tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC March 24, 2015 11:35pm-12:38am PDT
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breaking updates on twitter, abc7 news bay area and tomorrow morning on abc7 news beginning at 4:30 in the morning. >> i'm dan ashley. >> i'm >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- tom arnold. from "game of thrones," maisie williams. and music from saint motel. with cleto and the cletones. and now, here's jimmy kimmel! snoelt ♪
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[cheers and applause] >> jimmy: nangs y >> jimmy: thank you for watching, thank you for coming. how many of you have been watching the college men's basketball tournament over the weekend? [ applause ] and how many are participating in an office pool? [cheers and applause] now of those participating in a pool at your office, how many filled out more than one pool sheet? more than one. shame on you and you and you. to me, this is unacceptable. the point of an office pool, i think, is to see who in the office can pick the most winners. it's not to make money from people you share a cubicle with. we have some people at our office, i found this out today,
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who filled out three pool sheets. one of them, and i won't say his name, but it's patrick frie right now he had villanova to beat kentucky. then he had kentucky to beat villanova. this guy's all over the place. unfortunately, villanova is out, which means patrick is out too. and i'm glad he is, because some of these people fill out three sheets. one of them, on the sheets they come in like 40th. the other they come in 46th. and with the third sheet they win, and they're like, i won, i knew it. and -- [ laughter ] this is patrick by the way. he is a big [cheers and applause] happy, self effacing bracket hoarding, collar-flipping yellow peep. that's a recent photograph.
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i think if you want to submit more than one bracket each additional bracket should double in cost. and a $10 pool, the second one should be $20, third one doubles from there. this isn't the lot owe. it's an office pool. it's supposed to be fun. you know who also bought multiple brackets in our office pool? guillermo, do you know who that was? >> i bought two. >> jimmy: yeah, you bought two. >> yeah. >> jimmy: why did you do this is this. >> i don't know. i just want to have fun and play the game. >> jimmy: guillermo is in 31st place with one of his brackets and 40th in the other. that's called karma, guillermo, you know that. >> patrick told me to do that. >> jimmy: patrick o son of a -- in real single elimination tournament news, enough with this basketball. last night on dancing with the
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stars, i don't know if you've been watching this season, but redfoo was the first contestant of the season to be sent home. redfoo, anybody know him? he was part of lmfao. this is the worst thing to happen to redfoo since his parents named him red foochlt the elimination was somewhat of a surprise because redfoo and his partner got some of the highest scores. there were loud boos when tom bergeron announced he was out. maybe they weren't booing, maybe they were saying foo. maybe he'll be ain't to get back to the musical equivalent of drowning i
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it's always important to shoot video of everything. >> what is this? daddy's beer? whose? oh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he must be one of those excited on the inside guys. you've got four months to work on a better reaction. in the future, kid also have video of the moment that their parents and sibling and grand parents learned they were going to be born. kids will give you an honest reaction. this is a little girl named kwath rin getting that exciting news from her dad. >> it says hello in there. a big sister's book of waiting. >> hello in there! >> you know why we got you that? >> why? >> you're going to be a big sister. >> i farted.
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[ laughter ] >> that's what they should name the baby. i farted. you know, i happen to be in the middle of a baby dilemma myself. i want an honest opinion from a third party on this. so let's go now to the wall of america. light it up. let's go see -- [cheers and applause] watching from at home, youtube can be a part of it. these are viewers from all over the country. hi, guys, how you doing? everybody okay? >> yeah! >> jimmy: raise your hands if you can hear me right now. i just want to see your hands, yes, okay, good, everybody can hear me because i need to take a quick wall poll. i would like you to weigh in on a dispute my wife and i were having while we were feeding our 8 month old daughter this morning, okay? this is the dispute. i announced that i would like our daughter's first word to be poop, okay?
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and i'm trying to convince my wife that we should do everything we can to make that happen. i figure if it's the only word we ever use in front of her, that will be the first word she says, but my wife disagrees. she thinks the baby should have a boring first word like mama or something like that, okay, which makes no sense to me. so all in favor of our daughter's first word being poop, raise your hands right now. see, i got one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight out of 12, and okay. now the boring people who think it should be mama, raise your hands. we've got one, two, three. i think you voted both ways, dante. all right, well, you know what, america has voted. thank you, wall people. [cheers and applause] i just, see, i want to put our daughter on an early path to
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success. and then i'm sorry my wife is getting in the way of that, i really am. meanwhile, anybody from colorado? [cheers and applause] stoners! state of colorado, recreational use of marijuana is legal there. so they did some tests. colorado pot now is twice as potent as the pot you used to get. it used to have a below 10%. sometimes it gets up to 30%. watch out, colorado's going to get the munchies and eat you. it may, people may realize we're a mass of rainbows and love. but legalized marijuana has been
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a big boon to the state economy and the governor spoke about this tricky, icky ♪ >> wa >>. >> jimmy: wait a minute, that's governor hickenlooper? who does his hair? most television shows here in california tape on what is kaled the studio lot. it's a big, secure, compound i'd say, where dozens of shows are taped at the same time. but ours is different because we're right on hollywood boulevard. and there's always something strange going on, so much so that especially people who work at our show have become desensitized to the kraszyness. so from time to time we like to set up a very odd scenario to see how long it will take a passerby to notice, interact and maybe even help. today we filled a 5-gallon
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[ dinging noise ] >> i'll do it too. [ applause ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: i like the handshake at the end. [ applause ] all right, so, for the next one, we upped the stakes a little. we had a man dive head first into a trash can and act like he was stuck in the trash can. let's see how long before someone comes to his rescue. ♪
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[cheers and applause] ♪ >> jimmy: tonight from "game of thrones," arya stark herself, maisie williams is here. maisie brought an exclusive new clip with her too. then later, a band from right here in the city of angels. their ep is called "my type," saint motel from the at&t stage. tomorrow night, mathew perry, john cena, and music from "for king and country." and thursday, we'll be joined by and hear music from
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charlie wilson. van halen, david lee roth together. they're going to be doing so many hits it will take two nights, this monday and tuesday unless they have a fight again. do you understand what i'm saying guillermo? >> yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: we have a very famous artist tonight, salmon yaro is here with us if you're interested in his, does some very, very asphalt. our first guest is a performer whose exuberance is famous. he is here tonight to explain to us exactly what his new show means, please say hello to tom
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arnold! [cheers and applause] ♪ >> you ought to be exhausted from last week. it was fun to watch. >> jimmy: oh, from austin, texas. >> i was down there. >> jimmy: how many pounds did you gain. >> honestly, the first day like six or seven. you are on the yahoo and paying your expense and you have to punish them. willie nelson and it's just -- >> jimmy: did you talk to she willie? >> we had this show and willie was like you want to come on the bus? and i know what that means, you know. and you know, i have haven't smoked pot since '89, but, you
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got to go on willie's bus. so my idea was, i kept looking at mike myers, i'm going to stay on this bus untilt literally is a bong, like it's filled, and also i think there's a -- even in the big book of aa it says except when you're on willie's bus. you know? it was a snow day. it was wonderful. >> jimmy: did you feel anything afterwards? >> i felt really good about myself. if i would have just been a pot smoker, i'd still be doing it, let me tell you right now, those people seem to be having a good time. >> jimmy: you worked in a slaughterhouse. >> i did. >> jimmy: so when you go and eat barbecue, does that bring back -- >> i know what's good. i know what's in meat. i worked at hormel for three years, and i know what's in sausage and still eat it all the time. it's good. they have really special, it's all about the sauce down there, and the meat is top quality.
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it's a wonderful place. >> jimmy: and the wood that they use and the slow cooking and all that stuff, yeah. i gained 9 pounds in ten days. >> i could feel you during the week. >> jimmy: exploding. >> some guys are exploding and i've gained and lost about 100 pounds through my life. doctoring wis will tell you tha good. i got to the hotel at 2:30 in the morning and my pickup was at 5:30. and i thought i could pretend to sleep or eat my way through. >> jimmy: you told me that your sperm count was too low to have a baby. >> that's true. >> jimmy: and then -- >> it took 25 years to get my son. 25 rounds of in-vitro fertilization with
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z so it's not weird. and the poor woman, they have to take all the hormone shots. they're the ones that suffer. at the very end, ashley and i were saying good-bye to this doctor. she was weeping, she really wanted to do this for me. and i said too bad there's not a procedure you can do on the man. when science catches up with that, i will be back in here. and he's like, there is a procedure we do on the man, and i'm like sign me up. what is if? and i had an idea. and they said we make an incision in your scrotum and pull your testicle out. and my wife's like, would of do that for me? yeah. you know it's a showboat for my old lady. now i got to come in here tomorrow and get my nut sack cut open. i knew it wouldn't work 100%. you still do that. sometimes you got to get your nut sack cut open to prove it.
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but it did work. they found one sperm and they had an egg of hers, they said oh, it will never work, and then three days later, they go oh, they're multiplying but don't get excited. we'll shoot them back up in your wife's hopper or whatever, and they're like one month later you're pregnant but don't tell anybody. i'm like this is not going to work. i've been there many times. but two, three months later, she's still pregnant and i think i'm punked. and finally, it was time to go to the hospital. i was like this is where i bust you. i know is phony. if they had had a prop baby, i didn't care whose baby it was. it didn't have to be my sperm baby. i lived next door to shaq for years, it could have been one of his. i just want a baby. so we get to the hospital, when is this facade going to fall down, i was on e.r., too.
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i know fake hospitals. everything is fine, so the baby is breach. so we're going to do a c section on your wife. you want to stand behind that curtain you don't want to watch this. i worked in a meat packing plant. i will watch this. i will never believe where that baby came from. and the baby came from my wife's belly, and he's perfect. they're counting his fingers and i made sure his testicles were descended. that happened to me. so he's perfect. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: that's great. i know you're having a lot of fun with him. >> it's great. you got this person that loves you and is happy to see you and thinks you're hilarious. and everybody needs to have one person. but he's amazing. and we do, you know, him sitting and you're such an influence on your kids, as you know. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and it's so cute. he's on the floor writing. and i'm like, this makes me feel like good, and my wife comes in
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there and points out that he's got a sharpy and he's writing on the carpet, which i didn't know was against the rules. and when i see that sharpey mark on the carpet, it makes me happy every time. it makes my wife crazy, but it makes me happy. >> jimmy: so i'm guessing you're not the strict parent. >> no. and it's funny, there were so many rules for me when i was growing up, and my wife had none. >> jimmy: look at how that went. >> and i'm always learning and i'm sincere about it. and she come noose the playroom, and she's, like, he's writing on the wall, okay. the easel's right next to the wall. it's his wall, it's his playroom. that would be okay for him to do. she goes, no that's not ok. and then he writes on the glass. >> jimmy: you don't know that it's not okay to write on the wall? >> this kid, he's amazing, and he eats a lot the first thing she says when she walk noose a room is hey, what's in his mouth. and i'm like, nothing, and oh,
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my god, he ate the whole newspaper. you got to keep an eye on these babies, they're quick. >> jimmy: tom arnold is here. we'll be right back! >> dicky: portions of jimmy kimmel live are brought to you by the 2015 ford focus. believes in "more." more to see. more to feel. ♪ more to make things really, really... interesting. ♪ the new focus. from the auto brand more people buy, and buy again. we begin withost flavorful freshly-baked-bread; tender-roasted-to-perfection- turkey-breast, genoa salami; spicy pepperoni;
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>> me, why? >> you did. >> no, he did. >> no, you did. you ran over ladarius. so put the costume back on. >> it's tainted with scandal. you might as well burn it. >> jimmy: that is "sin city saints." >> it's free. you know, they got an app there. you can watch it on apple tv or whatever. you can watch all eight episodes. the red haired guy plays a 30 year old billionaire, a tech guy that makes a billion dollars on the internet and wants to buy a professional basketball team and move into las vegas. and he's funny, because instead of wanting to play for the team like some owners we know, he wants to be the mascot. and he gets in the popemobile and accidently runs over his star player. mullen ackerman is amazing.
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>> jimmy: did you shoot it in las vegas? >> yes, we were at caesar's palace. >> jimmy: how did you like living in las vegas? >> vegas wins. i loved it, but we lived there, and then we filmed at the orleans. so it's 24-hour casino. and eventually, you start staying in your room a lot. and the exercise equipment comes up to your room because you don't leave. but it was great for us to bond. >> jimmy: you became reclusive. >> you know that thing you get when you have surgery and the big bucket so you don't have to go to the bathroom? i had that brought in. >> jimmy: you're turning into howard hughes. >> it was a w experience. >> jimmy: did the baby enjoy las vegas? >> briefly. my buddy is britney spears'
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boyfriend. he's a very nice guy. it's going to work out. he's very nice. >> jimmy: and who would know better than you. >> exactly. they said we're going to take the kids to see dolphins, and it's some kind of weird -- >> jimmy: out in mandalay bay there's an aquarium. i grew up in las vegas. >> so you know. >> jimmy: oh, i know what's going on. >> and if they had a professional basketball team you would know how that would go. >> jimmy: i love that you are friendly with britney spears' boyfriend and governor schwarzenegger is a friend of yours. >> this watch, i was thinking, it's got a thing, a roulette table. he had a charity event at his house for after school home stars, and he asked me to come to kind of emcee it. it was poker, and i go, i don't play poker, he charged me $10,000 to come. >> jimmy: he did? >> and i lost first because it's so boring, and he loves watches. he's one of those dudes, oh, let
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me look at your watch, it's fabulous, and i hate that. and this is really expensive watch. and the top five guys got a watch, and i said i want a watch. and he says watches are for winners. so at the end when they put the watches on for the photo, he's like, where is the watch for the guy for the muscle department. i was at the front door going -- and i still have it. it's like a joke. i meant to give it back the following week, but it's been a couple months, i've still got it and he's like, what are you -- >> jimmy: he's still got it. "sin city saints" is available on yahoo screen now. we'll be right back. ♪ dwoip the jim doim the gle? i don't think i have any angles. hardball, huh? look, if you want me in on this, i want a piece of the action.
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>> jimmy: welcome back. maisie williams from "game of thrones" and music from saint motel are on the way. but before we get to them let's observe another round of the completely meaningless social experiment we call "how long?" this is a weird one. we dressed a guy up as a tooth and instructed him to try to brush a stranger's teeth. how long until someone lets a
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calls remind me to tell her happy anniversary.wife next time you talk to caroline, i'll remind you. oh, and remind me to get roses when i'm near any store. sure thing. remind you when you get to store. cortana, it's gonna be a great night. oh, wow! thanks for the traffic alert. i better get going. you're making me look good. thanks, cortana. you bet. ♪
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nowhere else to go. >> you have everywhere else to go. >> but wait! >> jimmy: "game of thrones" returns. please welcome maisie ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: have a seat. for me, i love the show. it's odd for me to see you dressed as a regular person. >> as a gifrl, yes, it's quite different. it's nice to meet you. >> jimmy: you probably get that often. >> people say she's dressing too old. i am nearly 18, but i look about 12. >> jimmy: what was going on in that clip? >> this is an entirely new location. and you see the doors were black and white for anybody who's read the books will know that that's
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an exciting place for her to be. >> jimmy: have you raid the books? >> i've not. but i know roughly what happens. and i google >> jimmy: why haven't you read the books? >> because the show abbreviates what's in the books. and i know if i have the whole story in my head, i would get confused. >> jimmy: so like most kids your age you're raiding the cliff notes. >> yeah, kind of. >> jimmy: that's how we cheat here in the united states. i don't know if they still do that. well, i think in is an include. the cover of "entertainment weekly." [cheers and applause] and you are all dressed up nice. is this costume, was this specifically for the photo shoot, or is this a costume from the show? >> this is a costume from the show. i haven't had a new costume
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since episode three series one. and now we're in series five. >> jimmy: pretending to be a boy as much as you can. >> exactly. so it was wonderful when they said we're bringing you in for a costume fitting. and i'm like, i'm getting something new? you're getting two! i haven't had a shower, so it's been disgusting. >> jimmy: this is unbelievable. many people get, not many people, but some people get to meet the queen, but rarely does the queen come to your set to meet you. >> i know, yeah. >> jimmy: and this is, you guys all cleaned up for the visit from the queen. and i have one picture with the queen, and we can't even see your head. >> well, i always part it on this side, and tonight it's perfect. but had you been on that side, this is all you would see. all the photos, for all the photos you can see this hair, and i look like wednesday adams. >> jimmy: and the queen has,
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seems to be a birthday cake on her head. [ laughter ] >> someone was next to me, and she comes in, and it's just like, she's yellow, yes, ma she's wearing yellow. >> jimmy: did you speak to the queen? >> we had a thing before, about how you should be and what you should say. she has a lot of people to go through and she's shaken everyone's hand. so she came up to me. and she puts her hand out first and then you take it. and she shoves your hand away. so when she shakes your hand, so you know when to let go. >> jimmy: really. >> people like this, it's very nice to meet you. >> jimmy: right. >> so she know when is to let you go. >> jimmy: she tosses you and casts you -- >> get off of me. >> jimmy: into the dungeon. and i was like, waiting for her to go on to sophie, and she said what do you do?
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and in my head, you're not supposed to be talking to me, why are you still here, so i had a three-second conversation with the queen, and i said i work on the show, but i kind of gave her the toned down version of my character. the aur yaw from season one. she's a bit of a tomboy. and i didn't go into the throat stabbing. >> jimmy: the slashing and the stuff with the hound and all that. >> the more recent seasons. >> jimmy: that's probably wise on your part. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how old were you when you were on first on the show? >> i was 12. and now i don't feel like i'm old enough to watch the show. >> jimmy: i don't think i'm old enough sometimes to watch the show. >> we used to watch it with my nan and my auntie and my cousins and my dogs. >> jimmy: oh, dogs can't watch that. >> everyone, but even my nan, my mom was a bit, like, i don't
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think you're old enough to watch this, and she's like 87. i don't think you're ever old enough to watch "game of thrones." >> jimmy: does she like it? >> i think she does. she's quite hard seeing. >> jimmy: i see. >> and then mom used to, every time there was a pair of boobs on the screen, mom would fill up her drink. have another gin, mum. >> jimmy: was it hard to learn to use the sword? because you do use the sword very well and i assume that's you doing that, not a stunt person? >> i like to do as much of it as possible myself. it's always disappointing when you sit with your friends, and they say that was really cool and you say oh, that was actually someone else. so i like to do as much as i can by myself. but when i first got the role i started to read a lot on the internet.
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there was a massive following on the books, and i read that my character was written left-handed. and the founder was so diehard and i wonder if maisie's going to do it. she's only 12, so she probably won't. >> jimmy: so you learned. >> and i started sword fighting left-handed. >> jimmy: that's what rocky did, only the reverse of that in the second rocky movie. so in a way, you're like a young sylvester stallone. >> i've had that before. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: very good to meet you. i can't wait for the new season. it's season five of "game of thrones." it premiers sunday april 12. we'll be back with saints hotel. >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by at&t, mobilizing your world.
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pack inspection station, just got to take a quick look in your bag. a tape measure? yeah. hiking? a tape measure? just in case. in case what? you can measure out the distance you've hiked but there's got to be a better way. i mean. stick to simple. nuts. seeds. sweetness. new nature valley nut crisp bars. boom. delicious. >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by at&t, mobilizing your world. >> jimmy: i want to thank tom arnold, maisie williams and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time.
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♪ i'm a man who's got very specific taste ♪ you're you're you're just my type ♪ ♪ you got a pulse and you are breathing you're you're you're just my type ♪ ♪ i think it's time that we get leaving you're you're you're just my type ♪ ♪ when there's loving in the air don't fight it just keep breathing ♪ ♪ i can't help myself but stare double check for double meanings ♪ ♪ i'm a man who's got very specific taste ♪ you're you're you're just my type ♪
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♪ ♪ oh, my love, ♪ i know i'm a cold, col ♪ compliments or public displayed affections but baby don't you go ♪ ♪ overanalyze no need to theorize i can put your doubts to rest ♪ ♪ you're the only one worth seeing the only place worth being ♪ ♪ the only bed worth sleeping's the one right next to you ♪ ♪ you're the only one worth seeing the only place worth being ♪ ♪ the only bed worth sleeping's the one right next to you ♪
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♪ oh my love i know you're used to desperate men this is "nightline." tonight, tragedy in the alps. no one's believed to have survived the impact when a germanwings plane with 150 on board crashed into a mountain side. as families grieve for those lost, the degs pratt search for answers begins. what will the wreckage and the black box tell us about what went wrong. diary of a star. the angelina jolie's chosen another preventive cancer surgery. how the director is staying strong after entering early menopause. and the x-files
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