tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC August 24, 2015 11:35pm-12:38am PDT
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>> jimmy: thank you. thank you. welcome to the show. thank you for watching. thank you all of you for coming. every night when i am at work i walk out onto the stage. i get a nice round of applause. feels good to have 200 people clapping. then i turn on the news, i see 30,000 people in alabama going nuts for donald trump, i have to admit i don't feel quite as good anymore. donald trump had a rally at a football stadium in mobile, alabama, and recently planning to have it in a hotel ballroom. it got too big for the ballroom. they moved it to the convention center. it got too big for the convention center. so they moved it to a football stadium. apparently the strategy of saying whatever crazy thing pops into your head is really paying off for him. but president-elect trump, all of the big issues, china,
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opponents, univision, mexico, oreos, everything. he even talked about the weather and how the weather might affect his hair. >> you know the weather is a little dicey. that's okay. but who cares, if it rains, right? right? [ cheers and applause ] you know if it rains i will take off my hat and i will prove, i will prove -- i will prove once and for all that it's mine. okay. >> jimmy: sound good to me. why not just dip it in a bucket. you don't have to wait for the rain. you know this whole thing with donald trump, started out something that felt like a publicity stunt. now look at this. there are people with signs that say, thank you, lord jesus, for president trump. let me tell you something. this is the one thing i like about donald trump, when jesus scratches his back, he turns right around and gives a jesus a scratch back.
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>> my second favorite book of all time. what's my first favorite book? the bible. the bible. [ cheers and applause ] and as much as i love the "art of the deal" it's not even close. we take the bible all the way, right? okay. right. >> jimmy: he has never read the bible. i am telling you right now. he never -- i don't know what is going on. i really don't. six months ago the guy was sitting in a fake tv board room, firing lorenzo lamos, he refused to choose between brandy glanville, and vivaca a., fox. and the latest poll, reuters, trump with 32%.
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jeb bush. 16%. jeb bush has photo shopped photo for an ad which gives him a black left hand and much different looking body. jeb just can't get it right. this is what he is talking about. last week more than 85,000 ians got this flier. zoom in on the left hand. it does appear that jeb bush has a black hand. a spokesman for jeb's campaign said while most of jeb's body is white, his hand identifies as black. i wonder if his black hand, handshake is different from the white hand, handshake. a lot of fun. in 15 short months we'll have a new president. in the meantime we have a new bachelor. we didn't have to vote on that. there was no campaign. earlier tonight "after paradise" the show that follows "bachelor in paradise" the identity of the new bachelor was revealed. a weird choice, jared from subway its the new --
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[ applause ] >> jimmy: is that wrong? i'm sorry, i'm mistaken. pick aid guy from last season of "the bachelorette." ben higgins, ben h. he is a software salesman from denver. second runner-up last season. which is nice. been in the competition before. he already has all the diseases. you don't have to -- ben says he is there. he is on the show for the right reasons. to find love. let's be honest. we don't care why he is there. the batch chelor never marries one. we watch it anyway. do you think we would watch "csi" if they never caught the murderers. i don't think we would. congratulations to ben h. i think i speak for all of us when i say we look forward to your amazing journey, we really do. i hate to, i don't want to depress anybody. sad news you heard by now. that one direction, the band is taking an extended break to focus on their solo projects. i know.
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right, guillermo? >> guillermo: yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: niles from the band confirmed today via twitter, needless to say, one direction fans are devastated. social media today was just flooded with tears. here's some of the tweets. if 1-d is over, my life is over. if one-d splits up my life is over forever. it is over forever. i'm crying. help. one direction can't be splitting up. please, lord. i swear if one-d is splitting up next year my life is so officially over. that's when you know it is serious. please tell me i'm dreaming and one d aren't break up. one direction. worst day of my life. please tell me if this is true. are you splitting up? this better be a joke. all right, one d split. oh, no, why you do this? we don't know why they do this. why you do this?
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it doesn't make sense. a big story like this breaks, this is i have to say, we make a lot of fun of the news media. this is when our nation's newscasters really have their chance to shine. >> one direction will go in different directions. >> one direction may be headed in different directions. >> is one direction going in different directions? >> one direction heading in different directions? >>direction going in different directions. >> one direction may be headed in different directions. >> one direction is going in, maybe different directions. >> one direction are going their separate ways in several different directions. >> jimmy: i will always be grateful to one direction. i tell you, i didn't know that i was beautiful and they're the ones that taught me i was.
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my niece allison loves one direction. she has their birthdays memorized. she doesn't know my birthday. i should check in with her. can you give me one second. put my phone screen up on the wall. if you would, so we can -- see this. did you hear about one direction? okay. >> are you okay? well you still have -- taylor swift. and katy perry. and miley cyrus. come on, be happy. now you can focus on your
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education. oh, oh. whoa. i should probably call her. do people use these to make calls anymore? kids are very funny at that age. boys and girls are funny at that age. the little league world series this weekend, pennsylvania/missouri. now pennsylvania was the team batting you are about to see. up 14-0. watch this reaction from the pitcher after he gives up a grand slam made it 1-0. >> down the line. oh! that's a grand slam! way up on the hill! >> look at this.
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>> jimmy: you're on the other -- doesn't matter. when the game is over he is going to shaky's. >> on facebook, mark zuckerberg says the next big thing will be virtual reality or immersiv 3 d content. it makes virtual reality head sets. have one here. planning to ship the computer model next year. they sent us a prototype. it is a little clunky. not totally ready. i will give you a sample of how virtual reality facebook works. so, okay. fire it up. look at that. amazing. feels like i am in facebook right now. >> guillermo: jimmy. >> jimmy: yes. >> long time no see. >> jimmy: hey, dave. good to see you. >> it's been a while, huh? >> yeah. >> i don't think you have seen my new baby yet. >> i haven't.
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>> he's cute. very cute. >> yeah, right. i got more. >> jimmy: yeah. >> wow, look at that, huh. really cute. yeah, that's great, dave. yeah. >> i have plenty. >> jimmy: that's a lot of picture. hey is there something. >> coming across the border to steal our jobs. >> jimmy: uncle ron. >> it's an app. my daughter showed me huh to do it. >> that's enough. listen to me. i need care for my farm bill! please! [ all talking at once ] >> jimmy: i don't like it. i don't like the 3-d experience. i'm not ready for facebook in 3-d, are-up payi you paying attt all? >> guillermo: yeah, i am. >> jimmy: we are going to take a break. when we come back, you know the american guys who stopped the terrorist on the train in france? well they're not here, but we
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will talk about that when we come back. stick around. we'll be right back. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] what are people going to think of our new buttermilk crispy chicken? let's find out. it's probably the best sandwich i've ever had. it's super crispy but also really juicy. so would you guys come back? yes. most definitely! well here is our card. the location is on the back. it's mcdonald's? what? what? whaaaaat? get out of here. no way !! wait seriously? try some buttermilk crispy chicken. it's right around the corner, at mcdonald's. buttermilk whoo whoo!! ♪ who says families have to share data? these guys, that's who but at t-mobile you can get four lines with up to 10 gigs of 4g lte data, each no sharing and just $30 bucks a line
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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: tonight on the show, we have music from tobias jesso jr. i assume you heard about those that stopped the terrorist attack. three young american guys are traveling together friday from amsterdam to paris. they're on vacation and on the train they hear gunfire, breaking glass. without hesitation they pounced on this guy and wrestled him to the ground. one of the guys is in the
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national guard. another guy is in the air force. around 23 years old. which is impressive. most 23-year-old americans coming from amsterdam would be -- too stoned to do anything other than eat on the train. but the gunman, the guy had an ak-47. my favorite part of the story after they took the ak-47 from the guy demanded that they give it back. today the french government decorated the americans, gave them the legion of honor medal which is the highest noncheese related honor you can receive in france. so that's -- they weren't able to make oneba. anthony sadler, nonservice, a kid on vacation, he is kind of dumbfounded by the whole thing. >> i am just a college student
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the my last year in college. i came to see my friend on my first trip in europe. and we stopped a terrorist. if the's kind of crazy. >> jimmy: yeah, kind of. kind of. i feel like as americans we need this. like, it feels that we are one transformers movie away from france ignoring us completely forever. but these guys really helped us out. when you hear about an act of heroism like this a good reminder it is important to assist people in need whenever you can. you don't see it often enough. and we used this as an excuse for a game we play from time to time called how long. this is a social experiment. we conducted on the sidewalk in front of the theater. set up a variety of weird situations and wit to see hong it will take to intervene or participate. today we conducted three experiments. first the guy dresses up like sponge bob on hollywood boulevard. you know the guy? we had him fall done and lay on ground. and we will see how how long he lays there before anyone helps
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>> all right. [ applause ] >> jimmy: i feel like spongebob would have eaten the stew out of the shoe. we have one more, one thing no human being can resist. a free pretzel. in our dna. dressed the woman like a spretsle shsprets -- pretzel shop. we had her pretend to have a hacking cough. how long will it take to have someone faketake a pretzel from coughing woman. we'll find out out. >> free pretzels!
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>> jimmy: tonight, from the movie "learning to drive" with sir ben kingsley, patricia clarkson is here. then, a very talented young man from north vancouver. this is his debut album. it's called "goon," tobias jesso jr. from the samsung stage. tomorrow, seth mcfarland, producer, author, brian graser,
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halssy. miley cyrus. and you watch that, guillermo? >> guillermo: no. >> jimmy: pierce brosnan. and stay with us all week long. >> jimmy: our first guest tonight is a guy named bob who is emmy-nominated for playing a guy named saul who's really a guy named jimmy. it all makes sense if you've seen his great show "better call saul." on amc. please say hello to bob odenkirk. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: very happy that this could happen. you know i love your work for a very long time. >> we have been fans of each other since before the handsome beard. >> jimmy: that's right.
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are you talking about -- >> talking about your girlfriend. >> better call saul, i love breaking bad. one of my all time favorite shows. i loved your character on the show. and then, there is going to bea spentof spin-off the i hope this will be good. >> i figured it would be terrible. >> jimmy: figured it would be good knowing the people involved. >> you never know. we all felt the same way. we were all very nervous. and just want to work really, really hard. and coach thhope that we made s worthwhile and it would be appreciated eventually. >> jimmy: did you know right away when you were working on it, it was good and working? >> i knew vince and peter who worked on "breaking bad" and who had the idea for the show, that they did it for an honest reason. they really want to ex-mplore ts
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character. wasn't done to make another show. they didn't need to do that. i knew they worked just as hard as honestly on breaking bad. that was good enough for me. then we all just showed up. and worked as hard as we could. and you never know with any show or movie whether it is going to come together. and, but the fact that the audience and, and the critics, gave us a chance. i mean, i really expected that out of the gate to got a big old kick in the crotch. >> jimmy: you did? you were not a breaking bad fanatic. you weren't that familiar with the show when you started, right? >> i did not see the show. until the third season i was on it. now i had little kids. i did try to watch the show. to catch up on it. but they would walk into the room. and you can't have little kids walk into "breaking bad" or you wi will-- the state will come after you. >> jimmy: so you got rid of the
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kids? >> when they were old enough to go to summer camp. i was able to catch up on the show i was on. in one point of the scene, i misspoke about a character. and cranston looked at me and goes about this character i just mentioned. he goes you don't look him? oh, i know. the way i said it, like he was a friend of mine. like he's not your friend. oh, yeah, i know. you don't watch the show, do you? >> jimmy: on a show like that you get killed real quick if you don't watch the show. >> i expected to get killed. >> jimmy: you probably did expect. seemed like a combic reliic rel the show. it was a cult comedy favorite. for people that are really into comedy. that you would, eventually become the, the lead actor on a one-hour drama that is nominated
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for an emmy, nominated for seven emmys. and you are also nominated for best actor. did you ever imagine that? >> now, slow down. no, i didn't imagine it in a million years. i still can't believe it. yet. i -- it's -- it's crazy. and i am so thankful. and i can't believe i got the chance to do it. and the people have given it a chance. but i am going to say, can i just say, when people talk about this, this emmy nomination that i have get in in dramatic factor. i, i, appreciate -- people have been so nice. and like -- and warm and, i think it is the internet made people nicer. >> jimmy: you think so? >> i think it made people more polite. i blame the internet. >> jimmy: is that right? >> i feel like there are questions they really want to ask me. and they're just too nice -- so i wrote these down.
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and i, i feel like jimmy, you're the man -- >> jimmy: to do what? >> to ask me the questions people really want to ask when they talk to me about this emmy nomination for best dramatic actor? >> jimmy: people don't usually bring their own questions. >> i feel like you are the guy that can cut through the bs and ask me the real questions. i wrote them. he did not write them. >> jimmy: this is how talk shows go in north korea, by the way. >> i would look to aike to answ. whatever you have for me? >> jimmy: number one, why are-up trying to steal john hamm's emmy? >> because i'm selfish. very easy. a selfish, egotistical -- >> jimmy: question two, your show has remarkable cast, jonathan banks, rhea sandhorn, why does your character talk so much? >> well, i studied with mishu in
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new york. the puppet. the hand puppet. and the first rule in his class is to count your lines. and scum plan to sag if you didn't have enough. >> jimmy: next question, what is your process as a dramatic actor? how does it differ from your work in comedy? do you use visualization, mime, kabuki, please answer in detail. you have ten seconds. >> well, i put on the clothes of the character. and i -- i kind of do of a phony baloney act. where i pretend to be that person. >> jimmy: your ten second are up. i'm sorry. question four, you are ugly. discuss. >> first of all, thank you for asking. >> jimmy: yeah. really wasn't mine -- >> i'm not that smart either. and appreciate you didn't mention that. >> jimmy: last question, i am sure, two part, i am sure you have writ in a long boring speech in case you win.
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have you practiced the face-up are going to make when you don't. can we see it now? >> yes. i have. here goes. ready. >> jimmy: follow-up -- also. can we see the face that you are going to maculate eke later whe camera is off of you? >> yeah. >> jimmy: bob, can you stick around." "better call sa come back? >> in february. >> jimmy: in february on amc. we'll be right back with bob odenkirk. ♪ ♪ show me what you can do. ♪ ♪ shake it, shake it baby, come on now. ♪ ♪ shake it, shake it baby, oohh oohh. ♪ ♪ shake it, shake it, shake it, oohh. ♪ ♪ a-b-c, it's easy as 1-2-3 ♪ as simple as do-re-me, a-b-c, 1-2-3, baby you and me, yeah. ♪
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>> jimmy: we're back with bob odenkirk. your show, what year did that come on? >> 96-98. >> jimmy: your partner, you are going to do another sketch show together for netflix in november. >> we got the whole cast of "mr. show" tom kenny, jay jobson, people you have seen in all kinds. one is spongebob. >> jimmy: the real spongebob. not the homeless one outside. >> they all came together. everyone has the greatest time.
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it is going to come on netflix. >> jimmy: mr. show? >> with bob and david. there are legal issues. >> jimmy: catchy. how many episodes will you be doing? >> four. all we have time for. but they're great. jam packed. they're jam packed. >> jimmy: all right. >> they really are. >> jimmy: a whole season. but i believe it. four doesn't seem like enough after how many years. since you are here, you have been coming to our show for a long time since the beginning of the show. i have a new game i am excited about. i would love if you could be the first guest to play it, called heatherball, you heard of tetherball? it's time to play heatherball. here we go! >> jimmy: yes. >> i told my publicist i didn't want to play a game. >> jimmy: this game, a fun game. i think you will like it. tetherball, heather graham's face is on the ball.
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heatherball. >> i get. a wonderful idea. i don't want to play it. >> jimmy: why don't you want to play it? >> can't we talk? >> jimmy: we can talk while we play a guame of heatherball. [ cheers and applause ] look at how hard they worked on this. >> i don't care. we can talk right here. it's got her face on it. >> come on. come over here. >> i am not going to do it. >> jimmy: one minute. no problem at all. one minute. >> i will walk over there. i won't play. >> good. he is going to come over. ♪ >> got to make a quick phone call. >> jimmy: all right. >> hey, michelle, yeah, he, he, it's my publicist. my publicist. just real quick. he is making me play the game. i've told-up you i didn't want play the game. >> hold it, one second.
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i don't know who you are. you told them. who did you speak to her? is there a bonita here? >> jimmy: there is no bonita. guillermo she is thinking of. here are the rules. >> telling me the rules. >> jimmy: the first one that wraps the rope all the way around. you get to kiss heather graham on the face. winner of heatherball. i will go clockwise. >> heatherball, right. >> jimmy: start it off, bob. here we go. here we go. come on, now, bob! come on, bob! come on, bob! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i won. >> i'm fired. you're fired! >> jimmy: don't fire anybody over this. i'm the winner. thank you for playing. by the way we have something for you. the heatherball home edition. and provide you hours and hours of home enjoyment.
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now with more icing. >> jimmy: our next guest is an emmy-winning, oscar and tony-nominated, actress whom you can see taking driving lessons from sir ben kingsley in the new movie "learning to drive" now playing in select cities. please say hello to patricia clarkson. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: how you doing? >> i'm -- thank you for having me. >> jimmy: my pleasure. >> so many people, so many friend that love you so much. oh, my god. >> jimmy: can i get a last of these people? have you been having a good summer so far. >> i have had a very good summer. i was just in london doing a
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play with bradley cooper. >> jimmy: oh, the elephant man. >> where i had to be naked cry simultaneously. i don't recommend it. >> jimmy: it seems most natural to cry when you are naked. every time i take off my clothes i cry. >> but it was an extraordinary experience. he is a beautiful man. >> jimmy: oh, yes, yes, that's right. >> i realize i have on hooker shoes. i just looked down. oh, my god, i have hooker shoes on. but he, it was a beautiful. we did it on broadway. >> jimmy: what? sorry for the dirty joke. you did the elephant man on broadway.
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>> we di d it on broadway and then the west end. >> jimmy: is there a difference being nude on stage in new york or nude on stage in london? >> yes, there is. >> jimmy: what is the difference? >> the difference is the royal box. and that's not a metaphor. on broadway it is a beautiful theater. but in london, there is something called the royal box. and it's very, very, very close to the stage. the people watching from the royal box see everything. >> jimmy: are these royals? >> we were hoping royals would come. because i wanted kate and william to see me. >> jimmy: right, yeah. ha-ha. >> for the rest of my life, i could say i have been seen naked. >> jimmy: the queen would be even better. >> the queen would have been. then there is the royal room covered in pictures of the queen. i wanted.
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i was desperate for the royals to come. but they didn't come. >> jimmy: is it empty if they're not there? >> no, no. regular people. my mother sat there. >> jimmy: oh, that's nice. >> she thought she died and had gone to heaven. she waslike. >> jimmy: vip area. >> vip section. >> jimmy: i see. >> and vips sit there. >> jimmy: who else came to see you? other than mom, vip est of all. >> you can imagine with bradley cooper. but people like, tom cruise came. >> jimmy: oh, really. that's nice. >> he remarked to me at the end that he had very good seats. i thought, mission impossible 5. >> jimmy: is that something that you are comfortable with that, the idea that tom cruise is there while you are nude? >> so many celebrities came.
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that at a certain point. i just stopped asking. but, no, i, i'm -- i like the idea. if they think i look good. i mean it's kind, a beautiful scene. and so, when i reveal myself and to bradley cooper. >> jimmy: ha-ha. i revealed myself to bradley cooper and he did not appreciate it. >> i bet bradley would have been kind and lovely. >> jimmy: kind and lovely. but i didn't even get a hug. sir ben kingsley did he come to see you in the play? >> yes, beautiful sir ben kingsley came to see me. i did this beautiful film out. yes, he came to see me in the play. remember i did a movie before "learning to drive" with sir ben where we were lovers. so i was -- i'm always, i was
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naked with sir ben in the movie i did with him before. i'm not naked in learning to drive. >> jimmy: not driving naked, no. >> no, no. >> jimmy: at a wendy's drive-through. >> oreck, that, good that wou - been amazing. >> the sequel. >> jimmy: still learning to drive. >> but, no. i just -- i just, sir ben is a dear friend of mine. i am, i am, lucky enough to say. but, yes, we, we, all we did was -- we had -- well were not naked below the waist or above the waist. >> jimmy: do you always call him sir ben? >> i do. if i were dame patricia clarkson. everybody would be calling me dame patty. dame patricia. he has done something to earn that. and he is very kind and gracious.
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but i, i honor him by calling him sir ben. >> jimmy: and he likes that? >> oh, yes. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah. >> even when i was naked with him. >> jimmy: you call him sir? >> i said, hello, sir. >> jimmy: that's the best time to be a sir. learning to drive is now playing in select cities. and we shall return with music from tobias jesso jr.
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and when jaws dropped ... he had something for that, too. the new spicy nacho chicken sandwich. with two tacos, halfsies, and a drink for 6 bucks. all in a munchie meal. ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'd like to thank bob odenkirk, patricia clarkson and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. nightline is next but first, his album is called "goon" here with the song "crocodile tears" tobias jesso jr! "crocodile tears" ♪ i wonder why
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[ cheers and applause ] this is "nightline." >> tonight, american heroes. those three brave young men who took down this suspected terrorist on a train. they have now been given france's highest honor. and now we're hearing about a fourth american hero on the train. and those chilling tales of survival. >> i thought to mymyself -- >> the pregnancy test that went viral. >> no, you didn't. >> i did. >> turning this couple into overnight internet celebrities. now a miscarriage and a scandal. >> i sought forgiveness to god. he has forgiven me. >> have turned
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