mr. >> of course my hands got bigger because i put the cream on with my hands. >> you're on in two. >> sorry. excuse me? >> you're in two minutes. >> did you call me mr. farrell? >> yeah, i did. >> i'm not will ferrell. >> yeah, i just -- when they said comedian will was guest hosting i assumed it was farrell. >> okay, i don't think that's a natural assumption people make. there's room for other wills. will -- >> forte. >> yeah. that's good. also will -- >> smith. >> fine. but also will -- >> shakespeare. >> shakespeare. you like him? come on. i don't think that that's a thing that people just -- >> hey, guys, when you think funny will, who do you think of?

>> farrell! >> farrell! >> i feel like because i'm canadian there's a lot of like racism, you know? >> i can't talk about that. >> right? >> we both understand racism. >> are you ready to go? >> guess so. other will walking! >> don't say other will, that's not my name. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live," with special guest host, will arnett! tonight, maya rudolph, from "gotham," ben mckenzie, host of "the gong show" tommy maitland and music from incubus. and now, pow, here's will arnett! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> will: wow. wow. thank you. thank you. wow. [ cheers and applause ]

thank you, thank you. thank you. hello and welcome to "jimmy kimmel live." [ cheers and applause ] as you may have noticed, i'm not him. so like six people are talking to me, who is that? my name is will arnett and i am your guest host here for the night. [ cheers and applause ] i'll be filling in while your regular host is away. think of me as your depressed middle-aged substitute teacher who you definitely saw cry in his car before coming in. [ laughter ] you may know me from my netflix show "flint." [ cheers and applause ] for those who don't, it's the thumbnail that you scroll past to get to "narcos." you may have also seen me in a little show called "arrested

development." [ cheers and applause ] yeah. that's funny. people ask me all the time. they always come up to me and they say, is "arrested development" coming back? i'm like, bateman, you're on the show too. [ laughter ] they're going to call you, you know what i mean? [ laughter ] honestly. i should make a documentary about how dumb bateman is. [ laughter ] i say that in jest. i'm here because jimmy is out on paternity leave. yeah. you may -- some of you may have seen jimmy's monologue last night about his newborn son billy. [ cheers and applause ] very powerful. full of emotion. a very, very beautiful tribute. and i just want to offer my best wishes to jimmy, molly, jane, and billy. we're thinking of you guys, sending lots of love. [ cheers and applause ]

in addition to that, if you'd like to donate to the children's hospital l.a., which took such great care of billy, go to the address on your screen. you can make a donation. all right? [ cheers and applause ] i'd make a donation, but -- i just blew 40 grand on tickets to the ja rule festival. [ laughter ] turns out ja does not rule. [ laughter ] so jimmy's taking the week off to spend time with his family and his new baby. he asked me to come here and take care of his other baby, little guillermo. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: thank you. thank you, everyone. thank you. you're doing good. >> will: thank you, buddy. >> guillermo: keep it up.

>> will: how are you feeling, you good? >> guillermo: i'm great, yes. >> will: okay. >> guillermo: i think you're going to kill it tonight. >> will: oh, thank you. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i feel like baby guillermo's bubba is still the don julio. >> guillermo: that's right. >> will: yes. i got to say i'm not surprised jimmy asked me to do this. when you want someone to fill in for you but you don't want them to be too good. [ laughter ] i'm your guy. yeah. [ cheers and applause ] he's not going to hire someone who could potentially replace him. you know, it's funny. jimmy had a son and i dropped everything to come host this show. when i had my sons, all jimmy did was send me an edible arrangement. [ laughter ] yeah. which -- whatever, it's not a competition. but if it were a competition, which it is. clearly agree i'm the better friend, right? [ cheers and applause ]

wasn't even a very good arrangement. it was like 40% cantaloupe. and the other one, the green one. the honeydew. more like honey don't. [ laughter ] i've had a lot of fun here today. it's been interesting to get a peek behind the curtain of a show like this. they let me in on a few of their most intimate secrets. for instance, "jimmy kimmel live," not live at all. [ laughter ] no. in fact, jimmy had me tape this three babies ago. but i got to say -- i got to say, i am up to this, i'm excited. you know, we're lucky to even have a show tonight. because there was a chance that the writers were going to go on strike. yeah. but fortunately a deal was made last night and they were able to go to work today. so that's good, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] we're happy about that. yeah. yeah, the negotiations between the writers guild and the alliance of motion picture television producers, they were very tense. if a deal wasn't reached, the writers were prepared to march outside, all the major studios

here, and they would have faced their greatest enemy. the sun. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i got to say i feel like i could have brokered a deal between them and the sun. the sun and i are very good friends. if you're at home watching this, this is real, so don't adjust your set. [ laughter ] never once spray tanned, never once. anyway. it's great we were able to avoid a strike. if the strike had happened i'd be stuck coming in and coming up with my own words. which would have been -- you know. [ laughter ] ungood. ungooder. [ laughter ] hey, i saw a pretty funny story online that i wanted to show you guys. something very strange happened in waynesboro, virginia. >> 2-year-old tiger lily, she's one of the cats who fell into an odd incident on maple avenue.

someone's been shaving cats' underbellies. tiger lily's owner says it's happened to this rescue kitty twice this year and she's not alone. neighbors posts signs after police got seven similar reports. >> it hurts. because i don't know -- she can't tell me if -- i know it probably hurt her. not like physically but mentally, that has to be hard on her knowing she can't tell me about it. >> will: wow. [ laughter ] that is -- you know, when i was younger i used to get paid to shave people's p -- forget it. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] no, no. i figure -- if the president can say it, so can i, right? i mean, come on. [ cheers and applause ] the president. speaking of the president, president trump had a really big day. spoke on the phone with vladimir putin today. they talked about syria. and they talked about the airbnb

they were going to share in martha's vineyard together. which is nice, that's lovely. [ laughter ] a pretty long call, although most of that was going, no, you hang up. no, you hang up. no, nyet, you hang up. we think they're in love. [ laughter ] >> guillermo: yeah. >> will: trump and putin, we think they might be in love, guillermo. >> guillermo: i think they are. [ laughter ] >> will: president trump also did an interview on fox news yesterday. that was just especially trumpy. let's take a look. >> the one mistake i made with the health care, we have one plan that's been going through. it's been getting better and better and better. and somebody was saying, oh, the people that voted for trump aren't getting good -- they're going to get the greatest. these are the greatest people. they're going to have a great plan or i'm not signing it. i've said from day one the best thing i can do is let obamacare die and then come in with a plan. but it's not fair to the people. so you know, it's going to be very good. i don't want to set deadlines. i think it's going to be

approved -- it could be soon but it could be not so soon. it's going to happen. [ laughter ] >> will: what? what? [ laughter ] what is -- that is -- oh, man. finally, a president who definitely maybe commits to something or not. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i mean, that's like world-class meandering. buried in this clip there's something really historic. i'm serious. can we put a -- look at this. that right there. that's the closest we're going to get to knowing what trump looks like when he's tweeting on the toilet at 6:00 a.m. [ laughter ] doesn't that look like he's sitting on the john? man. and i just -- and i just wish that -- sad. [ laughter ] don't imagine him in a robe, it's awful, you'll never recover. by the way, i have a theory. all this stuff with trump, the angry tweets and the yelling,

there's a reason for all this. he's not getting laid. it's true. it's true. think about it. his wife lives in another state. locked away in a tower like trump-unzel. he's lonely. there's only one solution. the military needs to dispatch the "access hollywood" bus immediately for all of our sakes. there. there you go. i just saved us. i just saved america, you're welcome. [ cheers and applause ] it's a pretty great one. there's a great one, this made me laugh. a story from abc affiliate in new orleans about what may be the best/worst tattoo i've ever seen, you decide. >> real, real, real big fan of law and order, svu specifically, i never go a day without watching it. >> when bernard johnson takes off his shirt his tattoo reads executive producer dick wolf. >> i was at my tattoo artist, talking about my next tattoo,

talking about law and order svu. one thing led to another and got this tattoo. >> will: wow. "law and order svu," what's wrong with you? but imagine. imagine if it didn't say executive producer. otherwise it would be more like a description. [ laughter ] like your butt is a wolf that eats dick or something. it's a dick wolf already. [ laughter ] that there, that's a dick wolf. congrats, man. what a setup for that. how am i doing so far? am i doing all right? [ cheers and applause ] all right, well, thank you. we've got a good show for you tonight. from "gotham," ben mckenzie is here. we have music from incubus. and we'll be right back with maya rudolph.

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for coffee that's a cup above? i brought you nespresso. nespresso. what else? >> will: welcome back to "jimmy kimmel, will arnett live." jimmy is gone for the week. i'm your new daddy now. love me. i command you to love me. i'm very happy to be here tonight and i just want to say, i'm here as a friend. i'm not here to promote some silly project, like the upcoming reboot of "the gong show." yeah. no. over on abc. you know, that i happen to be executive producing. that would be shameless. or shameful. either way, watch "the gong show" on abc.

by the way, i believe the host of "the gong show" is here tonight -- there he is, tommy mate lin, everybody. tommy matlin. [ cheers and applause ] come on over here, tommy. >> no, no. >> will: wow, great to see you. >> come here. >> will: come sit just for a second. >> come on i just got off a plane. haven't had a chance town pack yet, just got off a plane. >> will: how do you like being in the states? >> i love america, you're fantastic, you are. [ cheers and applause ] you're like a giant love popsicle and i want to eat you all the way to the stick. >> will: okay. [ laughter ] >> no, but it's true. >> will: yeah, i know. >> that someone like you can make it so big here. >> will: well. >> but seriously. doesn't he look like a cross between george hamilton and a chris whitestrip? [ laughter ] >> will: thank you. i guess. >> i mean, i do find him sexy,

do you find him sectiony? sexy? [ cheers and applause ] he's like -- in england we don't find him sexy at all in england. no, no. do you know what your nickname is in england? >> will: no, what? >> it's the hand sanitizer. >> will: mr. hand sanitizer? >> three pumps and a squirt. [ drumroll ] >> will: thank you. >> it's true, come on. you pump it three times -- >> will: they got it. >> sometimes it goes off on the first try -- >> will: you don't need to explain it. >> you don't want to get it in your eyes. >> will: no. okay. yeah. that's funny. >> oh, yes. all that money you have. >> will: yeah. >> and you play a piece of plastic, don't you? lego batman. >> will: well, yes, lego batman, i do, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] it's a fun -- it's a fun toy people love and stuff. >> yeah, you make millions and millions of dollars off of it. >> will: sure. you know. >> did you start with lego shakespeare? [ laughter ] lego long days jenny into night?

>> will: okay, well, no. it's for kids, i understand. >> will: it's not supposed to be a very serious thing. it's a kids' thing. and also all ages can enjoy it. it's a comedy. [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm very excited to be doing your show. thank you so much for giving an old man like myself a break and a chance. >> will: we're lucky to have you. tommy matlin, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] >> i'm going to go. just going to run to the toilet now. see you later. [ cheers and applause ] >> will: tommy matlin. watch "the gong show" premiering june 22nd on abc. we'll be right back! with maya rudolph! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by dq. before you invest in a car,

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a little thing here. a little thing there. starts to feel like a badge maybe millions can wear. who are all these caretakers, advocates too? turns out, it's californians it's me and it's you. don't stop now, it's easy to add to the routine. join energy upgrade california and do your thing. >> will: welcome back, welcome back, welcome back. tonight, from the show "gotham," ben mckenzie is here. then this is their new album, "eight," incubus is here. [ cheers and applause ] they're from calabasas, home of the kardashians. every time i almost vomit when i say that.

[ laughter ] i'm here tonight, tomorrow anthony anderson is guest hosting, then kristen bell on thursday, and david spade on friday. [ cheers and applause ] that's great. yeah. i'm so honored that jimmy has enough confidence to let me host his show for exactly one night and nothing more. [ laughter ] just the one night. hey, speaking of jimmy, he wrote me a good luck letter for tonight. let's see what is says. shall we? let's open it up here. let's take a -- ♪ wow. tell you what, some nice card stock. wow. that's nice. someone's doing really well, huh? [ laughter ] i use post-it notes like the rest of america. i'm just a lunch pail kind of guy, you know? keeping it real 24/7. "dear will," he starts "thanks so much for hosting the show.

stay loose, have fun, and increase viewership within the target demographics by at least 2.4%." wow. that's weirdly specific. it's lovely, though. [ cheers and applause ] that's lovely. what a lovely thing to say. my first guest tonight is the funniest maya since angelou. [ laughter ] this summer she lends her voice to "the emoji movie," which makes me lol smiley face. >> congratulations, everyone! what an exciting day for all of you! >> it's really her! >> your first day on the job. >> nice! >> don't be nervous, i won't bite. >> hi, i'm flattered! >> don't touch me. >> will: "the ejoenlgmy movie" opens july 28th. please say hello to maya rudolph. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> love that clip. i know you pretty well. were you the poop or the happy face? >> a lot of people ask me that question. i'm the smiler. >> will: are you a smiler? >> yeah. but that is poop. i didn't know until i recorded the movie. that is in fact poop. >> will: wow. >> because i didn't know. they really made a poop emoji? i thought it was chocolate. >> will: that's going to do it. i thought it was a crappy part. [ laughter ] it's a lot of that, right? it's a lot of that. we know each other. we're not just one-night guest host and guest, we're legit friends. >> we are legit freps. >> jimmy: we're legit friends and professional -- >> and professional enemies. >> will: enemies. i forget how that happens. >> i don't remember. >> will: you were really mad at

me or something. >> i was like really mad. >> will: speaking of professional, you were just in london. >> yeah. >> will: for the last couple of months. >> that's pretty professional. [ laughter ] >> will: yeah. that is. >> i was there with my family. my husband was over there working and i was there just -- i took my whole family over there. it's pretty great over there. >> will: all the kids? >> i took all four of my kids, yeah. >> will: wow. >> we really like -- we lived there for a little while. we really like immersed in it. >> will: did you like it? >> i loved it. i absolutely loved it. i feel like -- i don't know, i feel like i kind of brought a little bit of english culture back with me a little bit. >> will: really? >> i feel like i did. i don't know. it's so nice there and quaint. >> will: yeah, like with your accent or something? i was going to say, you've done a little bit of a -- >> do i? >> will: a little bit of a -- >> do i? i feel like when we were there i kind of adopted -- speaking in n british accent. but i don't know if i've kept it. >> will: that's definitely an english -- yeah. [ cheers and applause ]

>> i feel like i've kept it. >> it's getting heavier by the second. >> really? >> will: that's a really aggressive english accent. >> it is a bit aggressive. but i can't hear it. [ cheers and applause ] [ laughter ] >> will: what's weird is it cuts across all the socioeconomic -- >> it just went straight to cockney. >> will: starts queen's english, straight to cockney. >> i got to say, when you're there, it is fun to appropriate things with the culture. they call french fries cute things like chips. cookies are biscuits. we did learn, this is valuable information. they call farts there trumps. [ cheers and applause ] >> will: you know what? we do here too. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]

>> will: maya, now i understand you have some exciting news. you've been spending a lot of time working on and writing a? >> a new book. [ cheers and applause ] >> will: which is exciting. >> yeah. which is exciting. except, bummer alert. it came out the exact same day as ivanka trump's new book. i got to be honest, i feel like they're really similar. >> will: yeah. i got -- i'd heard that. so i got a copy. >> people compare us a lot. they're like, you're both ladies. >> will: right. >> and, you know. i mean, that's just like really annoying. >> ivanka's book is very -- >> it's called -- you have a copy. "women who work." >> will: "women who work." >> about being a working mom, how hard it is, like super hard. you have to like take care of your kids and have a job. >> will: yeah. >> like you can't do stuff like get massages when you want them. >> will: oh my god, can you imagine a world where you can't get massages. >> are you kidding me? >> will: how does she do it on

less than $800 million? >> thank you. >> will: then your book -- >> my book is really similar. it's titled "women who twerk." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> will: good for you. >> thank you. >> will: good for you. >> i spent a lot of years and research. >> will: yeah, kind of -- almost like a memoir, right? >> it is. >> do you mind if i read an excerpt? >> would you please? >> will: this seems good as any. it was august of '82. it was hot. i mean real hot. as i sauntered out of bed in nothing but a silky negligee and matching panties i opened the curtains to reveal milos, the grounds keeper. he was looking up, muscles bulging, sweet dripping from his beautiful chiseled jaw bone. next thing i knew i felt his thick hands all over my pink nightie and the bulge of his -- okay -- throbbing. >> so similar. they are so similar. >> will: very, very similar.

>> i'm really bummed out about it because they're super similar. >> will: very similar. >> and we're both feminists so there's there. there's that. >> will: it's great for your kids. >> my kids love this kind of stuff. >> will: speaking of. what do you do with your kids in the summer? >> like camp and stuff? >> will: yeah, it's coming up. >> i haven't done sleep-away camp and that kind of stuff, have you done fit. >> went to but my kids -- >> with the kids? did you go to sleep-away camp? >> will: i did a little bit, did you? >> i grew up in l.a. and went to camp in hay fort in the sierras, a ranch camp. really? you went there? wow. oh my god. that's amazing. that's amazing. >> will: wow. she got married there, she said, i think. i don't know. >> i thought she said she got arrested there. [ laughter ] either way, either way. >> will: what do you do at ranch

camp? >> well, we rode horses. i adopted a pig. we learned how to milk -- i learned how to milk a cow which i think is really -- i find it to be very valuable information. >> will: you learned how to milk a cow? >> yeah, i feel like it's something that everyone should know. >> will: how do you mill ac cow? >> all right, so -- [ laughter ] okay. so like you pretend like you're holding a really thick sausage. >> will: all right, okay, we got it. >> no, no, really. you want to know this. you need to know this. all right, so then you took your index finger. then slowly squeeze that. then slowly squeeze your middle then your ring finger then pinky. then you squeeze very slowly. like as the liquid is coming out. you can squeeze a little faster. you can squeeze faster up in the to squeeze faster -- >> will: be gentle, be gentle, be gentle. >> all right, all right. [ laughter ]

>> will: you know, that's pretty -- that would be very useful. >> it requires coordination. >> will: very, very useful. >> every child should learn it in school. [ laughter ] >> will: when i told my mom that i was hosting this show she asked who was going to be a guest, i told her you were going to come on. >> aww. >> will: my mom who knows maya said, please have her sing, she has such a beautiful voice. [ cheers and applause ] so i'd hate to put you on the spot. but would you sing a song for my mom alex arnett? would you do it? >> only for your mom. >> will: yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> this thing on? you know -- i want to sing a little song for alex arnett. it's a beautiful song that i used to sing to my newborn daughter when she was born. and i want to share it with you guys tonight. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ blame it on the rain that was falling ♪ ♪ blame it on the stars that did

shine at night ♪ ♪ whatever you do don't put the blame you ♪ come on will ♪ blame it on the rain yeah yeah ♪ you can do this. ♪ come on blame it on the rain that was falling ♪ this is for family! ♪ blame it on the stars that they shine at night ♪ beautiful. ♪ whatever you do don't put the blame on you ♪ ♪ blame it on the reyna yeah alex would be so proud. >> the movie opens july 28th. be right back!

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>> will: welcome back. welcome back. welcome back to "jimmy kimmel live." i'm your step-host for the night, will arnett. our next guest plays a pre-commissioned commissioner gordon on "gotham," which airs monday nights on fox.

please welcome ben mckenzie. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> will: wow. wow. >> yeah. >> will: listen. i've been to -- i've been a late-night talk show host for about 14 minutes and that's what we call a hot crowd. [ cheers and applause ] now you and i, we share a connection. >> yes. >> will: and i'm not talking about the bathroom at applebee's. i'm the voice of "lego batman." >> you are. [ cheers and applause ] fantastic, "lego batman." >> will: then you play jim gordon on "gotham." >> yes. [ cheers and applause ] i love the movie. the movie was fantastic. >> will: thank you. >> i went to the theaters to see it with my 3 1/2-year-old stepson. it was fantastic.

>> will: thank you very much. >> hilarious. >> will: we had a lot of fun. >> one note. [ laughter ] >> will: okay. >> where the hell was gordon? >> will: oh, commissioner gordon? >> yeah, that. yeah, yeah. >> will: well, we had him retire in the second scene. just because we needed to keep it tight. >> so -- yeah. >> will: we had a lot of stuff that we had to -- we had to get rid of the -- >> it got a little odd. the reason i bring it up, so the 3 1/2-year-old. i need to be cool in his eyes. so i've been hyping the gordon -- you know, gordon, arguably batman's best friend. >> will: right. >> you could say, right? >> will: yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> will: one of. one of. >> or the only. the only best. >> will: he's watching now. >> he's watching right now. >> will: best friend. >> best friend. >> will: yes. >> you could argue in "gotham," of course, which he will not see for 10 years because it's tar far too violent for him.

>> will: yeah. >> gordon trains batman. >> will: sure. >> creates -- stop doing that. >> will: i don't know, creates -- look, could you -- [ bleep ]. give me a break. sorry. [ cheers and applause ] how about this. i'll make a pledge to you. >> yeah. >> will: if we decide to do another one? i'll lobby to have jim unretire. >> thank you, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> will: i know it's important. i get it. >> it's very important. >> will: i get it. what was your first acting job? >> that's a good segue. >> will: i know. it occurred to me. you're doing the jim gordon stuff, i remember you on "the oc" before that. [ cheers and applause ] you played a cop on another show as well. >> yes. "southland." >> will: i'm not stalking you. >> no, no, not at all. these people google me. >> will: yeah. >> it was actually a voice-over, my first gig. i had one line. in a diet dr pepper ad.

>> will: what was the line? >> the line was, "you demand ooter." which doesn't make sense without context. holland globetrotters instead of harlem globetrotters. you get the joke. >> will: i see. >> so there's a guy dressed in -- he has gooden shoes, he's a holland globetrotter, hilarious. >> will: sure, yeah. >> he's walking down a tunnel. why am i bagging on my first job? they're never going to hire me again. >> will: somewhere there's a dude with a bag of chips like, man, that guy's a real jerk. [ laughter ] >> i wrote that copy! >> will: i've been destitute ever since! >> i know. i booked this thing. like my first thing ever. i knew the casting director randomly are and i got the gig. then i was sent out for probably 10,000 voice-overs. and never got any. >> will: never another one. >> no. for 10 years. until i did the voice of "batman" in "batman year one." >> will: you did the voice of

batman in "batman year one." >> right. which everyone knows -- [ cheers and applause ] because it was direct to dvd. >> will: yeah. >> which some of us do 3,000 screen big blockbuster movies -- >> will: who's counting. i'm counting but -- [ laughter ] no, it's not a big -- >> it's not a competition. >> will: it's not a big deal. but now you're on "gath thom." >> very excited about that. >> will: yeah. and -- >> i directed the last episode. >> will: did you? >> i did. >> will: good for you, man. how was that? >> it was good. my fiancee is in the episode. >> will: yeah, was that hard? did she take it easy on you? >> she was great with me, very gentle. [ laughter ] my advice on directing your fiancee is the same as my advice on marriage, which is, say as little as possible. >> will: that's good, that's wise, that's sage advice. >> yeah. >> will: your fans are really ardent too. they're raise. >> they are. you must have experienced this. >> will: a little bit. you've been at comic-con. >> yes, yes. >> will: and is it -- i mean, it's a weird thing, right? >> yeah.

there's a little -- >> will: you brought some pictures along. >> yeah, just figured i'd bring some pictures along. >> will: yeah, this is you at comic-con. >> that's me at comic-con. >> will: look at that, there you go. [ applause ] >> that's not you. >> will: that's not me. here's you with another -- there we go, look at that guy. [ applause ] >> will: i mean, i don't know what to say. that's great. is it weird? saying "nice cape" to a grown man? >> a little. did you have any experiences over there? >> will: i had some weird experience tos for sure. the first day, at comic-con last year, i look on the record this balcony and i saw these dudes dressed in medieval garb. sword fighting. they were each north of 40 years old. there was an even older dude who was the umpire. the referee. >> yes. >> will: and he was even more into it. and scoring them, i don't know

what the scoring system was. but there wasn't even a crowd, they were just doing it for themselves. >> right, for sure. for sure. [ laughter ] >> will: that -- that to me is the crazy thing. well, you know -- because of this batman connection, i thought that maybe we could have a bat voice-off what do you think about that? >> i love that. [ cheers and applause ] >> will: we're each going to read a fortune cookie real quick. we're just going to is see -- >> we know how this works. >> who does it better. you can go first. i'm going to get real moody. >> i'll eat it. >> will: that's not going to be good. >> one second. it's a fortune cookie, it's delicious, i don't know. your mentality is alert.

practical. and analytical. [ cheers and applause ] >> will: very good. mine is, your work interest can capture the highest status of prestige. [ cheers and applause ] >> will: thank you, thank you. thanks, everybody. "gotham" airs monday nights at 8:00 p.m. on fox. when we return, music from incubus! >> dicky: "the jimmy kimmel live concert series" is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. attention. we - and by we, we mean us, the entertainment-loving people of america, have updated our terms and conditions. one. from now on, the word "television" will no longer be defined as that thing over there on the wall. we want all our things to be television things.

phones. ipads. refrigerators. heart monitors. ok, maybe not heart monitors. two. our shows and movies. we want them when we want them. so they should go with us. anywhere? you got that right, kid show thing. three. nothing beats live. so we want to stream all that sweet live stuff. like football. red carpets. and yelling. wait! what are we yelling about, guys? four. we don't just want unlimited data. we want unlimited entertainment. like unlimited hbo. can i stop dying now mark? c'mon man. it's unlimited. last thing. we just want all our stuff... the way we want all our stuff. that's not too much to ask is it? only at&t brings you entertainment on your terms. directv, wireless, internet. it's entertainment your way. shsale this weekend!& family and take an extra 20% off sale prices on a great gift for mom! like diamond earrings for only $39.99! take an extra 20% off a ninja coffee bar and new sandals are just $11.99. you'll get kohl's cash too!

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♪ sweet cinnamon-sugar on the outside, crazy on the inside. crave those crazy squares. ♪ sweet cinnamon-sugar on the outside, crazy on the inside. crave those crazy squares. >> dicky: "the jimmy kimmel live concert series" is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> will: their album is called "eight." here with the song "nimble bastard," incubus!

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ has it come to this we're stuck in the weeds ♪ ♪ i get it i'm not perfect i was never trying to be but i'm not long for this earth ♪ ♪ if we really only ever get one chance to ♪ ♪ burn i gotta trip before i can see the finish uh huh how else would i ♪ ♪ learn i wanna know how is it you do it ♪ when you land on your feet you're a nimble bastard and you don't skip a beat such a nimble bastard ♪ ♪ salt of the earth nimble bastard yeah won't you show lowly us ♪ ♪ how do you see the stars from that far down

uh huh ♪ ♪ i swing and i miss and then come the creeps it makes me want to ♪ ♪ faint i wanna know how is it you do it uh huh how do you spill ♪ ♪ the paint and then fit it into a frame ♪ ♪ when you land on your feet you're a nimble bastard and you don't skip a beat such a nimble bastard ♪ ♪ salt of the earth nimble bastard yeah won't you show lowly us ♪ ♪ how do you see the stars from that far down ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ has it come to this has it come to this ♪ ♪ when you land on your feet you're a nimble bastard and you don't skip a beat such a nimble bastard ♪ ♪ salt of the earth yeah won't you show lowly us how do you see the stars

from that far down ♪ ♪ ♪ you're a nimble bastard whoa whoa ♪ ♪ such a nimble bastard ♪ salt of the earth you're a nimble bastard ♪ ♪ won't you show lowly ussee th ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

food. water. internet. we need it to live. but what we don't need are surprises, like extra monthly fees. i see you, fee, played by legendary actress anjelica huston. you got me, mark. we just want fast internet for one, simple rate. for all the streaming and the shopping and the newsing, but most of all... for the this. internet for one everyday simple price and no extra monthly fees. well it's a perfect nespresso hold on a second.orge. mmm. ♪ [mel torme sings "comin' home baby"]

hey there. want a lift? ♪ where are we going? no don't tell me. let me guess. ♪ have a nice ride. ♪ how far would you go for coffee that's a cup above? i brought you nespresso. nespresso. what else? >> will: thank you very much, thank you. anthony anderson will be filling in tomorrow, i left half a burrito in the guest host mini fridge if you're hungry, anthony. i'd like to thank maya rudolph, ben mckenzie, and jimmy kimmel for letting me sit at his desk like a big boy. [ laughter ] "nightline" is neck, good night. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

this is "nightline." >> tonight, air raid. passengers putting their dukes in the upright position before takeoff on this japanese airline flight. >> went on a complete rampage. >> the moment this man says he just had to get involved. and what you can do to navigate the stressful skies. amidst a rash of cabin combat incidents. plus, on the brink. david muir on the front lines of a region facing famine. >> you think you're losing these children? >> inside remote villages in somaliland rack the with hunger and rescue workers bringing food and water to desperate families. the humanitarian crisis much of the world doesn't even know about. and -- ♪