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tv   2020  ABC  January 16, 2015 10:01pm-11:01pm PST

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tonight on an all-new "20/20," honor thigh mother and father. but they break the mold. and sometimes break the law. mom and dad decide they don't like the president of the pta. >> she yelled, i will get you! >> but will parents really plant drugs in the car and call the cops? >> they are not mine. i swear to you, they are not mine. >> when the truth comes out, mom and dad, both lawyers, are on trial. the parent trap. this husband and wife very much in love. mom and dad devoted to their kids. he used to be a she and she used
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to be a he. boith were born the opposite gender. >> people are wondering, what are you going to tell the two boys one day about who mommy and daddy are. >> i don't want to leave the house. >> are you a little worried when people see you on "20/20" there is going to be reaction to it? >> the transparents. and what if mom and dad are on marijuana? why does the state take their 5-year-old away. >> i can't not be with my son. >> it's happening across the country. >> they're going to take her. >> we're there as one couple fights to put their family back together. high stakes. tonight, meet the parents. here now, david muir and elizabeth vargas. >> good evening. get ready to meet the parents. it's grate when moms and dads are involved in the chird's
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school. we have seen it, parents who might get too involved. tonight, a mom and dad waging a class war fair after class. >> a mom who is late to pick up her 6-year-old trades words with the pta president. and take no prison nor's war that landed them all in court. >> reporter: irvine, california, is the navel of orange county with the appeal of its tree-lined streets and quiet neighborhoods. but things would get a lot more exciting at the local police department around 1:15 p.m. one school-day afternoon, as a call comes in -- a call that sure sounds like the male voice of a fretful parent looking out for the welfare of his child. >> irvine police? >> yes, hi, i was calling because my daughter's a student at plaza vista elementary school. >> uh-huh. >> and i just had to go over to the school and i saw a car driving erratically. i'm concerned one of the parent
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volunteers there may be under the influence or, uh, using drugs. >> reporter: dispatched to the school's parking lot, office charles shaver finds a white pt cruiser that matches the caller's description. >> the caller said that he thought the driver put something behind the driver's seat in the pocket. so i went to the driver's side and looked in the window. >> what were you able to see from the window? >> there was a large bag of marijuana that was protruding out of the seat pocket, behind the driver's seat. it was very clear. >> reporter: officer shaver enters the school to speak to the car's driver -- parent, pta president, and school volunteer kelli peters. >> so i started to panic. i started literally crying, "did something happen to my husband?" and he said, "no." [ crying ] sorry. he said, "no, no, no. your -- no, no. nothing happened to your husband. no, no. that's not why we're here." >> reporter: with families filling the parking lot, the officer explains why he's there as he walks with kelli to her
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car. >> so, when i got to the car, i used the key to unlock it and pulled out the marijuana and, and showed it to her. >> what was her reaction? >> devastated. and she started crying hysterically and dropped down on her knees. i continued to search the car and i also found a bag of percocet and a bag of vicodin. >> and they put it up on top of the police car for everybody to see. which was really hard, because i kept thinking, you know, my daughter's getting out any minute. and i'm just thinking the whole world is looking at this right now. please, i said, "they're not mine. i swear to you they're not mine." >> as soon as kelli is brought inside for questioning, she passes a field sobriety test. for office shaver, something's not adding up. >> at that point, i was starting to form the opinion that, you know, maybe she was telling the truth. maybe there was somebody that was trying to set her up. >> yeah, but everybody says that, right? >> you arrest so many people that have drugs in their pockets and they tell you, "hey, these aren't my pants." >> they wanted to know, you know was there anybody that i knew that would do this to me? and i said, "yes, yes.
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oh my god." >> she said, "jill easter." >> bingo. one year earlier, attorney and mother jill easter arrived at the plaza vista school late, kelli says, to pick up her 6-year-old son from after-school activities -- tennis lessons -- which kelli helped supervise. but the first grader wasn't in his usual pick up location. jill easter was plenty upset, and blamed kelli. >> and i said, "well, i am so sorry." i said, "he didn't line up fast enough. maybe he just walked slow." >> reporter: for jill easter and later, her husband, kent -- who's an attorney as well -- that word "slow" would activate a kind of bad-parenting nuclear bomb that would exact a spectacular toll. >> i believe mrs. peters said, you know, "you're being slow," like falling behind in line. and i think the easters took it as their son was being mentally slow. >> reporter: jill easter's words to kelli grew increasingly heated. >> and i said, "i'm done. this is crazy."
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and that made her very angry. she lost her mind over it. i turned my back, and she yelled, "i will get you!" [ laughs ] >> reporter: using their legal acumen, these two lawyers launched a vitriolic campaign against kelli peters. their letter to the school principal was also handed out to parents in the parking lot -- it accused kelli of purposely leaving their son unsupervised, blamed her for his anxiety attacks, and demanded that she be fired from her unpaid position. >> they attempted to have me removed from the school, removed from any irvine school. banished. completely banished. >> reporter: after the school investigation backed kelli 100%, jill easter stepped up her anti-kelli animus in court. >> what else did she and her husband do? >> filed lawsuits against me. a restraining order. she told the judge that i tried to kill her and that i was
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stalking her. i mean they just went on to torture me for a really long time. >> reporter: which, one year later, brings us back to that day in the school parking lot -- the day kelli is questioned by police. that night, a sweep of her home shows zero evidence of the drugs found in her car. the investigation takes a new turn. like, remember that call to the irvine pd? the cops are able to trace the call to the business center at newport beach hotel, not exactly the place to spot erratic driving in irvine, but whatev. and it gets better -- turns out there's security camera video of a man walking through the lobby. guess who? it's kent easter! >> so when the police were able to determine that the defendant's law firm was right next door, the pieces started to come together for them. >> reporter: kelli's civil attorney, rob marcereau, also notes the class warfare on display. >> they are both highly educated attorneys.
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went to top schools. they should know better. they believe they're above the law. that they can do anything to anyone. >> reporter: tests show that the easters' dna is on the marijuana pipe found in kelli's car. and cell phone tower "pings" seem to indicate their phones were near kelli's home the night before the drugs were found. so kent and jill easter are charged with tricking police into falsely apprehending kelli. and that's when things really get weird as in parents-gone-wild weird. >> a case of an irvine lawyer -- >> and a pta volunteer. >> good afternoon. >> good afternoon. >> reporter: um, not so fast. before going to trial, jill cops a plea. >> jill easter wanted to plead guilty, and was willing to plead guilty. >> reporter: jill gets 120 days. but kent decides to fight the charges. the d.a. goes to the video and to the audio of that call to police that started it all. >> i'm concerned one of the
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parent volunteers there may be under the influence. >> reporter: which, if you listen on, features this southern-californian lawyer's sudden swerve into a foreign accent as he uses an indian name for an alias. >> vijay. >> vijay. and what's your last name? >> chandrasekhar. >> and do you know this person's name? >> i think her name is kelli. >> reporter: kent's attorney tries to paint his client as jill's hapless stooge. >> an overly trusting husband trying to appease a difficult wife. >> reporter: entered into evidence -- this e-mail from jill to kent, a sort of honey-do list from hell. she has some legal assignments for kent, and she wants 'em done in 24 hours -- exhaust the criminal code against kelli, and file suits against the school district, the school and whomever else we possibly can tomorrow. kent's lawyer has another goodie for the jury to help establish kent as clueless and jill as the master manipulator. >> she wasn't tied in with her husband. she was having an outrageously
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over the top affair. >> reporter: yes, jill has been having a five-alarm affair with a fireman, right under kent's nose. his attorney scrolls through texts from jill's lover. poetry, like, "i wanna squeeze your booty" and "will you be my sex slave?" >> on jill easter's phone were some of the most graphic sexting messages that i've ever seen. but, to me, it had no relevance to the trial. >> reporter: yet despite the defense airing all her dirty laundry, near the trial's end there stands jill herself -- dressed to kill -- to take the witness stand in her husband's defense. but wait a second, there's a last-minute problem. jill is complaining that she's now deaf. as in, can't hear the judge. as in, it's gonna be real hard to testify. the jury needs less than an afternoon -- guilty. kent easter is sentenced to
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180 days in jail. kind-hearted kelli is left to wonder just how she wound up as a most unlikely bee in the easters' bonnet. >> i asked myself, what did i do wrong? what did i do to deserve this? >> is there an answer to that question? >> i've never intentionally ever hurt anybody, or anything. there's just no reason that someone should do this to another person, ever. >> next, they smoke pot. they sell it and grow it. perfectly legal in their state. >> and our kids are super safe and super healthy. >> why has the state taken their 5-year-old away? when meet the parents continues. i don't want to think about the alternative. i don't even know how to answer that. i mean, no one knows how long their money is going to last. i try not to worry, but you worry. what happens when your paychecks stop? because everyone has retirement questions.
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welcome back tonight, middle marijuana about to be legal in 23 states now. recreational use is legal in colorado and washington. here is the question, what if there are kids in the house? it's a debate across the country, if mom and dad are smoking pot, even legally, can the state take their children away? nick watt with parents fighting to keep their child. whose side will you be on? >> reporter: like so many
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millions of americans, perhaps even you, dear friday night network tv viewer, jesse and vicca thompson of bellingham, washington, enjoy a good hit of marijuana. when i walked into your house, the first smell is marijuana. >> yeah. >> reporter: jesse, a cancer survivor, takes it for pain. vicca for arthritis and a nervous condition. doctor prescribed. totally legal up here in the evergreen state. even recreational use is now okay. do you use it every day? >> pretty much every day, yeah. >> reporter: and the thompsons aren't just blazing away for their own purposes. two years ago at their little business called "the grow shop," they began selling their own homegrown strains. >> this one is grape ape. it's another strain that's new to us. >> reporter: as well as those trendy edibles, marijuana-laced gummy treats, chocolate bars. >> i found cannabis, and it saved my life. >> reporter: the kind herbs grow right there by the front door.
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and cannabis isn't the only thing growing in the thompson house. there's also their 5-year-old jerry and 13-year-old sahani, vicca's son from a previous marriage. sahani's father asked us to obscure his face. >> what are you making? >> it's a snow angel. >> reporter: and here's where it gets complicated. see, for most of you parents out there, keeping your kids away from pot is, well, pretty high on the list of parental priorities. and parenting while high? probably a no-no, too. but the thompson's don't just say no, they're too busy saying yeah. not all medical marijuana gets you high. but a lot of it does. psycho-active, as they say. and are you still capable of being a responsible parent? >> oh, yeah. >> reporter: when you're a little bit high. >> oh, yeah. >> reporter: really? >> both: yeah. >> reporter: how? >> it's just being normal. >> reporter: but you're high. >> it just means i have an elevated mood.
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it doesn't mean i'm incapacitated or that i can't think straight. i'm on pot right now, and i'm able to parent. >> reporter: listen, plenty people parent after a couple of beers. and that's not prescribed by a doctor. but there is an apparent gap between the enforcement of child protection laws and marijuana statues. and that gap has lead to gut-wrenching scenes around the country, like this one in michigan. [ crying ] >> signed by a judge to take your child. >> reporter: in many, multiplying cases, child protective services are taking kids away, at least temporarily, from legal, legit users of medical marijuana. watch this, shot in california. >> i want you to understand that your baby doesn't need to be subjected to marijuana. >> and what makes you think he is? >> because your house really
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smells bad of marijuana. >> reporter: that mother in this cnn video has a license. she's broken no law. but her child is taken. attorney jennifer ani was able to get the child returned home. okay, so this is really happening? >> correct. >> reporter: common? >> very. >> reporter: the thompsons never imagined running afoul of the law since medical marijuana has been legal in washington for well over a decade. but in november, they say a workplace dispute at the grow shop blossomed into a big-time buzzkill. >> we had an employee, michelle. we let her go. about a month later, she decided to retaliate by calling cps. >> reporter: and what did she tell them? >> she told them that we not only are feeding our children marijuana all the time but that they have access to it in our home and in our business. >> reporter: is that true? >> no, that is not true, not at all. >> reporter: now, giving pot to minors without a licensed physician's approval is verboten, so authorities have
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reason to ask questions. within days of that call they interview sahani at school. the cps spoke to your other son, who claimed that you fed him a goo ball? >> a goo ball. >> reporter: which is what? >> oh, just a medicated, like, peanut butter raisin ball. >> reporter: medicated, just to be clear, with psycho-active marijuana. that gets you high. and did you? >> yes, i did. >> reporter: without a doctor's approval. >> he gets aggressive and is too mean sometimes. >> reporter: okay. >> and just needs to, like, yeah, i don't know. like, look inside and relax and, yeah. >> reporter: after that, the city quickly shuts down the grow shop. >> i came to work one day, cps and police show up with a stop work order, saying that my gardening store is unfit to occupy, unsafe, and i'm not allowed to do business.
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>> reporter: losing the business is one thing. the thompsons are also in danger of losing little jerry. now it's battlestations. cps requests a meeting. social workers want to address the accusations face-to-face with the family, but the thompsons are suspicious. they bring along a posse -- friends, family and several pro-pot activists from the region. >> no mother, no true mother, would steal someone else's child. >> reporter: they're carrying signs. they're carrying cameras. it's on video when social workers emerge from the building and jesse tells them he doesn't want to have the meeting unless every word is recorded. >> do you want to come into the meeting and talk with us? >> if we can record. >> you can't record. >> then we will wait for an attorney. >> is your attorney coming? >> not today. >> okay, we can reschedule. >> reporter: the upshot of that encounter -- >> thank you all for coming out. >> reporter: -- disaster. they had a meeting without you? >> yeah. >> reporter: and decided what? >> they decided to take jerry at that point.
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>> reporter: now, the thompsons are terrified that something like this was about to go down. >> whoa, you're pointing guns at me? are you kidding me? >> reporter: raleigh, north carolina, just last year. >> do not point guns. there's a child in this house. >> reporter: cps comes to the home with a s.w.a.t. team to remove a little girl. >> the order says right here the mother can be with the daughter. >> reporter: she is deemed to be in danger, in part because the dad is a recreational pot smoker. to avoid any traumatic confrontations the thompsons choose to deliver jerry to cps themselves. this time they left the cameras at home. what is the feeling? how do you deal with it? >> i felt like my heart might stop. like, tightness in my chest and i couldn't breathe. and just like the world was ending, and i couldn't think straight. just the worst possible moment of my life, ever. >> reporter: as vicca's other son, sahani, is sent to live with his father full time, the
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thompsons continue to document their ordeal. a moment of anguish in the bathroom. >> jerry deserves better than this. cps is wrong. they've overstepped. >> reporter: and in jerry's now-empty bedroom. >> just about the worst thing that can happen. our kids are super-safe and super-healthy. what the law says isn't necessarily right. >> reporter: what happens next, well, that's going to be determined in this courtroom. >> they say i'm an unfit mom because i smoke weed. they made up a bunch of garbage about things they don't know. >> reporter: who's right? what does the law say? and where is jerry sleeping tonight? >> there's the house where jerry is. i can't not be with my son. >> reporter: the judge's verdict, when we come back. ] ch!
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"20/20" meet the parents continues. once again, nick watt. >> there's the house where jerry is. >> reporter: this is the house where jesse thompson's 5-year-old son, jerry, lives now. jesse can drive by, but the law says he can't go inside. he's not allowed to see jerry. >> it's destroying me. i can't not be with my son. he is all that matters. >> reporter: jesse and his wife, vicca, have lost jerry because authorities claim they were feeding him marijuana edibles. is that true? >> no, that is not true. not at all. >> reporter: never? >> never fed jerry marijuana. we don't want to feed him marijuana. >> reporter: but they admit feeding it to his older half-brother sahani to relax him. that's okay? >> i felt like it was okay, yeah. >> reporter: do you now feel like it's okay? >> no, i definitely don't feel like it was okay. even though it helped him medically, i wouldn't do it again. >> reporter: remember, marijuana is legal in washington. the thompson's grow it, use it. vicca even cooks up a skin-care
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salve with it. she swears by it. but giving it to minors without the proper medical permission? that's a no-no. so now the thompsons spend their days fighting in court to get their jerry back, with the support of the cannabis community. here they are sharing videos of the little boy lost. >> he's so incredibly well-adjusted and smart. >> reporter: the court is waiting for results of a drug test on little jerry. the whole case could hinge on this. >> i can just tell you mr. olsen, i expect those results to be here. >> reporter: in the meantime -- as the weeks drag on -- >> is your visit at 11:00? wonderful, have a seat. >> reporter: -- the thompsons can only see jerry here, the local cps office. today they've come with his little guitar and other toys. >> this is his floaty toy for his bath, things to help him feel at home. >> reporter: they wear
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microphones for the start of this precious visit. >> we're so happy to see you. >> missed you, too. >> reporter: that's jerry doing his best jerry garcia. and about 90 minutes later, jerry is crying and screaming. he wants to come home with his family. >> two weeks before christmas the thompsons prepare for a fateful hearing. they want to look their best. because the moment of truth has arrived, the drug test results are back, the proof the thompsons expect will clear them once and for all. >> i feel strong, confident. >> a hair-follicle test on jerry. >> reporter: so imagine the shock when instead, they hear this. >> jerry was positive for cannabinoids and thc by ingesting and by environmental exposure. >> reporter: positive. 5-year-old jerry tests positive for marijuana.
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remember that salve vicca was making? that's how she now explains the results. but the test came back positive, right? i mean, how do you explain that? >> it was a really low level. it could come from me having salve on my hand and touching him. >> reporter: really? >> uh-huh. >> reporter: you have used it on him? >> yeah. >> reporter: she's been smoking, say experts. no way could a salve lead to a positive test result. they say little jerry must have eaten, been fed, marijuana. >> i've never had a case where a parent who is a qualified patient uses their medicine and gives it to their child. that's really bad judgment. >> reporter: but then, it's agonizing. they run out of time. court adjourned, to resume after the holidays. >> pretty destroyed over that. worst i ever felt. christmas, i'm not going to even bring myself to decorate without my kid around. >> reporter: finally, after weeks of stilted, supervised
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visitations, it's judgement day as their supporters chant outside. >> no one should go to jail for >> reporter: the thompsons head in to court. >> effectively, mr. and mrs. thompson have criminally endangered jerry's health and well-being with myopic fascination with marijuana that seems so unhinged that they think there is nothing wrong with exposing 5-year-old jerry to it, even to the point of his intoxication. >> reporter: here comes his ruling, and it starts very badly. >> you made the mind-boggling decision to give marijuana to a 5-year-old. >> we didn't. >> don't talk. listen. i've listened, and now it's your turn. >> reporter: but just as all seems lost -- >> there is no evidence that the child, other than the giving of the marijuana, has been injured, neglected or in any other way harmed.
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because there is no other evidence of neglect or abuse we will do an in-home placement. [ applause ] >> stop. stop. >> the law says there has to be serious physical harm. children can't be removed because of bad judgment. if they could lots of people wouldn't have kids because we all make mistakes. >> reporter: the court issues this stern warning. >> there will be no exposure to marijuana smoke, edibles, oil in any form. if this child tests positive, it's very simple. you will not have the child living with you. >> reporter: and the family is reunited. >> dude! >> reporter: jerry came home just last week. he'd missed christmas with mom and dad. so they finally put some christmas lights up at the beginning of january.
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and he went to sleep in his own bed? >> he did, yeah. >> yeah. so did his mom. >> he asked me to lay down with him. yeah, which i really, really wanted to. and i snuggled him, and he fell right asleep, and it was great. i kept looking at him in there all night long. so happy. >> reporter: but what about those plants still growing at home? so you're going to do things differently now? >> absolutely, yeah. we're going to hide the marijuana, yeah. and i definitely feel like i shouldn't give it to children. >> reporter: because, well, only because it's illegal. >> but if a doctor was telling me that it was okay, then i would think, "yeah, it's totally safe," especially to put salve on a cut or a rash. >> reporter: so if you were given medical advice, that you should give your child marijuana -- >> -- very safe about that, yeah. >> reporter: would you?
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>> does smoking pot mean you can't do a good job as a parent. use the hashtag abc2020. >> and a secret revealed to the entire nation. next, lieding a life they never imagined. >> every child would love to hear the story how they were born. and they have a big twist to their story. >> mom used to be a man and dad used to be a woman. they are transparents when meet the parents continues.
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okay, a little easier. become a member of kaiser permanente. because together, we thrive. ♪ >>. >> when you're a child, your mom and dad are your entire universe and ta universe is expanding. and two little boys in kentucky are part of the expanding world. their transgendered parents have endured the most. a mom and dad who haven't told their neighbors they were not born this way. haven't until tonight.
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>> reporter: on the surface the bowsers may look like an ordinary family there's mom, bianca, age 32. dad, nick, he's 27. and their two rambunctous toddlers, kai, age three, and pax, 17 months. but in their wildest dreams these two parents never imagined they would get to enjoy this kind of ordinary. because behind her long black hair and feminine figure, bianca was born a boy named jason. and despite his cropped hair and whisper of a moustache, nick was a born a girl, named nicole. >> we fit, you know, the basic definition of what a transgender person is. our children do not see us as transgender people, we are mommy and daddy. >> reporter: a mommy and daddy with a twist. both were born in georgia and have followed remarkably mirrored paths.
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how old were each of you when you first realized "something's not right. i don't think this is matching up." >> i guess i was about 5 years old. i remember sneaking into mom's closet when she was off at work and, and putting on a pair of heels. but i've always felt more liberated, uh, during those moments. >> what about you, nick? >> i always thought i want to be a boy. i, you know, i looked at boys, i saw, you know, guys with their shirts off and i was like "that's what i want to look like." >> reporter: as teenagers feeling trapped in their bodies they faced cruel taunts. >> name calling and being picked on and bullying. >> what kinds of names? >> queer, fag, um, the, the general -- >> the cruel things. >> my mannerisms were more effeminate and i just did not fit the mold. >> reporter: nick said he didn't have it any easier. he left home at 17. was your family supportive? >> no, they were not. no. >> wow, so both of you experienced a lot of rejection. around trying to figure out who
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you were as people. >> right. >> i don't think anybody can understand what it's like to be us. >> unless you're transgender, you -- >> unless you're transgender. no. 20 is when i came to terms with being transgender starting to live my life as a woman, applying the makeup, wearing women's clothing. >> and is that when you first truly feel like you found happiness? >> that is where a heavyweight on my shoulders was lifted, yes. >> but even after struggling so long to find their true identities they still never believed they'd find anyone else. >> did you ever feel like that, like no one's ever gonna ever want to be with me because of who i am? >> yes. >> reporter: so neither of you ever expected to find a soul mate, a life mate? >> no. >> no, not at all. >> reporter: each was taking hormones and considering expensive surgeries to transform their bodies into genders they so deeply believed they were born to be. >> i had planned on the gender reassignment surgery. and i was starting to save up my money for it, i had already made
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my plans and then i met nick. >> reporter: bianca, a performer at a local club, was getting for her act. and one night mick walked in. >> he caught my eye, and our bartender friend, um, i asked her if she knew who he was, and she said yeah. and i said, well, just let him know i think he's cute. >> and bianca walked up to me and said who she was how quickly did you, the two of you fall in love? >> it was pretty instant for me. >> reporter: they dated for a year. and marriage, a small ceremony in georgia. the first dance and a first step to a life together, one in which their most intimate moments require literally reverting to the sexual identities with which they were born with but rejected. >> people want to know how we have sex. i'm like, "well, how do you have sex?" >> same way you have sex. >> same way. >> right. >> um, it works all the same way. >> and you're, in essence, when you are having sex, you're having sex with a man, right?
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>> i don't view bianca as a man. regardless of what she might have. for me in my head that, that's not what i see, it's not how i feel. >> reporter: they began to consider what every married couple does, having kids. putting aside any plans for gender surgery, they decided to spend the money on a raising a family. so nick, who had spent seven years becoming a man, agreed to undergo another physical transformation, becoming a mother. >> it was an absolute horrible experience. >> really? >> the almost 20 months total of my life was probably the darkest time in my entire life, my brain was telling me that i was one person, my body looks like a completely different person, it was a daily struggle between mind and body. >> you were afraid to walk outside because people would outside because people would see a pregnant man? >> i didn't want to leave the house.
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>> reporter: nick dplifred delivered both boys by cesarean section. they moved to this quiet neighborhood in louisville, kentucky. and as we followed this modern family to the toy store and the aquarium we wondered what happens when these lively toddlers grow older and start asking questions. what are you gonna tell these two beautiful boys one day about who mommy and daddy are? >> i don't, i don't know when, you know, when or how. >> gradually and in ways that they can understand. i mean eventually the questions will come about. schools calling us and saying "your child said that his mommy has a penis" and things like that. >> better have an answer ready for that one! every child loves to hear the story of how they were born. and kai and pax have a big twist to their story. >> they do. >> they came out of daddy's body. >> right. >> we're telling them the truth, and i think that's the most important thing, and in a way that they can understand. >> reporter: nick and bianca
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have a lot of faith and hope that their children will understand and that their neighbors and school friends will see this family and them as human beings, nothing more and nothing less. >> i would like to think that society as a whole, by the time, you know, kai is in third and fourth grade, will have changed. i mean it's changed from 15 years ago. so why shouldn't it change in the next three to four years? >> how many people here know that you, while you look like a man and a woman, underneath right now, you are still a man and a woman. >> currently, the people that we work with, after this airs i don't know. >> i was gonna say. with the caveat this is about to be on national television. i mean are you a little worried that when people see you on "20/20" that, um, there's gonna be a reaction to this? >> no. not concerned. people will always have
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opinions. >> basically what you want america to know is that you are -- >> no different than anybody else. >> well we're different, but we're the same type of family everybody else is. next, the suburban home and the teenage party. mom and dad are there and so is the alcohol. >> are mom and dad to blame? >> the first thing that i remember is a policeman saying my dad is going to jail. >> well meet the parents continues. ♪you better pledge your allegiance♪ ♪you're not the only one ♪listen up forefathers ♪let them have some fun
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it's probably happening tonight, a teenage party in the house when the parents are out of town. we have seen the pictures before. the house is overflowing and so is the booze. and then the cops arrive.
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>> that usually leads to a day of rerkenning with mom and dad. but what if mom and dad are home at the time. they are seeing time in court. >> reporter: it could have been a scene from this "playboy" bash at hef's mansion this past fall. the host's invitation even suggesting a dress code. "guys -- robes, chippendales dancers, hugh hefner-styled clothing." "ladies -- playboy bunny costumes, bunny tails, tutus, leotards, anything that's in your comfort zone." but authorities say they were not comfortable with what was going on at this house on camino del valle in poway, california, especially since the birthday girl, olivia lake, was just 18 years old. >> to have a party like this is like handing out hand grenades as party favors. >> reporter: our affiliate found these photos on instagram, that are now marked private. that's olivia, the toast of the party with a pipe in her mouth. police say when they arrived at the lake's home friday night, 200 partygoers, most of them
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underage, were inside the house. and so was olivia's dad, attorney jeff lake, who posed for this picture with his daughter. >> once they determined that there was a sizeable amount of underage drinking going on inside the house they took mr. lake into custody. >> reporter: that's right, dad, not daughter, was hauled away, police say for violating the city's social host ordinance. >> no comment about the party at your house this weekend? >> no. >> reporter: but in a written statement, lake tells "20/20" his intentions were to "provide my daughter a fun and safe 18th birthday in the privacy of our own home," and it was to be "drug-free and alcohol-free." lake says his daughter's rules were clear. "my parents will be home, so please behave yourselves." and she clearly told her guests "it's a 'clean' party" and to "keep the party safe." olivia's father says "uninvited troublemakers on a public street" resulted in exactly the opposite. and he's not the only parent to
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go through this experience. barry and paula spencer's 18-year-old son nick's party started out as a day of celebration. what were the ground rules? >> nothing illegal. >> reporter: those would prove to be famous last words. >> we started having people show up who i didn't recognize and kind of got a little out of control. >> reporter: a rager, that within hours ballooned to around 100 rowdy kids openly drinking in the backyard when police descend to break it up. >> it was mayhem. >> the first thing that i remember was a policeman saying that my dad was going to jail. >> reporter: the spencers claim they were actually confiscating any alcohol they found. district attorney stephanie anderson believes the spencers were just another set of passive parents turning a blind eye to tipsy teens. >> there was no real attempt to prevent underage drinking at that home. >> reporter: she points to the
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police report from that night which describes a scene fit for a frat house, complete with a teenager passed out on a neighbor's lawn. they describe the scene at your house that night as, "an animal house." >> that's just not true. >> reporter: but anderson didn't buy their story and she went after the spencers, charging them with allowing minors to consume alcohol in their home, a crime that now had them facing jail time. what's more dangerous? having my kids down in the basement where i know they're going to drink a few beers or having them go out to the softball field at night and drink where there's nobody to keep an eye on anything? >> in this scenario there's no difference at all. there wasn't anyone there to keep an eye on anything. >> reporter: but anderson had a hard time convincing a jury of that. when it did go to trial, it was split down the middle. >> yes. >> reporter: six to six. >> yeah. >> reporter: did that surprise you? >> no, not terribly. it's a very divisive issue. >> reporter: rather than retry the spencers, anderson offered them a deal. no jail time, but they would have to pay $17,000 in fines and
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restitution, write a letter of apology in the local paper and serve 100 hours of community service, each which they have now completed. >> we did not intend for kids to drink. >> reporter: are you ever going to host another party? who cares how tight it can if turn, if it can't turn heads? who cares how capable it is, if it's incapable of creating a reaction? any suv can move something. but can it move you? introducing the first-ever lexus nx turbo and hybrid.
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taxes and fees included. cricket. something to smile about. i gotta take a sick dayrrupt. tomorrow. dads don't take sick days. dads take nyquil. the nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, fever, best-sleep-with-a-cold medicine. walgreens knows you don't have time to play around with cold and flu symptoms. that's why walgreens makes it easy to find relief fast, with solutions like nyquil. at the corner of happy and healthy. >> thampblt ice our program for tonight. so glad you were with us. >> we hope you have a wonderful weekend and from all of us here at "20/20" and abc news, have a good evening. good night.
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developing news today where police opened fire and killed a man. >> next, new information on what happened in the moments

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