cool j. >> have a great night everyone. cool j. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- ll cool j. from "fury", michael pena. is "this week in unnecessary censorship." and music from tinashe featuring schoolboy q. and now, live and in person, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everybody. welcome. hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching.

thanks to all of you for coming. i'm glad you made it. glad you're here safe and sound. you know, it wasn't easy, because the president was in town. president obama's in los angeles tonight for a night of fund-raising and traffic jamming. traffic is so bald here to start with and when the president comes in, it just gets so much worse. it's terrible. here's the thing. president obama has no understand of what it's like to even have a come mute because he works from home. he has a home office. so, tonight the president was here in l.a. for a fund-raiser at gwyneth paltrow's house, a dinner that was as lucrative as it was ma crow biotic. how great it would be if he blew the dinner party to go to in-n-out instead? cost of tickets for this event ranged from $1,000 to $32,000. for $32,000, you can meet him. $32,000 to meet the president seems very high. especially considering the fact you can jump the fence and the

white house and meet him for free. [ cheers and applause ] but i will say, traffic aside, it's kind of nice to see people in l.a. raising millions of dollars for something that doesn't involve "transformers" for a change, right? right guillermo? >> right, jimmy. >> jimmy: thank you. in north korea, kim jong-un has not been seen for a month. you know who he is. he runs north korea. and there are rumors now that his little sister is running the country. her name is kim yo-jong. [ laughter ] what does this family put on their christmas stockings? a lot of -- anyway. kim yo-jong is the sister. she's said to be in charge while her brother recoverers from various undisclosed ailments. now even north korea's had a female leader here in the united states. nobody seems to know what's wrong with kim jong-un. he has gout, diabetes and he's

put on a lot of weight. thankfully his hair is still perfect, as you can see. [ laughter ] i really -- i have to say, i'm fascinated by what goes on, because -- and i wonder how they explain this to the people of north korea. he's considered to be a divine being. many believe he is a god. and now god has the gout? [ laughter ] hey, guys, god has an ankle problem but god's sister is going to run things. maybe he's holed up somewhere playing the new nba thek15. do you have this game? the guys who don't have jobs, right? [ laughter ] yeah? okay, yeah. [ applause ] this is a video game that came out on tuesday and one of the fun features of the game is, they let you scan your own head onto the body of a player. you really don't ever have to exercise again if you have this game. [ laughter ] watch yourself playing basketball, even though it's not you.

unfortunately, this new feature is difficult to use. this is a reporter from polygon.com. he posted this video of him trying to scan his face. >> please completely fill the window with your face. the window will turn green when it's correct. in just a few seconds, your scan will begin and the screen will turn white to help -- we lost track of your head. completely fill the window with your face. the window will turn green when it's correct. in just a few seconds, your scan will automatically begin -- we momentarily lost track of your head. please completely fill the window with your face. the window will turn green when it's correct. in just a few seconds, your scan will begin and the screen -- we momentarily lost track of your head. 34r50es completely fill the win dole with your face. >> jimmy: you know what? he's a very patient man. [ cheers and applause ] we get so much entertainment out of video games.

they are having trouble how the face scans come out. people have been posting these crazy mutated versions of themselves online. i decided to try it for myself. it was very complicated. it really was to set up. but this is me and i scanned my face in the box and the it builds your -- replica of your face. and that's me. you have to pick out the hair. pick out the hair and -- that was the closest i could get. and there you go. that is -- that is a fantasy basketball player, am i right, ladies? [ laughter ] this is what -- now, this is what we -- we scanned guillermo's face, also. okay? a and, yeah, there, see, now that right there is guillermo. but then it turns into some kind of four-eyed, two-nosed, two-mouthed -- this is what guillermo looks like if you are

doing pay owe tee. there he is. it's you. [ cheers and applause ] so, then there are these scenarios that they enact and this is, i think, what you're getting, like, something involving the orlando magic. >> where you head ed? >> oh, locker room, shower up. >> good. i just hope none of that game you just showcased washes off. >> this stuff don't wash off. it's in my dna, yo. >> easy. your jersey ain't in the rafters yet. get out of here. we'll be in touch. >> looking forward to it. >> jimmy: it's about time there was an actual monster in the nba. [ laughter ] might as well be you. >> yeah, true. >> jimmy: my cousin micki is very pregnant. she's expected to give birth. her due date was yesterday. besides being my cousin, mcki is one of the most well loved people here at the show.

she might be the nicest person in the world. and her mother is my aunt chippy, who is not the nicest person in the world. nor is she sweet. she is also sweet as, luke,ike, shot glass gull full of gasolin. aunt chippy has never seen a sonogram before, where they look inside the belly of the pregnant lady to see the baby. my cousin sal and i set up a fake sonogram appointment with a fake sonogram tech nnician at a real place. and micki invited her mom to come along to see the baby, you know? so, i had the guiles in the graphics department here at the show come up with very creative video images of very active fetus to put in the sonogram monitor because i wanted to give aunt chippy the most incredible sonogram that anyone has ever seen.

>> are we rolling? >> good luck. >> good luck to you. >> see you on the other side. micki has arrived and she's coming in shortly. send them in. >> send them in. okay, claudia, you can send them in. >> micki? hi. come right in. go ahead and take a seat right here. >> thank you. >> you're welcome. just going to be a few minutes. >> thank you so much. >> i saw that prince george -- those are the kind of outfits i'm going to get him. not with the names on it. >> you don't like their name on it? >> no, no, i don't like, daddy's pride and joy or something like that. >> jimmy: what about mommy's little popper. >> what about mommy's little

popper? >> are you going to baptize him in the dress? >> jimmy: we're not even sure about the whole baptism thing. >> we're not even sure about the whole baptism thing this time. >> are you kidding me? don't even say that to me. >> hi. >> hi, how are you? >> hi. >> hi, chippy. very exciting. this is my first sonogram i'm going to see. never seen one before. we had our babies, like, blind. we didn't knoll what we were having. >> can you pull up your shirt, please? >> jimmy: ask aunt chippy, never seen one of these before? >> never seen one of these before? >> no. >> all right. you're going to love it. >> jimmy: okay, we're going to look at the bone structure first. >> we're going to look at the bone structure first. hear the heartbeat. >> i don't know what i'm looking at. >> jimmy: bone structure. the baby is encased carbon night

right now. >> the baby is encased in carbon it right now. that's good. >> jimmy: the flux capacitor is a beating at a normal right. >> and the flux capacitor is beating at a normal rate. okay. show a shot of the whole body if we can now. >> jimmy: say hello to grandma nippy. >> oh. >> jimmy: he can only hear you if you are very loud. >> he can only hear you if you are very loud. >> oh, i'm loud. >> jimmy: don't worry, he can't see you. >> don't worry, he can't see you. he's clapping. >> i think so. i can't believe he's clapping.

>> glad you're here. >> he's got his finger up his nose. >> oh. picking his nose. >> that's a good sign. >> that is so cute. >> boys tend to pick their nose. >> don't stick it in your mouth. >> jimmy: he's eating, so that's good. >> he's eating, so, that's good, right? >> that's not what we want him to eat. >> so cute. >> he is doing what i think he's doing? giving us the finger? >> no. those are reflexes. >> that would be really cute, though. >> that would be really cute, though. >> yeah. >> jimmy: let's shake him up a little bit here.

>> are you kidding me? >> oh, my gosh. >> i can actually feel la. >> oh, my gosh. did you feel that? >> oh, wait, i got to -- >> this is crazy. >> he's swimming. >> i can feel -- >> i didn't know they stood up. >> oh, my god. >> this is the best. >> wah! wah! >> i'm having twins. it happens once in awhile.

they look familiar to me. >> wah! wah! >> you're having two grandsons. >> looks like jimmy. >> wah! wah! >> jimmy: congratulations! >> we have so happy. >> i hate you guys. >> jimmy: it does look like me. >> i hate you. >> don't hurt my babies. do not hurt my babies. >> jimmy: congratulations. >> wah! wah! >> jimmy: even the fetuses in our family are funny. sorry, aunt chippy. one more thing.

it's thursday night. it's time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> well, getaway for a suspected flasher. police say the guy they were chasing dripped on his own [ bleep ]. >> i like long hair on a man, so, i would [ bleep ] you right after you get that divorce. >> differences between a pat on the back and a [ bleep ] in the rear end is about six inches. >> if you lose, norman will [ bleep ] your face. >> we have much more to come from st. louis. >> 86 years old, but i'm still [ bleep ]. >> oh, your brother kept bloo [ bleep ] me. >> well, your sister [ bleep ] like a lawnmower. >> you called him and say, hey, we will cut your [ bleep ] off. >> absolutely. >> i like to [ bleep ] from behind. >> that was my friend. our producer. >> what happened? >> wanted me to put my finger in his [ bleep ]. >> all right, bad call.

>> are you here to catch them or [ bleep ] them? >> ah, no, no! >> jimmy: tonight on the show, we have music from tinashe featuring schoolboy q. michael pena is here. and we'll be right back with ll cool j. hmm. trade in your old iphone and get a new iphone free at verizon. did you say something, paul? huh? no. can i route our trip? i love our trips. oh, me too. but no i'm good i know where i'm headed. how about music? nah i don't really feel like- ♪ just the two of us ♪ we can make it if we-- what a fun drive. we always have so much fun. remember that one time we- okay. sure you loved your old iphone. but you'll love your free new iphone

you trade it for even more.

trying to mislead you about the effects of proposition 46. well here's the truth: 46 will save lives. it will save money too. i'm bob pack, and i'm fighting for prop 46 because i lost my two children to preventable medical errors and i don't want anyone else to lose theirs. the three provisions in 46 will reduce medical errors and protect patients. save money and save lives. yes on 46.

>> jimmy: hello there. tonight, you can see him in the new movie, "fury." michael pena is here. then, a talented young woman from right here in the city of angels. her debut album is called "aquarius." tinashe featuring schoolboy q from the at&t stage. and we have something from schoolboy q's mother later on in the show. schoolboy q's mom. that's right. next week on the program, our guests include shia labeouf, selena gomez, edward norton, adam carolla, michelle monaghan, cristela alonzo, chris o'dowd, and portia de rossi. and we'll have music from t.i.,

kasabian, you plus me and bob seger will be here, as well. that will be a lot of fun. our first guest tonight is a legendary, grammy award winning rapper turned actor, who had no choice but to change his name when he found out there was already an l cool j in the screen actors' guild. that's true. you can see fight crime monday nights on "ncis: los angeles." please say hello to ll cool j. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: look at you. i swear to god -- i really think you gain, like, 20 pounds of muscle every time i see you. >> got to keep it right. >> jimmy: where is this going to end? i mean, at what point do you go, i can't get any bigger, i now look like the incredible hulk. >> next week. >> jimmy: next week. >> yeah, next week. but for this week, it's on. [ applause ]

>> jimmy: i'm glad you're here. i would have maybe assumed that you would have been invited to the big obama dinner. >> why? >> jimmy: because you supported president obama. >> yes, i did. >> jimmy: you wrote a letter to president obama, an open letter for him to read. >> yeah, yeah. i'm supportive. i want to see good things. >> jimmy: you wanted me to say because you're black. >> no, that's probably what most people watching were thinking. [ laughter ] he's black, he had to vote for him. how could he make a choice other than black. >> jimmy: you pay $32,000 to have dinner with the president? >> if he does exactly what i tell him to. no -- i -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what do you want him to do? >> i don't know. we got to figure that out. i don't want anybody to get m.d. at me. >> jimmy: that is a lot of money for dinner. >> it's a lot of money for dinner. but you know, people that are paying it can afford it. >> jimmy: you know you're not getting a good dinner. it's going to be something healthy at gwyneth paltrow's house. >> yep, well. [ laughter ]

>> jimmy: you're shooting the show right now. >> yes, i am shooting the show. >> jimmy: and you are recording an album, i'm told. >> yeah, a new record. it's a lot of fun. "the g.o.a.t. 2." >> jimmy: not about the farm animal. g greatest of all time. >> yeah. big up to muhammad ali, who is the greatest. i had to take that and -- i actually introduced that into the hip hop world. that's when up hear people talk abt different, you know, rappers and they say g.o.a.t., that's something i did for my album in 200. i'm making a sequel for that. it's about the culture. me getting back to my roots. i make these science project albums where i'm in a vacuum, doing mill own thing and then i make culture alabama bulls where i think about the people and think about what i'm doing from an entertainment standpoint, not just artistic. and this album's real cultural, so, people can -- they can see the new video.

>> jimmy: you have a video already? >> i have a video called "the hustler." that's doing really well. and ooimd aboi'm about to drop video called "i'm nice," so, it's going well. >> jimmy: murder mmuck. fred the godson. that's a great name. >> you have to love it. >> jimmy: uncle murda. is he related to fred the godson? >> well, you know. >> jimmy: is he related to murder muck? >> there's a strong possibility. you know the album's hot because it's not like top people that you heard of. you really need to check it out. it's hot. >> jimmy: these people -- >> it's what it is is, i wanted to really -- >> jimmy: these are murderers you've never heard of. >> lyrical murderers. be clear about that. i don't want bill o'reilly, murderers on the album. i don't need that in my life. they're not murderers, bill. you know what i mean? >> jimmy: to bill, they're murderers. >> no, they're -- never mind. you know -- like i said, you

know, the album is just filled with, you know, really true hip hop, you know. >> jimmy: what does that mean exactly? >> it just means that we're not doing anything to try to go pop. we're not trying to see, you know, focus on how many radio spins we can get. we're not -- i'm not trying to, you know, come out with the new dance record, whatever dj is popular out there in the world. i'm really making it for the people that love hip hop, period. you know what i'm saying? [ applause ] yeah. >> jimmy: all these white people clapping. >> they're supposed to clap. >> jimmy: the guy in the front. >> there you go. clap for that hip hop. [ applause ] >> jimmy: if a guy who packages metamucil for a living in phoenix, arizona, clapping for hip hop. >> that's right. >> jimmy: i want to take a break, but when i come back, i

want to ask you about the time -- times have changed so much. >> have they? have they? >> jimmy: they really have. you don't think about it, but i think this is a great example. i want to talk about when you got arrested years back for simulating sex with a couch. yes? >> well -- i was -- >> jimmy: let's take a break and when we come back -- >> all right. >> jimmy: ll cool j is going to have sex with all the furniture here. we'll be right back.

♪ you're not doing anything hand, as fast as you used to. do you need help? what is that? swiffer dusters. i can extend it so i don't have to get on the step stool. it's like a dirt magnet just like my kids. i think swiffer definitely gave me some of that time back. you're playing for more than one million dollars.

you're playing for greatness. play monopoly at mcdonald's for your shot at millions of prizes. let's play this game. the game you love is back. ♪

t-mobthan verizon and at&t. data capacity per customer it's a network that puts data where you need it most. a network designed data strong. decay. it's the opposite of evolution. the absence of improvement. and the enemy of perfection. which is why you can never stop moving forward. never stop inventing. introducing the mercedes-benz gla. a breakthrough in design, aerodynamics and engineering. because the only way to triumph over decay... is to leave it in its own dust. ♪ mimuppets: it looks so good.... animal : no flavour! kermit: when it's time to eat together... animal: sooorry. kermit: do everyone a favour, serve a drink that has real flavour. lipton fresh brewed iced tea is the natually refreshing way to enjoy your meals.

it's the flavour we all savour, does any food a favour. gotta be more tea! tea-riffic liption. be more tea. muppets most wanted, on blu-ray and digital august 12th. >> jimmy: we're back with ll cool j. his show is "ncis: los angeles,"

it airs monday nights on cbs. things are going very well. your sixth season now. >> yes, our sixth season. monday nights, 10:00, cbs. >> jimmy: did you think you'd ever be playing a member of law enforcement back in the days -- >> back when i was running from the police? >> jimmy: yeah. tell that story. >> the story -- well, what happened was, i was in georgia, i forgot which part of georgia it was, i honestly did. i tried to block it out of my mind. i basically got arrested for humping a couch. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i was singing one of my songs, "i need love" and i was -- >> jimmy: i love that song. >> i was on the couch and i actually wasn't simulating sex with the couch. i was simulating making love to a girl on the couch and there was no girl on the couch. and they just felt like, you know, they didn't need a black man humping a couch in georgia. it just wasn't necessary. something about it just doesn't feel right to them, i guess. >> jimmy: was it a white couch? >> ah, yeah, yeah.

that's -- it was white with yellow pillows. you know i'm in trouble. >> jimmy: there you go. [ laughter ] were you shocked when they actually arrested you -- >> i wasn't shocked. they told mel before, listen, we know about the show. heard it, proud of you, go out there, you hump the couch, we're going to have to take you in. >> jimmy: and you said, this is my art, i'm humping that couch! >> i got caught up in the frenzy and just went at that couch, like -- i had a ball. i had a ball. >> jimmy: did they wait until you came offstage until the show was over? >> champing at the bit. like they just took a swig of evian, just waiting. >> jimmy: how is that possible you'd be arrested for that? you had all your clothes on. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: it's crazy. >> you know. >> jimmy: miley cyrus now would probably get the death penalty in that town. for what goes on. >> or a key to the city. you know what i'm saying. >> jimmy: they actually take -- >> this is ll cool j humping the

couch. if i did "wrecking ball" right now, do you think that would be played on tv all day? ll man, a new song. let's wait for miley's version. >> jimmy: did you actually go to jail? >> yeah, they took me in and i sat there for a minute. he was like, i told you. you thought i was kidding. >> jimmy: wow. >> and i got bailed out and it just kind of eased on out of there. >> jimmy: is that still on your record or did that -- >> no, i hope it got expunged. i haven't had any problem getting in the uk recently, so -- it seems to be okay. >> jimmy: you have to explain to customs. >> you're a freak, we get it. >> jimmy: imhad had relations >> i might just start sweating when i drive by a furniture store. yeah, no, it's not like that. it's not like that. >> jimmy: wow. that is -- >> not like that. it was crazy. i mean, you know, it happens. >> jimmy: things have changed. >> things have changed on certain levels. i think that, you know, the

country has gotten better in a lot of ways. people don't want to acknowledge that, because so many little incidents happen that kind of set us back emotionally in terms of our relationships with each other but i think ultimately, you know, it's just about, you know, trying to see that silver lining. i must say, honestly, that i think that every life is valuable and i don't think that young black men should be getting shot for no reason, you know, but -- [ applause ] but at the same time, you know, i do think things have gotten a lot better. i mean, there was a time when we couldn't even eat in the same restaurant, you know? so, things have gotten better. >> jimmy: right, yeah. >> they need to get even better. going from, you know, an f to a d and now trying to get to a b. >> jimmy: even in entertainment. elvis was criticized and -- >> he couldn't -- yeah, he was, you know. he was humping couches. but he was on tv. they just showed him from the waist up. they took me to jail. >> jimmy: the problem that goes right there, they originate right there. >> look, at the end of the day. i think we have a great country.

and, you know -- >> jimmy: thank you. [ applause ] >> and we may have, you know, some misunderstandings and some things that happen but at the end of the day, we have a great country and you find that out when things like 9/11 happen. you find out how galvanized we can be and how together we can actually stick when our backs are against the wall. but you know, we have some misunderstandings like any family. all families have disagreements. >> jimmy: we've come a long way. >> everybody has a crazy uncle drunk at the barbecue. >> jimmy: i don't know how we went from you humping a couch to 9/11, but it was quite a ride. ll cool j, everybody. >> oh, and, i got to shout it out. to my director on "ncis," irish jimmy hamelin, former fireman. >> jimmy: "ncis: l.a." airs mondays at 10:00 p.m. on cbs.

we'll be right back with schoolboy q's mother. therlike a new meticulouslyone's engineered german sedan. finely crafted. exactingly precise. desire for such things often outpaces one's means. until now. hey matt, new jetta? yeah.

introducing lots of new. the new volkswagen jetta. isn't it time for german engineering? ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ you got to stay in shape for all the costumes... what's that? you know like... ...attractive nurse ...viking princess warrior ...and foxy fullback can we go over the viking lady again? whatever you are staying fit for, start with a low fat subway sub like the tender turkey. subway. eat fresh.

to help entertain some friends at the beach. before earning 1% cash back everywhere, every time. and 2% back at the grocery store. even before he got 3% back on gas. all with no hoops to jump through. rafael was inspired to use his bankamericard cash rewards credit card

to spend a night watching the stars, under the stars. that's the beauty of rewarding connections. apply online or at a bank of america near you.

read some of those lyrics allowed. tonight, we asked schoolboy q's mom to be a part of this and she was very kind enough to say yes. >> i'm schoolboy q's mom, and this is from "collard greens." [ bleep ] famous, straight from the bottom. broke [ bleep ] hate it. still never robbed them. guns in the basement, out they have a problem. be any fragrance, we love marijuana. function on fire, burn the roof off this [ bleep ]. psych ward is balling, crazed like no other. we steady blowing, pass to my momma. i would never smoke weed with that boy. that's my baby.

>> jimmy: thank you, momma q. we'll be right back with michael pena. wto dirty their hands withtrue sendeavour, not speculation. comradeship, essential. courageous men and women to uphold over 160 years of tradition. to celebrate the most awarded blended scotch in history. this is true scotch. join us.

ted what are you doing? i was trying to get these skittles, but i got stuck. [ crickets chirping ] maybe i should try. [ spider ] i say go for it. [ crickets chirping ] trap the rainbow! taste the rainbow! olivendless bowls of pastag pastwith new sauces at $9.99. like roasted mushroom alfredo, and toppings like crispy chicken fritta. never ending pasta bowl,

unlimited pasta, garden salad, and fresh baked breadsticks. starting at $9.99. only at olive garden. padvil pm gives you the healingu at nsleep you need, it. helping you fall asleep and stay asleep so your body can heal as you rest. advil pm. for a healing night's sleep. you would need like a bunch of those to clean this mess. [ kc ] you're probably right. hi, cascade kitchen counselor. 1 pac of cascade complete cleans tough food better than 6 pacs of the bargain brand combined. cascade. beyond clean and shine. every time. than 6 pacs of the bargain brand combined. monopoly at mcdonald's. now is your your chance to score fifties, hundreds, or a cool million; or a one-on-one experience with lebron.

welcome back. you too. let's play this game. when folks think about wthey think salmon and energy. but the energy bp produces up here creates something else as well: jobs all over america. engineering and innovation jobs. advanced safety systems & technology. shipping and manufacturing. across the united states, bp supports more than a quarter million jobs. when we set up operation in one part of the country, people in other parts go to work. that's not a coincidence. it's one more part of our commitment to america.

>> jimmy: still to come, music from tinashe and schoolboy q. our next guest is one of those actors who makes any movie or tv show better. he's like grated parmesan cheese. you know him from "american hustle", "crash", "eastbound & down", and "million dollar baby." his new movie is the world war ii epic "fury." it opens october 17th. please say hello to michael pena. [ cheers and applause ] >> yeah! ow! that's right. >> jimmy: by the way, the movie is fantastic. i enjoyed it. you play a tank driver. >> yeah. >> jimmy: and a drunk driver, also. >> a drunk tank driver. i don't know if you are supposed to do it. but for this role, i did a little bit of drinking on set. >> jimmy: is that a rule, an acting thing? if you are acting drunk -- >> i guess. but i snuck in a little jack daniel's or whatever, because

there's -- actors, you know, they try to play drunk but real people try to play like they're sober. >> jimmy: that's true. >> you know what i mean? so, you're like, are you drunk? no? ah -- did you do it? >> jimmy: that was the trick. whatever you did, it worked out very well. >> i was a convincing drunk? >> jimmy: you were. >> thanks, jimmy. >> jimmy: your co-star, jon barn that was here last night and he said the director of the film had you guys fistfight every day. >> what a liar. >> jimmy: is that not true? >> no, we drank tea. and had biscuits -- >> no, we did have the fight. >> jimmy: i -- how does that make any sense at all? >> it brings out the animal in you, you know what i mean? >> jimmy: wow. >> this is a weird thing, but it always happens when you're sparring somebody, we did it for "end of watch," too. in the beginning, you're like, keep it cool. as soon as they hit you, you're like, i swear to god. so, wait a minute. he does this in all his --

>> yeah, lips start doing that. >> jimmy: he does this in all his movies? >> christian bale had to do that. >> jimmy: who did you fight on the set? >> well, not on set. we did it for a month before. >> jimmy: no head gear? >> no, no head gear. and jon bernthal bpunched me in the face. >> jimmy: did you fight brad pitt? >> we were -- no. >> jimmy: you did not? >> you're not going to fight that guy. >> jimmy: did you fight mile ya shia labeouf? >>dy it. >> jimmy: why not brad pitt? >> are you going to fight brad pitt? can i just shake your hand, dude? >> jimmy: you fought shia labeouf? >> yeah. there was no face shots after awhile. i'm lying. a week before filming, the director, who is, you know, the most mexican white person i've

ever melt in my life, he's like, come on, dude, let's go dude. i'm laying into him, and he literally punched me in the face. everybody punched me in the face. now that i think of it. >> jimmy: that's not a good work environment when everyone is punching you in the face. >> now that i think about it, yeah. >> jimmy: the last time you were here, you talked about your brother, who -- >> that's right. >> jimmy: i'll give a quick summary of the story, but your brother saw nicolas cage in a bar and there were girls around nick and he decided he wanted to hang out with him. he called you, said, give me nick's phone number so i can call him and be apart of his world. you declined to give him that fell to telephone number. >> i don't even have his assistant's number. >> jimmy: how is he doing? >> he's doing good. he's got four kids now. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> working on 15 more. very mexican trait, by the way. i have to admit. >> jimmy: how old are his children? >> i don't even know anymore.

>> jimmy: you don't? hard to keep track? >> it is hard. >> jimmy: he just had another one? >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh, all right. what did he have? >> a daughter. >> jimmy: a daughter? >> interesting name. >> jimmy: an interesting name? what is the daughter's name? >> angelina jolie pena. i wish i was lying. i swear. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so, this is not a joke. the child's name is angelina jolie. >> pena. >> jimmy: pena. [ cheers and applause ] >> needless to say, i didn't tell brad pitt that. my niece is named angelina jolie pena -- what? i was like, dude. why would you name her that? like, most people, like, okay, maybe angelina, but that's like me naming my kid chuck norris pena. why the last name? why the last name? >> jimmy: and? >> i love her, mike. i'm a real fan, mike.

i love her so much, mike. i'm like, what do you love about her? he's like, everybothing, mike. everything. she makes me smile. >> jimmy: this is a weird -- >> i thought he was lying. and then he's like. >> jimmy: as u.n. can, you have to step in in a situation like that. dax shepard was here the other night and he is writing and dreking, costarring with you in "c. 47d "c.h.i.p.s.," the movie. which, i can't wait to see. >> i -- i would play the mexican guy. >> jimmy: you would play the mexican guy? now, i had suggested that dax consider guillermo for that role, but apparently you got it locked down already, i guess, huh? >> good luck, dude. good luck, man. >> jimmy: i didn't want to start anything. >> i'm going to text dax. i really like this part, dude. give me the part. >> jimmy: that sounds like a fun thing to do. >> yeah, i got to learn how to ride motorcycles.

>> jimmy: you played a police officer in the movie with jake gyllenhaal. >> yeah. but this is going to be more like "lethal weapon," i think. >> jimmy: i see, in that there's comedy element to it? >> well, there was in "end of watch," but i guess i don't know what i'm talking about. >> jimmy: are you pretending not to be drunk right now? >> yeah, i'm like -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, the important thing is that we learn -- [ applause ] that your brother named a child after his favorite actress. does he just get the names from imdb? >> ah -- he loves her, man. love her so much, mike. >> jimmy: very good to see you. the movie came out fantastic. it's called "fury." it ohms october 17th. michael pena, everybody. we'll be right back with tinashe and schoolboy q.

>> jimmy: i want to thank ll cool j, michael pena and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is next, but first, this is her new cd, it's kwacal "aqua "aquarius." here with the song "2 on" with some help from schoolboy q, tinashe. ♪ >> jimmy kimmel! i need everybody to put their twos up real high! ♪ ♪ give me all that you got now make you want me cause i'm hot now ♪ ♪ i'm gone so faded, i'm on one bang bang

pop off like a long gun ♪ ♪ if you lame you ain't making no noise get faded turn up with the big boys ♪ ♪ live fast die young that's my choice get money get money ♪ ♪ we can mob all in the whip make the money make the money make a grip ♪ ♪ i love to get on i love to get two on ♪ ♪ when the drink be too strong when the drink be way too strong ♪ ♪ get faded turn up pour it on up 'till i can't even think no more ♪ ♪ get ratchet go dumb then go more dumb ♪ ♪ then we can keep it up let's roll ♪ ♪ i love to get two on let let let's roll i love to get two on i love to let let's roll ♪ ♪ i love to get two on let let let's roll i love to get two on

i love to let let's roll ♪ ♪ yeah we can get active and all my girls are attractive ♪ ♪ we go you know who we are now get life all up in my car now ♪ ♪ if you lame you ain't making no noise get faded turn up with the big boys ♪ ♪ live fast die young that's my choice get money get money like an invoice ♪ ♪ we can mob all in the whip make the money make the money make a grip ♪ ♪ i be stuntin' i be stuntin' with my clique ♪ ♪ getting faded getting faded 'till we trip ah ♪ ♪ man i love to get on i love to get two on ♪ ♪ when the drink be too strong when the drink be way too strong ♪ ♪ get faded turn up pour it on up 'till i can't even think no more ♪ ♪ get ratchet go dumb then go more dumb ♪ ♪ then we can keep it up let's roll ♪

♪ i love to get two on let let let's roll i love to get two on i love to let let's roll ♪ ♪ pull your panties down from under you beat that thang up make ya wanna holla q ♪ ♪ drunker than a uh high on that mary jane ♪ nasty, baby do it in the backseat ♪ ♪ lights camera action ♪ i ain't doing nothing til the cash in money money money uh fashion ♪ ♪ draped up and dripped out keep the trees passin girl toot that thang up pump me pump rapping ♪ ♪ days of our lives so clap clap the cake spreading your thighs i'll pump pump your breaks hey ♪ ♪ just give me the drink and we can pour it yeah just give me the drink and we can pour it yeah ♪ ♪ and my enemies they see me living now and if you roll with me then you'll be winning now ♪ ♪ man i love to get on i love to get two on ♪

♪ when the drink be too strong when the drink be way too strong ♪ ♪ get faded turn up pour it on up 'till i can't even think no more ♪ ♪ get ratchet go dumb then go more dumb ♪ ♪ then we can keep it up let's roll ♪ ♪ "jimmy kimmel live," i'm tinashe. and this is "pretend." ♪ everything is like yesterday ♪ what if i want you to be touching me ♪

♪ ain't nobody perfect ♪ i want to pretend ♪ let's pretend that we about to break up ♪ ♪ i like the feeling when we make up ♪ ♪ we never count points when we court side ♪ ♪ let's pretend i ain't your friend so we can get it on again ♪ ♪ let's pretend we never met a good excuse to play forget ♪ ♪ let's pretend you never lied so i can give it up all night ♪ ♪ swallow my pride and learn to forgive when i'm looking for love i pretend it's ♪ ♪ you a love that never ends i pretend it's you that i'm in love with ♪ ♪ can we pretend

♪ can we pretend this is "nightline." tonight, in the age of air raids, airlines now think they have the antidote. >> my name is jessica. >> but it will cost you thousands and thousands of dollars. first class now featuring strats feoffic luxury. endless champagne, gourmet meals, nice big beds. even somebody to tuck you in. >> good night. >> and "nightline" has a ticket. plus, rock star. the climber on a dangerous mission to conquer one of the hardest assents in the world. this hasn't been done in more than a decade, and never by a woman. will she be the first? >> i heart is in my throat. it's too dangerous to fall. you can't fall. and, 25 years of crotch shots, falls and weird animal