tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC September 4, 2014 11:35pm-12:38am PDT
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>> have a great night everyone. from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- sarah silverman. taraji p. henson. mean tweets nfl edition. and music from hunter hayes. with cleto and the cletones. and now, if it's all right with you, here's jimmy kimmel. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's very nice. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] i appreciate that. welcome. i'm jimmy.
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thank you for watching. thank you for coming. i cherish you. i'm glad you're in an enthusiastic mood. we have a very good show planned for you tonight. sarah silverman is on the show. for those of you who don't know. sarah and i dated -- during the whole paris hilton administration. we dated. [ laughter ] and we broke up. but we're cool. i hope we're cool, otherwise this is going to be very awkward. seriously, i'm especially glad that sarah's here tonight. we lost a comedy legend today. the great joan rivers passed away today. she was 81 years old. besides being a pioneer for women in comedy, joan was a lucky person because she loved her job so much. she never wanted to stop. she didn't have to stop because she was so great at it. i had the good fortune of having joan on the show, i think like six times. i want to show a clip from the last time she was here. she was so funny. keep in mind when you see this, this woman is 80 years old in
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this. what does your grandson want to do when he grows up. does he know yet? >> right now, he's 10. he wants to be a football player. but it's stupid. >> jimmy: what do you want him to be? >> gay. >> jimmy: you want him to be gay? >> i want him to be gay. who else is going to give a damn that i knew judy garland. [ laughter ] grandma, tell me all about judy garland. [ laughter ] melissa's adopting now. >> jimmy: she is? that has to be exciting. >> a very good friend of nicole kidman's. >> jimmy: okay. >> gorgeous. no humor. but god bless her. 125 feet tall. three pounds. always in a red pressure with a white face. looks like a ketchup bottle. [ laughter ] walks around -- [ laughter ] know humor. i mean, it must have -- i was wearing a mustard dress.
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we're condiments. >> jimmy: she was something else. my thoughts go out to melissa and her grandson. there's less pressure on him to be gay now. there's less pressure for all of us to be gay. we will miss you, joan. a new cast of "dancing with the stars" was revealed today. should i hold for applause? [ cheers and applause ] we're all a little down. i understand. this year's cast includes olympian lolo jones. mma fighter, randy couture, tommy chong and the guy who played charlton on "the fresh prince of bel air." alfonso rivera has a tough choice to make. when does he break out the carlton dance? he'll do tight for sure, right? do you do it during the premiere? on the first show? do you give people what they want? or do you make us weight? do you dangle it in front of us
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like the most delicious carrot imaginable? dragging us along for months until finally giving us the thrill of our lives in the grand finale against lolo jones. jaleel white was on the show a couple of years ago. he waited and he never got to do the urkle dance. tommy chong is partnered with one of the dancers, peta murgatroyd, who must be thrilled to be partnered with tommy chong. oh, good, i get to dance with a 75-year-old stoner. tommy's scores will not be high. but he most certainly will be. and another big announcement here today at abc. two new co-hosts on "the view," whoopi goldberg and rosie o'donnell, will be joined by nicolle wallace, and actress rosie perez will be part of the shouting, too. there will be two rosies on one show. does that make sense?
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[ laughter ] you think of the pour guy who has to write the closed-captioning. that's going to be a nightmare. the new retired host, barbara walters, planned to come back to the show for one morning, to pete the new co-hosts with a pillowcase full of soap. that's how she do. [ laughter ] we have a very talented musical guest here tonight. a young man by the name of hunthunt hunter hayes. he's only 22 years old. [ cheers and applause ] four grammy awards. and he plays more than 30 musical instruments. that seems like -- that's too many, right? i didn't know there were 30 musical instruments. but there are. he plays all of them. and here, now, to prove it to us, please welcome hunter hayes. hunter? [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> i think you might have took this a bit literal. >> jimmy: all right. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you don't play them all at once? >> i kind of prefer not to. but i'll keep going if you want me to. i'll keep going. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we'll figure it out and get back to you a little bit later. >> that's a better idea. i like that. >> jimmy: hunter hayes, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] his parents must have spent a fortune on lessons. this is funny. you know how you do your laundry and somehow you wind up a sock short? single socks disappear. know one knows what happened to them. we may have unlocked the secret on one of life's most mysterious puzzles. a great dane in portland, oregon, was rushed to the hospital where x-rays showed he had 43 1/2 socks in his stomach. he ate all of those socks.
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[ laughter ] 43 1/2 sox. that's a lot of weight watchers points. if you're missing a sock at your house, you probably have a tiny grate dane hiding somewhere in there. check everywhere. here in l.a., one of our biggest -- if not the biggest frustration, is traffic. traffic is bad. and it agitates people. and i assumed that los angelesos were the less stressed out drivers in the world. until i saw this video that was posted to youtube by a commuter in montreal. >> you wake up good in the morning. you know, you wake up in the morning happy, doing good to go to work. and then, when you -- at 6:00 in the morning, at 6:00, there's traffic. at 6:00 in the morning. not even at 7:00. to me, it's -- it freaks me out. the fact there's no way of fixing it.
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and anywhere you go, anywhere you go, there's [ bleep ] traffic. [ laughter ] who the [ bleep ] made this city? who made in city? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's terrifying. [ cheers and applause ] who did make this city? you know what? he would be a good new co-host for "the view." [ laughter ] here's something i hope you will enjoy as much as i did. this is from yesterday's dodgers game. dodgers playing the washington nationals. look at what the camera in the -- the side of the screen, as pitcher -- [ laughter ] relaxing on the dodgers biggest fan. let's take a closer look because -- [ laughter ] people photographing this guy. i don't know that i've ever relaxed as hard as this man is. he has two dos equis next to him. maybe he's the most interesting man in the world. [ laughter ]
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a blog that posted this photo, tweet said, bring that up there. look at the bottom. yes, this is a jimmy kimmel prank, i'm willing to bet money on it. [ laughter ] let me assure you that -- although i wish i had, i had nothing to do with this. how is that even a prank? [ laughter ] that's just a very confident man, amidst the wonder of our national pastime. a lot of local news programs, now, like to give the appearance of being interactive on social media. they'll post viewer tweets at the bottom of the screen. you'll see, you know, tweets come up on the subject of what they're commenting on. this happened during the sports report on the fox channel on houston's evening news. they were doing a story on michael sam, the first openly-gay player in the nfl. he was cut by the rams. he was signed by the dallas cowboys. keep your eye on the bottom of
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the screen. >> the team that finished fourth in williamsport, pennsylvania. the coaches will never forget. >> jimmy: tony romo, still the gayest player on the cowgirls. somebody at the station found that online and thought, let's put this up. i think their peabody award is in danger. that brings us to the following subject. the nfl season kicked off officially tonight. it's that magical time of the year when millions of americans transition from checking facebook at work all day to checking their fantasy football lineups all day at work. and nfl players seem to be tough. and they are tough guys. but they're also human. i think sometimes sports fans lose sight of that. in the old days, you'd go to the game and you'd yell things at the players on the field. nowadays, you can post nasty comments on twitter or whatever all the time. so, as a service to both the players and fans, we collected some of these nasty comments on
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twitter and put them all together for this very special, "mean tweets: nfl edition." [ cheers and applause ] >> the fact that it a celebration is a penalty pisses me off. thanks, terrell owens, you piece of [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] >> [ bleep ] you dwight freeney. i hope you break ribs off in the game. really? >> deshawn jackson is like, no matter how much money he makes, he won't stop shopping at express. >> deshawn golston is a -- >> dez bryant is a baby back bitch. >> keyshawn johnson must have ate the guys who used to cover him. that bastard. hey, whatever. >> michael strahan's teeth are having a middle school dance
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with where the boys stand on one side of the room and the girls stand on the other side. >> did brandon marshall really cry in his postgame interview? grow some balls, bro. [ laughter ] >> isn't steve smith like 50 years old? no. actually, i'm 35. >> terrell suggs looks like a penis. [ laughter ] >> hopefully a ball to your temple will knock the stupid out of you. >> i once caught a football. dot, dot, dot. lol, j.k. >> i hope he blows a hamstring tonight. that's not nice. >> clay matthews is a bitch. not playing to your thug. chalk that thing the [ bleep ] off and get in there. >> malcolm smith, you just won
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at safeway. ingredients for life. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, hello again. tonight, from the movie, "no good deed," which is a very scary movie. opens next friday. taraji p. henson is here. [ cheers and applause ] and then, he's only 22, and he's already a four-time grammy nominee. this is his latest album called "storyline." hunter hayes from the at&t outdoor stage. [ cheers and applause ] when i'm at home on the weekends, i wear the same outfit. [ laughter ] tomorrow, terry bradshaw will be with us. the trailer park boys will be here. and we'll have music from the
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kooks. join us for a new show tomorrow night. two weeks ago, our first guest won her second emmy, and accepted her award barefoot, like a kenyan marathon runner. her new comedy album, "sarah silverman: we are miracles" comes out september 23rd. please welcome sarah silverman. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> how am i? i am broken inside. >> jimmy: i know you are because we broke up. oh, no. not because of that. i know. because joan rivers was a friend of yours. and somebody that you idolized. >> yes. she was a hero to me. and i loved her very much. a lot of people, when they die
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at 81. you go, she was 81. she had an amazing life. but she wasn't done. she's, right now, was at her most vital -- >> jimmy: really was. >> i mean, my god. i tune into "fashion police" every friday because they were the most hard core jokes on tv. >> jimmy: sometimes you go like, oh, my goodness. yeah. and coming from an old -- a little old lady, made them pack even more punch. >> never stopped writing. and i -- i know that if she was here, she would want us to be here and be funny. and she'd probably want me to say, like, nice tie, who made it? calvin clown? i like that shirt. does it come in men's? oh, my god, jimmy. i love your hair. you have to tell me where you bought it. that's for you, joan. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: you know, i bought it from your back. [ laughter ] >> touche, my friend. >> jimmy: i think that's the way joan would have wanted it. not a reverent person. >> from your back. >> jimmy: i -- we were talking about joan today. and she sent you a nice e-mail after you won the emmy. >> that was last tuesday. >> jimmy: very sweet like that. a lot of people are -- you know, comics are coming up. they're resentful because, like, these are the new people. and i'm out. but joan was not like that at all. >> well, she loved, with her whole heart. and she also hated with her whole heart, which i loved. >> jimmy: you consider yourself very fortunate if you were on the loved side. >> yeah. you didn't want to get on her bad side. >> jimmy: that was quite a night, that emmy you won there. first of all, you seemed totally unprepared. >> i was unprepared. even my manager was like, you're
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not going to win. >> jimmy: really? >> i mean, i didn't even have shoes on. i had taken my shoes off. i was sitting indian style. is that politically correct? >> jimmy: native american style. >> i had my feet in the thing. >> jimmy: were you really? >> yeah. i was enjoying the show. i love the emmys because i love television. but they called my name. and amy and i looked at each other like, what? >> jimmy: i felt certain that you were going to win. >> really? >> reporte >> jimmy: i looked at the list of no, ma'minees. >> i voted for amy and tina. >> jimmy: you thought they were going to win that category the and you wouldn't have to worry about it. >> they were unbelievable on the golden globes. >> jimmy: you won the emmy. this is from the preshow at the emmys, i believe from e! network. >> all right. what's in it? can i look in here? >> i can't believe you're letting me look at it. >> this is your phone case.
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that's cute. >> this is -- my pot. liquid pot. >> okay. >> jimmy: now, why, first of all, would you let giuliana rancic go through your purse? >> i didn't know there was going to be a clutch cam. and i have no shame about it. it's not a big deal to me. pot is legal here. and i like to have a little puff- puff-a-roony at the end of the night. it was so crazy, big bananas, big deal that i had a pot thing. meanwhile, i get to walk around the emmys in a sea of drunken, terrifying scary people. you know i'm afraid of drunk people. >> jimmy: you are afraid of drunk people. >> i don't like it. but a little puff at the end of the night, like a lady. plus, i have a prescription. i have a serious medical condition. >> jimmy: what is your medical condition? >> i have a -- i have a
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condition that makes me not realize how delicious pop-tarts are. >> jimmy: you do? >> yes. and also that reruns of "the nanny" are funny. [ laughter ] and i mean -- pot makes you really funny. >> jimmy: do you really think that pot makes you funny? >> no. pot makes you funny. >> jimmy: oh. [ cheers and applause ] now, since i feel like you were, in a way, unfairly represented there. all we saw from your purse was that pipe. and there are many other things in your purse that are not -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: pot. >> just regular purse things. >> jimmy: is this your clutch right here? >> that's the clutch. >> jimmy: cute clutch. where did you get this? >> isn't it fun? >> jimmy: did your new boyfriend buy this for you? >> we'll get to him later. >> jimmy: do you mind if i go through this? you let giuliana rancic do it.
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what's this? >> i stole that from idris elba. >> jimmy: all right. >> i have to return that. >> jimmy: this has not been around for like eight years. do you mind if i open this? >> it's "space jam." >> jimmy: oh, it is. oh, yeah. it really is "space jam." [ laughter ] okay. what else do we have here? that seems bad. >> oh, no. it's not a gun. this is where i -- i do this -- >> jimmy: while you're pointing it at me. yeah. >> we'll cut the fat out. >> jimmy: no problem. is there something in there? >> there's a joke in there. >> jimmy: all right. don't worry about it. it's fine. >> this will be such a sad way for you to dad. >> jimmy: somebody watching at home with the sound off, it seems like i'm being taken hostage. >> wait.
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hold on. >> jimmy: what? >> we have to get this bit right. it's not worth it. >> jimmy: not even close. >> i know. it's attached to it. >> jimmy: it doesn't matter. oh, look at these. [ laughter ] >> those are condoms. >> jimmy: yes. there's a lot of them here. >> you guys -- [ applause ] i like to -- i give them to homeless people, before they have sex with me. because we're dirty. >> jimmy: that's very sweet. and what else do we have in here? a picture -- that's very nice. oh, that's nice. what is this, exactly? >> that is, jimmy, that's nicki and eric's wedding. i think that's soon to be their 15th wedding anniversary. >> jimmy: and there i am -- >> i like to think of that as your finest moment. >> jimmy: yes. >> i'm sorry. your fattest moment. >> jimmy: i'm glad we were able to get through all that stuff.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, hello there. we're back with sarah silverman. this is her comedy album. "we are miracles." you won an emmy for this special on television. maybe you will win a grammy for this. what's up with the monkey? is that fun for you on the photo shoot? >> there was no photo shoot.
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i was doing a different photo shoot for "vanity fair." it wasn't a big deal. anyway, this was literally me in the dressing room getting my hair done. and people putting makeup on me. and there was a monkey in the shoot. they let me meet him and let me hold him. and hillary anselm, my publicist, who you know, is -- took it with her phone. >> jimmy: are you kidding me? >> when the show came, "we are miracles." we are miracles, we are molecules. i thought of this picture and used it. and we made the molecules thing. >> jimmy: that's pretty great. wow. that's unbelievable. the album is very funny, by the way. i saw the comedy special. i haven't actually heard it. i assume it is also funny. >> yeah. it's the same. >> jimmy: it's all the same stuff. >> the sounds of -- >> jimmy: the sounds of the thing. i want to ask you about something else from the emmys. you said something -- and i noted it when you said it. and -- play that clip there.
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we want to ask you about it. >> mike flanagan at largo. thank you for making largo my home and introduced me to my love, mr. fancy pants sheen. >> jimmy: i believe about half of america thinks you're dating charlie sheen. [ laughter ] >> that would be ridiculous. >> jimmy: well, it would be ridiculous. but it's also ridiculous to have a pot pipe in your purse on the way into the emmys. did that occur to you at all? >> no because -- because there's only one fancy pants. >> jimmy: i guess so. >> that is michael sheen. >> jimmy: michael sheen, who is on "masters of sex." >> yeah. >> jimmy: a show i enjoy a lot. i think he's great on that show. >> he's the best at what he does. he's so good. [ laughter ] i think he is. >> jimmy: they think you're making fun of me.
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>> no. i'm happy to have him be a part of my life. and i don't think i ever really knew what love was. you know? >> jimmy: uh-huh. [ laughter ] >> i don't think i've ever really been in love before. >> jimmy: right. >> and you guys have so much in common. >> jimmy: do we really? >> he starred in "frost nixon." and you were the fat guy on "win ben stein's money." >> jimmy: and ben wrote for nixon. you're right. >> look at you hanging out together. >> jimmy: as he met your family? has he met your family? >> i met his family. and they're from wales. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> that's when you're supposed to say i'm from normal parents. >> jimmy: yeah. >> he's from wales. they don't have jews in wales, i'm pretty sure. his mother -- i think she thinks i can grant wishes. like leprechauns. jews don't have pots of gold.
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we just love pot and gold. >> jimmy: i see. [ laughter ] and he met your family? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: and how did that go? >> donnie's got a new best friend. >> jimmy: your dad, yeah? you think your dad likes him better than he likes me? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> and that was no small feat. >> jimmy: really? really? how about that? what makes you think that? did he specifically say that? [ laughter ] >> he turned to me and said, jimmy who? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, that's very nice. now, you're going on tour with you're doing a standup tour? >> i've been on the odd ball fest tour. [ cheers and applause ] don't humor me. >> jimmy: they're all upset because you called me fat. >> you're not fat. you're thin. >> jimmy: i know.
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thank you. you're on tour with whom? >> louis c.k., dave attell, jeff ross, amy schumer, whitney cummings. it's like the regular crowd. chris hardwicke. christa lea. i'm forgetting about these people. >> jimmy: are all these people on all of the shows? >> different combinations of us. but a whole bunch at every show. it's been fun. it's been road. every day, an airport. every day, a different flight. you know, it's just like, every meal is in an airport. it really makes you appreciate like when you're peeing in airports every day, just being able to do that at home in the comfort of your own, you know, apartment, into countless mason jars you put on your window sill. >> jimmy: hey, my chair just went down. i'm short all of a sudden. i don't know what's going on here. here's the album. "sarah silverman: we are miracles" will be
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released on cd, colored vinyl and download september 23rd. thank you, sarah. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t, mobilizing your world. hi! can i help you? i'm looking for a phone plan. it has to be a great one, and i don't compromise. ok, how about 10 gigs of data to share, unlimited talk and text, and you can choose from 2 to 10 lines. wow, sounds like a great deal. so i'm getting exactly what i want, then? appears so. now, um, i'm not too sure what to do with my arms right now 'cause this is when i usually start throwing things. oh, that's terrifying at&t's best-ever pricing. 2-10 lines, 10 gigs of truly shareable data, unlimited talk and text, starting at $130 a month. walked in to a mcdonald's and discovereden an extraordinary burger with heaps of jalapeños... ...for only two dollars. within minutes, they had also discovered the phenomenon of
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>> jimmy: hello there. welcome back. you know what this is? this is the new amazon fire phone, available exclusively from at&t. it's the perfect smartphone for taking pictures. not only does it have a dedicated camera button. the fire foep has free unlimited storage for your phone. you don't have to worry about running out of space. to put that to the test, i gave my pal, guillermo, a challenge. i challenged guillermo to walk around our office to take pictures nonstop for a whole hour. how many pictures did you take in that time? >> guillermo: 2,077. >> jimmy: and you never ran out of space, correct? >> guillermo: never. >> jimmy: let's look at some of the pictures you captured for us. first of all -- you took this picture of yourself. >> guillermo: yeah. in the restroom. >> jimmy: all right. what are you doing there? >> guillermo: i think i'm eating brownies. >> jimmy: okay. and that's a little figure of you. >> guillermo: yes.
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eggs. i'm eating cake right there. >> jimmy: this is when you start taking pictures of me. i spotted you there. and you know what? i do sometimes get a little bit angry. and i'm sorry i had to knock you down. sometimes i fly off the handle. i apologize. >> guillermo: yeah. you can apologize to my lawyer, dumbass. >> dicky: the new amazon fire phone exclusively from at&t. visit at&t.com/fire or an at&t phone exclusively from at&t. visit at&t.com/fire or an at&t store today. some hunger games. boom. twitter. minecrafa wow, you guys are all set, huh? oh yeah, new amazon fire phone. it comes with amazon prime - tons of cool stuff for no extra charge. really? it comes with amazon prime? yeah, there's so much to watch. i've been on this earth nine years, i've never seen anything like it. the new amazon fire phone, with a full year of prime included. exclusively on at&t.
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that's how jim beam makes history. is it the biting? ...we need to break up. cuz i can stop? no! i love you and your show. it's cable. customers are more satisfied with u-verse. switch and we can stay together forever. forever? ow. i'm not gonna lie to you. it's also the biting. break up with cable. choose u-verse tv from $19 a month for 2 years.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, there. welcome back. still to come. the music from hunter hayes. our next guest is an academy award-nominated actress whom you know from "the curious case of benjamin button" and "the karate kid." she played a young ralph macchio in "the karate kid." a week from tomorrow, you can see her faceoff with idris elba in the crime thriller "no good deed." please say hello to taraji p. henson. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> hey. >> jimmy: you look great. you smell very good, too. >> thank you. i'm glad i don't stink. >> jimmy: i never met a taraji
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before. >> you never met a taraji. >> jimmy: are there others? >> i'm certain now there are. >> jimmy: do you know other tarajis? >> i get tweets. i just named my daughter after you. >> jimmy: that's nice. >> my cousin, interestingly enough, called me from maryland. from the washington, d.c. area. hey, we got some random gas station. and he saw a picture of a set of white twins. and it said taraji on it. taraji, that's my cousin. that's my cousin. she's my and the woman at the gas aaten dant, was like, i love her so much. i named my twins at her. >> jimmy: hold on one minute. >> maybe it's taraji one, taraji two. >> jimmy: she named them both taraji? >> i'm sure they have middle initials. that's why i kept mine. taraji p. >> jimmy: a lot of times,
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michael j. fox. there was another fox. there are no taraji hensons, besides you and the twins, of course. >> they're like 30 years behind me. >> jimmy: what does that name mean? >> it's swahili for hope. >> jimmy: nice. >> and the middle initial is "p" for penda. and that's swahili for love. >> jimmy: hope, love and henson. do your parents speak swahili. >> they found it in a book. it was different. and i hated it when i was little because no one could pronounce it. i'm used to answering pretty much anything. >> jimmy: how badly did they mangle it? >> the worst i got, i used to be a singing, dancing waitress on a dinner cruise in d.c. this guy was really drunk. and i had a name tag on. and he called me trojan. trojan, i'll have another drink. >> jimmy: that's no good. >> well, i have trojans. that's not my name. >> jimmy: you flew in from chicago. >> i did. >> jimmy: you're shooting your
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new show there? >> yes. "empire." >> jimmy: that's fun. >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. >> jimmy: who else is son that show with you? >> terrence howard is on the show with me. we're still working together again. gabby sideby is on it. >> jimmy: he told me he is manufacturing diamonds in a laboratory. pink diamonds. >> yes. >> jimmy: as i recall. did you know about this? >> he tried to get me to invest. i don't own any real diamonds. can't help you there. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: seems like if they're manufacturing real pink diamonds, you would want to invest in something. you need to invest in that? >> i said to him, if you give me a sample first. >> jimmy: and? >> i'm still waiting. >> jimmy: you're still waiting. maybe a gift will be something you'll get. >> pink diamond. >> jimmy: you acted together in
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the academy -- >> "hustle and flow." >> jimmy: yes. and you sang at the academy awards. "it's hard out there for a pimp." >> it was awkward at the oscars. i'm swinging about pimps and whores in front of helen mirren. >> jimmy: i hadn't thought about that. >> i was really drunk. >> jimmy: you were drunk before the oscars? >> yeah. it was really weird. it's hard out here for a pimp. what is this world coming to? >> jimmy: were you surprised that the song was the winner? >> i just remember sitting in front of the guys, 36 mafia. and i turned around to them. i said, thank god you made it here. a lot of rappers don't get this far. >> jimmy: none of them do, really. >> basically. rap at the oscars. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know, it's -- dolly parton's year. be glad you got here. we sing the song. and then, everybody's like, oh,
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my gosh. and the winner is -- and i'm, like -- what? and my jaw -- and they won. i think everybody was surprised. >> jimmy: now, you're teamed up with idris elba in "no good deed." was he somebody you knew before? >> i did. the script was around far long time. and will packer found it and brought it to me. and we finally had idris elba for it. i got busy. he got busy. it went away. and will packer brought "think like a man" to me. i don't want to do that dumb movie. i want to do "no good deed." i want to do that. okay. if you do "think like a man" we'll do "no good deed" right after. i made him promise. and we did. it got busy. and so, i had to call and beg him. i used every card i had.
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i am an incredible executive producer. i played the single mother card. how dare you run off and book "mandela." here we are, it worked. >> jimmy: yeah. very scary. and he's very scary in it. >> he is very scary. >> jimmy: it's a very different role for him. >> i thought it would be great for him because he's so charming and charismatic. and for me, charming, charismatic people make the best bad guys. you secretly root for him to get away. >> jimmy: interesting. i don't think anybody is rooting for him to get away. >> half of the women. >> jimmy: is this what you heard? >> i get tweets. he can kill me anytime. i'm like -- >> jimmy: logically, it doesn't make any sense. when they see the movie, maybe they'll have a different opinion of it. >> i hope so, for me and my babies. >> jimmy: it seems like the least they could do.
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>> exactly. just run. hey. >> jimmy: people are naming twins after you. i think you'll be all right. >> i think i won. >> jimmy: tragedy p. henson, everybody. "nod good deed" opens in theaters september 12th. we'll be right back with music from hunter hayes. [ cheers and applause ] the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t, mobilizing your world.
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[ cheers and applause ] the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t, mobilizing your world. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank sarah silverman. i want to thank taraji p. henson, and apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next. but first, his new album is called, "storyline." here with the song "tattoo," hunter hayes. [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ i could spray-paint i love you on that bridge ♪ ♪ or in the sky and i could swear when ♪ ♪ you say it to me there's a good chance ♪ ♪ i could fly and i might ♪ ♪ it seems like, yeah if it's gonna be any night ♪ ♪ it might as well be tonight ♪ ♪ there's this thing that you do you don't know that it ♪ ♪ does something to me, yeah it's in the way that ♪ ♪ you sway, that you talk that you touch ♪ ♪ that you kiss that you breathe ♪ ♪ that i need you look at me, girl ♪ ♪ you're shaking things up like you wouldn't believe ♪ ♪ crashing my comfort zone setting me free ♪ ♪ it's a who would've thought you'd never dream ♪ ♪ kind of thing ♪ your name, your name sounds so good next to mine ♪ ♪ just saying and i think, i think ♪ ♪ i'm gonna put it in all my rhymes, baby ♪ ♪ 'cause with you i'm gonna do quite a few ♪ ♪ things that i never thought i would do ♪ ♪ your name, your name
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your name would be ♪ ♪ a good tattoo, yeah would be a good tattoo ♪ ♪ ink it in on my skin sign me up, make it last ♪ ♪ against the time 'cause this is more than a ♪ ♪ picture that fades of a first date friday night ♪ ♪ it's unerasable unmistakable, hey ♪ ♪ everybody wants to know now i think i know ♪ ♪ i'll wear it on my sleeve i gotta let it show ♪ ♪ making a promise that i never wanna let you go ♪ ♪ your name, your name sounds so good next to mine ♪ ♪ just saying and i think, i think ♪ ♪ i'm gonna put it in all my rhymes, baby ♪ ♪ 'cause with you i'm gonna do quite a few ♪ ♪ things that i never thought i would do ♪ ♪ your name, your name your name would be ♪ ♪ a good tattoo, yeah would be a good tattoo ♪
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♪ all my life all i got is this ♪ ♪ one heart to give and all my life ♪ ♪ all this time i've been searching for this ♪ ♪ oh, and it looks like i found it ♪ ♪ yeah, i finally found it girl, it's you ♪ ♪ your name, your name sounds so good next to mine ♪ ♪ just saying and i think, i think ♪ ♪ i'm gonna put it in all my rhymes, baby ♪ ♪ 'cause with you i'm gonna do quite a few ♪ ♪ things that i never thought i would do ♪ ♪ your name, your name your name would be ♪ ♪ a good tattoo, yeah would be a good tattoo ♪ ♪ ooh, ooh, ooh ooh, ooh, ooh ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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one more kiss it doesn't make sense to anybody ♪ ♪ you're right this is a special edition of "nightline," joan rivers, a life of laughter. >> as the tributes pour in, we're remembering joan rivers. the legendary comedienne that died at 81. tonight, she gets the last laugh. >> every laugh that is like a small vacation for someone. >> from her legendary start alongside johnny. >> my hot flashes are so bad, i was hit by a heat-seeking missile. >> joan never seemed to age. and neither did her humor. >> i cannot retire. i have two new
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