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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  March 23, 2015 11:35pm-12:38am PDT

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barry bobble head. gave away 10,000 tonight. he's in the form that he used shooting underhand 43 throw. great job. >> all right. next on jimmy kimmel chelsea clinton have a great >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- chelsea clinton. adam carolla. and music from zac brown band. with cleto and the cletones. and now, let us say, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: hi, everybody. i'm jimmy, i'm host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. this is our first show back in l.a. after a long and wonderful week in austin, texas. they say austin's weird. that's like the slogan of the town. this morning i saw spider-man and spongebob fighting over half a chalupa. spongebob won. we had a very good time in austin. guillermo, what was your favorite thing about austin besides the museums, obviously? >> guillermo: oh, jimmy. the people are very nice. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> guillermo: the good, the drinks, and the ladies. >> jimmy: right, okay. is that how you recounted the vacation to your wife? >> guillermo: no. only food. >> jimmy: only good, okay. i think texas may have broken my stomach. i really do.
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how many pounds you think i gained? i think we were there for eight full days. how many pounds? >> guillermo: i think ten. >> jimmy: very close. nine pounds. the weight of a human head. it's like i have another head. even my yoga pants don't fit me anymore. do you have any idea how much we ate? guillermo and i took pictures at every meal. and, well, let's show that. put that up on the screen. this is our "wall of food." this is only a portion of the portions we had. this was one tuesday night. no, this is -- my feels a top, guillermo's on the bottom. let's play where's waldo, see if you can spot a vegetable. this all went into us. i miss all of these guys. >> guillermo: me, too. >> jimmy: of all the meals you had which was the best one?
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>> guillermo: wow. the brisket. and -- >> jimmy: which place? >> guillermo: which place? hold on. oh, this -- that one right there next to the cake. >> jimmy: are you going to try to bite the screen? >> guillermo: no. i wish. no. and then the pizza. >> jimmy: it can't be everything, i said one favorite. you had a good time. the takeaway is we're lucky to be alive right now. we have a very good show for you tonight. chelsea clinton is here. [ cheers and applause ] chelsea used to be the daughter of bill and hillary clinton. chelsea's here to promote the "serve a year" campaign. a lot of the celebrities do this, serve a year, sometimes less with good behavior. but this is -- also my former husband adam carolla is here with us. [ cheers and applause ] we've been thinking about it. adam and chelsea could
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eventually wind up running against each other for president one day. meanwhile the first known candidate to enter the race for president in 2016 is texas senator ted cruz. ted cruz broke the news that he will run on twitter today. that's the cool way to do it, i guess. announcing your candidacy before everyone else does is kind of like being the first celebrity to show up on the oscars red carpet. it's not a great thing. ted cruz is essentially the giuliana rancic of candidates for president. [ laughter ] the election, by the way, don't make us go back to texas because we will. the election isn't for 20 more months which is a long time. and he's already running. ted cruz could have a sex change operation, get pregnant, decide to keep the baby, which of course he would, give birth, and still have plenty of time to run for president. and i hope he does all of those things, i really do. did you watch college basketball this weekend? [ cheers and applause ]
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the ratings for the ncaa tournament this year are the highest they've been in 22 years. i will say this. watching the games this weekend taught me anything, it's that i really like to take a road trip with charles barkley, sam jackson, and spike lee. three of the top seeds, kentucky, wisconsin, and duke, are still alive. ucla bruins are the cinderella story. my bracket is a bambi story, all my picks are bambi's mother. ucla plays gonzaga in the 16. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: gonzaga comes from the land of imaginary schools that only exist during march madness. out of curiosity how many of you are participating in ncaa office pools? [ cheers and applause ] i'm sure you'll be interested to know, most office pools are illegal. that's right, you're a bunch of criminals. that's what makes it so exciting.
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the thrill of potentially doing hard time for circling the word "valparaiso" on a piece of paper. it's sad though the one thing that we actually enjoy about work is against the law. but it is. now, this is good. this is -- unlike college basketball, no one was watching this, but this happened at an american hockey league game last night between the manchester monarchs and portland pirates. they had a special "star wars" theme where they try to get the kids who maybe don't care about the hockey to come out. turned out to be unfortunate for a certain lord vader. >> darth vader! >> and right now -- stepping towards center ice -- the one and only max along with darth vader who's just lost his helmet. >> jimmy: and some of his mystique while he was at it. this i think is both interesting and disturbing. someone has determined that uber the car service app has faster response times than ambulances
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in new york city. the median response time for an uber is 2.42 minutes. the wait time for an ambulance is 6.1 minutes. more than twice as long. although ambulance drivers won't repeated you ask you to give them a five-star rating on the way to the hospital. maybe if the ambulance drivers worked for tips they'd show up faster. every second counts in medical emergency. uber is capitalizing on this with what might turn out to be their most vital new service to date. >> first there was brex, uber plus, uber black, uber suv, uber lux, now ubulance car service. need immediate medical attention? an ubulance driver will come right to you. >> barbara? >> what? no, i'm bob. >> what's your emergency? >> i broke my leg.
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>> all ubulance drivers complete a four-hour medical training course that includes instruction in the most cutting-edge emergency medicine available. >> there you go! >> when it's an emergency, don't wait for an ambulance. >> want a water? >> get a ubulance. >> ahh! you broke my other leg! >> in the event of an ubulance accident, another ubulance will be provided for no additional charge. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's good. seems like a good service. i mentioned -- as i mentioned we were in austin. we brought most of our crew with us to austin. we all flew together home saturday on southwest. we had the plane to ourselves. we did a show on friday night and we left the next morning. of course, everyone was pretty zonked out. so we're on the plane about halfway through the flight. my cousin sal comes over and he asks if i have a bag of chips which i said, oh, i have a sandwich. he said, no, i need chips. i had a bag of doritos. i give it to sal. let's roll the tape. that's sal.
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half the people in the plane are asleep or trying to sleep. sal's got his little bag of chips. you see he puts one, two chips on my cousin mickey's head. he keeps moving. and that's john lara our script coordinator. a couple of chips on his head. you can't really see who that was. she got chipped. our saxophone player cleto senior you'll see in a moment. that's not him. yeah, right there. you were out cold. you can see now that's gate in the hat, that's our cameraman jim. sal slips a chip and puts it under the hat and he wakes up. there you go, no reason, he just does things like that. a lot. so from time to time we load sal up with a camera. in this case with a police uniform. we sent him on the street in austin dressed like a cop with
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tickets to our show to share with the unfortunate festivalgoers who happen to cross paths with officer sal. >> sal: hi, sir, how you doing? can i have your hands against the wall for one second, please? thank you, just the hands against the wall. i want to get you on your way. hands against the wall. yeah, yeah, can i have your feet up? i'm going to tell you why in a second. feet out. spread. facing the wall. one hand a little lower down. closer together. closer together, please. thank you. you understand why i'm detaining you? >> no. >> sal: i'm pulling you to the side -- hold on a second. hello? yeah. i know but i'm at work, i can't deal wilt this now. okay. call me back. did that hand drop? did that hand drop?
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can i have it up? up. then spread out a little wider. okay. now you know why i detained you, right? basically, i detained you because -- [ phone ringing ] >> sal: sorry. hey. i know. but you should be able to handle dinner. i can't do this right now, i'm working. i have a guy against the wall right now. your mother's coming? oh, i thought it was next week. all right. do whatever you want, do whatever you want. i have to deal with this right now. i am working right now. please. please. please, i have this guy up against the wall, he's moving his hands all over the place. wow, full scholarship to community college. she's going to go, right? that was her school of choice, right? yes. yes. okay. get some sides, get cole slaw, mashed potatoes, potato salad,
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whatever you want to do. yeah. unlike this guy here. all right. all right, i'm going to give you a ticket, a vip pass, actually, to "jimmy kimmel live." hands up against the wall! wave to jimmy, wave your hands. you're on the show. there you go. thank you, man. appreciate it. [ cheers and applause ] >> sal: sir, sir? have you been drinking? >> no. >> sal: okay, why not? >> it's almost noon. >> sal: so? >> what are you planning on drinking? >> i'm not planning on drinking. >> sal: i'm going to have to write you a ticket. >> for what? >> sal: it's public display of soberness. >> i am sober. >> sal: i know, that's the problem. >> why? >> sal: we're trying to promote a party atmosphere. can't have you walking around sober. >> you must be out of your mind. >> sal: i am. it's south by southwest. okay? >> what is your problem?
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>> sal: you need to have alcohol in you. >> you don't have a right to tell me whether i drink or don't drink alcohol. >> sal: it's a festival. i'm going to have to write you up for public display of soberness. 60 bucks, all right? can i at least get you to untuck your shirt? >> come on, man. >> sal: come on, come on, come on. >> [ bleep ]. >> sal: go ahead, go, on your way. >> sal: i harks sir. can i see your dog permit? >> dog permit? >> sal: they should be wearing han yards. you don't have dog lanyards? >> no. >> sal: i'm going to have to write you up. what are. names? >> oh, man. willie and bo. >> sal: how oldare they? >> 10 years old, man, 10. >> sal: 10? >> they're 11. >> sal: 11 or 10? put your phone away. >> what's up? i'm going to get -- >> sal: you have the answers on your phone, how old they are? >> i do. >> sal: let's see.
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>> i'm going to record this. >> sal: that's felonious distraction of -- something else. >> you can't tell me the law, you're trying to write me a ticket? >> sal: i've got it right here. sir, come here. sir, i've seen everything. okay? >> i've seen everything too but a cop that can't tell me the law i'm breaking? >> sal: you're resisting arrest? >> i'm not being arrested, my dogs are being arrested. >> sal: are they resisting arrest? >> you tell me. >> sal: if you let go of that leash will they flee? let me see. okay, good. >> they behave like that. there's plenty of other [ bleep ] you guys could be doing. >> sal: your dog's not wearing a lanyard. >> so what? it's a [ bleep ] lanyard, i didn't even know the dogs are supposed to have a lanyard, okay? it's a joke for dogs to have a lanyard, just be downtown -- >> sal: if this was a joke i would say, why do police officers smell? because they're on duty. >> okay. >> sal: it's all about "jimmy kimmel live," because you're on
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right now. >> [ bleep ]! oh, man! [ bleep ]. >> sal: it's a music event, south by southwest. >> can i get a picture? >> sal: no. get lost. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have a good show for you tonight. music from zac brown wand, adam carolla is here, be right back with chelsea clinton so stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ it's a significant improvement over the infiniti we had... i've had a lot of hondas... we went around the country, talking to people who made the switch to ford. the brand more people buy. and buy again. all-wheel drive is amazing... i felt so secure. i really enjoy the pep in its step... that's the ecoboost... the new image of ford now looks really refined. i drove the fusion... and i never went back. escape was just right. just announced, make the switch to ford and get
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight, he has the most popular podcast in the world and a new movie called "road hard" too. the always-crazy adam carolla is here. adam and i used to do a show together called "the man show." and he made a movie about a standup comic, he plays the standup comic, who used to have a popular show on cable called "the bro show". that ended and his partner from "the bro show" went on to host a talk show and as you'll see in the movie become a real jerk.
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adam insists that is not based on me. he used my set to shoot it. we'll get into that. then later, their album comes out next month, it's called "jekyll and hyde." these guys are great. zac brown band from the at&t stage. tomorrow night, tom arnold will be here. maisie williams from "game of thrones." we'll have music from saint motel. and later this week, matthew perry, zooey deschanel, john cena, from "scandal" guillermo diaz, with music from for king and country and charlie wilson too. so please join us for all those. our first guest tonight, i'm pretty sure you know her parents. she grew up before our eyes and is now a mom with a ph.d. and a campaign aimed at young people called "serve a year." please welcome the 48th president of the united states, chelsea clinton. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm great. >> jimmy: i interviewed you and your mom and dad at arizona state university last -- awhile back. >> last march. >> jimmy: last march. we talked and one of the things, your mom was kind of haranguing you saying she wants a grandchild. she wants a grand child. and it turned out that at that time, you were pregnant. did she know you were pregnant then? >> she did know. >> jimmy: she did know? >> she just had been haranguing me in private and public for so long, and i think maybe she just couldn't quite believe it. she couldn't lose. >> jimmy: interesting, interesting. you realize you guys were under oath there, whenever i conduct interviews -- >> i did see a bible. >> jimmy: there was a swearing-in. congratulations, you had a baby daughter named charlotte. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: charlotte clip son mess minute ski. clinton is her middle name?
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>> tell me why. >> jimmy: mezvinsky is not a good name. >> and i liked you so much. >> jimmy: clinton is the -- that will get you into any gymboree in the united states. mezvinsky, no. >> not quite 6 months, we're not worried about gymboree yet. we're worried about solids. >> going in or coming out? >> all the above. >> jimmy: are your parents changing diapers and doing things grabbed parents do? >> they are changing diapers, reading to her, helping her go to sleep, singing to her. it's been such a joy for me to watch them rediscover that part of their lives, to watch them as grandparents. >> jimmy: that is fun. i'm trying to imagine your dad changing diapers. i can't, really. >> yes, he does okay. >> jimmy: he does? he gets the stickers on the things? >> yeah. >> jimmy: are they amazed by the new products that exist now? >> there's some things that haven't changed like diaper technology. >> jimmy: yes. >> there are other things like,
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you know, the wireless baby monitor. that we don't have to be in her room to know what she's doing. ooh and aah moments. >> jimmy: i would think with secret service around, especially when your parents are around, you couldn't have a wireless baby monitor. what if they steal your baby's secrets? >> i think charlotte is pretty fantastic. so they wouldn't even have to steal, i'm happy to talk about her until no one else would want to hear it. >> jimmy: your parents see their baby as grandparents do and say, she's a genius, this is a genius, i can tell? >> yes, absolutely. i think, though, to be fair, charlotte's parent dozen that as well. i mean, she's not yet 6 months old, she's now sitting up by herself. that's amazing. a couple of weeks earlier than baby center told me she would be doing it, clearly she's precocious and intelligent. >> jimmy: i bet your child will be a genius. my child, on the othehand, will not be a genius. >> i don't think that's fair to jane. >> jimmy: we've looked at her, we think she's a genius.
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the reason is, we're not geniuses. so we then think we have a genius -- >> i think molly's pretty smart. >> jimmy: but how smart could she be she married me, know what i'm saying? when you're growing up in the white house, as you did, president obama was here and i i was asking about sasha and malia, about social media and how easy it is to put something online for the whole world in just a second. are you glad that didn't exist when you were a kid in the white house? >> it's something i definitely worry about now with charlotte. and i think that's really true for all parents. i think it's crucial that kids are able to write their own stories, and when there's so much social media, there are other people already trying to tell their stories. i worry about that now as a mom. certainly for my friends that are moms. it's really a common concern. trying to figure out how to protect her from that so she can make the right choices for herself along the way, something
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mark and i are really committed to. >> jimmy: you do have to be more careful in a family that's high profi profile, you have to watch what you say. you can't do what regular people do. you can't cut loose and make a fool out of yourself. you seem to be very serious. i think -- obviously you're very intelligent. do you have foolish things that you do or are interested in? do you watch dumb stuff? >> you know i love action movies. i don't think they're dumb, i think they're highbrow entertainment. >> jimmy: like when we say action movies -- like what are we talking about here, specifically? what kinds of action movies? >> i have a vivid memory when we were together in arizona state, you asked all three of us, my parents and i, what was the most recent movie we'd seen. my parents had some erudite answer. the newest i'd seen was the newest "300" installment. >> jimmy: wow, okay. so "fast and furious." >> very excited about number 7. >> jimmy: you are, okay. >> glad i'm not alone. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: what, in your opinion -- i had no idea you had so much in common with adam carolla, by the way. what, in your opinion, is the best bad action movie of all-time? >> that is such an unfortunate label. >> jimmy: it is, yes. >> i really -- i grew up on the james bond movies with my dad. i probably would choose that whole franchise. >> jimmy: yeah, i don't think that would be considered bad by anyone. i think when you're talking about -- >> "police academy" movies. >> jimmy: definitely bad. >> i also grew up watching those, love those. truly. >> jimmy: with your dad? >> yeah. >> jimmy: in the white house? >> that was more when i was little in arkansas. but yeah. >> jimmy: wow, really, wow. that surprises me. yeah, okay, all right. you are human. [ laughter ] we've done something, we did something together here. you have this initiative. it's really an interesting thing. i think it's a great thing. for young people who maybe are just coming out of high school, before college, after college, however they want to do it,
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donate -- give a year of service. they actually are paid for this. >> they are. >> jimmy: so they do get something out of it besides the personal satisfaction of doing it. and we shot something together to encourage young people to be a part of this. when we come back we'll take a look at that. chelsea clinton is here. we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by the 2015 ford focus. to see more, go to ford.com/focus. t-mobile can set you free. now we'll pay off your phone. yep! you heard us. every last cent. stuck in a contract. we've got you covered there too. why wait, ditch your carrier... and switch to the un-carrier™ today.
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>> jimmy: question are back with chelsea clinton. adam carolla still to come. this is some photograph. how old are you in this picture? >> i'm 12. >> jimmy: 12 years old, holding hands, no glove on michael jackson, he did not even require one for you. little richard too. i'm sure you're probably a big fan of his as a 12-year-old. that is crazy. what a crazy life. do you ever think about that? this has been a crazy -- >> i've been so blessed. i mean, the opportunities i've had because of the choices that my parents made. i revered michael jackson at that age. admittedly not as much as i revered boyz ii men. i'm thrilled they're coming back. >> jimmy: did boyz ii men come to the white house when you were there? >> they did not. >> jimmy: you could probably get them to come to your house now, i bet. >> i'm glad they have a constituency here in the show this evening. but, i mean, meeting michael jackson was just extraordinary when i was 12. >> jimmy: i'll bet, i'll bet. i can't even -- it boggles my mind.
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i wasn't even allowed to buy cds. they didn't exist, actually, at that age. >> eight-track. >> jimmy: yeah. that's probably right. is this is called "serve a year," this campaign. you talk about it a little bit. i'm new to it. >> we're thrilled to have your support and we are so grateful to kick off "serve a year" at jimmy kimmel's studio today. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: high school kids from hollywood high school came over. >> high school kids, americorps alums serving volunteers. the real behind "serve a year 86 is just like we talk about where we went to high school or college, young people in america could talk about where they did their service. we have so many challenges. we have a million kids who don't graduate from high school. we have almost 50 million americans who are food insecure. we know that national service can help solve those challenges that we face and provide a real pathway to employment for young
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people. we live almost 6 million 16 to 24-year-olds who aren't in school and aren't in a job. giving more young people the opportunity to serve, to help empower the next generation, is something that clearly all of us who are there today are committed to and we're thrilled to have the entertainment industry be part of this effort. >> jimmy: i'm glad you explained that. i'll be honest, when we shot the psa i was a little bit confused. well, here we go. >> hi. i'm chelsea clinton. >> i'm jimmy kimmel. >> we're here today to tell you about the launch of a major new initiative. >> listen coesly because if you don't it could cost you your life. >> it won't cost you your life. but it could very well change your life. it's a new effort from the clinton foundation service nation and leaders in game and media. it's called "serve a year." >> temporary name, we'll come up with something more exciting soon. i happen to like "national ninja warrior squad." squadron. >> our goal is to inspire young americans to dedicate a year of
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their lives to national service. one year to make america a better place. >> and then never have to help anyone ever again. >> america faces many serious challenges. childhood poverty, low graduation rates, low unemployment. >> gluten. >> but through americorps program, teach for america, city year, fema corps, and others young people can be a force for positive change. >> and you can get so many pick pictures of you doing it for facebook and instagram. helping an unfortunate person, 200 likes guaranteed. >> get a year of real-world experience, the pride that comes from helping others, and you'll get a paycheck. >> plus you have a good excuse for getting out of stuff. wish i could come to your improv show but i can't because i'm serving america. >> you'll gain maturity and confidence while doing desperately needed work. >> you get to skip jury duty. >> no, you don't. >> really? >> that's not true. >> it should be the thing. no? >> no.
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>> this is about giving something back to the country we all love. >> remember, there's no "i" in service. >> imagine what we could accomplish if a million americans spend a year serving our schools, our health centers, and communities struggling with poverty or disaster. >> imagine what would happen if you dumped a million rainbow jell-o shots into a big swimming pool. what? sorry, i thought we were imagining things. >> "serve a year" is about changing lives, including yours. in the end, don't we all owe america that much? >> no. >> make your commitment to a year of national service. sign up today. for "national ninja warriors squad." >> it's "serve a year." visit the website and join us. >> "serve a year." it's up to all of us. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: find more at serveayear.org. thank you, chelsea clinton,
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check out my breakfast! eggs... sausage... ham... bacon... cheese... and sourdough bread. uh, mine's easier. get a load of jack's loaded breakfast sandwich. what's on it? what's not on it? it's like a big ol' breakfast buffet right in your hand.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: if you're going to be in the l.a. area and want to see the show, call 866-jimmytix or in the l.a. area and want to see the show, call 866-jimmytix or go to jimmykimmellive.com. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪
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>> jimmy: welcome back. still to come, zach brown band. he did not grow up in the white house, in fact he was raised in a port-a-john. he has a new movie "road hard" which is available on vod and roadhardmovie.com. please welcome adam carolla! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i'm glad you saw the towel. what's with the bracelet you have on? >> oh, jimmy, this is -- this is, you know -- i have a lot of great ideas. >> why? >> some that are great and others are just awesome. but this is the most awesome. >> jimmy: what is it? >> so for my 50th birthday, jimmy took me and my family and dicky and his gal and a bunch of folks to napa to all celebrate.
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we went out, had a beautiful lunch on a saturday. i ordered a huge beet salad, right? and then forgot about it. had a couple of cocktails that night. put the kids down. went, got up in the middle of the night, used the toilet. went number two. looked down and said, oh my god, i'm dying! i've ruptured my spleen! i have internal bleeding! i got my wife to have the kids gather round the bed to say good-bye to them. then realized, wait a minute. i'd forgotten i'd eaten a huge beet salad earlier that day. what if there was a reminder, jimmy? >> jimmy: aah. >> what if there was a reminder if you ate beets? beets by ace, okay? it's what they give you when you get the salad. you'll never forget. and by the way it's b biodegradab biodegradable. when you're done, if you've got a floater, play some ring toss. right in the toilet. >> jimmy: what a great invention
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that is. >> yeah, i got a goal, i got a golden one too. >> jimmy: what's that for? >> they have golden beets, jimmy. >> jimmy: golden beets. >> say you eat golden beets. i'm doing the math. i have a bunch of golden beets, you look down, oh my god, i'm king midas! gold sphincter! i was talking to clinton about it. i'm going to quit my job, i'm crapping gold! no, no, i got a reminder now. >> jimmy: red velvet cake that would be important to have for also. >> another one. and this one. i'm in love with this one. >> jimmy: what is this? >> i think you know what it is. >> jimmy: oh. yes, asparagus on a hat. >> an asparagus hat, yeah. asparagus on a hat, shishkabob is just meat on a stick, yeah. >> jimmy: what is that for? >> well, you know, when you have asparagus and then you make the tinkle. >> jimmy: right. >> i'm saying, let's warn the guy's going to sidle up next to you at the urinal, back off,
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jack. step back, use the handicapped stall. >> jimmy: it might be better if it went like -- more like this. because then he would really see it and you could poke him with it. >> i didn't come out here to be made fun of, jimmy. how cool would it be if you ran into another guy with his beet bracelet on? hey, man! you get goat cheese with that? >> jimmy: cool. really, really cool. now, i want to talk about this movie you made. the movie is called "road hard." it is very funny. but the basic essence of the film is that it seems very similar to our life stories. we hosted a cable television show together. and then i went to do a talk show. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: then you were doing a podcast and you're doing standup comedy. but in your movie, the guy who plays me is a jerk. >> well, i don't know why you have to weave yourself into every movie. [ laughter ]
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you see "jurassic park" and jimmy's like, obviously the t-rex stands as a metaphor. pret big ego. >> jimmy: it had nothing to do with me? >> i've got to say it's a little tiring, jimmy. like having this guy, every like six months i get a phone call. hey, "rolling stone" wants to talk to you. they do? about the success of the podcast? no, they're doing an article on jimmy. one week before this movie came out, jimmy, one week, i got a call from "entertainment weekly." i said, finally. finally. all the crowd funding and the money raising and the hard work has paid off! because they want to do a story about me and my movie! and they said, we're doing a cover story on jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy: yeah, that's right. by the way, i want to point out that the writer of that article, very nice guy dan sneerson, told me the first ten minutes of his conversation with you was you
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telling him how much you hate "entertainment weekly." >> i was angry! i wanted to focus on my movie! >> jimmy: you made a movie called "the hammer" which was really great. but there was no nudity in "the hammer." >> no. >> jimmy: you realize that a hole needed to be filled, yes? >> yes. there's a nudity void. and i needed to get a running start at it. and fill it. >> jimmy: yes. >> i got an "r" rating in my last movie for no reason. and this one, this time it's going to earn the "r." >> jimmy: you're going to earn it. >> lots of boobies. actually, seven nipples in the movie. if you watch it you'll know what i'm talking about. >> jimmy: you had the movie mostly done, you said i'm going to show you the movie. i said, great, come over tuesday night. you come in my house and our mutual friend mike is with you. and as is your 8-year-old son sonny. >> yes. >> jimmy: and i didn't know it was coming. i said, sonny, you want to -- i'll set you up, you can watch
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cartoons or i'll put a movie on. he goes, no, i'll watch dad's movie. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i was like, this is weird. my kids didn't watch me host the emmys. >> why take a huge break between boobies, you know what i mean? as society. it's nothing but boobies from 0 to 1 1/2, you're life is a huge areola, sucking and sucking and sucking. then you take this boobie sabbatical, you've got to wait to high school. why not a little island boobie? they do it that way in france. we give them a little boobie around 8 like a booster. >> jimmy: it was halfway through the movie that i realized why sonny wanted to see it began. >> yes. >> jimmy: i turned around, oh, now i see why you're supportive of your father, there are naked women's breasts. is it possible to be the coolest and worst father ever simultaneously? >> hm.
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i think we'll have to ask bill cosby. i think he's the only one that could really answer that question. >> jimmy: so we have a clip from the movie. >> oh, good. >> jimmy: i think we need to explain that the talk show host played by jane moore is in no way based on me at all. >> no, not this jimmy. >> jimmy: here it is, "road hard." >> i'm offering you a job, a good job. take the job. >> audience warmup? i'd rather kill myself. >> who wants jelly bellies? sorry, i can see you brought your own jelly belly. >> jimmy: congratulations. the movie is crowd funded. america made this movie with you. >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: as a result, you have longer credits than "avatar." >> yes, 14,000 people's names in the credit of this movie. >> jimmy: i got you a gift in austin to celebrate. >> wow.
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>> jimmy: this is what we call a pinata. >> wow. >> jimmy: adam carolla. "road hard," it's on vod. we'll be right back with zac brown band! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world.
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my nai'm a lineman for pg&e out of the concord service center. i have lived here pretty much my whole life. i have been married for twelve years. i have 3 kids. i love living here and i love working in my hometown. at pg&e we are always working to upgrade reliability to meet the demands of the customers. i'm there to do the safest job possible - not only for them, but everybody, myself included that lives in the community. i'm very proud to do the work that i do and say that i am a lineman for pg&e because it's my hometown. it's a rewarding feeling. well, i drove grandpa to speed dating this week, so i should probably get the last roll. dad, but i practiced my bassoon. and i listened. i can do this. everyone deserves ooey gooey pillsbury cinnamon rolls. make the weekend pop! dude totino's blasted rolls. sweet.
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totino's blasted crust rolls... yeah. flavor at full blast [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank chelsea clinton for being here, i want to thank two adam carollas for being here. the movie is "road hard." and apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time. "nightline" is next, but first, their album "jekyll and hyde" comes out april 28th here with the song "homegrown," zac brown band! ♪
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♪ i got a piece of land out in the countryside lay back and smell the sun warm up the georgia pie ♪ ♪ feels so good to be taking it easy why would i ever leave 'cause i know ♪ ♪ i got some good friends that live down the street got a good lookin' woman with her arms 'round me ♪ ♪ live in a small town where it feels like home i got everything i need and nothing that i don't ♪ ♪ homegrown homegrown ♪
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we got a fire boy down by the riverside ♪ ♪ sip whiskey out the bottle livin' like we'll never die come on stay a while if you don't believe me ♪ ♪ why would i ever leave 'cause i know i got some good friends that live down the street ♪ ♪ got a good lookin' woman with her arms 'round me live in a small town where it feels like home ♪ ♪ i got everything i need and nothing that i don't homegrown homegrown ♪ ♪ homegrown homegrown
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i got some good friends that live down the street ♪ ♪ got a good lookin' woman with her arms 'round me live in a small town where it feels like home ♪ ♪ i got everything i need homegrown and nothing that i don't homegrown ♪ ♪ everything i need homegrown and nothing that i don't homegrown ♪ ♪ it's the way that you care if all the things you think you want it's the way that you care ♪ ♪ if all the things you think you want it's the way that you care if all the things ♪ ♪ you think you want it's the way that you care if all the things you think you want ♪ ♪ i got everything i need nothing that i don't homegrown everything i need ♪ ♪ nothing that i don't homegrown everything i need nothing that i don't ♪ ♪ homegrown oh, everything i need nothing that i don't
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homegrown ♪ [ cheers and applause ] this is "nightline." >> tonight, striking back at bullies. she was the object of public ridicule before the age of social media. >> i was patient zero. >> now monica lewinski is taking on cyber bullies. called out on "dancing with the stars." >> i left school at 17 because of bullying. >> in the fight to help today's victims. there are riches to be found in here. if you know what you're looking for. meet the unusual treasure hunter who transforms trash into cash. now he's showing us how he does it. could your home be home

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