. thanks for joining us >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight john stamos & bob saget from "detroiters", tim robinson, and music from snakehips & mø. and now, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: thank you for coming. i'm the host. thanks for watching. thanks to all of you here for coming. it's spring break. how many of you here in the audience tonight are visiting from out of town, you flew here

to be -- >> okay, quite a few. >> jimmy: i'm glad none of you were yanked off your plane. have you seen the video of the guy getting dragged off the united flight yesterday in chicago? they overbooked a flight to louisville. i've been to 100 games and stadiums with 50,000 seats. they never sell the same seat two times to one person, but for some reason, airlines can't figure this out. so when they have more passengers than seats, they offer incentives to get people to volunteer to not fly, and you get a voucher. in this case they offered the people $400 and a hotel. they upped it to $800 and no takers. so they randomly selected four passengers to be removed from the plane. three of them got up begrudgingly and got off. one of the passengers said he was a doctor and had to be at the hospital in the morning, so

he refused to deplane, and this is how that refusal went., but might be the worst part. the ceo of united released a statement via twitter. this is what the ceo tweeted. this is an upsetting event to all of us at united. i apologize for having to reaccommodate these customers. he said reaccommodate. it's like we reaccommodated el chapo out of mexico. [ applause ] >> jimmy: that is such sanitized say nothing take no responsibility corporate b.s. speak. i don't know how he didn't vomit when he sent that out. when you break this down, a man was forcibly dragged off a flight because they oversold it. you that happens, i don't know. and by the way, they almost certainly could have gotten volunteers by offering more

money. go up to 1000,000. who cares. it's not the passenger's fault that you sold too many tickets on your plane. imagine if this happened at applebee's. imagine if you sit down, order your three cheese chicken meal, fine, 20 minutes later the waiter comes over and says sorry, we have another party coming and we need this chair. either you leave or we'll make you leave. you say i don't want to leave. i ordered my food, and they drag you out. you wouldn't eat there again. the next time this happens, if one flight is a dollar less than the other ones, that's the one we'll pick. they know this. that's why we're stuck with them. the only other choice is the bus, so united didn't even admit they did anything wrong. if anything, they seemed to be doubling down on this. >> we're united airlines.

you do what we say when we say, and there won't be a problem. if we say you fly, you fly. if not, tough [ bleep ]. >> look at what you did to him. >> give us a problem, and we'll drag your ass off the plane. and if you do this, we'll beat you so badly you'll be using your own face as a flotation device. you nig united airlines, [ bleep ] you. >> jimmy: wow. those are the friendly skies. in washington d.c. today after this long and contentious battle, neil gorsuch was swo in as the hotter new member of the supreme court. meanwhile, america garland got a job as an assistant manager. he was alone in the basement lip

syncing the oath along with gorsuch. this man is now on the supreme court. it means his name is an important part of american history, and here is how everyone has been pronouncing that name. >> gorsuch. >> judge gorsuch. >> judge gorsuch. >> judge gorsuch. >> neil gorsuch. >> neil gorsuch. >> judge neil gorsuch. >> judge gorsuch. >> neil gorsuch. >> judge gorsuch. >> i, neil m. gorsuch. >> everyone says gorsuch. everyone except, that is, for him. >> i, neil. gorsuch. >> they asked this man $ $ $ $ questions. no no one bothered to ask him his name. so congratulations to neil gorsuch who as a result of being sworn in now gets to live probably every american's fantasy, being able to wear a robe to work. >> jimmy: steph curry is getting hammered on social media for his

new shoe. he has a new shoe. this is it. it's called the curry blood leather shoe. people hate it. they say it looks like a couch, a dad show, the interior of an old car. i guess that's bad. are these any worse than any of the other shoes? this is the adidas kobe 2. it's like little school buses on your feet. >> these are shaq shoes. they look like some kind of wedding cake in space. this is another one, the color of thousand island dressing. another one, big versions of shoes you wore when you were three. these are from louis vuitton. it looks like someone got blood on a nurse's shoe. all these shoes are crazy looking. what makes those good and this is the bad one?

i don't know. do we really need new shoe designs? i feel like we could make one of the 7,000 we already have work. right, guillermo? thank you. at long last what they call the teaser trailer for the new "thor" movie is here. it's great. he got a haircut. i like the old thor with the hair. this particular chapter of the marvel universe, not only does it target a young fan base. it also appeals to an older generation by giving a state of the art look while paying tribute to the past. it's a great combination. look at this. >> is dead sfwlchlt. >> don't do that. >> it will bring death pestilen pestilence. >> just from doing this? >> i give you your incredible

>> yeah. >> see what i'm saying? >> jimmy: all right. we are going to take a break. but let's go out to hollywood boulevard. we're going to play a game called which one doesn't belong. now, that family is a family for the most part, except one of those people, cousin sal. >> yes, one of them. >> jimmy: is not a part of the family. wen we come back, i will try to guess which, and then that person will be orphaned, i guess. we'll be right back to play which one wasn't belong. stick around.

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>> jimmy: welcome back. >> jimmy: tonight on the show, music from snakehips and mø, tim robinson is here. >> in florida a company called fresh express. have you seen the prepackaged salads at the grocery store. the dressing and everything is in the bag. fresh express just had to recall, like, i don't know, hundreds of containers of spring mix, because there was a dead bat in a package. yeah. that's what the people who opened it said. the company recalled 600 cases. the victim bought the product at walmart in florida. while they have no idea how the bat got in the bag. they know the odds of this happening in florida were exactly 100%. they didn't even have to trace

it. they just knew. maybe it wasn't a bat. maybe it was a vampire in bat form. maybe they killed dracula and should be celebrating. while we're on the subject of flying creatures and death. this is the scene of a funeral where the releasing of white doves was a bad idea. >> i too have been set free. lift up your hearts and share with me. and god set you free. here we go. the >> jimmy: now it's a holy duo, i guess. the lord works in mysterious ways. all right. let's go out on the street. we're going to play this game.

okay. so one of the people in this lineup is pretending to be a member of that family. what my job is is to determine which person is the imposter, okay? and so sal, where is this family from? do we know anything about them? >> they're from new york. i don't think that gives it away, but you can go from there. >> jimmy: most of these people are from there. i suppose it could be coincidence they are all from there. let's start with the dad. how are you? >> fine. >> jimmy: you have the whole gang? >> all. >> jimmy: you love these kids? >> to death. >> jimmy: you love them all? >> of course. mo >> jimmy: equally? >> well, kind of. >> jimmy: okay. all right. go through the ages of your kids. run it down, real quick. >> all right. >> jimmy: that was well done. >> thank you. >> jimmy: nolan, what does your dad do for a living?

>> she'she's a dentist. >> jimmy: jack, how long as your dad been a dentist? >> i don't know. >> jimmy: you know what? i still don't know what my dad does, so i'm not ruling him out for that. jack, does your dad ever look at your teeth? >> yes. >> jimmy: and how do they look? >> beautiful braces. >> jimmy: did your dad put the braces on you? then i know jack is a member of that family because an orthodontist would have done that. >> jimmy: hannah, what about you, do you have braces? >> yes. >> jimmy: are you and jack twins? >> no. >> jimmy: are you related? >> yes. >> jimmy: give him a kiss. watch him. watch his face. see if he gets a red face. he's staying white.

it's a pretty white family we have there. valerie has different colored hair. that makes me think that it's probably her, but that could have been done to throw me off. valerie, what grade are you in? >> a senior. >> jimmy: do you like being in upstate new york? >> i love it. >> jimmy: what do you love about it? >> nothing. i hate it. >> jimmy: huh. i'm stumped. well, maybe it's -- could it be mark -- no. maybe it is mark that's the father. mark, i'm going to guess mark. you are not -- are you the imposter? >> no. >> jimmy: oh. all right. well, if you are the imposter, raise your hand. okay. i thought it might work, but it didn't. no. all right. we have jack. we have hannah. nolan, i'm going to guess that you are the imposter. >> yes. >> jimmy: you are the imposter?

wow. very well-done, nolan. nolan, are you -- do you have a family? are you a run away? >> no, i'm not. >> jimmy: where are you from? >> cottage grove, minnesota. >> jimmy: so you don't even know these people? >> well, i don't know. >> jimmy: okay. >> trying to get in on the free braces. >> jimmy: all right. nolan, we have prizes for all of you. >> for the real family, we have a gift certificate to the sizzler. and for nolan, a >> jimmy: all right. there you go. i don't know. i guess that's it. all right. i think i won. did i win? i guess i didn't win. guillermo, did i win? >>. >> guillermo: no. >> jimmy: we have a special show tonight. music from snakehips and mø, tim robinson is here.

and we'll be right back to remember don rickles with john stamos and bob saget. stick around. ♪ ♪ corolla with toyota safety sense standard toyota let's go places

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>> jimmy: welcome back. tonight he's a very funny guy, he's the co-creator and star of the show "detroiters" on comedy central, tim robinson is here. then their song is called "don't leave" and hopefully they won't. snakehips and mo from the mercedes-benz stage. tomorrow night richard gere will be here, kelly oxford will join us, and we will have music from the shins. and later this week armie hammer, judd apatow, tony goldwyn, charlize theron, plus music from john mayer and romeo santos. please join us for all that. my first guests tonight met in a make believe living room with a make believe family but their love is real and strong here to share some memories of our friend don rickles, please welcome john stamos and bob saget.

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you for coming. it's good to have you guys here. i've been thinking about you guys. >> your tribute was beautiful last week. >> jimmy: well, i was thinking about you guys and how close you were, i mean, really, like family with don. which one of you did he like better? let's just start with that. john? do you think john was the favorite? >> well, he called his s the tamos. he never got his name right. and john got close with him first. i think he took him back to an older time of show business when people were like john, handsome and smart, and didn't talk about show business. talked about family.

that's why "full house" will never go off the air. >> jimmy: how did you meet don? >> i was at a greek restaurant. i sat next to him. it was about 15 or 17 years ago. it was before his renaissance, his resurgence. it was interesting to sort of be by his side to watch him get the accolades he deserved. i think after the documentary, people saw he's still alive and still the funniest man on the planet. >> jimmy: that's a great opportunity to watch, "mr. warmth". it really covered his career, the beginning part of his career, which, you know, even, like, for me, i loved him on the tonight show. but i didn't know about all the stuff that preceded that. >> i became in love with him at 17 years old. i snuck into the latin casino in new jersey. i was underage. i got arrested. but i just loved him from the tonight show, and i loved him from anything he ever did, the roasts.

his way of roasting was like nobody else's. it was not done mean spirited. he did it out of love, but when he was mean to you, it was like a privilege. it was like a gift. >> it really was. >> jimmy: a great not too many people you're thrilled when they say something mean to you. i can't really think of anyone else. >> but for every mean thing he said in his career, he said two nice things, and he loved you, jimmy. it maid de me jealous. mo >> jimmy: i know you talked on the phone with him. it was like a fatherly relationship. >> i didn't stay up late to watch him on carson, i was aware of him. but we started out talking act -- i never said he was like a father figure. that was for him to say. i tread lightly on those words, but we talked about that. he really wanted me to find a girl, and -- >> jimmy: a woman. >> a woman. he said stop dating teenagers.

>> jimmy: and john -- >> he did. he told me the same thing. >> the problem is when he did that joke, he said nine-year-olds. i was like nine? >> he dated a nine-year-old. that's sick. that's not appropriate. right? that's wrong, people. >> jimmy: but you made him so happy, because you didn't just find a woman. you found thousands of women. >> no. he was so happy. >> jimmy: women everywhere. >> don would say he had a little clicker. no, he wouldn't, because it would have got an laugh. >> jimmy: i won't let you off the hook either. he was obsessed with you guys settling down. >> yes. he was worried about bob. >> rightfully so. >> what are we going to do with saget. >> jimmy: why do you say he was worried about bob? >> look at him. >> this is what he said about my come comedy. this is going to be foul. well, he would say that i would come out and i'd look like a

jewish clark kent. he would tell this to his contemporaries. he would say you know what bob saget does in his act? he comes out like a jewish clark kent. and he would sing a song and the monkey [ bleep ] the dog and the dog [ bleep ] the monkey. and i said i didn't do that. >> no, and he did and it [ bleep ] bob. >> jimmy: how many times between the two of you did you have dinner with don? >> a lot. >> when i first started hanging out with him, it was just me, him and barbara, his beautiful wife. >> who we send so much love to right you. a lot of love to that family. >> when you ask barbara or don, you say how are you? he'd say we're fine. she would say we're fine. >> jimmy: and barbara knew every

story. >> she would just push her glasses off. she takes off her bra and her head hits the sink. >> with her jewelry. >> the jewelry weighs her down in the pool. >> i remember barbara would be having a conversation with my wife or whomever she was sitting next to, and don would be telling a story, and he would get stuck in a detail, and you wouldn't think barbara would be listening, and she would say it. filling in the blanks. >> and we'll have another round. >> he would say johnny, give me that cookie, and she would say you can't have a cookie. i'd give him the cookies. then i'd stick him the bill and go home. >> i had a dinner story with him. john wouldn't make it. i think he was busy dating a nine-year-old. >> by the way, the great thing was i finally met a beautiful woman i am madly in love with. don got to meet her and approve her. >> same thing with me, and it's

the same woman which is ironic. but we both met women at the same time, and mine is actually a woman. so is yours. i mean -- what? i mean. >> for my age. i'm your senior. i'll tell you this briefly. i wanted to tell this story. we're at dinner at craig's who e-mailed me and said please mention me on the air. so we're at dinner there, and it's barbara, don and me, or i, i don't know, i don't care. and they bring out these little hot dogs wrapped in dough. he liked hip. he's eating one and she goes don, where did you get that. he goes where did i get it? the it's a restaurant. but i ordered it. she gets up. she's mad. she goes to the bathroom. to make him laugh, that's a big gift. this is one that i'll always remember. so she gets up and goes to the bathroom, and i said you got to

get out of this. and the man hit the table. and then he smacked me. did he ever smack you in the? >> jimmy: many times. >> he didn't love comics, but he loved you too. when i first started bringing bob around, i was like keep the comics away, but slowly he started to really love bob, and you could make him laugh. >> it was just really hard for me. what you did the other night is how i feel right now, because i just -- and i don't like doing it in front of people, but i just love third down guy. >> jimmy: i don't want to upset you. >> no, you are. you are. >> jimmy: i do want the say about the two of you, john stamos and bob saget between the cookies and the hot dogs, killed don rickles. we'll be right back with these murders after this. hey frankie, whatchu got there? it's an italian hero from subway.

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>> good evening mr. president, nice to see you, and your lovely wife nancy. it's a treat to me to fly from california to be here for this kind of money.

>> that's don rickles with the reagans. so don, i would -- if i had to guess, i'd say you were at hundreds of dinners with don. he had kind of a rotation to stories. if there was somebody new at the table, he would share them. what's your favorite? there were some he only told with very small groups. is there one that comes to mind? >> it would be a frank story. you tell it. you know everything. >> he's told that story. >> jimmy: i think that's what people know most. >> i knew a secret. we had the same audio video guy. all his pass words were hitler. >> okay. a year ago we were at -- >> jimmy: that's excellent. >> that's really easy to figure out. we were at a theater, and he performed. at that time he wouldn't stand. and so he was in the chair.

and we were all there. he got up one time in the act. one time. it was planned. and it was to goose -- he stood up and put the mustache on. this is a man. he spent all his energy to stand up and share just to walk across the stage to goose step. >> were you ever at a show where he did his act, and he said the asian person there and the mexican person, and the lights come up, there was no asian person. he might have been there. were you there, guillermo? >> guillermo: i was there. yeah. >> i mean, he was the best. i have to say it's been the highlight of my life to have spent time with him. >> that's the truth. >> jimmy: you spoke to bob newheart today? >> i did. and i said you know, you're it now, so we're going to take you to dinner. he said i'm attracted to your wife, jenny. and he said oh, that's an age

difference. so we are going to take him to dinner. >> we have to find a new person. >> well, bob is pretty cool. >> jimmy: don is already being replaced? >> i was emotional. i need someone to take his place. >> jimmy: this is not american idol or the voice. >> the last time i talked to him was, i guess, it was five weeks ago. i called him and said how are you feeling. he said what do i have to do to get you out of my life? >> that was it. >> so i did apparently have something to do with it. >> jimmy: he did a little one on one thing, not just with people he knew, but also with everyone he passed. i got so many messages on twitter and e-mails of people saying, like, i was a page standing in the hall at nbc, and he said wipe that stupid smile off your face. it was a nice little gift, something people could tell their families something about don rickles. it's like the pope, you want to be touched on the head, and in this case, you want to be insulted by don as he walks by.

>> i was thinking as we were holding hands getting ready to come out here, he wanted so gad b bad to get a kennedy honor. >> jimmy: he thought he had offended the family. >> he said something to joe kennedy about hookers and handguns. >> he's been dead for, what, 70 years. >> he said before i die, i hope i get an honor. >> jimmy: that would be a lovely thing. >> i e-mailed someone at the kennedy center. it was a random thing. no, i e-mailed them because i did a roast of james carville there. >> do you have any other guests because, bob -- >> are you saying shut up? >> i never thought we'd be friends this long. my god, the first four years we worked together, we weren't

besties. you had a mullet. i was a married guy in the palisades. you were getting action all the time. >> you were a oneny jew. >> jimmy: you guys are going to be like the old guys on the muppets. >> i hope that happens. >> jimmy: me too. >> jimmy: we'll be right back with tim robinson.

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>> jimmy: our next guest teamed up with his close friend to make a tv show on comedy central, i've done that. it works. the show is called "detroiters" the season finale airs tomorrow night. please welcome tim robinson.

♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i don't know if you know this, but i was looking around on netflix one flight, and i saw your comedy special. they have a thing called the character. i thought it was one of the funniest things i'd ever seen. i said we have to get him on the show. they said he already has a show and it's called kwk kwk kwk kwkk kwkt. sam, your partner, is on veep also. you started out together in detroit? >> we started when it was downtown, second city detroit. i went to snl. he came out and started veep. and then we started at comedy central. >> jimmy: that's exciting. and you shoot it in detroit? >> that's right. >> jimmy: is that a problem for you, shooting a show in your hometown? because you have a very entanglements when you shoot somewhere where you live.

>> for sure, to go home to work, sometimes your parents don't remember that, and they're like, um, well, monday is your cousin's birthday, so you got to go there, and your grandmother's awfully mad at you. man, i shouldn't have come home. >> jimmy: you might want to just shoot the exteriors there and put the rest in l.a. >> like martin did. >> jimmy: yeah, right. it's a great idea, the show. you are ad executives. very dumb ad executives. a lot of times they'll have one dumb guy and one smart guy. you did it differently. you have two very dumb guys who make local tv commercials. >> yeah. >> jimmy: are these inspired by real local tv commercials in detroit? >> absolutely. a lot of the ones we've done on the show are almost direct ripoffs of ones that really exist. >> jimmy: it's hard to make them funnier than they really are. >> it is. >> jimmy: i love it.

detroit has ggood what's one of the bests? >> the owner of an eyeglass store used to dance in the commercials. and people kind of liked the dancing, and he was like yeah, the dancing is sexy. we'll call him sexy specks now on. his kmecommercials were he'd go around the town dancing saying sexy specs. we did one on that called hunky specks. >> jimmy: do you ever hear from him? >> i think that guy is too proud to reach out. >> jimmy: you did something -- you gave us a vision i never thought i would see. rick, not just a member of the bad boys of the pistons, maybe the baddest of the bad boys. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah.

but lambir, if they were prison mates, he would come out on top. >> that's interesting. >> jimmy: i've given it a lot of thought. you got him in a commercial. you do this ridiculous commercial. >> the character he plays tomorrow night is based on a real detroit commercial called mall far superstar. he's a guy who played for the lions but then he had a car dealership in detroit. he wore a cape and would be like come on down for a far better deal, and then he'd fake fly off, because he was a superhero. so we did a quick mahornmahornma deer born. >> jimmy: had rick acted before? >> he had done other commercials before. and when we called him to do it, we were so nervous. i grew up watching him. and i loved him. so i was nervous to pitch to him and stuff and be like this is what it is. at first i was like you're still

in detroit. there was a long pause and he was like 24/7, baby. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: so that's a yes? >> yeah. and then even onset, you know, we'd -- we made him wear some outfits and stuff. i don't want to ruin it, but he'd be onset and performing in these crazy costumes. they'd call cut, and he'd come over and be like i'm going to find out what bar you guys hang out at and beat your asses. and then he would go back and do it. >> jimmy: when you were working with him, did he feel comfortable as an actor? i think we have a still photograph of him in his costume, right? >> yeah. >> jimmy: did he take this outfit home? >> he brought it with him. >> jimmy: he is going to beat your ass when he gets home. >> i know. >> jimmy: are there other local

commercials you have your eye on or have you done them all? >> there's definitely other ones we haven't hit that we'd like to try to hit next season. there's one, it's an awesome store, it's clothing and shoes and stuff. but back when i was a kid, they had this deal that was 29 or two for 50. and then you could get these things for that. but to show it, they had an animated man pop in. it was little animation, but we would come in and be like these boots, 29 or two for 50. we want to get him in there sometime. he's the best. >> jimmy: i understand he's there 24/7. >> that's mahorn. >> jimmy: i got it mixed up. congratulations on the show. you picked up for a second season. the >> jimmy: tim robinson! the season finale of "detroiters" airs tomorrow night at 10:30 on comedy central. and we shall return with music from snakehips & mø.

>> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.

>> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: i want to thank john stamos, bob saget, tim robinson, and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. nightline is next but first, here with the song "don't leav"" snakehips and mø! ♪ you know me now and then i'm a mess ♪ ♪ please don't hold that against me i'm a girl with a temper and heat ♪ ♪ i know i can be crazy but i'm not just a -- up i'm the -- up you need ♪ ♪ i don't hear nobody when you focus on me perfectly imperfect, yeah i hope that you see ♪ ♪ tell me you see 'cause i know that you've been thinking 'bout it ♪ ♪ don't leave shut your mind off and let your heart breathe ♪ ♪ you don't need

to be worried i may not ever get my stuff together ♪ ♪ but ain't nobody gonna love you better don't go ♪ ♪ what we have here is irreplaceable no, i won't trade this for nothing ♪ ♪ i may not ever get my stuff together ♪ ♪ but ain't nobody gonna love you better than me, yeah ♪ ♪ love you better than me ♪ in a room full of people with you i don't see anybody else, no ♪ ♪ when we fight and you're right so sorry i make it just so difficult ♪ ♪ but i'm not just a -- up i'm the mess up you love we ain't like nobody else tell me so what ♪ ♪ perfectly imperfect yeah, baby, that's us baby, that's us ♪

♪ 'cause i know that you've been thinking 'bout it ♪ ♪ don't leave shut your mind off and let your heart breathe ♪ ♪ you don't need to be worried i may not ever get myself together ♪ ♪ but ain't nobody gonna love you better ♪ ♪ don't go what we have here is irreplaceable ♪ ♪ no, i won't trade this for nothing i may not ever get myself together ♪ ♪ but ain't nobody gonna love you better ♪ ♪ sitting in the living room you look at me i stare at you ♪ ♪ i see the doubt i see the love i have and it is all for you ♪ ♪ let me wrap myself around you, baby let me tell you you are everything you are ♪ ♪ losing my words i don't know where to start ♪ ♪ but baby don't leave me shut your mind off and let your heart hear me ♪ ♪ i won't trade this for nothing

i may not ever get myself together ♪ ♪ but ain't nobody gonna love you better ♪ ♪ don't leave shut your mind off and let your heart breathe ♪ ♪ you don't need to be worried i may not ever get myself together ♪ ♪ but ain't nobody gonna love you better ♪ ♪ there ain't nobody gonna love you better than me ♪ ♪ don't go what we have here is irreplaceable ♪ ♪ no, i won't trade this for nothing i may not ever get myself together ♪ ♪ but ain't nobody gonna love you better than me, yeah love you better than me ♪

tonight, unfriendly skies. a passenger forcefully removed from a united airlines flight dragged by aviation police and left bloody. after being chosen at random to give up his seat. eyewitness accounts from inside the plane and what the airline is saying tonight. is it legal to use such extreme force to resolve a seating issue? plus dixie disgrace. >> it is time for me to step down. >> the tale that turned the governor of alabama into a pariah pleading guilty to misusing funds to allegedly cover up an affair with his one-time top adviser 30 years his junior. the secretly recorded conversations tonight.