>> right here and right now on jimmy kimmle, martin short. >> have a wonderful weekend. >> jimmy: we have a fun show for you tonight. the great martin short is here. we have music from steve aoki, and we have animals. animal trainer dave salmoni is here. i thought it might be fun to get a sneak peek of the animals tonight. >> jimmy, good to see you. >> jimmy: good to see you, too. >> that's a paca. and my cape penguins are here. sorry -- they were here a minute ago. >> jimmy: what do you mean? you're missing your penguins? what the hell is that? >> 50/50 on the penguin. >> jimmy: whoa. marty. what in the name of satan the devil is going on here? >> back off!

we're ready to rumble. let's go, guys. eye of the tiger shark. get him! get him! >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- martin short. dave salmoni and wild animals. and music from steve aoki featuring waka flocka flame and travis barker. and now, guess what? here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everybody. well, thank you.

that's very kind. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for coming. thank you for watching on your devices at home and on the go. i just want to be -- i appreciate your enthusiasm. i want to be clear. you know you're not sleeping over here, right? i have some very interesting news today. mcafee, you know, the internet security company, released their annual list of the most dangerous celebrities to search for online. you know who the most dangerous person to search for online is, in the world? it's me. [ laughter ] that's right. i am the most dangerous man on earth. [ applause ] if you don't want me to leak your search history to your mother-in-law, you will do everything i say. if you search my name, there's a 1 in 5 chance you'll land on a malicious website. it's an honor just to be nominated, but to win this thing -- number two on the list is a dj. armin van buren. i had no idea who it was, so, i looked him up and now i have a virus. britney spears is number 7. usually it's a woman on top of the list. the only other male celebrity to wind up number one was brad pitt in 2008.

so, one more thing brad pitt and i have in common. [ laughter ] there's this. price of being sexy, i guess. i can't believe i'm the most dangerous -- you hear that every girl in the school that wouldn't go to the prom with me, which was every girl in the school? [ laughter ] who would have guessed that a boy who used to carry a briefcase to junior high and play the clarinet would wind up being the most dangerous person of 2014? [ cheers and applause ] you see that, nerds? anything is possible. if you are going to search for me online, put condoms on your fingers. or in your ears. we have plenty of danger for you on the show tonight. the great martin short is here tonight. he's not dangerous. but dave salmoni is dangerous. he's here with wild animals. [ applause ] are you ready to get eaten by a snow leopard, guillermo? >> no way. >> jimmy: you're not. our music guest tonight is kind of dangerous, too. his name is steve aoki.

he's known for throwing cake at his audience. i guess people love it. the only person who doesn't love it is the guy who bakes the cakes. so, that will be later on in the show tonight. you know, there are credible reports. usually you hear these things and it turns out to be nothing, but rosie o'donnell and whoopi goldberg aren't getting along. "the view" made a statement acknowledging it. the report said that on thursday, apparently rosie and whoopi got into a heated argument during a commercial break. rosie was supposedly upset that whoopi cut off her to go to commercial and they had some unpleasant back and forth in front of the studio audience. the crowd sat in awkward silence. and the crew didn't know what to do, because no one on "the view" had ever yelled at each other before. [ laughter ] can you imagine if the host of "the view" drank like kathie lee and hoda do on the air? it would be wrestlemania. every among -- morning.

no two hosts on "the view" have ever gotten along in the history of the show. i believe the closest everyone got to getting along, one time in 2004, barbara walters sneezed and joy behar accidentally said gesundheit. fighting in front of the audience. that's something guillermo and i would never do. right? >> right, you stupid son of a bitch. >> jimmy: you know spongebob squarepants. he is the subject of government criticism in kazakhstan. according to their education ministry, spongebob is, quote, a self-absorbed bully who regularly inflicts violence on others and seems to enjoy it. [ laughter ] of course spongebob is self-absorbed. he's a sponge. [ laughter ] why they exist. [ applause ] and if he was a bully, he's the only bully i have ever seen that tucks his shirt in like that. spongebob isn't the only cartoon character.

they are also saying that dora the explorer promotes lesbian haircuts. they pick the weirdest things to get upset about. you know what, kazakhstan, if you don't like it, change it to your other channel. that's why you have two. this is funny. a 17-year-old kid from connecticut has been doing excellent work on youtube. what he does is, he rides around with his grandmother and instead of just driving in silence like most teenagers do, kevin makes up crazy stories, tells them to his grandmother and he video tapes it. here he is making his grandma think miley cyrus is a girl in his school. >> remember that girl, miley, she was in the hospital? she's walking again. >> okay, good, good. >> praise the lord. >> yes, praise the lord. >> a teacher was being mean to her about stuff. she came in to school, with a wrecking ball, the construction, and she hit her with it. >> the teacher? >> no, miley hit the teacher.

with the when he can -- wrecking ball. >> no, no, what the hell's the matter with these kids? >> i don't know. she's crazy. >> jimmy: sounds really cool. kevin's posted the videos -- this is one of my favorites. her's kevin asking her grandmother's thoughts on which lucky lady he should take to the prom. >> prom season's coming up, grandma. it would be cool to go with katy perry. >> who is that? >> this girl from chemistry. she's kind of weird, but -- >> oh, you don't need a weirdo. >> i know, but she's cool weird, grandma. i'm torn between katy perry and beyonce. beyonce. do you know -- >> no, i don't know. does she hang around with you? >> let's just say, i hang around with her. my plan is i'm going to ask beyonce. she'll probably say no. ill just ask katy perry. the only thing about katy perry is that sometimes she brings fireworks to school. yes, i know. i know. it's -- she lights them up and stuff in the gymnasium. it's weird. >> i don't know if it's worth going with these girls.

>> jimmy: she does have a point, i guess. but okay, so -- i love this kind of thing. so, we tracked kevin down and he's joining us now live via skype. hello, kevin. can you hear us? there he is. how many videos of your grandma have you posted so far, kevin? >> around 75 videos, in the car. >> jimmy: how did it start? >> two years ago, i was really bored one summer and i just put a camera on the dashboard and posted it because i didn't know what else to do. it got a lot of positive feedback. i kept doing it and i still do it. do it every week and it's really fun. >> jimmy: were you surprised by how popular -- some of them have millions of views -- by how popular these videos got? >> i never thought it would get this big. i thought it would just be a small amount. but it's growing so much and now i'm on "jimmy kimmel live," which is really crazy. [ applause ] >> jimmy: shouldn't you, at 17

years old, shouldn't you be driving your grandma instead of the other way around? >> yeah, i got my license this year, but i think it's more fun when she drives because she's more concentrated. i would be better if i drive, because sometimes she almost kills us and drives off the road. she hit a mailbox last time we filmed. i should probably start driving now. we'll see. >> jimmy: kevin, you are very good at what you do. i would like to present you with a challenge. have you seen the movie "frozen?" >> i have. >> jimmy: what i would like you to do is shoot a new video where you tell your grandma about your day, but use the plot from the movie "frozen." tell her you have a friend named elsa who had a falling out with her sister. go through the whole movie and see what she says, okay? >> okay. sounds like a plan. >> jimmy: we'll have you back on the show next week and show the results of that. >> got it. >> jimmy: very good. kevin, everybody. give grandma a little kiss for us. that will be funny, right? the united states postal service

is struggling, but they're working on a plan to turn things around by delivering groceries. you probably know the post office has been losing billions of dollars a year. most of it in the mail. and so now they want to try their hand at perishable goods, which sounds reasonable. aren't mailmen always being chased by dogs? what's that going to be like when they have three pounds of roast beef in their bag? i still believe in the post office wants to make a profit, they need to capitalize on legalized marijuana and deliver that to people in their homes -- problem solved, right? and they can snack on the groceries. the marijuana industry is getting involved in the political process. businesses that sell pot have been making donations to support candidates with the hope that they will gain influence in washington. and you thought congress didn't do anything before, wait until the weed lobbyists get in there. but if the marijuana industry wants to influence the political process, they need to start by helping stoners remember to vote.

that would be job number one if i was in charge. i'm not sure if it is a good thing to -- i wonder if regular pot smokers pay enough attention to politics to make a positive impact. so, we don't just sit around, though, and wonder about things. we ask. so, today, i sent a crew to a medical marijuana dispensary here in hollywood, armed with a camera and a microphone, and some very basic questions. this is a pot quiz and we'll find out now how it went. ♪ >> okay, what's your name and where are you from? >> alex, hollywood, california. >> cool. alex, do you smoke marijuana? >> all day, every day. >> all day, every day? >> yes, sir. >> how do you get anything done? >> it's just a lifestyle, bro. you have to make it happen. >> all right. so, who is the leader of north korea? >> the leader of north korea? i know what he looks like. i don't know his name. >> who was the lead actor in "pineapple express?" >> that's a good question.

seth rogan. >> what are you doing here today? >> smoking weed. >> can you name me the current secretary of state? can you name me a brand of rolling papers? >> [ bleep ]. >> who is the pope right now? >> i know this -- [ bleep ]. didn't know. pope john paul the something. >> what is pizza hut's new crust stuffed with? >> bacon. >> how many electoral votes does california get? >> i have no idea. >> how many grams in an ounce? >> 28. that's easy. >> who is the speaker of the house? >> speaker of the house? no idea. >> who is the star of "big momma's house?" >> what's his name? ah -- martin lawrence? >> yeah. >> all right. >> who is the pope right now? >> um -- the last guy stepped down. i don't know. an old guy. >> who is the stoner on "dancing

with the stars" right now? >> tommy chong. >> can you name me one supreme court justice? >> no. >> can you name me one item from taco bell? >> crunch wrap supreme. >> who addressed the u.n. about climate change last week? >> i don't know. i work too much. >> who went to white castle? >> harold and kumar. >> how does a bill become law? >> i don't know. >> how does an apple become a bong? >> oh, that's easy. that's, you put the tube on the side. >> with a knife and a straw? >> you stick a pen from the top and you stick a pen from the side. >> you put that little weed on top, use that hole in the bottom and light up. >> are you high right now? >> no, not yet, but you stopped my process when i was about to go into the weed store. ♪ >> jimmy: well -- [ cheers and applause ] we have a good show for you tonight. we have music there steve aoki. dave salmoni has wild animals for us. and we'll be right back with

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>> jimmy: hi there, welcome back. tonight, he emptied the ark and is here again with a menagerie of wild animals to put near my face. dave salmoni is here. and, this is his new album. it just came out today. it's called "neon future." steve aoki from the at&t outdoor stage. steve will be joined onstage tonight by travis barker and waka flocka flame. and he throws cake at people. tomorrow night, our guests are tim allen, anna gunn, we'll have music from the madden brothers, and on thursday, ellen pompeo, norman reedus from "the walking dead", and music from disclosure featuring mary j. blige. join us then. our first guest tonight is one of the funniest people alive. you know him from stage and screen and now you will know him from the library, too. this is his book -- "i must say: my life as a humble comedy legend" comes out november 4th and his new show "mulaney" premieres sunday night on fox. please say hello to a true

canadian treasure, martin short. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: isn't that something else? >> that's crazy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> so happy to be here. >> jimmy: i am happy that you are here. >> so filled with joy. >> jimmy: are you? >> yes. i knew that mixing vicodin and xanax was a smart choice.

let me just say before we begin your prepared text. >> jimmy: yes. >> first of all, as you know, i'm here to promote my new show "mulaney," which is on fox, 9:30 on sunday following "family guy." and i'm here mainly to promote my appearance on letterman november 3rd. but also -- but three -- [ laughter ] i'm here because, you know, i haven't gotten you a baby gift yet. >> jimmy: oh, that's nice of you. oh, thank you very much. that's very nice. i will get that to my wife. >> i remember when molly was pregnant and i -- >> jimmy: should i open that? >> you can. open it now. >> jimmy: all right, well -- oh. oh, what a nice -- what a nice gift. i have -- now i have -- i have two of those. i guess this is for the baby, right? >> that's for the baby, and that's for, you know, the next -- because i know that -- i said to you at one point, do you want a boy or girl, you said, i don't care, that's the nanny's problem. give it to the nanny.

>> jimmy: would you mind signing one for my daughter? >> i don't want to do that. >> jimmy: okay. we weren't planning -- >> not a big fan of signing stuff. >> jimmy: originally we were not going to teach her to read, but now -- >> i think you should. parts pop up. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: how are you, by the way? >> i'm very good. >> jimmy: everything is good in your life? >> everything's fun. >> jimmy: i enjoyed reading about your life. you sent me an advanced copy of the book. i dog-eared most of the pages. i realized at a certain point that i was dog-earing all the pages because i had followup questions for you. >> you told me in the e-mail you had 40 followup questions. >> jimmy: i do. some of them aren't appropriate for television, but -- i mean, i really -- i guess i -- i don't know. i guess i didn't know as much about you as i thought i did. >> you would have to ask a question. >> jimmy: i would. i'm not going to. that's going to be one of the things -- this interview, i will ask no questions of you. >> that's your gift. because this show -- [ laughter ]

i mean, this -- i look at -- this show is so zooming now. >> jimmy: is it? >> like, i read you're isis 18 to 49. isis, they love you. >> jimmy: we are very popular with isis right now. >> first of all, you're in the best shape you've ever been in. >> jimmy: thank you. >> either that or you made the studio bigger. but somehow, you look smaller. so boyish looking, you look like bruce jenner's original face. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: now, this book, i'm going to tell you something. not only did i laugh, i did cry a few times reading the book. like six times reading the book, i cried. your parents both passed away when you were a young man. >> when i was 17, my mother, 20 my father, yeah. >> jimmy: they seem like, at least from your account, very funny people. >> hilarious. hilarious. my father was born and raised in ireland, so, there was that, marty, get down here. irish sarcastic.

when i did jiminy glick, i was doing my father. there were five kids. he would attack us all, but if you were being attacked, that was a drag. if you weren't, that was hilarious. he wouldn't eat with us. he would sit seven feet away and drink gin and ginger, no ice, read the newspaper at the end of the day. but occasionally -- don't shovel the food in like an animal, marty. don't shovel it in. and at one point, he would go over and say to my brother michael, michael, keep eating, i'll make sure the dogs don't get at you. >> jimmy: now, he -- >> one time a friend of mine came over, he said, mr. short, i'm half irish and half jewish. and my father said, you know, i'm from ireland and there's a term that we refer to as someone who is half irish and half jewish. we call them a jew. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and we -- i got a kick out of something particular, because you -- it was the same thing i used to do with my family. you would make audio tapes of your family.

>> oh, absolutely. >> jimmy: at dinner and then make your own shows. it was like a fake radio show. >> i used to have the martin short show in my attic at age 14. i was on every other tuesday. on nbc, because it allowed me time for my imaginary film career. and i typed things up for tv guide and i had a goose neck lamp. because even then i knew i needed lighting. and, you know, tony bennett would guest and we would do a medley of songs that weren't nominated or something. and someone would go, dinner! and we'd tape later. >> jimmy: your mom would give you an honest review of your show. >> yeah, i once did an album called "martin short sings of songs and loves ago." i was 15. and it was based on a sinatra album and she, i think the genius was that she, you know, they didn't laugh at me. they treated it like -- she critiqued it. well sung. a little pitchy. 2 1/2 stars. >> jimmy: and you had a very --

it seemed like -- your mother must have had a great sense of humor. you said some crazy things to your mother. >> well, i would -- her name was olive. so, we called her oli. and one time, she was a violinist. and one time, concert mistress, first female concert master of a symphony. i came home, i said, oli, where are you, you old flea-bitten -- and there she was with the string quartet in the living room. [ applause ] very loose family. >> jimmy: it's a miracle you made it this far. >> i know. that kind of instinct. >> jimmy: when we come back, we'll see a clip from your very funny new show. it's called "mulaney." martin short is here. we'll be right back. ♪ ♪ in the nation... the safest feature in your car is you.

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going to be on a network roast. >> i want to tell my parents. >> let's tell them right now. come on. donna. get mrs. mulaney on the phone. i love seeing people tell their parents awesome news. >> hello? >> i'm in your house. i'm going to kill you! oh, that was great. who else shall we frame? >> jimmy: that is martin short in "mulaney." premiers sunday night on the fox network, 9:30. he's a very funny guy. >> lovely. he's so smart and he's so, such a decent grand human being. so well raised. >> jimmy: you play a character named lou cannon. i was thinking about it today. i was trying to come up with a name that is less suitable for you. and i came up with lou cannon. you are not a lou. nor are you a cannon. >> we don't know if that's his real name. >> jimmy: we don't? i see. it's like loose cannon?

did i stumble upon something i shouldn't have? >> i keep forgetting you write. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> and probably because i watch the show every night. >> jimmy: tell the story. one more story from the book i would love to hear you tell. the one where you are renting an apartment and your landlady happens upon -- >> oh, yeah. my wife nancy and i got married, i was doing a show called "i'm a big girl now" for abc and she was on "soap." and so we had some, you know, sitcom money going on. and we went back and got married. this is in december of 1980. we came back in january and the cast of "i'm a big girl now" threw a party for us and someone thought it was hilarious that they gave us all sex toys. and we were at the magic castle and i remember, you know, we were opening it. nothing is like, you know, hearing the, you know, the specials from the maitre d' where you're like, oh, ben wa balls.

what kind of pasta? they kept getting more extreme, lubes, there was one giant dildo on a rubber, like -- four feet, like that. this thing. and, oh, great. this is great. let's keep going, you know? and they're laughing and we're fake laughing and -- then we got home and we put them in the bottom drawer, not to be touched. and then we went back to our place in canada for awhile and during that time, there was a burglary. and mrs. volk, a german lady, lovely and very friendly, except she phoned me, i could tell there was tension in her voice. she said, there's been a break-in in the house. and they pulled out all the drawers in your bedroom. [ laughter ] i said, like, every drawer? she said, yeah.

and i said, ah, and -- everything is scattered on the ground and the police fingerprinted and dusted for the prints. and i said, um -- i could tell she was tense and i said, well, let me ask you this, did you put them back into the drawers? "no, i leave that for you." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, the book is chock full of great stories. martin short. it's called "i must say: my life as a humble comedy legend." it comes out on november 4th. and watch him sundays on fox. martin short, everybody. we'll be right back. ♪ i knew my life as i knew itr, would never be the same. everything stopped.

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♪ >> jimmy: hi there. we are back. with martin short. our next guest loves animals and i pray that one day he will win the legal right to marry them. he is a zooologist -- are we not ready for the animals yet? oh, all right. oh, okay, we're supposed to go out to steve aoki, who is -- steve, now, you know about this? here's what -- >> sure do. >> jimmy: here's what the kids do nowadays. while you were up in your attic

making recordings of songs frank sinatra didn't sing -- >> junior. >> jimmy: even better. steve aoki is outside right now. all right. what he does, marty -- hey, steve. >> what's up, jimmy? >> jimmy: he throws cake at his fans. and they beg him to be caked. it's become, like, i don't know. it's a verb, i think. >> marie antoinette thing, but with pizza. >> jimmy: nobody eats it, they just wear it. let's go to steve right now. >> we're a sick society now. aren't we? >> jimmy: steve, what flavor cake are you going to be throwing at people? >> it's vanilla. >> jimmy: vanilla, okay. that's a good color, i guess, for stain purposes, right? >> oh, yeah, this is going to be great. right in someone's face. >> jimmy: have you ever accidentally thrown an ice cream cake and injured someone? >> no, no, no. but you know what, it would be a good way to stop a fight. >> jimmy: it would. >> that would be a good way to

stop a fight. >> jimmy: okay. why don't you throw a warmup cake into the audience, just to kind of, you know -- oh, well that wasn't very far. oh, my god. all right. it's like gallagher is back and he's doing great. we'll be right back with dave salmoni and zoo animals. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

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oh, happy birthday. applebee's. where fans know best.

♪ >> jimmy: hi there, we're back with martin short. steve aoki is still to come. and now, it is the time that neither of us is -- i'm surprised you stayed. i appreciate that you stayed. >> i get nervous with these wild things that are coming out. >> jimmy: the nice thing is, though, we've split the odds that i will get bitten. they've been cut in half.

>> i don't think -- they wouldn't go for me. they want fresh meat. >> jimmy: well, without further ado, please welcome from animal planet, dave salmoni. now that's not bad. >> see, right there, jimmy -- >> jimmy: all right, i need to see some identification. stop right there. hey, dave, how are you? see, this i like. penguins, they're not dangerous at all. there's no way they can hurt us. >> if you put your hand near this beak, it will put a hole in you. >> jimmy: great. >> it's out here, not here. these are -- jackass penguins. >> jimmy: they do stunts? they put their testicles into a box and then throw the box off a roof or something? like johnny knoxville? >> yes. no, they are -- they make noises like a donkey. that's their call. >> jimmy: do it, guys. do the noise. oh. >> my favorite part about penguins, we all recognize them in their tuxedos. it helped them with predators. if you're a shark underneath

them, all you see is the sun, it's very bright. that is why the white helps the predator not see them. if you are a bird and looking down, all you see is the dark water. that's why they have black. >> jimmy: you would think they would have figured by now. i know that penguins pair off. are these a couple, these two? >> these are a couple. they have been a couple for 20 years. >> jimmy: how adorable. >> which one is the male? >> the big one. he's a little thicker. that's the little girl down there. >> jimmy: are they facebook official? >> i have no idea. >> jimmy: all right, okay. now what do we do? another animal will come and eat them? >> wiggle them off like this. >> jimmy: they're trained, like show business animals. >> i need you to get out of their way. >> sure. >> come on. okay. >> jimmy: marty, being from canada, you would think you'd be familiar with these animals of the arctic. >> i know.

>> jimmy: okay, what do we have here? okay, we can get to our seats now? wow, look at that. >> you guys -- do you guys need a fence? >> no, no. >> i'm over here by myself. i should have wore a suit if i was going to host this thing. >> jimmy: is this thing poisonous? >> this is a cane toad. people lick them -- >> jimmy: it is? >> and they get all psychedelic. you can see him puffing up, that's him saying, i'm big. >> jimmy: why? he doesn't like it? >> no, he just wants to let you know, he's a big male. what happens is, their defense mechanism is to have a little white foam out their back and that white foam is the toxic stuff. so, they're poisonous to predators. >> jimmy: that's the stuff you want to lick. >> it's a really, really strong drug that gets you going for an hour. >> jimmy: have you licked a toad? >> i do not. i don't. >> jimmy: are there other animals that you can lick or is this the only one? >> there are lots. lick the wrong one and you can die. there are frogs where the secretion was used to hunt, so, certainly, these guys are known to be very, like, this family, anyway, are very known --

>> jimmy: if you were to kiss this frog, would he turn into a very fat prince? >> i think you could try it. >> jimmy: no thanks. marty, would you -- >> tempting. >> jimmy: you want a little -- >> how do you know when it excretes? >> it's a white foam. >> jimmy: can we feed that foamt >> jimmy: can we feed that foam to the penguins? see what they do? i would love to see them trip out. wouldn't that be fun? >> that would be good. >> jimmy: all right, all right. what else do we have? can that thing just hop back? >> he could, but probably going to give him to his mom. >> jimmy: marty, you may have inspired that hair cut. >> hang on a second. you have some sanitizer there? >> jimmy: yeah, we have sanitizer. yeah, here you go. >> because that guy's a little venomous. >> jimmy: a little venomous? why didn't you mention that earlier? >> hey, i'll do that, too. >> hi, hi, come here. sorry. thank you. okay, okay, okay. >> jimmy: okay then. >> all right, so, we're all -- >> jimmy: why do you look like you're in pain? what is this? >> she has claws.

let's see if i can get it. there she is, good girl, hi. she does like her belly rubbed. >> that's pretty sweet, isn't it. >> jimmy: is this a nice animal? >> this is actually one you can hold. >> jimmy: i don't want to. >> you'll be fine. >> jimmy: tell me everything about it. >> this is like a raccoon. but obviously a big, long nose -- >> jimmy: i wouldn't hold a raccoon, though, right? >> you can. >> jimmy: you can. >> hold it like this. put your hands out. hold him up against your chest and he's just going to crawl -- crawl on you a little bit. watch your microphone. there you go. you got him. >> jimmy: so natural. okay, that was great. that actually was good. that actually was great. >> put this bowl down and -- >> okay, hi, how are you doing? >> put this bowl down and -- >> jimmy: is it going to bite me my -- >> won't bite you. >> jimmy: there you go. here you go. >> not interested? >> jimmy: there you go. >> come here. >> there you go. that's sweet. >> jimmy: what does he like -- is this what he eats in the wild, ritz crackers? in the wild? >> try the grape.

give her that grape. >> jimmy: there's a grape for you. this thing is out of control! >> it's a baby. it's very active. hi, sweetheart, there you go. >> jimmy: marty, you want to feed it some grapes? >> no, that's okay. you know what? i want to see you feed him. >> jimmy: i'll feed him a grape. no problem. there's a grape. there's a grape for you. >> i'll give you $300 canadian if you put the grape in your mouth and let him nibble it from that. $300. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: do i still get it? he took a shot at me. let's get rid of this thing. here. follow the grapes. follow the grapes. that's no good at all. all right. >> open up. >> thank you, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] that's what you call eating a grape. >> jimmy: oh, no. look at this.

that's the one that tried to kill me earlier. that one tried to kill me backstage. >> this is a snow leopard. >> jimmy: do they like grapes? >> you can touch her while she's calm. good idea to do it now. >> jimmy: while she's calm. okay. that is -- beautiful animal. >> now, snow leopards, as you saw earlier today. >> jimmy: yeah, backstage that thing really lashed out at me. >> i've only seen one of these worn on a beverly hills woman. >> these guys are very temperamental. so, leopards in general, they deal with stress with aggression. so, if you sort of saw her in a bad mood, she probably was having a bad hair day and she -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> you're bleeding. >> jimmy: are you bleeding again? every time, you're bleeding. that doesn't exactly fill me with confidence. >> how did that happen? >> the little guy was moving around -- >> the little guy. >> jimmy: let's hope this little guy doesn't start scratching. how old before they can murder us all? >> she's probably at the size now, she decided to, her claws and teeth could make a serious dent. >> jimmy: wonderful. >> they get their adult teeth around 14 months old. >> jimmy: very big. >> the cool thing about this

girl, you'll notice, she can actually take down things that are four times bigger than her. that's how strong these guys are. which i think superstorm sandy neat. >> jimmy: wow. >> the other thing that i think you'd love about snow leopards, you can see she's designed for the rocks, that's why the gray color. she hides amongst the rocks. she waits until something gets really close and makes a rush. >> jimmy: you're not holding the leash. >> look at her ears. her ears are part of her evolution. you can see how small they are. compared to normal cats. that will keep the heat from getting lost in really cold temperatures. >> jimmy: just hang onto the leash, though, while you say that. yes. >> obviously this leash isn't really there to do that. just makes her more comfortable. >> jimmy: oh. >> the one thing i always like to tell you? these guys aren't good pets. though you see this, this is not a good pet. >> jimmy: don't worry, i'm not getting one. yeah. >> i know you saw the leash. oh, that will make me safe. not at all. >> why is she so calm right now? >> she is very relaxed because she's -- this is the kind of thing that she likes. >> jimmy: because she spotted her dinner and is ready to lunge. >> she likes people. she's raised with people. these types of things -- not new to her. >> jimmy: i'm people.

we should get along, no problem. >> give her too much time, she will get worked up. >> hang on a second -- >> jimmy: no, no. oh, look at that. does she like purel? she is very cute. >> you can look at the tail there. that's really nice. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. you know what? i do a lot of work on this desk so it would be better if the animal wasn't on it. yeah. i have a lot of writing to do later. all right, well, you're not on the show. we're going to promote it anyway. it's called "the real apes of the planet." >> on animal planet. >> jimmy: just like "planet of the apes." october 21st. dave salmoni, everybody. thank you, dave. we'll be right back with steve aoki. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ >> jimmy: i want to thank martin short, dave salmoni, and

apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next. but first, his album, "neon future" came out today. here with the song "rage the night away", with some help from travis barker and waka flocka flame, steve aoki. ♪ ♪ we don't give a damn about money we alive right now ♪ ♪ all we do is party and get high right now ♪ ♪ shot shot gonna get another shot get a check on the money so the money never stop ♪ ♪ if you on me just watch you don't love me i'll tap tap tap man i do homie ♪ ♪ pow i'm a need y'all to turn the up right now i'm a need y'all to turn the fun up ♪

♪ ga ga do it again lost my mind gonna lose it again ♪ >> what's up los angeles? travis barker, waka flocka flame. make some noise! ♪ rage rage the night away forget about the money i'll spend today ♪ ♪ rage rage the night away forget about the money i'll spend today ♪ ♪ rage rage the night away forget about the money i'll spend today ♪ ♪ hope you save everything til you in the grave ball 'til you fall throw it all away ♪ ♪ ♪ make your money stack ♪ ♪ go crazy >> make some noise!

♪ hangin' like apostrophes you can quote me then throw the gate in yo face like steve aoki ♪ ♪ go hard in the pace cause she need to know me her body insane man she provoke me ♪ ♪ get down keep it on the low you a jump down girl no geronimo ♪ ♪ in the condo you know i would go on the bed on the couch and on the floor ♪ ♪ on the floor on the floor on the floor get on the floor ♪ ♪ don't step back that's all i know don't step back that my dough squat ♪ ♪ ♪ rage rage the night away forget about the money i'll spend today ♪ ♪ rage rage the night away forget about the money i'll spend today ♪

♪ rage rage the night away forget about the money i'll spend today ♪ ♪ hope you save everything til you in the grave ball 'til you fall throw it all away ♪ ♪ ♪ rage rage the night away forget about the money i'll spend today ♪ ♪ rage rage the night away forget about the money i'll spend today ♪ ♪ rage rage ♪ ♪

this is "nightline." >> tonight, review revenge. beware the nasty review. this woman says bad dental work ruined her smile, but she's the one getting sued. >> and how do you raise the dead? with a lot of makeup. tonight, we're taking you to the location where the twisted minds behind "the walking dead" are sinking their teeth into a new season. more than 16 million viewers