl was ablaze. so i present you with this year's viral video award of the year. >> jimmy: wow. [ cheers and applause ] very nice. that's a really -- what a beautiful trophy that is, and thank you. i mean, that's very nice. can i ask, what's with the horse and the guys? >> mr. kimmel, my steed -- i

was -- i met these -- i was in the parking lot of a renaissance fair. i met these guys, and i sold them some xanax, and then they said do you have any mdma, i go, that's really expensive. th go, we'll let you use the horse for a week. yeah. and also i'm on a horse because i'm a man! [ applause ] >> jimmy: amazing. >> now, continue, james kimmel of carcosa, with your humorous quips about the strangeness of the high temperatures in los angeles in may. i am off to the preakness. giddyap, don sterling. giddyap. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: the webby awards on tuesday may 20th at webbyawards.com. we'll be right back with aasif mandvi. [ applause ]

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it's great for watching game film and drawing up plays. it's got onenote, so i can stay on top of my to-do list, which has been absolutely absurd since the big game. with skype, it's just really easy to stay in touch with the kids i work with. alright, russell you are good to go! alright, fellas. alright, russ. back to work!

[ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: still to come, music from iggy azalea. you know our next guest from "the daily show." in his spare time, he acts in the movies too. starting tomorrow, you can see him alongside jon hamm in "million dollar arm." please welcome aasif mandvi. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you're a hugger too. i didn't realize that. >> i wanted to give you a hug. and i assure you i have hugged nobody else. >> jimmy: oh, that's nice. >> in this building except you. >> jimmy: i appreciate that. i really do. >> i'll be hugging you when i leave. >> jimmy: okay, good. well, we'll do that >> i'm going to make it awkward. >> jimmy: by the way, i saw your movie. you did a great job. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and it's really good. "million dollar arm." >> it's a great movie. it's -- >> jimmy: a great story. >> it is a true story. and that's what i think is so amazing about it, about these two young indian boys who had never heard of baseball or picked up a baseball ever, and they bring them to america.

they won this contest called million dollar arm. they brought them to america and taught them to become baseball players in a year. and now they're both in the pirates division in the minor leagues. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so it's an amazing sort of story. >> jimmy: it is. it's very -- you would never believe this story unless you were able to look it up and see that they are, indeed -- >> yeah, and it's great because i met the two real guys. when they first came from india, they were both like 110 pounds. you know, they were these little skinny indian kids, and then i met them now when they were shooting the film, and they're just huge guys. like america has just turned them into -- like one guy's got a tat. and it's just like -- how you doin'? what's the matter? hey! what happened to the kid from luknow? >> jimmy: pizza and steroids. that'll do it for you. [ laughter ] but you were born in india. >> i was, yes. >> jimmy: you didn't win a contest. >> i didn't win a contest, no. >> jimmy: so, when you're

shooting the movie there, and you come back, are you greeted as a returning hero? >> as a hero? no. i went to india and my first time ever shooting a movie in india. i've got family there. i visit many times, and i thought, well, you know, "the daily show" plays in india and a few people watch it. and i thought, well, hey, this is going to be great. >> jimmy: and you'd think they'd especially be interested in you. >> right. nobody cared about me. literally they were like don draper! hello, don draper! it was just don draper all the time, night and day. you know, it's bad enough having to stand next to the guy in the movie. he's so handsome, you know, and then like everywhere you go they would be like don draper and some indian guy. [ laughter ] >> so -- >> jimmy: and why did your parents come to the united states? >> well you know, i was born in india. but i grew up in the uk, and my dad decided he wanted to move off to america. so he came to florida. he called us from florida after he had come, come to america, and he said, they have this wonderful thing in america

called brunch, and i want to move to america because of brunch. he thought it was another meal. like he was like, they have so much food in america that between breakfast and lunch they stop and eat again. [ laughter ] by the way, this is not an accent that you are allowed to do with your indian friend. i am part of the home team. i can do it. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah, you can't just -- [ applause ] -- go up to people and do that and impersonate my father. so -- >> jimmy: do you get asked when you are auditioning for roles, especially before people knew who you were, to do the accent? >> yeah, yeah, when i first got to new york as a young actor, you know, one of the first auditions i ever had was to be a snake charmer. >> jimmy: great. >> and -- why not, you know, and it was for an insurance company.

so it made sense. and they asked me if i knew how to snake charm, and i so wanted the job that i said, well, you know i'm indian. so it's probably in my dna. i can figure it out. and then they were like, do you own -- they wanted me to wear a turban, and they didn't have anybody who could actually tie a turban. they were like do you own a turban, and could you bring your own? and i said, you know, if you own a turban, you're generally wearing it. you know, a turban is not something you leave home, oh, i forgot my turban. you know, you have it on. that's it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: is that right? now, i learned something about you that i find very difficult to believe. >> what is that? >> jimmy: that you're a michael jackson impersonator. >> what, whoa! >> jimmy: where did this happen? >> this -- it happened. it just happened to me. no, you know, this was back in the '80s, when michael was big and alive, and he -- it was back

in the days when michael actually -- it was before he turned into helena bonham carter in "planet of the apes." you know what i mean? it was when he still sort of looked like a pretty indian girl, you know. and when i was younger, so did i. so, i just did the jheri curl and put on the glove and go out and do like "billie jean." >> jimmy: where? >> parties. events. fund-raisers. >> jimmy: would you sing? >> lip-sync and dance around. >> jimmy: can you moonwalk like michael jackson? >> i did. >> jimmy: you can't anymore? >> i don't know. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's the noise they make when they want you to do it. they think this is some pre-set up talk show moment where you're now going to moonwalk and dazzle us all. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very good. >> that's all. everybody i know from high school right now is just going like i can't believe he just did that. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we are going to get a legal letter from the jackson estate, as well. wow, this is some life you've had already. i have to say. i mean, not that it's over. [ laughter ] >> does make me feel like it is. no. yeah, it was interesting. you know, i did a gig as michael once where they hired me and they also hired a prince impersonator at the same time, and the prince impersonator would not talk to me at all, and he had his own appolonia with him. this girl dressed up as appolonia. and he refused -- i was trying to be friendly. hey, how are you doing? we're both -- and he'd be like, i don't talk to you. i don't know why he had an indian accent. but he did. >> jimmy: he was a method impersonator. >> exactly. >> jimmy: well, congratulations on the big success with the movie. >> thank you.

>> jimmy: the movie is called "million dollar arm." it opens in theaters tomorrow. aasif mandvi, everyone. we'll be right back with iggy azalea. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t, mobilizing your world. um...hi georgia. i just wanted to apologize again for what happenedoww, that's hot.picnic. that is hot! wow daddy like. owww, that is smoking hot! ahhh, hmmm, awww! hi georgia. hey georgia. man this is hot! try jack's hottest sandwich yet. his new blazin' chicken sandwich has spicy crispy chicken, ghost pepper ranch sauce, and sliced jalapeños. owww, that's hot! you better be holdin' a sandwich.

>> jimmy: i'd like to thank shailene woodley, aasif mandvi, patt >> jimmy: i want to thank shailene woodley. i want to thank aasif mandvi. i want to thank patton oswalt and apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next. but first, this is her new cd called "the new classic." here with the song "fancy" with some help from charli xcx, iggy azalea. [ cheers and applause ] >> check, one two. ♪ first thing first i'm the realest drop this and let the whole world feel it ♪ ♪ and i'm still in the murda bizness i could hold you down like i'm givin' lessons in physics ♪ ♪ and you should want a bad chick like this drop it low and pick it up just like this ♪ ♪ cup of ace cup of goose cup of cris high heels somethin' worth a half a ticket on my wrist ♪ ♪ they takin' all the liquor

straight never chase that rooftop like we bringin' '88 back ♪ ♪ bring the hooks in where the bass at champagne spillin' you should taste that ♪ ♪ i'm so fancy you already know i'm in the fast lane from l.a to tokyo ♪ ♪ i'm so fancy can't you taste this gold remember my name about to blow ♪ ♪ i said baby i do this i thought that you knew this can't stand no haters and honest the truth is ♪ ♪ that my flow retarded each beat dear departed swagger on stupid i can't shop in no department ♪ ♪ better get my money on time if it ain't bout money decline ♪ ♪ and swear i meant that there so much that i give that line a rewind ♪ ♪ said i get my money on time if it ain't bout money decline ♪ ♪ i just can't worry 'bout no haters gotta stay on my grind ♪ ♪ now tell me who dat who dat that do that do that put that paper over all ♪ ♪ i thought you knew that knew that i be the i-g-g-y put my name in bold ♪ ♪ i been workin' i'm up in here with some change to throw ♪

♪ i'm so fancy you already know i'm in the fast lane from l.a to tokyo ♪ ♪ i'm so fancy can't you taste this gold remember my name about to blow ♪ ♪ trash the hotel let's get drunk off the mini bar make the phone call ♪ ♪ feels so good getting what i want keep on turning it up chandelier swinging we don't give a what ♪ ♪ film star yeah i'm deluxe classic expensive you don't get to touch ♪ ♪ oh ♪ still stunting how you love that got the whole world asking how i does that ♪ ♪ hot girl hands off don't touch that look at it i bet you wishing you could clutch that ♪ ♪ that's just the way you like it huh it's so good he's just wishing he could bite it huh ♪

♪ never turn down nothing slaying these gold trigger on the gun ♪ ♪ i'm so fancy you already know i'm in the fast lane from l.a to tokyo ♪ ♪ i'm so fancy can't you taste this gold remember my name about to blow ♪ ♪ now tell me who dat who dat i-g-g-y ♪ ♪ who dat who dat ♪ i-g-g-y ♪ now tell me who dat who dat that do that do that ♪ ♪ i-g-g-y ♪ blow ♪ now tell me who dat who dat i-g-g-y ♪ ♪ who dat who dat ♪ i-g-g-y ♪ now tell me who dat who dat that do that do that ♪ ♪ i-g-g-y ♪ blow [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ walk a mile in these louboutins but they don't wear

these where i'm from ♪ ♪ i'm not hating i'm just telling you ♪ ♪ i'm tryna to let you know what i've been through ♪ ♪ two feet in the red dirt school skirt sugar cane back lanes three jobs took years to save ♪ ♪ but i got a ticket on that plane people got a lot to say ♪ ♪ but don't know a thing about where i was made or how many floors that i had to scrub ♪ ♪ just to make it past where i am from no money no family sixteen in the middle of miami ♪ ♪ no money no family sixteen in the middle of miami ♪ ♪ no money, no family ♪ 16 in the middle of miami ♪ 16 in the middle of miami ♪ i've been up all night tryna get that rich, i've been work work work ♪ ♪ working on my ♪ the whole game twice ♪ got to get it how i live ♪ i been work work work working on my ♪

♪ work ♪ yeah it be work ♪ now it's work this is "nightline" -- >> tonight. breaking news. a u.s. military fighter jet crashes into a residential neighborhood. >> what about the guy supposed to be in there? >> we're on the scene with all the latest details. >> get out of the way! >> plus operation bergdahl, the anatomy of a rescue with a clock ticking. some of the military's most elite men in enemy territory on a mission to save the only known american p.o.w. in afghanistan. right now, new details emein