with us. >> we appreciate your time as always. right now on jimmy kimmel actor joaquin phoenix. kimmel actor joaquin phoenix. >> >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, joaquin phoenix. from comedy central, larry wilmore. "this week in unnecessary censorship." and music from frankie ballard. with cleto and the cletones. and now, i kid you not, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi, everyone. welcome to the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming.

welcome. [ cheers and applause ] all of you visiting us here in hollywood. let me tell you, if you are here from out of town, you picked a good time to be here because it's very cold in the other half of the country right now and very, very warm and lovely here in l.a. it was like 75 degrees or something here today. [ cheers and applause ] i have to say, i'm a little jealous. at least when the roads are closed in the midwest it's because of something fun like snow. the only time roads here shut down are when parts of bruce jenner's face fall into the streets. a lot of schools were closed today. around the country. the windchill below freezing in orlando today. the people dressed up as frozen at disney world were literally frozen. a lot of people are sick, too. anybody here in our audience sick? get the hell out -- no. ew! maybe i better. the flu season is especially bad this season.

chris harrison from "the bachelor" says this will be the most dramatic flu season yet. yet the flu shot wasn't as effective as they hoped it would be. now we have an epidemic which is bad news for people but good news for drugstores. sales are up at walgreen's, rite aid, and cvs. they're probably the ones spreading the flu, by the way. somewhere out there there's a wall grown's executive licking doorknobs. they say that going to the drug store to buy flu medicine results in a big increase in greeting card sales because it's nice to let your loved ones know you are thinking of them when you feel like throwing up. a lot of these places, drugstores give out flu shots. i have mixed feelings. about getting a flu shot at a drugstore. i don't feel particularly confident about getting a medical procedure done in the shadow of a five-pound bag of m&ms. yeah, i was at the drugstore last week. and i was thinking about it. and it occurred to me that ground zero for most disease is that little electronic stylus attached to the credit card

swiper at the pharmacy counter. i'm not a germ freak. i'll eat food off the floor if i drop it. why would we all touch that thing? everyone who uses it is sick. those styluses, they're crawling with bacteria. they should store them in that blue liquid they have at the barber shop. some don't even use the stylus. they use their finger. which is even more repulsive. you ever notice the only people still writing checks are old people, which maybe that's why they are old. they are living longer because they don't touch those disgusting electronic pads. something to think of. if you've been watching the show this week you know i'm on a crusade against stores, particularly drugstores and supermarkets, that give you insanely long receipts. the same stores that make you pay for a bag to carry your stuff in to save the environment are printing these enormous receipts out. someone on twitter had a good idea, she tweeted to me, they should print them on toilet

paper so we can then take them home and use them. which i thought was pretty smart. viewers have been tweeting photos of some of the most egregious offenders. this guy went to kroger. getting one box of imodium and i thought of you. thank you very much. nice to know i'm being thought of. this one is from francis. cvs done did it again. not going to lie. the $4.50 back is useful. okay. but it doesn't mean you print on it a piece of paper longer than an anaconda. here's another one from katie. this is my 42-inch stop & shop receipt. 3 1/2 feet long. this is from akamai okole. i don't know how to pronounce it. but anyway. bought a pair of shoes from sears. that's weird for two reasons, by the way. here's one from -- this is from matt machua. three receipts for one cheeseburger at five guys. i think they have too many guys is the problem.

this is not just going on here in the united states. this is a tweet from spain. it says same here in barcelona. half amazon for three pizzas and discounts and cuisine course. sad. see? i agree with that. and here's one. this is from lorenzo. this is from apple's reuse and recycling program. it's about 40 inches. which is ironic. this is from brea stone. i'm 5'6". the receipt is from my hip to the floor from cvs which seems to be the primary offender. and erica conway. school supply receipt for me and my ten siblings measured in at 11 feet. total price -- 11 feet! that's two guillermos. one on top of each other. [ cheers and applause ] nicely done, office max. so thanks to everyone for sending these. please keep doing it. i'll show more next week. we'll stay on top of this.

eventually i'll lose interest and nothing will happen. today, by the way is elvis presley and north korean dictator kim jong-un's birthdays. [ cheers and applause ] who are you clapping for? elvis would have been 80 today. kim jong-un is either 32 or 33. they actually aren't sure. north korean scholars are divided on whether he was born in 1982 or '83. they do agree when the glorious leader entered the world, a silver-winged eagle descended from the heavens and promised a thousand years of prosperity for his people. that should kick in any day. last year, he had dennis rodman on hand to sing to him. you remember? this year a low-key celebration. spent the day at home reading sony's e-mails. [ laughter ] so happy birthday to him. paris hilton is back in the news today because she bought two new dogs for a total cost of $25,000. for two dogs. for $25,000, those dogs had

better pick up her poop for her. [ cheers and applause ] paris bought two pomeranian puppies from a breeder in canada. they weigh 6 and 12 ounces each. so they are rats. she bought two canadian rats for $25,000. paris posted this video on instagram today. >> oh, my god, she's so cute. sessed. >> jimmy: did she say obsessed? sessed? well, she's very busy. you don't have time for all those syllables. she is #sessed, #blessed, all of those things. she loves -- how do you pay that much money for a 6 ounce dog? what kind of a life -- they are so tiny.

they can't even reach each other's dog butts. they're missing out on the greatest joys of dogdom. instead of legs, they have to hump toes. so congratulations, paris. i'm glad to see she's investing her money wisely. on monday in arlington, texas, the oregon ducks face the ohio state buckeyes in the first ever college football playoff national championship game. it's like the super bowl of college football. we'll be at the game. guillermo, cousin sal and i are going to texas to name one clever fan. [ cheers and applause ] not sure if you are welcoming me there or happy that i'm going to be leaving here. but i appreciate it nonetheless. we're going to name one clever fan lord of the poster board. what you need to do is come to the game. make a funny sign and add the #lotpb, lord of the poster board. and at halftime i will present the first-ever golden sharpie award to whoever makes the best one. it's kind of a combination of -- kind of like an art contest and mini essay contest combined. it should be fun.

fans of both of these schools are foaming at the mouth. you can imagine how much anticipation there is. for this national championship game. tonight to get the competition going we're going to pit a student from each school against each other, via the internet in our cfp student scavenger hunt. with that logo we created. let's meet our contestants. first off, a senior at the university of oregon coming to us live from her home in eugene. say hello to allison schwab. hello, allison. [ cheers and applause ] >> hi. >> you have a duck there in the back. a donald duck. i understand your duck's pride is hereditary. >> yeah, my mom went to oregon back in the day. >> jimmy: did you feel like you had to go there? >> no, i always wanted to go here. i'm a journalism student. they have a great journalism program. it all worked out pretty well. >> jimmy: that's your major, journalism? >> advertising, yeah. >> jimmy: oh, good. the world needs more advertising. >> of course.

>> jimmy: next, your opponent representing ohio state, also a senior. say hello to tate moore. hello, tate. [ cheers and applause ] hey, tate. >> hey, what's going on? >> jimmy: are those your underpants? your connection is a little shaky. what were you holding up there? >> i'm holding up my flags. >> jimmy: that's a flag? >> the ohio state flag gloves. >> jimmy: it looks profane. it looks obscene. you are a big supporter of ohio state football? >> yes. >> jimmy: you figured out a way to have the football team help to pay your tuition? >> i buy student tickets every year and pair them up on craigslist. they pay my way through college. the adults pay for them. >> jimmy: you are a ticket scalper? >> absolutely. >> jimmy: you do love the team. >> for sure. >> jimmy: i heard you are getting a tattoo if they win? >> yeah, me and five of my buddies. we've got it pasted out and we're getting it on our butt if we win.

>> jimmy: you going to do this all together? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: oh. this is the kind of thing women don't do. it seems like a solid life decision. so tate, where are you chatting with us from? >> the fraternity house on campus. >> jimmy: allison, where are you? >> i'm from my own house, nonfraternity. >> jimmy: all right, all right. let's get this going. the rules are very simple. a scavenger hunt. i'll name an item or give you a task. your job is to get it or do it as quickly as you can. you cannot use help from anyone in the house. if you do use help, you'll be disqualified, i'll have you thrown out of the school for cheating, i'll have you arrested. you understand? >> yes. >> jimmy: all right. round one, bring back the last thing your parents sent you, funniest item wins. okay? last thing your parents sent you. here they go. if you have already eaten it, throw it up. okay. here comes allison.

allison, who sent that to you, allison? >> this was the last time i was home i left some alcohol there, so my mom sent it back for me. >> jimmy: was that a passive-aggressive move? >> she just knows we like to have fun. >> jimmy: tate, what do you have? >> my parents sent me some toilet paper for the weekend. >> jimmy: round one goes to tate. allison, you'll have to dig deep it seems like. >> you don't even have anything at ohio state, you're just not relevant. >> jimmy: well, they have toilet paper. round two, come back with something you would not want your mom to know you have. extra points if you come back with a baby. oh my goodness.

allison, what a decorative pen holder that is. >> it's a vase. >> jimmy: what a beautiful vase. tate, what do you have? >> i'm a proud member of the ohio state university condom club. >> jimmy: i'm giving that one to allison. she got a real item. we're all tied up. your final challenge, i would like you to paint your face with your school colors using whatever you have available in the house. you understand? oh, there you go. i can't legally tell them to use permanent marker, but i also can't legally tell them not to. i'm going to leave that up to them. okay. ohio state colors. what do you have there? hot sauce. >> and here's the ranch. >> jimmy: oh my goodness. wow. [ cheers and applause ] you know what -- we're going to have to give that to tate. i don't know where allison is.

tate, congratulations. you are our winner for sure. for your efforts we're going to give you a pair of tickets to the national championship game on monday. [ cheers and applause ] where's allison? allison -- allison, you're a little bit slow. i guess you didn't have relish. we're also going to give you a pair of tickets to the national championship. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. thanks, kids. have fun at the game. one more thing. thursday night, it's time for our weekly tribute to the fcc where we bleep and blur things whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> officials at the london zoo started a mammoth task today. they are [ bleep ] every animal they have. >> i'm going to stick around as long as you'll have me. so [ bleep ], [ bleep ], [ bleep ], [ bleep ], [ bleep ].

>> you are doing no good talking to me. get in the house and go [ bleep ] these women. >> all right. >> you can find out more information at [ bleep ].org. >> i was in a driverless car. it was unbelievable. [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. >> another new series for the new year is called [ bleep ] test. >> some of the [ bleep ] neighbors say they just couldn't swallow. >> you either limbo or you [ bleep ] the sheep. >> i would insure it for $1 million. >> holy smokes. >> it is the greatest archive i have ever had at the road show. >> holy [ bleep ]. >> so remember, volcano, forest, [ bleep ]. say it with me. volcano, forest, [ bleep ]. volcano, forest, [ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ]

tonight on the show. we have music from frankie ballard. larry wilmore is here, and we'll be right back with joaquin phoenix. stick around. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ who cares how tight it can if turn, if it can't turn heads? who cares how capable it is, if it's incapable of creating a reaction? any suv can move something. but can it move you? introducing the first-ever lexus nx turbo and hybrid. once you go beyond utility, there's no going back. the adventures you've been imagining. the heroes you've been admiring.

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>> jimmy: welcome back. tonight, the new host of "the nightly show with larry wilmor"" from comedy central, larry wilmore, is here. then later, a singer and guitarist from battle creek, michigan. his album and number one single are both called "sunshine and whiskey." frankie ballard from the at&t stage. you can see frankie live on the "anything goes tour" with the florida georgia line one week from tonight in toledo, ohio. next week on the show, we'll be joined by johnny depp, kaley cuoco-sweeting, patricia arquette, omar epps, marion cotillard, jessica chastain, and we'll have music from childish gambino, steel panther, and

kandace springs. so please join us for all of that. our first guest tonight is a three-time oscar-nominated actor whose name contains many of the most valuable letters in all of scrabble. he is nominated for a best actor golden globe for his latest movie "inherent vice." it opens everywhere tomorrow. please say hello to joaquin phoenix. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you doing? you have that same coat? that's weird, isn't it? >> that may come in handy. >> jimmy: how are you doing, you nut? >> i'm good. how about you? >> jimmy: i'm doing well, thank you. i watched your movie. thought you were great. i love paul thomas anderson. i think he did a great job. [ cheers and applause ] for those who haven't seen the movie, which is most people because it comes out tomorrow, he plays a detective who's high pretty much the whole time. kind of like shaggy in "scooby-doo" really.

>> uh-huh. >> jimmy: you know all this stuff. i don't know why i'm telling you. >> it's actually new to me, it's pretty interesting. keep going. >> jimmy: have you seen the film? do you watch your movie? >> tell me more. >> jimmy: you do a lot of different drugs throughout the movie. there's smoking and all sorts of -- >> you didn't see the movie, did you? >> jimmy: i did see the movie, quiz me on the movie. of course i saw it. >> what's my character's name? >> jimmy: oh, your character's name is -- what the hell is your character's name. you know, it's weird. i remember martin short's character name. >> what was? >> jimmy: even though he was only in the movie for -- >> it was memorable. jimmy: it was dr. -- like murgatroid or something. what was martin short's character's name? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: flatnoid. that's what it was. i was close. pretty close. this is your fifth golden globe nomination, yes? >> i don't think so. >> jimmy: yes. >> really? i don't think so. is this mine?

>> jimmy: yeah, that's yours, enjoy. that's water. >> thank you very much. i don't think so. that seems inconceivable. >> jimmy: you know, it says it on this card. fifth golden globe. you've had a lot. you don't care that much about awards, do you? >> no, it's great. what do you mean? it's great. i love it. you know who i do find attractive is that amy -- what is her name? poehler? >> jimmy: amy poehler? you do? >> yeah, i think she's very attractive. >> jimmy: you're answering questions i haven't even asked. >> because she's hosting the globes, she's having a party. i'm going to go. i'm a little nervous about seeing her. i don't know what to say. >> jimmy: oh, i see. you shouldn't be nervous about seeing her. you should be nervous about what she's going to say. i saw her last night. and she's been -- >> you've been seeing her? >> jimmy: i didn't see her, see her. her boyfriend was on the show last night. yeah. but he hasn't been nominated for nearly as many awards as you have. >> all right! [ cheers and applause ]

so you're saying definitely -- they have a solid relationship? >> jimmy: they've been going out for a while. i think about a year now. if you want to break it up, though. i'm sure nick would be happy to step aside. >> i don't think so. >> jimmy: no, yeah. they're great hosting that show. that will be fun. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: do you drink during the show? i know a lot of people will get drunk during the golden globes? >> i've had champagne. >> jimmy: you brought your mom last year. to the show. >> going right to my mom? >> jimmy: i wonder if she gets drunk also. >> mom does not get drunk. >> jimmy: does she have fun? does she stay out? >> i mean, that's really -- i like going with her to the globes because she does, she has a great time. she laughs at all the jokes and seems to really enjoy herself. >> jimmy: you will take her? >> i will take her. >> jimmy: does she go to the parties with you afterwards? >> you know, last year, diddy had an after party. and we went there. i didn't know what to expect. i said let's go to this party.

>> jimmy: mommy and diddy. >> yeah. all the waitresses are wearing lingerie. and like it's a very like overtly sexual kind of party. so my mom is like ordering drinks from these waitresses in lingerie. but the thing is my mom can like boogie. she gets out. she doesn't [ bleep ] around. she doesn't drink but she likes to dance and set off the dance floor. so funny, the deejay was spinning and nobody was dancing. she got out there and she started dancing. i walked out for a minute, came back in and she was dancing with usher. like really kind of like sexy. [ cheers and applause ] it was like -- so she has a good time. >> jimmy: that's pretty great. your mom dancing with usher. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: i mean, you're never going to be able to bring a date to this thing again. your look in this movie is quite -- it almost is -- i was

thinking like a little woody allen in "annie hall," you know, that look. you know, with the rumpled look, but it's neil young that we've got going here, right? [ cheers and applause ] >> why are they clapping? >> jimmy: they like neil young. >> oh, that makes sense. that's great. he was an inspiration for the look. paul brought in all these photos of neil. he was an inspiration. that does look similar. >> jimmy: yeah, it does. that's why i brought this up. you know what we'll do, we'll take a break and continue to deconstruct the rest of the show. joaquin phoenix is here. we'll be right back. talking to people who made the switch to ford. it felt nicer than my bmw. good gas mileage... ecoboost makes a four cylinder engine feel like a six cylinder.

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beaverton used to work for this loan shark. adrian prusha. >> i know it's a bad man. a baseball bat. sick. >> his dealer also happened to be prussia's steady customer. maybe puck was there on adrian's behalf. what do you think? >> i think you and adrian have a

history you're not sharing with me. [ speaking foreign language ] >> jimmy: that's josh brolin. joaquin phoenix. it's "inherent vice" and opens tomorrow. by the way, we looked it up. you were nominated for five golden globes. inherent vice, her, the master, walk the line, and gladiator. and you won for "walk the line." you really don't care about the awards. >> no, just -- yeah. >> jimmy: i guess you don't have a speech planned then? >> no. >> jimmy: if you do have occasion to give the speech, tell them how little you care about their awards and that you can't even count them. you've had so many and -- it means so little to you. >> no, it -- it's actually --

come on, i owe my career to that, to the awards, really. >> jimmy: i don't think so. >> it makes a huge difference in one's career, absolutely, i think so. >> jimmy: yeah, it does. so i guess unnecessary -- but i can see how you'd be uncomfortable with that. for me, i don't like to win awards at all. luckily, i never do. >> it's weird being singled out for something that's such a collaboration. i think that's what i have a hard time with. there's so many people involved and everybody plays an integral part of creating the character. and what you do. it feels strange to see your name up there alone when you worked with like 60 other people to make it happen. do you know what i mean? >> jimmy: makes you realize you're better than all of those people. [ laughter ] we're talking about your mom. your mom -- do you want to take a nap? >> huh? >> jimmy: would you like to take a little nap? >> does it fold out? >> jimmy: no, it's a regular couch. >> it does.

i have the same couch. it folds out. >> jimmy: fold it out, then. [ cheers and applause ] >> there's a lever back here. oh, wait. i have a different model actually. maybe it's not. oh my goodness. look at that. oh, jimmy. oh you jimmy. what you got? you're going to do it? >> jimmy: there's a hook in here. there we go. all right. that's nice. >> oh my gosh, this is adorable. >> jimmy: pillows and everything. isn't that nice. why don't we end the interview in bed. >> you want to? is that your side? that's your side.

>> jimmy: if you don't mind, is that all right? so again, the movie is called "inherent vice." it opens tomorrow. joaquin phoenix, everybody. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. can we get a little help? we've got pepsi! what if we just take like 15 minutes? halfway through the game? they've got pepsi. (whistle) ♪ so what do we call that? halftime. i like halftime. even the first halftime wasn't halftime without pepsi. because it's not football without halftime and it's not halftime without pepsi.

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. frankie ballard is on the way. first, though, kim jong-un's birthday is today. kim jong-un of course is a major figure on the international stage. i wonder how many of us really know his story. we went on to hollywood boulevard and asked people to tell us what they know about kim jong-un and put it together for tonight's i do hollywood boulevard biography of kim jong-un." >> tell us everything you know about kim jong-un. >> who? >> kim jong-un. >> i know nothing about kim. >> nothing, sorry. >> who? >> kim jong-un? >> kim jong who?

that's all i know. >> kim jong-un? >> yeah, i don't know anything. >> kim jan goon. that's an interesting name. i don't know anything about her. >> do you know anything about him? >> no. is he dead? >> is that the guy in "hangover"? i've seen way too much of kim jong-un's ass that i don't want to see. >> kim jong-un. he is asian and he plays in a movie and he is a karate expert, and he is bad ass! >> oh, i know. i know. kim jong-un. he's from korea. from north korea, yeah. he has an interesting haircut. please don't kill me. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: me either. we'll be right back with larry wilmore. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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uh-huh...that's what i'm afraid of. you don't love the dress? i love my sister. 40 flavors. 100 calories or less. super hungry? get my chipotle chicken club combo with fries and a drink. olivia. that's a ton of food for $4.99. let's do this. ♪ >> jimmy: our next guest is an emmy and peabody award-winning writer, whom you know from "the

daily show," and now, a show of his very own. "the nightly show with larry wilmore" premieres january 19th on comedy central. please welcome larry wilmore. [ cheers and applause ] all right. >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> good. i think i have this couch at my house actually. >> jimmy: who knew so many people shopped at jennifer convertibles. that's amazing. >> i have a dead body in mine. i don't think we should open it. >> jimmy: congratulations on the new job. >> thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome to the glamorous world of hosting. >> i have to tell you this before we start. this happened today. my mom called me up. i hear you're going to be on jimmy kimmel. this is how my mom talks, swear to god. i go, yeah. oh, he must be such a nice man. i go, well, yeah, yeah. he's a good guy. no, he's such a nice man having you on because you're going to be his direct competition.

bizarre. >> jimmy: he's just not very bright. that's all. >> here's what she said. i know, exactly. >> jimmy: i was talking about myself. >> no, no, no, she's absolutely right. she said, i wish this was a way i could thank him. i wanted to thank you for having me on. >> jimmy: i do want to clarify. i think the audience thinks i said your mother was not very bright. i was talking about myself. i'm sure your mother is a brilliant woman. >> did i miss that? did he just say yo mama? >> jimmy: i think "the nightly show" is a great name. i can't believe no one has used it. it's perfect right after "the daily show." >> jon stewart came up to the initial idea of the show and it was called "the minority report." very provocative name. very edgy. it had all that. but then fox picked up a show called "minority report" based on the movie. remember, the movie "minority report." so we started getting letters

from lawyers saying, you can't use "minority report," and cease and desist letters and things like that. so it became this issue where we couldn't use it. this is where i came up with nightly show. i was in the movies going, man, we've got to come up with a name. what is the show at its core? what is it basically. well, okay. it's on every night. it's the nightly show. right? >> jimmy: it makes sense. >> it just made sense. i couldn't believe nobody had used it. >> jimmy: and pressure because colbert report was hugely successful. now you're in that time slot. you get to keep any of his staff? did he leave anyone for you? >> we took over his building, his time slot. i'm living in his house now. taking over his mortgage payments. there's a couple of people on the crew left. he's taking his writing staff with him. it's pretty cool. that magic -- that building has a lot of good mojo in it. they did "the daily show there in the early days and then colbert. i'm happy to be there. >> jimmy: you have all your friends asking for jobs and wanting to work on the show with

you? >> you get some of that. i mostly get strangers on facebook and that kind of thing. >> jimmy: those you don't have to worry about. >> larry, ready to work. i don't know who you are. >> jimmy: your official title on "the daily show" was senior black correspondent. >> senior black correspondent. >> jimmy: how long did you do that? >> i did that about eight years. that was a lot of fun. when i first started that, i was so nervous because colbert had just left. when i tell people how funny stephen is, he breathes in air and exhales funny. that's like who stephen is. so you're following that legacy of him and ed helms and all those guys. i was really nervous. i auditioned on the air pretty much. during the rehearsal, i got like no laughs. you can see the crew trying not to look at you. right? like when you live on a farm you don't want to name the animals because you might have to eat them later, right? that kind of thing, right? just in case. they don't want to get too close to me. this brother may not be there

that long. let's see how it goes what is they were thinking. and afterwards we did a rewrite and jon and i put it in our own words. and right before i went on the air, this is how cool jon is. he put his hand on my arm, larry, just look in the camera and just [ bleep ] to america. i did and relaxed. when i got the first laugh i'm like, i'm a comedian. i know how this goes. it went so great. funny to see the crew afterwards. who is this guy? that's not the guy from rehearsal we thought wasn't going to be here for long. >> jimmy: you only shine when it's primetime. i guess is the thing. >> exactly. >> jimmy: you are from southern california originally. >> lakers fan. >> jimmy: living in new york now. >> i'm going to get that tear tattoo for my lakers. >> jimmy: it's been a tough year for the lakers. it really has. >> it's been really, really tough. i like when clipper fans try to throw that in my face. you know, because -- you know clipper fans who you are because they are doing all good. yeah, we beat your ass.

right? >> jimmy: and they multiply. >> all of a sudden, they exist. i'm not mad at the clippers. i'm not mad at the clippers but i say, you know what, clippers, you may get out of the second round this year. you might. you might do pretty good. >> jimmy: you do magic. >> i do. >> jimmy: would you be kind enough to do a little something for us here? >> i would. >> jimmy: i'd like to see that. >> that's great. one of my hobbies -- i'm glad you asked. actually, i did it on "the daily show" once. and jon stewart's reaction is like i'm doing voodoo. something like that. jon stewart has a black person's reaction. oh [ bleep ]! oh no! like, jon, relax. i'll do something with -- if you can put your hand like that. >> jimmy: left hand? >> this is not really a trick so much as it's a couple of questions. the first two are real simple. the last one is a little tricky. so you have to pay attention. what is the color of this ace? >> jimmy: i kind of saw it. >> what is the color of this ace? >> jimmy: black. >> what is the color of this ace? >> jimmy: black. >> wrong, african-american. i should have given you parameters.

what is the suit of this ace. keep in mind i'm just a little sensitive. >> jimmy: arrowhead. >> yes, exactly. here's the tricky question. this is tricky. which ace should be on top? the ace of spade or ace of clubs? a little tricky. >> jimmy: the club should be on top. >> it should be. you didn't see me switch them? >> jimmy: no, i didn't. >> i switched it for the other ace. now it's the ace of diamonds and the ace of hearts. >> jimmy: i have to say, i had no idea you were such a nerd. >> i'm a complete magic nerd. i was a nerd growing up. science fair. we'll bring some of that nerd to the show. >> jimmy: you can do birthday parties, too. while you're at it. "the nightly show with larry wilmore" on comedy central. best of luck to you, larry, thank you. we'll be right back with frankie ballard. [ cheers and applause ]

>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. ring ring! progresso! it's ok that your soup tastes like my homemade. it's our slow simmered vegetables and tender white meat chicken. apology accepted. i'm watching you soup people. make it progresso or make it yourself. and try progresso chili. slow-simmered, homemade taste.

♪ turn around ♪ every now and then i get a little bit hungry ♪ ♪ and there's nothing really good around ♪ ♪ turn around ♪ every now and then i get a little bit tired ♪ ♪ of living off the taste of the air ♪ ♪ turn around, barry ♪ finally, i have a manly chocolatey snack ♪ ♪ and fiber so my wife won't give me any more flack ♪ ♪ i finally found the right snack ♪ ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world.

>> jimmy: i'd like to thank joaquin phoenix, larry wilmore and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next, but first, this is his cd, "sunshine & whiskey." here with the title track, frankie ballard. ♪ every time you kiss me it's like sunshine and whiskey all right ♪ ♪ hoo ooh, ooh ooh hoo ooh, ooh ooh ♪ ♪ chilling on a beach with my sweet georgia peach not a care in the world just trying to beat the heat ♪ ♪ body like an hourglass sand on her feet i can't help but stare 'cause i got the best seat ♪ ♪ just when i thought it couldn't get any hotter you slid on in said i'm a little hot and bothered ♪ ♪ if you know what i mean let's

crank it up to a hundred degrees you hit me like fire ♪ ♪ shot me like a bullet burned me up and down no way to cool it every time you kiss me ♪ ♪ it's like sunshine and whiskey it's like a bottle of jack straight to the head one shot, two shot ♪ ♪ coppertone red every time you kiss me it's like sunshine and whiskey all right ♪ ♪ ♪ hoo ooh, ooh ooh i was slow driving south with the drop top down her hair in the wind ♪ ♪ tom petty up loud you gave me that look you licked them lips i said, hang on baby ♪ ♪ better pull over for this i don't wanna get a d-w-k driving while kissing they'll put you away you hit me like fire ♪ ♪ shot me like a bullet burned me up and down no way to cool it every time you kiss me ♪ ♪ it's like sunshine and whiskey it's like a bottle of jack straight to the head one shot, two shot ♪ ♪ coppertone red every time you kiss me it's like sunshine and

whiskey every time you kiss me ♪ ♪ it's like sunshine and whiskey every time you kiss me it's like sunshine and whiskey ♪ ♪ ♪ you hit me like fire shot me like a bullet burned me up and down no way to cool it ♪ ♪ every time you kiss me one more time ♪ ♪ it's like sunshine and whiskey you hit me like fire shot me like a bullet burned me up and down ♪ ♪ no way to cool it every time you kiss me it's like sunshine and whiskey it's like a bottle of jack ♪ ♪ straight to the head one shot,

two shot coppertone red every time you kiss me ♪ ♪ it's like sunshine and whiskey ♪ ♪ sing it with me now. ♪ every time you kiss me it's like sunshine and whiskey ♪ ♪ every time you kiss me it's like sunshine and whiskey ♪ ♪ every time you kiss me it's like sunshine and whiskey ♪ ♪ every time you kiss me it's like sunshine and whiskey ♪ all right! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ ♪ one day, i'll slow it way down spend my weekend in the swing out on the wraparound ♪ ♪ oh but these days i'm on a mission to keep these wild oats out of my system ♪ ♪ yeah, i might stay out all night i gotta do a little wrong so i know what's right i wanna sit out ♪ ♪ on the porch tellin' stories 'bout my glory days when i'm pushin' eighty how am i ever gonna ♪ ♪ get to be old and wise if i ain't ever young and crazy ♪ ♪ ♪ i might have to kiss no telling how many lips ♪

♪ before i ever really figure out the love thing ♪ ♪ do some hard things wake up with headaches ♪ this is "nightline." >> first comes blog, then comes marriage. these couples are putting their personal lives on public display online and making a killing doing it. >> you wanted a story we got a story for you. >> what happens when these youtube lovers reveal too much? ♪ i'll be there in a hurry >> whitney. ♪ i'm your baby tonight. >> the legendary diva portrayed in a new movie causing a stir within her family. why it took two women to bring whitney to life onscreen. >> it definitely was a challenge. >> and director angela basset's surprising take on the bad boy on the iconic singer's side. she's all about that babe. we