>> we appreciate your time. >> >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- jim carrey. from "scandal", bellamy young. "this week in unnecessary censorship." and music from oran "juice" jones. with cleto and the cletones. and now, and happy birthday to him, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ it's "jimmy kimmel live" [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, thank you very much. hi, everybody. hello, there i'm jimmy, i'm the

host of the show. thank you for watching. sure for coming. i appreciate it, thank you. you know, i tell you a story. 47 years ago today, a baby was born, a baby boy, maybe the most beautiful baby boy that had ever been born. parents named him james and they called him jimmy and nobody knew it at the time, but one day, that baby would grow up to set the record for most chicken mcnuggets eaten in one sitting. and that baby is me. i appreciate that. i don't want to make a big deal out of it so i'll let guillermo do it. >> hey, everybody, it's jimmy's birthday. >> jimmy: thank you, guillermo. [ cheers and applause ] you know it's not -- thank you. it's not just my birthday. i share a birthday with gerald butler, metta world peace and vinny testaverde. every day, we have dinner together at the cheesecake factory.

[ laughter ] i'm 47 today. which technically is middle aged, assuming i make it to 94, which i will not. we have a very good show for me tonight. a man who is an american treasure, despite the fact that he is actually a canadian treasure, jim carrey is here with us tonight. his new movie is "dumb and dumber to." in 1994, when "dumb and dumber" came out, the most famous hair cut for women was the rachel and the most famous hair cut for men was the lloyd. and right now jim is out on hollywood boulevard. let's go out there right now and say hello to jim. hi, jim. >> how are you doing, jimmy? i'm so good, man. thrilled to be here. i slipped inomit about five minutes ago and when i woke up, i was staring at rob sterling's star. >> jimmy: a twilight zone experience. jim tonight is going to give a

lucky pedestrian his official "dumb and dumber" hair cut. have you cut hair before? >> i never have. i'm willing to try. >> jimmy: well, this is going to be great then. i see you have tools -- >> i have many tools. it's kind of like a scene from "dead ringers" out here. you never know what this is for. >> jimmy: do you have anyone lined up there? >> i do have a volunteer. come in here. >> jimmy: come in there, volunteer. >> i'm colby. >> come on and sit in the chair, colby. hey, thanks for being here. you can hold onto that and i'm just going to whip this right up here. >> jimmy: wow. he's almost got a chris hemsworth hair cut going there. >> you're going to set me up, jim? >> that one seems to fit pretty good. hold on. i have to get that combed down. when's the last time you washed this stuff, man? >> never. >> don't worry.

i'm going to shampoo you. >> jimmy: now you have chewbacca out there. >> yeah. all right. okay. here we go. >> jimmy: where are you from, colby? >> huntington beach. >> jimmy: oh. did you have any idea this would be on tap for today? oh, look at that. >> wasn't really in my plans. >> jimmy: it wasn't? >> now, keep in mind, jimmy, while i'm doing this cult, i'm going to have to resist the impulse to turn the scissors on myself. go like and stick them into my eyes. or to cut that little tendon under my tongue. >> jimmy: no, no, no. that's important. >> here we go. >> jimmy: there you go. i think we're on the way here. >> jimmy: and that is -- that's what they call a classic bowl cut. >> that's beautiful. perfect. all right. >> jimmy: this is going to be great. >> won't be needing this anymore. here you go, buddy. we're on the jimmy kimmel show.

>> jimmy: we'll check back in in a minute. i don't think we have insurance for this, so be careful. i only wanted -- i only asked for one thing for my birthday this year and that was for oran "juice" jones to come to the show to do a song called "the rain." i remember the first time i heard it, it was 1986, i was in my red parachute pants and white reeboks. i was watching "family ties" and playing with my rue bix cube. this is a cautionary tale about a man who catches his woman walking in the rain with another man. well, here's a little bit of it. ♪ hey baby, how you doing ♪ come in here ♪ walking in the rain ♪ first thing's first ♪ let me hang up that coat ♪ holding hands ♪ you miss me ♪ i missed you so much ♪ i followed you today ♪ i saw you ♪ that's right ♪ now, close your mouth

>> jimmy: that's right. he set her up with the hot chocolate on the stove and out of nowhere, she was cold busted. it's the strangest swiss miss commercial there ever was. so, later on, he's going to perform "the rain." cleto and i will be on backup vocals and guillermo, you and bellamy young from "scandal" are going to be apart of this. we all sing "the rain" hard enough maybe we can put an end to this drought once hand for all. let's check back in with jim carrey to see how the bowl cut on colby is progressing. >> i told you not to move, didn't i? i told you not to move. you had to move. can somebody put this on ice? put that on ice. okay. don't worry. i've done this. >> jimmy: other than the ear, how is it looking, jim? >> you want the big reveal? >> jimmy: i would love to see it. oh, no. oh, wow.

[ cheers and applause ] >> it's beautiful! now, let me whack your tooth out. >> jimmy: this is colby, you are in shock right now? >> i'm psyched. jim carrey just cut my hair. >> it's good! >> jimmy: don't forget to hip him. is there somebody else that needs a hair cut out there? >> anybody else? come on over. come on over. thank you, colby. >> jimmy: very sporting of you. oh, boy. a female. this will be even more interesting. >> this is going to be fantastic. >> jimmy: what is your name? can you hear me? what's your name? >> deanna. >> jimmy: that's jim carrey. completely sexless, the lloyd thing. okay. so -- >> jimmy: are you sure you want to do this? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: oh, great. >> i think i'm -- i think at this point -- >> he's going to do a good job. >> at this point, i think i know what i'm doing pretty much. >> i'm sure you did.

use the bowl. >> i'm going to eye bowl this one. >> jimmy: give her a real good one, jim. >> okay, all right. >> jimmy: oh, my -- all right. that's a good start. nothing could possibly go wrong. >> where's the bowl? i'd feel more comfortable with the bowl. >> jimmy: we'll check back in in a moment. [ laughter ] that's a strong commitment. that's when you know you have fans right there. i have already received a lot of very nice gifts and wishes for my birthday today and i have another one coming, actually. from "scandal," please welcome joshua malina. come on out here. josh -- [ cheers and applause ] good to see you. now, josh has brought me a gift. so, what is the gift? >> i did bring you a little gift. i thought you'd get a kick out of it. i got my "scandal" cast mates to

deliver birthday greetings for you. >> jimmy: that's very nice of you. >> they were nice to participate. take a look at it. we start with scott foley. >> okay. >> on behalf of myself and the entire cast, i'm completely in love with your show. i mean that. no, seriously. zwlak was very sweet. thank you, scott. >> lovely. >> jimmy: that's very nice. >> i should mention here, though, there was a second layer to the gift. >> jimmy: okay. >> knowing that you enjoy a good prank as much as i do. unbeknownst to my cast mates, these prewritten messages i asked them to read, i had secretly worded very carefully so that we could edit them later into more amusing sound bites. >> jimmy: like? >> well, like, take a second look at scott. >> i'm completely in love with myself. i mean that. no, seriously. >> jimmy: oh, that's -- this is diabolical. >> okay. >> jimmy: you play pranks on them all the time. >> that's true. i've got one from tefsh. >> jimmy: let's check it out.

>> hey there, jimmy. tonight i pooped in the green room. it was an amazing experience, the first time i was here and it's been an amazing time ever since. >> jimmy, it hurts when i pee. i know that my hair scares children the. >> i smell like weiner. >> the worth thick abong about show. >> hey, jimmy. i just took ecstasy. whoa. >> jimmy: that's -- [ cheers and applause ] that was surprising. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how is it possible that after all the pranks you played on them, you play pranks all the time -- >> you would think it would be difficult to dupe eight people simultaneously, especially when you are a known practical joker. it turns out if the eight people are actors and the prank involved a camera, no problem. >> jimmy: you get kerry washington to do this? >> of course. i think she's in the next group. >> hey, jimmy. last night i was sitting on my balls, again, and while i'm at it, one time, i ate [ bleep ] cat food, man.

all right, bye, jimmy. >> guillermo sat on his big balls again. >> happy birthday, jimmy. i accept josh malina as my personal savior. >> jimmy, i'm an unbearable vegan. >> happy birthday, jimmy. i think i got you pregnant. just saying. >> jimmy: oh, if only that were true. thank you. that's very nice. >> can i also say, i didn't have anybody say anything that i didn't in my heart believe to be true. >> jimmy: that's really -- >> that would have been unethical. i included myself and i managed to get myself -- >> jimmy: you he did to yourself? >> i did. >> happy birthday, jimmy. from the very gullible cast of "scandal." and now if you'll excuse me, i'm going to take ecstasy and poop in your green room. >> jimmy: all right. well, thank you, josh. guillermo, show him right out.

let's go back to jim carrey out on hollywood boulevard to see how that hair cut is going. oh, wow! wow. >> see? >> jimmy: that is unexpected. >> yes. it's -- it symbolizes the control ill have over the mind of my fans. >> jimmy: were you expecting a hair cut of that severity? >> me. >> jimmy: yeah, you. >> no, i came down just to see the show. >> jimmy: oh, your did. okay. >> i wanted an autograph. >> jimmy: we'll make sure you get a good seat. >> an autograph? >> jimmy: oh, isn't that sweet? this did turn out for the best. are you a married woman? >> ah, no, i'm not. >> jimmy: you're not. well this is going to be great on tindr, then. oh, beautiful. all right. well, thank you. jim -- i think you've done enough damage.

put the clippers down and come back in here. and bring this woman with you. >> let's go. >> jimmy: one more thing. another week has come to the close which means it's a weekly tribute to the fcc. tonight, we have a special one in honor of the 45th anniversary of sesame street. a special sesame street edition of "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> ah, yeah. oh, yeah, yeah. that even smells like letter f. oh, [ bleep ]. >> gordon! are you okay? we heard a crash. >> yes, yes, i'm -- >> gordon, i think your [ bleep ]'s broken. >> that's six. six broken [ bleep ]. >> i'm getting warmer, how about you, sir? >> hey! stop that [ bleep ]. don't do that! >> gee, it's even hard to eat a snack when there's no gravity. >> yeah. we can't do anything. except [ bleep ].

>> when i was a little boy, sometimes when i got angry, i would [ bleep ] my sister. >> [ bleep ] balls. >> hi, baby. [ bleep ] you, baby. >> ow. ow. >> no. >> oh, boy. ow. ouchie. gordon, there's still something in my [ bleep ]. >> you don't have another [ bleep ] in there? >> no, just the one. >> yeah, i'm timed with lots of [ bleep ], all inside me. >> they won't be laughing for long, because i've got the perfect smelly stuff to make them scram. a big stinky piece of [ bleep ]. i'll waft it to them. >> do you smell [ bleep ] right now? >> yeah, i do. you know, i actually like that smell. >> me, too.

>> it reminds me of india. >> oh. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the show, we have music from oran "juice" jones. bellamy young is here. and we'll be right back with jim carrey, so stick around.

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>> jimmy: hello there. tonight from "scandal," bellamy young is here. then later, i've been looking forward to this all week. i made a special music request for tonight and it's happening. we have music from oran "juice" jones from the at&t stage. oran will be performing a song called "the rain." there are no words to fully describe how i feel about this song -- and whether you know it or not, i think you are going to love it. we have a whole presentation. next week on the program, one direction will be here. jamie foxx will be here as will elizabeth banks, jason bateman, courtney love, john mulaney, tracee ellis ross, tom verica plus music from jesse j, nickelback, and the new basement

tapes -- which is a super group that includes marcus mumford, jim james and elvis costello. so, join us for that. and also next week, i should mention, we have been chosen, we've been given the honor of revealing "people" magazine's sexiest man alive. guillermo, who do you think the sexiest man alive will be? >> ah -- adam levine again. >> jimmy: you think he'll repeat? i don't know that anyone's ever repeated before. and i can't remember that you remember that adam levine was -- >> my wife likes him. >> jimmy: your wife likes him, all right. very good. all right. in addition to be a gifted hairstylist, our first guest tonight is an exceptionally funny human being. the long-awaited sequel is called "dumb and dumber to." >> aw. you're smiling at me. are you smiling at me? good boy. yes, you are. let me hear you bark for me.

oh, say it don't spray it. >> jimmy: "dumb and dumber to" opens tomorrow. please say hello to jim carrey. [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, thank you for coming. what is that, exactly? is that a gang sign? have you -- >> oh, like you don't know what it is.

you don't know what that is? >> jimmy: i have no idea. >> you don't know, jimmy fallon doesn't know, david letterman doesn't know. all the comics in show business don't know what this is. right? yeah. >> jimmy: what is it? >> come on, jimmy. seriously. the time is up. people are hip to this kind of stuff. i'm here tonight to blow the lid off it, to be the whistle blower. i'm sick and tired of the secrets and the lies. it is the secret symbol of the l illuminati. you're apart of it. and it is the all mocking tongue. >> jimmy: oh. i like it. the symbol of the all mocking tongue. i'm sick of it. i want everybody to be in on the joke, man. you know what i mean? for years now, talk show hosts, people on television, people in sitcoms, have been hired by the government -- [ laughter ] to throw you off the track, to

distract you, to make you laugh, stuff like that, maybe you happy so you don't know what's really going on. get out there in the woods in a circle naked and they decide these things, and, you know -- look at him. look at him trying to cover it up. hilarious. hilarious. and, you know, i'm sick of -- hold on a second. you know what they're trying to do? >> jimmy: who? >> this thing is buzzing. hold on. they're trying to turn us into, you know, you know, consumer drones of some sort. i just have to get this. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah, listen, i'm in the middle of blowing the lid off some -- >> jimmy: what happened? >> i'm sorry, jimmy. i was temporarily interrupted by my iphone 6 plus. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that's the big one,

huh? >> 5.5 hd display. i think what i was really trying to say was, i think people will enjoy "dumb and dumber" this weekend. >> jimmy: and that's what i thought you were about to say. >> we can all go to the theater. you should go to the theater tomorrow and see it. because we could use a good laugh. ha ha ha. [ applause ] we're in it toeg, baby. we're in it together. >> jimmy: by the way -- they should go see it. i watched the movie today and laughed through the whole thing. i mean, what -- the characters are, like, exactly the same and you -- >> i know. it's like the old thing happened again. >> jimmy: it really is. >> it's really great. watching them come off the bus the first time, i just went, they're alive! so glad. >> jimmy: and they haven't changed at all. you would think -- >> well, we changed a tiny

little bit. we're a little bit older. i have two gray pubes. >> jimmy: oh, is that right? >> just two. i only have two. jeff's lost a lot of his. he's doing a comb over at this point. >> jimmy: is he really? [ laughter ] wow. >> kind of scary. >> jimmy: yeah. you hate to see that happen to a friend. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i think the first time most people saw you, me included, was living color" and that show was so popular when -- >> yeah, sometimes i wish i was still on that show. >> jimmy: do you really? >> so many things happened to america that i just -- you want to go back and do a sketch about it. like, the new kim kardashian pictures and stuff. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. yes, we showed that last night. there they are. >> wait, she's backing up! beep, beep, beep! beep, beep, beep! >> jimmy: that would have been perfect. >> i'm all right with that, though. >> jimmy: you are?

yeah, me, too. >> i think it's fantastic. if kanye's okay with it, i'm down. i'm just glad he has a good place to park his bicycle. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i had no idea he was a bicycle rider. >> he loves it. i could lean this up against a tree or -- >> jimmy: you know what it's like to be part of -- to be half of a famous couple. like kim and kanye. >> yeah, sure. >> jimmy: is that something that is difficult for you? >> ah, not really. i mean, you know, it definitely brings more focus, but you know, i've always enjoyed it. i always enjoyed people with talent. ill enjoyed women. i love women. i'm crazy for them. but i'm difficult to have a relationship with. >> jimmy: are you really? >> well, i'm a big fish, man. i'm a big fish. and i have a gigantic spirit, you know? and you can jump in the water and swim along with me for awhite, but if you try to reel me in, i'm take the boat apart. [ laughter ]

i just don't belong. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what? jim carrey is here. go see his movie, it's called "dumb and dumber to." we'll be right back, more with jim. you'll feel really good aboutd putting in your body. i know what you're thinking, but this is new and improved i can't believe it's not butter! 100% taste, 0% artificial preservatives. made with a blend of delicious oils, purified water, and just a pinch of salt. two please, and spread on some extra. i'm here all day. new and improved i can't believe it's not butter. it's time to believe. captain obvious: this is a creepy room. man: oh hey, captain obvious. captain obvious: you should have used hotels.com.

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from sony cameras to sony monitors. the film is scored at a sony recording studio. and released on sony projectors. people like it a lot, including chloe rosman. who today walk's into a store and calmly asks, so... which tv should i get. ♪ ♪ ♪ when the snow comes to cover the ground ♪ ♪ it's a time for play, ♪ it's a whipped cream day ♪ i wait for it all year round ♪ in winter it's a marshmallow world! ♪

( siren wails ) ( pop music playing ) ♪ when you're ready ♪ ready, ready, ready ♪ come and get it ♪ get it, get it ♪ when you're ready, come and get it ♪ ♪ na na na na ♪ na na na na na na na ♪ ♪ when you're ready, come and get it ♪ ♪ na na na na... female announcer: it's a great big world and it can all be yours. here and only here. ♪ come and get it. >> jimmy: hi there, still to come, bellamy young and music fromm from oran "juice" jones. jim carrey is here. thank you for being here on my birthday. >> i'm so glad to be here on court birthday. [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm really happy you were able to make it. >> you're 47 years old. >> jimmy: that is true, yeah.

>> it's so important. besides the movie coming out, i wanted to be sure to make sure you don't break a hip or, you know, that you're cleansed, bathed properly. >> jimmy: i have been paying more attention to, like, prescription drug commercials. >> of course. is your normal antidepressant not enough, akillify. it will kill you. >> jimmy: some of the names of the drugs are actually kind of great. >> they're all centaurs. very terrifying people. >> jimmy: do you have parties on your birthdays? is it something that you celebrate? >> every day of my life is a party, jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] because my joy cannot be contained. i'm too big. i'm too big. it's literally -- my soul does not stop at the edge of my skin. it doesn't stop at the edge of this building. it's true. it's like, i am the container. you can't contain the container.

>> jimmy: i thought you were a fist. >> you cannot contain the container. but i brought you something for your birthday. >> jimmy: you did? >> i did. >> jimmy: oh that's nice. >> here you go. here. there you go. >> jimmy: oh, thank you. >> nice bag and everything. >> jimmy: that's christmas wrapping, isn't it? >> go ahead, stick your hand in there. >> jimmy: should i be nervous? what is that? >> that's a life alert. >> jimmy: oh, thank you. i'll use this. >> if you've fallen and you can't get up, that's what you use. >> jimmy: yeah. >> stuck at the bottom of a stairway whining all day. you know? >> jimmy: thank you, i will treasure this. >> that's not the main present. can you give you the main present? i think you're really going to like this. >> jimmy: okay. >> because i know that you didn't really have a childhood. >> jimmy: i didn't? >> yeah, your parents were crazy. >> jimmy: they were? >> nuts. i know, i heard. i know all about it. i know where we come from. >> jimmy: okay. >> so, wait to make sure that you have a little bit of a childhood.

we're going to do it tonight. come on. >> jimmy: should i come with you? >> come this way! >> jimmy: all right. okay, i have no idea what's going on right now, so -- it appears that jim carrey has left. oh! oh, well, look at this. [ cheers and applause ] >> all right. here we go. >> jimmy: you got me a pony. >> i did. everybody deserves a good pony ride. come on. >> jimmy: oh, a pony ride? [ cheers and applause ] all right. thank you. >> all right. just -- just put your little foot in the stirrup there. just swing your other leg. >> jimmy: okay. >> that's perfect. now, don't show fear. >> jimmy: okay. >> because he'll bolt. he'll go for the barn. >> jimmy: is there a seat belt on this thing? oh. [ applause ]

wow. i never had a pony ride. >> isn't it nice? >> jimmy: this is nice. >> it's nice, right? beautiful. see this? >> jimmy: he got me a pony ride. >> and now we're going to do a seen from -- >> jimmy: how many laps are we taking? >> oh, i don't know. >> jimmy: hey, i'm on a pony, everybody. >> we didn't get that far. >> jimmy: all right, well, maybe we should take a break and, jim, can you stick around? >> yeah. >> jimmy: jim carrey is here. "dumb and dumber to" opens everywhere tomorrow. we'll be right back!

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>> jimmy: hi there, welcome back. bellamy young from scandal and music from oran "juice" jones is on the way. and guess who is sitting in with the band on the drums? it's none other than jim carrey, everybody. jim -- i did not -- i didn't know you were a drummer. >> i do it all. you got to do it all. keep up with the beebers of the

world. >> jimmy: you can't be contained. i've always said that about you. >> i'm the container. >> jimmy: will you -- you want to play a little bit? >> do a little something? >> jimmy: show us what you have there. ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: wow. that's very good. [ laughter ] i hope you have a spare back there. >> i got something back here.ç yeah. >> jimmy: you got your other one. all right. there you go. jim carrey is going to be sitting in with the band.

look at this. who we have here in the front row, by the way. je, our -- [ cheers and applause ] he's a hair stylist and a drummer, everybody. we'll be right back with bellamy young.

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>> jimmy: wow. unbelievable. one of the most talented people in the world, jim carrey on drums. wow. that is beautiful. it is always exciting to have our first lady on the show, even if it's the fictional one. she plays melody grant on "scandal" thursdays at 9:00 on abc. please say hello to bellamy young. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm so good. >> jimmy: thank you for couyour birthday message. >> nothing says happy birthday

than serial killer psychosis. >> jimmy: i love hearing the stories about the pranks that he pulls on you. i get a real kick out of it. >> i don't know why we fall for it over and over and over again. we just -- we're just gullible people. but we love him. >> jimmy: that is all just a trick to get you to do it again the next time. you realize that, right? has he done anything besides that to you specifically? >> well, yeah. i get to share a trailer with him. there were many crazy antics. he's done a nice thing, too, and that -- they were nice enough to nominate me for a critic's choice award this year -- >> jimmy: you won the critic's choice award. >> i did. >> jimmy: congratulations. >> thank you, thank you. and josh conspired with sam ruben, they asked me -- >> jimmy: he's a local entertainment reporter here in l.a. >> yeah, so, i got to read the names, i thought that was an honor enough. i was like, my name isn't on there. but then there was a surprise. now read this card and it said bellamy young.

>> jimmy: this was josh's plan? >> yeah, bless his heart. >> jimmy: you didn't expect to be nominated. you this must been surprised that you won. >> well, equally surprised because i sat down at the awards at a table where clearly you couldn't get to the stage. and so i was like, so excited to be there and having my little dress on. i was like -- and i turned to my manager, i said, if not me, you can't get to the stage from here. >> jimmy: interesting. >> and he's like, no, you can't. >> jimmy: managing expectations, i guess. >> you have to keep it real. you have to keep it real. >> jimmy: that might be a little too real. so then you won and it all worked out beautifully. >> very nice. it was 90 seconds of me. >> jimmy: i have something to tell you. you didn't really win. this is another prank of josh's. and right now the people are at your house taking the trophy back home. your character has been -- >> you are so cute with that hat on.

>> jimmy: oh, thank you. i forgot i had the hat on. by the way, i don't want to make feel jim feel bad, i'm very allergic to horses and my throat is closing up right now. >> he's a doctor, too, right? >> i am a doctor now, yes. i think i found a third drumstick back here. [ rim shot ] >> jimmy: he can give himself a rim shot. for those of us that watch "scandal," your character has gone berserk this year. >> gone. when i was not berserk? >> jimmy: well, eck tra pxtra b. your fiction allison wal son w n fictionally murdered. [ laughter ] and you are taking it pretty hard, we can see. [ laughter ] and you are eating -- your pajamas, your a robe. you are eating fried chicken

constantly. >> yes. >> jimmy: which is -- >> a joy, which is a joy. >> jimmy: well, sure. >> sure. as is a general comfort at work, you know. >> jimmy: aren't you a vegan, though? >> i am. they fabricated our beautiful food stylist april and george is in charge of prop, they went to -- >> jimmy: no one goes there. >> no one's vegan. >> jimmy: we eat meat. >> they fabricated fake, beautiful, like, big chicken legs. >> jimmy: what's in it that you're eating? >> don't ask you. you don't want to ask that. >> jimmy: you are eating some unknown substance that looks like chicken. howl do you pl how do you play a drun snk. >> well, you know, honestly. >> jimmy: do you take -- do you have a few drinks before --? >> no, i don't. >> jimmy: that's what guillermo does. he's a method. >> all the time. >> jimmy: yeah, all the time. right now, as a matter of fact. you don't -- you don't have a couple of drinks. >> no. i -- my beautiful teacher lee,

she has always told me the west part about playing drunk is, you just really have to try to be sober. you really have to focus on being. >> jimmy: i've heard people say that before. yeah that is interesting. and your character got a really terrible nickname this season. >> which one? >> jimmy: smelly melly. >> sure. which rhymes with my actual name. that's real nice, shonda. >> jimmy: and people dress up as smelly melly, eating cereal in their bathrobes. >> this is halloween. maybe they do it all the time, i don't know. this is some of our beautiful gladiators. what, what what. >> jimmy: this is -- >> our crew works so hard, they worked 86 hours the other week. this is jeff and these are our stand-ins, lauren and kara and laura and katherine. >> jimmy: somebody tweeted that. >> sure, another gladiator. that's good. >> jimmy: not good with selfies, by the way. your executive producer, shonda

rhymes dressed as you. >> made a t-shirt of all the mellies. come on. i want that t-shirt. >> jimmy: i don't know if i would want to be stuck with that handle the rest of my life. i don't know if you should be happy with shonda. >> i don't mind. >> jimmy: i want to get to some business that we're going to take care of. oran "juice" jones. i but told you knwas told you k. >> you don't know the song? >> jimmy: they don't. >> they're in for a treat. >> jimmy: you are definitely in for a treat. when we come back, you're going to help us. we have a whole performance thing that's going on here. and guillermo's going be apart of it. bellamy -- smelly belly is going to be apart of it. the whole gang will be there. that's what you're going to get stuck with. >> thanks, james. >> jimmy: we'll come back and do that. "scandal," thursday nights at 9:00 p.m. on abc. bellamy young, everybody. we'll be right back with a very

special performance. )♪ ♪on a tuesday, they locked me up in jail...♪ aunt: ....oh! ....it is you big grown-up! ♪...on a wednesday my trial was attested...♪ aunt: you look beautiful! ♪...they said guilty and the judges gavel fell.♪ irl: hey! uncle: he! girl: not yet! ♪...i got stripes around my shoulders...♪

(crying baby) ♪...and them chains... ♪...them chains... girl: hi! ♪

>> jimmy: i'd like to thank jim carrey, bellamy young, josh malina and apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time. "nightline" is next, but first, here for my birthday, performing the great song "the rain," oran "juice" jones. ♪ >> do you feel good? if you feel good, say real good. ♪ i saw you and him walking in the rain ♪ ♪ you were holding hands and i'll never be the same ♪ ♪ tossing and turning another sleepless night the rain crashes

against my window pane ♪ ♪ jumped into my car didn't drive too far that moment i knew i would never be the same ♪ ♪ i saw you and him walking in the rain ♪ ♪ you were holding hands and i'll never be the same ♪ >> jimmy: i'm doing my best. ♪ now here you are begging to me to give our love another try ♪jeiiñ ♪ girl i love you and i always will ♪ ♪ but darling right now i've got to say goodbye ♪ ♪ i saw you and him walking in the rain ♪

♪ you were holding hands and i'll never be the same ♪ ♪ i saw you and him walking in the rain ♪ ♪ you were holding hands and i'll never be the same ♪ >> hey, hey, baby. how ya doin'? come on in here. got some hot chocolate on the stove waiting for you. listen, first things first. let me hang up the coat. yeah. how was your day today? did you miss me? you did. i missed you too. i missed you so much i followed you today. that's right. now close your mouth 'cause you cold busted. now just sit down here. sit down here. i'm so upset with you, i don't know what to do. you know my first impulse was to run up on you like rambo. i was about to jam you and flat blast both of you but i didn't

wanna mess up your $3,700 lynx coat. so instead, i chilled. that's right. i chilled. then i went to the bank. took out every dime. canceled all your credit cards, yeah. all your charge accounts, yeah. i stuck you up for every piece of jewelry i ever bought you. yeah. that's right, everything. took everything, get fly with me. don't go looking in that closet 'cause you ain't got nothing in there. everything you came here with is packed up and waiting for you in the guest room. what was you thinking about, huh? what were you tryin' to prove, huh? you's with the juice. i gave you silk suits, gucch handbags, blue diamonds. i gave you things you couldn't even pronounce. now i can't give you nothin' but advice 'cause you're still young. you're still young. yes, darling. you know what you got to do right now? you gotta get on outta here with that alley-cat-coat wearin' hush-puppy-shoe- wearing' crumb cake i saw you with 'cause you dismissed. that's right, silly rabbit. tricks are made for kids. don't you know that? you without me like cornflake

without the milk. it's my world. you just a squirrel tryin' to get a nut. now get on outta here. ah! don't touch that coat. ♪ i'll never be the same >> jimmy: wow! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oran "juice" jones! >> come on, take a bow. come on up. ♪ walking in the rain ♪ you were holding ♪ and i'll never be the same >> jimmy kimmel. >> do go looking in that closet. everything you came here with is packed up in the guest room. what was you thinking about? >> i gave her silk suits, gucci handbags. >> jimmy: now i can't give you nothing but advice.

>> you still young. you going to find something else. >> jimmy: i hope you learned a valles son from all of this. this is "nightline." tonight, hipster church. the music is thumping, the pastor is tattooed and the congregation includes people like justin bieber and kevin durant. it's a combination of new school style and old school theology that many love, but some find very controversial. and tonight, what made the pastor cry? plus, worst case survival guide. if your plane crashes, you're stranded at sea -- >> all life goes in front of you. >> and it's in shark-infested waters, here's what to do about it. and yes, our reporter is the offering himself up as bait. and, murder at the mall. newly obtained surveillance video revealing some surprises