>> all right that's our report. we appreciate your time. >> for all of us here thanks for joins. right now jimmy kimmel tv >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- kelly ripa. from "scandal," joshua malina. "this week in unnecessary censorship." and music from gorgon city featuring jennifer hudson. with cleto and the cletones. and now, i won't argue, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> jimmy: very nice. my name is jim, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks to all you guys for coming. i'm appreciative. hey, i just want you to know, advance warning, if i pass out tonight it's because i'm starving myself to fit into my gown on sunday. the oscars are on sunday. we have a special show after the oscar show i think will be worth staying up late to watch, our 10th annual "after the oscars" special, john travolta will be here, you would see people you would never expect to see on a comedy show. we have a great lineup this year. if you don't think you can stay up that late, make sure to set your dvr. you'll want to watch the whoeg thing all the way through. if you want to set your dvr right now, i will stay still so

you can hit pause and do it. you ready? hit the pause button. okay, are we back? all right. it would be great if you'd do that with your family? pause your mother while you check instagram. gallup today, the polling company, released this annual well-being index where they raik the health and happiness of residents of each of the 50 states. and for the first time ever alaska finished first. alaska finished first and hawaii was number two. which i think it's interesting that the top two happiest states are the ones that are farthest away from the rest of us. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] now, our state finished 12th, that's not bad, that means we're number 1 and 2, right? 12. in the bottom two spots at 49 and 50, kentucky and west virginia. although that decision is now

under protest by an irate kanye west virginia. [ laughter ] [ drumroll ] kentucky and west virginia have finished at the bottom of this list six years in a row. yeah, of course they have. maybe they would cheer up if people stopped calling them the two worst states in the country. meanwhile in florida, which ranked 26th, high-profile arrest of one robert van winkle, aka vanilla ice. vanilla was arrested yesterday in florida for his alleged involvement in a residential burglary. police say he stole furniture, a pool heater, bicycles, and other stuff from a home in the neighborhood where he's renovating a house. he says it's a misunderstanding related to his show. he hosts a home renovation show called "the vanilla ice project" which is vip. last night he was released from jail, posting $6,000 bond. of course you hate to see something like this happen. but the good news is it allowed

our united nations's news anchors a chance to spread their creative wings. >> stop, collaborate, and listen. ice is back with a brand-new invention he stole from a neighbor. >> all right, collaborate and listen. ice is back with a brand 95 new friction. >> stop, collaborate and listen. ice is back with a brand-new conviction. >> all right, stop, collaborate, and listen. ice is back in jail and hissing. >> stop, collaborate, and listen. vanilla ice is getting not so hot attention. >> stop, collaborate and listen. i do that because he bonded out of prison. >> stop, collaborate and listen. ice is back and he's in some legal trouble. >> that last guy wasn't even trying. i'm glad they're having fun with it. it's very cold right now in the northeast, the southeast, the midwest, and parts of kentucky it's the coldest since 1895. kelly ripa got in from new york this afternoon, she's still thawing out.

she's little a kelly ripcicle. people are still managing to have fun and this is good. pets, dogs and cats don't mind when it's cold, they still go out, no jackets, no mittens, nothing. this cat, play this video. you can see there's a cat braving the elements. i don't know if this is a trained cat or maybe this is some kind of supercat. the owner has a bowl of food to lure the cat back inside. she shakes it. you see here the cat explodes through the snow. like the hey kool-aid guy. [ cheers and applause ] this is from our abc affiliate raleigh-durham, north carolina, a live report on the news about a girl who was rescued, fell into a frozen pond. she's perfectly fine. but it was scary as you will

hearn from this eyewitness account. >> they rescued her, but sketchy. hearing noises and not knowing what's going on. came around, they got her out, she seemed to be okay. >> she seemed to be okay in part of her body? maybe her leg was slightly in the water? >> her leg was slightly in the water. when they were dipping in, it was rough out there. i don't know her for one thing -- what are we talking about again? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's the very definition of brain freeze. did they have legal marijuana in north carolina? as you may have read in some of the nature magazines we have here at our show teaming up with our pal snoop dogg to teach young people about wildlife. snoop hosts a show of his own on youtube called ggn. he also cares very deeply about the earth. so join us now as snoop takes you on a frozen journey to the

subantarctic in tonight's winter edition of "plizzanet earth." >> hey, what up? it's your nature guy snoop. roll the tape. oh, wow. what is he doing? oh, no! this he really is doing a penguin, cuz! he cold blooded. he doing a cosby on it, cuz. putting in the putting. you've got to look at this [ bleep ]. bring that one back for me, cuz. hey, cuz, look. hey, man, get off me! man, get off me, man! oh, my. >> was that a walrus? >> he was walling whatever he was. that's cold blooded. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: thank you, snoop. warm blooded but i understand. here in california we're in the middle of a drought. state officials are considering new rules now for restaurants to help conserve water. one of the rules would be if you're at a restaurant, you want water, you have to ask for it, they won't just bring it to your table. they're also asking restaurants to take down all those mandatory hand washing signs for employees. that is a waste of water. it's a shame. because you know, with all the crying on "the bachelor" this season i assumed the drought was over. but these are desperate times. they're saying southern california could be completely unlivable in 80 years because we won't have any water left. so to encourage conservation, the state is launching a new awareness campaign that is specifically targeted at young people here in california. >> attention, marijuana enthusiasts. california is facing an unprecedented drought that affects us all. do your part by following five

simple steps. step one, find your bong. step one, find your bong. there you go. step two. pour the bong water into a number 10 envelope. step three. seal the envelope. make sure there are no leaks. then put it in your pocket so you done forget about it. you're cog great. step four. go out and get a slice of pizza. step five. spend three hours watching videos of goats that scream like people. [ screaming ] you'll be glad you did. together, we can make a difference. >> brought to you by the california department of whaaat? >> jimmy: there's just -- i feel like that was a fake. here in california, right now in long beach, just south of us in l.a., the u.s. coffee championships are going on.

you will never see a more excited group of fans than the u.s. coffee championship. i don't know where they get their energy, i really don't. the top baristas in the country have gathered competing to see who makes the best cappuccino in the united states and also to try to spell "jennifer" on the side of a cup. so -- good luck. the biggest news of the day, this comes to us from north korea. i want you to remember where you were when you learned this. because kim jong-un, the north korean dictator, has, are you ready? a new haircut. and that is it. whoever did that to him is definitely dead, right? he looks like an upside down amish person. and where are his eyebrows? are those eyebrows or hyphens? kim jong-un unveiled the new

look at a meeting yesterday. this guy's now had the two worst haircuts in the history of the world. that's what happens when no one around you dares to tell you how you look. you know, i mentioned it earlier. sunday night on abc the 87th annual academy awards. it is by far the most glamorous parking nightmare of the year here in hollywood. i'm excited for the show. i have to admit i'm more excited for the inspirational jcpenney commercials. this week is especially busy for us because the oscars take place across the street at the theater part of the hollywood and highland center which happens to be a shopping mall. the oscars are held at the mall. little-known fact. true, what they do during oscar week is they don't want it to look like a mall so they cover up all the signs. those are the signs of the stores. california pizza kitchen and whatnot. they wrap them with white plastic. as if they're invisible. which has to be a bummer. i guess it does take away some of the glamor when you realize the stars are gathered right

next door to cabo wabo cantina. anyway, in anticipation of sunday's show we decided to have some fun with two of this year's nominated films. we took the audio from a movie in theaters now, best picture nominee "the imitation game" and paired it with "how to train your dragon 2." the result is a film experience all ages can enjoy. ♪ >> i don't fancy being with her in that way. >> because you're a homosexual. >> should -- should i tell her? that i've had affairs with men? >> you know, in my admittedly limited experience, women tend to be a bit touchy about accidentally marrying homosexuals. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's why they call them bloops.

love is the greatest. it's thursday night which means it's time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." [ cheers and applause ] >> starting today, i want to [ bleep ] three [ bleep ]. >> win oscars [ bleep ], [ bleep ] are you still angry? >> you should [ bleep ] somebody else. >> i want to [ bleep ]. >> anybody that's a sporting dog knows every once in a while you'll turn your head and suddenly there's a [ bleep ] right in your [ bleep ]. >> also understand that the [ bleep ] is going to come. why? because i'm going to [ bleep ] on this [ bleep ] until it comes. >> if you're east of the mississippi, it is [ bleep ] cold out there. >> residents are demanding answers about the black, sticky water coming out of their [ bleep ]. >> i don't mind that his [ bleep ] is a little hanging to the right, what do you think? >> no, it's fine. it's such a smooth [ bleep ]. [ bleep ], i like it. >> for the record, one more time, i [ bleep ] my brother.

actually [ bleep ] my mother as well. >> you can see where the pink [ bleep ] is here. >> sometimes i look at the stud studio, [ bleep ] without changing clothes. >> i would have that [ bleep ] in my mouth the next morning. >> so many pictures and tweets today, thank you for sharing your beautiful [ bleep ]. >> oh! time for me to [ bleep ] you! >> why is this a camera? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a good show tonight. music from gordon city with jennifer hudson. from "scandal" joshua malina is here. and we'll be right back with kelly ripa. stick around! [ cheers and applause ] take a deeeeep breath in... and... exhale... aflac! and a gentle wavelike motion...

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hello, again. tonight, from "scandal" which you saw earlier tonight on abc, joshua malina is here. later, their debut album is "sirens." gordon city with jennifer hudson tonight on the at&t stage. on sunday night, i will be donning my finest rental tuxedo

for our biggest show of the year, the 10th annual ""jimmy kimmel live" after the oscars." john travolta will be our guest, he's never been here before, that's very exciting. we do something very big every year. this year sean penn, benedict cumberbatch, jennifer aniston, neil patrick harris, eddie redmayne -- if i named all the names we would not be able to get this show finished. please watch the exclusive sneak preview what was we have in store on our facebook page pier if you go there you'll see a glimpse. join us sunday night after the oscars and after your late local news and after everything else after that. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest tonight, a little glass of sunshine every morning on "live with kelly and michael." she's here in l.a. her special after oscars show monday morning when all the stars are still intoxicated from the night before, please say hello to kelly ripa! [ cheers and applause ]

>> thank you, wow. >> jimmy: they're delighted you're here. >> i'm delighted to be here. >> jimmy: you were in new york this morning. >> it's so nice to be out of that. i feel bad for everybody in new york. it's like 11-teen below zero. it's bad. >> jimmy: and it's worse in boston. >> it's even worse in boston but at least they have pretty snow. we're just like falling on ice. >> jimmy: yeah, i guess so. >> you try to silver line for boston because they've gotten so much snow. >> jimmy: they have, yeah. i think you would probably not even be seen above the snow, yeah. >> oh, no. did you -- have you seen the people jumping off of their roofs into the snow piles? >> jimmy: yeah, the mayor told them not to do that. but i think they should keep doing it it. it looks like a lot of fun. >> i don't want my kids to try

it but i do allow them to watch the videos. >> darwin had a theory. and that was that the strongest and smartest of the species will survive. and if you are jumping out of windows onto who knows what, maybe a fire hydrant -- >> oh my gosh, i didn't think about that. >> jimmy: there you go. >> i wouldn't have survived. >> jimmy: maybe it would be good for the human race in general. >> if i didn't survive? >> jimmy: not you. you wouldn't jump out a window. >> no, i wouldn't. not unless a -- a basement window, maybe. >> jimmy: shimmy out. your kids get snow days? >> they had a couple this year which is amazing in new york. it doesn't happen very often. but we actually got to go away for presidents weekend which we never -- i never have those days off. but once in a while you'll have celebrities -- you probably have this here too, they can't come. >> jimmy: they can't make it. >> they can't make it. so we got a long weekend. and we wound up going to turks and caicos which is amazing.

>> jimmy: wow, that's all right, yeah. >> it was so funny. our friends were texting us, don't come home! my face hurts! i tried to hail a cab and i died of a heart attack! it was like these horrified texts about how cold it was. >> jimmy: do the kids like it? they like doing that stuff? >> yeah, they -- it's funny. the kids sort of do what they do. and when you're on a trip with your kids, it is just that, it is a trip, not a vacation. because they bust your balls the entire time. morning to night. but we still had a good time. >> jimmy: what did you do while you were there? >> the kids did a lot of swimming. you know, they looked for conk there everywhere. you know, i just sort of laid out. and mark slept the entire time. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> it was like he slept the entire time we were there. >> jimmy: is he exhausted in general? >> i think he has, you know -- i always say, you know, there's narcolepsy but i call it

markolepsy, he falls asleep constantly. >> jimmy: where are the stranger places? >> any awards show ever in the history of time. even when he's been nominated. out like a light. this is your category -- >> cameras on him? >> cameras him. wake up! he fell asleep one year, we went to a dinner party at gelman's house, my executive producer. we had this lovely dipper party, whole group of people. and mark excused himself and went to the bathroom and never came back. and i'm thinking, oh my gosh, he is horribly sick. what's going on in there? so i excuse myself quietly and i go to check on him. the door is locked. and i can hear through the gellmans' baby monitor, snoring. he is snoring. and he's out like a light. so i say to michael, come back here. instead of like covertly coming

to help me, he's like, what do you need, what's going on? i said, i think mark's asleep, we need to break in. so we got the key, opened the door. mark's asleep. on the floor. and i said, what is with you? you haven't even had anything to drink yet. he goes, that bath mat looked so cozy. i swear. swear to god. >> jimmy: i'd do that kind of thing. i've never fallen asleep in somebody's bathroom though. >> he's fallen asleep -- >> jimmy: driving? >> driving -- he'll fall -- he would like to fall asleep. but i scratch his head. he has me scratch his head. >> jimmy: to keep him awake? >> he'll say, do me a favor, scratch the head. >> jimmy: at that point you should do him a favor and just drive. >> i offer to drive but he's like -- he would rather fall asleep than let me drive. >> jimmy: has he been diagnosed with narcolepsy? >> i think he has narcolepsy. he's never been diagnosed, that would require him going to a doctor. >> jimmy: which he won't do. he'd fall asleep in the office

and never come out of there. no, yeah, you have to do -- that's no good. does he drink coffee? >> he drinks coffee and immediately fall asleep. >> jimmy: wow. wow. but it's kind of a good quality when you're the guy. because you get into bed and you're sleeping through the night, it's no problem. >> he'll wake up for certain things. you know, and then immediately he goes right back to sleep. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's not just him. that's all of us. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: kind of a hallmark. >> it's better knowing i'm not alone. >> jimmy: sometimes it will be seconds. >> seconds, i mean, a half a second. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, okay. he's lasting a little bit shorter than i am. >> can i call 911? >> jimmy: we found a clip of you when you were a kid. >> oh. >> jimmy: on a television show. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. i don't know -- i know you know about the show. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but we found a clip of this that i have to show

because -- >> is my hair ridiculous? >> jimmy: yes, it is. yes. not right now. it is in the clip. we'll show the clip then talk about what's going on here. >> the girls like it so i wouldn't mind. >> how do you feel? i know how you feel. >> so i think that it's -- if guy wants to pay he can pay. but they should alternate turns. >> jimmy: very progressive. what year was that? >> well, it's before i got my invisiline. i would say that's '85 or '86. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: where was that? >> that was philadelphia. >> jimmy: we're about the same age. >> yeah. >> jimmy: people didn't dress like that where i grew up. >> no, no. but that is a very -- i mean, that was a very philadelphia thing. like you had your turtleneck, sleeveless turtleneck that went with your crinoline that match

your hair ribbons. by the way, that wasn't a perm, i did that to my own hair. >> jimmy: there's a little bit more here. ♪ >> jimmy: that's gellman you're dancing with, right? >> that is gellman. >> jimmy: wow. >> look at my dancing. >> jimmy: very good, by the way. and industry good too. [ cheers and applause ] >> am i wearing socks? did anybody notice that i'm wearing socks with pumps? >> jimmy: that was the thing in the '80s. madonna did it. >> i guess. i guess i thought it was madonna even in the '80s. now i still believe i'm madonna. but back then i guess i really believed it. >> jimmy: are you going to madonna's oscar party? >> yeah. i mean, i -- i don't think she is in town but i'm going to madonna oscar party, yeah. >> jimmy: let's talk about that.

kelly ripa is here with us. we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by smooth and crunchy butterfinger peanut butter cups. a different kind of peanut butter cup.

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, look at that. it's prince charming asleep in the bathroom. >> asleep in your bathroom. >> jimmy: guillermo, give him a kiss to wake him up. >> go wake him up. >> jimmy: don't run into the wall. kelly ripa is here. you have the big after oscar

show monday morning. i feel sorry for you. you are up literally all night. >> we are up all night. michael strahan is on the red carpet. i am backstage talking to all the winners. and then we try to go to as many parties as we possibly can. we sort of divide and conquer. we like to see celebrities in their natural habitat. and we report back on the air. because we don't -- you know in hollywood you guys get to see celebrities a lot. we don't really outside of our studio ever see a celebrity. so it's exciting to see them. and then --. >> jimmy: and people can live vicariously through you as if they were at the party themselves. >> i am like a stalker with celebrities. so i will like come up and take selfies with them. people really avoid me at all costs. >> jimmy: it's funny. i feel like regis kind of started that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: but he had one of those disposable cameras. >> he'd forget to wind it, yeah. >> jimmy: then like if you go to dinner with someone, the whole time he's snapping pictures of

you. you know none of it's getting developed or coming out or any of that stuff. >> right. with my camera, you know that those pictures are coming out. >> jimmy: so you're invited to madonna's party. >> yes. >> jimmy: it's funny you said that she's not going to be in town because i once got invited to madonna's party. when i was in high school i was in love with madonna. i thought, oh my gosh, i can't believe i'm invited to madonna's party! >> you can't believe it, right? >> jimmy: then i got there, an hour goes by, no madonna. two hours, no madonna. three hours. i'm in my bed at home. madonna never comes where was madonna? >> jimmy: it was in a house -- >> madonna was there last year, i saw her. >> jimmy: she was? well, this was a few years ago. i've now since sworn off. actually, i haven't been invited back. >> i gave her a full hug and then i like inhaled her hair. like a weirdo. >> jimmy: what do you mean you inhaled her hair? >> she smells like gardenias. i gave her a hug, and i said, mm, you smell so good.

she goes, okay, that's all right. so maybe we won't be invited back, i don't know. >> jimmy: that's the other thing. you can go whether you're invited or not, charge in with that camera. >> if you walk in like you belong people would let you in. >> jimmy: that's what madonna would want you to do. >> that's right. >> jimmy: one of the great pictures that i've ever seen. you with shaquille o'neal. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: now, that is something. michael is a big guy, but -- >> so shaq is so funny. because you know the enormous door frames you have in work, the big door frames? shaq doesn't just have to duck under, he has to turn to the side to get into the room? he looks like he's playing with a barbie doll. >> i sort of got this weird fantasy. >> jimmy: oh-oh. [ laughter ] >> that kristin chenoweth would show up. cancerous tin chenoweth is like up to here on me. >> jimmy: oh, yes. >> i feel like if kristin was there, if i swallowed kristin

and shaq swallowed me, he'd be like a human >> jimmy: sounds delicious. watch kelly ripa, all the news on everything the celebrities don't want you to know monday morning live 9:00 a.m. we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. nooping? jenny, tell us about this new boyfriend, is this the change that you are after? it feels right. more casual, not so uptight. confident. i feel sexy again. don't i make you feel sexy? quiet! wait... very sexy... whose side are you on? i'm on her backside now. are you talking about her jeans? yeah, they're old navy's new boyfriend jeans. those are old navy?! yeah, their jeans start at just $15. that's insane! i mean not clinically, of course... right now all jeans are buy one get one 50% off. it's a breakthrough! let's get to old navy! i'm not paying for this session.

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>> jimmy: welcome back. from "scandal," joshua malina, music from gorgon city with jennifer hudson. first the oscars are imminent. we've been providing a final service to our viewers. we asked our friend yehya to review the films nominated for best picture to help people decide which movies to root for on sunday. yehya is not a movie professional but he is enthusiastic. tonight he gives us his expert analysis of best picture nominee "american sniper." here's yehya talking about the movie. >> hi, i'm back again.

talking about the movie "american snebber." the movie talk about the war, you know, like a military. and there's a guy who's in the movie. he's in "the hangover." i got picture with bradley cooper. i got the director for the movie clint eastud. clint got a movie called "the bad good eggly cowboy." make my day and shoot it. and god bless him and god bless everyone. and god bless america and god bless everyone guy. go out to the movie. nominate for oscar. and god luck. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we'll be right back with joshua malina! [ cheers and applause ]

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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: gordon in studio with jennifer hudson. our next guest plays the attorney general who makes blackmail fun, the prankster in residence at "scandal" which you can see thursday nights here on abc. please say hello to joshua malina! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> hey, i want to thank you again. because you were here in november. and you brought me a special birthday gift. >> it was your birthday. >> jimmy: it was my birthday. >> today's my mother's birthday. >> jimmy: happy birthday to

momma lena. >> i invited her to be here, she chose to play bridge. >> jimmy: lives here in l.a., your mom? very nice, happy birthday to mom. for my birthday, i don't know if you did this for your mom, you got the cast members from "scandal" to read me a birthday note. >> i pranked them, told them we were making a birthday video for jimmy but i had secretly written the messages so we could edit them to saying nasty things about themselves. i paid a terrible price socially. >> jimmy: that's what i wanted to ask, how did it go over afterwards? i haven't seen you since then. >> not yate. >> jimmy:. >> jimmy: it did not go great. >> frosty. every one of my relationships and friendships has been downgraded. >> jimmy: thank you. >> it was totally word it. i would do it again. i actually came to "scandal" with enough friends. >> jimmy: you know, that's the truth. the truth of the matter is a life of one who partakes in tomfoolery can be a lonely one.

>> it's a lonely road. >> jimmy: you become is on ka sized, people don't trust you. >> if i were on fire they wouldn't throw their cough if any on me. this is how you know -- you've got to have skin in the game, right? it was a good prank. one person told me i'd broken her heart. or his. i don't want to say. >> jimmy: is that right? >> heartbroken. >> jimmy: really? >> i don't want to say it is. brian bellamy. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. there was some -- yeah. >> jimmy: do you do this at all the shows you work at? are you universally hated? >> once i become a regular, that's when i start. >> jimmy: did you do this when you were young, your first jobs? >> yeah. early on. i was in the broadway play "a few good men." my friend ron was in the play and i put itching powder in his uniform. we wore military fatigues. apparently it was made up of glass shards. it was more pain than itching. i almost got fired. >> jimmy: what was your first --

you started in the theater. what was your first job? >> yeah, i moved to new york. i graduated from college in '88, moved to new york to do theater. it took awhile before i started getting work. for a while i was in the theater help industry. i took a rigorous nine-day bar tending course. at the new york school of bar tending. i got really what is the lowest job in the whole world of mixology, working at broad way shows. you work 15 minutes a day. >> jimmy: oh. >> during intermission. >> jimmy: just the intermission, right, yeah. >> even for that low qualification i didn't know what i was doing. if somebody ordered something that didn't have the ingredients -- gin and tonic i know what's in there, gin and tonic. a filthy dog? i'd have to disappear and go through my index cards. >> jimmy: and there's not much time, the lights are flashing, and everything is -- yeah, yeah. >> there are also perks. you got to see -- i worked at the broadway theater that "les mis" played at, you got to see it as many times as you wanted, which for me is one.

[ laughter ] >> i thought of two and iing if out where the emotional high points were. at 8:35 i popped my head in. i'll be back in two hours for the dead. spoiler alert, sorry. >> jimmy: speaking of that, on "scandal," there is never a moment of boredom. 20 things will happen per episode. >> that is true. >> jimmy: if you miss two weeks you have no chance of catching up. >> no. >> jimmy: are you ever confused? >> i'm constantly confused. >> you are. >> yes, yes. people will ask me stuff about the show and under the guise of -- i can't say, shonda won't let us. the fact is, i have no idea. so i'll get a script, usually there are nine different things i don't really remember or understand. and i call my dad who really does track the show well. he's like my external hard drive. dad, talk to me, what is that? he says, season two, remember vote rigging --

>> jimmy: you have a daddy-ator. get your dad to live tweet the show. >> not a bad idea. >> jimmy: has your dad tweeted? >> no. i learned about twitter through my sister toby. she used to use it as a way of letting my parents know she was still alive. "ate a sandwich." oh, she's a life, she ate a sandwich. that's how i discovered twitter, through my dad. >> jimmy: the only person with a practical use for twitter. >> exactly. >> jimmy: that's really remarkable. i know that lot you guys are on. seems like it would be a good idea to start playing prairngs on people on the other shows on that lot. >> that's a good idea. i have to move on. because i've completely lost the trust of everyone at "scandal." that's a good idea. maybe within the shondaland world, "how to get away with murder." let's talk afterwards. >> i'd love to help you, yeah. might not be a good idea to do one of shonda's shows because she will be the one who fires you.

>> that is true. i actually inadvertently got shonda. i would never go after her. there was a sort of mine i had planted, that on my twitter page there's something i like to do which says, this is truly the worst person on facebook. then there's a link that you click on. it takes you to your own facebook page. so she must have been trolling my facebook page. i got an e-mail from her saying, what the hell? my kids are on that page! >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah, for a second i thought i was going to get fired. then i said, shonda, it's a joke. you clicked on it, it takes you to your page, no one else is going to your page. but it was full body sweat for a second. >> jimmy: there's really a double edge to this sword. >> that is true. >> jimmy: well, i look forward -- i really wish somebody was following you around with a camera. >> can you arrange that? >> i did get to see the paranoia that goes along with you being onset and it's fascinating. >> i make everyone uncomfortable. >> jimmy: what more could you ask for?

joshua malina, everyone. he makes everyone uncomfortable. "scandal" thursday nights on abc. we'll be right back with gordon city and jennifer hudson! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. they take us to worlds full of heroes and titans. for respawn, building the best interactive entertainment begins with the cloud. this is "titanfall," the first multi-player game built and run on microsoft azure. empowering gamers around the world to interact in ways they never thought possible. this cloud turns data into excitement. this is the microsoft cloud.

[ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. >> jimmy: thanks to kelly ripa, thanks to joshua malina. i want to apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time for him. "nightline" is coming up next. but first, this is their album "sirens" with the song "go all night" with help from jennifer hudson, gorgon city! ♪ give me what i want and i'll give you what you need don't play with ♪ ♪ my emotions baby i'm another breed don't wanna lose this feeling so don't burn it out ♪ ♪ i wanna keep on living in the moment now i'm pulling you tight ♪ ♪ and i might not let you leave so give me your devotion and in the night ♪

♪ i'll set you free don't wanna lose control until the lights go out just me and you ♪ ♪ let's get into the moment now here in your arms i could go all night ♪ ♪ here in your arms i could spend my whole life here in your arms i could go all night ♪ ♪ give me your love and i might just keep on dancing just keep on dancing ♪ ♪ ♪ give in in my heart and you'll finally make me see between every misfortune ♪ ♪ there's a fortune in between don't wanna lose this feeling so don't burn it out ♪ ♪ i wanna keep on living in the moment now i'm ready for your love

don't hold it back on me ♪ ♪ just give me your emotion baby that's all that i need don't wanna lose control until the lights go out ♪ ♪ just me and you let's get into the moment now here in your arms i could go all night ♪ ♪ here in your arms i could spend my whole life here in your arms i could go all night ♪ ♪ give me your love and i might just keep on don't stop give me all give me all your devotion ♪ ♪ don't stop give me all give me all your heart don't stop give me all give me all your devotion ♪ ♪ don't stop give me all give me all your heart don't stop give me all give me all your devotion ♪ ♪ don't stop give me all give me all your heart don't stop give me all give me all your devotion ♪ ♪ don't stop give me all give me all your heart here in your arms i could go all night ♪ ♪ don't stop give me all give me all your heart here in your arms i could go all night ♪

♪ here in your arms i could spend my whole life here in your arms i could go all night ♪ ♪ give me your love and i might just keep on here in your arms i could go all night ♪ ♪ here in your arms i could spend my whole life here in your arms i could go all night ♪ ♪ give me your love and i might just keep on dancing ♪ keep on dancing just keep on dancing just keep on dancing ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

this is "nightline." >> tonight, a standoff in a residential neighborhood. the suspect arrested in the shooting death of a mother of four after an alleged road rage incident. the husband rushing to the scene. >> animal, are you happy? >> why does the story behind this violent encounter seem to keep shifting? fashion forward. it takes a lot to stand out in a sea of beautiful people. so this fashion week, some designers are hiring extraordinary and unusual models. tonight the inspiring, intimate story behind a runway revolution. and homeward bound.