tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC June 3, 2015 11:35pm-12:38am PDT
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everybody. i'm larry beil in for dan ashley. >> for sandhya and all of us here, thank you for joining us. ♪oming >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight jennifer connelly. director judd apatow. director judd apatow. the 2015 school scrabble champs. and music from twenty one pilots. with cleto and the cletones. and now, stay put, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪
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>> hi everyone thank you for coming. thank you for kicking off your holiday weekend with me and my television friends, you know memorial day weekend is here. a day which we remember and give thanks to those who serve this country. according to aaa, a lot of people are traveling. if you are planning to go anywhere for memorial day, you are too late. you have had to left yesterday morning. so sorry. you know the big difference between memorial day now and memorial day when i was a kid is? kids don't get stuck in the third row of the station wagon anymore because everyone has an suv now. my parents -- now they are so careful with their grand kids. for us, back then, safety was not a concern. we'd be packed, not even the seats but the back of the car where the luggage goes like chickens in a third world country. my face would be pressed against the rear window.
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every inch was filled with cousins and siblings. my little brother, my parents would stuff him in the exhaust pipe all the way to disneyland. now kids are in seats. they say because gas prices are so low 37 million americans will travel this weekend. the most in ten years. it might be a good idea to stay home. if you are hosting a barbecue for memorial day and sometimes the guest will bring a single veggie patty to throw on the grill for them, it is our obligation as an american citizen to kick them out of your home. [ applause ] memorial day is the official start to summer. it used be s'mores were only something you get around the campfire.
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i invented something the summer before last. instead of graham crackers i put marshmallow and hershey bar on an oreo and melted it over the fire and named them smoreos. and i was delighted with myself, as you can imagine and then someone told me they have s'mores flavored oreos. which they don't call them s'moreos which is smoronic. it is to summer what pumpkin spice is to the holidays. so many s'mores flavored foods out there. there are s'mores flavored graham crackers, s'mores goldfish from the friendly stoners of pepperidge farms. kellogg's has a s'mores flavored cereal which is not part of a balanced breakfast. ben & jerry's has an ice cream
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named s'mores. frappichino, pop tarts, luna bars and now s'mores vodka. this is for real. [ cheers and applause ] for the drunk camp counselor in all of us. s'mores are everywhere, which is why we are becoming s'morebidly obese. i usually don't eat desserts with an apostrophe in them but i make an exception for s'mores. last weekend i had a crawfish broil at my house. my daughter graduated from college and wanted a crawl fish boil. i ordered live crawfish from louisiana. if you haven't seen one alive, depending on your point of view, they look like tiny lobsters or great big bugs, depending on your point of view. a lot of people at the party were scared of them. especially my aunt chippy. she hated them. after the party i sent some home with my cousin eric to put in her purse. i had a couple still alive. he didn't put them in her purse.
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he put them under a plate when she was making breakfast the next morning and here's how that went. >> so we have a mickey mouse -- >> what's? here. [ screaming ] [ screaming ] >> that's disgusting, disgusting. you should burn in hell. you and jimmy. oh! >> what happened? >> good morning. >> let's go see. wanna see? >> make your own [ bleep ] eggs. >> hello, buddy.
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>> i can't believe you did this. >> oh! >> here we go. [ crying ] >> get out of here. i swear to christ i'm going to kill you, eric. why would you do that to me? >> i'm a nice crab. i don't understand. [ bleep ] [ bleep ] [ cheers and applause ] >> that worked out pretty good. >> jimmy: worked out very well. kid learns new curse words he took the crawfish to the park and released them. in like a little pond. they still want to kill each other but there you go. if it was up to me i would have released them in aunt chippy's bed. so -- we have fun, i think, is the moral to that story. we have a tradition on our show.
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every year we invite the winners of the north american school scrabble championship to hollywood to face off against one of the great scrabble playing talk show hosts in history -- that's me. this year the school scrabble champs are 13-year-old noah kalus from new york and zach ansell from l.a. i get to two crush two cities at once. zach and noah won their title on sunday and they made a special video for me. >> i'm zachary. >> i'm noah. we're the east west word winners. >> how do you spell kimmel? >> l-o-s-e-r. >> yeah, i believe that's right. you can't spell, jimmy. any last words, kimmel? >> jimmy: you little punks. you are dead. i will tell you now. my partner will be guillermo. did you read the scrabble dictionary like i asked you to? >> guillermo: a little bit. >> jimmy: all right.
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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. tonight on the show, music from twenty one pilots, judd apatow . but first it is time for the eighth annual championship battle. let's meet our scrabblers. my opponents are 11-year-old zach kalus from l.a. and 13-year-old noah ansell. how are you doing? what happened to your arm? what happened here? >> i broke it lifting my trophy. >> jimmy: oh.
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these young gentlemen defeated 55 teams from the united states and canada on sunday. tonight, you have a greater opponent -- me. are you ready for this? >> yes. >> jimmy: how do you know each other if one of you lives in new york and the other in l.a.? >> it is definitely on-line. we played a lot on-line. >> jimmy: on-line. you do the on-line thing. are you friends or business associates? >> i think we have grown to be good friends. >> jimmy: how wonderful. you won $10,000, true? >> yes. >> jimmy: what are you doing with that money? >> i'm buying an apple watch. >> jimmy: you are? >> oh, yeah. first thing. >> jimmy: what are you doing with the money? >> most of it is going away for college savings. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: don't encourage. the enough chitchat. let's get down to business here. let's open the curtains. let's begin this. there we go. [ cheers and applause ] hello there. how are you? thank you for coming. joining us our official judge is kevin -- what are your credentials as judge? >> i watch a lot of scrabble.
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>> jimmy: very good. that's all we need. you know this guy? is he a member of your possi? >> yes. >> jimmy: okay. well, l.a. and new york together, it is like big e. and tupac. you know what i am saying? you know who those people are? >> no. >> would you accept the word big e. on a scrabble board? >> you answer that. >> jimmy: five turns each because we don't have all night to play the game. whoever loses has to eat the tiles left in the bag. guillermo, you will be my partner. guillermo just barely speaks english. so -- >> you guys draw a tile. whoever gets closest to the letter "a" will go first. the ladies are going to go crazy for you two. cute. that's not a good one, is it guillermo? >> guillermo: not at all. >> jimmy: i got a "g." so we go first.
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>> all right. >> jimmy: sorry, fellas. i will put them back in the bag. >> are you ready to have some tiles for dinner? >> jimmy: what? >> are you ready for tiles for dinner? >> jimmy: he said are you ready for tiles for dinner. >> guillermo: we'll see. >> jimmy: very smart mouth with a boy with so many freckles. there you go. okay. all right. okay. so we got ours. you guys go ahead and take yours. let's see what do we got here, guillermo? oh, boy. we have nothing. let's see. all right. i'm going to play what we have which is -- this is what you guys are going to do, flop. all right. [ cheers and applause ] he pulls the tiles out of that bag like a monkey, doesn't he,
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guillermo? >> guillermo: yeah, smart. >> jimmy: that's not what i meant. >> jimmy: okay. >> that's 35. >> jimmy: oh, you guys got a "z." perfect. >> you have 18 and noah and zach have 35. >> jimmy: we have 18 and noah and zach have 35. so we're in the lead? i dropped a tile, guillermo. >> you are going to do great. >> jimmy: dropped the tiles. we got them? >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: all right. put them up there. all right. let's see. all right. >> guillermo: what's going on? >> jimmy: don't talk to them, guillermo. they are our opponents. >> guillermo: all right. >> jimmy: all right. i will take this over here if you don't mind. all right. good job. [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> guillermo: just like kids.
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>> jimmy: they are kids, guillermo. >> guillermo: i was talking about me. >> jimmy: you were talking about you. okay. well, we have an interesting situation here, guillermo. [ yawning ] >> jimmy: these little punks. i'll have you know i haven't wet my bed in years. actually, not true. do you have just the one eye or do you have both? >> jimmy: okay. i'm going to try -- um -- >> guillermo: i think i bring you bad luck, jimmy. >> jimmy: don't get down on yourself. >> even worse than normal. >> jimmy: i am going to say ply here but we are building toward something. what do we have? >> nine points. >> jimmy: all right.
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>> all right. >> jimmy: you know, in high school, i was known as the human thesaurus. >> i highly doubt that. >> jimmy: wow. these kids are really mean. no whispering to each other. speak aloud and let us hear what you are saying over there. oh, what a mess. >> 24 points. ♪ >> jimmy: okay. not that great. >> zach and noah, a total of 59. >> guillermo: wow, these kids are lucky. that's what they are. >> jimmy: let's see. okay. i have something.
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>> oh, that's so lucky. ♪ >> guillermo: wow. >> jimmy: beat it, boys. oh, yes, i turned that upside down. >> you need to declare what that blank represents. >> jimmy: that's an ""a." >> 25 points. >> jimmy: that's all. 52 total. >> we are still winning. >> jimmy: you have a huge pimple on your head. it's enormous. like you should name it kind of thing. >> let's see your pictures in high school. >> jimmy: what did he say? >> guillermo: let's see your
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pictures in high school. >> jimmy: oh, they are worse than you. >> figured that. >> jimmy: i played the clarinet in high school, tough guy. is that nerdy, clarinet or still cool? >> i don't know. >> in your case, no. >> jimmy: oh, my god, even the little one is ganging up on us. >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: come on, guys. what's wrong with you? >> just stop. >> we're taking less time than you. >> jimmy: guess what, it is my show. it's all my time. not your time. [ cheers and applause ] i own all of this time. look at them whispering to each other like little girls. you know? >> jimmy: oh, god. look at this.
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he has amply, med, he has pee, which they do in their pants. i have an interview to do. we'll finish this later. you know what, you better not cheat, or i will tell you what -- look at him. he's like a monkey. >> guillermo: i know. like george. we will take a break. we have a good show for you tonight. music from twenty one pilots, judd apatow is here, and we'll be right back with jennifer connelly. >> dicky: portions of jimmy kimmel live are brought to you lifetime's new series "unreal." where bad people make good tv every monday night. three hundred eleven people in this city. and only one me. ♪ i'll take those odds. ♪
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>> jimmy: all right. [ cheers and applause ] you keep an eye on these two. i'm going to do an interview. close the curtains on them. i don't want them doing anything. we're in the middle of a very important scrabble game. we have a good show for you tonight. he's one of the funniest and most prolific writers, directors, and producers there is.
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this is his new book it comes out june 16th. it is called "sick in the head." judd apatow is here. then later a very talented duo from columbus, ohio. i'm distracted. their new cd just came out this week. it's called "blurry face." twenty one pilots from the at&t outdoor stage. >> jimmy: like myself, our first guest is from brooklyn and began modeling at the age 10. she is an oscar-winner with a new movie called "aloft." >> excuse me. >> mommy! >> wait here. >> what are you doing? >> you can't go with her. >> stay there. i can get him out. >> i'll get him to fly out the way he came in.
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"aloft" opens today in new york and l.a. please say hello to jennifer connelly. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: very good to see you. >> nice to see you, too. >> jimmy: are you a scrabble player? i could use some help over there? >> i love plying scrabble. i like to play by the fire. >> jimmy: does your husband play? is he a scrabble player? he seems like a smart guy. >> there are other things he prefers to do by the fire. >> jimmy: s'mores. >> you could say s'mores, perhaps. but, yeah, we all play. >> jimmy: you do. that's nice. do the kids play, as well? >> the kids play.
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my middle son it's not his favorite game. kai, our oldest likes to play. agnes who's three likes to play but doesn't have regard for conventional rules of spelling. >> jimmy: kai's name sounds like a scrabble word to start off. are your kids punks like these two kids behind the curtain here? >> you really want to crush them. >> jimmy: yes, i do. they have a lot of attitude. i will tell you something, it's not going to serve them well in the future. [ laughter ] your movie, by the way -- i know it is a heavy film. when you do a movie that's very heavy like this, and i'll ask you to explain what it is about -- do you have a rap party or a bloopers reel at the end of it? >> i don't remember a bloopers reel. we had a wrap party. a lot of times when you make a film like that it seems a difficult subject matter, we have a great time making the movie. we had fun.
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all got along. >> jimmy: always wonder about that. because some people have to stay in character. would that mean being morose all the time and do you come out of it the minute the film is finished? >> kind of. >> jimmy: you do? >> i try to. also i have a family i want to be. no one wants someone moping around and carrying that with them the whole time. >> jimmy: tell me about it. >> right so it was a nice shoot. >> jimmy: tell us about the film itself. i want to point out it is "aloft," not a loft. >> like aloft floating in the sky. it's sort of an abstract term. it is about people trying to come to terms with the fragility of life and more specifically a family trying to repair after experiencing a tragedy that sort of changes the course of their lives forever.
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>> jimmy: is this a movie your children will see? >> no. >> jimmy: they will not whereas the avengers -- >> my husband is in the new avengers movie. >> jimmy: were they excited about that. >> it is fun that we could bring our kids to a movie premiere with us. that was great. they were very excited. agnes, as i mentioned, is 3. she is in to the idea of him being a super hero but didn't understand what it was. paul was trying to indoctrinate her and she is too young to see the movie. so he showed her "avengers" cartoons and he is thinking i'm the vision. she is like that's cool but i love iron man. he is like i'm the vision. she's like i love iron man. >> jimmy: does that make him mad? i think that would annoy me somewhat.
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>> he is like you know, daddy knows the iron man. so she is like can i send hail message. we have a video she recorded of her -- it's like she is his biggest fan. the video is i love you, i love you, iron man. i love you so much. and paul is going you love the vision, too. and she's like, i love you, iron man. really funny. >> jimmy: when you were a little girl you were in a movie. this is one of those movies when people got vhs players in their houses, all of a sudden everybody saw this movie. it is "labyrinth." how old are you? >> i think i was 14. >> jimmy: 14 years old. that's david bowie with you who looks like witchy poo. i don't know if you remember her. it is a real resemblance there. were you aware of who david bowie was at 14 years old? >> i was. i guess but not really. now there are a lot of -- we
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listen to his music a lot now. i hasn't gotten there at that point. i think i would have been paralyzed and not been able to function. >> jimmy: it would have been like meeting iron man. >> exactly. i remember i had a friend who had david bowie posters all over her walls. then she heard i was going to be going and working with him and they came down mysteriously. and that clued me in that he was cool. >> jimmy: she was being spiteful and jealous. are you still friends? >> no. we were 13. >> jimmy: that reminds me of those scrabble kids. good to see you. jennifer connelly go see her movie "aloft." it opens in new york and l.a. today. we'll be right back with the spellbinding conusion to the scrabble challenge. so stick around.
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>> jimmy: all right. we are back with the final round of the throw down with the scrabble champions. what's the score right now? >> jimmy 72 and zach and noah 89. >> jimmy: all right. they have two turns left and we only have one turn left. guillermo, you left me with the worst letters. why would you pick letters like this? >> guillermo: just unlucky.
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>> jimmy: yes, you were unlocky. all right, boys lay down your word. >> can someone help me with this? >> jimmy: what do you mean can someone help me with this? he is too small to reach it. what a shame. i guess you will have to forfeit the game. all right. here we go. oh, a "j." great start. see, that's not even a word. >> you want to challenge. >> jimmy: i know it is a word in scrabble but not in english. >> all right. i think that is 45, yeah. >> 45 points. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, what a terrible kid this is, right? what is the score now. >> zach and noah, 134 and you have 72. >> jimmy: well, gentlemen. >> you need 62 to tie and 63 to win. >> jimmy: first of all, i want to introduce jennifer who's a woman. you have probably never seen
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one. but -- look at him. like a monkey with his little sack on his back. he just pulls those tiles. but you are about to have a surprise, fellas. let's put our word down. we have one more -- >> jimmy: yes, go ahead. okay. this is a hawaiian word that means you are a couple of losers aaoiau -- how many points is that? and a bingo as well so we got 50 -- one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, 15 plus the 50 point bonus, 65 points puts you in the lead.
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>> 65 points. >> that's not a word. that's not a word. >> jimmy: you can't ask if it is a word. >> we are going to challenge. >> jimmy: wait a minute, you need to decide whether you are challenging or not. >> what's the score? >> jimmy has 137 and you have 134 with one turn remaining. >> well, we will win any way, but -- >> challenge. i know it's not. >> i'm going to go ahead and challenge that. >> jimmy: no, don't challenge it. please don't challenge it. >> because "a," the odds of it being a word are bad and the odds of them having it in the first place. >> >> jimmy: listen to the broken arm guy. >> take it off. take it off. >> jimmy: what do you mean take it off? >> there you go. >> is that challenge? >> that's a challenge. >> i will look it up. >> yeah, look it up. >> i don't remember how it is spelled. now he ruined it because we don't remember how it was spelled. these kids are cheaters. i don't like them at all. cheater number one and cheater number two with the broken arm over there.
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>> there's no word in the dictionary -- >> jimmy: to hell with the dictionary. scrabble game. gentlemen, i begrudgingly hand over the scrabble belts. jen, i'm sorry you had to be a part of this. we got you a little gift here. the microsoft surface. you can take that home and do whatever you want with it. thank you very much. well done, congratulations. we will be right back with judd apatow. ♪ >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by at&t. mobilizing your world. ♪
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the world, our next guest would have a whole aisle to himself. he's the filmmaker behind so many funny movies and the author of this book, a collection of interviews with other funny people. it's called "sick in the head." it comes out june 16th. please welcome judd apatow. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are you? >> i'm doing well. i was back there for a while. >> jimmy: yeah. >> people say my movies are long, but that was a lot of scrabble, a fair amount of scrabble. >> jimmy: we are trying to get the young people watching and they love scrabble. >> i thought you were going to pull out the game of life or something. that was a realtime scrabble game. i don't know -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> editor somewhere very nervous right now. >> jimmy: it was all worth it. apatow would be a good scrabble word. >> you would get a lot of points for. >> jimmy: thank you for coming. the book is interesting in
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general. a lot of great people you spoke to. also you started to do interviews 30 years ago when you were a kid. >> yes. >> jimmy: how did you get interviews with famous people when you were a teenager? >> i was a comedy nerd. if you want a picture of what i was like at that age, i was like the scrabble kids. whatever you want to define that as is what i was. i was slightly ambitious and little irritating and i loved comedy, i wanted to meet comedians and i would call up people's publicists and say i worked for a radio station. i didn't say it was a high school radio station, just a radio station. and show up with this enormous tape recorder and they would be disappointed. >> jimmy: this is you with the great steve allen and that is a big tape recorder. is this steve's house? >> it might be the st. regis hotel.
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that's how he knew i wasn't professional. >> jimmy: when the tape recorder is bigger than you. looks like something from the fat boys video. >> we should break dance. i loved comedians and wanted to know how they did it and i put the book together. it has all of the interviews and did more recently. i did louis c.k. and colbert and chris rock and amy schumer and if you are interested in the arts or comedy there's a lot of information in there. >> reporter: out of all the people you talked to was there one thing that stood out more than the others? >> when i was young, what they told me is it took a long time to get funny. when i was a kid, someone said it takes seven years to find myself. that helped me. i thought it is okay to be bad for a really long time. >> jimmy: which happens and has to happen. every once in a while lightning strikes and you get a teenager eddie murphy or something like that.
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but it doesn't happen frequently. >> most of us it takes over 40 to figure it out. that made me not as obsessed with making it happen in the moment. >> jimmy: it seems to have worked out. you brought some photographs of yourself -- >> tell the story. >> jimmy: yeah, tell the story before i show the photographs. go ahead. >> this story involves you. >> jimmy: it does. >> i went to see the president speak. >> jimmy: okay. >> it was the day he did mean tweets. >> jimmy: on our show. >> on your show. >> jimmy: okay. when you meet the president. it is usually a fund-raiser and you get 30 seconds to take a picture of him and you can say one thing to him. most people want to talk politics to him but i know he is depressed from talking politics and would rather talk about super bad or something like that. i tried to talk about dumb stuff. i said i'm going to talk about how your show went. >> jimmy: okay. >> so he walked over. i wanted to get a picture of him laughing.
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that was the key. >> jimmy: start with the first? >> i asked him how it went. i said how did it go with jimmy kimmel, went good, went good. i said how did the mean tweets go, we did that. and then leslie says what were the mean tweets? she forced him to do the mean tweets to us. >> jimmy: okay. >> this is him doing mean tweets to me and leslie. >> jimmy: he is thinking about what they were. >> we are forcing him to perform for us. there is one crazy mary said next time you go on a golf vacation, don't come back. then i wanted to get a picture of us laughing. i know if we are laughing in the photo it looks like we are friends in a picture of us reacting. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i don't know if it looks like you are friends. >> nobody has ever had their ass kissed harder than that right. there.
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afterwards the president says, well, what have you been doing lately and he says leslie, what have you been doing and he said i'm in a movie about how to be single and in it i make out with a 25-year-old. which is a weird thing to say to the president. it is kind of an insult to me on one level. >> jimmy: two strikes is what it is. he probably loved that. >> he was very charming. we took a picture of him. look at how comfortable my wife is with the president. she leans in, not towards me, towards him. >> jimmy: what's going on here? looks like the president is comfortable also. oh, that's her dress. >> that's her dress. >> jimmy: so your next movie is "train wreck" which is starring amy schumer. i heard -- a lot of my friends saw this movie and said it was hilarious. >> she wrote and stars in it and produced it and i directed it. it came out great. >> jimmy: this is the first
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movie you have directed that you haven't written true? >> which i like because if something is not funny, i can say amy, can you punch that up and i will take a nap. >> jimmy: did you do that? >> absolutely. i am like i need to write some for that joke. i will be in the trailer. >> jimmy: to promote the movie you are going on a comedy tour with great comics. who's on the tour? >> we are going out, amy, colin quinn, myself, and we will be in chicago on the 18th at the harris theater and in san francisco on the 19th at the norse. and all of the money goes to charity, which i regret now because it made a lot of money. >> jimmy: really was a mistake. well, by the way, these are some of the funniest comics you will see. if you know them or not, very funny people. good to see you. thank you for coming. judd apatow, everybody. "sick in the head" comes out on june 16th.
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>> announcer: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by at&t, mobilizing your world. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank jennifer connelly, judd apatow, zach and noah. apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time for him. he will be rescheduled. "nightline" is next but first, their cd "blurry face" came out on tuesday, here with the song "tear in my heart." twenty one pilots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ sometimes you gotta bleed to know that you're alive and have a soul ♪ ♪ but it takes someone to come around to show you how ♪ ♪ she's the tear in my heart i'm alive she's the tear in my heart i'm on fire ♪
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♪ she's the tear in my heart take me higher than i've ever been ♪ ♪ the songs on the radio are okay but my taste in music is your face ♪ ♪ and it takes a song to come around to show you how ♪ she's the tear in my heart i'm alive she's the tear in my heart i'm on fire ♪ ♪ she's the tear in my heart take me higher than i've ever been ♪ ♪ than i've ever been than i've ever been than i've ever been ♪ ♪ you fell asleep in my car i drove the whole time but that's okay i'll just avoid the holes ♪
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♪ so you sleep fine i'm driving here i sit cursing my government for not using my taxes ♪ ♪ to fill holes with more cement you fell asleep in my car i drove the whole time ♪ ♪ but that's okay i'll just avoid the holes so you sleep fine i'm driving here i sit ♪ ♪ cursing my government for not using my taxes to fill holes with more cement ♪ you fell asleep in my car i drove the whole time ♪ ♪ but that's okay i'll just avoid the holes so you sleep fine i'm driving here i sit ♪ ♪ cursing my government for not using my taxes to fill holes with more cement ♪ ♪ sometimes you gotta bleed to know oh oh oh that you're alive and have ♪ ♪ a soul oh oh oh but it takes someone to come around ♪ ♪ to show you how she's the tear in my heart ♪
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this is "nightline." >> tonight, the duggars speak. their squeaky clean reputation in tatters and their show pulled after josh duggar apologizes for wrongdoing amidst allegations he sexually abused his sister he was a teenager a. strong reaction from them about the e-bomb shell revelations. when lightning strikes, think you are safe in the comfort of your car? think again. this woman got struck by lightning while driving. we help you protect yourself by debunking common myths about summer storm season. ♪ surf,
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