Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  July 23, 2015 11:35pm-12:38am PDT

11:35 pm
for joining us right now on jimmy kimmel leif actor collin farrell. >> enjoy. ps >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight, colin farrell -- meghan trainor -- and "this week in unnecessary censorship." with cleto and the cletones. and now, for the duration, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
11:36 pm
>> jimmy: i'm jimmy, i'm the host short. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. wow. i'm glad you're here. you know what would be a fun thing to do from now on? somebody write this down. the tickets to see this show in hollywood are free. which i will say really cuts down on people asking for refunds after the show. so we don't charge money for people to get in here. you know what would be nice? if everyone brought me a sandwich. in order to get in you have to bring me a sandwich. every night i'll have 150 sandwiches. i pick the ones i like, i give the rest to you, guillermo, wouldn't that be good? >> guillermo: that would be good, we should do that. >> jimmy: imagine the variety. we'd get sub sandwiches, meatball, blt every once in a while. welcome to our salute to texas. [ cheers and applause ]
11:37 pm
not that this has anything to do with it but donald trump is in texas, is that why you left? as i'm sure you've heard, because he's been yelling about it nonstop, donald trump's running for president. he's currently polling hair and shoulders above the other republican candidates. and yet donald trump is now threatening that if he doesn't get enough support from the republican national committee, a committee that hates him, he will run as a third-party candidate. instead of as a republican. it's a power play. and one of the political action committees is already running ads to give this idea a boost. >> america has been in a two-party stranglehold for too long. it's time for change. >> our country needs a truly great leader. >> it's time for a bold visionary who's not afraid to say what he believes. >> how stupid are our leaders? >> a proven success in business. a leader who gets things done.
11:38 pm
>> i will be the greatest jobs president that god ever created. >> it's time for a whole new party. the trump party. paid for by hillary clinton. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, that's nice, very nonpartisan. meanwhile, donald trump was in laredo, texas, at the mexican border. what they told him was the mexican border. they actually took him into a chipotle. donald trump's speaking at the border, a little bit like mel gibson showing up at a bar mitzvah. trump, of course, repeatedly said he will build a wall to keep immigrants out of our country. donald trump is very focused on making america a place for americans only. until it comes time to buy a wife. then at that point -- [ laughter ] then the borders loosen up.
11:39 pm
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: anyways, down in texas talking to people. they need it down in texas. what they needed was three strong guys to lift him up and throw him over the fence. let mexico deal with him and vice versa. here in los angeles, donald trump pinatas are apparently now a huge seller. he's number one. another number one product for donald trump. pinatas of donald trump are selling like -- caliente cakes in the l.a. pinata district. there he is. [ cheers and applause ] the one on the left is the real one -- i think. the hair on the pinata's more realistic than the hair on his actual head. president obama's headed to kenya tomorrow. this will be his first visit to kenya since he became president. it's like he's intentionally trying to drive donald trump crazy. hey, look, i'm in kenya, what do you have to say about that now? obama is considered to be a local son because his father was born in kenya.
11:40 pm
the kenyans are apparently beside themselves with excitement. the town is said to be abuzz. some of them are running 26.2 miles to see him. some in under three hours. meanwhile, while obama's off on his fantasy trip to kenya, at yellowstone a woman was attacked by a bison that she was trying to take a selfie with. shouldn't the president cancel his trip when something like this happens? the woman is okay. she was treated, she had minor injuries. the bison's pissed off but he's fine. this is the fifth person to be injured at yellowstone by a bison this season. park authorities are warning people not to take selfies with bison. because they're unpredictable and dangerous. especially when they don't have their makeup on. they don't like to be -- the woman ignored this sign because it appears to have been drawn in the 1800s. some sign -- it looks like fun to be thrown around by a bison. people and these cameras,
11:41 pm
already. first of all, if you're posing for a photo with a bison, it's not a selfie, it's called a bi-selfie. i disagree with park rangers, i say if people want to take pictures close to dangerous bison, let them get right in there and learn, it's called natural selection, folks. [ cheers and applause ] we'd be just fine without those people. think about it. i bet in 20 years every one of us will know someone who died as a result of a selfie accident. while we're on the subject of vicious attacks, are you up to date on the twitter skirmish between taylor swift and nicki min minaj? do you know about this? it's hard to follow because it's been going on a few days. i'm going to break it down for you using the universal language of emojis. so here's what happened. put the screen up and we'll look at the emojis. so nicki minaj was angry. burned up, actually, she hadn't been nominated for an mtv video
11:42 pm
music award for video of the year. she used twitter to point out that videos featuring thin white women seem to be valued more by society, whereas her video was overlooked. taylor swift saw it and took that personally. she assumed the tweet was about her. taylor tweeted she wishes nikki would stop pitting women against each other what did she ever do to deserve this? nikki was annoy sxhd confused by this. she was apparently not referring to taylor swift. she was speaking generally. she tweeted that she would barge onstage to accept the award even though she wasn't nominated. taylor backed off and tweeted that she supported that idea. and then this morning taylor swift apologized for commenting in the first place. she said she misunderstood nikki's initial tweet and she shouldn't have said anything. and nikki minaj to her credit forgave her immediately. and everything was fine.
11:43 pm
but meanwhile, katy perry now chimes in. katy and taylor are in a feud. katy said she found it ironic that you would parade the pit women against each other argument. using the takedown of another woman. and then taylor swift was all like this. and then nicki minaj was all like this. and then my 14-year-old niece allison exploded. and that's the end. that's what happened. [ cheers and applause ] emojis of all of us, not just the teenagers. have you seen this video where the guy mounted an automatic weapon to a drone? look at this. kind of terrifying, actually. something like this, you can theoretically rob a bank from home. now, mounting a gun to a drone is a very bad idea but it's also kind of awesome, let's be
11:44 pm
honest. there's not one guy in this room right now who wouldn't want to fly that thing and shoot it. so i decided to come up with a slightly less dangerous version of that. and some people here at the show have been working on it. it's time to fire it up. ladies and gentlemen, it's with great pride that i bring you -- i'm going to get out of the way here. here it is. fire it up. this is the -- [ cheers and applause ] the silly string drone. very unpredictable. [ cheers and applause ] you see it doesn't quite have the firepower. look, it actually -- i mean, look at that. look at that dribble. wouldn't that be something to have at a birthday party? there you go. well. i have to -- all right.
11:45 pm
best $38,000 we ever spent. we have to take a break. when we come back, there might be a sequel to "space jam" starring lebron james, and "this week in unnecessary censorship" too so stick around! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ the mercedes-benz summer event is here. now get the unmistakable thrill... and the incredible rush of the mercedes-benz you've always wanted. but you better get here fast... yay, daddy's here! here you go, honey. thank you. ...because a good thing like this won't last forever. see your authorized dealer for an incredible offer on the exhilarating c300 sport sedan. but hurry, offers end soon. share your summer moments in your mercedes-benz with us. let's make this right.
11:46 pm
nicely done. enough! uhh. check please. i'm gonna crack like and eat like i skipped lunch. why? because red lobster's crabfest is back. and i'm diving into so much crab, so many ways. like crab lover's dream with luscious snow and king crab legs, and rich crab alfredo or this snow crab bake. who knew crab goes with everything? whoever put crab on this salmon, that's who. with flavors like these, i'm almost too excited to eat! hey i said almost. and now that it's back get crackin' while you still can. with at&t, strong can turn a simple lunch break...
11:47 pm
...into advanced economics. at&t's network has the nation's strongest 4g lte signal. but i've managed.e crohn's disease is tough, except that managing my symptoms was all i was doing. and when i finally told my doctor, he said humira is for adults like me who have tried other medications but still experience the symptoms of moderate to severe crohn's disease. and that in clinical studies, the majority of patients on humira saw significant symptom relief. and many achieved remission. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened;
11:48 pm
as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. ask your gastroenterologist about humira. with humira, remission is possible.
11:49 pm
we get 24/7k this out. professional monitoringme and video monitoring we can watch on our own tv. that's way better than our old security system. [metal clanking] [chip crunching] [baby crying] don't be old fashioned. xfinity customers, add xfinity home for $29.95 a month for 12 months. plus get a free security camera. call 1-800 xfinity or go online today. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all right. he really was terrific during the commercial. you know we're supposed to put that on television, right, not shoot it during the commercial? this guy must be great in bed, i'll tell you.
11:50 pm
well, welcome back to the show. colin farrell and meghan trainor are on their way. [ cheers and applause ] first it is summertime. you know, this is the season for big movie blockbusters. there are a lot of big movies coming out just about every weekend. it can be hard to decide which ones to see. so we asked our friend yehya for help. and here he is once again with his take on the new adam sandler movie. this is yehya talking about the movie "pixels." >> one, two, three, action! hi. it's me, yehya. i talking about the summer movie behind me, the movie -- "baxilexs," the movie like "bat-man." finish them all. and the movie is adam sander and the guy ubs for the show on tv, the big guy.
11:51 pm
i got a picture of both of them together. and the young boy with the glasses. little big boy, you know. i forget his name. and the short guy. is very good actor. he's in the movie shown on tv, "game of tron." i got picture of this guy here. no moustache. she's the bad guy in that movie. "bat-man." it's called "baramiclex." go watch the movie and good luck. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, yehya, perfectly done once again. here's some news for fans of movies of basketball and movies about basketball. lebron james and his production company, i guess he has a production company, just signed a deal with warner brothers. warner brothers was the studio behind the movie "space jam" starring michael jordan. the rumor going around is lebron might star in a "space jam" sequel or remake which makes sense. lebron's a pretty good actor, he's in the movie "trainwreck."
11:52 pm
every time he gets fouled he acts like a baby biting into a lemon for the first time. he knows what he's doing. [ cheers and applause ] i'm sure he'd do just fine in "space jam" reboot. i could see lebron remaking a lot of movies from the '90s. "thelma and lebron." or "from dusk till lebron." "lu-bron-ji." "lebron james and the giant peach." he could team up with the coen brothers for "the big lebronski" the possibilities are -- >> i don't want another space jam! typical hollywood, ruin my childhood again. >> jimmy: how is hollywood ruining your childhood by making another "space jam" movie? >> how can they make another "space jam" movie? it was perfect! >> jimmy: are you sure it was perfect? or were you just 5 years old when you saw it and you just think it was perfect? >> no, no, no.
11:53 pm
i know it was perfect. it is a perfect movie about the nba superstar with limited acting ability who teams up with bugs bunny to fight monster aliens, that is a perfect, beautiful movie! if they make another one -- aah! aah! [ cheers and applause ] >> no new "space jam"! >> jimmy: there are a lot of important things going on in the world. this is what you're upset about? >> yes, yes! only this issue! >> jimmy: why do you think that's the thing that you're upset about? >> because the real world scares me and this is all i have. >> jimmy: okay, yeah, that sounds about right, yeah. >> also, jimmy -- may i smell colin farrell? >> jimmy: i will ask. but the answer is probably no, okay? >> that's fair, thank you. >> jimmy: very good. all right. you're welcome. [ cheers and applause ]
11:54 pm
>> jimmy: it's thursday night. it means it's time to bheep and blur the big television moments of the week whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." [ cheers and applause ] >> forget pluto, it's time to [ bleep ] the aliens. >> we have him swimming -- ah, punch it in the [ bleep ]! >> we have to make america great again. [ bleep ] you. [ bleep ] you. [ bleep ] you. >> can i put three [ bleep ] in my mouth at once? show off? >> what is it, random texts with a picture of a [ bleep ] -- >> my [ bleep ]. >> good. >> probably not easy getting your [ bleep ] kicked by a guy who had [ bleep ] a few months ago. >> i've been waiting all day, have you guys [ bleep ] anyone before? >> all the time. >> i got a little bit of
11:55 pm
[ bleep ] still in me. >> fill in the blank, a guy knows he's had too much to drink when he tries to [ bleep ] his what? >> his sister. >> stand right there and i'll finish your blow [ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: on the show tonight, meghan trainor is with us and we'll be right back with colin farrell! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by schick hydro. with a great shave, epic things happen. check them out at epicbarbershop.com. thirty-four , three hundred eleven people in this city. and only one me.
11:56 pm
♪ i'll take those odds. ♪ be unstoppable. the all-new 2015 ford edge. ...where you least expect it. schick hydro. now with shave oils, the hydrating gel works with skin guards to reduce friction, stroke after stroke. our best shave for your skin. schick hydro. free your skin. gives you nexium level protection for frequent heartburn all day and all night. try nexium 24hr, the #1 prescribed acid-blocking brand, and get all day, all night protection. nexium level protection.
11:57 pm
female announcer: sleep train's ends sunday.e for 3 event! it's your last chance to get three years interest-free financing on beautyrest black, stearns & foster, serta icomfort, even tempur-pedic. plus, get free delivery, and sleep train's 100-day low price guarantee. but hurry! sleep train's interest free for 3 event ends sunday. ...guaranteed! ♪ sleep train ♪ your ticket to a better night's sleep ♪
11:58 pm
11:59 pm
12:00 am
♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: people get pretty hard with silly string around here. put that thing away, it's scary. this is her latest album, it's called "title." here to chat and sing for us, meghan trainer from the samsung outdoor stage. next week on the show we'll be joined by owen wilson, christina applegate, jason bateman, natasha la jaryl, army hammer, rick springfield, nicole richie, the bachelorette, caitlyn, herman of choice or maybe no man of choice, music from juanis and tyler the create tier. that is next week.
12:01 am
join us. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest is a golden globe-winning actor, raconteur, and former raiser of hell. he stars along vince vaughn in "true detective" season two, watch sundays at 9:00 on hbo. he's welcome colin farrell! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you doing? everything all right? >> i'm good. oh! >> jimmy: okay. well, that's -- no, no, no, no, no. >> thank you, thank you! >> jimmy: please. i'm so sorry about that. >> you keeping him around till after the show? i know he's on your employment list. >> jimmy: weird thing is he works here, i don't know why -- >> so i believe. he'll still be in the building when we finish this tet a tet, yeah? >> jimmy: yeah, no.
12:02 am
don't mess with you. >> he can have a sniff of me at his funeral. where did he go? he went for the neck. it was a bit vampiric. the nose or the lips, what was he trying to touch against my neck? >> jimmy: i think he was trying to smell you. >> with his lips? [ laughter ] >> he's evolved into some other creature i will never understand. >> jimmy: he has a whole different set of senses than anybody else. >> except for none. >> jimmy: how's life? >> good. >> jimmy: good with the family? >> yeah, yeah, you? >> jimmy: doing anything special this year? >> no. not really. no, just home with the kids. the kids are in camp then they're home. >> jimmy: they're at camp? >> keeping me on my toes. yeah, they're in camp. james and henry was in soccer camp, now in creative arts camp. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: were you a camper? >> no, not at all. >> jimmy: i wasn't either. >> i went camping in giant sequoia national park. >> jimmy: that doesn't count as
12:03 am
summer camp. >> i was 36. >> jimmy: did mom send you when you were 36 to the forest? >> yeah, said get out and learn how to do things, light a fire, be a man, it's never too late, farrell. i'm farrell too i'm your mom, she call you colin. >> jimmy: how is your mom doing? >> she's good. >> jimmy: last time she was dating some guy and you had your eye on him. >> they're not living in sin. >> jimmy: they aren't? you ilare killed him? >> yeah, yeah. they're bona fide. >> jimmy: they got married? >> they got married in my garden. >> jimmy: that's nice. >> two years ago now. >> jimmy: was it a planned thing? or just out in the yard, and there they were? >> they were out in the yard making love and i said, somebody get a priest, this is wrong. no, i mean, they planned it. they met when -- i won't say the age. maybe somewhere after 20 years of age easy. >> jimmy: yeah. right. >> so there's no -- i think in your more mature years in life, maybe there's not the same degree of subtext and
12:04 am
game-playing and all that kind of jousting that tends to go on for us younger kids. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so the fast track. yeah, six months after they met, they were on the altar. otherwise known as by the flower pot in my back garden. and making the most beautiful declarations of love, which is really, really cool. my mom and dad wasn't -- it was like "war of the roses" without the humor. >> jimmy: oh, wast? there were declarations but not of love necessarily. >> yes. cold, hard war. drones before they were even invented. >> jimmy: really. do you feel like that affected you? like made you like them in that way? >> made me like my parents? that they didn't like each other? >> jimmy: right. >> i'll think about that, we'll talk about it next time. i don't know how that would make me like them. i respect people like each other healthily. >> jimmy: unless they're married, i guess. >> you know are you know, you can dislike someone healthily, i think. >> jimmy: okay, all right. >> i don't know. i dislike that guy.
12:05 am
trying to smell me with his mouth. healthily. we'll have a quiet word together, me and him. >> jimmy: you can dislike each other healthily. >> put a light on that and cast a shod dough with two of us in that box and see how it goes. >> jimmy: we'll see whatever you want. we can get real weird here tonight. >> i can see if i have my brass knuckles from "true detective." where are they? >> jimmy: you mentioned something right at the end of your interview last time you were here. and i wanted to ask you about it. >> sure, man. >> jimmy: you indicated that you are cheap. that you are thrifty. >> yes. >> jimmy: that is true? that wasn't just a joke? >> i'm not cheap, like i don't -- i always tip 2% at restaurants. [ laughter ] >> i'm not cheap with that kind of stuff. yeah, i'm thrifty. i think i like stealing combs. i was at a spa one day, there was free combs. they weren't free but they were free. probably you'd imagine one person is supposed to take one comb. so being the hollywood bad boy i decided to steal five. >> jimmy: you took five combs.
12:06 am
that is stealing. if you took one comb it makes sense. >> it didn't say it anywhere but i think so. >> jimmy: common sense would indicate it's one comb per person. >> i do like a freebie. >> jimmy: do you take anything? >> i find swag freebies can be a bit gross. i'm not above it. i've used swag stuff. oh, it's disgusting, all the poor people in the -- ooh, look at that! the way they have swag sweets, things you've gone to. >> jimmy: gift bags. >> everyone's doing so well. >> jimmy: they give you soap. >> and they give you soap. soap? i get excited about. >> jimmy: you do? >> fancy soap in the swag shop, that kind of fancy soap. a bar of soap? i remember flying on an airplane when i was a kid. this was back 32 years before i went camping. and they had airling gus, little soap, yay deep, half an inch long, wrapped in paper. and i remember that was gateway
12:07 am
to the combs 20, 30 years later. >> jimmy: i love those tiny things on the airplane. the best thing is the tiny tube of toothpaste. >> love it. >> jimmy: why aren't those available to us? >> ridiculous. because you'd lose money on the trip to rite aid buying such a small -- >> jimmy: you're right. tiny people, there are a lot of small people who could use those. >> but their teeth aren't usually -- [ laughter ] >> their teeth are not as tiny as their bodies. >> how long ago did you finish shooting "true detective," the second series? >> we finished -- let go of that one, we'll move on. [ laughter ] >> i'll circle back. we finished shooting "true detective" at about -- two months, three months ago. >> jimmy: your american accent in that show -- >> murrican accent? >> jimmy: i'm one of us, i know, this is how we say it. >> i'm taking notes. where's my phone? >> jimmy: it's perfect and i
12:08 am
wonder if that's something that you sit down and figure out or if it's something that you've just absorbed from being around people? >> and figure it out, varying degrees of success or failure. i've worked with a great dialect coach and i had a good lead-in, two or three months. we'd get together every day. i'd stop at starbucks and pick up english breakfast with a half foam soy, get my drink, call to her place, we'd go through the script, read things. listen to audiotapes as well. kind of work off the ear, i think. >> jimmy: when you're shooting does somebody go, nope, that sounded irish. is somebody listening for that? >> there's so many things to be concerned about. no, that take was [ bleep ]. maybe they're not so concerned with accents. but after the fact it's good to have your dialect coach or yourself listen to the footage that's been gotten after you've finished the job. >> jimmy: to me it is mind boggling, the idea that
12:09 am
americans even have an accent that you would have to learn. >> there's so many different accents. the hardest i've found to do is kind what was you'd call standard american accent. it's tricky because it just -- there's something about it that you can't circumnavigate how it feels from my -- in my irish, it feels too unspecific. whereas going to new york, texas -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. you can have fun with it. >> the lone star audience. >> jimmy: there are many texans here tonight. >> you can have fun with it, absolutely, yeah. >> jimmy: let's look at a clip. there are three episodes left. >> three left. >> jimmy: and in this one i think we're maybe going to learn a little something. because for those who have been watching the show religiously, we know how the last one ended. >> yeah. >> jimmy: with -- >> with me and himself, mr. vince vaughn, having a little -- >> jimmy: yeah, not -- well, this is -- that's what this is. >> that's what this is. >> jimmy: let's take a look, "true detective." >> a long time ago, you gave me
12:10 am
a man's name on a piece of paper. >> i did? >> because you knew what i'd do. >> i knew what i'd do. i didn't know you at all. >> who was he to you, that man? >> me? nobody. some crankhead. he'll come to me, i passed it on. >> because why not get blackmail on a sheriff's deputy? >> jimmy: there you go. oh, hey! we have 30 seconds left of time. "true detective" sunday nights on hbo. colin farrell, everybody. thanks for coming. be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> portions of "jimmy kimmel live" brought to you by schick hydro.
12:11 am
12:12 am
♪bend the rules of what'st ♪ possible with the epic hp x360. so, you're saying we can't use sorry sir it's hotel policy.l? is it really hotel policy? i'm afraid so sir. do it. how about now? i deserve this. you deserve to be fired. four flavors, four shapes, cheetos mix ups. so, what did you guys think of the test drive?! i love the jetta. but what about a deal?
12:13 am
terry, stop! it's quite alright... ok, you know what? we want to make a deal with you. we're twins, so could you give us two for the price of one? come on, give us a deal. look at how old i am. do you come here often? he works here, terry! you work here, right? yes... ok let's get to the point. we're going to take the deal. get a $1000 volkswagen reward card on select 2015 jetta models or lease a 2015 jetta s for $139 a month after $1000 volkswagen bonus. ...to show your roots... ...with root touch-up from nice'n easy. seamlessly blends with leading shades, ...even salon shades... ...in just 10 minutes. no roots. no grays. just the most shade choices for natural looking color... ...as real as you are. so go ahead, show the world your roots... ...with america's #1 root touch-up. cbut will it get people cleane genough to go commando? did you just wipe your bum? well, i sure did.
12:14 am
did you notice anything about the texture? it's very...functionally efficient. this is the equivalent of your muscles. it just gets a hold of everything. yeah. nothing's left behind. nothing. are you clean enough to go commando? (laughs) are you serious? totally. okay okay how do you feel? oh my goodness, it's amazing. only cottonelle has cleanripple texture so you're clean enough to go commando. you stream music, movies, tv, stuff you shouldn'twatch in public... like that guy! everything's on demand, so why wait two years to upgrade your phone? what if you made the wrong choice? or an even wronger choice? yeah, i know. and you! hi! i'm on this phone to tell you more about phones. oh you actually chose wisely. introducing jump on demand get the phone you want when you want. including a new iphone 6 for zero up front and just $15 a month.
12:15 am
.
12:16 am
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: the new schick hydro razor has inspired a digital series called "epic tales from the barbershop" where famous men share never before told stories of their lives. this week, horacio sands. how epic will this tale from the barbershop be? >> it's not a lot of buildup.
12:17 am
but this is perhaps the most amazingly epic story you will ever hear. >> jimmy: wow. let's take a look. >> how you doing? good to see you. >> i brought my buddy. >> how's it going? >> how are you? we're going to get a cup of shaves. >> cool, have a seat. >> did i tell you about the time i saved a baby? it was epic. >> it was the first really nice day of spring, you know? as i step off the porch, i take my hat off, scratch my head. and i happen to spot inside my cap this little white mint rolling around. i toss it in my mouth. but this mint wasn't minty. i look at it again. it was an egg. i look up into the trees above and see this hummingbird darting around freaked out. her egg fell into my hat. i'm going to do the epic thing and get this little guy back in his nest. i dedecided i'll go for the flower pot, the rain gutter, the roof, the tree. i gently drop the egg in the nest and it felt great. a couple weeks later i see four healthy hummingbirds flying around with their mama bird. one of them was smaller than the
12:18 am
on or abou others so i could tell he was my egg. >> you saved a human baby? >> i saved a hummingbird baby. even better. >> nice and smooth. >> sharp. >> schick hydro. for more epic tales go to epicbarbershop.com. >> jimmy: you're right, the greatest story ever told. horacio sands! we'll be right back with meghan trainor! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ dration... ...where you least expect it. schick hydro. now with shave oils, the hydrating gel works with skin guards to reduce friction, stroke after stroke. our best shave for your skin. schick hydro. free your skin. yoso why treat yourf mouth any differently. brushing alone does less than half the job, leaving behind millions of germs. complete the job with listerine®. kill up to 99 percent of germs.
12:19 am
and prevent plaque, early gum disease and bad breath. complete the job with listerine®. power to your mouth™! also try listerine® pocket packs to kill bad breath germs on the go.
12:20 am
irresistibly crispy bacon, of enticingly tender turkey, and deliciously rich guacamole together on freshly baked bread for one truly amazing sandwich: the new subway turkey & bacon guacamole. only at subway. with at&t, strong can tell a bedtime story...from gate 9. at&t's network has the nation's strongest 4g lte signal.
12:21 am
don't wake him. do it. [crunch] huh [laughing] looking good frank. looking good.
12:22 am
12:23 am
[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back. i do want to mention, i forgot to mention colin farrell, he's going to be there, i'm hosting the special olympics world games on saturday. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: if you're in los angeles come out or watch it on espn. our second guest is a hugely successful singer and songwriter who reminded all of us of something important, that we have all the right junk in all the right places. she's on a nationwide tour, the m-train tour.
12:24 am
please say hello to meghan trainor! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: have a seat, put on a pair of shoes, enjoy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you came in on a sideways rumba. >> that is my first time here so i wanted to make a cool entrance. >> jimmy: you did make a cool entrance. i'm told these are the future of personal transportation. >> the future. i've been trying to work out more but now i'm barely roll walking. >> jimmy: how's life? >> great, awesome, busy. >> jimmy: i love the name of your tour. >> m-train tour. >> jimmy: is m-train a nickname? >> yeah, i wanted to be called m-train and people laughed and they're like, yeah, sure, m-train. and so when i became famous and a pop star i was like, yo, my second tour's going to be
12:25 am
m-train tour. >> jimmy: you started as a songwriter -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: correct me but you were in high school when you started? >> oh, yeah. when i was positively. i left for lunch to sign the deal. >> jimmy: a lot of people write songs when they're kids but you had a contract. >> yes. >> jimmy: what grade were you? >> senior. i was a senior in high school. so i was doing the s.a.t.s and trying to get into colleges. when we left for lunch that day i went to high school and i came back and told my friends. i'm not going to college, i got a job! they're like, sweet. >> jimmy: they're like, uh, good? >> yeah, they didn't know what it was. >> jimmy: you were the richest one in high school. >> i was! no. >> jimmy: now were probably the only one making more than minimum wage, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: you've had tremendous success. perhaps the greatest honor that an artist can have, i think, is having a fan club that has a name. so like lady gaga has the little monsters, katy perry has the katy cats. your fans have named themselves
12:26 am
or did you name them? >> they named themselves trainors. since i don't work out with trainers, i was like -- it was terrible, i didn't like it. >> jimmy: you said no? >> i was like, what do i do? i have to stop this before i get more successful. she was one of those megatrons. and i laughed, can transformers sue me for that? she said, make it a "z," you're good. >> jimmy: your friend is a budding attorney. >> she's great, very smart. >> jimmy: megatronz. it's a strong nickname, it really is. >> yeah, right? >> jimmy: the megatrons. who wouldn't want to be a part? i see guillermo signing up right there. have you bought anything big yet since you've become -- >> bought anything big? >> jimmy: you're young and you have a lot of money. what do you do with it? >> great question. >> jimmy: thank you. >> mama's smart. mama tells me to not buy
12:27 am
anything yet. i finally moved out of a very small apartment into a house. i'm renting a house now. >> jimmy: okay. are you alone in the house? >> no. i live with my two cats and two brothers. >> jimmy: do you charge your brothers to live in the house with you? >> it's complicated. [ laughter ] >> they're my age and younger. a 19-year-old brother and a 22-year-old brother. they're not like employed. i mean, one of them's employed by me. >> jimmy: i see. >> i'm paying myself to pay him. >> jimmy: what does he do for you? >> videotapes my life. >> jimmy: what? >> yeah. he comes on the road and -- >> jimmy: most sisters get mad at their brothers for videotaping their life. >> i asked him to. do you want to come on the road and videotape everything that happens? he was like, sure. a week in he was like, do i get paid? i was like, uh-huh, sure, yeah. >> jimmy: so you personally pay him? >> yes. >> jimmy: do you write the check out? >> i don't write checks. >> jimmy: did he negotiate his salary with you? or did you tell him how much -- >> i spit a number.
12:28 am
is this enough money for you to have a social life and go to the clubs and meet women and take them on dates? and he was like, yeah and it was a lot, it was good. >> jimmy: is he allowed to bring women he meets at the clubs back to the house that he's living in with you? >> he has, he has. >> jimmy: he has? >> it's a big house. i'm like, you go way up there. >> jimmy: when the girls come back to the house and then they see meghan trainor -- >> they see my blacks. >> jimmy: do they go, what the hell is going on? >> usually they're drunk. >> jimmy: oh, i see. >> they're like, how are eehh -- >> jimmy: you have to grab his video camera and shoot his life. >> i did. >> jimmy: you did do that. >> i did. one girl, she was out of control, i didn't film on her but i filmed and i was like, is this real life? >> jimmy: how long do you think that's going to work before you go, okay, that's good. >> see, one of my brothers is deathly allergic to cats. so they're in my room but my
12:29 am
room's big, don't feel bag, they have a castle, it's nice. but he complains, i can't breathe, i can't breathe, get rid of them. i say, i didn't know i was going to live with my brothers forever. i didn't know i would be providing you with a roof. you're welcome. those conversations happen every day. >> jimmy: they're going to be there, they're going to suffer? >> yeah. >> jimmy: if you need to get rid of them, get more cats. it's as simple as that. >> yeah. >> jimmy: guys go out in the yard. >> good-bye. >> jimmy: you're on tour, you're enjoying yourself? or do you feel it's a grind? do you love the song "all about the base" or are you like, i'm done singing this song? >> i love it. [ cheers and applause ] >> i told myself, this is going to suck singing it over and over again the rest of my life. but every time it comes, it's always the last song of the show, and everyone getted pumped. even parents will come and some parents are not about it, and that song they stand up. they have their phones.
12:30 am
they're like, this is the base song. last show i had a very old man with a huge beard. he was like -- ♪ all about the base and i was like, yes, sir! i kept singing to him. it gets me pumped. >> congratulations on all your success. >> thank you. >> jimmy: this is the album "title." meghan trainor. see her on the m-train tour. when we come back, music from meghan trainor. we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung.
12:31 am
12:32 am
>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank colin farrell, and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next but first, her album is called "title." here with the song "like i'm gonna lose you," meghan trainor! ♪ i found myself dreaming in silver and gold like a scene from a movie that
12:33 am
every broken heart knows ♪ we were walkin' on moonlight and you pulled me close split second and ♪ ♪ you disappeared and then i was all alone i woke up in tears with you by my side ♪ ♪ a breath of relief and i realized no we're not promised tomorrow ♪ ♪ so i'm gonna love you like i'm gonna lose you i'm gonna hold you like i'm saying goodbye ♪ ♪ wherever we're standing i won't take you for granted 'cause we'll never know when when we'll run out of time ♪ ♪ so i'm gonna love you like i'm gonna lose you
12:34 am
♪ so i'm gonna love you like i'm gonna lose you ♪ in the blink of an eye just a whisper of smoke you could lose everything the truth is you never know ♪ ♪ so i'll kiss you longer baby any chance that i get i'll make the most of the minutes ♪ ♪ and love with no regrets so let's take our time to say what we want use what we got before it's all gone ♪ ♪ no we're not promised tomorrow ♪ ♪ so i'm gonna love you like i'm gonna lose you i'm gonna hold you like i'm saying goodbye ♪
12:35 am
♪ wherever we're standing i won't take you for granted 'cause we'll never know when when we'll run out of time ♪ ♪ so i'm gonna love you like i'm gonna lose you i'm gonna love you like i'm gonna lose you ♪ please give it up for simpson come on ♪ ♪ give it up come on ♪ so i'm gonna love you like i'm gonna lose you i'm gonna hold you like i'm saying goodbye ♪ ♪ wherever we're standing i won't take you for granted
12:36 am
'cause we'll never know when when we'll run out of time ♪ ♪ so i'm gonna love you like i'm gonna lose you i'm gonna love you like i'm gonna lose you ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
12:37 am
this is "nightline." >> tonight, the breaking news. panic inside a movie theater in louisiana. a gunman opens fire, several fatalities, including the shooter. >> just stood up and started shooting. >> we have all the new details right here tonight. >> it's sad. it's too close to home. plus, meet the polyamorous parents putting an unconventional spin on child-rearing as a trio. how they're challenging social norms and why they say it's working for their kids. could this be the new modern family? and it looks like a scene straight out of "mad max." but these crash queens are ready to rumble in real life.

250 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on