tomorrow morning. tune in and stay tuned. right now on jimmy kimmle, johnny knoxville. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- johnny knoxville. dave salmoni with animals. and music from timeflies. with cleto and the cletones. and now, first of all, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you very much. that's very nice. i'm jimmy, host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming to visit us here.

my wife, guillermo and i are very grateful. here's how it's going to work tonight. we'll have some laughs, maybe a couple of drinks, and see where the night takes us, okay? before we get going, i want to mention something. like most americans i spend a lot of my time at work, shopping online. that's why the show isn't very good. so i was on the williams-sonoma website buying a multichopper, i always look at the sale section to see what else i can buy that i don't need. i came across this item. a chocolate easter bunny. which was reduced from $14.95 to $9.99. i have a number of questions about this. the only one that matters, who is buying chocolate easter bunnies in may? i mean, it's not like chocolate isn't available in other shapes. can you imagine your wife comes home, a full month after easter, sitting at the kitchen table chocolate bunny all over your face? she'd probably dial 911, right? and even if you did buy a chocolate bunny, even if you

were to purchase an out of season candy rabbit, would you order it by mail? i mean, if a chocolate bunny isn't an impulse purchase, what is? listen, kids, next year if you're wondering why your bunny is petrified and white, it's because your cheapskate mom and dad bought it marked down and hid it behind a bag of lentils for 11 months. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i guess my point with all of this is you learn incredible things when you subscribe to the williams sonoma discount chocolate lovers e-mail club. we have a lot lined up for you tonight. our friend johnny knoxville is here with us on the show. [ cheers and applause ] he's here with a version of "bad grandpa" about the life of donald sterling owner of the clippers. our other guest tonight is dave salmoni from animal planet. i'll tell you something, it's always funny to see dave pulled up with a llama crammed into the

back seat of his prius. he has ferocious creatures, including a bearcat, a desert lynx, and a crocodile. tonight america will vote and we will release one of the animals on to hollywood boulevard. [ cheers and applause ] i want to check in with dave. in the dressing room. that's not dave. dave, wow. dave, oh, dave. dave, i thought -- i was worried you'd been eaten for a second. >> no, lucky enough. we're hanging out in here. >> jimmy: what's the difference between a crocodile and alligator? >> crocodiles are typically a little more grumpy. >> jimmy: demeanor is the difference between these animals? >> physically, opportunity to get to know them, an alligator is a little more relaxed. this is a crocodile. and a little grumpier. >> jimmy: both can eat a talk show host? right? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: i want to ask you something not animal related. i found interesting pictures of you online. wonder if you can tell me what is going on. this one looked like you are wrapped in cheesecloth or something. what is that from, dave? >> i'm not sure what that's

from. i think maybe you shouldn't be googling me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't know, that is you in the hospital? there's another picture i wanted to get that might require a little more explanation. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: is this from "playgirl"? >> that was a fun shoot, i guess. i don't know. you've got to be a little nicer to me because i'm bringing these animals on, i know you're a little nervous. >> jimmy: you know what, you're right, i should be very nice to you. >> these are the jokes you should be telling after i'm gone. >> jimmy: you're absolutely right. dave, put on your corset. oil up and come out here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you know, between cave and the animals and johnny knoxville, this might be our most dangerous show ever. and if gary busey shows up. run! good advice in general, by the way. the nba is moving forward with its plan to remove donald sterling from the league. yesterday the league formally notified him of its intention to terminate his ownership of the l.a. clippers. and they also let him know that his face looks like a bag of

melted silly putty. they gave donald sterling until tuesday to respond. his lawyer is asking for a three-month extension so he can have time to prepare. i'll tell you what's going to happen here. he's stalling. donald sterling is a staller. he's going to keep this in court until he dies. he's basically trying to run out the clock on being alive. meanwhile, facebook, i don't know if you noticed this. facebook has spawned yet another way to be part of our privacy. it's called the ask button. have you seen the ask button? it works like this. if you decide to to leave part of your profile blank, other people can use the ask button to request that you share the information you neglected to share in the first place. it could be stuff like your hometown, where you work, your relationship status. which i don't know this seems out of character for facebook. it's not in their nature to pry into our personal information. [ laughter ] you have to be friends with somebody before they can use the ask button.

facebook friends, not real friends. if you were a real friend you would know if they're in a relationship. [ laughter ] it's a weird thing -- [ applause ] right? to be asked to share this. i say, if i want people to ask about my relationship status, i go to a cousin's wedding like everyone else. what facebook really needs, a why button, to ask people to explain all the dumb stuff that they're posting. [ cheers and applause ] if they've don't have a why -- hang on a second. don't act like you aren't. they have an ask button. you cannot ignore it either. or it might wind up like this. >> yeah, so it's like, i'll be x-men in one movie together so it looks pretty cool. >> cool. we should go see it together. >> freeze! police! facebook police! >> what is your relationship status? >> what? >> you left your relationship status empty! what are you?

>> we just started dating. it's not official yet. >> it ain't facebook official. do it. you're going down. down! >> i'm trying. >> there. >> what is taking you so long, boy? >> there, there! >> all right. now take an adorable couple selfie. >> no, please, everyone hates those. >> do it! >> put your phone up, do it! >> done, done, done! >> okay. >> congratulations on your love. >> that was crazy. >> so crazy. >> so crazy. >> make a baby. facebook loves babies! >> aahh! why would you do that, facebook! [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: they're very tough. all going in on that one guy, too. this video is getting a lot of attention online. a couple of weeks ago a guy named jesse was sitting outside a kroger supermarket in irving, texas. he's singing, playing his guitar. he does this regularly. the manager of a nearby dollar store, a guy named jamie, happened to be walking by and started recording with his phone. and we're lucky he did. he captured an impromptu jam session that in three days online already has 7 million views. watch this. ♪ ♪ what i need to say ♪ oh ♪ say >> that's good. ♪ ♪ i don't know what you can do ♪ ♪ i don't know what you can do

♪ i don't know what you can do ♪ i don't know what you can do >> jimmy: they're pretty good. right? [ cheers and applause ] it's a guy, the guy was outside the store. he just joined in, he started singing. then a couple minutes later, another guy who happens to know how to rap joined in too. ♪ i just don't know don't know don't know ♪ >> bring it in. ♪ i don't know what's going on ♪ no no no no ♪ i don't know what's going on ♪ keep my head up high ♪ if i make it out alive ♪ well i will just try ♪ if i can't i would just get down on my knees and pray ♪

♪ what do i got to do something that i got to do ♪ ♪ oh no ♪ sometimes i just don't know >> whoo! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. i saw the video, i saw it early on. because a lot of people were tweeting me asking if i'd orchestrated it, if it was some kind of viral video hoax. i would like to claim responsibility for it but i had nothing to do with it. the guy who shot the video is in audience tonight, jamie maldonado. why did you decide to start recording that? >> honestly, i just heard the beat. i really loved the muse that i can he was playing. and everybody was at the right place at the right time. >> jimmy: had you seen jesse performing outside the store before? >> that was actually my first day in that area. >> jimmy: and you posted it to facebook. and the response -- i would have to imagine it surprised you. >> i mean, it's been --

i have no words to explain how big it's been. >> jimmy: it was instantaneous. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: look at this. it's jesse. ♪ >> what's going on, guys? ♪ this is my life all i wished for all i've wasted this is my time ♪ ♪ good sensations no inhibition ♪ ♪ oh you know we both tried i've been down and i've been wasted ♪ ♪ i don't think i've got the patience to say what i need to say ♪ ♪ i don't think that i will say what i need ♪ ♪ i don't know what you can do ♪ i don't know what you can do

♪ say i don't know what you can do ♪ ♪ no ♪ so i don't know what you came to do now ♪ ♪ but we came up from no no no no ♪ ♪ telling that i just don't know know know know ♪ ♪ telling that i just don't know ♪ ♪ know, know tell them that i just don't know because i'm really here what's going on ♪ ♪ and one of these days ♪ say what say what ♪ sometimes i just don't know ♪ tell them that i just don't know ♪ ♪ know, know ♪ tell them that i just don't know ♪ ♪ know know know ♪ tell them that i just don't know ♪ ♪ know know know ♪ tell them that i just don't know ♪

♪ know know know ♪ tell them that i just don't know ♪ ♪ know know know know ♪ tell them that i just don't know ♪ ♪ tell them that i just don't know ♪ ♪ know know know ♪ tell them that i just don't know ♪ ♪ tell them that i just don't know ♪ >> jimmy: trey songz, everybody! ♪ tell them that i just don't know ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ tell them that i just don't know ♪ ♪ tell them that i just don't know ♪ ♪ know know know ♪ tell them that i just don't know ♪

♪ tell them that i just don't know ♪ ♪ know know know ♪ that i have but i been with yeah ♪ ♪ say i don't know [ cheers and applause ] ♪ say i don't know ♪ say i don't know ♪ say that i just don't know ♪ tell them that i just don't know ♪ ♪ no no no ♪ tell them that i just don't know ♪ ♪ know know know know ♪ tell them that i just don't know ♪ note better than a disco better than a disco better than a disco ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ tell them that i just don't know ♪ ♪ i don't think that i have got your style ♪ ♪ i don't think that they were even listening ♪ ♪ no no no ♪ tell them that i just don't know ♪ ♪ know know know know ♪ jimmy tell them that i just don't know ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: thanks, guys. he doesn't know. >> thank you, jesse. that was beautiful. that's jesse, howard, ronald -- aka three random dudes. trey songz, aloe blacc, and juicy j playing along. we'll be right back with johnny knoxville. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the program -- a man who won't be happy until i lose a limb. he is here with yet another pack of wild animals from animal planet, dave salmoni. and then, their album is called "after hours." timeflies from the at&t stage. have a good show for you tomorrow night. let's see. tomorrow night, with adam sandler will be here, elle fanning and will be here, we'll have music from lykke li. so please join -- and a new installment of "mean tweets" as well. join us for that tomorrow. our first guest tonight, he's perfectly fine with others but a bona fide danger to himself.

he is the co-founder of the vast empire known as "jackass." >> sir, can you help me get these beers to my car? i'm so sorry. >> not a problem, not a problem. >> how you doing today? >> i'm doing good, how about you? >> i'm -- well, i've been better. you know, my wife just died recently. so -- working myself through it. i'm so sorry. i apologize. >> is that a dead person in your trunk? >> it's my wife, elle. >> ernie! >> jimmy: jackass presents "bad grandpa 0.5." available for download june 3rd and comes out on blu-ray july 8th. please welcome johnny knoxville! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very good to see you.

always glad when you come here. because i know that you're still alive. >> it's very sweet. thank you. >> jimmy: you are alive. you have a pulse and everything. >> yes. >> jimmy: how are you? how are you doing? >> i am doing wonderful. thank you for asking. >> jimmy: you have been on the show a couple of times, talking about "bad grandpa." the trailer premiere, the movie came out. and now this is like, what is 0.5 exactly? >> well, first of all, thank you for selling the hell off our film. and this, "bad grandpa .5" since we had a story for this one so many things didn't make it into the movie. so many funny things we shot with spike jonze as gloria and katherine keener. we had katherine keener in our movie. but there was a story. she didn't make it in. you see that on bad grandpa 0.5. >> jimmy: took the great stuff didn't fit in two hours that you had allotted and you put it in -- it's the stuff that didn't make the cut. >> and there's a lot of embarrassing behind the scenes stuff. >> jimmy: oh, there is? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: what could possibly

embarrass you? >> well, you know, i always say that you know, we don't know what we're doing. but when you see "bad grandpa 0.5" you'll know we really don't know what we're doing. >> jimmy: the movie was nominated for an oscar. >> the makeup. makeup. >> jimmy: still, you got nominated for an oscar. >> yes, yes. we really did good in the makeup community. the makeup was amazing. we made the mistake of sending a screener out to all the oscar voters. and within the first five minutes i get my jim dog stuck in a coke machine. so we completely blew our chances. >> jimmy: must you call it jim dog and use my name in that way. [ laughter ] >> my jimmy dog. my little bitty jimmy dog. >> jimmy: that you think that's what sunk you as far as oscar voting goes. >> yeah, that and a lot of other stuff. >> jimmy: for those who haven't seen it, your character is bad grandpa, we saw there. you have a grandson in the movie. i know you fell in love with this kid.

you brought him here. >> oh, god, he is hell on wheels. >> jimmy: and his parents have been keeping you in touch with him. >> yeah, i get pictures all the time. he entered a pie eating contest against nine other full grown men. and won. that's the kind of guy -- kind of looks like lewis black. >> jimmy: yeah, he does look like lewis black, yeah. this is -- what's happening here? >> this was a misunderstanding. he got in trouble at school for having fireworks in his desk. and i thought he had a couple of sparklers until i got the picture from his mother. how can you fit that in one desk? >> jimmy: and -- >> well -- we were, we were going at it pretty hard promoting in mexico. this is a picture his mom sent me from -- while we were in mexico. it's a shame he -- he's on his right side, because you can't see the tattoo. >> jimmy: so he's doing great? >> he's an angel. >> jimmy: you have a young son of your own? >> another angel. >> jimmy: when you, like when

you go to school, preschool, your son is in, do the other parents go like, what the hell did we do? we signed up -- i mean, like -- you get any reaction like that? >> they don't -- like i see them so much. because when you have a young kid, you are constantly at birthday parties. we went to five birthdays in one day. that's our record. >> jimmy: unbelievable. >> it's terrible. >> jimmy: it is, right? >> i mean, one or two. but five? i was like -- get me to the bar. >> jimmy: luckily they're all like two hours each. still, that's ten hours of birthday. that's too much birthday. >> it is. >> jimmy: and you brought a photograph from that birthday party. >> oh, this is good. >> jimmy: i'm not sure i'm even allowed to share -- >> we might have to blur the balloon. my son goes up and asks, there is a guy dressed as spider-man. all the kids were getting swords. this is what my kid got. [ laughter ] it's got a hole in top.

>> jimmy: it's actually got a urethra. >> and not a narrow one. >> jimmy: spider-man made this? >> yeah. i was so -- it made my whole week. i went to spider-man, what were you thinking with this one? he was so embarrassed. he turned red -- >> jimmy: how would you know if spider-man turned red? >> you can't see spider-man's face. but he, after i talked to him and gave him a little, you know, he was making the kids balloons. every 30 seconds you would hear the pop, pop. he got so flustered by me bringing the -- he called it a laser gun. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's what they call it nowadays. johnny knoxville is here. his movie is "bad grandpa .05." we'll be right back! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> portions of gymy kimmel live are brought to you with gillette fusion pro glide.

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♪ [ barks ] whoo! mmm! ♪ ♪ oh, yeah [ whistling ] [ male announcer ] discover your new orleans. start exploring at followyournola.com. [ woman ] and i love new orleans! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, we're back with johnny knoxville. music from time flies too. your movie "bad grandpa" -- well, "jackass presents bad grandpa 0.5" will be played all

around the world. people in other countries will watch you screwing with people in our country. this is the movie poster from japan. >> yeah, can i say, the title of the movie in japan -- [ bleep ] grandpa across america, penis on the ground. that's on the poster. i'm not even kidding. someone told me that in a bar, i said, that's not true. i asked the person from paramount, he's like, hai. >> jimmy: hold on a minute. our guitar player toshi is japanese. read that for me and confirm what that says. because i don't really believe it. what does it say, tosh? >> the grandpa is american. yeah. [ bleep ]. [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: it does? >> yeah. >> jimmy: there you go. that's good information. >> i learned some other japanese. >> jimmy: what japanese did you learn, johnny? >> i learned a lot. one is some girls have a kimoja. if they have a brazilian wax, they have a pie pan. >> jimmy: is that true? he doesn't know what you're talking about. >> i don't know if there are a

lot of pie pans in japan. that's not a bad thing. >> jimmy: our censors are trying to translate whatever the hell you just said. >> i can translate it for them. i don't think they would like it. >> jimmy: do you get sued a lot? >> yeah! >> jimmy: you do. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] like for the things you do at work or in your free time? >> both! i have very good lawyers. >> jimmy: do you really? >> sure. >> jimmy: do your lawyers -- >> you know. >> jimmy: -- charge you by the ton or how does it work, exactly? >> i don't know. yeah, i should pay more attention. >> jimmy: congratulations. i know you signed a new deal. new production company. >> yes, hello junior. >> jimmy: hello junior is the name. why is it called hello junior? i hesitate to ask. >> well my cousin, roger allen wade, suggested it one of my father's favorite stories. he had a guy that worked for him. a tire groover. my father owned a tire store, company. and his tire groover, woodrow

wilson boxcar johnson jr., came home from work early one day and his wife was laying in bed naked. and he's like, well, what's going on? and she's like, well, you haven't bought me any clothes in a long time. he's like, that's not true. and he goes to the closet, opens up the door and there stand his best friend buck naked and his best friend goes," hello, junior!" >> jimmy: i like that. and you want to stick around for the animals? >> yes. >> jimmy: johnny knoxville is here. his movie is called "jackass presents: bad grandpa 0.5." we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ]

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are getting the imals ready as we speak. johnny knoxville is here. you like dangerous animals, true? >> yes. they're cooperative. they give great footage. bulls get you great footage. >> jimmy: they get you great footage if you get gored by them. what's the worst you have been injured by an animal? >> i don't know. like there's been a lot of concussions and -- i don't know. >> jimmy: you've had actual concussions from the bull or other animals. >> a number of -- aah! hi, buddy! >> jimmy: i guess you can't scare johnny knoxville. we're going to take a quick break. dave salmoni's here -- what the hell is that thing?

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, we're back with johnny knoxville. still to come, music from time flies. our next guest loves animals, even ones you can't eat. he's a zoologist and tv host who's been bitten on nearly every inch of his body. you guys have a lot in common. from animal planet, please welcome, dave salmoni. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> look at this adorable creature. >> he is adorable. >> jimmy: holy cow, that is weird. >> weird, a tanadua, a lesser anteater. one thing you'll notice right now, it has claws deep in my back. >> jimmy: is it hurting you? >> a little bit. >> jimmy: can i help you in any way? >> pull on it, get it away from my back. >> jimmy: don't get your mouth near me.

>> he won't bite. >> jimmy: i think that's good. >> can you see him? >> jimmy: yeah, i can see him. i'll see him in my nightmares later. >> the number one thing you notice about these guys, they hang out in trees, which is what he's trying to do. trying to get up and behind me. trying to help him out. he has a prehensile tail. there we go. i would love to get you to hold him. >> jimmy: no, no, i am not going to hold him. there you go. >> i don't want you to lose that itchy shirt you have on. >> jimmy: okay, there we go. that's better. >> the claws i was talking about, you can see those things. that's their defense. they can use them to hold on to tree branches. if they do get threatened. >> jimmy: who threatens them? >> anything up in the trees. these guys -- they'll sit here and hang from their tail, i'll show you that. >> jimmy: do they eat ants? anteaters? >> absolutely, this guy can eat 9,000 ants in a day. >> jimmy: i have that in my kitchen, by the way. >> he can hang like that. obviously the other big thing you start to notice is this big

snout. that snout is an extra tool he can get into crevices and things. >> jimmy: he's really hurting you right now. i can see that you're really in pain here. >> those claws are serious. when he gets older -- >> jimmy: a natural back scratcher. >> when they get ahold of you they will never let you go. those big claws there. >> jimmy: yeah. >> jimmy wants to hold it. he loves holding them. >> jimmy: dave lost a nipple in that exchange. i think you're bleeding. >> i probably am bleeding. yes. probably. this guy is a little nicer. >> jimmy: i would hope so. >> this is a toucan. >> jimmy: is this going to bite me or do something weird? we hope. >> there you go. [ cheers and applause ] there you go. the number one thing you don't want to do. don't wave anything in its face. >> jimmy: i won't. >> it will get startled and rush off. obviously what you will notice with the toucan, the big beak.

we all know it. >> jimmy: i do see that. >> kiss it. >> you can kiss it. >> jimmy: why is he looking? i don't want to kiss it. he may think my nose is a walnut. what's that noise he's making? >> she is saying hello. you want to hold her? >> jimmy: it's a she. >> yeah, that's a she. the other thing, while johnny's holding, watch her face. obviously the bigger beaks, they look more dangerous but they're not that powerful. even if he does get bit he won't get bit that hard. the shorter wings, not a great flier. lives in the trees. gets a lot of fruit. jump from branch to branch. be careful. >> i'm just petting. >> jimmy: if you were to put a box of froot loops in front of them, would he -- >> get me a fruit. over there. a bag of fruit. now give me this. show it to him. throw it to him. >> jimmy: i thought it was a her. >> wave at her, right. >> jimmy: throw it. >> show it to her, like hey, look at that. >> jimmy: hey, look at that. >> throw it to her. >> jimmy: hey! >> look at that, that's a good girl. >> jimmy: wow, that's great.

>> show it to her. >> hey! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. how do they know how to do this? it's not like monkeys are throwing fruit at them in the wild. >> they have to be good with beak-eye coordination. because they're going to be in branches. >> jimmy: wow, that's very good beak-eye coordination. >> johnny. >> give me a grape. >> she's probably not going to catch it but you can try. >> give me a grape. >> throw it at you. >> jimmy: he just wants -- on, oh, interesting! i thought you were just hungry. >> want that? >> i'll take it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: johnny. wow, that's pretty good. i like the safe animals that are colorful and friendly seeming. >> yeah. i try to bring you cute, cuddly ones this time. >> jimmy: no, no, no. >> hand it straight to jimmy. that's a good girl. >> jimmy: that seems really dangerous. like i know it's funny and

everything but it seems like a dangerous animal to have on my desk. >> no, you're fine. come on up here. give it some pats. >> jimmy: you are bleeding, why am i fine? >> i'm not bleeding -- >> jimmy: you're bleeding from the less dangerous animal. >> the carical, the tufts, lynx, you remember like the north american lynx. very, very similar. these guys sort of are more desert -- >> jimmy: weird. he's looking at me. >> you can pet it. >> jimmy: i don't want to pet it. >> come on, jimmy, pet him. it's your show. >> jimmy: his head seems too small for the rest of his body. no offense, dude. really. >> the smaller head is an adaptation to stronger muscles. the shorter the jaw muscles are the better the bite is. this guy's one of the best predators in the wild. when he actually sees something he wants to eat, very few things can get away from it. >> jimmy: is it like a cat, does it eat mice and stuff like that? >> they can eat anything that's smaller than them. come here, buddy. >> jimmy: does it kill for fun like cats do?

>> because the predator defense is far more -- they don't always hunt because they're hungry, they hunt because they can kill something. >> jimmy: slide, if you gave it catnip, would it roll around and freak out? >> no, this guy probably wouldn't. some like catnip. snuggly. obviously, they're not like domestic cats. the one thing -- obviously, you notice with this big harness, it looks like it might make a good pet, but these things are actually quite aggressive. terrible pets. i bring the animals out here. and i tell you, never good pets. >> jimmy: you've want me to pet them. >> yeah, come on. >> you can put it in your lap. look how cuddly it is. >> jimmy: i don't want to touch it. it's scaring me. >> another fun thing, see how big his back end is. he is a great jumper. he's known to actually take birds out of the air. >> jimmy: really. can we feed him a toucan? can i hand him to jimmy?

>> jimmy: jimmy doesn't want him. why did i let johnny knoxville stay out for the segment. >> good seeing you. take care, man. >> if you don't like this guy, the next guy will be something you really don't like. >> jimmy: you know what, i'm actually less scared of this one. because i think it seems slower. >> that's the trick. they make it seem like they're slow. but they're not slow. why don't we hop up here. >> no, they can't just leave. >> johnny, stay on this side so she can see you. >> jimmy: can i throw a blueberry? >> don't throw anything at this guy. you come over. this is good distance. if you take the body length of the crocodile. that's the striking distance the way their brain looks. looks like sitting small there and slow. if you get within its striking distance -- >> come on, jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm calling 911. >> all right. all right. we don't want to scare the crocodile. >> jimmy: right, you do not want to scare the crocodile. >> it's a nile crocodile.

don't want to get too close. i will have to put a waistband on you. she will bite you. >> jimmy: why do you love this so much, what's wrong with you? >> yes, she's feisty, you can tell. >> she wants to bite you. the one thing about these guys that you'll notice, jimmy, if you have a look -- >> jimmy: i will not. i can see it from here. i am at home watching this on television right now. >> these guys are ambush predators. look at the top of its head. bumps behind the eyes, the ears are. the eyes, the ears and the nose, that's all on top of the head so the whole body can be submerged under water. they can sit there for as long, up to six months. they wait for someone like johnny to come take a drink. then they're done. >> jimmy: no reaction at all. yeah. wow. yeah. well you, know what, dave, you have done it. whatever it is, you've done it again. you're bleeding again. [ cheers and applause ] you scared me now. dave salmoni, everybody!

watch "monster week" on animal planet. it continues through next monday night. when we come back, music from timeflies! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dickey: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world.

>> dickey: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. >> jimmy: i have so many people to thank -- johnny knoxville, dave salmoni, the animals. three random dudes, trey songz, aloe blacc, and juicy j -- and i want to apologize to matt day son. we ran out of time. nightline is next, but first, their album is called, "after hours." here with the song "monsters" timeflies. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ a cup of coffee still steaming staring back at me and it's blacker than night ♪ ♪ and i'm awake but still

sleeping ♪ ♪ i keep telling myself i'll be all right i won't ♪ ♪ and i know it can't get worse than today sitting here ♪ ♪ and she's trying to rehearse what to say ♪ ♪ she's in the bathroom and hoping i'm not in earshot ♪ ♪ while she's getting used to the sound of her tear drops ♪ ♪ splash it hits the towel and i know it's been awhile ♪ ♪ since you've seen me smile and laugh ♪ ♪ like i used to i've been in denial ♪ ♪ since it happened just take me to the past ♪ ♪ cause i just can't imagine losing you too ♪ ♪ i can't explain this so i keep it all inside wear my pain but ♪ it's masked by my pride she came to hold me ♪ ♪ and she cried told me this and ♪ ♪ she stared into my eyes and said ♪ ♪ i see your monsters i see your pain tell me your problems i'll chase them away ♪ ♪ i'll be your lighthouse i'll make it okay when i see your ♪ monsters i'll stand there so

brave and chas them away ♪ ♪ i can't you won't like what you see if you were in my head ♪ and had to hear my plea it's like i can't believe this is ♪ ♪ happening to me and could someone please shut off this answering machine ♪ ♪ so i can stop leaving these messages that you will never get ♪ and all these cries for help you'll never see ♪ ♪ you'll never check but i guess it's easy for you ♪ ♪ to leave me but believe me ♪ see this isn't something that ima just forget ♪ ♪ i would trade it all for one more minute don't you see i ♪ really need you to talk to me i'm still sitting here ♪ ♪ wondering who did it while i'm staring out ♪ ♪ our front door knowing you'll never walk through ♪ ♪ said you'd come right back now you're gone like that a blank stare as i stand so alone i know you're never coming home ♪ ♪ i see your monsters i see your pain ♪ ♪ tell me your problems i'll chase them away ♪

♪ i'll be your lighthouse i'll make it okay ♪ ♪ when i see your monsters i'll stand there so brave and chase them all away ♪ ♪ i got a heart made of fools gold got me feeling so cold they ♪ keep chipping away all the promises i told felt like i was ♪ ♪ on those they keep slipping away ♪ ♪ i want nobody else but it's hard to get to know ♪ ♪ me when i don't know myself and it helps ♪ ♪ cause i felt i was down i was out ♪ ♪ then you looked at me now and said ♪ ♪ i see your monsters i see your pain tell me your problems i'll chase them away ♪ ♪ i'll be your lighthouse i'll make it okay when i see your monitors ♪ ♪ i'll stand there so brave ♪ i see your monsters i see your pain tell me your problems i'll chase them away ♪

♪ i'll be your lighthouse i'll make it okay when i see your monsters ♪ ♪ i'll stand there so brave and chase them all away ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

this is "nightline" -- >> tonight, vacation ripoffs. for this family it seemed like a dream getaway. >> $400 a night. this house is amazing. >> but it turned into a complete nightmare. >> there were total strangers in my house. >> before you book the great summer escape, check out what we learned about vacation predators lurking online. >> plus, animal madness. >> there he is. >> think we humans are the only one capable of complex emotions? a provocative argument that animals can lose their mind just like us. the surprisingly moving story of a depressed goat and what happened when he was reunited with his best friend.