kim kardashian. we appreciate your time. >> have a good night. from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." [ cheers and applause ] tonight, kim kardashian. damon wayans jr. and jake johnson. and music from disclosure. with cleto and the cletones. and now, and that's not all, here's jimmy kimmel!.f [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you very much. thank you for showing up. [ cheers and applause ]

they say, that's half the battle. i appreciate that. i need that little boost because i apologize if i'm a little bit sluggish. i was out real late last night. i went to see jay-z and beyonce at the rose bowl. it was me and three women. my sister-in-law, my daughter and my wife. we all got in the car, we drove to the rose bowl. and i knew i was in for an educational night when i heard my wife say, i can't wait to see all her different outfits. [ laughter ] i turned around to see if she was kidding and she was not kidding. she really couldn't wait to see all the different outfits. which is hard for me to relate to because you know, when i go to the rose bowl it's for football where you have more than 100 guys wearing a total of 2 outfits. they're all wearing -- even the fans are wearing the same outfits as the players. beyonce, last night i think she wore 100 outfits herself. and they were great outfits. for one song she wore what they call assless chaps which makes no sense. they definitely weren't assless. they were full.

they were -- [ laughter ] she also had a biker outfit, a cop outfit. except for the construction worker, she dresses all the village people. jay-z, at one point i think he put on a jacket. that was about it for the costume changes. but he was great. and their stage show is phenomenal. between every other song they showed she's videos, great videos starring either beyonce or jay-z, or jay-z and beyonce together. and they were autobiographical. apparently they met on a motorcycle in the desert. [ laughter ] beyonce also had these great quotes up on the video screens during her performance. with feminist messages. one of them said, because i am female, i am expected to aspire to marriage. i am expected to make my life choices, always keeping in mind that marriage is the most important. why do we teach girls to aspire to marriage and we don't teach boys the same? which i thought was an excellent point. until an hour later when beyonce started singing, "if you like it

you should have put a ring on it." [ laughter ] and then that went south. [ cheers and applause ] but the show was spectacular. really one of the best concerts i've ever been to. i have to say standing there watching this incredibly talented husband and wife on stage together, doing this amazing show. and all i could think of was how much sonny and cher sucked. [ laughter ] by comparison. you know? our generation got screwed. [ laughter ] my wife was going on and on about beyonce. i heard her tell her sister every song, every move. i was typing this on my phone as she was saying it. i fell harder and harder in love. not with me, with beyonce. should i be upset by that? she seemed way too excited to be singing "single ladies" also. so, i don't know -- i don't know what to think anymore. beyonce stole my woman last night. [ laughter ] speaking of single ladies, it was an exciting night here on

abc with a premiere of the new show "bachelor in paradise." i'm glad they're finally doing a bachelor show in paradise. normally, they do them in third-world countries and industrial parks. it's about time. this show, what they do is send a group of former "bachelor" and "bachelorette" contestants to mexico. as if the water down there isn't contaminated enough. to live together and pair up, or get thrown off. it's like bachelor by force. there are a lot of good-looking people on the show which made it hard for this young lady, lacy, to choose which guy to go after. >> there are two guys i'm attracted to. i have marcus, who i thinky4ñ i very intriguing. and i also have robert, who is a fun guy that gave me a really good first impression. but with marcus, he went on a date last night with sarah. and i don't know how he's feeling. so, you know what? i'm not sure. i'm 80/40. [ laughter ] [ applause ]

>> jimmy: you know what? you can make fun. but she always gives 120%. and i admire that. and then there was claire, another former member of the "bachelor" harem. who was so taken by all the natural beauty she was almost unable to process it. >> robert and i walked through the tunnel. and we walked out to this beautiful vista. >> whoa. >> i don't even know what a vista is but we walked out on to this vista. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: still, she was there. you know what? it's what's on the outside that counts. [ laughter ] sadly, "bachelor in paradise," is only six episodes long. so, there's only five left. as soon as it wraps up abc is premiering another "bachelor" spinoff that promises to be the most dramatic spinoff yet. >> they looked for love all over the globe. they found passion in paradise. and now your favorite

contestants from the "bachelor" and "bachelorette" search for their soul mates in the hottest locale yet. >> [ bleep ] put me in this situation. >> there's blood all over the floor. >> from the people who brought you "bachelor in paradise" and "the exorcist." >> this is a living hell. why are we here? >> welcome to an exciting new show. this is -- "bachelor in hell." >> this is [ bleep ] up. >> only on abc. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: some people criticize. this network for putting shows like this on the air. but the truth is, you can't always get down to the baboon exhibit at the zoo. sometimes they need to be brought to you. [ laughter ] you know, there are now 14 wildfires burning around the state of california. on saturday, governor brown declared state of emergency.

then yesterday, he raised that to a state of omfg, which is even worse. this kind of heavy fire activity usually doesn't happen until september around here. firefighters are blaming the effects of global warming, although, humboldt county is also on fire, which raises the possibility that maybe god is just trying to get high. [ laughter ] we did get some rain last night which you would think would help out. instead there were mudslides, there were floods, dirty puddles. it was like a tgi friday's drinks menu. [ laughter ] but i tell you something, this show must go on. we cannot be stopped by fire. kim kardashian is here tonight. [ cheers and applause ] make it easier to keep up with her when she's sitting right next to me. i'm excited to see her. believe it or not this is the first time i've seen kim since i was the flower girl at her wedding. [ laughter ] kim and i, we both have baby daughters. so, i challenged her to a diaper changing contest. and she has accepted. so, stick around for that. toronto mayor rob ford had a crazy weekend. they're all crazy. but on saturday, he was at the

caribbean parade in toronto. annual festival. they have caribbean food, music, culture. see if you can spot the mayor in the crowd. let's see. see if you can -- no, i don't see him -- i don't see him -- oh, there he is. shirt open. there's your bachelor in paradise right there. what's going on? [ cheers and applause ] where's his tie? oh, look at that dance. look at that. what do you call that? the something bit my finger dance? can we see just the dance part again? ow! guillermo, can you do that dance? you're a dancer. >> guillermo: yeah, i'll try. >> jimmy: give it a try. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: wow, that's enough. a little bit of jackie gleason there, actually.

here's another guy who knows how to have a good time. his name is james taylor. but he's not that james taylor. not by a long shot. he lives in hinton township which is western michigan. he's moving to california. so, on saturday he threw a big party at his family's farmhouse. more than 2,000 people showed up. according to the news, there was a lot of underage drinking, a number of drug overdoses. the police were not pleased. but james maintains this is not his fault. >> 20-year-old james taylor says it was a party for the record books, capturing these images while standing on the roof of his home with a crowd of roughly 2,000 people cheering him on. with two deejays, a fire thrower, go-go dancers, and strippers. he says he successfully threw the largest party ever to hit west michigan. >> i didn't force anything down anybody's throat. i didn't make anybody stay here until 7:00 a.m. or 11:00 or whenever it is everybody finally left. i didn't make this kid pass out on my floor. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: and i didn't call 911 either. if he doesn't move by thursday, call someone. speaking of parties, i want to take a moment to wish a happy birthday to president obama. the president turned 53 today, according to his birth certificate. [ laughter ] you know, the truth is president obama's actually 55 years old. but congress blocked his last two birthdays. but he spent his birthday weekend golfing with friends in maryland and relaxing at camp david. then tonight, i guess he blew out the candles on the gluten-free broccoli and carrot loaf from michelle, cried himself to sleep. she did let him smell a piece of cake. we wanted to do something special for the president's birthday. so, we went out on to hollywood boulevard today and asked pedestrians about some news items we made up. even though every bit of this is made up, the people you're about to see pretended they already knew about them in tonight's

obama birthday edition of "lie witness news." >> what did you think when you saw president obama give that famous press conference saying, it's my birthday and i'll dismiss congress if i want to? >> i was a little bit shocked. it's a little bit self-centered. but like i said, i guess he's up there so he can do whatever he wants. >> where were you when you saw that? did people think the same thing around you? >> i think we all just kind of went -- what? >> what did you think of this presidential birthday parade compared to u.s. presidential birthday parades in the past? was it excessive? >> looked awesome is it was, great. >> where were you when you watched the presidential birthday parade? >> i was in my hotel room. >> was it financially irresponsible that congress spent $500,000 on trick candles? >> yes. yes, yes, yes. there's other things that they could have spent that on. for something like that i feel it's irresponsible and lack of being professional, as far as the -- like with the congress. >> was it even worth it that president obama called in the

national guard to extinguish those candles? >> yes. yes, absolutely. >> was it right of president obama to pardon 53 convicted felons on his 53rd birthday? >> i mean, we don't know -- i don't know, anyway, what they did or why they're being pardoned. so maybe -- he's been saving them up, people who needed pardons for a big celebration. >> so solidly okay? >> probably. >> were you excited when you saw that instagram of president obama in the oval office this morning? >> i was extremely excited. me and my girlfriend. >> what did your girlfriend do when she saw that historic picture of president obama in the oval office ball pit? >> she started screaming and jumping on the bed. >> what did you do? >> what did i do? i just looked at her and smiled. >> what did you like better, president bush's crazy rodeo birthday party on the white house lawn? or president obama's slip 'n

slide birthday? >> president bush's crazy rodeo birthday. >> was it cute how colin powell let president bush lasso him? >> very cute, very cute. >> did president obama look angry tearing apart that vladimir putin pinata? >> he really did. i know just how he feels. >> do your best impression from what you saw of president obama just hitting that pinata, destroying it. >> like that, like just a mean look. >> was it right for president obama to send that unmanned drone to just kill a couple of goats, very old goats, in azerbaijan today. >> really, that's what he did today? okay. so he made that decision to use a drone for that type of purpose? loving the gop side of everything, but hey. this issue is that we have to test our products on goats. rather than on people. and say, oh, we shot a couple of people today.

come on. >> were you scared when you saw that viral clip of congresswoman nancy pelosi falling off the pony for obama's birthday pony ride? >> yes, i was. >> where were you when you saw that? >> actually, my daughter showed me in the car. >> oh, my god. was she freaked out? >> yeah. she's like, is she okay? >> she's not. >> i know. i didn't really know how to put it. i'm like, she might be. >> was it right of president obama to pardon 53 inmates on his 53rd birthday? >> i think that was a little over the top. i think that was a little over the top. that's why -- kind of sultanish, you know. but it is what it is. >> where were you when you saw that? >> i -- i heard about it. i didn't really see it. my girlfriend told me about it and we talked about it. >> she's in the loop. >> she's more in the loop than me, actually. >> does your girlfriend work for "jimmy kimmel live"? >> no. >> that's surprising. seems that's where she's getting her information. oh, yes.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: just as valid a news source as anybody else. tonight on the show, damon wyans, jake johnson, music from disclosure featuring sam smith. we'll be right back with kim kardashian. so, stick around! [ cheers and applause ]

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, there. tonight on the program, dynamic duo you know from the show "new girl." now they have a movie together. it's called "let's be cops." damon wayans jr. and jake johnson are here. two very funny guys. [ cheers and applause ] and then, music from two brothers who are very popular right now. their song is called "latch." their album is called "settle." disclosure from the at&t outdoor stage. then we'll be joined by the great sam smith tonight. tomorrow night, ted danson will be here.

eva green will be here. music from jake owen. later this week mickey rourke, chloe grace moretz, jordana brewster, music from banks and the mighty mighty bosstones. that is our announcer, dicky's, band. [ cheers and applause ] starting this friday night, correct me if i'm wrong, in salt lake city, and denver on saturday. >> dicky: exactly. very good. >> jimmy: i got it right. our guest tonight is a pop culture phenomenon with tv shows for every member of her family and more bath robes with the letter "k" on them than maybe anyone in the whole world. you can monitor her every move on "keeping up with the kardashians," sundays at 9:00 on e! please welcome kim kardashian! [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] you look great. >> thank you. >> jimmy: thank you for coming. >> thank you for having me again. >> jimmy: so much has happened since the last time you were here.

i feel like you tricked me also. you said you were getting married in france when you were on the show. then bam, you got married in italy. >> we tried to trick everyone. >> jimmy: you did. >> it got leaked. you know. that kind of sucked because we really wanted to surprise everyone and just tell them that they've all been fooled. and it's really in a different country. >> jimmy: and you weren't able to surprise -- but it's -- >> kind of we did. some people had no idea. i feel like there were so many stories out there that no one even knew what to believe at that point. >> jimmy: you had the rehearsal dinner in versailles. >> yes. >> jimmy: then you went to florence for the wedding itself. >> yeah. >> jimmy: which is -- yeah. which is a big deal to start with. but i would be so nervous to have my family at versailles. i mean, the security deposit alone. somebody vomits -- >> somebody breaks a mirror in the hall of mirrors, yeah. it was honestly -- it was the most amazing experience. just to be able to share that experience. just with so many family members and friends that i don't think ever would have, you know, had

that opportunity to come out to paris. we kind of wanted everyone to be on this love journey with us because we fell in love in paris. i got pregnant with our daughter in florence. so, we kind of wanted to share our love story with all of our friends and family. and i think everyone just really had an amazing time. >> jimmy: did everyone behave themselves? >> um -- [ laughter ] khloe, the night before versailles, drank a little too much. i had to wake her up. she was laying down sleeping, getting her makeup done for the wedding. i'm praying she'll get up in time. >> jimmy: getting makeup done while she was sleeping? >> while she was sleeping. they had to do it while she was sleeping, she was so hung over. >> jimmy: like what coroners do. [ laughter ] >> yes. they do. >> jimmy: wow. >> they do. but i think everyone just had such a good time at versailles that they just drank way too much. >> jimmy: that's the danger of

the rehearsal dinner being too much fun, is that people are a mess for the actual wedding day. >> yes. >> jimmy: this i thought was interesting. this is "intouch" magazine, "inside kim's wedding from hell." i guess this would show us a lot of the terrible things happened, according to this. kris, your mom, was drunk all day. kanye threw a fit and walked out. bruce humiliated you. wedding crasher. and this -- your dress didn't fit. >> i think i tweeted about this. because what's so crazy is, that's a re-enactment. that's not even me on the cover. and it says "re-enactment." and "photoshopped." >> jimmy: this thing was published five days before your wedding. [ laughter ] and yet -- yes, look at this, it says "kim's worst fear, the dress didn't fit." i don't know if you can see, it's so tiny in the corner. >> photo recreation. >> jimmy: photo recreation, wow.

>> that doesn't look like me. did i ever -- was i changing in front of someone and they got that picture? i was so confused. and then -- >> jimmy: if you're confused, imagine how confused other people are. >> yeah. that's kind of wrong. i mean, i think it's so just lame of that magazine to do a recreation. like -- it's just lame. >> jimmy: yeah. i mean, doesn't sound like they're very in touch at all. [ laughter ] sounds like they're downright out of touch. [ cheers and applause ] >> they are. they are. >> jimmy: there was also a story that kanye gave a very long toast, a 45-minute toast, that was about himself. is that true? >> no. it was about 20 minutes. >> jimmy: okay. [ laughter ] >> it wasn't about himself. it was about us and everyone that was there. and he -- we had this long table that everyone was eating at on the wedding and instead of having place cards we engraved everyone's name in this marble table. so, he was explaining to

everyone that we engraved their names because everyone is engraved in our hearts and everyone that's there was so special to us. so, it was really about everyone that was there. >> jimmy: that's smart, too. because at my wedding people moved their place cards around because they didn't want to sit -- there's no way when it's engraved in marble. >> someone canceling last minute and not telling us. and there's, like -- >> jimmy: who did that? whose name was engraved -- >> i didn't want to add anyone. someone did. >> jimmy: wow. i think it was probably pretty conspicuous. >> we tried to put white paint and cover the name. >> jimmy: it didn't work. >> no. >> jimmy: what about gifts? did you get gifts from everyone? did people bring you gifts that you then have to truck home? >> they didn't bring gifts. but we got a couple of gifts. >> jimmy: did you get anything terrible? any terrible gifts? >> no terrible gifts. and i wouldn't say. >> jimmy: did you get anything that struck you, this is the greatest gift ever? >> actually, right before i left there was this huge crate that was in the -- in our garage. and it was a big -- these

photographs from steve mcqueen. and i thought that was so amazing that we can put in our new home. they were beautiful. and then we got -- it was so embarrassing. i don't know how to tell my mom this. but we live with my mom still. >> jimmy: still with the mom, huh? wow. >> still with my mom. and there's a piece -- our trainer sent us -- >> jimmy: maybe when kanye's career starts going well, you guys can -- >> we're going to move out soon, i swear. we just -- house drama. >> jimmy: i'm sorry, you said what happened? our trainer sent us this piece of workout equipment. and my mom thinks that it was for her. and she's been like raving about this piece of equipment that got delivered for her. she doesn't know who it's from. i feel so bad to tell her it's a wedding -- she's going to know after this. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> it's really a wedding gift and she e-mailed the trainer and thanked her. asking if it's from him. and thanking everyone that it could possibly be from. and the trainer e-mailed me, like what do i say? because she thinks it's for her. >> jimmy: has to come up with

another piece of exercise equipment. that's all there is to it. >> i think i'll give that to her for rent for staying at the house. >> jimmy: yeah, engrave her name on it. so, that she knows it's yours. oh, by the way. i think you tweeted this today. it's a very cute picture of your baby, north, and your husband there in the recording studio. [ cheers and applause ] take your daughter to work day. do you change the baby? do you do all the motherly things that mothers do? >> everything. i'm actually obsessed with changing diapers. but as you'll notice later, now it's like i feel like i'm in the pit -- what is it when the tire changers, they have to change the tires so quickly. because when they get older -- like she does not want to sit to get her diaper changed. >> jimmy: i had an incident yesterday where my baby daughter

began urinating like a fountain -- the trevi fountain, like i didn't know girls could do. >> i haven't seen that. >> jimmy: maybe i got a weird one, i don't know. call a plumber or something. i swear to god that happened. it's all over the roof. so, wouldn't it be fun if you and i faced off and had a diaper-changing competition. >> i would love that. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: when we come back. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] my 2in1 helps me unlock it. the imagination is a powerful thing. it's a laptop when i'm a writer

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hey pal? you ready? can you pick me up at 6:30? ah... (boy) i'm here! i'm here! (cop) too late. i was gone for five minutes! ugh! move it. you're killing me. you know what, dad? i'm good. (dad) it may be quite a while before he's ready, but our subaru legacy will be waiting for him. (vo) the longest-lasting midsize sedan in its class. introducing the all-new subaru legacy. it's not just a sedan. it's a subaru. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're back. kim kardashian is here. you ready for this? >> yeah. >> jimmy: guillermo, bring us a couple of practice babies. i'll show you the steps. thank you, guillermo. we must be gentle with the babies. guillermo's our baby wrangler and nurse. >> i usually take my ring off. >> jimmy: you can take it off. why don't you have guillermo hold that just in case -- well, it will be all right. >> it's all right. [ laughter ]

>> jimmy: worth more than versailles. [ laughter ] all right. so, the key, we're going to do, we're going to take off the onesie. we will remove the diaper, which hopefully doesn't have anything in it. we will then dispose of the diaper here, in this garbage. then, we will take a baby wipe. we will wipe from -- is it back to front or front -- whichever way it goes. we will dispose of the wipe. and we'll put on a fresh diaper and then put the baby over here into your crib. whoever has the most babies at the end of 90 seconds will win. okay? >> okay. >> jimmy: are you ready? guillermo, give me a baby. >> i'll start with this one. >> jimmy: thank you very much. >> are we going? >> jimmy: no, we're going to put the time on the clock. are you ready? your mark, get set, go. oh, i'm already behind. [ cheers and applause ] how am i doing, guillermo?

>> guillermo: you're doing great, jimmy. >> jimmy: i am? thank you. i'm a little behind. i think i was a little bit rough throwing the baby into the crib. wipe, wipe, wipe. oh, the babies are crying now. >> my baby shockingly doesn't cry. >> jimmy: you got a very quiet baby. [ cheers and applause ] can't get the paper off. thank you, guillermo. >> guillermo: jimmy, you should hire a nanny. >> jimmy: thank you, guillermo. you should hire a nanny better. i feel like i'm catching up. the baby -- oh, mine's peeing! [ cheers and applause ]

>> oh, my gosh. >> jimmy: mine peed a little. >> mine better not pee. >> jimmy: my daughter peed higher than that, i swear to god. thank you. >> ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm soaking wet. congratulations. guillermo? there's the prize. >> oh! >> jimmy: "keeping up with the kardashians" sundays on e! we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] the concert series is presented by at&t, mobilizing your world. concert series is presented by bes. its ten gigs of data to share with unlimited talk and text, and for a family of four, its $160 a month. $160 a month? sign us up.

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm very wet all the way down my body. damon wayans jr., jake johnson, music from disclosure, featuring sam smith, are on the way. before we get to them, here's something you may enjoy especially if you're a fan of rap music. oftentimes the lyrics in pop songs can be questionable taste-wise. it's part of the fun. but whenever i hear a particularly filthy song, i always think about the fact that these rappers were babies who were peeing on their adoring

mothers at one point. from time to time, we ask the moms of famous hip-hop artists to recite the lyrics to their children's songs. tonight mom to the rapper known as tiga reads lyrics to her baby's popular song "rag city." >> hi, i'm tiger's mom. and this is my song's song "rag city." got my other bitch [ bleep ] with my other bitch. tomorrow night we ain't celibate. make it sound too dope i ain't selling it. bar fresher than a [ bleep ]. letterman laugh king killing [ bleep ]. young money young money, yeah, we getting rich. i gotcha grandma on my [ bleep ]. ha, ha, girl you know what it is. woo, that's my boogie, i love him. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is her boogie. be right back with damon wayans

jr. and jake johnson. [ cheers and applause ] get more music from tonight's artist from get more music from tonight's artist from itunes.com/disclosure. wherever n and this is mine. this intel based tablet does anything i need precisely when i need it. when you've got a whole team depending on your split second reaction performance matters. this intel processor helps win championships. ♪

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: still to come, disclosure, featuring sam smith. our next guest played best pals and roommates on the tv show "new girl." now, they play best police friends in the movie "let's be cops." it opens in theater august 13th. please welcome damon wayans jr. and jake johnson. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] you guys are fighting already. >> well -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you dress so much the same, too. >> yeah. we do a lot the same. >> we do too much the same. >> jimmy: you do. you're on the tv show together all the time. now, not only were you in the movie, you're out promoting the movie together. >> i know, i know. >> jimmy: would you consider yourself a comedy team now? >> yeah, kind of like a marriage a little bit. >> let's stick with team. >> this is like a marriage,

that's a comedy team. >> jimmy: would one of you be upset if the other went off to do a project on his own? >> if he didn't check with me. yeah. >> it's actually kind of true. it's getting to the point where we always check in with each other. if we don't it's a little weird. it's almost embarrassing. >> it's super embarrassing. >> jimmy: wow. how about that? >> he -- every time he's like -- talks about his wife, i kind of get a little jealous. >> jimmy: yeah. >> why would you get jealous? >> kind of like -- you know. >> jimmy: you shouldn't be talking about your wife in front of damon. you really shouldn't. >> my god. >> jimmy: he's your new partner now, it's called being a team. >> okay, i respect that. >> jimmy: i understand. i know how it works. we'll have drinks later, we'll discuss it, damon. >> that okay? >> yeah, that's okay. >> jimmy: i know you are very close friends in real life. >> yeah, we've become it. >> jimmy: you didn't know each other before the show, right? >> no, we did the pilot of "new girl" together. and we had a lot of fun doing

it. >> i went off, i did "happy endings" for two seasons, for the movie. [ cheers and applause ] >> so, we hadn't worked with each other like two years before the movie came into play. while we were shooting the movie, jake begged me to come do another season. >> i didn't beg you. "please do it, please do it, please, please, please, i'll leave my wife." >> i was like, i don't need you to leave my wife. >> i'll need my wife! >> i said you would be that thing on the side. >> no, you didn't. i'll leave my wife, i'll put drugs in my butt for you. >> what in your butt for you? >> jimmy: exactly. >> so that was my pitch to get damon back to "new girl." i'll leave my drugs and i'll put drugs in my butt for you. >> jimmy: that would make a great greeting card. was this a moment when you realized that it was meant to be between the two of you? >> well, yeah. during the pilot, damon did something really funny. so, that was my first big job

and i was very nervous. and damon was somehow less nervous. and there was a scene with zoe and max where they're doing something serious. we're in the background. you can't really laugh and clown around if you're in the background. it's important. >> no. >> but we're not on camera. we're doing the lines. i look over and damon's front looks perfect where the whole crew is. his back, his butt is out. so, i'm seeing a guy i just met two days before, his bare butt cheeks. and i can't go, like, your butt cheeks are out, man. i had to deal with it. >> i'm flexing them, too. getting little dimples in it. so, it's like my line being, come on, you can have a good night. i'm seeing his butt cheeks going in. yeah, he left for "happy endings." >> jimmy: the fact that damon knows he has dimples in his butt, means you're looking in the mirror and doing that, right? >> yes. that's a great point. >> what's wrong with that?

>> jimmy: in this movie, you guys play buddies again who put on police uniforms. >> yes. >> jimmy: and pretend to be -- i have friends who actually have done this. >> do you really? >> jimmy: yeah. yeah. >> did they go to jail? >> jimmy: no, no, they did not. they got into comedy. [ laughter ] but you guys start doing this, tell everybody the idea of the film. >> basically, the movie is about two early-30 guys, who are down on their luck, dress like cops, people believe they're cops. they start liking it. >> loving it. >> they don't take the costumes off. then they get into a lot of trouble. >> some crazy stuff happens in this one. >> jimmy: there is a -- i hesitate to call it love scene. but there is a scene in which -- it's a wrestling scene? >> yeah, it's damon's favorite scene. >> it's not my favorite scene of all-time. >> damon begged to do it. i love this. i love this. >> no, i didn't. all right, you can tell -- >> it's in the hardware store. >> jimmy: sumo wrestler. >> he's not a sumo wrestler, he's just a really big guy from samoa, buck-naked, super sweaty,

i'm supposed to tackle him to the ground. when i tackle him he winds up on top of me. and then he tries to get away but he's like going -- like sliding up my body. >> my view at this point, the man was sweaty. and actually naked. because we were fighting for the movie to be rated "r." they pitched an underpants version. >> we were like, that's not as funny. >> you said that. you were like, it's not as funny. i want that man's underpants off. >> i did not say that. >> yes, you did. i was right there. you go, it's funnier if his junk is in my face, it's also my childhood dream. >> that's not what i said. >> i'm damon wayans jr., i can't have this guy's junk in my face unless it's a movie. but if it's a movie, i'm so happy. >> so, the dude gets undressed. we look at his, you know. genitalia. >> this is a sad but true story. >> honestly, it was a little disappointing. but in the script it says, a big samoan with a big unit.

>> yeah. >> this was our lowest point of our friendship. because the guy takes off his robe. he's not blessed. >> yeah. >> well, i think we went into a corner to talk about it. just, i don't know, i expected more. >> it doesn't matter, really doesn't matter. i'm actually happy it wasn't long because i didn't want anything sliding up my face. >> i'm sure he's good, a good actor. >> jimmy: it's good we explained this clip because we wouldn't have been able to show it. the movie is "let's be cops." it opens august 13th. we'll be right back with disclosure and sam smith. [ cheers and applause ] the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t, mobilizing your world.

♪ ♪

♪ [ cheers and applause ] the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t, mobilizing your world. >> jimmy: i want to thank kim kardashian, damon wayans jr., jake johnson. i apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next. first their album is called "settle." here with the song "latch" with an assist from sam smith,

disclosure. [ cheers and applause ])áh ♪ ♪ you lift my heart up when the rest of me is down you you enchant me even when you're not around ♪ ♪ if there are boundaries i will try to knock them down ♪ ♪ i'm latching on, babe now i know what i have found♪ los angeles, how are you doing? [ cheers and applause ] sing to me. ♪ i feel we're close enough i wanna lock in your love i think

we're close enough could i lock in your love baby ♪ ♪ now i got you in my space i won't let go of you got you shackled in my embrace i'm latching on to you ♪ ♪ now i got you in my space i won't let go of you got you shackled in my embrace i'm latching on to you ♪ ♪ i'm so encaptured got me wrapped up in your touch feel so enamored hold me tight within ♪ ♪ your clutch how do you do it you got me losing every breath

what did you give me ♪ ♪ to make my heart beat out my chest ♪ ♪ i feel we're close enough i wanna lock in your love ♪ ♪ i think we're close enough could i lock in your love, baby i feel we're close enough i wanna lock in your love ♪ ♪ i think we're close enough could i lock in your love, baby now i got you in my space i

won't let go of you ♪ ♪ got you shackled in my embrace i'm latching on to you now i got you in my space ♪ ♪ i won't let go of you got you shackled in my embrace i'm latching on to you ♪ ♪ latching on to you i won't let go of you latching on to you i won't let go of you ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ i'll be giving up, oh home is where the heart is and i gave it to you in a paper bag ♪ ♪ even though it's tarnished you told me it's the best you ever had you got my ♪ ♪ secret combination and i don't be giving that out easily with my deepest dedication ♪ ♪ you can tell that you have brought the same for me ♪ ♪

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