in the morning. for all of us, thank you for joining >> today is april 18th. if you have not sent in your tax returns or filed for an extension, you will soon be off to federal prison. this has been a message from the internal revenue service. up your ass since 1862. >> from hollywood, it's jimmy kimmel live. tonight katherine heigl and rob delaney and music from -- >> here is jimmy kimmel!

>> thanks for watching. thank you. today it's tax day in the united states. which is unusual. tax day normally falls on april 15th, but the movements this year because the 15th is a saturday. it's illegal to make people do math on saturdays. we got three more days to do them. i was thinking about this. it's weird that the government more or less just trusts us to tell them how much we owe them. they only audit less than one out of 100 people. the odds are pretty good. i decided to claim guillermo as a dependent this year. yeah! by the way, if anyone asks, you call me papa, okay? >> okay, papa. >> thank you very much.

i used to do my own taxes. i would save receipts and log all my miles on my car. every time i bought something, i would figure out an angle. this hamster cage is clearly a business expense. i might try to write a movie about hamsters or something. it would take me forever to itemize everything. when i add it up, i never had enough. i take the standard deductions, all wasted time. i hired an accountant which is counter intuitive. all throughout school, you are not allowed to pay a nerd to do your homework and you become an adult and that's what you do. accountants must hate us and the month of april so much. i bet there is a party going on at h and r block right now that you would not believe. president trump is refusing to release his tax returns for 2016. it's become a tradition for him not to not release them. i think i figured out why the president doesn't want us to see his returns and why he is keeping them secure.

he is planning a party for us and wants it to be a surprise. he is going to put them in a pi nata and give us each a stick. he was interviewed on fox and friends and our relationship with north korea is tense right now and one way or another donald trump will do something about that just as soon as he figures out that kim jung unand his father are two different people. >> i don't want to telegraph what i'm doing or thinking. i'm not like other administrations. it doesn't work that way. we will see what happens. i hope things work out well and there will be peace. they have been talking with this gentlemen for a long time. you read clinton's book and it was a joke. you look at different things over the years with president obama and everybody has been outplayed. they have all been outplayed by this gentlemen. >> does he not know when bill clinton was president kim jung unwas 16 years old?

he was that kid. he looks like he was online at the supreme store. there is a 50-50 chance we might bomb south korea if we are not careful. to be fair, there are a lot of kims out there. as a service to our president, i thought we would make it clear. this is kim jung il. he is very dead. kim jung unis still alive. this is lil kim. she has nothing to do with it. leave her alone. it's confusing. unless the president knows something we don't. maybe kim jung ilis not dead after all and figured out a youth syrum like benjamin button. it was a busy weekend for north korea. they intended to launch a

missile and it didn't go up. bad news for the nuclear program, but good news for the man eating crock tiles that lived in his bedroom. on saturday they had a big military parade to celebrate what would have been his grandfather's 105th birthday. it was a major show of force. they do not screw around over there. the point of this is to inspire north koreans and to scare everyone else. it works. it is a little scary. if you change the music they are meaching to, it's not scary at all. ♪ back here on the trump administration, they decided unlike the obama administration they will not release the white house visitor logs. a list of people who come to

visit the president. it will not longer be a matter of public record. that's fine. like when your teen son borrows your laptop and he cleared the browser history. not suspicious at all. you have to wonder if trump supporters are concerned about this or really about anything he does. he does a lot of interesting things and no one seems to mind. we went on the streets and asked people to identify themselves as pro trump. a list of individuals we told them visited the white house. none of them are on the logs we assume, but that didn't stop them from weighing in on a guest edition of lie witness news. >> what do you think of the controversy with president trump keeping his visitor log secret. do you think the president should be allowed to meet with whatever he wants? >> yes. in fact from what i understand, that log has been kept secret until obama came in and he wanted to make it transparent. of course he e rated the names

of the people that he didn't want anybody to see. >> do you think it's fine for donald trump to have met off the record with bernie madoff to get tips on how to make lucrative gains in the financial markets? >> i feel like anyone with experience is good hindsight of things. he can take what he takes from it and develop the country better. >> why has the president meeting with casey anthony. >> she learned from her mistakes. >> do you think trump meeting with joseph stalin in the oval office can improve relations? >> probably. >> how come? >> he's got something up his sleeve. >> are you surprised by donald trump's choice to make dr. bill cosby the czar of prescription drug sms. >> he has had a lot of controversial people that he picked and carson and all that

also. as long as they are vetted proper looy and go through the proper channels, that's probably fine. whichever doctor he picks. >> do you have an issue with donald trump meeting with jared from subway to discuss style choices. do you think his background as sexual predator should be taken into account? >> when you are convicted, you are not supposed to be able to vote and they let people vote from in jail. >> why did president trump meet with charles manson on the mind of a serial killer? >> probably just to dissect his mind and see his thoughts and processes to make law enforcement better given the mind of a criminal. >> do you support president trump meeting with charles manson by getting inside the mind of a serial killer? >> if anyone knows about that,

should find people with experience. if you need to have firsthand knowledge, that's somebody who should have a chance to help out our country and our president. >> what do you think about president trump saying no one has more firsthand knowledge about killing than charles manson. he is the man for the job. >> maybe he should be given a chance much he has done a lot of things for our country in the past and now he can serve at a higher level. >> do you think it's inappropriate that donald trump let john wilkes booth sleep in the bedroom? >> it's an interesting matter, but at the same time john wilkes booth slept with trump? i wasn't aware of that. i don't have an opinion on that. >> that was good that we ended

it there. >> we will review the fate of the furious and a new united airlines that started all the anger up after the break. stick around. we'll be right back. i noticed it as soon as we moved into the new house. ♪ a lot of people have vertical blinds. well, if a lot of people jumped off a bridge, would you? you hungry? i'm okay right -- i'm... i'm becoming my, uh, mother. it's been hard, but some of the stuff he says is actually pretty helpful. pumpkin, bundling our home and auto insurance is a good deal! like buying in bulk! that's fun, right? progressive can't protect you from becoming your parents, but we can protect your home and auto. progressive can't protect you from becoming your parents, i hafor my belly painking overand constipation.ucts i've had it up to here! it's been month after month of fiber. weeks taking probiotics!

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>> welcome back to the show. katherine heigl, rob delainey and music from dream car is on the way. this will either amaze or depress you. it's a good test. two men from new york set the guinness world record for nonstop virtual reality viewing. they sat in their apartment binge watching whatever with the vr head sets on for 50 hours straight. they sat there like that.

they stayed like that for two full days. the apartment was robbed twice. they don't know it. what an achievement. you cannot contain the human spirit. next up, they are working on the record. they are trying to set the record for most time set without girlfriends. united airlines is making changes. apparently something happened. my wi-fi was down. united is changing their policy to appease angry customers and say crew members will no longer be allowed to displace passengers once they are seated on the plane. they will be allowed to sit on your lap during the flight, but won't be allowed to take your seat. once your butt touches the seat, you own it like a wet foot dry foot cuba kind of thing. if you take your seat 60 minutes before, that's still okay. they reserve the right to give your seat to an employee. that was the announcement.

if you went to the hospital and the nurse kicked you out of the bet. we give you an hour's notice. united has been trying to run a new commercial today and they might have to get rid of the celebrity spokesman. >> we are united airlines and work hard to get you safely to the destination and that's why we -- you know what, no. i can't do this anymore. i know what it's like to get bumped. trust me. i have been getting bumped from the jimmy show in the last eight years. we are people and deserve to be treated with dignity. not told night after night there is somebody more important. it's time to stand up -- hey. what are you doing? >> we need the seat. >> what are do you mean you need this seat? i'm doing a voice over for your company. >> we're need your cooperation. >> what do you mean, sir? i'm matt damon. get your hands off of me!

>> hi, i'm jimmy you to fly the friendly skies. >> in some deserve to get bumped. he will probably get fired for that too. we had a new number one movie over the weekend. did you see the fate of the furious. no? don't lie. i'm not looking for it. i couldn't care less, really. anyway, the movie set a record for the biggest worldwide opening ever. $532 million this weekend. this is i believe the 28th film in the fast and furious franchise. whenever there is a big movie like this, we asked our friend to review it. he loves movies and has nothing to do. here he is. this is yaya talking about the fate of the furious.

>> hi, it's me and i'm talking about the movie, the new movie, summer movie. behind me is fat of that that movie like for the car action car, the movie makes like the movie, you know? the driver is normal. you see the sign? 30, 35. go slowly. >> no one is ready for this. >> that and the movie with van diseaser. long time he have hair and now he doesn't have his hair. he looks like cojack and he shows his hair too. van diseasele is in the movie trouble. that's for the kids. the blond lady, she is in this movie and she is like the movie

with charlie frank. she is in the movie like the car. and he is in the movie and the guy, what's his name? the bald guy. terence. the english guy, he did all the movies with the gun. the action movies. he is in the movie and he is such a nice guy. the movie is international. i don't see the movie. it's called balls.

and the movie fat of >> thank you. tonight on the show we have music and rob delaney. ♪ ♪i'ma wade, i'ma wave through the waters♪ ♪tell the tide, "don't move" ♪freedom! freedom! i can't move ♪freedom, cut me loose! ♪freedom! freedom! where are you?♪ ♪cause i need freedom too! ♪freedom! freedom! freedom! freedom!♪ ♪what you want from me? ♪is it truth you seek? oh father can you hear meee...ooow?♪

♪ ♪ take on the mainstream. introducing nissan's new midnight edition. ♪

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>> welcome back to the show. tonight a very funny man from a very funny show from season three. is now on amazon. rob delainy is here with us and fresh from coachella, they hitch hiked all the way here. this is the band that emerged. dream car is their fourth album. tomorrow night, julia louie drive us and on thursday, magic johnson. please join us then. our first guest, far too many

lives to count is izzie stevens. she is a hero to all and has a new movie called unforgettable. >> you only get one mother. i only want what is best for us. don't ever forget that. if julia insists on sending you home with such tangled hair. i'm sorry, we are going to have to fix the problem once and for all. >> unforgettable opens in theaters friday. say hello to katherine heigl. [ applause ] very good to see you. >> good to see you.

hello. >> it's hard to believe you had a baby not so long ago. >> i did. four months ago. >> unbelievable. >> thank you. >> you had a boy. >> i did. >> my wife is very pregnant right now. >> i know. congratulations. >> we don't know. we decided not to find out. >> that's admirable. 10 weeks in, i was like me right now. >> did you have a name before your son was born? >> i didn't. that made me wanting to know all that much more weird. i couldn't come up with a name. >> it's hard. it's a big decision. >> and you don't want to fail this child with the wrong name. i don't know. my husband, i think joshua is a beautiful name. joshua. his name is joshua bishop kelly. i approached it with him and said how do you feel about a junior? he said he hates that idea and he would never be that guy.

i wasn't finding something that i was responding to and he said i love that. that would mean a lot to me. maybe had i known that months ago, i would have had a name sooner. >> it's interesting. there is a lot of ramifications about naming a child after them and rarely do you see a child named after the mother. >> that's true although i did give my middle daughter my middle name. that's why i wanted this one to have josh's family's name. i don't want him to be a joshy or a junior or a jj. i don't know. jj is all right. >> unfortunately the other kids are going to decide what he is call and it will probably be the meanest combination of whatever you can find. are you living in utah? >> i am. >> you have a lot of animals? >> i do. i wish i could tell you how many. that sounds awful.

>> you have that many? >> we live on a ranch. i have seven dogs at the house. at the ranch -- that sounds like a lot? >> that's a lot of dogs. >> for feels normal to me. >> you are like snow white and the seven dogs. >> so wow, dogs is a lot. >> i think horses and two donkeys and two goats and a pig named hamlet. i don't know how many cats. a lot of barn cats. >> the kids love the animal sths. >> you don't have kids with allergies? >> i hope not. they will have to find a new home. >> for push comes to shove. the kids are out. did you bring your baby here with you? >> i did. he is at the hotel and i felt like i whirl winded out of there. he's a good little traveler. >> did you work while you were pregnant? >> i did. the whole nine months.

it was a challenge not because the pregnancy was hard. it was actually relatively easy for me. i credit my peasant stock. >> did you give birth in a field? >> basically. in utah on a ranch. i don't know where i was going. i lost my train of thought. >> you were talking about the baby and you were in a field and the baby came out. you were working. >> about work. that's right. speak of a field. we were in offices and i was playing a lawyer. that makes sense. my character was pregnant. yeah. it was a lot of -- did you do that thing where you were carrying a basket? >> a lot of files and file cabinets and desks and by the end when i looked like a macy's day parade float. i would talk over their heads and i would walk like this and they would walk like this and i would quickly try and they

would -- >> did they know why they were selected? did they know what their purpose was? >> no. that would have been amazing if no one told them and they didn't know why. >> that are would have went around here. i know you have the premier of your movie tonight across the street. you started acting, how old were you? >> i was 11 in my first. >> this is from and correct me if i'm wrong, your first red carpet premier. under siege two. that's steven segal and eric begosian. >> what do you think steven said in that moment? >> i would love to know. >> i would love to know too. i have no recollection. >> anything he said during the shooting that sticks out? segal-wise. he seems quotable. >> yeah. probably. my favorite was at the last day of filming and i just turned 16 on this movie and he said katie,

i have girlfriends your age. he said isn't that illegal. he said they don't seem to mind. i said, mom! i'm not making that up. >> that brings us to this photograph. this was taken that very day. >> oh, my god! mom! he is getting his hand prints not just in the cement. he is all over you. it looks worse than it actually was. >> we know why. >> what is this movie about? you play a crazy woman. >> yes. i play a woman who is unhinged.

she has always been, but she contained it for a long time and she is now divorced from this man that she loves and he met a new woman and he is engaged to a new woman and she can't -- >> deal with it. what does josh say when he sees you in a movie. does it make him nervous at all? >> a lot of high pitched giggling. it's so scary. >> what a good actor you are. >> you have a fight with rosario dawson. does it become weird or is it uncomfortable. >> in the moment it's intense and fun and i don't goat do that. i don't get to do big exhilarating fight scenes and it was fun and freeing. they call cut and they say are you okay? you want to make sure your

fellow actor is not -- did i didn't hurt you, did i? >> iron man and captain america don't do that. >> they are like did i just get you there? >> per will the baby be coming to the premier with you? >> no. he will be sleeping, i hope. >> look out for steven segal. >> unforgettable opens friday. we'll be right back. wake up skin. a new kind of makeup is here. neutrogena® hydro boost hydrating tint. the first water gel foundation for a refreshed look like never before. with hyaluronic acid it plumps and quenches. delivers natural, flawless coverage that treats skin to 24 hours of hydration. this is what makeup's been missing. hydro boost hydrating tint. neutrogena® see what's possible.

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>> i found tutors. it's an online service for high school and college students available 24-7. >> bro i found a twitter. his name is mark and he has good reviews. >> this is mark. i see you need help with your calculus homework? >> that's right, bro. we need help with calculus. >> let me throw up a few equations and let's hear where you are at. in this scenario, what would r with? >> math is fun. >> and our answer is 2 x. you are the best, bro. >> glad i could help. >> would you like to grab a burger with us? >> i have to work and i'm also in cleveland. >> hey, it's time. >> get help from the live tutor 24-7 and your first 60 minutes free. chegg, a smarter way to study.

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>> welcome back. our next guest is the cocreator and costar of a very funny show called catastrophe. >> i was watching the news the other night and there was a doctor in aleppo and he puts people back together after they get blown up. he stays there and my family is my syria and i have to work at a terrible job so they can eat and live in a house and that's how it is. >> catastrophe returns to amazon prime video. welcome rob delaney. >> that's right there. we are starting to look like stunt double and friend.

>> a little bit. >> i saw the first episode of the third season and it's very, very funny. explain what the show is about for those that don't know. it seems that you are trying to convince people not ever to get married and have children. >> that's not at all. i am married and have kids and i love it. in the show, i play an american advertising executive from boston and i go to london on a trip and meet an irish teacher who i write the show with. we have intercourse for a week and then she gets pregnant and when we find out since we are not middle kids, we decide to have a baby and have a family and terrible things happen. >> a lot of terrible things. how many kids do you have? >> in real life, i have three boys. 6, 4, and 2. >> they are nung. >> my house is like a zoo on the outskirts of town that has been forgotten. it's a nightmare. you because i remember a few

years back, you were moving to london to shoot the show. you were moving there and technic technically you live there. >> that's all your favoriteiteie restaurants in london. i have been there three years and we haven't checked them off. >> and your reviews? >> they are wonderful. >> i'm a little bit ocd. when you say a little bit i mean a lot. people think the food in london is bad, but it's not. >> apparently they used to be. it's a global capital and the food is amazing. >> i love it. >> do your sons like it? >> they do. >> do they go to buckingham palace? >> yeah, from time to time and we ride double-decker buses

everywhere. they are little boys so they loved it. it's still new to me so i love it. if you go to the doctor there, they have nhs. if you go to the doctor, they fix it. it's not like here where you need your mother's pin code and we need to do a retinol scan and you get the bank account numbers. it's not free. you pay with your taxes chls. >> it's kind of free. >> you don't pay when you are there. it's great. >> it's like going on a cruise. it's all inclusive. >> you get whatever disease you want. are as an american a brought, you endorsed their health care system. >> like crazy. >> we are included? if i went over there -- >> yeah. amazing. >> you didn't say you have to pass because you are from a different country. >> they are supposed to, but it's not in their dna.

i might neat an mri and you get a stomach ache. you can't pay for it. they are like we will do both. this one hurts, we will do both. it's fine. >> that's amazing.amazing.amazim what's going on with the tea? >> they totally do. >> they do? >> it is correct. their teeth are kind of -- >> is that not included? >> it is. i love it. i love living there and their teeth are a mess. >> what is the worst thing about living over there? >> okay. this is the worst part. we know it rains there so if you got rained on, you wouldn't be shocked. what you would be shocked by is six months of the year which is how long winner is the sunsets at 2:30 p.m. it is in the arctic circle, but it's not freezing because the jet stream minutes out.

it's warm, but it's like norway. they need more sun light. they need to fix that. >> if you want to put the kids to bed after lunch -- >> half the year you can and the other half they are up until 11:30 p.m. >> i lived in seattle and it was similar to that. kids would be playing at 10:30 at night because the sun was up. >> that's nonsense. >> completely unacceptable. your mom on the show was carrie fisher, the late great carrie fisher and she played -- you can clap if you want. [ applause ] she was a writer as well. did she help you write the show? i know you and sharon -- >> it's funny. sharon and i are lovely people, but we are des pottic when it comes to the writing. what if i do this. why don't you do it the way we wrote it? with carrie fisher, she is

funnier and smarter than anyone in the zip code. it's amazing. in the second season, our kid has a kricch sang a song about aoreoli. it's about nipples. she is walking around and doing it and try to stop me. in the show, we kept it. >> it sounds like you had no choice. >> she is in the show. >> you are a costar and cocreator is someone that you met. this is not something that could have happened 20 years ago. you met her on twitter. >> yeah. >> something good came on twitter. >> the one good thing that came from twitter. >> how did that happen. >> i was a fan and she made amazing sitcoms. i was a fan of them. she happened to follow me on twitter. because of a far joke i wrote

and i said i'm crazy about you. she said okay. gradually we were friends and we decided to write a piloting to. . >> our families met each other and i would do stand up in london and she would come here and work on something. we would cross paths and sort of enjoy each other's senses of humor. >> you would like to have a couple of tv babies with you. >> a couple. >> that's unbelievable. the third season comes out april 28th, amazon prime. thank you, rob. we'll be right back.

>> i want to thank katherine heigl and matt damon.

ran out of time for him again. the album comes out may 12th. here is the song from dream cars! ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪

♪ ♪ this is "nightline." this is night line. >> tonight the dramatic end to the nationwide manhunt for the alleged cleveland facebook killer. >> accused of murdering a complete stranger and posting the video on social media. the police pursuit and total's fatal finish. how workers at a mcdonald's drive through recognized and stalled the suspect. plus doctors without bodies. we are in madagascar taking health care to new heights. using drones to fly medicine into remote areas. >> the drone is making a house call so the patient doesn't have to leave the village. >> granning unprecedented access to modern treatments.