>> thanks for joining us. jimmy kimel live is next. >> have a good night. od night. od night. od night. od night. od night. od night. od night. od night. od night. od night. od night. od night. mr. ight. >> "jimmy kimmel live" is brought to you by united airlines. begging your forgiveness with shame. united airlines. please stop yelling at us. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, armie hammer, judd apatow, and music from john mayer. and now your attention please - here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you very much. i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. you have no idea how much i missed you. well, that's -- that's very

kind. hey, you know, easter's on sunday. and i have to say, one of the things i'm really looking forward to this year, i'm not exactly sure why i'm looking forward to it, but donald trump will be running the white house easter egg roll this year. [ laughter ] every year at the white house they have an egg roll. which i think president trump assumed was a menu item at p.f. chang's. [ laughter ] even though this is an annual tradition, it's been going on for 138 years. they're having trouble getting it together this year. the white house apparently hasn't sent out invitations yet. and they neglected to order the eggs. every year they give kids wooden eggs as souvenirs of the easter egg roll. this year the company that mills the eggs had to tweet a reminder to the president and first lady, for real, flotus, potus, everyone in the family, fiy, manufacturing deadlines for the easter eggs are near, please

reach out. which seems a little desperate but this is a company whose business is making wooden eggs. they miss easter, they're screwed, that's it, nobody wants an egg on flag day. fortunately donald trump knows a guy who got him great deal on some russian nesting dolls so they will have eggs. but this is -- this sort of thing should be the easy stuff. the egg roll, you know -- it's normally a star-studded affair by the way. last year they had idina menzel, the voice of elsa in "frozen," the kids go nuts for that. shaquille o'neal. the muppets were there from "sesame street," the cast of "black-ish." this year the only entertainment is a group called the martin family circus, and a boy band called bro four. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] that's bro four. should we know what bro four is? they're like what hell are we doing at this thing? bro four. which i feel like we're going to be hearing a lot more about.

and the martin family circus. will join the trump family circus on the south lawn on monday. this is crazy. the trump administration actually contacted pbs to ask -- after saying they want to cut their funding they contacted them to ask if they'd provide costume characters for the easter egg roll. your boss saying, i know i just fired you but can you work overtime on sunday? white house stress secretary sean spicer tried to down play the issues at his press briefing this afternoon. he did it an interesting way. he invited a group of children into the room, told them the egg roll doesn't matter because there's no such thing as the easter bunny anyway. he's had a rough week. you know, before he was press secretary, sean spicer actually played the easter bunny at the egg roll during the bush administration. that's not a fake picture. that's the real thing. which means this week, for the first time maybe in history, we got to see the easter bunny apologize for comments about the

holocaust. >> to try to make any kind of comparison is a mistake. >> you recognize that hitler obviously did -- >> i'm well aware what was he did. >> jimmy: how can you be mad at somebody so cute? he would kill to have that job back right now. this is day 82 of the trump administration. i know, he can't believe it either. [ laughter ] but so the president was on fox business channel this morning where he gave himself very high marks so far. >> we have done so much for so many people. i don't think that there is a presidential period of time in the first 100 days where anyone's done nearly what we've been able to do. >> jimmy: well, i think he's kind of right, actually. [ laughter ] no one has done anywhere near the damage he's been able to do in only 82 days. trump also shed light on what was happening -- this was interesting, what was happening on the ground at mar-a-lago the weekend when -- this weekend

when he ordered both an air strike and dessert while dining with the president of china. >> i was sitting at the table. we had finished dinner, we're now having dessert. we have the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake this you've ever seen. and president xi was enjoying it. so what happens is i said, they just launched 59 missiles heading to iraq. >> heading to syria? >> yes, heading to syria, yes. >> jimmy: maria -- wherever we bomb, the point is, this was the most beautiful piece of chocolate cake. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: speaking of beautiful. congratulations to the first lady, melania trump, who just got a nice payout from a british tabloid newspaper, "the daily mail." they claimed our first lady once worked as an escort, which isn't true. not only isn't it true, it doesn't even make sense.

of course she's not a prostitute. she won't even spend the night with her husband for god's sakes. according to cnn, melania received $2.9 million in damages, which i think this is nice, she's using it to build an escape tunnel back to slovenia. [ laughter ] meanwhile, the secretary of housing and urban development, ben carson, he's still going, i guess. he was in miami today visiting an affordable housing complex that was developed by nba hall of famer alonzo mourning. unfortunately alonzo mourning was late so dr. carson was forced to kill time. he went to the fitness center. he played some foos ball in the building. they decided to get on with the tour. unfortunately, he immediately became trapped in the elevator when the elevator doors closed. listen here. listen in. >> hello? hello? i'm stuck in the elevator. can anyone help?

i'm still stuck in the elevator. is anyone there? help. help. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: then he got out. he was actually trapped in the elevator for 20 minutes. he handled it well, though. he actually said he didn't mind being in the elevator because that's where they play his favorite music. [ laughter ] hey, bill o'reilly, you know who bill o'reilly is, the giant man on fox news every night. he's getting a lot of unwanted publicity this week after multiple sexual harassment charges from former employees. fox paid these former employees, and now they've decided to hire an outside firm to investigate. i don't know why they didn't hire the firm first but multiple

sponsors have pulled their advertising from bill o'reilly's show. bill made a big announcement on his show last night. i guess he had a vacation planned and they were worried it would look bad if he quietly went off the air for a week. so somebody over there thought it would be a good idea to turn his vacation into a contest. >> tip of the day, this time of year i grab vacation because it's spring and easter. last fall i booked a trip that should be terrific. not going to tell you where it is but we have a contest on bill o'reilly.com, guess where bill's going. >> jimmy: all right. to hell, maybe? is it to hell? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] no? okay, not hell. maybe coachella? no? could he be on a rob gronkowski booze cruise? is bill o'reilly in dollywood? on kong skull island?

i know where he is, bill o'reilly is vacationing right now in bonerland. it's all-inclusive. it's actually a beautiful place. from the land down under, this happened in queensland. in the united states many of our rappers have had run-ins with the law. it's almost mandatory in a way. this one is unusual. there's a hip-hop artist in australia who goes by the name tupek. with tupek, alley thely went to a seafood restaurant, he racked up a $468 bill, then tried to skip out of the check by running into the ocean. for real. he ate two lobsters, a baby octopus, and 17 oyster shooters and jumped in the ocean to get away. which if this wasn't a job for aquaman, i don't know what he does. but he actually broke a few laws. failure to pay for services rendered. resisting arrest. and not waiting 30 minutes after eating before you go for a swim. [ laughter ] this by the way is tupek. good news about a picture like this is you don't need to listen

to his music to know it's bad. you get it from the glasses and the hat. [ applause ] he actually complained that the restaurant should apologize to him because his lobster was overcooked. hopefully tupek can get food cooked exactly to his specifications in jail. fy was tupek, not that that isn't a great name, i would change my rap name to run dmc-food. i really wood. [ laughter ] thanks, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] prom season is upon us. it's prom season and it's allergy soap. this is an especially difficult time of the year for nerds. it really is. [ laughter ] this is the time when high school students make prom-p prom-posals, obnoxious to start with, more so now that we have social media. teenagers have been asking celebrities to the prom.

last week a high school kid in phoenix made an elaborate parody of the movie "la la land" to ask emma stone to be his prom date. apparently people tell him he looks like ryan gosling. this is what he did. ♪ ♪ emma stone if you came we'd go insane ♪ ♪ we'll help you see i hope you'll want to come on down ♪ ♪ i'll see your face and think of how i got so lucky ♪ note emma stone please be the one ♪ >> jimmy: you get the idea, it goes on for an hour and a half. emma stone responded to his video. she wrote the kid the letter. here he is reading the letter on "good morning america." >> emma said, jacob, in all caps. thanks for making the greatest proposal i've ever received. i can't tell you what an honor that was and how much i smiled through that entire beautifully orchestrated video. i'm in london working but i hope you have the best time at prom and i'm grateful you thought of me. thank you, in all caps, and she

added, p.s., i do see gosling around the eyes. >> jimmy: right. so now emma stone has to pretend she's in london for two weeks. [ laughter ] it's a cute story, i get it. but it's also terrible. and it has to be stopped. listen, kid. emma stone, whether she's in london or not, doesn't want to go to the prom with you. at all. like it's probably the last thing she wants to do. and not because she's in london working. she doesn't want to go to a dance with you because she's 28. [ laughter ] and 28-year-old people don't want to go on dates with 16-year-old children. because it's creepy. [ laughter ] i don't know, why do we find it socially acceptable for what is -- a boy to ask an adult celebrity on a date? what if it was the other way around? what if shailene woodley -- no, what if shia labeouf showed up at a high school looking for a date? he'd be arrested, right? [ laughter ] he'd be beaten and arrested.

when this kid asks emma stone, it's adorable, we put him on gma. this is a hostage situation. because if emma stone didn't write him a letter, she would look like a jerk. you know, when i was in high school, i would never -- i would never dream -- when i was in high school you liked a girl, so you called her house, when she answered the phone you got scared and hung the phone up. [ laughter ] that was it. that's how you did it. [ cheers and applause ] i didn't contact heather locklear to ask her to go out with me. the audacity. can we go back to a time before selfies when teenagers had low self-esteem? it's not completely the kids' fault, celebrities kind of did this to themselves. a few of them took the bait. kylie jen went to a prom with a kid in sacramento, which after the pepsi commercial was like the second-most ridiculous thing a member of that family has done this month. now every overconfident kid at a school in america has to have a famous date for the prom.

listen, kids. don't look for your prom date in "us weekly." it's not cute. selena gomez doesn't want to make out with you, okay? go to the cafeteria, find someone your own age, and paw him or her in the back of a limo, okay? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] thank you very much. i'm really glad you're with me on this. important issue. hey, we have a fun show for you tonight. we have, first of all, one of the great guitar players of all-time, john mayer is here with us. [ cheers and applause ] judd apatow is here. we'll be right back with armie hammer so stick around! ♪ say hello to at&t's best, unlimited data deal and never pay overages again. so now the whole family can binge, surf, shop, navigate, listen, game, stream and more. all without the hassle of worrying about overages

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>> jimmy: hi there, welcome back to the show. tonight the director, writer, and producer whose latest show on netflix is called "love," judd apatow is here. later, his new album comes out friday. it's called "the search for everything." the great john mayer from the mercedes-benz stage. little bit of trivia, john was roofied shortly before that drawing was made. [ laughter ] . tomorrow night music from romeo santos. you know who else we have to get on the show? bro four. [ cheers and applause ] i love those guys. they are going to rock that easter i'll roll, i'll tell you that. with the name he was given, our first guest really only had three career choices. he could an movie star, he could an comic book character, or a

manager at ace hardware. you know him from "the social network", "the man from uncle" and his new movie is called "free fire." it opens april 21st. please welcome armie hammer! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: look at you. >> yeah. >> jimmy: are you into bro four? >> oh, for sure, for sure. >> jimmy: your ipod has those? >> you heard it, yeah. >> jimmy: you just got here from russia. >> i did, yeah. basically just landed from moscow. >> jimmy: does the fbi know about this? are they aware? >> i'm not going to lie, i was offered a russian passport while in russia. yes, i'll take that, do i have to give up my american passport? no. really? great, then yes, absolutely, i'd love a russian pass port. >> jimmy: is that right? >> who knows, it might have been one of those things. it was late into dinner. have laugh

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: what is it like in russia? i don't think things are sketchy in russia. things are just sketchy in the world. >> jimmy: what goes on when you get there? i know you're probably there working. >> yeah. i'm there working, there for press. you go, you hive your obligations, we have to talk to -- basically flew in, got in at 11:00 at night. 7:00 the next morning we work all day up until the premiere of the movie that night. press all day, different outlets. the premiere, then dinner afterwards. >> jimmy: gotcha. >> and at dinner afterwards, this is where i got in trouble. one of the guys from vulcan films who's distributing "free fire," comes out soon, you should all go see it. [ cheers and applause ] thank you. >> jimmy: or you'll be destroyed. >> yes. wait till you hear the rest of the story. so he's like, you've done a really good job, all the press went so well, this has all been great. if you would now like to get intoxication, you can. >> jimmy: what? >> to celebrate.

i was like, hold on, i want to make sure this isn't a lost in translation thing. what? he's like, yeah, if you want to drink. and i was like, as a matter of fact, i'll take a bottle of involved character thank you very much. then that's russia for you. >> jimmy: that's how it begins. >> this is why -- i've been to russia several times. the overall score is russia 3, armie 0 ultimately. >> jimmy: because you get armie-hammered is what you get. [ applause ] are you famous? russia? >> yes, a combo of my work as an actor and my family has russian roots. they were involved way back in the day. >> jimmy: that's very interesting. there's a hammer on the flag too, so just in general. >> that too, yeah. >> jimmy: what do you eat in russia? is it borscht? >> caviar. well, anything. pierogis, caviar. my favorite food is probably vodka. >> jimmy: vodka, okay. potato-based food. >> absolutely. at some point it was food.

>> jimmy: does it taste any different than our vodka? >> no, 100% -- i don't know if they just keep the best vodka in russia. i mean, there's a vodka there called beluga gold vine. this isn't an ad but if they want to send me vodka i'll take it. beluga cold line. put it in the freezer and it tastes like water. that gets you into trouble. you go to official dinners that you have to be at, you're there for work. >> jimmy: right. >> in front of every single person they'll put a shot glass. then they'll come and fill it with ice-cold vodka. what will happen is the number one guy will make a speech, he'll say i want to say thank you to everyone for coming from america, we put in a lot of work for this, we're so happy to have you here, blah blah blah, cheers. then you take your shot. and then you put it down and immediately someone's over your shoulder filling it up. my wife says, nebraska else does the full shot, they sip it. i think that's the coward's way out. >> jimmy: i see, you're representing the united states, you have to drink 100%. >> 100%.

all of a sudden they keep refilling and you lose track of time. then this last time, you end up it's 5:00 in the morning when you leave the restaurant. >> jimmy: the restaurant you left at 5:00? >> went back to the hotel and they're like, you have 10 minutes to pack your bags. >> jimmy: the waiters must have wanted to shoot you. >> we were there with the guy who owned the restaurant so i don't think they were allowed to. >> jimmy: at 5:00 a.m. you all kind of walked back to the hotel and it's morning and the light is blinding? >> probably. i'm not 100%. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: something is blinding. >> i woke up in paris. i was like, this is our layover. are we on our way home? my wife's like, yes. not happy with me. >> jimmy: i'm glad you mentioned your wife. the last time you were here, you did something very kind of dumb. i mean, i don't want to pile on. but you accidentally -- you guys had been keeping the gender of your baby a secret from your family and from everyone. and you accidentally blurted it out here on the show. what did your wife say about that? >> she was in the dressing room.

>> jimmy: she was, yeah. >> i walked back. and we opened the door. and it was -- instead of like, yeah, good job, the show was great! it was total silence. >> jimmy: oh, really. >> in the dressing room. yeah, yeah, yeah. a lot of looks like -- >> jimmy: yeah. because the next day -- >> what? it's not like i said anything. >> jimmy: there were a lot of articles the next day, yeah, pointing out that you'd accidentally revealed. i didn't know if there was any fallout from that happening. >> no, nothing too long, long-term. >> jimmy: this is a photograph that i think maybe your wife posted. and as i mentioned, she was very pregnant at the time you were here on the show. why are you -- you know this is not how it works. [ laughter ] usually the mother will go into the bed. then the father will be standing beside her. >> right. but you know, we like to mix things up, keep it interesting. funny thing is she's actually due. she's probably like four days due when that picture was taken. right before she was supposed to have the baby, i tore my pectoral muscle completely off of my skeleton. >> jimmy: how? >> i was just -- i was in the

gym with her brother, my brother-in-law, john. we were just working out. and basically what happened was, i tore my pectoral muscle, they opened it up, your muth sescle frayed, you don't live very gently. i've never been accused of that. >> jimmy: i'm worried about you after the russia story. >> it's amazing i was even at the gym. so i'm walking around my house really kind of hobbling. my arm doesn't work. it's really kind of a sad thing. my wife finally goes, you know what? just go get the surgery, honestly you're not doing anybody any favors, this is bad. >> jimmy: you did that right before she gave birth? >> i go and get the surgery after she's due, because she was a little bit late with the baby. so i go in for the surgery. then we're thinking like now i'll have the surgery, i'll be able to help. really what happened is i go in for the surgery and wake up in another hospital and all of a sudden my wife is having the baby because i'm on medication and all that stuff. >> jimmy: wow, what an impression you made on the kid.

[ laughter ] >> i know, i know. he slapped me. wake up! [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: your movie is great. i saw it today. the movie is "free fire." armie hammer is here. we'll be right back! you're not taking these. hey, hey, hey! you're not taking those. whoa, whoa! you're not taking that. come with me. you're not taking that. you're not taking that.

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okay, so burns' boy is going

to drive car in, put [ bleep ] -- >> hands of me. >> grandpa, relax. they're going to put the guns right here. they'll leave, tweedle dee and tweedledum can load them into your clown car. >> you're the first one we're going to take down if this goes south, lad. >> probably a good idea, grandpa. >> i reckon. >> oops. sorry, you just -- you're molting. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's armie hammer in "free fire." i like that movie, who directed that? >> it's a great english director, ben weedly. >> he did a good job with the movie. >> he does a great job with every movie. >> jimmy: i'm not going to vouch for that. >> i'll tell you. but go on, go on. >> jimmy: the movie, sounds like a crazy thing, it seems like, correct me if i have any of this wrong, the last two-thirds of the movie is a shoot-out. >> pretty much. >> jimmy: a shoot-out would typically last three or four minutes. >> totally in a normal movie.

this is like a -- it's so much fun. the entire thing takes place in one warehouse. and the way ben, the director, puts it, he says, this movie is about the largest caper and a huge heist movie, but unfortunately, all of the characters in it are complete idiots so they never get past the first scene, which is the gun deal. you have to start at the gun deal, then you've got the guns, then you go do your thing. they're such incompetents they can't get past that. it's like a fun kind of like -- super realistic wear it -- it's a lot. everybody's going to get something out of it. it's a lot of fun. >> jimmy: as an actor is shooting in a warehouse for the whole movie something you like? does it become a regular job where you go do the same work every day? or i wish we could move around? >> i don't think it will ever feel like a cubicle when they're giving you automatic weapons and blanks and you can shoot at everybody. that's pretty unique. but it's -- you would think it would get claustrophobic. but the way everything was mapped out, the way it works out

with characters in different places, they create an entire world with this warehouse. "room" did it with a single room, brie larson -- >> she's expanded, she's moved up to a much larger space. >> jimmy: moving on up. i want to show one picture too. this is a photograph of you. tech aly i think it's after midnight so it's "throwback thursday." how long were you in this photo? >> oh, man. that was probably right when i moved back from the cayman islands to l.a. i was probably 12, 13 years old. >> jimmy: did you and the dog go to the same groomer? [ laughter ] was this your dog? >> that was my mom's dog and i'm convinced that this picture was punishment for dyeing my hair this color. i'm convinced my mom was like, you think you want white hair? here you go. >> jimmy: you dyed your own hair as a kid? >> yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: that's a strong move for a little kid. >> i think it was a -- i moved from a tropical paradise to l.a. >> jimmy: you're one of those

kids who would ask emma stone to go to the prom with him. >> by the way, i wouldn't have even had the confidence to try. >> jimmy: there you go. that's what i'm saying! that's what i was trying to say. very good to see you. the movie is called "free fire." it opens april 21st. army hammer, everybody. be right back with judd apatow! man: chevy is the most awarded car company, three years in a row. really! let's see how quickly you can read through all their awards. (bell ringing) man 2: 2017 motor trend car of the year. kelly blue book 2016 best resale value. 2016 j.d. power highest quality breaking... agh! 10 best... blah blah blah. 2015... only about 90 more to go! that's a lot of awards! chevrolet. the most awarded and fastest growing retail brand in 2016. celebrate with us and get 16% below msrp on select chevy vehicles in stock. find new roads at your local chevy dealer.

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>> jimmy: hi, we're back. john mayer is on the way. without our next guest, there would be no freaks, no geeks, no "superbad," no "40 year-old virgin," no "girls" and no "love." for anyone. ever. his new show "love" is streaming on netflix, please welcome judd apatow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very good to see you. >> that was a rousing round of applause for me. >> jimmy: yeah, well, they're instructed to clap. [ cheers and applause ] >> my level of fame is not that high to get that much. my level of fame is, if i'm

walking down the street and somebody says, if you say judd apatow, if i say no, they go, all right. [ laughter ] i was at a -- the "new york times" crossword puzzle two weeks ago, i got calls like, oh my god, you've really made it! and i said, no, that means i'm still obscure enough to be a clue. >> jimmy: what was the clue? >> i don't know. jackass jew director? >> jimmy: that could be so many people. [ laughter ] >> exactly. >> jimmy: it's very good to see you. >> good to be here. >> jimmy: i notice you tweeted a lot of nice things about don rickles when he passed away. >> yes, i love don rickles. >> did you know don? >> i had met him a few times. i did that talk show he had been working okay the web series. >> jimmy: right, i did that too. >> the first time i saw him, westberry music fair when i was 13, i snuck down to the front row, he eviscerated me. >> jimmy: that's so great. >> he was one of my favorites of all-time. the best time i ever saw him, i don't know if i should say this

publicly. but i guess i will. >> jimmy: okay. >> i was on mushrooms. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the magic kind? >> i hope so. [ laughter ] that's what they guaranteed me. >> jimmy: who were you with on mushrooms? >> a bunch of my friends who rote for the tv show "roseanne." [ applause ] this is 1990. don rickles was opening for sinatra. and also opening p. isidora. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> you'd think, we should go to this on mushrooms. >> jimmy: yeah, well yeah. for p. isidora for sure, yeah. >> we bought third row tickets. i don't do -- i'm not a big drug person. i don't react well. >> jimmy: you're saying this because you know your children might watch this? >> a lot of people do drugs with their kids. their kids turn 18 and they smart smoking pot with their kids. >> jimmy: that's weird. >> you never did that. >> jimmy: no. >> that's weird because i feel

like people feel like, oh, now we can be friends. now i can tell you who i really am. the truth is i love cocape. cocaine. [ laughter ] and the neighbors who come over all the time? your mom and i have sex with those people. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: seems like a bad idea in general, yeah. >> i really don't react well to drugs. at that time i experimented. for a moment. so once we went to vegas, we took mushrooms. the whole time we walked around, i had one thought. which i thought was genius but it was idiotic. which was, the reason why it's hot in vegas is all the acs backing up! >> jimmy: backing up? >> like the heat coming out the back? out the back, wow. the cold air goes that way, the hot air goes forwards? >> that's what i thought. >> jimmy: you might be right there might be something to that. i don't know that -- a study should be done. >> we wanted to up our game. so we got these tickets to see

him. and we wore suits and sat right up front. and then when rickles came on, we lost our minds. >> jimmy: i would bet so, yeah. >> he brought our friend on stage to do a bit. >> jimmy: oh, really. >> rickles hugs him. our friend looked at us like -- [ laughter ] then sinatra was on. here's another dumb thought. on mushrooms i thought was smart. i thought, everybody here tonight is getting laid. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: are those the kinds of thoughts you have on mushrooms? >> i'm so dumb, i'm so dumb. i think that's all it does is you think of dumb stuff and you're like, this is pretty smart stuff right now. and then on the way home i laughed for so long that my friends were about to take me to the hospital. and then i kept going, wasn't this the best night of our lives? let's call each other tomorrow! and let's ask each other if when we're sober it was the best night of our lives! >> jimmy: and? >> then i called.

was it the best night of our lives? we all went, yes! >> jimmy: it really was. >> it was. >> jimmy: do you honestly remember that as the best night of your life? >> well, i've had children since then. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> there was a lot of screaming and blood. >> jimmy: yeah, there's a lot of mess that goes along with the having the children. i mean, certainly the result is a wonderful thing. >> exactly. >> jimmy: i don't know that i would classify any visit to the hospital as part of the best night of my life. >> okay, it was the best night of my life. >> jimmy: good, i'm glad. [ cheers and applause ] by the way, speaking of children. the show "love" on netflix, a show that you produce, your daughter iris is on the show. >> that's right. >> jimmy: how old is she now? >> she's 14. >> jimmy: she's great on the show. >> oh, thank you, yeah. >> jimmy: she's very snotty on the show. is she a snotty person in real life as well? >> she's so cool and so smart. but we are at war right now. because she doesn't think i'm funny at all. >> jimmy: for real she doesn't think you're funny? >> she says, dad, all these things that you think are funny

that you say all the time are really not funny, so can you not say them? the other day out of the blue she said this to me, which is really smart but hurtful. >> jimmy: okay. >> she said, you know, dad, i hate your jokes so much that when my friends make jokes that are good jokes, i don't enjoy them because it's a thing that you do. >> jimmy: wow. i think that might be a compliment in there somewhere if you dig deep enough. >> i destroy humor and joy for her. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the mushrooms will taking care of that, don't worry. judd apatow is right here. we'll be right back!

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landon. >> i don't know who that is. >> he's -- pa on "little house on the prairie." >> never watched that. >> people also tell me i look like rachel maddow. which i take as a huge compliment. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: rachel, on the other hand. that show is "love" on netflix. you've got "love," "girls with the season 10 in all lay sunday night, "crashing" on hbo, standup comedy. >> i'm at the ryman in nashville on april 21st. >> jimmy: do you enjoy that more than anything? >> i do. the reason i went back into standup is i wanted to lower my salary and self-esteem at the same time. >> jimmy: i have to say i was puzzled when i saw that you were doing it, why would anyone that didn't need to do this to himself? you love comedy more than anybody i know. >> i'm a hoarder. i've saved everything from my whole life and career. i in fact watched the show

"hoarders" and root for hoarders not to throw their stuff out. [ laughter ] you might need that "newsweek" from 1978 about patty hearst! >> jimmy: you brought some of your things. random items from your collection. are they organized? >> no, no, no. >> jimmy: okay, all right. >> this is a funny thing. this is my first two head shots. >> jimmy: let me hold that up this way. which one came first? >> look at my little flips that i had there. i thought i was in a good mood. >> jimmy: this one's fine, this one is the one that's the problem. >> look at me, the shells and the spaceships on my shirt. >> jimmy: that's the best part. which is my best shirt? and that was the one. >> this is a note i found that don rickles sent to gary shanle. >> jimmy: dear gary, received your beautiful roses congratulating me on my star on the hollywood walk of fame. i had no idea you were so emotional about me. be strong, gary, maybe i'll call. [ cheers and applause ] well done, that's cute.

what else do you have in here? oh, look at that, oh, that's good. that's good. >> comedy competition when i was a kid. >> jimmy: on david letterman's birthday today. that's a wonderful thing right there. [ applause ] >> he was the judge. the best june of a comedy competition. >> jimmy: a july, wow, yeah. you've got to throw some of this [ bleep ] away. it's very good to i don't are you yore judd has a lot of shows. "love" is on netflix. you can see judd live april 21st at the wild west comedy festival in nashville on april 21st. be right back with john mayer! >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel" live concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.

>> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: i want to thank my guests and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next, but first, this is his album, it's called "the search for everything." here with the song "moving on and getting over," john mayer!

♪ ♪ ♪ moving on and getting over are not the same it seems to me cause you've been gone i'm growing older ♪ ♪ but i still can't seem to get you off my mind and i do believe i feel you all the time ♪ ♪

♪ moving on and getting over are not the friends they used to be it's been so long since i got to hold you ♪ ♪ but i still can't seem to get you off my mind and i do believe i feel you all the time all the time ♪ ♪ tell me i can have the fact you've loved me to hold onto ahh ♪ ♪ tell me i can keep the door cracked open to let light through for all my running ♪ ♪ i can understand i'm one text away from being back again ♪

♪ but i'm moving on and i'm getting over i'm getting over i'm getting over i got to get over ♪ ♪ moving on and getting over it's been so long it just goes to show you that i still can't seem ♪ ♪ to get you off my mind and i sure would like to see you one more time ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ it's taken me so long just to say so long maybe it's all wrong but i'm moving on ♪ ♪ i'm gonna get a new girl it's something i can do girl to try to get me through girl cause i'm moving on ♪ ♪ i'm moving on and i'm moving on i'm moving on and i'm moving on ♪ ♪ consider me as good as gone cause i'm moving on i'm moving on moving on baby ♪

this is "nightline." >> tonight, the blaze of tomi. >> i've been sigh linesed and sidelined. >> conserve tive firebrand tomi lahren in her first television interview since she said she was banned for expressing pro-choice opinions. >> stay out of my guns and stay out of my body as well. >> how she says she was locked out of social media accounts but is fighting back. >> i will not lay down and play dead. >> now suing for wrongful termination. does she have a case? plus clearing the air. >> the word shame comes to mind. >> an exclusive interview with the ceo of united airlines on the knockdown, drag-out flight fiasco that left a 69-year-old doctor bloodied and said to be traumatized. >> you said this wil