i'm dan ashley. >> i'm ama daetz. >> thanks for joining us. now on "jimmy kimmel live", julie >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- julie bowen. from "pitch perfect 2", adam devine. and music from imagine dragons. with cleto and the cletones. and now, like jimmy kimmel! ♪

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: cinco de [ speaking in spanish ] >> jimmy: it's so freeing to be able to speak in my native tongue at long last.

[ cheers and applause ] english only, i'd like to wish you a happy cinco de an entirely different thing. mexican independence day is the one on september 16th. this is the one celebrated by drunk white people here. [ cheers and applause ] we've got a whole audience full of drunk white people. [ cheers and applause ] guillermo, correct me if i'm wrong, it actually commemorates the mexican army's victory over the french on may 5th, 1862. i was thinking about it today. hard to envision the french and mexican people fighting each other now, isn't it? i don't see that ever happening

again. have you been celebrating? >> of course, jimmy, yeah. >> jimmy: i ask because you're standing upright. usually by this time -- >> it's okay. >> jimmy: do you have a designated person to carry you home tonight? >> yeah, my assistant. >> jimmy: what's your assista assistant's name? >> joey. >> jimmy: i thought joey was my assistant. we share an assistant now i guess. is your wife okay with you drinking -- i know normally she does not like you to drink. is she okay with you drinking on a holiday? >> she doesn't care. as long as i bring the money home. >> jimmy: oh, is that right? all right. she also doesn't watch the show, so it works out. this is an unbelievable piece of video. this happened today on "the

price is right." i promise you this is real. we did nothing to alter the tape here. >> welcome to the show. nice to see you. >> i'm so excited right now. >> i thought you'd never get up here. you were close a couple times. george, what have we got for her? >> we've got a treadmill and a new sauna. >> jimmy: you have -- have anything else? the price is right, but the prize is entirely wrong. by the way, she won the sauna and the treadmill, which is terrible. at least she has a reason for not using her treadmill. i have no excuse at all. you think anyone ever keeps these gifts or do they go right on craigslist?

anyway, she's going to be here tomorrow night. we contacted her. i guess we'll find out what the hell happened, huh? speaking of dumb, microsoft just made an important anountsment. they're going to include middle finger emojis. there are six in six different skin colors. finally dr. martin luther king's dream has been realized. this is what they look like. you guys see this here, but at home, they're looking at blurs because our standards and practices people here at abc say we can't show this on tv. so we have to blur the fingers. ke can't show you the middle finger at home, but what i can show you is these upside down ice cream bar emojis.

this is totally different. these are offensive, these are not offensive. why is one of the skin colors gray, by the way? somebody can curse you from the grave? this is from the cardinals/cubs game yesterday. major league baseball is always trying to come up with ways to make the game more exciting. this fan tried to help them and they arrested him for it. >> holy [ bleep ]. [ cheering ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: all right. fun's over. let's get back to three and a half hours of foul balls and bunting. last night at the metropolitan museum of art in new york, the

biggest stars in all the universe got all dressed up. it's an annual fun raising event. as usual, it was a parade of very silly outfits. probably the most talked about dress was rihanna's dress. she wore this yellow embroide d embroidered, i don't know, bedspread that required several men to manage it. here's another angle. you can see, it's very, very fancy. i guess she must have been been able to get her money back from the individual who owed it to her. you know that song? anyway. here's sarah jessica parker who looks very indy car. solange, she didn't want to get in a fight with her brother-in-law this year, so she wore a dress that makes it impossible to move her arms past her torso. there's chris jenner blending in

with the carpet. lady gaga. this is actually one of her more normal -- she could wear this to cvs. here's anne hathaway. if cp3o became a jedi, he would wear something like they look like the scary little girls who kill you. jennifer lopez and beyonce were -- let's be honest, they're naked. on the red carpet, it's funny to imagine them eating dinner like that. everyone had a good time at the thing. kim kardashian and kanye west were there. no one had a better time than kanye. he had a blast. [ applause ]

back to rihanna's dress. this is the one everyone was talking about today. they say this was the big winner of the night. you wonder why the designers go to such great lengths to make them because you never see them for sale anywhere. you think they'd want to manufacture it and sell it. but they rarely do until now. the dress was designed by a chinese designer. and one thing about the chinese, they know how to get products made and onto the shelf here in america. >> if you loved it on rihanna, now own it at home. from the makers of the snuggie comes the rihanket. it's a dress. it's a coat, it's a blanket, it's a tent. it mops, it dusts. who needs strollers. save a jumper from a fire. jewish wedding. base jumper. yes, it truly does it all. act now and you'll also receive

the tiny piece of cloth kim kardashian wore as a free bonus. it's a dress, it's a doily. don't delay. just four easy payments of $29,999.99. >> available at walgreens. we have to take a break. when we come back, we're going to fire up the wall of america. do we have the wall of america? all these people behind us, they have stuff they're going to show us and tell us about. it's going to be an adult version of show and tell when we come back. so stick around. we'll be right back. vo: after years of being treated like she was invisible,

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>> jimmy: welcome back. devine and music from imagine dragons is on the way. first, it's time for show and tell. these people are watching us live. where are the people? they're watching us live from their homes on the wall of america. we got folks from all other the country. you see georgia, denver, lake forest, philadelphia, sacramento, austin, texas, and syracuse, new york. hello, everybody. how you guys doing? >> all right. >> great. >> jimmy: are you ready for show and tell? >> yeah. >> we're ready. >> jimmy: i don't even want to know what's happening here, by the way. all right. let's start with you in the bottom corner, from fort myers

florida, am i saying your name right? >> yes. >> jimmy: what do you do for a living? >> i'm an' that technician. >> jimmy: you do facials and that sort of thing? >> facials and waxing. >> jimmy: i bet you see all kinds of weird kind of gross stuff, don't you? >> every day. >> jimmy: is it a satisfying thing when you really pop a good one? >> it's the best. that's why i got into this job. >> jimmy: i found there are two kinds of people, people who love that and people who find it to be completely repulsive. i happen to be one of the people that love that kind of stuff. if one of my kids has a zit in their ear, i will tackle them, force them to the ground and squeeze it as hard as i have to. >> i get paid for doing it. >> jimmy: they won't pay me.

sometimes i go in their draws and take their money. you have something you want to show us for show and tell? >> i do. my parents made me this shirt. for walking to school. my sister and i go, she made -- >> jimmy: when you were a kid? >> yes. we were -- when i was in kindergarten. here's the front and the back and they put my name on the front. that's just in case we got lost walking to school. we had to wear it a whole week. >> jimmy: well, a stranger danger was not a phrase your parents were aware of, i guess. >> not back in those days. >> jimmy: first name would not have been enough for your parents? >> i guess not. >> jimmy: is that still their telephone number, by the way? >> no, it isn't. it was our phone number for 20 years, though. in virginia. >> jimmy: someone is going to

get a lot of prank calls tonight then. >> it was the dolittles number for 20 years. >> jimmy: do you think you could still fit into that shirt? >> i could try. >> jimmy: you get off camera and fit into the shirt. we'll come back to you hedron. next up, let's go to -- gregory. gregory. >> what's up? >> jimmy: what's that on the wall in the back? is that your bedroom? >> yeah, man. i have -- [ inaudible ] >> jimmy: is that goodfellas or god father behind you? >> it's the whole crew. >> jimmy: okay. >> we got them all. >> jimmy: all right. i love the contrast of your bedspread next to the animal heads and motorcycle jackets. it really is quite a mix.

you've got a pink elephant and flowers and everything. >> it's the jacket of my life. >> jimmy: what do you want to show us, gregory? >> well, every cinco de >> jimmy: what is that? >> he comes out for drinks. >> jimmy: is that a stuffed animal of some kind? >> yeah. i put it back together a little bit. >> jimmy: what the hell is it? >> it's a mongoose. >> jimmy: that's not a mongoose. >> yes, it is. >> jimmy: what kind of radioactive mongoose is that? all right. gregory. thank you, gregory. who else -- let's go to --

corner to buy ron. yes, byron. he's waiting patiently from syracuse, new york. hello. >> how are you? >> jimmy: if i was going to go on air, i think i prefer yours to gregorys. >> thank you. i think i would too. >> jimmy: what do you want to show us? >> i have this piece of paper. >> jimmy: let me read this. the widest tongue -- >> the widest tongue in the world. >> jimmy: oh, you have the widest tongue in the world. >> would you like to see it? >> jimmy: yes, of course we want to see it. that is the widest -- oh my goodness. >> and i have something else for you. >> jimmy: really? how are you able to speak? oh, you've got a little girl. >> i have a little girl. and look what she has.

>> jimmy: oh, you have the widest female tongue in the world? let's see yours. oh, my gosh. you must be so proud. >> in order to see the size right, you have to see a normal-sized tongue in comparison. going to embarrass my wife here. >> jimmy: let's see your tiny little normal tongue. [ laughter ] wow. how long does it take you guys to eat an ice cream cone? >> about six seconds. >> jimmy: can you taste when a storm is coming with a tongue like that? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's pretty great. i don't know that we're going to be able to top that. thanks to the whole family. i'd love -- if you guys could help me around christmastime, i have a lot of stamps that need to be licked.

>> we could use the extra money. >> jimmy: thank you, guys. let's go right -- let's see hedron in that outfit. >> i can only get -- >> jimmy: you can only get it over your head? >> yeah. >> jimmy: if only there was someone with a giant tongue to lube you up. oh, that's you as a kid. >> that's my sister and i. she had the same shirt, too. >> jimmy: wow, your parents are sure weird. >> they are. >> jimmy: thanks to everyone on the wall. >> thank you. >> jimmy: if you want to be part of the wall, go to jimmykim llive.com. if you have a bigger tongue than that, we'd love to see you too. >> jimmy: tonight on the show, music from imagine dragons. adam devine is here and we'll be right back with julie bowen. so stick around. [ applause ]

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>> jimmy: tonight from "workaholics," "modern family," and "pitch perfect 2," adam devine is here. then later from las vegas, nevada, their new album is called - "smoke and mirrors," imagine dragons from the at&t outdoor stage. you can see them on tour this summer starting june 3rd in portland, oregon. tomorrow night adam levine will be with us, nicholas hoult will be here, we'll have music from

maroon 5. and thursday, jason schwartzman, hailee steinfeld, and music from the killers lead singer brandon flowers. >> jimmy: our first guest is an exceptionally talented actress who is more fun than a piñata filled with smaller piñatas. she plays claire dunphy on "modern family." watch it wednesdays at 9:00 here on abc. please welcome julie bowen. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you look great. you smell great too. >> i do? >> jimmy: tell me about this dress. >> it's a back substantial -- they called it a kardashian dress. i don't know what that means.

talked about her butt. >> jimmy: about kim kardashian's butt? >> i love her butt. i want a sea of it. i love it. >> jimmy: i bet she'd let you ski off it. do you think she'd let you touch it? >> i have stood next to her, this happens to me when i see somebody really famous and i don't really want to see them, see them. i want a screen between us. >> jimmy: okay. >> like i'm at a basketball game. i don't want them to see me staring at them. i want to stare. i want to be like, and now turn it, kim, now shake it, now move it. but i don't want her to see me. i want to accidentally fall and grab it. >> jimmy: just to see what's going on? >> i want to see what that is. and she's a mom. it's inhuman.

she might actually still have a baby in there. >> jimmy: my daughter is 9 months old. she likes to touch everything. >> that's how they learn. >> jimmy: you can just tell her it's a learning experience. >> i do. i'm a very tactile learner. i also learn from touching and smelling and tating. so if you don't mind -- >> jimmy: you've been tweeting about the clippers a lot. >> yes, i have been. i am such a huge clippers fan. >> jimmy: are you really? >> why don't you believe me? because i'm a girl? >> jimmy: because they're the clippers, number one. they're a great team now and all that stuff. >> i'm not fancy, but i have some fancy friends. >> jimmy: you're a little bit fancy. >> no, no. i'm so not fancy. but -- >> jimmy: you're wearing a kardashian dress. >> but i got it at like rent the runway. it's going back at midnight. theirs was hand crafted by

gnomes. it's really hard. deandre can't -- not great at the line. >> jimmy: he's a bad free throw shooter. he knows. he sees the ball not going in over and over again. >> so i'm sitting there -- i've got seats right behind the announcer table where they come and check in and check out. and they do the magic mike carroway. i'm a fan of that. yes, do it again. he checks in. he's going in. you know he's going to get fouled. he's going to have to do the free throws. he's very nervous. i forget that i'm there. i'm like, you've got this! you have got this, dejanuary dra. and he's like -- looks at me horrified. >> jimmy: oh, he does.

>> he goes. he looks like, oh, my god i can't believe this woman and i got to go in now and do this. with nice seats like that, show some class. >> jimmy: no, you're doing the right thing. it's okay. you're being encouraging. >> i was supportive. i promise that if i get to go back to a game and get those seats again, i'm going to wear shirts -- like layers of them that say things like, you've got this, you've got it. i just -- that was a '90s reference. >> jimmy: if that. >> i love basketball. >> jimmy: you love basketball. you know, there's a photograph of you at the game. you do seem to be loving the basketball hereecause you are going -- >> look at me. >> jimmy: get in closer on that. [ cheers and applause ] >> i look like -- oh, i look

like an amateur porn actor. i don't look good there. that's not a great look for me. but i'm not fancy. so when i get my own tickets, they're sort of far, far away. >> jimmy: you don't want to pay $2,000 to see the clippers break your heart. the lakers are one thing. >> now, the lakers -- can i tell you a lakers story? >> jimmy: yeah. tell me a lakers story. >> if somebody's -- you've sat court side. >> jimmy: no, i actually never have. you feel bad for me? >> i'm -- i got these -- i watch like the devil fight muhammad courtside. >> jimmy: it's fun, right. >> it's so great. i got these great tickets from a friend. so they're sort of like -- like -- there's the visiting bench and then there's the couple of seats and then there's the jack and then it goes on.

and so i got these seats. i'd never been there before without my friend, though who has them. i'd never gotten there late. when you get there early, you're like oh my god, i'm touching great greatness. you wander around and it's very casual. i got these tickets and took another friend. and we got there a little bit late into the first quarter. and i'm feeling pretty good, though. i'm walking in, the guards are like, julie, what's up. this is amazing. walk all the way down to the corner, like at the basket. and then the visitor's bench. right there at the defense attorney respectfully waiting for a time-out. and the guard -- this woman goes go ahead. >> jimmy: what did you do?

>> i walked out onto the court during the game. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, you didn't. >> in front of the golden state warriors. stephen curry was not playing that night. i was coming out this way. he's in a suit. i'm like, hey, hey -- and i sat down. i was like, who knew you could do that. they were doing free throws down at the other end. i guess you can do this. >> jimmy: no, you can't do that. >> i know! >> jimmy: didn't anyone say anything? >> there was a guard, came up at the end of the quarter and says, julie, i had to stop people from physically removing you. don't ever do that again. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> the woman sitting next to me says i can't believe they let you sit here after that [ bleep ] move. >> jimmy: wow. julie bowen is here. we'll be right back.

stay in your seat. you're not allowed to move around. we'll be right back. ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is brought to you by at&t. mobilizing your world.

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this is crazy. we can't just celebrate this moment? >> it's the end of their senior year. they should be off celebrating,

playing hooky. going to the lake house to go skinny dipping. >> jimmy: that is "modern family." julie bowen. >> you guys have been on -- how many seasons? >> not nearly enough. six. >> jimmy: we still never miss an episode at my house. >> thank you. >> jimmy: how's your real family doing? >> right now we're on hiatus. >> jimmy: from your real family? >> hiatus from my fake family. i'm on hiatus with my real family. >> jimmy: that makes more sense. >> i brought you some pictures. >> jimmy: what is going on here super. >> i have three kids. that's also some other kids. my three with some others. we did a lemonade stand to raise money for the victims in nepal. [ applause ] >> jimmy: there's you.

>> these are not this year's shorts that i'm wearing right there. my kids worked really hard. they literally squeezed 160 lemons. we made lemonade. we set up the entire day before. made agave and sugar lemonade. it's l.a. and we set up and did it and i was so proud of my kids. they worked so hard. after like two hours, long time in the life of a 5-year-old. >> jimmy: sure. >> this is boring. was like, hang in there. dad had gone to get food. i've got this -- they were supposed to come back. they left me alone in a canyon at the base of a very busy hiking trail. and now i'm -- i'm an adult. a grownup who -- whose salary

you can google asking for money selling lemonade. they did not come back. >> jimmy: they never came back? >> they finally came back. a friend of mine -- this is a very popular hiking spot. he took this picture. there i am. i'm sort of alone. [ laughter ] one woman tries it, she's like i'll try the agave. i think what is it that bad. she goes, claire. but, yes, it's my kids, i swear. i needed those kids back down there for cover. i went from doing something good for the world to get down here and stop making me look bad! >> jimmy: julie bowen! "modern family" airs wednesdays at 9:00 pm here on abc. thank you, julie. we'll be back with adam devine. we'll be right back.

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>> jimmy: you know our next guest from "workaholics", "adam devine's house party," he plays the manny that is not "manny" on "modern family" and, beginning may 15th he is back as "bumper" in "pitch perfect 2." please say hello to adam devine. [ cheers and applause ] >> how are you? happy cinco de mayo. i figured i might as well bring you a treat. >> jimmy: that's nice. >> i'm such a big fan of yours and also your past work, the man

show. when i was a younger man in high school, weirdly i was 21 in high school so it wasn't illegal. we would do that. >> jimmy: oh, you would. do you -- you even know the proper way to do it. >> would you like to -- >> jimmy: i would be happy to do it with you. >> teach me the way. >> jimmy: first of all, we toast. and then we put our hand over the -- like this. then you say -- >> wait. okay. >> jimmy: ziggy, zocky, zocky, oy, oy, oy. >> do it all over. >> jimmy: i got a little on my tie. there's no way to do it neatly. how are you doing?

>> that was good. >> jimmy: get us another round, would you? do you usually drink at work? >> i'm an alcoholic. >> jimmy: are you? >> i practiced with 11 beers back stage. i wanted to get this right. i have called in drunk on accident before. >> jimmy: what does that mean? >> have you guys ever done that? i used to work at the hollywood improv comedy club. i was 21. >> jimmy: when you were in high school. >> yeah, when i was in high school. sophomore year. elementary school was rough. hold him back. one more. so i worked there. i was the door guy there. i called in one day. i was like, hey, guys, i'm not feeling very well. they're like, what do you have. and i'm like, i'm drunk. then i immediately go, sick! they didn't fire me. >> jimmy: it's a comedy club.

you could claim you were kidding. do you ever go back there and see those people that you worked for? >> yeah, i go back a lot. i kiss them and i say, i'm blessing you with my presence. i'm so grateful for them that they never fired me. because i was -- i was a door guy. >> jimmy: oh, you were. like a bouncer? >> yeah. >> jimmy: really? why? >> it was like they were doing a bit on themselves. ha, joke's on us. what are you going to do about it. good point. what am i going to do? >> jimmy: you check people's ids. i would check your id. >> i looked like i was 12. i was the worst door guy because they -- i sympathized with people with fake ids. >> jimmy: right. >> and it wasn't just a normal door guy, like you're a cute

girl and you're 20, come on in. that's my door guy impression. and -- but i've been -- anyone. it was like with the dudes, i really related to them. come in, buddy. you got this. have some fun. >> jimmy: you lucky the place is still open. >> i'm so lucky. they really didn't fire me when i finally quit because i got a taco bell commercial. i'm like my career's doing this! [ laughter ] so i got a commercial and i quit. they were like, oh, thank god. you were the worst door guy we've had. >> jimmy: this is the best door guy right here. [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: very rare for him to remember to come back when i send him for a drink.

>> over there with two beers. >> jimmy: i go back, hey, what happened to those beers. he's like, oh, sorry. >> who are you again? >> jimmy: i want to give a toast to your career, your taco bell commercial. you have so many shows you're on. >> i feel like i'm tricking everyone. >> jimmy: no sipping is allowed. >> we're going to do it again? >> jimmy: first i'm going to mention that pitch perfect 2 opened on may 15th. it's very funny. when we come back, we're going to have music from imagine dragons. before that -- ziggy, zaggy, oy, oy, oy! [ cheers and applause ]

>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t, mobilizing your world.

ooo come on everybody, i think this is my grandson. [lip syncing] ♪little girl you look so lonesome oh my goodness. ♪i see you are feeling blue ♪come on over to my place ♪hey girl ♪we're having a party happy birthday, grandma! ♪we'll be swinging ♪dancing and singing ♪baby come on over tonight >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is

presented by at&t, mobilizing your world. >> jimmy: i want to thank julie bowen, adam devine. "nightline" is next. first, the album is called smoke and mirrors. first ever national concert day with timagine dragons. ♪ am i out of touch am i out of my place ♪ ♪ when i keep saying that i'm looking for an empty space ♪ ♪ oh i'm wishing you're here but i'm wishing you're gone i can't have you and i'm only gonna do you wrong ♪ ♪ oh i'm going to mess this up oh this is

just my luck over and over and over again ♪ ♪ i'm sorry for everything oh everything i've done from the second that i was born it seems i had a loaded gun ♪ ♪ and then i shot shot shot a hole through everything i loved ♪ ♪ oh i shot shot shot a hole through every single thing that i loved ♪ ♪ am i out of luck am i waiting to break ♪ ♪ when i keep saying that i'm looking for a way to escape ♪ ♪ oh i'm wishing i had what i'd taken for granted i can't help you when i'm only gonna do you wrong ♪ ♪ oh i'm going to mess this up oh this is just my luck over and over and over again ♪

♪ i'm sorry for everything oh everything i've done from the second that i was born it seems i had a loaded gun ♪ ♪ and then i shot shot shot a hole through everything i loved ♪ ♪ oh i shot shot shot a hole through every single thing that i loved ♪ ♪ in the meantime can we let it go at the roadside that we used to know ♪ ♪ we can let this drift away oh we let this drift away at the bayside where you used to show in the ♪ ♪ moonlight where we let it go we can let this drift away oh we let this drift away ♪ ♪ and there's always time to change your mind oh there's always time to change your mind ♪ ♪ oh love can you hear me oh let it drift away ♪ ♪ i'm sorry for everything oh everything i've done from the second that i was born it seems i had a loaded gun ♪

♪ and then i shot shot shot a hole through everything i loved ♪ ♪ oh i shot shot shot a hole through every single thing that i loved ♪ ♪ in the meantime can we let it go at the roadside that we used to know ♪ ♪ we can let this drift away oh we let this drift away at the bayside where you used to show in the ♪ ♪ moonlight where we let it go we can let this drift away oh we let this drift away ♪ ♪ and there's always time to change your mind oh there's always time to change your mind ♪ ♪ oh love can you hear me oh let it drift away ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

this is "nightline." tonight, the young woman who allegedly takes that revenge is a dish best served cold thing literally. look at this. college student accused of poisoning her friend's food and she's not the only one. tonight, these roommates from hell will have you watching your back. she's more than just a pretty face. tomorrow, we're with a rising star in the ring, this olympic hopeful tells us how boxing turned her life around. and daddy girl. kendall jenner finally opening