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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  August 27, 2014 11:35pm-12:38am PDT

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the next newscast is at 4:30. up next on jimmy kimmle, general neither aniston. we appreciate your t >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- jennifer aniston. barbeque master adam perry lang. and music from bob mould with cleto and the cletones. and now, sit back and relax. it's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for coming.
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we're all in this together. hey, i'll tell you something, we have a great lineup of guests. this would be a good night to watch till the end of the show, because we have a couple of fun surprises in store. jennifer aniston is here with us. [ applause ] i have been a huge fan of jennifer's since i saw her in the movie "leprechaun" and we did an interesting thing. we have members of the paparazzi going through the trash in her dressing room. also tonight, i hope you aren't hungry, because barbecue master adam perry lang is here. hey, adam. [ applause ] what are we making tonight? >> i'm cooking up some monster steaks and some fun stuff with whisky. >> jim: do you have all the ingredients you need? i could stop at the store. >> i might need you to. >> jimmy: go into your yard,
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light your grill and cook along with adam perry lang tonight. i came up with a new recipe over the weekend that no one has ever done before. my niece and nephew were in town from kansas city, which gave me an excuse to have froot loops in the house. normally i don't have them because i would eat the whole box in one sitting. i was making pancakes and i decided as a treat i would add fruit loops to the pancake mix. so i mixed up the batter and poured a quarter of a box of froot loops in and mixed that up and poured the pancakes on the griddle and the kids went nuts. if you have kids or stoners living in the house, trust me on this one. [ applause ] i'm not sure if you've heard, but we have a new bachelor here at abc. his name is chris soles.
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he is the farmer from iowa, which can appropriate considering abc is milking this show for every drop. but here he is, farmer chris. he's ready for a roll in that hay -- wait, that's not him? this is him. [ applause ] yeah, i guess he's popular. what does this guy farm, dimples? it must be weird to be a farmer from a small town in iowa in this position. he's basically baiting the entire population of his hometown. good luck to chris. we can't wait to join you on the amazing journey that lies ahead and if it goes well, one lucky lady will be taken to feed goats in iowa. apple is secretly developing a new product rumored to be the largest ipad they've ever made. it's said to be 12.9 inches
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across, and it will be the first ipad that folds out into a full-size bed. [ laughter ] i just spent a lot of money getting the small ipad and now there's a big ipad i'm also going to get. they come with a preshattered screen for that cool, broken in look. 12.9 inches, it doesn't sound big, but it is big. it seems excessive and it's going to make those people that take pictures with their, pad look even more ridiculous. like this woman. this is what it's going to look like with the new ipad. [ laughter ] that's it, hold still. there we go. perfect. so go buy that. or save $900 and just hold your current ipad a little closer to your face. this is something i happened
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upon. urbana, illinois, they have an annual sweet corn festival, but the corn was not half as sweet from this local report from the reporter. >> oh, my gosh, downtown urbana, corn is what everybody is craving. there's a line behind me of people waiting to get their ears and corn is what everybody is caring about this year. one ticket can buy you your own ear of corn and now i great to try mine. that was good. >> was it good? >> great. >> yeah. >> audio award goes to -- i think we might need to start that again and break it down, because there's so much. >> downtown urbana, corn is what everybody is craving. there's a line behind me of people just waiting. >> no, there isn't.
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>> to get their ear. and corn is just what everybody is caring about this year. >> maybe not everybody. maybe just those five people standing there. >> one ticket can buy you your own ear of corn and now i finally get to try mine. >> she did not eat that corn. let's rewind that and see that again, because as you see, right here, not even a tenth of a kernel made it into her mouth. >> ask her, is it good? >> is it good? >> great. >> jimmy: she doesn't know pause her face is frozen shut. must believe a fun dinner date. this is alarming. according to a new report from the united nations, the damage from global warming could be er re -- irreversible.
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it paints the most dire picture yet. they're say thing's a chance we can't stand in front of the refrigerator with the door open for 20 minutes to figure out what we need to eat. it's clear we need to do something, but we're unable to solve anything. we need to give the earth the ice bucket challenge. it's a stunt created to raise awareness of als. you dump a bucket of ice water on your head, make a donation and challenge three other people to do the same. it's been hugely popular and very successful. they've raised almost $100 million and given birth to some funny youtube videos, like this. >> [ bleep ]!
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>> jimmy: give your friend a concussion and cure a disease. even little kids have been getting involved. this is a 2-year-old from birmingham, england. >> ahhh! [ bleep ]! >> jimmy: take some of that isles water and wash the mouth out with soap. and while those are a lot of fun, in my opinion the best challenge yet was completed by our producer jason. we were at the emmys together monday night. tell us what happened when you got home. >> we were feeling festive, i was nominated to do the ice bucket challenge by our friend danny. seemed like a good time to do this. i was in a tuxedo, feeling different, the kids wanted to do it. so my wife shot this. >> jimmy: this is what he posted on facebook. >> all right, here. post emmy awards, we're here
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with jason. take it away. >> i'm accepting danny's ice bucket challenge post emmy. i just lost, but it was a great time. here we go. >> you've got to nominate. who are you nominating? >> chris williams, terry chatman and ruby. >> stay tuned for that. >> go ahead. >> jimmy: now, the reason the video stopped there is why, jason? >> i don't know what she was thinking. i think she thought she was taking a picture or something. she hit the button just as we're about to do the thing. >> jimmy: now watch jason's face when he realizes he's been doused with freezing cold water for no reason because his wife didn't get it on tape. >> oh, no, i stopped recording. i think i stopped recording. oh, no.
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[ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: some ice bucket challenges are more challenging than others. it's good, because if you get jason wet after midnight, he can turn into a little monster. i've enjoyed that's bucket video thing. i thought it would be fun to give all of our staff the chance to take part, whether they wanted to take part or not. so we had my cousin sal go around the office with a bucket of ice and we let the cameras roll. >> thank you for donating. >> you didn't donate. now you have to donate. >> don't forget to donate. >> [ bleep ]! >> it's tax deductible. >> ice bucket!
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now you have to donate. >> i work at security. i don't make that much money. >> here, fill the bucket. >> ahhh! [ bleep ]! >> it's for charity, relax. ♪ >> don't do it. where did you get water? >> what do you mean, where did i get watter? >> come on, i've got to think about this wrchlt did you get so much water? god bless you? >> you picked my lock. >> i did pick your lock. all right, let's grade. >> yi don't know what to do. >> this is really bad, right?
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>> yep, back to work. >> don't forget to donate. >> oh, [ bleep ]! >> ice bucket! it's going to be all right. >> thank you. >> madelyne's daughter. >> in new york. >> i'm about to dump a bucket of ice on her. [ laughter ] >> [ bleep ]! i thought you were kidding.
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>> oh, come on! you got me. you really got me. i used to be so good at this. [ applause ] >> jimmy: if you would like to donate to fight als go to projectals.org. tonight on the show, chef adam perry lang. we have music from bob mould, and we'll be right back with jennifer aniston.
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>> jimmy: welcome back. tonight on the program, one of the greatest barbecue chefs in the world. his best-selling and mouth-watering book is called "serious barbecue." our pal, chef adam perry lang is here. we're going to barbecue chuck steak with a whiskey caramel
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glaze out on hollywood boulevard, which was just named least sanitary place to prepare food in the united states. then, his latest album is called "beauty & ruin." bob mould from the at&t stage. [ applause ] you can stream the first date of his upcoming tour, live from philadelphia, on sept 5th. tomorrow night, emmy-winner aaron paul and fresh off his win for "best male video" at the vma's, ed sheeran will be here. and friday, we've got an all-new show for you, kathy griffin will be with us. from "ray donovan," vinessa shaw. and we'll have music from sharon van etten. so join us then. our first guest is an emmy and golden globe-winning actress who friended millions of americans long before facebook was even a glimmer in mark zuckerberg's eye. she co-stars alongside tim robbins and mos def in the comedy thriller, "life of crime." it opens in select cities, on itunes and video-on-demand friday. please welcome jennifer aniston. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: they're excited. >> that's great. >> jimmy: calm down, you animals. and you smell really good, too. i don't know if you can smell jennifer from there, but very nice. thank you for being here. very good to have you here. >> i love being here. >> jimmy: i love having you here. >> how do you feel? you're a new father. >> jimmy: that's right. >> and i got to meet that little jane a couple weeks ago. she's a cute little baby. >> jimmy: thank you. she is cute. i don't know -- >> i think she really likes me.
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>> jimmy: she didn't scream when you held her. >> no, she slept. she made little squeaky sounds. there was a moment of a little thundering kind of explosion. oh, that means she really trusts me. i find that as a good sign. >> jimmy: really? because you get upset whenever i do that. >> it's a little different. >> jimmy: you even offered to come to the delivery room to help my wife with the delivery. my wife couldn't believe that you would do something like that for her. >> really? >> jimmy: yeah. >> haven't we all gone to our girlfriend's delivery room? >> jimmy: i haven't. >> that's sad. >> jimmy: that was a very nice thought. >> i would have been there in a second. i've been to many of my girlfriend's deliveries. it's extraordinary. when the breast milk starts coming in. >> jimmy: you do like that?
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i didn't like that that much. >> it's not just me, women like that. >> jimmy: why? >> because it -- i don't know. because you got milk. it's like the one milk you don't have to feel guilty about drinking. like no, that dairy is okay. but i had some of molly's -- >> jimmy: yeah, you did. i didn't know if you wanted me to mention that, but you did. you breast fed my wife. >> i didn't breastfeed her, she breast fed me. >> jimmy: she tasted it. >> i did. >> jimmy: which i spend a lot of time trying to avoid tasting it. >> you have to admit you have by now? >> jimmy: no. >> jimmy, you've got to belly up to the bar, man. you do. it's so sweet. >> jimmy: but it's supposed to be for my daughter. what if i like it and i drink all of it? i'm a pig. >> start putting it in your coffey. >> jimmy: that's why i have to
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put my fruit loops in the pancakes. how would you describe the flavor compared to cow's milk? >> it's a little like -- what if molly's tastes different than anybody else's? >> i don't know. >> it's sweet. it's almost coconut milky. >> jimmy: really? >> someone must have tasted breast milk in this audience. no? >> like soy milk. >> jimmy: but in his language, that means, i am milk. [ applause ] over the weekend, your fiance took the ice bucket challenge. >> yes she did. >> jimmy: and he channelllenged. were you upset?
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>> no, i was not. >> jimmy: it's so much colder than you think it would be. >> and it was a lot of it. >> jimmy: a lot of people i think they chicken out and maybe don't let the ice sit in there for a while. but you really went for the cold ice water. >> i didn't, but he did. >> jimmy: oh, i see. >> i didn't choose that. >> jimmy: i see. so that was somebody else's decision. i got you. you challenged howard stern. >> i did. >> jimmy: which i know and -- >> and courteney cox. >> jimmy: and howard believes that it was going to kill him if he did it. and he said -- >> what was his -- >> jimmy: he said something to the effect, the human body is not supposed to be shocked like that, extreme temperatures could kill you. and then he did it because you challenged him, which was remarkable. >> and matt lauer. it was the two -- he challenged
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him, as well. but i like to think that -- >> jimmy: you were the one that pushed him over the em. then he challenged barbara walters and kasem, who is recently deceased. and he didn't take it. so barbara walters, this could easily kill her. >> don't say that. >> jimmy: then technically, her blood is on your hands. you killed barbara walters. >> that sounds like an oddly good title of a movie. like "i killed andy warhol." >> jimmy: wow, everybody's dead. >> except you and me. >> jimmy: you didn't kill him, did you? >> i hope not. >> jimmy: i watched your movie. it's really, really good. i don't want to give too much away. >> it's a really fun caper. >> jimmy: i think i can say you
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play a woman that gets kidnapped and they asked the husband for $1 million and he doesn't want to give it. >> he's having an affair and he doesn't care. which i think is a funny twist. >> jimmy: we're going to show a clip from the movie when we come back. and i have a big favor to ask you. >> oh, god, should i cut your hair again? >> jimmy: no, but i have a big favor to ask you, and i hope it's something you'll go along with. but if not, feel comfortable. you've already drank breast milk. jennifer aniston is here. we'll be right back.
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you got something going with that guy? >> he's a friend of the family. >> he must be the god father, bringing you martinis to your bedroom while your husband is away. >> how come he didn't call the police? >> i don't know. he could be dead. or in a coma. you hit him with something, right? >> we checked. he let himself out. >> so now, we're waiting on our partner. >> jimmy: that is jennifer aniston! the new movie is called "life of crime" opens in select -- it opens on i tunes and in select
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cities. who selects the cities? >> it's a grab bag. >> jimmy: you don't pick the favorite places you ever visited? and the movie came out really great. you should be proud of you. and i don't mean to turn the attention to myself, but i'm going to. in the '90s, i was a big fan of the show "friends." [ applause ] and i love the show so much that i actually wrote some fan fiction. you foe what that is? >> no. >> jimmy: we use the characters from like -- if it was "star wars" you would use those characters and work yourself into it. >> as yourself or a character in -- >> jimmy: n >> jimmy: in this case as ross. so i wrote the script and i was wondering if you would do a scene from it with me.
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>> you mean read lines with you? >> jimmy: a little bit more than that. >> what do you mean, more than that, jimmy? >> jimmy: like a lot more than that. [ applause ] >> what is this? what is this? >> jimmy: this is an exact replica of the kitchen from the show. i actually spent $80,000 making it to the tee, every detail is correct. >> this is a -- that's amazing. jimmy do -- >> jimmy: again, i'm going to play ross. >> oh, god. >> jimmy: and we'll start right here on the first page. >> oh. >> jimmy: and so here we go.
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action. okay, you start. >> ummm. ross -- >> jimmy: oh, wait, sorry. i forgot something. the rachel wig. [ applause ] >> i'm not wearing that. >> jimmy: all right. >> i've got boundaries. >> jimmy: okay. go. >> ross, you look sad today. what's the matter? >> jimmy: rachel, we haven't made love in months. how about we make love right now. [ laughter ] your line. >> i know, jimmy. i know it's my line, but this is a really stupid line. >> jimmy: is it dumber than living in a huge apartment in new york city for eight years,
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even though you work at a coffee shop? >> okay. fine. yes, ross, i would very much like to make love to you. >> jimmy: wow, that is great news, rachel. and perhaps after our love making we can meet our group of friends, like monica and phoebe and all have breakfast together like normal people do all the time. go on, go on. >> yes, let's meet our friends but not until we have made love several times because you are very good at it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thank you. that was not a joke. [ applause ] >> go on, go on. >> jimmy: you're right, rachel, i am good at making love.
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>> oh, god. what -- [ applause ] are you kidding me, now you dragged court into this? >> jimmy: that's not court, that's monica. >> hi, ross, everyone is talking about how good you are at making love. >> jimmy: they are? thank you. >> yeah, you're said to be so good at it that sometimes i wish you would make love to me. >> jimmy: monica, i can't make love to you, you're my sister. >> darn! >> i don't understand this. >> jimmy: that was very good. [ applause ]
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>> hey. are you guys talking about how good ross is at making love without me? >> jimmy: we are. >> oh, my god, this is so stupid. >> jimmy: this is not stupid and only i get to press the button. can we just do this, please? why, hello, friends, so good to see you, phoebe and monica. >> good to see you, ross. but more importantly, how you doing? like that's joey's catch phrase, why am i saying it? >> because i wrote the script and there is no joey. >> where is joey and chandler? >> jimmy: they're dead. marcel the monkey bit them and gave them rabies and they died.
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can everyone please act like you've been on a tv set before and read the lines? this isn't imprompt camp, this is television. >> rachel, you seem upset. >> jimmy: yes, rachel, cheer up, it's like we always say, so no one told you life was going to be this way? >> are you really, really -- your job is a joke. you're broke, your love life's d.o.a. don't do this. >> but it's like you're always stuck in second gear. >> jimmy: when it hasn't been your week, your month, or even your year. but -- >> i'll be there for you. >> jimmy: thank you, rachel. and that's why we're all friends. [ applause ]
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now we break for a commercial, we come back and all make out. >> good night, everybody. >> jimmy: wait, wait, hang on a second. there's no exit, there's to exit. we have 22 more pages here and the love making scene. >> make love to yourself, jimmy. >> jimmy: well, it looks like i'm all alone, again. it always seems to end this way, doesn't it? oh, what a lonely boy i am. but that's okay. maybe i'll just do my own show. i'll call it "friend." [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: jennifer aniston, courteney cox, lisa kudrow,
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>> jimmy: our next guest is so good at bbq, animals actually throw themselves on his grill begging to be cooked. his book is called "serious barbecue." it is just that. please welcome chef adam perry lang. hello, adam. [ applause ] thank you for coming. what is this, are we going to make friendship bracelets? >> we're going to do monster chuck roast steaks with whisky caramel sauce. >> jimmy: i love it already. >> we're going to tie it together. just individual that string underneath. and do like a double tie twice. >> jimmy: just double knot it? >> yeah, i'll hold it. and then tie it over my finger. >> jimmy: okay. then we throw your finger on the grill? all right.
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>> awesome. this is a type of cut, i use certified angus beef. this is one of those cuts where any butcher or supermarket has it, but you have to ask for it. it's great flavor. >> jimmy: you tell them what? >> can i have a whole chuck roll. you're basically going to cut here and here on both sides of the steak. >> jimmy: okay, cut it right down there? >> there you go. >> jimmy: i love it. and continue or no? >> exactly, go straight through. we'll just do one steak. then we have the steak here. it's pretty sizable. like half the price in terms of what you would find in terms of rib eye. we're put it in a marinate.
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pour that marinate in and you blend it and it's garlic, onion, soy sauce, white vinegar and olive oil. keep it for maybe six hours minimum but overnight is cool, too. >> jimmy: you can throw this in your trunk, too? >> it would probably make it taste better. but because it has a lot of salt in it already, i just season it with black pepper. so go ahead and season it. >> jimmy: all right. i like pepper. >> pat it down and throw this baby on the grill. >> jimmy: and that is the biggest grill i've ever seen. wow, look at all that meat. that is nice. >> while this is cooking, one of my favorite combinations is whisky and beef. >> jimmy: it's such a time saver because you can eat and drink at
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the same time. >> together, it's a perfect combination. >> jimmy: you're right, it is. >> i put together this recipe. we created this whisky caramel. at first it seemed strange because you're putting caramel with meat, but when you take the meat off and you put it right into the sauce, it creates a really great glaze. >> jimmy: it's like a caramel apple but a steak instead. >> exactly. just what america needs. >> jimmy: yeah. >> how you make the caramel is take the sugar, add some water, make about a half cup of water and cook it until it's the same color as the whisky. then you add an equal amount of whisky. if you put one cup of sugar -- >> jimmy: you take a lot, yeah. >> then you cook it down and you put the butter in and you end up
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with this beautiful silky sauce. >> jimmy: will you get drunk making this or eat thing? >> no, because you cook off the alcohol and what's left behind is that woody, delicate flavor you get from the whisky. [ applause ] >> jimmy: try a little bit of that. good, right? >> this is great. >> jimmy: all right. >> we'll put it on the plate here. you take your steak. >> jimmy: how long do you cook that steak? >> about 40 minutes. you're cooking it close to medium. while it's hot, you put it right into the caramel. >> jimmy: that's nice. and how do you finish it, with that stuff? >> so what we're going to do here, i take a little bit of olive oil. >> jimmy: this is your thing.
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>> it captures all the juices and you create a great sauce at the end. then we'll just slide that into the oil and then we're going to slice it right into it. >> jimmy: all right. slice that up. let's see the proper way to slice. >> but the thing is this, there's a little string here, so you're going to cut the string away. >> jimmy: and you can floss with that afterwards. >> exactly. >> jimmy: that is nice. that looks beautiful. >> you just basically do double duty here. not only is it great -- here. let me give you a piece of that. >> jimmy: what are you doing, animal? oh, my god, that is great. >> you can also make a dessert. put the caramel right on the ice cream. >> jimmy: oh, it all comes together. there you go. chef adam perry lang. his book is called "serious
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barbecue." i'm sorry, i have a mouthful of meat. adam perry lang. be right back with music from bob mould.
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that $22.50. that's insane!d 50 cents. jack. what? it's not even a meal? right now, at my place you can get my spicy chicken club combo. it's my classic spicy chicken breast with bacon and melting cheese on toasted sourdough plus fries and a drink for just $4.99. aww, you're just a big softy. nah, i'm still sad about the popcorn.
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>> jimmy: i'd like to thank jennifer aniston, courteney cox, lisa kudrow, adam perry lang, and apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next, but first, his album is called, "beauty & ruin." the song is called "the war." here with some help from taylor hawkins of foo fighters, bob mould. [ applause ] ♪ ♪ and all these songs
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i write for you they tear me up it's not hard to do ♪ ♪ listen to my voice it's the only weapon i kept from the war from the war ♪ ♪ from the war from the war and i can soothe every ailment you endure ♪ ♪ and i can see into the future most assured i don't have a choice it's the only life ♪ ♪ i know after the war after the war after the war after the war ♪ ♪ everything we made
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reduced to dust you were the one who taught me most ♪ ♪ i carry your remains your emblem and your name nothing left will ever be the same ♪ ♪en ♪ ♪ and this war we fought was violent and long weeks turned into years but we kept on keeping on ♪ ♪ the ringing in my brain is what remains
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is what remains is what remains ♪ [ applause ] ♪ this war has worn me down broken dreams and a hole in the ground don't give up and ♪ ♪ and don't give in [ applause ]
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this is "nightline." >> tonight -- >> just one shot. >> the 9-year-old, the loaded uzi, and what happened next. the disaster that has stirred a raging debate about kids and guns. across america, children still losing their baby teeth are packing some serious heat. >> this one right here is my favorite. >> the parents say the more you know, the safer you are. but as you'll see tonight, things can go horribly wrong. plus, our journey to the gate of hell. here at ground zero of the ebola outbreak. the clock is ticking as this virus spreads. and

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