right now on jimmy kimmel macklemore and ryan lewis. >> enjoy. "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight dax shepard, from fox sports, katie nolan, and music from macklemore and ryan lewis. and now, bear with us, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you very much. thanks for watching the show. thanks for coming.

[ cheers and applause ] it's good to be home. i'm glad to be back. guillermo and i were in new york for the past few days doing business. is that an accurate way to describe what we were doing? >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: it was a jampacked five days for me. not for you, really. you ate pizza most of the time. but he did call his wife and tell her he was working very hard. [ laughter ] right? did your wife ask how hard you were working? >> guillermo: yeah, 16 hours day. >> jimmy: 16 hours day. [ laughter ] we announced the new primetime shows on abc. i was on the howard stern show, i co-hosted with kelly ripa. i was on "the view." guillermo ate pizza. guillermo was on "sportscenter" offering his tutelage to host kenny mayne. >> this reminds me of when i hosted at show and i said home run in spanish. i said quadrangular. and one of the folks from deportes said the way is to say home run. is that right? >> home run. >> home run.

>> let's see some players hit home runs and see if we can do it together. it's dominican native starlin castro of the native. >> home. run. >> home. run. >> home. home. run. >> jimmy: you're a regular ben stiller. >> guillermo: home run. >> jimmy: any of you see the big megyn kelly donald trump primetime interview on fox last night? [ applause ] not too many people did. out of five networks, it came in fifth. the important thing is that wounds have been healed which is good. i'm glad they patched things up. it was difficult to watch donald and megyn fight. it's hard to watch a fight between two people with such similar hairstyles. [ laughter ] slowly but surely it seems donald trump is integrating himself into the republican party establishment. and making amends with those he steamrolled during the race,

including the increasingly sleepy trump foe turned friend dr. ben carson. >> you know, during the heat of the campaign people say all kinds of amazing things. and then they turn out being buddies. i'm sure you remember the whole voodoo economics between bush and reagan. >> i remember him saying you were a child molester too. >> exactly. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: exactly. she almost woke him up there with that. who among us hasn't called a close friend a child molester? [ laughter ] on the democratic side hillary clinton won kentucky and bernie sanders won oregon. you know, it's funny with oregon because i was thinking about it. if recreational marijuana is legal in your state, you can pretty much guarantee bernie will win it. hillary is way ahead in the delegate count, too far to catch for bernie sanders. but sanders has vowed to stay in. his campaign manager said i don't think the voters are ready for this race to be over.

oh, i disagree. i think we are all very ready. [ laughter ] democrats are -- [ applause ] there you go. democrats are concerned that sanders' campaign could alienate enough voters to hand donald trump the election. which happened with ralph nader back in 2000. bernie said listen, i'm 74 years old. i'm surrounded by college girls screaming my name. don't ruin this for me. [ laughter ] so clinton won kentucky. and sanders won oregon. and now this will be settled by whose supporters can be most annoying on facebook. good luck, everybody. [ laughter ] bill clinton was on the campaign trail in puerto rico yesterday where they asked him to weigh in on donald trump calling him one of the "worst political abusers in history." >> do you want to respond to donald trump today calling you one of the worst political abusers in u.s. history? >> jimmy: that is the happiest i've ever seen anybody.

that is the hillary is at home, i'm in puerto rico smile. [ laughter ] hillary yesterday released her finances. she made more than $5 million for book royalties and another $1.5 million from speaking fees. donald trump also filed one. it's required by law. they're calling it -- the officials are calling it inadequate. this is the form he submitted to the fec, which is -- apparently that's not good enough. but on top of that trump still hasn't released his tax returns, which is something candidates for president traditionally do. he claims to be waiting until his irs audit is finished. which is strange and kind of suspicious. but i don't blame him for wanting to keep that stuff private. the fact of the matter is donald trump is not a person who likes to talk about money. >> i'm really rich. >> i built a tremendous fortune. >> money, money. i want more money. >> my father gave me a small loan of a million dollars. i have hundreds of millions of dollars of cash. >> i borrowed $1 million and now it's worth over $10 billion.

>> i built a net worth of way over $10 billion. >> i've made billions and billions of dollars. >> billions and billions and billions of dollars. >> that's what i do. i made a lot of money. >> i made a tremendous amount of money. >> tremendous cash flow. >> i have a store that's worth more money than mitt romney. >> they said he's probably not as rich as people think. >> it turned out i'm much richer. >> much richer. >> turned out i'm much richer than anybody ever knew. >> i'm much richer than almost anybody. >> oh, did i get rich. >> jimmy: what if the reason he won't release his tax returns is because he actually doesn't have any money? he's been goofing on us. wouldn't that be rich? like he's joe millionaire. [ applause ] can i get some music and a podium? yes, slide in my podium. thank you. [ applause ] ♪ i know how you feel. i love podiumsoo.

i am running for vice president of these united states, and i am running alone, ladies and gentlemen. i don't need to be picked by a nominee. i'm my own man or woman if you prefer, and over the last few days people have come to me and said jimmy, jim, why are you running for vice president. my answer is always the same. because i love this country so much i would have sex with it. and i mean that. and i'm not afraid to disclose my financial records. in fact, i'm prepared to do that right now. yes. put that up. in 2015, you can see, plain as day i made $500 a week hosting this show. for a total of $26,000. i made $600 teaching karate lessons. and i found a $20 bill in my yoga pants. i hope that is sufficient. [ applause ] if you need my follow up, i'm happy to give it. i am the ultimate washington outsider. i probably couldn't even find washington on a map. put a map up on the wallll. let's see if i can find it. nope.

i have no idea where it is. i think it might be over there, but i'm not sure. listen, i have no idea where i am or where i am going. what i do know is that my passion is for you, the american people. and when i am vice president, i promise to put a chicken in every pot and a pot in every chicken, and -- [ applause ] if you want to show your support, please go to our website, jkforvp.com. you can get real campaign merchandise. like this one. this is a baby onesie. it says vice vice baby on the front, and on the back you can see my slogan, a good solid number two. [ applause ] put that on your child. or if there's a dwarf in your life. jason, slip into that, will you? i've already learned so much from this campaign. [ laughter ]

you know what? the fbi is going to be calling you, my friend. you can't throw stuff at the vice president. you're in a lot of trouble. more than anything, i want people to know who i am and that is why tonight i am proud to unveil my very first campaign ad. watch it and if you like what you see, share it with the americans you love. >> my story is like that of so many americans. i am the son of my parents, one of three white children born in brooklyn, raised in las vegas. my father went to work every day. doing what, we never asked. my mother cooked our meals, washed our clothes, and laid on the ground pretending to be dead until we cried. i try to instill these same values in my own family. my wife, barbara ann, and my children, jessup and barbara ann jr. my critics will say i'm unqualified, that i have no foreign policy experience, and yet i've been to cancun multiple times.

i have negotiated with cancunese. they said ocho dollars for this hoodie. i said quatro. we settled at seis. i am against terror. >> terror is bad. >> always have been. >> really bad. >> always will be. i knitted this american flag. i love people. i love talking to people. i love talking at people. my father always said no man ever learned anything by listening. now, pull my finger. it's time to stop listening and to start voting for change because together we can make today yesterday's tomorrow again. i'm jimmy kimmel, and i hit this home run in a televised softball game. >> one of the favorites, only down 2-1. he's right. watch out. watch out. home run, kimmel has it. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i paid for it. join me. as we put the i can back into

america. when we come back, dax shepard versus two men, macklemore and ryan lewis, in a battle to see who can name the most things. so stick around. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ uh oh. oh. henry! oh my. good, you're good. back, back, back. (vo) according to kelley blue book, subaru has the highest resale value of any brand. again. you might find that comforting. love. it's what makes a subaru, a subaru.

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>> jimmy: welcome back. you know, there are so many things in this world, and it's hard to keep track sometimes of what all of them are. tonight we bring you a game show that challenges famous people to identify not so famous objects. it's time to play "name that thing." [ cheers and applause ] let's meet our contestants. first from detroit, michigan the pride of the motor city, mr. dax shepard, everyone.

[ cheers and applause ] and his opponents, coming to us from the jet city, the emerald city, seattle, washington and its surrounding areas, say hello to macklemore and ryan lewis. [ cheers and applause ] macklemore, dax. macklemore, ryan. welcome to "name that thing." the rules are very simple. >> it's always two against one? >> jimmy: it's not always two against one, but we thought in this case our opponent -- our contestant is so intelligent, so highly sophisticated we needed to put two also very sophisticated but not as sophisticated highly intelligent men against him. and i hope you don't mind. this is historic. the thing is this. ryan and macklemore, you only get to give one answer. even though there are two brains combining, you cannot have two chances to answer. the object is to name the thing we show you. you get 50 points for a correct

answer. you get 10 points for a correctish answer. you get 0 points for an incorrect answer. are you ready to play? >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: let's play "name that thing." [ cheers and applause ] this item. you have 10 seconds to figure it out. start your pens. there's a conversation going between ryan and macklemore. >> ah! >> you don't go looking over here or there. >> jimmy: i didn't know they were cheaters, i guess. gentlemen -- >> please assign one of you to cheat. not both. >> jimmy: dax has his answer. ryan and macklemore writing down their answer. dax, you can go first. dax, what is that thing? >> probably not spelled right or legible, but the grappling hook. >> jimmy: that is correct. it is a grappling hook. ryan and macklemore? you say? it is a raptor toenail. i'm sorry -- >> in medieval times it was called a raptor toenail. i think they're right. >> jimmy: that is not correct, but you have another chance and

another thing. spin the wall and name that thing. you guys are musicians. this is in your wheel house. >> ooh, ooh, ooh. >> jimmy: examine that thing. as you can see, it's a musical instrument. our audience knows what it is. contestants do not. >> don't look over here. >> that's wrong, right? >> jimmy: dax has his answer. ryan has written down an answer. ryan, name that thing. ryan says it is a sitar mandolin combo. no, i'm sorry it is not. dax? dax, the time for writing has passed. >> i was simply clarifying my wrong answer. >> jimmy: a lute? it is a lute. [ applause ] >> it is? >> jimmy: very big lead. i'm going to say, also, for the record, there are no backup answers. there can only be one answer per item, please.

the fcc is always watching. our next thing is -- name this thing. >> oh. >> jimmy: you have ten seconds. ryan, macklemore, probably never seen anything like this before. everyone is busy writing. time is up. gentlemen, finish your card. dax, we'll start with you. name that thing. dax says it is a stenograph. you're absolutely correct. that is what it is. gentleman, ryan, macklemore, what do you say that thing is? you say it's hospital equipment. no, it is not hospital equipment. >> i'm pretty sure they have those in hospitals. >> jimmy: wow, dax is up -- >> did you get it right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: this game might be over already.

>> i had to reverse engineer and i said stenographer uses a what. i won't bore you next time with how i figured it out. sorry. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you did that very well. next thing, spin the wheel and the wall rather, and the next thing is -- now, this one. oh, boy. every woman in our audience knows what this is. it is not a duck. you might want to just use your last card for this one, ryan and macklemore. because -- yes. they're examining. time is almost up, folks. here we go. name that thing. dax, we'll start with you. dax has gotten all three right so far. >> i didn't get it here. >> jimmy: dax says an ouch. [ laughter ] might have to give you ten points for that. ryan, macklemore, you say -- yes, that is absolutely correct! give them 50 points.

[ applause ] so we made a game out of it. this is our final in this category. it's sudden death. i'm going to ask you to write down everything in this category that comes to mind. the category -- name as many of these in 20 seconds as you can. is cheese. write down as many kinds of cheeses as you can think of. all right? here we go. dax is off to the races. ryan seems to be doing all the work here as macklemore looks on. dax is on fire. ryan is on fire. all right. gentlemen, cap your pens. dax, let's see what do you have there? dax has -- >> colby, jack, swiss, brie, blue, goat, parmesan, american. >> one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. eight for dax.

ryan and macklemore? >> gouda, brie, cheddar, swiss, blue, sharp, cheddar, mozzarella. >> jimmy: very well done. seven points. gentleman, dax shepard is our "name that thing" champion. congratulations, dax. because you won, you get to pick one of the things you named. is there anything you can really think of that you really liked? >> let's go with the vagina opener! [ applause ] >> jimmy: all right. thanks for playing. tonight on the show music from macklemore and ryan lewis. katie nolan is here and we'll be right back with dax shepard. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ whatcha gonna do when you get outta here? ♪ ♪ i'm gonna have some fun! ♪ ♪ what do you consider fun? ♪ fun, natural fun.

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>> jimmy: tonight, she's t >> jimmy: tonight, she's the host of the emmy-winning sports

show "garbage time with katie nolan." katie nolan is here. then their album is called "this unruly mess i've made," macklemore and ryan lewis from the samsung outdoor stage. [ cheers and applause ] and you can see the boys live here in l.a. at the shrine auditorium on may 31st. tomorrow night, the great magic johnson will be here, ludacris and ciara will join us, and we'll have music from ariana grande. and on friday, we have a new show with bryan cranston, aneeka noni rose, and music from joanna newsome. so please join us. [ cheers and applause ] our first guest tonight is without a doubt one of the funniest people i know, and i know a lot of them. his credits span from "parenthood" to "punk'd" and he is now the director and star of the big screen version of "chips." please welcome dax shepard. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very happy to see you. you know, i saw your lovely and

very charming wife kristen bell, and i said i haven't seen dax in a long time. like i think it's -- >> three years probably. >> jimmy: no. not that long. >> not truly three years. but i had a kid three years ago. you've recently had a kid. so really we see each other here. this is it. this is our date night. >> jimmy: we need to cherish this time. >> we do. this is how we maintain our friendship. >> jimmy: how old are the girls now? >> because i have nothing to promote. let's call it what it is. i'm here to check in with you and make sure you don't need any money or anything. >> jimmy: it's a total social call. >> just a minimal maintenance two humans can do and call each other friends still. >> jimmy: we're not even facebook friends. >> which i do with reckless abandon. people think we're best friends because i'm so proud to be friends with you. i constantly talk about being friends with you. >> jimmy: do you really? >> what's he up to? when's the last time i was on the show? three years ago -- >> jimmy: how old are your girls? >> 3 and 1 1/2. >> jimmy: i've seen pictures. >> it's the tet offensive at home. it's hot. >> jimmy: is two a lot harder

than one? >> exponentially so, yeah. when you have one, you have a two-hour nap if things go well, and then you have -- they go to bed two hours before you. so you have a straight four hours. when you have two, there is no hours. it's just -- it's them. from sun-up to sundown. it's over. >> jimmy: they don't block it out for you? >> they don't care. >> jimmy: do they go with you when you work? >> yes. these two girls have been to more places than i had been when i was 30. i kind of resent them. yeah. it's like -- >> jimmy: where have they been? >> they've been to cuba. >> jimmy: no. >> who here has been to cuba? exactly. don't even worry about raising your hands. the rolling stones haven't been there yet. i think they're playing next month. my kids have been to cuba. >> jimmy: i don't think pitbull has been to cuba and he seems to be cuban. >> that's right. they've been to cuba more times than pitbull. >> jimmy: was that a work thing? >> my wife was shooting her show "house of lies" there. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> so i went to watch the kids.

>> jimmy: was it just you -- >> slash take her ex-stepdad out to see the historic red light district. >> jimmy: hold on. go back. does her exstep dad live in cuba? >> he lives in miami which is a skip and throw away, so we thought let's bring him in, and he and i are buddies. he loves horsepower and women. >> jimmy: what's his name? >> larry. >> jimmy: larry. >> larry. and sincerely, every meal larry eats he says with total sincerity, "i love food." as if it's the first time he's ever eaten food. it's so sincere! like he should be an actor in commercials. he could eat a paper towel and go, "mm, i love paper towels." but he's a party, this guy. larry. so kristen brought him down. and i said to kristen, you know, if time permits i wouldn't mind showing larry the seedier side of havana. >> jimmy: right.

>> and she said, well, how seedy is this tour going to be? like you'll come home with an std. >> jimmy: bad. >> and i said no. but i'd like to be within striking distance of an std. [ laughter ] be like yeah, that guy's got one. but my wife, to combat this, she gave everything we own away there. this is sincere. we came with all this luggage, toys for the kids and their clothing and everything. then we got to our next stop because we had to go directly to new orleans because she was starting a movie. i got there, opened our bags, and there's nothing in the bags. she gave it all to the people of cuba. >> jimmy: gave it -- >> she gave everything we own away. [ applause ] she didn't run it by me. she just heard they need things. so she found a charity and she gave everything we own away. so we got to new orleans, there's no diapers. there's no jammies. there's no toys. it's just a fresh do-over. >> jimmy: she didn't give larry away. did he come with you? >> larry has not been heard from in a while. i think he stayed down there. they got great food.

they really do. >> jimmy: that's what larry says. >> he loves the food down there. >> jimmy: do you think you'll have more children? >> not -- no. last year my wife was working in atlanta. we were there, and she all of a sudden goes, oh, my gosh, i'm so stupid, i've been sick for ten days and ignoring it, i'm definitely pregnant. and i was like, we're going to turn into john and kate plus eight or something. we already have no life. this is going to be not worth living. i was freaked out. it was so bad. that was tuesday. that happened on tuesday. and she had to work. so for eight hours we didn't get a pregnancy test. for eight hours i was imagining my life with all these kids. that was tuesday. i flew home wednesday for a meeting. thursday morning i had a vasectomy. >> jimmy: wow. >> i had a vasectomy. [ applause ] there's a lot of urologists in the audience. i had a vasectomy and kristen was not thrilled that i did it so quickly.

but i'm a man of action. and so -- [ laughter ] i was in and out. i was back in atlanta two days after that shooting a samsung commercial. >> jimmy: wow. what's that process like, having a vasectomy? >> it's pretty great. because they knock you out for it. p.s., the guy said you want me to check your prostate while you're out? i said you do everything anal you need to do while i'm out. [ laughter ] leave no stone unturned. i don't want to hear about any other checkups for a while. but what you have to do when you have a vasectomy is about three weeks later you have got to take your semen in to make sure that it's worked. >> jimmy: what? >> they test it to see if the semen's actually sterile or not. >> jimmy: you take it in? >> they don't provide an area there at the urology clinic to service yourself. so you have to bring in a sample. >> jimmy: okay. >> so i had an appointment at 5:00 in beverly hills, and you have to -- you have to procure your sample within two hours of

when you get there. you follow me? >> jimmy: yeah. >> they'll start dying and who will know if they were fertile? so i was working. i had a meeting scheduled at 3:00. no problem. i'll have time to go into my office, relax, extract, go to beverly hills. i brought a mason jar with me that i -- [ laughter ] rinsed with extra hot water. it was sterile, i think. so i'm in this meeting. mind you, my best friend's in the meeting with me. he knows the time crunch i'm under and the meeting's going on and on and on. all the presidents of warner brothers. and i didn't out of this meeting and the clock is ticking. all of a sudden i'm out of the meeting. i have 15 minutes to get from burbank to beverly hills and procure my sample. this is the god's truth. i had to drive cross-town, rush hour. thank god there was heavy traffic on laurel canyon. so it slowed down enough that i could -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: really? >> i literally masturbated on

laurel canyon in heavy traffic. [ applause ] into -- you're not just dealing with that. it would be one thing you're just like oh. you know, loosey-goosey. just go for it. but i have a jar. and you know, it's heavy traffic. it's very curvy for you all who have not been on laurel canyon. it's one of the twistier roads in america. it's hard enough to get through that road while not make love to yourself. into a container. >> jimmy: wow. >> anyways, the great news is i'm sterile. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: dax shepard, everybody. we'll be right back. hey there, can i help you with anything? hey siri, what's at&t's latest offer? oh, i don't think that siri can... right now, switch to at&t for an iphone and get one free. wow, is that right? yeah, it's basically... yes. that is the current offer from at&t. okay siri, you don't know everything.

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>> jimmy: we're back with dax shepard. katie nolan is on the way. the last time you were here you were getting ready to shoot the movie "chips," which you directed. you wrote it -- >> yes. i wrote it. >> jimmy: you star in it. >> yes. it's an ego bonanza. >> jimmy: michael pena plays ponch. >> i even did one of the stunts so in the credits it would say stunt man dax shepard. just as a last -- >> jimmy: when does the movie come out? >> august of '17. >> jimmy: oh, wow.

>> just enough time for all the topical jokes to not be funny anymore. it's going to be great. >> jimmy: are you worried someone else is going to make another "chips" movie? >> i don't think my election jokes are going to be as poignant. someone could make another "chips" i suppose. >> jimmy: you have to be careful. >> you really do. >> jimmy: this was a photograph taken at the premiere of "game of thrones." >> that's kristen and i. you can't read these. they say "stark in the streets, wildling in the sheets." i found them on etsy. we're also wearing tons of "game of thrones" tattoos. now, this is a formal event. everyone there is in black tie except for us two hillbillies in our tank tops and tons of tattoos. and when we were together, it was awesome. i felt like the belle of the ball. we were so popular. i felt wonderful. we got separated. she started talking to somebody, and then i saw lisa bonet, who's probably my all-time crush of all time.

from "cosby show" and "angel heart." i love her. so i saw her. i've met her maybe twice. we've been at the party long enough where i'm comfortable in my tank top and tattoos. so i'm not really thinking of it. i go up to her and start talking, say hi to her. and it's not the warm reception i've had in the past. and then i just realize like oh, my god, i'm in a tank top. i have bad tattoos all over my neck. i'm not with kristen. i look insane. i look like they let a crazy person in. so midway i'm like -- and how have you -- i've got to get my wife over here. hold on. i'm like, kristen, get over here. so lisa bonet doesn't think i'm crazy. >> jimmy: but she did. >> she came over. >> jimmy: one last question. did you think of lisa bonet in that car on laurel canyon? [ laughter ] >> you know, that's between me and that car and the 600 people in traffic around me. [ applause ] >> jimmy: dax shepard. "chips" comes out in a really long time. coming up next is katie nolan. ♪

[ cheers and applause ]

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>> jimmy: we're back. still to come music from macklemore and ryan lewis. our next guest went from boston area bartender to blogger to host of her newly emmy-awarded "garbage time with katie nolan." it airs at midnight wednesdays on fox sports 1. tonight it's at 12:30 so you can watch her right now. please welcome katie nolan. [ cheers and applause ] how are you doing? congratulations on your emmy. you just won an emmy award. that's exciting. >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you expect to win? >> no. >> jimmy: you didn't. >> no, not at all. >> jimmy: were you prepared? did you thank everyone that needed to be thanked? >> nope. >> jimmy: who did you miss? >> everyone. every person. >> jimmy: you didn't thank anyone? >> parents. i missed everyone. >> jimmy: really? >> so i was backstage because i was presenting a couple awards that night i had to do first.

i didn't know when our category was up. the category was outstanding social tv experience. which is real. i looked it up. >> jimmy: what does that mean? social tv experience. >> that we are on tv, outstanding and social in experience things. i don't really know. but so i was backstage getting ready to present, and they mentioned -- started reading the people in my category that i knew we were up against. i was like oh, wait, that's funny. i recognize those shows. and they were like, and the winner is katie nolan and "garbage time." i have no idea what happened next. i think i screamed. i may have collapsed, and then kevin burkhart, who -- he works on fox with me. i was presenting with. he's like you have to go up and you have to go get your emmy. >> jimmy: you didn't even go out there. >> no. i was like that's so cool. they were like go. >> jimmy: you do have to go get it. they make you go get it yourself. >> i learned that. it's a learning experience. >> jimmy: did you carry it around with you the whole rest

of the night? >> i didn't let anybody take it from me. >> jimmy: i don't blame you. >> you go offstage and someone's like okay, i'll take that. and i was like, no. the guy said no, that's a problem. you don't get to keep that one. >> jimmy: you did something with your emmy that i've never seen anyone do before. this is very innovative. >> go katie go. >> jimmy: you attached a beer glass to it. [ applause ] >> so i did not put it down for the entire night. you were supposed to leave it. because they would engrave it. but i said i wanted to take it with me. because it's my first emmy, probably my last. i want to keep it forever. i brought it to the bar, and the president of fox sports, eric shanks, was like too bad you can't chug out of it, huh? and i was like, don't challenge me with a good time. so i put my -- >> jimmy: this guy eric shanks sounds like some president of a network. i mean, really. [ laughter ] >> he just knows me well and knows if it were a stanley cup, i would have drank out of it. >> jimmy: right. maybe you'll get the stanley cup next. >> that's the next goal.

>> jimmy: this show for those who haven't seen it, explain the idea -- >> so for everyone. because no one's seen it. >> jimmy: the idea you that could just move the show back a half hour tonight so people can watch you on it. it's not very rigid. let's put it that way. >> or you're a huge deal. you got to look at it from that view. [ applause ] >> jimmy: we'll go with the former. either way. >> we wouldn't move it for just anybody. no other jimmy. >> jimmy: you really moved it for yourself. let's be honest. >> yes, a little. because if our viewers want to watch this there's no way they're watching that. we're super low budget, just a tiny little show. our studio is probably 1/80 the size of this place. it's smaller than my green room here. >> jimmy: is it really? >> yes. it's sports comedy. it's fun. we don't take ourselves too seriously. we make athletes do funny stuff and put them in weird situations. >> jimmy: it is a funny show. it catching on. it's once a week on wednesday night very late, but i feel like i see a lot of stuff from it. >> that's because i e-mail you incessantly.

>> jimmy: is this what you studied in college? this is what you were planning to do? >> no. i studied public relations. >> jimmy: okay. >> so i have a degree in that if anyone wants it. i don't need it. >> jimmy: you don't need that. >> it doesn't do much for me -- >> jimmy: is your family a big sports family? family big sports fans? >> are you nervous? >> jimmy: i'm nervous, yeah. i'm not really around emmy winners that often. [ laughter ] >> my family, huge sports fans. because we're from boston. everybody is. my dad is the kind of fan who when the team does poorly one time immediately is like red sox are done this season. my mom is the opposite. she's very superstitious. she never -- she made me watch an entire game in the bathroom once because i was in the bathroom when big papi hit a home run. so therefore, if i were to leave the bathroom we would lose. >> jimmy: how many innings were you in there? >> six. >> jimmy: six innings in the bathroom with mom. >> an early home run for us to be that superstitious. >> jimmy: if you ever write a book that would be a good title, "six innings in the bathroom with mom."

so mom's really the bigger fan. >> she was a bartender in boston for most of my life. in order to be able to interact with her customers she just really got into sports because that helped her get more tips. her and my father have season tickets to the boston bruins. and if the bruins are losing she'll make my dad get up from his seat that he paid for and walk around the garden instead of watching the game. and now she's got the other people in our section like "go ahead, mike, why are you still here? get up." he leaves. which would be mean but he's okay with it because he's always looking for an excuse to get another hot dog. he's like darn. >> jimmy: if they're losing, it's his fault. >> right. >> jimmy: congratulations on your success. the show is on after this. it's called "garbage time with katie nolan." wednesday nights at midnight on fox sports 1. we'll be right back with macklemore and ryan lewis.

>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. what if there was a paint that made you look at paint differently question everything you know

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>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i want to thank dax shepard, katie nolan and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next, but first their album is called "this unruly mess i've made." here with the song "dance off," macklemore and ryan lewis. ♪ ♪ i challenge you to a dance off ♪ ♪ hands off, no trash talk no back walk on the black top ♪ ♪ just me, you, dance off ♪ no cat calls, no tag teams no, mascots ♪ ♪ right now dance off ♪ get down the floor get down the get down the floor, go ♪ ♪ get down the floor do it come on and get down the floor, go ♪ ♪ i grab my ankle and pull it up and do that thing where i move my butt ♪ ♪ i got the juice mother don't use it up i say woo there it is then loosen my tux ♪ ♪ then i shimmy, shimmy shimmy, shimmy, shimmy to the left ♪ ♪ shimmy, shimmy, shimmy shimmy, shimmy to the right ♪ ♪ gimme, gimme, gimme everything that you got dance off do the damn thing right ♪ ♪ she got loose elbows and a big ol' neck i like a big boned girl who could work up a sweat ♪

♪ i rock shelltoes and a turtleneck she just wanna talk i said i ain't ted ♪ ♪ your grandma that's a bad mama jama ♪ ♪ she doing the banana grabbing my trunk like a hammock ♪ ♪ mmm she like the funk dammit she can handle it ♪ ♪ she tugging i'm feeling a little bit inadequate dance off ♪ ♪ your grandpa got a like a ham hock hella old, hella long looking like matlock ♪ ♪ damn dog i don't even wanna have a standoff ♪ ♪ he drunk talkin' 'bout he 'bout to take his pants off dance off ♪ ♪ the hater with the macarena i can roger rabbit in my office space ♪ ♪ watch my face like i'm concentrating ♪ ♪ constipated when i walk this way ♪ ♪ i challenge you to a dance off hands off ♪ no trash talk no back walk on the black top ♪ ♪ just me, you, that's all no cat calls no tag teams no mascots ♪ ♪ one, two, one, two, three ♪ get on the floor ♪ get on the get on the floor ♪ get on the floor ♪ come sxon get on the floor ♪ okay

♪ i sneak up behind you like a panther who ordered the private dancer ♪ ♪ can i get an amen from the pastor pulled the old do you want a back rub ♪ ♪ you must heard like grey poupon swag on tap like sabian ♪ ♪ jump on the tablecloth fake a fall pretend to break my arm then i'm breaking you off ♪ ♪ but please don't tell my baby's mum i wanna dance all night 'til the break of dawn ♪ ♪ i wanna sweat, sweat sweat, sweat 'til your make-up's gone ♪ ♪ baby girl, you looking like a champion hey you, you there get up out of your chair ♪ ♪ paid twenty bucks to get in this club put your cellphone down you square ♪ ♪ i be going in i can't help it i got bruises on my pelvis ♪ ♪ ladies, fellas don't drunk dial your exes ♪ ♪ hello, bouncer i have a job for you while i'm dancing watch my shoes ♪ ♪ tonight is the night that we rendezvous sweat a fountain of youth bust a move ♪ ♪ fringe jacket pants of leather tank top spandex and pleather ♪ ♪ been a stressful week i got a lot of pressure you have a lot of great moves but mine are better ♪ ♪ i challenge you to a dance off ♪ ♪ we need two people from the audience to have a danceoff

right now ♪ >> come on! you first. one, two, one, twos, three, go! ♪ get on the floor ♪ get on the get on the floor ♪ get on the, get on the floor ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> give it up one time for the danceoff! ♪

tonight, explosive allegations against johnny depp, accused of domestic violence throughout his 15-month marriage to amber heard. the actress claiming he threw a cell phone at her face in a drunken rage, trashing their apartment. tonight what the hollywood star is saying. plus justin bieber, accused of ripping off his mega hit, "sorry". an indie musician calling foul. did he lift this riff from "ring the bell?" >> and finally, texting, gaming, snap chatting. some teens using their phones 12 hours. is this an addiction, first, the night line five. >> constipated?