>> right now on jimmy kimmle, mel brooks. >> have a good night and a great weekend. next up, new yea >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- don rickles. kevin harvick. and music from chase wright. and now, after all, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: thank you for watching. that's very nice. i had a feeling, i hope you had a happy thanksgiving and are still on speaking terms with your family. they say we eat more than twice our calories on thanksgiving. i went back for seconds and thirds this year. i thought about going for fourths, but i wanted to give myself something to shoot for. the sunday after thanksgiving is always one of the busiest in the year. and the tsa line in chicago was 1.2 miles long.

but well worth it to experience your uncle dan's whisky and string bean breath. and next year, if your name starts with "a" can do thanksgiving first. and did you participate in black friday? there was a lot of senseless violence in norwalk. two women fighting over a barbie doll. if you're a grown-up and you get into a fight over a barbie doll, you should still be forced to do a time-out.

and people were -- the manager of store has to come over and determine who has possession. and if you're fighting in a store, it may be a good time to fight over everything. i wonder if people fought to get a tv and then watched themselves be arrested on it. and we tried to determine who finished on the top of the black friday violence heap. see if you can guess where this happened. >> whoa! whoa!

>> oh! >> jimmy: anybody have a guess as to where it happened? four different stores. >> walmart! >> jimmy: england. all of that happened in england. they don't even have thanksgiving in england. why does that make me feel better about us? i thought they rioted with their pinkies in the air. but this has to be the greatest black friday shopping clip of all time. it's from the good old u.s. of

a. >> they come for the bargains, but leave with bruises. watch what happens at this walmart in michigan. people are trampled. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they're 100% off. despite all the black friday chaos, sales were down this year by 11% compared to last year. part of the reason, cyber monday. combining two things we love, buying things and ignoring our responsibilities at work. guillermo, do you buy anything at all? >> yes. for christmas. two more weeks. >> jimmy: all right. meanwhile, in toronto, at midnight last week, rob ford's

term as greatest mayor in the history of anyplace officially came to an end. right through a wall. he's a city counselor for his word. but he has promised to run again. so, we'll see you. and ron ridon rickles is here w tonight. [ cheers and applause ] >> and from the world of automobile racing, nascar champion kevin harvick is with us. and a singer named chase wright. here in l.a., we had something to be thankful for yesterday. rain in l.a. it hasn't rained here for 22 years. we got almost an inch and a half. did you know it rains in l.a.

with coconut water? and it caused mud slides, which are especially dangerous here in l.a., because they have gluten in them. and our local news gets very excited when this happens. i defy you not to get caught up in this drama. >> this is a downpour, and look at this bin caught in the runoff. it looked like a lot at times. >> jimmy: pray for us. our bins are in a lot of danger. and thanksgiving is a time to reunite with old friends. we caught up with jake byrd. we met outside the michael jackson trial, and years ago when paris hilton when to jail. >> he was remanding miss hilton

to -- >> no, no, no! >> jimmy: that was him there, the one yelling no. and here he is offering support for o.j. >> we respect the process. >> yes! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he is also a fan of rock-bottom prices. and guess who showed up to cut to the front of the lines yesterday? >> is this the first time you camped out in front of a best buy? >> yes, it is. >> tell me about some of the stuff you saw here since monday. >> just a lot of people taking pictures. we played some water pong. that was fun.

>> water pong? >> yeah. >> so, what was your occupation? >> i'm between jobs. >> hey, i'm first in line. yeah! >> does your employer know you're currently here at best buy? >> i'm using vacation days, and my boss is coming with us on black friday. >> i have vacation days off too, and my hepatitis is in remission. that's why i'm here. >> i got out of college at 10:45, so i came here at 12:00. >> oh, a college guy, huh? i'm teaching sexy seniors, so first in line.

>> i'm going to get a play station 4. >> not if i get it first. >> i'm sleeping in this tent tonight. i will get the baseball bat out of my truck if i need to. >> i would like to read a poem about black friday, i would like to, but i can't read since i fell out of that tree. so, it's a hand turkey. >> hopefully, i make it out of this. >> yeah, you will. yeah, you will, neighbor. we'll touch later. >> no, you won't. wow. >> like bill cosby says, you got to go to sleep sometime. >> i have this for thanksgiving for us. spill some for dead pilgrims. like that.

you can kill it. >> i'm allergic, man. >> i'm thankful for my family, and thankful they're always supporting me. >> i'd like to say i'm thankful for plastic sheets and ornaments. and the chupacabras and the grown-up section, and this little lady here. come on. >> what's going to happen, i'm going to end up taking down that guy later. excuse me, stay out of my tent! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight, we have music from chase wright. and kevin harvick is here. the great don rickles is here.

and when we come back, i will attempt to create a new christmas classic with the killers, so stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back. don rickles, kevin harvick and music from chase rice are on the way. but first, i grew up in las vegas and i share that unusual distinction with the band the killers. they're from vegas. and every year since 2006, the killers write and record a special christmas song for a very good charity, the red campaign. they oftentimes collaborate on these. some of the artists they've worked with in the past include the band dawes, neil tennant, elton john, and so, needless to say, i was flattered when they asked me to be a part of it this year. and so we got together and kicked some ideas around and the result, i believe, is what may very well be the greatest holiday song ever recorded by non-chipmunks. take a look. >> rock it again?

i don't know, it's -- jimbo! >> jimmy: who's ready to make a christmas classic? >> we are. >> jimmy: i brought christmas sweaters. this is for you, brandon. this is for ronnie. this is for dave. this one is for mark. go ahead, put them on. feel free. >> thanks. >> cool. >> jimmy: get in the spirit. i got a lot of great ideas. a lot of great ideas. you like the sweaters? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yours lights up. >> cool. flashy. >> jimmy: what is there about christmas? there have been so many christmas songs written. what can we do that hasn't been done before? how about this one? a very yolo christmas? [ laughter ] the word yolo is super hot right now. >> what does that mean? >> jimmy: hello. >> do you know what it means? >> is that like fro-yo. >> jimmy: no, it means, you only live once. yolo. you only live once.

you don't know that? >> no. >> jimmy: i guess that's out. >> yolo. >> jimmy: how about something about grandma getting run over not by a reindeer, but in this case, run over by a fat family who is waiting in line on black friday to buy a blu-ray player or something like that for $18? [ laughter ] okay. um -- what about a song where the players are going to play, play, play and the haters are going to hate, hate, hate, hate, hate? >> that's a taylor swift song. we can't use that. >> that's a taylor swift song. >> jimmy: so? it's for charity. >> it's stealing. >> jimmy: oh. there's trees. there's candy canes. >> i like sentimental christmas songs. >> jimmy: you do? what about santa? how do you feel about him? >> good to keep him in the loop. >> jimmy: what rhymes with north pole? >> goal. >> mole. >> jimmy: you have a thing on your face this christmas. all i want for christmas is to get this horrible mole removed from my neck?

>> coal. >> jimmy: coal is good. what if we made lump of coal a character, like, frosty the snowman -- >> i like that. joel the lump of coal. >> jimmy: joel the lump of coal. maybe joel is, like, he just -- like, he wants -- he wants to tell people that the haters are going to hate, hate, hate, and the players are going to play, play, play? >> you really like that one, don't you? >> jimmy: i love it. i love it. yeah. ♪ long time ago ♪ santa's sleigh -- >> jimmy: you'll be singing this? you'll be the one singing? [ laughter ] you're right. that's -- >> we can duet -- >> jimmy: go ahead. i'm going to write some of these notes down. ♪ long time ago ♪ santa's place

♪ up in the old north pole >> jimmy: yeah, that's good. ♪ there lived a lump of anthracite ♪ ♪ there lived a lump of anthracite ♪ ♪ his parents called him joel >> jimmy: okay. let's record this thing. >> all right, let's do it. >> jimmy: okay, brandon, we're going to roll tape now, so sing into the microphone. >> okay. cool, yeah. >> jimmy: and a one and a two and a -- ♪ ♪ santa's place ♪ up in the old north pole >> jimmy: can i stop you one second? you look ridiculous in that sweater. >> you gave it to me. >> jimmy: oh, sorry. all right, well, keep going. sorry. ♪ there lived a lump of anthracite whose parents called him joel ♪ >> sometimes it sounds like you're saying joe instead of joel.

let's not forget that "l." >> joel. joel. >> jimmy: like imagine you're an old jewish grandmother. joel. like, oh, like noel, except not at all like noel. like joel. >> joel. okay. ♪ there lived a lump of anthracite, whose parents called him joel ♪ >> jimmy: brandon? just wanted to say, i think -- it sounds really great. [ laughter ] you want to do this for real? >> yeah. i'm trying. >> jimmy: let's do it. ♪ some time ago ♪ santa's place ♪ up in the old north pole ♪ there lived a lump of anthracite ♪ ♪ whose parents called him joel ♪ ♪ joel joel the lump of coal ♪ happy as a lump can be ♪ he just wants to keep staying warm ♪

♪ santa claus had other plans ♪ for joel that day ♪ joel, you're just the lump i need ♪ ♪ come join me on my sleigh ♪ joel, joel, the lump of coal ♪ lucky girl or boy ♪ we love to play together ♪ we'll hold each other tight ♪ when we go to sleep at night ♪ santa's el fs are laughing joel ♪ ♪ you're in for a surprise ♪ you're not a special christmas gift ♪ ♪ you're just a prize ♪ what kid would ever want you ♪ you're filthy as can be ♪ now you have to go and live with one that's been naughty ♪

♪ well that made joel cry ♪ you pollute the air ♪ with co2 ♪ and mercury ♪ joel, joel ♪ the lump of coal ♪ fell down upon his knees ♪ i don't want to live with the naughty kids ♪ ♪ don't make me, santa, please ♪ but santa laughed his jolly laugh ♪ ♪ oh ♪ you stupid lump ♪ you're just the thing to teach this brat that santa ain't no chump ♪ ♪ so off they flew and before he knew ♪ ♪ joel was in his sack ♪ he cried to santa claus ♪ why don't we just go back ♪ then came christmas morning ♪ and much to joel's surprise ♪ he saw a boy with the saddest face ♪ ♪ tears were in his eyes

♪ he picked up joel and held him ♪ ♪ said, you can be my friend ♪ i would have liked some presents ♪ ♪ but you're what santa chose to send ♪ ♪ i've been a naughty boy ♪ this is how santa treats the kids ♪ ♪ i'm glad i'm not him ♪ joel, joel ♪ the lump of coal ♪ knew what he must do ♪ now i know the reason why i got sent to you ♪ ♪ when a person hurts inside ♪ it turns him hard and cruel ♪ but i know how to make your pain ♪ ♪ into a precious jewel ♪ so take me in your hand young man ♪ ♪ squeeze with all your might ♪ turn your pain and anger into something that shines bright ♪

♪ joel, joel ♪ the lump of coal ♪ he gave his life away ♪ a once naughty little boy ♪ ♪ joel, joel, the lump of coal ♪ knew what he must do ♪ yes now i know >> jimmy: you can download "joel the lump of coal" on itunes. all proceeds go to the red campaign. thanks to the killers! we'll be right back with the great don rickles. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪[music continues]u ♪

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find it at the pharmacy counter. >> jimmy: hello again. tonight, the reigning nascar sprint cup series champion, kevin harvick is here. and then, his new album is called "ignite the night," chase

rice from the at&t stage. tomorrow night on the program, ethan hawke will be here, timothy spall will be here and we will have music from walk the moon. our first guest tonight may well be the funniest man who ever lived. he is beloved by all ages thanks in part to a plastic potato to whom he gives voice again in "toy story that time forgot", it airs tomorrow night at 8:00 here on abc. and you can see him live january 17th at the saban theatre in beverly hills and at the orleans hotel in vegas february 21st and 22nd. please welcome mr. warmth, don rickles. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: welcome, don. very good to see you. did you have a good thanksgiving? >> i'm not ready yet. >> jimmy: i'm sorry. >> nice to see so many young people and the elders in the back spitting up all over the place. [ laughter ] god bless you all. it's nice to see you. before we go any further, have a happy and healthy holiday, really. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, that's nice. >> i love christmas because i'm a jew and we sell you people the trees. [ laughter ] you're still a dumbbell like i left you. good to see you, jimmy. with all the shows going off, you're going to be the billionaire guy in the world. look at this crowd. nobody's dressed. look at the front. >> jimmy: in the old days, people would come, wear a suit, dress up to go out. >> a chinese guy, a mexican guy. a black guy. what -- where the hell are we?

>> jimmy: the melting pot, don. everyone comes together to melt. >> i know what it is. you don't have to -- good to see you, god bless you, gentlemen. wonderful guys. did they get their visas? >> jimmy: he's okay, too, over there. >> the announcer, what's his name? >> jimmy: dicky. >> i know my guy's name, but what's his name? [ laughter ] >> that's what my mother used to say, don't touch your dicky. >> jimmy: hey, i -- >> guillermo. god bless you. >> you, too. >> he never liked you. >> jimmy: is that right? have you heard that? >> that's right. >> jimmy: very good to see you. >> thanks, jim. how are things? >> jimmy: i'm good. how are you? >> i've got this cane, walking

like a wounded guy. i was in world war ii, the whole thing in the philippines, i came home, i got a little pimple on my foot and it turned out to be a skin disease and i went right into my leg and they could have taken my leg but i didn't worry about it because johnny depp's my friend and i promised me a pirate picture. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: looking for my purell over here. that's nothing i should worry about? >> no, your personality, you'll die soon. [ laughter ] no -- god forbid, that was a joke. >> jimmy: thank you. >> i saw your parents outside. >> jimmy: oh, you did? >> begging for money. [ laughter ] his parents are sitting outside with a shawl, going, tell jimmy we need money. and he's in here with the smart suit and the mexican band. [ laughter ] you guys aren't mexican. you're what? >> mexican. >> and you see how full of fun they are? >> jimmy: how is your wife? do you go shopping for her for the holidays? >> no more shopping.

these are tough times today. >> jimmy: you don't do any shopping? >> no, she has one beautiful ring, she goes to the airport and signals ships. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: at the airport? why would she do just a thing? >> because i think it's funny, that's why. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: meanwhile -- [ cheers and applause ] >> sound like newhart. why did you say the airport? because they laughed, okay? >> jimmy: it doesn't matter. >> no. >> jimmy: i thought i knew everything about you and i read your autobiography, we spent time together socially, but i did not know until today that you were a boy scout. you were in a boy scout troop. this is a real boy scout troop. >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: get a closeup here. that is a closeup and see if you can guess which one is don rickles. right there in the middle. >> with a lot of hair. >> jimmy: yeah, a lot of hair. >> how do you like that? >> jimmy: did you get any merit badges? were you known for anything? did you have achievements in the boy scouts? >> yeah, i used to wet my pants. >> jimmy: they gave badges for that?

>> no, i -- my family always wanted me to be in boy scouts. you have a star, this, that. it's a good organization for young people. >> jimmy: sure, yeah. >> i was a kid from the neighborhood. i did all the jokes and all and the scout master had a sense of humor like a dead mule -- >> jimmy: he did not appreciate your comedy? >> no, he was a good guy. it was good training. i learned a lot. >> jimmy: you keep in touch with any of those guys? >> every day. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you -- so, you are performing -- >> first time in los angeles in years. >> jimmy: i'm going to come to this. >> it costs money, jimmy. >> jimmy: i'll pay to come. you can't get me in for free? >> no. you're a real -- he wants everything for free. comp me, comp me. no, jimmy. we're going out for dinner tonight. how does it look? you or me? >> jimmy: i'll comp you on this one. >> oh, i'm going to order -- >> jimmy: and then you're performing in las vegas.

you still love going on stage? >> you know, god has been good to me in the sense that this is still with me and, you know, this leg, the poison went into the leg, seriously, could have been very, very bad. thank god, i'm working on it, it will come back. i sit in a chair like i am now and i ha ha ha with the jokes. and the boss goes, $4 million -- there it is, don, thank you so much. >> jimmy: $4 million? you could give me a comp then, i think. >> you don't make that? >> jimmy: no. >> boy, this network is screwing you bad, boy. i tell you that. >> jimmy: you are also set to be a part of "toy story 4," the next "toy story" is coming out. [ cheers and applause ] some of the best movies ever. >> tomorrow night's the special. >> jimmy: tomorrow night here on abc. >> those people at disney are great, you know? my grandsons, they love it and the kids love it. >> jimmy: have you ever played with the mr. potato head doll?

>> in the tub. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: we learned a lot about don tonight. well, the show, the television show, not to be confused with the movie, it's called "toy story that time forgot." it's tomorrow at 8:00 on abc. go see don love in concert january here in l.a. and then in las vegas in february at the orleans. we'll be right back with kevin harvick. don rickles, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello there. still to come, music from chase rice. our next guest is the newly crowned nascar sprint cup series champion, with a shiny silver trophy to prove it. from car number 4, please say hello to kevin harvick. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: wow. this is really too much. thank you so much, kevin. i never expected you to give me this. >> well, the good news is, i haven't gotten one yet, either. they won't give that one to me, so -- >> jimmy: why? it's like the stanley cup, you carry it around? >> i guess. at least they put my name. >> jimmy: there's nobody else's name on it. does that work like that, they don't put everyone's name on it year after year? they just -- >> no, there's just an individual one each year, so -- i don't really know. this is all a little bit new to me. >> jimmy: i'd put this on the hood of my car if i was you. >> we've been carrying it around. we called it our girlfriend and it's a tiffany trophy. her name is tiffany. so, she's our wife-approved girlfriend.

>> jimmy: where do you carry tiffany around? >> we carried her through the streets of new york. l.a. to pretty much every show that we've done, so -- >> jimmy: wow. >> here we are. >> jimmy: why are you carrying this around? >> well, i guess everybody wants to see it? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: for people to see it. good looking trophy. it's serious. so, you've been competing in the series since, like, for a long time now, what, 14 years? >> almost 15 years. >> jimmy: okay. what's the celebration like after you win the title? i mean -- >> well, the celebration was pretty good this year. we're fortunate to have a sponsor like budweiser, who has a great beverage to start celebrations with. and end celebrations with. >> jimmy: if m&ms are your sponsor -- >> the party's not nearly as good. budweiser and jimmy john's, they make a great partner. we went through 80 cases of beer after the race. se o -- >> jimmy: dale jr. was here just before the start of the season and we're talking about this playoff, the thing that they've come up with and he said he did not understand how it worked at

all. >> i don't think any of us did. >> jimmy: even you who won it don't know how it works. >> we know how it works now, but i don't think any of us knew what was going to happen and in the end, the intensity level was way up from what we had in the past, just for the fact that winning was so important. that was your golden ticket to advance through the rounds of the chase. >> jimmy: that seems obvious to people watching at home, but in the past, where you finished mattered also, was more -- >> it did. in the end, it was -- we had won races and you had guys that hadn't won races. it was a good mix of people that had won races throughout the year and consistency and got in on points and at the end of the day, the last race, all four cars were running for the win and whoever finished the highest was who won the championship, so, it definitely made it more interesting, especially to the casual fan. >> jimmy: let me ask, i'm interested in this fight you were kind of sort of involved in

with brad keselowski and jeff gordon and let's take a look at the video here. okay. there you are. and brad. >> yeah, well -- you know, i didn't realize we were really six inches away from mayhem there, but -- i've been in that situation before with brad and i was trying to make sure he went in there and talked about his situation with jeff and it turned into a disaster. >> jimmy: you wanted him to make sure he was part of the discussion group. >> exactly. >> jimmy: let's look at that again. it was really like -- hey, get in there -- almost like cockfighting and you are tossing your bird into the ring. >> cockfighting is the first of describing it. i turned twitter and all the social media and everything off, you know, the next couple weeks because obviously i wasn't the number one fan on most, especially 24 and 2 fan lists, so -- i did learn after the championship was over that there

was a hashtag, i guess there was #harvicking. >> jimmy: yeah, i like that. harvicking. so, this is -- a photograph -- there's you and your wife and your son. how old is your son? >> my son is about 2 1/2. >> jimmy: he's adorable. is he excited? does he know what's going on? >> he was super excited that night. we had been sitting up against the wall and one of the best moments of the whole night was, he and i were sitting up against the wall at the racetrack and he was infatuated with throwing the rubber down the racetrack from the top of the racetrack. so, he was excited about that. day two of the media tour, i facetimed home, i said, well, what do you think about daddy's championship, and he was like -- bad, daddy. you need to come home. >> jimmy: he just wants you home. >> he wasn't digging the fact that we were on the road. >> jimmy: but he must enjoy all the budweiser. >> yeah. [ laughter ] you know what's funny about that is -- every day -- we have this little corvette that he drives around in the driveway. we'll get out and we'll be driving around the driveway and he'll stop and he'll get out and heel jump on the hood and go

whoo! and i'm like, what are you doing? he's like, victory lane. okay. he's like, spray water, daddy? spray water? he thinks it's water that we're spraying in victory lane, so every day we have a victory lane celebration and we go through the hat dance and so, yeah -- >> jimmy: that's adorable. we should get him a trophy. >> i'm hoping for golf. >> jimmy: it's very good to have you here. congratulations on your championship. go get 'em next year with that harvicking. i like the harvicking. i'd do that a lot. kevin harvick, everybody. we'll be right back with chase rice. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: i'd like to thank don rickles, kevin harvick and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next. but first, this is his new cd. it's called "ignite the night." here with the song "gonna wanna tonight," chase rice. [ cheers and applause ]

♪ ♪ if you wanna climb a ladder on a water tower ♪ ♪ then we'll kick it with the stars for a couple hours ♪ ♪ if you wanna then we're gonna get way up high ♪ ♪ if you wanna dip your toes where the water stops ♪ ♪ then we'll let our feet hang off a fishin' dock ♪ ♪ if you wanna then we're gonna have to give it a try that's right ♪ ♪ if you wanna go away out where there ain't nobody around ♪ ♪ and let your long hair get to fallin' down ♪ ♪ and let your red lips leave

their mark all over mine ♪ ♪ if you wanna then we're gonna girl i hope you're gonna wanna tonight ♪ ♪ if you wanna then we're gonna girl i hope you're gonna wanna all night ♪ ♪ if you wanna catch a buzz and ride it till the mornin' ♪ ♪ let's get two plastic cups ♪ and baby i'll get to pourin' ♪ it don't really matter if it's whiskey or wine it's fine ♪ ♪ if you wanna go way out where there ain't nobody around ♪ ♪ and let your long hair get to fallin' down ♪ ♪ and let your red lips leave their mark all over mine ♪ ♪ fill up the night air with the radio ♪ ♪ and put your hands wherever they wanna go ♪

♪ yeah we're right there girl just close your eyes ♪ ♪ if you wanna then we're gonna girl i hope you're gonna wanna tonight ♪ ♪ if you wanna then we're gonna girl i hope you're gonna wanna all night ♪ ♪ gonna wanna get a little closer gonna wanna ♪ ♪ slide it on over gonna wanna ♪ gonna wanna go way out where there ain't nobody around ♪ ♪ and let your long hair get to fallin' down and let your red lips leave their mark all over mine ♪ ♪ come on fill up the night air with the radio ♪ ♪ and put your hands wherever they wanna go yeah ♪ ♪ we're right there girl just

close your eyes ♪ ♪ if you wanna then we're gonna girl i hope you're gonna wanna tonight ♪ ♪ if you wanna then we're gonna girl i hope you're gonna wanna all night ♪ ♪ gonna wanna get a little closer ♪ ♪ gonna wanna slide it on over gonna wanna yeah gonna wanna tonight ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

this is a special edition of "nightline." sex tourism takedown. >> americans are coming here for more than just the beautiful beaches. over 1 million children are sold here. and now, the unusual group on a dangerous rescue mission. a former fbi ability, even a hollywood actress, with a massive undercover operation. they need to catch them red-handed first. there's a girl 14 years old? >> i lied