tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC October 1, 2015 11:35pm-12:38am PDT
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j it's going to be a good show. >> for all of us here, have a >> for all of us here, have a good and now abc's "jimmy kimmel live." >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, ll cool j -- from "the martian," kate mara -- "this week in unnecessary censorship" -- and music from andra day with cleto and the cletones. and now, hold on tight, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy. welcome to the show. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. glad you're with us. first off, i'm going to wish happy world vegetarian day to boat of our vegetarian viewers watching. do we have any vegetarians in our studio audience here tonight? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: too weak to really clap? guillermo, you're not a vegetarian? >> guillermo: no, jimmy, no. >> jimmy: what's your favorite vegetable? >> guillermo: wrong broccoli. >> jimmy: a lot of people have an image what was a vegetarian or vegan looks like.
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it isn't usually accurate. i know some plus-sized vegetarians. i have a friend, i won't mention his name but it's doug delucca, who hasn't eaten meat in years. he's the size of a nuclear submarine, big man. do you think you could tell if someone was a vegetarian by looking at that person? let's find out. we'll go outside where cousin sal is standing by to play "spot the vegetarian." let play together, you can play at home. >> sal: what's happening? >> jimmy: nothing. one of the people, you've got two people, one of them is a vegetarian. >> sal: i'm not going to tell you which one, you're going to have to guess. >> jimmy: first of all, let's start with the gentleman to your left. what is your name, where are you from? >> lionel vice from boston, massachusetts. >> jimmy: from boston. do you live in l.a. now? >> i do. >> jimmy: what is your name and where are you from? >> cynthia hubble, paducah, kentucky. >> jimmy: from kentucky.
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this just got a little more complicated. okay. let see. what do you do for a living, leo? >> i manage a health spa. >> jimmy: oh, interesting. what do you do for a living? >> this is it. >> sal: that's enough. >> jimmy: you're a street walker? what do you mean? >> today i am, yes. i'm not good at it. >> jimmy: i am going to guess that leo is the vegetarian. leo? >> will the real vegetarian step forward now? >> jimmy: right? oh my goodness. wow, i got thrown off-base by the kentucky thing. and those dread locks, in fact. all right, very good. thank you very much. we have gift prizes. >> sal: prizes. >> jimmy: a salad spinner for you. and we have a set of steak knives for you. thank you, guys. let's bring another couple in. i thought i'd be better at this but i guess i'm proving my own point.
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what is your name, and where are you from? >> crystal, i'm originally from las vegas. >> jimmy: las vegas, very good. what is your name, sir? >> my name is simon, i'm from d.c. >> jimmy: what do you do for a living? >> fit. >> jimmy: you? >> i work retail. >> jimmy: you're from las vegas, not a lot of -- i'm from las vegas. not a lot of vegetarians in that town. and a doctor as well. sniff that sausage and tell me what you think. just give it a little sniff. and you. oh, he seemed to love it a little more. but he is a doctor. i am going to go -- i'm going to go with the doctor. sal, let us know. >> sal: will the vegetarian step forward? >> jimmy: i got it wrong again. see that? it's hard. all right, well. we again have gifts for you. i should have guessed by the sausage. there you go. >> sal: same thing for everybody. >> jimmy: sal, one more. >> sal: one more, come on in.
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this should be good. >> jimmy: okay. hi, there. oh, okay. all right. well, let's start with the gentleman in the red and blue. what is your name, sir? >> raymond. >> jimmy: raymond, where are you from? >> guatemala. >> jimmy: what's he saying, gee mario? >> guillermo: he's from guatema guatemala. >> sal: it's doug delucca. >> my name is tonita. >> jimmy: where are you from? >> i'm from virginia. >> jimmy: wow. are you a married woman? >> yes. >> jimmy: you are. >> yes. >> jimmy: is your husband deaf? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: not yet? >> not yet. >> sal: it's a different game. >> jimmy: we'll play that tomorrow night. all right. well, should we ask spider-man what he does for a living? i know he fights crime, right? >> sal: what do you do? >> jimmy: what is your job? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: he doesn't know.
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what is your job? >> postal employee. >> jimmy: you're a postal employee? >> u.s. postal employee. >> jimmy: i am going to guess that you are the vegetarian. >> sal: let's see. she's right, there you go. >> jimmy: based on nationality. all right, thank you. >> sal: i'm not going to give these to him. >> jimmy: that's a good idea. all right, thank you cousin sal. so there you go. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: just goes to show you. you know, speaking of meat eaters, with the attention being paid to donald trump seems we forgot our pal former toronto mayor rob ford, feeling better, he's a city councilor now. what he's working on is trying to keep uber out of toronto. >> this is -- i'm a pretty blunt speaker. i'm not a smooth-talking, fancy, long word use guy. i'll leave that up to people
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much smarter than me. i probably represent more taxi drivers than anybody in the city. i get compliments after compliments after compliments of taxi people taking people here, taking people there, taking people everywhere. technology, technology, technology my ass. >> okay. >> okay? >> jimmy: ay, okay. adidas has the best commercials, don't they? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: remember, for the record, rob ford is not a smooth-talking, fancy, long word use guy. i hope we're clear. that's doug delucca in case you're wondering. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you know, there's a new app that's stirring up a lot of anger called peeple. they describe it as yelp for human beings. with peeple you can review other people. friends, co-workers, exs, give them a rating of 1 to 5 stars.
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if somebody gives you a bad review you have 48 hours to work it out with them and convince them to take it down. if you don't, it goes up. isn't that terrific? just in case you don't get bullied enough in junior high school. the developers of peeple insist the intention of their app is to promote good feeling among people and it's not a bullying platform. which i guess means the developers are unfamiliar with how the internet works. this can be a disaster. if somebody rates you, you're going to want to see how you did. you're going to have to go on this thing. here's how it will work. first you'll use the site to find people who are highly rated. when you gained a good one you go to tinder and order that person. same way you order chinese ford. we are moo goo gai people now. this comes from our local nbc affiliate in l.a., a cautionary tale involving a woman who had what was quite possibly the worst hair day of all-time. >> somehow a woman in europe
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confused her hair mousse with a home improvement foam. she thought she was coating her hair with mousse but picked up a bottle of builders foam. >> jimmy: yeah. i understand the foam. where'd the big green leaves come from? her head looks like a spinach egg white omelette. she likes it though. that's all that really matters. she's happy. all right, it's thursday night which means -- we do this every thursday. . it's time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week whether they need it or not, it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> nasa says a mars mystery revealed. there is [ bleep ] water and ice. >> an important day for president obama [ bleep ]ing with vladimir putin. >> history shows regimes who [ bleep ] their own people will eventually crumble. >> could a simple [ bleep ] help shed unwanted pounds? >> democratic presidential front-runner hillary clinton is [ bleep ]ing several [ bleep ] around town today.
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>> what explains donald trump? >> he's a master [ bleep ]er. >> national [ bleep ] day. >> the man sets a gas pump and his [ bleep ] on fire as he tried to kill a spider. >> when people meet you, they say [ bleep ], [ bleep ]! what is that? >> can we talk about your family? >> yes. >> yoi just [ bleep ] your son donald junior. >> sandra? >> [ bleep ]. >> yeah, you got it. >> i can't wait to see grandma tomorrow. >> i can't wait to show her how much [ bleep ] i can shove in my mouth. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: when we come back, i am going to talk to kids about the men and women running for president. so stick around, we'll be right back! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome back to the show. ll cool j, kate mara, music from andra day is on the way. there are so many presidential polls coming out hit really every day. it can be overwhelming. i decided to sit down to poll a group we rarely get to hear from, that's kids. kids have opinions on politics too. and this is what they had to say about the long run for president of the united states. hello, there. >> hello. >> jimmy: what's your name? >> edie. >> jimmy: i'm jimmy. >> kaori. >> jimmy: nice to meet you. >> kyan. >> jimmy: hello. >> neve. >> jimmy: i'm jimmy. welcome. this is a focus group. do you know what a focus group
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is? >> no idea. >> jimmy: edie, what is a focus group? >> it's like a group where you try to focus on you. >> jimmy: kind of, yes. that's mostly true. have you been following the race for president? you have? what i was kind of hoping to speak about today is the people that are running for president. now, do you know who's running for president? >> a lady. >> jimmy: a lady, okay. that is true. actually, there are a couple of ladies that are running for president. i'll show you their pictures if you want to see it. >> yes. >> jimmy: what you have them is this lady. do you know who that is? yes? >> rose. >> jimmy: no, not rose. i'll give you a hint. her husband used to be the president. yes, edie? >> is it -- martha washington? >> jimmy: it is martha washington. you guys know who martha washington is? >> yes. >> jimmy: do you know her husband used to be president? what was his name? yes? >> george washington. >> jimmy: that's right. okay, hold on one second.
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i want to say this. i think i have -- no, that's hillary clinton. have you ever heard of heir? >> yes. >> yes. >> jimmy: what have you heard about her? edie? >> i heard she's very nice. >> jimmy: where'd you hear that? >> i saw it on a video. >> jimmy: yes. >> i heard she was very -- sharing. >> jimmy: sharing, oh, where did you hear that? >> on the news. >> jimmy: on the news? not fox news? no, no. >> i knew that she's an old lady almost. >> jimmy: how old do you think she is? >> i think she is 91. >> jimmy: 91 years old? that's pretty close, yes. she's 98 years old. now what age do you think the president should be? >> i know. >> jimmy: what? >> abraham lincoln should be like -- >> jimmy: hold is he now? >> i think he's in heaven. >> jimmy: he's dead, what happened, oh my god, no no, i didn't see this on the news, wait a minute, when did this happen? >> i think i know.
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>> jimmy: when? he died from age. >> jimmy: from what? >> he died from age. >> jimmy: i thought you said something else. >> no, because he's -- because he didn't like people treating the people not good because those were slaves. so he had to stop it. >> jimmy: you're exactly right. all right. let's see what else we got here. who's this guy, do you know? >> george clony? >> jimmy: no, that is not george clony but he'll be happy to hear you say that. all right. >> what -- i almost got it. >> jimmy: this is bobby jindal. >> is he scottish? >> jimmy: he is scottish. >> yes! i know scottish. >> jimmy: what do you think of this one? >> i know. >> jimmy: who? >> barack obama? >> jimmy: no. that's not barack obama. >> barack obama has dark skin like he does. >> jimmy: this is not barack obama. how about this guy? >> oh!
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>> i know! >> jimmy: who? >> looks like barack obama. >> he looks like me and he looks like -- >> jimmy: this guy is a doctor. >> is he you? are you a doctor? i'm not -- well, yes, i am a doctor. >> jimmy: what kind of doctor are you, then? toptometrist? >> jimmy: yes, toptometrist. >> what do they do? >> jimmy: they look at your top. what about this guy? >> his lips are purple. >> jimmy: do you trust him when you look at him? >> no! >> no! >> jimmy: here's one more. >> oh! >> jimmy: this is -- >> jamie scott. >> jimmy: no, good guess. >> i know -- i don't want him to be president because he looks very old and he looks like this year he's going to die. >> i think pack in the day he was smart. and he still knows stuff and he reads books. >> jimmy: you think he's smart? >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: because he's wearing glasses? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i think he's smart.
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almost like you. >> jimmy: almost. well, no one is as smart as i am. i mean, ask me any question and i know the answer. >> oh, oh, do you know what zero plus zero is? >> jimmy: of course, 100. >> no! zero plus zero is zero. >> jimmy: not really. do you have another question? >> what's the highest number? >> jimmy: it's 40. any other questions? yes? >> how do you spell poop? >> jimmy: how do you spell poop? p-u-p. anyone else? >> what's zero to 100? >> jimmy: zero to 100 is a range of numbers. anybody else? any other questions? >> did you ever go to alaska? >> jimmy: many, many times. i discovered alaska. >> by the way -- >> jimmy: not a question. yes? >> did you go in outer space? >> jimmy: yes, i've been to space, to the moon, to mars twice, loved it. >> have you ever melted your head off? >> jimmy: never, no. but i will tell you, sometimes
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my brain gets so hot from thinking, i feel like i might melt my head off. >> yeah, i think right now -- >> jimmy: will you guys vote for president? >> uh-huh! >> yes! >> jimmy: when? >> tomorrow. >> jimmy: tomorrow? who will you vote for as president? >> you! >> jimmy: yes? >> the guy who that said we're going to stop fighting and start doing our best. >> jimmy: i don't remember who that is but yes. okay. >> i vote to the same guy. >> jimmy: same guy. neve? thank you. >> i think the pen should be. >> jimmy: you think the pen should be our next president? anybody want to take any of these pictures home to your room? take these and hang them in your room? there you go, guys. enjoy. remember, folks. children are our future. right, guys? >> yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: music from andra day, from "the martian" date mara is here. be right back with ll cool j so
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stage. you'll see her live on tour starting october 13 in the montreal. next week on the show we welcome the following famous people. cate blanchett, eric stonestreet, keanu reeves, lena dunham, chace crawford, rose macgyver, guillermo del toro, music from thomas rhett, jewel, and eagles of death metal. please join us for our shows. tonight, a multi-talented gentleman who's been rapping, acting and knocking people out over 30 years. he stars on "ncis los angeles" monday nights on cbs. please welcome ll cool j! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> what's up? >> jimmy: how's your life? >> everything's good. >> jimmy: every time you come
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you get bigger and more muscular. we're going to have to expand the chair for you. >> i need room, give me breathing room. >> jimmy: congratulations on getting a star on the hollywood walk of fame. [ cheers and applause ] >> that's like a boyhood dream. >> jimmy: is it? >> absolutely. you know, just being acquainted with people with brochures and you dream about hollywood. you see souvenir shops with marilyn monroe and james dean. >> jimmy: did you come here when you were a kid? >> my father lived out here. when i was 14 i came out for a summer and it excited me. as a matter of fact, he had a record label as well. he was very much into music, he was an artist. >> jimmy: how about that. >> it inspired me to want to record. >> jimmy: will you have -- on each star, for movie stars there's a movie camera, tv there's a tv set. were you going for music or acting? >> it will be music. >> jimmy: for music, okay. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you could get another one too. >> another one? >> jimmy: you can get two of
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them. >> i'll take it, i'll take it. but i'm just happy. i'm just grateful. >> jimmy: you're happy with one. i was thinking, "straight out that compton," really great movie. >> shout-out to cube, dre. >> jimmy: shout-out to all of them. >> the pharmacy. >> jimmy: dre's not watching. >> i called him earlier. >> jimmy: okay, shout-out to you, dre, what up? when are we going to see that l.l. cool j def jam movie? i'd love to see that. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: have people contacted you about that? >> not yet but i'm open to it. >> jimmy: you are open to it. >> i'm open to it. could be some fun. i had some moments. >> jimmy: i know, you did. >> backstage moments. >> you had a number of moments. you were famous when you were a teenager, you became a star. what'd you do the first time you got real money?
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your first big paycheck? >> real money's relative. the first thing i got was a pair of sneakers and a vcr. >> jimmy: i see. >> gold chains. felt phenomenal. >> jimmy: sure, yeah. >> felt amazing. okay? after that, you know, i had 1,000 cars. outside my house, 10, 15 cars. >> jimmy: 10, 15 cars? >> in my grandmother's house. i'm still in my room. i bought my mother a house. i had a whole bunch of cars and i'm down in the room. the neighbor's like, he's selling drugs! you know, i'd be driving around in queens in my new car. cops would see me and say, how's the crack business? >> jimmy: i learned something about you today, you coined the term "audi 2000." >> my first car. >> jimmy: because you had that car? >> yeah, audi 2000. i'm audi, out of here. >> jimmy: isn't that exciting when you come up with a phrase -- >> if i was smart enough to
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trademark it it might be exciting. >> i don't know if you can trademark another company's product. >> you might not be able to. then again. >> jimmy: then again. >> there's a lot of squatters on the net. we live in a different time now. >> jimmy: when you hear people say i'm audi 50oo? >> felt a little sexy. >> jimmy: give me your digits. did you come up with that? >> i can't -- i popularized it, i can't take credit for that. >> jimmy: give me your phone, your digits. >> give me your math. >> jimmy: i'm learning all sorts of things. i didn't know about math. >> hit me with your math. >> jimmy: do you come up with it? >> absolutely in and out but i'm running with it. >> jimmy: i love that we could sit together for a couple of hours -- >> give you the new stuff. >> jimmy: i'll learn all the words. >> imagine the presidential debates with all slang. that would be phenomenal. >> jimmy: sound like a comedy bit that's ready to write itself. >> i think so. >> jimmy: would you be willing to play donald trump? >> yo. give me a wig, i'm in. [ laughter ]
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: speaking of which, you always wear a hat. >> yeah. >> jimmy: except for on the show, ncis, you don't. >> yeah. >> jimmy: in real life? >> most of the time i wear a hat. in movies and tv, when i'm doing roles, i try to separate it. >> jimmy: do you swim in a hat? >> i've had moments where i jumped in the water with a hat, didn't want to come up until i found the hat, almost drowned. >> jimmy: are you specific about the types of hats you'll wear? cowboy hat, for instance? >> maybe in vegas. >> jimmy: if it fit in -- >> no cowboy hats. you never know. i don't know how that would work. >> jimmy: like a motorcycle helmet? >> young man. i don't know, i don't know. you get creative with the hats i think village people. that's not a problem, i like their music --. >> jimmy: sure, no one loves their music more than you. >> know what i mean? >> you've been in rap feuds? >> i've been in a couple of
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feuds. >> jimmy: who would be stupid enough to be in a feud with you? >> i'm not going to say their names on television, ha ha! >> jimmy: really. >> give them a shout-out. >> jimmy: mc hammer -- >> no, i love him. he took a couple of shots at me. >> jimmy: he did. >> he danced on my name a couple of times. you know, i love him. it's all love, all love. >> jimmy: you can't dance on a man's name. although now that you've got that star, people are going to be urinating and sleeping on your name, you have to be careful. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> you think i'll feel it? >> jimmy: i think you will. >> people will walk by -- >> jimmy: like having a voodoo doll. >> oh, no. this could get weird. >> jimmy: maybe you can't to protect the star. ll cool j is here, "ncis los angeles." be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: ll cool j. "ncis los angeles." we've been on the air a long time, i've played a lot of clips, that might be the best ever. >> i told you to keep this house clean! >> jimmy: protecting the world from cleaning ladies. >> yo, yo. she done pulled out that mop with that stick on it. she ought to go spear fishing. >> jimmy: a mop with a spear on it. you've got to leap into action. >> things happen, things happen. things happen. >> jimmy: that never happens. >> they might have run at me with the palmolive or something. try to lather you to death or something. i had to do it. >> jimmy: if mc hammer saw that he never would have messed with you. >> oh, oh! >> jimmy: there would have been no problem. no dancing on your stars at all. >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: are you having fun doing the show? >> having a great time. this is our seventh season.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: a long time. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it's a good run. >> it's been amazing. and, you know, the show is in syndication. it's in over 200 countries around the world. it's doing really, really well. i'm very grateful. >> jimmy: and very, very rich as well. >> yes, yes. we're doing okay. >> jimmy: your earrings are beautiful. >> this is music money. this has nothing to do with tv. i had a life before this. >> jimmy: that's right. you were in music when you could really make a lot of money in the music industry. >> i had a minute. >> jimmy: you did all right. i think you also -- another thing you helped popularize is appreciation of big butts in general. >> yeah, yeah. i mean, they've been popular for thousands of years. >> jimmy: in a way, though, you i think kind of focused our energies on -- >> yeah, yeah, i did, i did. i had a song -- >> jimmy: was there one big butt in particular that inspired you to say, i need to rap about this? >> i didn't think there was put when you said that one popped into my head so i guess there was. know what i mean?
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i never really realized that. but it's amazing how things just fall to the front, get to the frontal lobe. >> jimmy: you take a nap every day? >> i do. >> jimmy: what time is the nap? >> it's according to when the big butt leaves. no i'm kidding. [ laughter ] bye, baby! actually, you know what, lunchtime. i eat my food really quick, five to seven minutes, something light, then i go to sleep. >> jimmy: five to seven minutes? >> yeah. whoo whoo whoo! let's do it. >> jimmy: even if you're shooting? >> when you're tossing cleaning ladies you got to get your rest. >> jimmy: you have to be ready. >> cleaning ladies is rough. >> jimmy: do the people on set know, be quiet, ll is sleeping? >> yes, there's been a couple of times when the guys are outside with the cigarettes and coffee outside my trailer. i open the door looking like, you know. >> jimmy: yeah. >> like you and the rihanna clip. know what i mean? >> jimmy: yeah, your mouth open. yeah, yeah. that was a surprise. >> you know, they get it.
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>> jimmy: i gotcha. >> i need that nap. if you visualize your goals, you think about the things you're trying to accomplish, you get a little rest, i think that helps. like plugging your phone in. >> jimmy: you're a rapper and a napper, it's unbelievable. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: remarkable. ll cool j. "ncis los angeles" monday nights on cbs. be right back with kate mara! to. and you're talking to a rheumatologist about a biologic, this is humira. this is humira helping to relieve my pain and protect my joints from further damage. this is humira helping me reach for more. doctors have been prescribing humira for more than 10 years. humira works for many adults. it targets and helps to block a specific source of inflammation that contrubutes to ra symptoms. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma,
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have happened, as have blood, liver and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. talk to your doctor and visit humira.com this is humira at work. tsomeone who can handle six things at once.sker. someone like ... jorge! hi, boss. starbucks doubleshot. there's no match for double the you.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we're back. still to come, music from andra day. our next guest is a talented emmy nominee actress you know from the show "house of cards" among many other things. now she journeys to mars in "the martian" which opens in theaters tomorrow. please welcome kate mara! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> how are you? >> jimmy: i love your outfit and your hair is very cute. >> stop, stop it. >> jimmy: how you doing? >> i'm good. >> jimmy: i heard you were
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watching the football game. >> yes. i was also drinking. i don't even know who we're playing. >> jimmy: we're playing? you have two teams that you root for. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i'm telling you as if you know. >> tell me, tell me. >> jimmy: your great grandfather founded the new york giants, your other great grandfather founds the pittsburgh steelers. [ cheers and applause ] >> yes. whoa. >> jimmy: how's that going? >> we're winning by a field goal. >> jimmy: do you favor one team over the other? >> i mean -- i can't say. on television. >> jimmy: you do secretly, favor one team over the other? >> mm -- if it's a secret, i can't say yes or no. >> jimmy: it is mara, not maura? >> correct. >> jimmy: there was an argument about this in the office today. >> everyone says it wrong, including my sister. >> jimmy: including your own sister? >> yeah. it's mara. mare-a. my grandparents are new yorkers.
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they say mara. >> jimmy: is it italian? >> i think it's irish. it was probably o'meara. who cares, now is what matters. >> you're putting the past behind you? >> yes. >> jimmy: your sister rooney says mara. >> she does. she's just trying to be -- >> jimmy: you need to get on the same page with this. it really is a problem. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you guys as sisters and both actors, do you ever go out for the same parts? >> i don't think anymore. no, even when we were younger, when she first moved to l.a., we lived together for a bit. we didn't really go out for the same parts because we're so different. so no, there wasn't very much competition. i mean, i think probably our agents were smart. if we ever were going out for the same part they didn't tell sxwlus that could be a problem. >> tricky. >> jimmy: you're running lines. will you run lines with me? you're body reading the same person. >> yeah. oh, that's a good way of saying
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that line! >> jimmy: you are not competitive? >> she actually helped me get this really [ bleep ] movie i was in once. >> jimmy: what do you mean? >> i had to sort of put myself on tape for this movie i did. and the scene was a love scene. and so we were in my kitchen. she was playing the man. and i was the woman. and i got the part. and it was awful. but she was reading lines with me. >> jimmy: okay, you were -- >> she wasn't doing a man voice, she was doing her own thing. yeah, it worked. >> jimmy: thank god. because that could be very, very uncomfortable. if one of you was successful and the other was not. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. i mean, really. >> i know. >> jimmy: this is the kind of thing that tears families apart, even more so than the steelers and the giants. >> i just met a kimmel backstage. >> jimmy: could be any of nine people. >> okay, got it. >> jimmy: describe this person for me. >> really tall, handsome, dark hair. >> jimmy: that's my son. >> really?
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>> jimmy: yeah. >> oh. >> jimmy: do you not believe me? >> he was great. i don't know. i was like -- >> jimmy: that's my son kevin. >> could be your brother. >> jimmy: it may have been my brother. he also is back there. he's also tall and handsome. but it's more likely -- did he have a beard? >> i can't remember. >> jimmy: oh. well, he must not have been that handsome if you're not paying attention to his face. when you awe edition for a bad movie, are you happy that you got the part? >> you never think, oh, this is going to be [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: you never know when you read the script and have a pretty good idea? >> no, no. >> jimmy: the title, it's probably not good, if "hot" is in the title of the movie or "heat"? >> probably. >> jimmy: has there ever been -- "cat on a hot tin" -- never mind. >> there you go. i never go into it thinking, this is going to be awful. i always go in optimistic. >> jimmy: look, my son is coming out to accept your accolades. there he is. kevin, go brush your hair!
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[ cheers and applause ] >> i love the beard. >> jimmy: now, when you are working with an actor who is a problem, matt damon, for instance. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: you know, a guy that's not necessarily popular on the set. not necessarily, i don't know what the word is, talented, maybe, is the word i was looking for. is that more of a challenge? do you find that's more difficult? >> i think you two need couples therapy. >> jimmy: we did. it didn't work. we went to couples therapy. >> no, you need more. you need someone good who's going to actually get -- >> jimmy: let's not pin this on the therapist. did you enjoy shooting this film? >> yeah. i mean, it was a little -- physically a little bit uncomfortable at times. >> jimmy: because you're wearing a space suit. >> right? >> yeah. and my space suit weighed the same -- i'm 5'2". mine weighed the same as matt damon's. >> jimmy: i see.
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he's 5'2", though, isn't he? is he taller than you? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: when you're in that thing and you have the -- you guys have the helmets on, can you hear each other? >> that's all we can hear. it's torture. >> jimmy: you're hearing yourself ringing in the thing? >> we can hear each other talking. if you go and get a coffee, take a pee, we can hear each other doing that. it's so -- whoever is taking a [ bleep ] right now, please. quiet down. >> jimmy: is that true? >> yeah. >> jimmy: they don't turn the microphones off? >> they forget. also if they turn it off then we're in our own -- it's scary. you can't hear anything. >> jimmy: it's like being in space, yeah, really, in a way. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: despite matt damon, i feel like the movie came out really great. it's a fun movie, right? >> thank god for us. >> jimmy: one technical question. when you guys are floating around through the spacecraft, how is that happening?
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>> we're just on wires. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: oh. >> it's not that exciting. yeah. >> jimmy: i was hoping it would be more interesting. >> they didn't really let matt on wires. >> jimmy: i know they don't, come to think of it. they just make him go -- >> jimmy: mr. big shot doesn't have to go on wires like the rest of the cast, like the real people, yeah. it's very good to see you. the movie's great, "the martian." it opens in theaters tomorrow. good luck to your steelers tonight. be right back with andra day! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ sdrchl . >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. .
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tv from space. [whispered] space as long as it's not too rainy. [whispered] rainy or windy. [whispered] windy or there isn't a branch in the way. [whispered] branchy welcome to the moment no one's been waiting for. the fastest internet and the best tv experience is already here with x1. only from xfinity.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i want to thank ll cool j, kate mara and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next. but first, her album is called "cheers to the fall" here with the song "rise up" andra day. ♪ you're broken down and tired of living life on a merry-go-round ♪ ♪ and you can't find the fighter but i see it in you so we gonna ♪ ♪ walk it out and whoo whoo ♪ mountains we gonna ♪ ♪ walk it out whoo whoo ♪ note all day and i'll rise up i'll rise like the day
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i'll rise up i'll rise unafraid ♪ ♪ i'll rise up and i'll do it a thousand times again whoo whoo whoo ♪ ♪ and when the service is quiet and it feels like it's getting hard to breathe ♪ ♪ and i know you feel like dying ♪ but i promise we'll take the world to its feet ♪ mountains bring it to its feet and move
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mountains ♪ and i'll rise up i'll rise like the day ♪ i'll rise up i'll rise unafraid i'll rise up ♪ and i'll do it a thousand times again ♪ ♪ whoo whoo whoo whoo ♪ all we need all we need is hope ♪ ♪ and for that we have each other and for that we have each other ♪ ♪ we will rise we will rise we will rise ♪
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♪ we will rise we'll rise i'll rise up ♪ ♪ rise like the day i'll rise up in spite of the ache i will rise a ♪ ♪ thousand times again and we'll rise up ♪ ♪ rise like the waves rise up in spite of the ache ♪ ♪ rise up and we'll do it a ♪ ♪ thousand times again sthoets for you ♪ ♪ ooh ooh ooh for you ooh ooh ooh for you ♪ ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh
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♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight, massacre on campus. >> i don't know how to feel about this, it's so scary. >> a young man goes on a shooting rampage, killing at least ten people and wounding at least seven more, at oregon's umpqua community college. new details demeremerging about attack. he married kim and kanye on "keeping up with the kardashians." the this celebrity pastor is known as much for his friends as wild sermons. >> i got a plan! >> reporter: why he and his wife are bringing a younger, cooler crowd to church. meet melania
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