for larry, sandhya and all of us, we app >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" [ cheers and applause ] tonight -- chloë grace moretz. ufc champion jon "bones" jones. and music from the mighty mighty bosstones. and now, let's face it, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow, very nice. i'm jimmy. i am the host of this show. thank you for watching.

glad you're in a good mood. we're going to have fun tonight. our announcer tonight, dicky is going to sing for us tonight with his band the mighty mighty bosstones. [ applause ] the mighty mighty bosstones unless you've been living on top of a rock are the godfathers are ska core, which is music, right? >> it's the best music. >> jimmy: it's the best music. sounds like it could be an event at the x games, but it is music, ska core. and these guys have been knocking on wood for -- how long have you been doing this? >> dicky: many, many years. >> jimmy: and quite frankly it's time to freshen things up. tonight they'll be adding a new bosstone to the band and that bosstone is me. i'll be playing bass clarinet. [ cheers and applause ] people ask me why i play

clarinet, because clarinet players get all the women. chloe grace moretz and jon "bones" jones are here. [ cheers and applause ] they're going to fight each other. a new thing we're having. all our guests fight. a russian crime ring, which by the way, the worst kinds of crime rings, russian, they've stolen 1.2 billion user name and password combinations, which i'm pretty sure is all of them. can there be more than that? they stole the information from hundreds of thousands of websites. no one is saying which websites yet. but experts are recommending that you change all your passwords just to be safe. i have to say, i would almost rather have all my information stolen than have to change all my passwords. [ laughter and applause ] i really would. it's a pain. no one's information is safe information. not even the government is safe. the federal government believes there's a mole leaking national secrets the same way edward snowden did. this mole has reportedly been

leak security documents and classified information since at least august of last year. and jack bauer has exactly one day to find him. starting now. [ sound effects ] i love that sound. it's like the world's most dramatic egg timer. here's what i've never understood. why do leakers, why do they always expose national security information? why not leak stuff we can use, like the colonel's fried chicken recipe? i would like to have that. we seem to be doing a lot of spying lately. last week it was revealed the cia has been illegally spying on the senate, specifically the senate intelligence committee, which is the committee that's supposed to supervise the cia. [ laughter ] i mean, that's -- who do these people think they are? facebook? [ laughter ] the closest thing i've ever gotten to stealing a secret is when i used my wife's deodorant without her permission. [ laughter and applause ] you got that, guillermo?

>> i got it. >> jimmy: thank you. i mentioned this last night. i got mad about it some more. this week scrabble, the board game scrabble which i love for some reason decided to add a bunch of stupid new words to the scrabble dictionary. words like selfie. selfie is now a scrabble word. as if anyone who uses the word selfie is playing scrabble. they also added the word bromance, which makes my physically ill. it really does. and they're introduce something new two-letter words including po, p-o. g-i, gi. and da, d-a. as in in da club, i don't know. [ laughter ] as a fan of both scrabble and the english language i find this to be unnecessary and unacceptable. scrabble is supposed to be a game for smart people. if you're going to add words like selfie and bromance, you might as well just do this. >> love scrabble, but hate words? >> yeah! >> introducing scrabble for idiots. the first edition of scrabble that lets anything fly.

>> how about "flamp"? >> sure. >> keesh. >> great. >> it's a pie from france. >> sure it is. >> how about just the letter j? >> that's a word. >> that's a word. >> what about "ewn"? >> why not? scrabble for idiots. >> that's me! >> from the makers of jeopah-duh. >> available at walgreen's. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's what it's coming to. do you like my tie? you know, i've been doing this show -- thank you. for a long time. i still can't get used to wearing a tie. actually, the wearing of the tie is fine. it's the picking it out part i have a hard time with. it's a very complex process. and tonight i think i really hit it out of the park tiewise, right? this is a good one. [ cheers and applause ] i will admit, i did get a bit of help earlier. ♪

>> hi, i'm chris harrison. >> i know who you are. you scared me. what are you doing here? >> i noticed you're having a tough time picking out a tie. >> jimmy: yeah, actually i am. >> well, it's my job to help people talk to their feelings and make a tough decision. >> jimmy: even about ties? >> jimmy, especially about ties. i'm here to guide you on this journey. shall we begin? >> jimmy: yeah. >> come with me. >> jimmy: i will come with you. ♪ >> so tell me about them. >> jimmy: well, the wool tie, i like the material. it's warm. it's sensual, even. but when i feel it, i'm not feeling it. you know what i'm saying? >> interesting. yeah, i do. what about the silk tie? >> jimmy: the silk tie is

beautiful. it's soft. it's classic. it's a little bit off center, but it hangs right over my heart. and i like that. >> that's a good thing. what about this one, the bow tie? >> jimmy: it's not my usual style, but i do kind of love how snobby it is. it's like, hello, i'm a genius, what are you going to do about it? you know. >> all right, jimmy. here we are. you have three amazing ties right here to choose from, but only one neck. are you ready? >> jimmy: i'm scared, chris. >> i know, jimmy, i know you are. but it's time. ♪ [ laughter ] >> jimmy, this is the final rose tonight. when you're ready. >> jimmy: before i make my

decision, i just want to say that every one of you is fashionable and wearable in your own special way, but i can only choose one. i've done a lot of soul-searching, and i've decided to give this rose to -- ♪ the. ♪ silk tie. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] would you go around my neck? chris, will you tie this for me? >> you don't know how to tie a tie? >> jimmy: no, i do not. [ laughter ]

>> jimmy, i'd be honored. ♪ ♪ even when i find myself a million miles away ♪ ♪ don't you know all roads will lead me back to you ♪ >> jimmy: i can't thank you enough for this. >> my pleasure. >> jimmy: i've never been happier. >> you look it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks to chris harrison. watch chris on "bachelor in paradise" mondays at 8:00 on abc. he helps those guys too. he's just a helper. that's what he is. you know, i love to cook and i think i may have found a new cooking mentor. her name is auntie fee.

she became very popular after posting a cooking video online. there are several videos of auntie fee online. i've seen all of them multiple times. if you're not yet familiar, here she is making chicken wings. >> so what are we doing now? ? this is a bag of chicken. this chicken is still frozen. okay? and this is parsley. dried parsley. you see that [ bleep ] right there? this will make any [ bleep ] taste good, okay? i don't have time to be waiting on the sprinkles and all the that. what you got to do, you mix all this up. see the water in there and all that [ bleep ] there? put it in a pan. put it on 50. cook for about 2 1/2 hours. 3 hours if you want it to just fall off the mother [ bleep ] bone. [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: needless to say, i fell head over heels in love immediately. we tracked auntie fee down. joining us now live via skype from her kitchen in south central l.a., please welcome

annie fee, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] before we begin, please tell us how to correctly pronounce your name. >> you know how you say i ain't going nowhere? >> jimmy: yes. >> okay. i'd like the audience to just repeat after me. ain fee. >> jimmy: ain fee. >> there it is. >> jimmy: i love your videos. i watched them all and i couldn't wait to get them on the show. your son is running the camera right now, right? tavis. can we see your cameraman, tavis? i think he's an important part of the equation. there he is. he's a handsome kid. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for doing this, guys. you're going to make us a five-minute meal. so what is in the five-minute meal? >> i'm going to do you some shrimp. i got you a salad.

i have you some fried bread. open it up like this. the camera better be on me, we only got one shot at this. [ laughter ] jimmy, are you there? >> jimmy: yeah, i'm right here. tavis is not getting close enough on the food, i think. >> get on the food! [ laughter ] i'm sprinkling some of my secret seasoning on it. >> jimmy: what's in the secret seasoning? what's in there? >> salmonella, how about that? >> jimmy: delicious. okay, all right, so you've seasoned the shrimp. these are big shrimp. >> i've seasoned the shrimp. i'm going to show you. this is really good, really easy. you don't eat too much different stuff. i already washed my hands, so the people won't know. i'm not going to force anybody, but here we go. >> jimmy: what are you frying those in? >> okay, butter. you know i do butter. >> jimmy: okay, butter. all right.

>> just a little bit, though. while i'm doing that, i'm going to get you some bread right quick. >> jimmy: okay. >> garlic bread. >> jimmy: you made that garlic bread? >> yes, i did. >> jimmy: what's in the -- never mind. >> boy, you better be over here. [ laughter ] okay. look. see how it's kind of pink around there? >> jimmy: yeah. >> they're pretty much done on one side. >> jimmy: right. >> i just turn them over. because you could be, i'mma get me, i'mma go use the bathroom. only take about five or ten minutes to use the bathroom. you want something to eat when i get out. i'm like, okay, have these ready by the time you get out the bathroom. are you there? >> jimmy: yeah, i'm right here. >> say something, so i know we're communicating. >> jimmy: sorry. i didn't want to interrupt. >> jimmy, look at the, um, shrimp right here.

>> jimmy: yeah. >> look. >> jimmy: what is that you're squirting on them? >> it's lemon juice. make them sweat a little bit. get ready. >> jimmy: it's gonna be hard to follow this recipe at home. [ laughter ] you won't tell us any of the ingredients. it does look really good actually, i have to say. >> i put my seasoning on the shrimp. >> jimmy: you did. >> i wasn't going to tell you that. i don't know what else you want me to tell you. i told you about the bread. it's just garlic and butter. here go your bread coming out. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> it's hot. okay? this right here. >> jimmy: yes. and that's it? >> okay. are you with me? >> jimmy: yeah, i'm with you. >> we got shrimp, garlic bread, and a salad. >> jimmy: oh, okay.

>> hey, on me! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you don't like -- [ laughter ] are you upset with tavis? did he do something wrong? >> the show is about food, not about you. you supposed to be showing -- >> hold on, hold on. we getting a little disrespectful. [ laughter ] i cooked real nice this time. okay? on your salad it's lemon juice. >> jimmy: lemon juice, that's all, huh? that's the dressing? >> i don't want you to put no dressing on it or -- oh, yeah, a little bit of my seasoning on there. that's about all you're going to get. >> jimmy: a little salmonella on there. here in the studio, guillermo has just brought me what remains of the shrimp you sent over. there's no shrimp left. >> i ate the whole thing.

>> jimmy: he ate the whole thing. how was it, guillermo? >> it was great. >> jimmy: it was very good? >> yeah. >> jimmy: well, thanks, aunt fee. i got a new favorite aunt. ufc lightweight heavyweight champion john "bones" jones is here. we have music from the mighty mighty bosstones. and we'll be right back with chloe grace moretz. so stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ nothing will keep you from magnum. made with silky vanilla bean ice cream, rich caramel sauce

and belgian chocolate. discover magnum chocolate pleasure. the summer that summers from here on will be compared to. so get out there, and get the best price guaranteed. find it for less and we'll match it and give you $50 toward your next trip. expedia. find yours. ♪ you can ring my bell [ male announcer ] sometimes you just need to spice things up.

ring my bell. ring my bell. [ male announcer ] new oscar mayer deli fresh bold. made with 100% turkey breast and real cajun spices. ♪

♪ ♪

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. tonight on the show is a vicious man who takes on an unfortunate gentleman named daniel cormier for ufc 178 on september 27th, jon "bones" jones is here with us tonight. [ applause ] we have music from boston's finest, the mighty mighty bosstones from the at&t stage led by our announcer dicky barrett on vocals. you introduced me. i'll introduce you later. it's a good arrangement. tour starting this friday in

salt lake city - then onto denver, seattle, portland, san francisco, l.a., las vegas, st. louis and chicago. i'll be joining the bosstones on my bass clarinet tonight. and i'm taking it very seriously. i was up very late last night. got both of my arms completely covered in tattoos. tomorrow on the show mickey rourke, jornada brewster, and music from banks. you're invited to that too. our first guest tonight is a very talented young woman who started acting at the age of 5, overcame a very serious addiction to juice boxes, and went on to star in the movies "kick ass," "carrie" and "diary of a wimpy kid" among others. her latest is the big screen adaptation of the best-selling book "if i stay." >> i like to watch your face. you go to another place. and you're beautiful.

♪ you get this crease in your forehead right there. >> why do i have this feeling you're about to mess up my entire life? >> a little rest never hurt anybody. >> jimmy: very romantic. "if i stay" opens in theaters august 22nd, please say hello to chloë grace moretz. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> how have you been? >> jimmy: everything all right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: congratulations on the movie and all of this stuff. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you're still in high school. you're a senior now, right? >> i'm starting senior year in about a week or two. >> but you go to home -- you don't go to home school. you wake up at home school, i guess. >> yes, exactly. i walk to my living room. >> jimmy: you take the bus into your kitchen. >> yeah. my mom packs me a lunch. >> jimmy: will you go to home college after that? >> no. i'm actually going to try to go to nyu or something. >> jimmy: you are? >> maybe. we'll see.

>> jimmy: it will be weird studying amongst other people. won't it? >> it would be strange. not my mother. >> jimmy: why do you feel you need to go to college? i think you're all set. i don't think it's necessary. >> i kind of want to go to college to study cinematography and film editing. >> jimmy: okay. i hear chapman college is real good for that. [ cheers and applause ] it's a little inside audience joke. these four girls think their school is as good as usc. >> ooh, that was low. >> jimmy: last time you were here, you were learning to play the cello for a role and it turns out the role is this movie. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and you really learned to play the cello. >> yeah, i studied for about seven months on it and practiced with it. it would be kind of silly to say i in seven months learned such a classical instrument because it's incredibly intricate. but it was really mainly -- the seven months were kind of

learning the passion that cellists have when they play and kind of the emotive -- >> jimmy: do cellists have passion? >> a little bit. just a little bit. >> jimmy: it seems like the opposite of passion to me. but what do i know? i'm a clarinet player. they're the most passionate. >> oh, are they? >> jimmy: oh, yes. of all the woodwinds. it is widely regarded -- do you like classical music? >> yeah, i do. i kind of like all kinds of music. i'm not really biased on what kind of music. my family kind of looks to me for music advice, though. >> jimmy: they do? >> yeah. for my brother's wedding i kind of deejayed. >> jimmy: so you were there and doing this and stuff? >> yeah. i was doing this on my macbook. scrolling through itunes. >> jimmy: i deejayed my brother's wedding as well. >> really? did he pay you? because he didn't pay me. >> jimmy: no, of course he didn't pay me. did you want to be paid? >> kind of. in his defense i did walk away

from my computer like after song two. >> jimmy: yeah, that's not a good thing. did you put it on shuffle or something? >> it went to britney spears. i'm like here we go, we're good here. >> jimmy: everybody just danced. that doesn't ever work, really. it's a weird thing. >> it kind of does. >> jimmy: did it? >> yeah, i was like the only sober one there, so they're all partying to britney spears and don't even know what the song is. >> jimmy: i see. why didn't your brother hire a deejay at the wedding? >> he's kind of a penny pincher. he's also my business manager. that's why i was kind of like, you're always asking me to save money, so why aren't you passing me 20 bucks for deejaying? >> jimmy: because he too is saving money by giving you nothing. >> really helpful. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i like that you're a full-fledged movie star and you're still shaking your older brother down for money. >> i'm like, where's my money! >> jimmy: at least a tip would be nice. what do you play? what are your go-to songs?

>> my big go-to song, gypsies, tramps and thieves by cher. >> jimmy: oh, my god. i now see why you didn't get tipped. >> just because i like a little bit of cher in my life. all you people want to bring me down. >> jimmy: is that song danceable? >> i don't know. it is for me. i'm like -- ♪ gypsies, tramps and thieves i get down. >> jimmy: i think you may have started a new dance there. so it's one of those movies that anyone who's over 18 does not know about this book that was very popular, and now they're making this movie, there's this -- i want to say underground, but there's this huge group of mostly girls who are very, very excited about this. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you get caught up in that tornado? >> a little bit. today we reached number one on "usa today's" bestseller in books. >> jimmy: when you say "we," you

did not write the book. [ laughter ] >> obviously, i wrote the book about my husband that i fell in love with. kind of what happened. >> jimmy: but you feel like you're part of the deal. >> not at all. >> jimmy: but interest in the movie has moved the book. >> yeah. it's exciting. it's a great movie. what's interesting about it, it's not -- you know, it hangs under the label of y.a., young adult novel, young adult movie, but it's a lot more than that. men, women, my mom loved it. my older male agents loved it and were crying. so, like, i kind of feel like, you know, people will -- all kinds of people will like it. >> jimmy: you certainly got an unbiased sampling between mom and your agent. >> he's like fake crying. >> jimmy: the most beautiful thing i ever heard. he's texting under the seats. >> i hate this movie. >> jimmy: so are the kids driving you crazy right now? the fans. >> no. it's awesome to see an influx of 12 and 13-year-olds that i've never had before. because most of my fans are like

from "kick ass," so it's like, you know, the older male demographic. and i'm not used to little girls. i'll have a signing going on. i'll have an older man, then i'll have like a 12-year-old. it's a nice juxtaposition. >> jimmy: i guess so. it sounds weird, but i'll take your word for it. well, if you want to sit and play cello with the mighty mighty bosstones, i'm sure that would be all right? >> dicky: sounds terrific. >> i'm really good at it. >> jimmy: it's really good to see you. congratulations on your big movie. chloe grace moretz, everybody. "if i stay" opens in theaters august 22nd. we'll be right back with jon "bones" jones. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ r less. there's a reason it's called an "all you can eat" buffet... and not a "have just a little" buffet. because what we all really want is more. that's why verizon is giving you even more. now, for a limited time, get more data!

1 gb of bonus data every month with every new smartphone or upgrade. our best ever pricing with the more everything plan and 50% off all new smartphones. like the htc one m8 for windows or android. built to inspire envy. come get your more with verizon. new all-you-can-eat be the fcrosscut ribspplebee's and discover their tender bone-in flavor. just don't be the last to try them and their three irresistible sauces. i'm serious. do not be the last person. new crosscut ribs are now all-you-can-eat for a limited time. only at applebee's. and come in late night for half-price apps.

enjoy dinner with dancing. make mealtime more memorable. save $3 on select bags of iams® dog & cat food. at petsmart®. this is colossal pumped up mascara from maybelline new york. our biggest brush wraps lashes with a double collagen formula, root to tip. lashes amplified. for our most filled-out volume... colossal pumped up! maybe it's maybelline. why let erectile dysfunction get in your way? this is the age of knowing what you're made of. talk to your doctor about viagra. ask if your heart is healthy enough for sex. do not take viagra if you take nitrates for chest pain... ...it may cause an unsafe drop in blood pressure. side effects include headache, flushing, upset stomach, and abnormal vision. to avoid long-term injury, seek immediate medical help for an erection lasting more than four hours. stop taking viagra and call your doctor right away if you experience a sudden decrease or loss in vision or hearing. this is the age... ...of taking action. viagra. talk to your doctor.

take and... exhale.in... aflac! and a gentle wavelike motion... aahhh- ahhhhhh. liberate your spine, ahhh-ahhhhhh aflac! and reach, toes blossoming... not that great at yoga. yeah, but when i slipped a disk he paid my claim in just four days. ahh! four days? yep. find out how fast aflac can pay you, at aflac.com. in awhen does the mercyon... rule come into effect? new fusion proglide rebuilt with flexball technology. makes maximum contact, and gets virtually every hair. gillette.

band-aid brand comfort these ksheer bandages.out new our most stretchable sheer bandage ever. watch this! 50% more stretchable than an ordinary sheer bandage. so they fit snug and stretch to protect even tough spots like elbows, knees, and knuckles, from dirt and germs. they bend and stretch as much as kids do. ♪ i am stuck on band-aid brand, ♪ ♪ 'cause band-aid stretches with me! ♪ new band-aid brand comfort sheer bandages. use with neosporin antibiotic.

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: still to come, the mighty mighty bosstones. our next guest earns a fine living by beating people up. he defends his light heavyweight title versus daniel cormier at ufc 178, september 27th, live on pay-per-view. please say hello to jon "bones" jones! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: it's heavy. wow. that's really heavy. >> what's up, jimmy? >> jimmy: kind of awesome. why do they have belts for -- seems like the one time you don't need a belt is when you're wearing shorts, and yet here it is. [ laughter ] this thing is really heavy. >> it's like 17 pounds, man. >> jimmy: how does it work? when you hold the belt, do you have to give it back when you retire or, god forbid lose? >> no -- yeah, god forbid. >> you keep this? >> yeah. i've won eight world titles. and i have the same belt. so that belt is worth eight world titles. >> jimmy: you get a new belt each time you win? that's a rip-off. >> what's up with that? i think it's a lot better than having a ring. >> jimmy: it is better than a ring. it's harder to wear. it's harder to wear through the airport security line. >> it looks a lot cooler. my brother plays with the indianapolis colts and we're always bragging about which one's cooler, a ring or a belt. he won the super bowl with the patriots. [ applause ] >> jimmy: yeah.

>> so i think his ring is real diamond and stuff, so he wins. >> jimmy: i don't know. i don't you could always beat up. >> i could. >> jimmy: your brothers are nfl players. can they fight too? >> my older brother arthur, he actually trains with me in the off-season. my little brother is more of a lover. >> jimmy: he is. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how often do you train? what's the regimen? >> i train about four times a day. >> jimmy: really? that's too much. i think that's too much. >> it works. i say i don't work out. i outwork. yeah. >> jimmy: and what does it consist of? >> every morning i do some style of martial art, whether it's jiu-jitsu, wrestling, bocking, kickboxing. in the afternoons i do swimming. other days i'll do like cross-fit style training. and then at night i'm working with my coaches doing like private studying sessions or -- >> jimmy: i'm surprised by the swimming part of it.

is that in case you have a fight in the ocean? get attacked by a great white or something? >> no, swimming is a great exercise. it works your cardio and it's light on your muscles, so you can stretch yourself out, recover, while getting the cardio blast. >> jimmy: i see. you swim like in an olympic type of pool? >> yeah. i actually swim in a high school with high school students. it's kind of edward. weird. >> jimmy: really? you go to high school, but our last guest doesn't. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] you swim with high school students. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that must be strange for them that you're there swimming with them. >> it was really weird at first. like i had high school boys trying to take pictures with me in the locker room and stuff. i got to lock my jewelry up and stuff. you're back in high school. but it's really cool. i love it. the guys are used to seeing me around now and they just make fun of me, how bad of a swimmer i am. >> jimmy: oh, they do? >> i'm terrible. the worse swimmer you are the better the workout. because you're like fighting the water the whole time. >> jimmy: like you're constantly drowning.

>> yeah. pretty much. they keep me in the shallow end. >> jimmy: there was an incident at a press conference and it was all over everything. maybe you can tell us what happened here. it was you and cormier, the guy you're going to fight. >> so this is dave shallower, the head of the fufufc pr department. and his job is to make sure the staredown goes well. that didn't go well. >> jimmy: why did he shove you? >> my opponent, i don't think he's used to fighting in these big fights. he was just really anxious and like nervous. i saw that it was going to be a really intense staredown by the way he was looking across the stage at me. i'm like what are you going to do? i'm not going to back off. we go head to head and he karate chops me in the neck. i can't let that happen. >> jimmy: no, no. >> being the champion, i've got to kind of stand my ground. so next thing you know, people are getting pushed and it's like a -- >> jimmy: do you think he did it to attract attention? or do you think he -- do you think he premeditated it? >> i don't know.

i've fought for a lot of world titles and this is his first time. so i think his emotions got the best of him and he reacted. and i reacted. >> jimmy: you don't like him? true? >> i do not like him at all. not even a little bit. >> jimmy: why don't you like him? >> it was so weird. like, actually, i had no problem with him at first. i met him backstage at brock lesnar versus cain velasquez fight. i heard he was an olympic wrestler. and i wrestled out of junior college. so obviously he has an advantage being an olympic level wrestler. >> jimmy: sure. >> so i go up to him just trying to start conversation. i'm like, olympics, huh? he's like yeah, i wrestled in the olympics. i was like i bet i could take you down any day. and i had no clue he'd be so prideful. he took serious offense to the fact i didn't know whoa was initially and i didn't respect his olympic medal. it was fourth. i'm not even sure what was that that you get when you take fourth? >> jimmy: nothing. you just get the ribbon. no medal attached to it. it's a weird thing. [ cheers and applause ]

>> yeah, so i guess he was upset i didn't respect his ribbon. [ laughter ] and yeah. >> jimmy: you got to respect a man's ribbon. that one's on you. so you will beat him? >> of course. >> jimmy: you're much bigger than he is. >> a lot taller, a lot younger, a lot faster. >> jimmy: all of those things. you have much longer arms. ronda rousey -- >> oh, i love that gal. >> jimmy: yeah. some people say -- it's kind of a crazy thing. but that she could beat a man. >> she'd beat you for sure. >> jimmy: definitely. [ laughter ] i mean, just say for the record, i said "a man." [ laughter ] i mean a professional fighter. >> yeah, she's tough, man. she's literally one of the toughest people that walks this planet today male or female. she's a medalist in the olympics. she actually has a medal. [ laughter ] and yeah, i think her fight time average is like two minutes. like no one can make it out of the first round with this woman. she's phenomenal.

check her out, guys, ronda rousey. she's amacing. >> jimmy: she is unbelievable. as are you. and it's great to have you here. thank you for coming and thank you for this beautiful belt, i really appreciate it. jon "bones" jones, ufc 178, september 27th, live from las vegas on pay per view. and tickets go on sale friday. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> the "jimmy kimmel live!" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. g for a p. it has to be a great one, and i don't compromise. ok, how about 10 gigs of data to share, unlimited talk and text, and for a family of four, its $160 a month. wow, sounds like a great deal. so i'm getting exactly what i want, then? appears so. now, um, i'm not too sure what to do with my arms right now 'cause this is when i usually start throwing things. oh, that's terrifying at&t's best-ever family pricing. for instance, a family of four gets 10 gigs of data, with unlimited talk & text, for $160 dollars a month.

new all-you-can-eat be the fcrosscut ribspplebee's and discover their tender bone-in flavor. just don't be the last to try them and their three irresistible sauces. i'm serious. do not be the last person. new crosscut ribs are now all-you-can-eat for a limited time. only at applebee's. and come in late night for

half-price apps. [ male announcer ] since we began, mercedes-benz has pioneered many breakthroughs. ♪ breakthroughs in design... breakthroughs in safety... in engineering... and technology. and now our latest creation breaks one more barrier. presenting the cla. starting at $29,900. ♪ ♪ starting at $29,900. [laughter] you're next. play the 5 gum truth or dare challenge and you could win a sensory adventure. my 2in1 helps me unlock it. the imagination is a powerful thing. it's a laptop when i'm a writer and a tablet when i'm an illustrator.

creativity comes in many forms. and this intel processor lets me adapt to it. ♪ that mr. clean once wrote a book about them.any messes, not only do they clean everyday dirt, they clean a lot of unexpected stuff too. like scuffed up shoes, tough stuck-on sticker gunk, and lots more. in fact, his book got so full... he made a website instead. share your magic eraser tips at mycleanbook.com

>> dicky: if you're going to be in the l.a. area and want to see the show call 866-jimmy-tix or go to jimmykimmellive.com. you fifteen percent or more on huh, fiftcar insurance.uld save everybody knows that.

well, did you know words really can hurt you? what...? jesse don't go! jesse...no! i'm sorry daisy, but i'm a loner. and a loner gotta be alone. heee yawww! geico. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. jesse? and this is its wingman.friend. you can't have one without the other. bonnie and clyde. they go together. if you don't have a clean bum, what do you have? feel a clean so fresh it can only be cottonelle. they like to put a.1. on pork but not beans. they also like to sit on the same side of the booth.

you don't have to like everything the mctaggarts like. put a.1. on whatever you want. a.1. for almost everything. almost. break the ice, with breath freshening cooling crystals. ice breakers. get 4 lines for just a hundred at&tbucks.'t?

with unlimited talk, text and now up to ten gigabytes of 4g lte data. so much for at&t's 'best ever' family pricing. t-mobile's got 4 lines for a hundred bucks. up to 10gb of 4g lte data so make the switch to t-mobile. we'll even buy you out of your service contract so you can get four lines for a hundred bucks today.

nds] the wait is over for even faster internet. xfinity is now doubling the internet speed... ...on two of our most popular plans. xfinity continues to innovate, bringing you the fastest, most reliable internet...period. xfinity internet from comcast, now double the speed.

(vo) ours is a world of the red-eyes. (daughter) i'm really tired. (vo) the transfers. well, that's kid number three. (vo) the co-pilots. all sitting... ...trusting... ...waiting...val. ...for a safe arrival. introducing the all-new subaru legacy. designed to help the driver in you... ...care for the passenger in them. the subaru legacy. it's not just a sedan. it's a subaru. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right.

i'm not playing on this song. they won't let me. but i'm playing on the next one, whether they like it or not. you can see these guys on tour this summer. starting this friday night in salt lake. and saturday in denver. here with the song "they will need music" from "the magic of youth," the mighty mighty bosstones! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ the weight of the world at least that weight would only be increased ♪ ♪ beyond what mortal men would dare to bare ♪ ♪ even though the weight was great they stormed the beach and then they ♪ ♪ crashed the gate and after

there was music in the air ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ they will need music to uplift it'll be a godsend it'll be a gift ♪ ♪ and hope and glory to coincide they'll need the strength and ♪ ♪ warmth and comfort that the music will provide ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ giving everything they had and then sometimes you'd have to give again ♪ ♪ other times there's nothing so to speak ♪ ♪ they rose to the occasion it was cause for a celebration ♪ ♪ and the celebration lasted for a week ♪

♪ they will need music to uplift it'll be a godsend it'll be a gift ♪ ♪ and hope and glory to coincide they'll need the strength and warmth and comfort ♪ ♪ that the music will provide ♪ ah-ah-ah ah-ah-ah ah-ah-ah ah-ah-ah ah-ah-ah ♪ ♪ they will need music to uplift it'll be a godsend it'll be a gift ♪ ♪ and hope and glory to coincide they'll need the strength and warmth and comfort ♪ ♪ that the music will provide

♪ they will need music to uplift it'll be a godsend it'll be a gift ♪ ♪ and hope and glory to coincide they'll need the strength and warmth and comfort ♪ ♪ that the music will provide ♪ [ applause ] >> jimmy: that is the mighty mighty bosstones. i'm going to play this thing next. we'll be right back. ♪

>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live!" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. hey can you t! that's our new interactive speaker wall. 'sup? thinks it's a speak-ing wall. this can even dim your lights. your 3-d--printed girlfriend will love that. real mature. there you go. a laser drone for cats. i wish i had lasers. i don't. pew pew pew... the new radioshack is finally here. the store of your past is now the store of your future. come see one of our remodeled stores and save 50 percent off skullcandy headphones. or get a 20-dollar gift card with air raid speaker purchase.

>> jimmy: i'd like to thank chloë grace moretz, jon "bones" jones. i want to apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next, but first, here with the song "the impression that i get," the mighty mighty bosstones! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ have you ever been close to tragedy or been close to folks who have ♪ ♪ have you ever felt a pain so powerful so heavy you collapse ♪ ♪ no well i've never had to knock on wood ♪ ♪ but i know someone who has which makes me wonder if i could ♪ ♪ it makes me wonder if i've never had to knock on wood and i'm glad ♪ ♪ i haven't yet because i'm sure it isn't good ♪ ♪ that's the impression they get ♪ ♪ have you ever had the odds stacked up so high you need a strength ♪ ♪ most don't possess or has it ever come down to do or die you've got to rise ♪ ♪ above the rest ♪ no

♪ well i never had to knock on wood ♪ ♪ but i know someone who has which makes me wonder if i could it makes me ♪ ♪ wonder if i've never had to knock on wood and i'm glad i haven't yet ♪ ♪ because i'm sure it isn't good that's the impression that i get ♪ ♪ i'm not a coward i've just never been tested i'd like to think ♪ ♪ that if i was i would pass ♪ look at the tested and think there but for the grace go i ♪ ♪ might be a coward i'm afraid of what i might find out ♪ ♪ never had to knock on wood but i know someone who has which makes me ♪ ♪ wonder if i could it makes me wonder if i've never had to knock on wood ♪

♪ and i'm glad i haven't yet because i'm sure it isn't good ♪ ♪ that's the impression that i get ♪ ♪ ♪ i've never had to ♪ but i better knock on wood cause i know someone who has which makes me ♪ ♪ wonder if i could it makes me wonder if i've i've never had to ♪ ♪ i better knock on wood ♪ and i'm glad i haven't yet ♪ i'm sure it isn't good ♪ that's the impression that i -- that's the impression that i get ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

this is "nightline." tonight, surrogacy inc. for some couples it's the only way to have a child. stars like sarah jessica parker and ricky martin had their kids through surrogacy. but now one woman is on a quest to stop it all. >> i take the position we shouldn't be doing this. >> tonight we go inside the anti-surrogacy movement. is the business of making babies getting too big? plus, shake it off. taylor swift has a new anthem. ♪ shake it off ♪ shake it off the pop princess is revealing the inspiration for her latest hit.