we appreciate your time. >> for all of us >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, steve harvey. from "it," bill skarsgard. "baby bachelor in paradise." and music from anderson east. and now, heading this way, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that's very nice. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] i hope you had a good labor day. labor day, in case you don't know history, labor day was established all the way back in 1894 as a way to give americans an extra day to dread going back

to work after the weekend. and it's been very successful. we were off for two weeks. and it's interesting. when we left, we were busy reliving the civil war. now we're back with the good old-fashioned korean war. [ laughter ] who says we're not making progress? most of our staff went on vacation over -- did you go on vacation over the break? >> guillermo: yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: where did you go? >> i went to punta mita. >> jimmy: oh, mexico. >> guillermo: mexico, yeah. >> jimmy: and they let you back, huh? gr >> guillermo: of course. >> jimmy: that's good news. i worked. we're working on a chain of restaurants. we're planning to open 30 of them by the end of the year and more of them next year. it's a really good idea. it's called hot dog off a stick. we sell all beef hot dogs, no sticks. they're totally stickless. [ laughter ] and i don't want to jinx it. but i think they're going to make me very, very rich. [ applause ] we -- thank you. by the way, pumpkin latte --

pumpkin spice latte season is happening now, which is great news. my doctor's been saying i haven't been getting enough syrup in my diet. this is my favorite time of year you can get up early, go to starbucks, and essentially drink a pie. why they start this when it's still 95 degrees outside, it's the beverage equivalent of putting your christmas lights up in july. but they do. [ laughter ] meanwhile, our pumpkin spice president was very busy -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] he was on the scene in houston over the weekend to meet with texans affected by hurricane harvey. and watch this. he's with a group. they were serving meals to people who were displaced from their homes. they handed him a pair of latex gloves for health reasons because he's serving food. and here's how that went. >> my hands are too big. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: his hands are too big for the gloves. like o.j. they're too big. [ laughter ]

i want to show that again. because you can actually see the moment when he comes up with the line. watch. now, it hits him. he waits to see -- make sure the camera's on him. and then -- >> my hands are too big. >> jimmy: he delivers. what a tortured individual. but he's really helpful. he even helped relief workers outside a church load supplies onto a pickup truck. >> loading it up, huh? >> and one more. >> good job. >> you got it? okay, fellas. you're all set. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what? we are? the truck is like 1/13 of the way full. [ laughter ] you could still load an atv back there if you wanted to. did you see the letter obama left for trump? it's a tradition that on inauguration day the outgoing president leaves a note for his successor with well wishes and

maybe some words of wisdom. clinton did it, bush did it. and the one obama wrote for president trump was released over the weekend. i guess trump had been showing it to people visiting his office. and one of those people shared it with cnn. it starts, "dear guy who questioned my citizenship and said i founded isis. congratulations." [ laughter ] no. actually, it's a very nice letter. obama signed it b.o. and then trump spent the next month wondering who the hell president bo was. [ laughter ] but it's a nice -- i wonder if trump will have time to write one to mike pence as he's being dragged out of the oval office. [ laughter ] the big story today, this morning our president woke up and asked his staff now that this hurricane is over, what's something horrible i can do to distract people from the russia investigation? someone said, you know, there are 800 now innocent kids you could deport for no good reason, and he said done and done. [ laughter ] president trump has decided to do away with what's known as the deferred action for childhood arrivals, daca they call it. it's a program that gives

undocumented immigrants whose parents brought them into the country when they were children the chance to work and go to school legally. and this is what he wants to do away with. mostly because president obama's the one who ordered it. it seems like his main agenda is just to undo everything obama did. i hope he doesn't bring bin laden back to life. [ laughter ] because that's -- but anyway. [ cheers and applause ] a few months ago -- it's a surprise because a few months ago trump said that those covered by daca could rest easy. and that's when you know you're in trouble. it's like when dracula tells you to relax and take off your scarf. [ laughter ] these are american kids. some of these kids have never visited the places they could get deported to. the president's spokesperson said it was a difficult decision, the president's been debating it for months but ultimately donald trump believes that if these kids want to be american they have to do it the right way. by marrying donald trump. and that's as simple as that. [ laughter ] [ applause ]

and by the way, i want to say opposition to this doesn't just come from the left. many republicans support daca and even some members of the president's closest inner circle are for it too. >> get them out of here. get them out. >> president trump has rescinded daca. a program designed to protect the children of immigrants. it's time to send a signal to washington. children are not to blame. these children, for instance, can't help that their mother was an eastern european immigrant. >> this is hungarian goulash which i'm making. >> these dreamers work hard to put shoes on american feet and to do whatever these with two do. [ laughter ] tell congress to protect these children of immigrants. no matter how terrible their parents are. paid for with daddy's money. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: maybe they're just looking for a way to get rid of the kids. here's another thing people are upset about. another unexpected attack on

immigrants. you know mario? luigi's brother? the plumber with the mustache from donkey kong? well, according to a new character bio posted by nintendo, mario is no longer a plumber. i know. [ laughter ] his bio says he used to be a plumber a long time ago. and of course this got people really powered up. there were angry posts on social media. mario is a plumber. how dare they say he isn't? you've ruined my childhood. screw you, nintendo. all that kind of thing. look, super mario eats mushrooms and gets in fights with turtles. he's not a plumber. he's a stoner. okay? [ laughter ] the only plumbing he does is when he loses his keys in the toilet bowl. so calm down. probably getting deported back to italy anyway. [ laughter ] speaking of foreigners with undetermined jobs, i want to congratulate prince william and his wife kate. she is pregnant with what will be their third child after their son crumpet and their daughter frimplebritches, right?

[ laughter ] the baby will be fifth in line to the throne. prince charles, prince william, prince george, one of queen elizabeth's hats, the one with the birds on them, and then the new kid. if they keep having kids, these people might be able to sell tlc a reality show. william & kate plus eight i think would be very popular. [ applause ] thank you. they've been away for a while. finally, you know congress is back to work today. they had a recess in the month of august. the nice thing about congress going back to work is almost indistinguishable from congress not going back to work. but they have a lot of work to do. they have major issues to address. hurricane relief, tax reform, raising the debt ceiling. of course they still haven't given up on frying to kick people off health insurance. so full plate there. they also have to try to avoid a government shutdown, which i will say, congresspeople are the only job in the world where you can be so ineffective you can shut your own place of business down and still get to come back

and work there. if the guy who makes your coffee was a congressman, this is what it would look like. okay? well, hello, guy who makes my coffee. may i have a cappuccino, please? >> maybe. how much money do you have? >> i don't understand. >> i ask how much money you have because we haven't decided how much we're going to make it cost yet. >> the board says 4.25 for a cappuccino. >> our board says a lot of stupid things. that board is trying to make america great again. >> and how's that working out for you? >> better than the obama board. >> oh, for god's sake. i can't work with him. >> i can't work with you, either, snowflake. >> nazi. >> jimmy: guys, guys, can i just get a cappuccino? i'm really not interested in the argument. >> no. would'ven't agreed on how to make it yet. >> or who should get one. >> or who's going to pay for all this coffee. >> or what it should be made of. the cup should be recyclable. >> cup should be made out of american steel. >> jimmy: look, i have five daughters. please just give me a cup of

coffee. >> i can't work like this. >> me neither. we're closed. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i'm going to keep the $5. great job, guys. come out here for a second. come back out here for a second. i just want to point out that we got the two hairiest guys on staff. [ laughter ] to pretend to be serving food. you shouldn't be allowed to serve food. all right. get out of here, will you? >> there you go. >> jimmy: there we go. we have to take a break. when we come back, we will delve into "bachelor in paradise" and the latest episode of "baby bachelor in paradise." so stick around. we'll be right back. >> dicky: abc's "jimmy kimmel live," brought to you by american express. where do you want to go next?

♪ ♪ only the platinum card gives you more reasons to go anywhere and everywhere. ♪ ♪ earn rewards like never before with 5 times points on flights, from american express. ♪ ♪ because there's always more world, there's platinum. backed by the service and security of american express. ever wonder what's in a beer? if it's a bud light, it's four essential ingredients: barley, rice, water and hops. here's to the beer you can always count on. america'srice, water and hops. favorite light lager.

tha...oh, burnt-on gravy?ie. you can always count on. ...gotta rinse that. nope. no way. nada. really? dish issues? throw it all in. new cascade platinum powers through... even burnt-on gravy. nice. cascade. we, the people, are tired of being surprised with extra monthly fees. we want hd. and every box and dvr. all included. because we don't like surprises. yeah. like changing up the celebrity at the end to someone more handsome. and talented. really. and british.

switch from cable to directv. get 4 rooms with hd, dvr, and every box included for $25 a month. call 1-800-directv. the lincoln summer invitation is on. now get our best offers of the season. on the agile mkc. and the versatile midsize lincoln mkx. or go where summer takes you in the exhilarating mkz. hurry in it's the final days of the lincoln summer invitation sales event. ending september 5th. right now, get zero percent apr plus 1,000 dollars summer savings on the lincoln mkx, mkc and mkz. depend real fit briefs feature breathable, cotton-like fabric. in situations like this, there's no time for distractions. it's not enough to think i'm ready. i need to know i'm ready. no matter what lies ahead. get a free sample at depend.com.

this scarf all that's my left to rememb... sayonara. what. she washed this like a month ago! the long lasting scent of gain. now available in matching scents across your entire laundry routine.

>> jimmy: hi, welcome back. steve harvey, bill skarsgard and music from anderson east is on the way. first we have not one but two episodes of "bachelor in paradise" to dive into. abc graced us with new shows last night and tonight. if you haven't been watching "bachelor in paradise," well, first congratulations. you're still considered pure enough to get into heaven. but you're missing out. because last night a romance emerged between blake and daniel. daniel is the canadian model slash personal trainer. he's the guy who got very chummy with bad chad during the -- i've been watching too much of this show. [ laughter ] anyway, this is not daniel's first brodeo. he and bad chad, their relationship ended badly. i think there might be a good reason why. daniel says he's there to find a woman. i'm not entirely convinced that's the case. >> you seem like a cool dude. i don't know.

>> i appreciate that. >> but somebody said you're -- >> keto -- >> is that french? >> high fat, low protein, no carb diet. >> sounds miserable. don't you need carbs for sexual function? >> no. >> someone said you have a really nice penis. >> hmm? >> you can show me. i don't care. i've seen [ bleep ] in my time. you're a guy, i'm a guy. >> he didn't want to show me his beautiful penis. maybe he wants to show it to me tomorrow. a couple bros hanging out. nothing wrong with that. >> jimmy: no. [ laughter ] boy, canadians really are friendly. i have to say. so that happened last night. then tonight, this is my favorite moment from tonight's show between christen and jack. we make fun of the fact people who go on these relationship shows aren't really looking for a relationship. and tonight jack who was eliminated on "the bachelorette" earlier this year showed us why we do that. >> i 100% see myself possibly falling in love and marrying her one day. >> jimmy: did you catch that?

100% possibly. [ laughter ] that should be the slogan for the show. [ laughter ] which is better, 100% possibly or 50% definitely? [ laughter ] [ applause ] and by the way, if we're going to start deporting young people from the country, i say let's start with the ones who are already drunk on a beach in mexico on "bachelor in paradise." [ laughter ] young love is a beautiful thing. and as you may know, i am the host and executive producer of a very popular bachelor spinoff show. it's called "baby bachelor in paradise." we take children away from their parents and put them on an island, not unlike lord of the flies. an new episode that we call episode 3. last time on "baby bachelor in paradise." >> get out of here. he doesn't want you. >> a motorcycle's following us! >> did you guys miss me?

♪ >> where did this guy come from? >> what the heck is chad doing here? >> chad. >> feels good to be here, to get another opportunity. hopefully things will go better this time. >> what are your thoughts, chad? >> so far i've only seen kids. so i'm a little confused at that. ♪ let's get this party started >> just kids? just kids. well, i can work out and hang out and teach the kids some of my wisdom. >> jimmy: elsewhere in paradise charley resigns herself to the possibility she'll grow old alone surrounded by rescue dogs. what charley doesn't know is that hope is on the horizon.

a new young old familiar face from before. >> i'm clive. >> clive wasted no time impressing the ladies. >> there's a bee in the pool. >> and charley wasted no time to buzz in. charley worries clive won't accept her past. >> jimmy: charley decided to pour one out for the homies and start anew. ♪ >> hold on. it's going to be okay. >> jimmy: clive, it seems like you've fallen for charley.

have you? >> yeah. >> jimmy: when you met charley, did you sense it right away? was there a connection? >> she's an amazing person. >> jimmy: that's a sweet thing to say. clive, are you worried about getting into a relationship with charley? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what are you scared of? >> spiders. >> jimmy: you're scared of spiders. >> yeah. >> jimmy: well, there are a lot of tangled webs for you to go through, and i wish you the best. and i hope you get those rocks out of your sandal too. aidan and kennedy's romance heats up in the hot tub. >> do you like paradise? >> yeah. >> the hot tub was a lot, a lot of fun. >> cannonball! >> till ethan started splashing us. >> waboom. >> i like to jump in that hot

tub. >> and splash. >> hello, little man. you've got to play p cool. no splashing, little dude. excuse me, guys. mind if i such come in here? >> you're squishing us. >> what's up? >> get out of here. >> do you guys know where the grown-ups are? >> are you trying to go, bro? >> i'm going to kick his butt. >> that's how it's going to be, bro? splash me, i'll splash you. >> i didn't expect ethan to come at me like that, but -- >> woman! >> i think i see a lot of myself in ethan. >> la, la, la, la, la. >> jimmy: on the next "baby

batch or in paradise," who gets engaged? who gets mad? >> he better give me that ring. >> jimmy: and dylan and chad have a heart to heart. >> you've got girls out here. >> yeah, we have girls out here. and we have a roller coaster. >> you've got girls. >> yeah. and we have a giant spiky carnival. >> a giant spiky carnival. >> yeah. everyone is made of cactus. >> jimmy: next time on "baby bachelor in paradise." [ cheers and applause ] thanks, kids. tonight on the show music from anderson east, from "it" bill skarsgard. we'll be right back with steve harvey. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ we are not here to observe, to sit idly by, or watch from the stands. we are here...for one reason. to leave...a mark.

lexus high performance. with 5.0-liter v8s and sport direct-shift transmissions. experience a shift in the natural order. experience amazing. buy one take one is back starat olive garden. come in for a fan favorite like smoked mozzarella chicken here and leave with a great meal too. buy one take one. hurry in, it's only for a limited time. at olive garden.

>> jimmy: you left the family in houston. like oh, this thing looks bad. i'm going to go stay with some friends in l.a.? well, you see, heroes, they come from everywhere, folks.

dilike, outside dirt,. that's not a bad thing. also, it comes off. inside dirt, yeah. that's way different. but now there's a more powerful chevron with techron. yeah. it has even more cleaning power to clean up deposits left by low quality gas. and cleaning up deposits restores lost gas mileage. it's legit. now with more cleaning power. chevron with techron. care for your car. nice hat!

good starts with g. gloriously great tasting whole grains. they're whole! every gram glistening with genuine golden honey. it's true! real cocoa, peanut butter and cinnamon too. [glass breaks] oops! sorry! just gearing you up for good mornings and good afternoons. [cheers] [laughing] these whole grains will get you going good. speaking of good. try new apple cinnamon toast crunch.

♪ >> jimmy: tonight from the scary new movie "it" bill skarsgard is here. then this is his new single. it's called "all on my mind." anderson east from the mercedes-benz stage. [ cheers and applause ] you can see anderson live on tour with the great chris stapleton. tomorrow night dr. phil will be with us, mike tyson will be here. that'll be a good duo. [ laughter ] comedian martin urbano. later this week christian slater, richard lewis, abbi and ilana from "broad city" and music from khalid and jack

johnson too. [ applause ] our first guest tonight is the hardestworking man in television. many are calling him the bald ryan seacrest. he has a new daytime talk show called "steve." please welcome steve harvey. [ cheers and applause ] how are you? >> this is nice, man. this is nice. >> jimmy: are you coveting this stage? because you are now doing a talk show and you see things that you like that you may even want. >> right out here. you know, i want this crowd. yeah. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, you should because i'm going to tell you something, 1k3i don't want to go into it too much, but we have a hero in the crowd tonight. >> who? >> jimmy: a guy who lives in houston. the hurricane came, he got the hell out of there.

[ laughter ] >> i saw him. >> jimmy: left his whole family behind. [ laughter ] >> and he's got some explaining to do. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: indeed he does. >> this is not the trip he thought it was going to be. [ laughter ] whoo! >> jimmy: may have been a one-way ticket. steve, how many jobs do you have now? let's plea go through them. if you can even remember the names of all the shows you're on. >> talk show, "family feud," "celebrity family feud." "little big shots." "little big shots forever young." showtime at at pollo is coming back. and "funderdome." >> jimmy: that's seven. >> seven. >> jimmy: and doing your radio show as well. >> still doing the radio show. can't leave no check behind. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so when labor day comes, you don't get the day off, do you? did you work on labor day? >> yeah, i worked. yeah. i worked on labor day. i missed it too because you know, it's the time where i put

the -- i break out the grill and the smoker. but it's a little bit different. secrecy i'm a professional. >> jimmy: as far as what? cooking goes? grilling goes? >> grilling. >> jimmy: whatever. barbecue? >> i'm offended. [ laughter ] grilling is for amateurs. see, when i'm out there on the grill and the smoker it's not grilling, it's not even barbecuing. it's bobbycue. b-o-b-b-y-q. i bobbyq. see, a lot of people barbecue and grill. i bobbyq. they're totally different. if you go over to somebody's house, you want to come over to the barbecue? it's not going to be enjoyable. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it's not? >> you're going to have roasted corn and weanies with the little cuts in it and grilled chicken breast. >> jimmy: i made corn and hot dogs on labor day.

yeah. [ laughter ] >> no, man, i bobby-q. >> jimmy: so that involves what, exactly? what are you making. >> bobby-q. well, it starts off at pork. by don't eat pork. >> jimmy: you don't? >> well, see, when you bobby-q and you put a slab of ribs on open fire the way i do it, and it cooks, it loses all its pork properties and it becomes a whole new meat group. it's called bobby-q. [ laughter ] yeah, it's no longer pork. >> jimmy: so if you're kosher -- >> you're muslim, you can -- yes. >> jimmy: you can eat it. >> yeah. [ laughter ] come on over, man. do it. bobby-q. >> jimmy: you moved here from chicago. you were moving in chicago. you moved out here to do this show, your talk show now. are you happy to be out here? >> yeah, man. i mean, this is nice. the weather. >> jimmy: right. >> like right now in chicago it's one of the most beautiful cities. the people are great. but in like 13 days it's going to snow.

[ laughter ] >> jimmy: it goes right from sweltering to snow. >> two weeks of summer. damn it, winter. that's it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and where does your family live? are they living out there? >> well no, they used to come visit, but just very rarely. >> jimmy: in chicago. >> yeah, they very rarely came to chicago. because it's cold as hell. don't nobody just fly in. out here we're empty nesters now. but they all keep coming. >> jimmy: now that you're in l.a. they want to visit. >> yes, l.a., oh, dad, we missed you. you never said that before. [ laughter ] so they just all show up. it's hot. swimming pools, palm trees. they're enjoying it. >> jimmy: do they bring the kids? how many grandchildren -- >> i've got grandkids now. i have four grandkids. three years we had no grandchildren. we have four grandkids now. >> jimmy: that's how it works. they just pop up like that. [ laughter ] >> i'm going to tell you

something. okay, my oldest granddaughter is rose. she's a little over 2. she got potty trained. >> jimmy: right. >> and so the kids brought them out this summer. and marjorie and i are watching the kids, but marjorie exercises every morning. so she left me at the house with the kids. i don't -- that's not what i do. [ laughter ] i don't watch kids. i just don't. i'm through with that. i ain't changed a diaper in 18 years. and so they leave me at home with my granddaughter and my grandson. they're brother and sister. she's almost 3. he's just 1. he's a boy. she's potty trained, but she had an accident. now, the way she had the accident i was supposed to be watching them, but i put them in a room and they got this program called pepa pig. >> jimmy: i know it well. >> all you have to do is put that on and they look at it. so i left them upstairs in the room and i went downstairs because i'm old. you know, i like coffee and quiet. and so i'm thinking they're watching peppa pig.

so she has an accident upstairs, a little booboo accident. but she's a very smart little girl. so she tries to clean herself. so she just got on pull-ups. she pull them off, she takes a whole pack of baby wipes, the whole damn pack, and cleaned herself. now, this is a 3-year-old cleaning. so it ain't clean at all. and it's baby wipes with boo all over the floor. but she takes as many as she can and she puts them in the baby wipe and she tapes it shut. then she takes the baby wipe -- now, her little brother, he's 1. he's watching this whole thing. he's a boy. he's stupid. he's just sitting there. she takes the diaper and folds throws it in his crib. she tried to frame him. [ laughter ] [ applause ] so she puts on the fresh pull-up and she comes downstairs. i notice it right away. and i go, oh, man, what the hell

she done done here? [ laughter ] i'm not cleaning no diaper. so i put another episode of "peppa pig on" and just shut the door. [ laughter ] i go downstairs. marjorie comes back from exercising. she walks home and she says, steve, where the kids at? i say they've been upstairs watching "peppa pig." we go upstairs together. she open the door, she goes, oh, my god. what is going on? i stepped in the door and i said oh, hell, no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: steve harvey. he has a lot to teach us. we'll be right back. when you have moderate to severe ulcerative colitis, the unpredictability of a flare may weigh on your mind. thinking about what to avoid, where to go, and how to work around your uc. that's how i thought it had to be.

but then i talked to my doctor about humira, and learned humira can help get and keep uc under control... when certain medications haven't worked well enough. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection. raise your expectations and ask your gastroenterologist if humira may be right for you. with humira, control is possible.

are you ok? what happened? dad kinda walked into my swing. huh? don't you mean dad kind of ruined our hawaii fund? i thud go to the thothpital. there goes the airfair.nsn'e will cover all... of that. buth my fathe! without that cash from - aflac! - we might have to choose between hawaii or your face. hawaii! what? haha...hawaii! you might have less coverage than you think. visit aflac.com and keep your lifestyle healthy. aflac!

modern life deserves a mit's sold out.ay. don't fret, my friend. i masterpassed it! you can use it online and on your phone i masterpassed it. you got the tickets? onward!

playing the hero: priceless masterpass. the secure way to pay from your bank don't just buy it. masterpass it. welcome to maxx you. you are whimsical, vibrant, statement making. we see what makes you unique. so we have something for everyone, at a price that's just right for you. maxx you. maxx life. t.j.maxx a lot of, different, a lotingredients.nts. our beer is brewed with four essential ingredients: barley, rice, water, and hops. here's to the beer you can always count on. brewed to be america's favorite light lager.

wea whole new place that'swe lookin' to get scared! (laughter) now halloween time is in dineyland and disney california adventure parks! throughout history, the one meal when we come together,

break bread, share our day and connect as a family. [ bloop, clicking ] and connect, as a family. just, uh one second voice guy. [ bloop ] huh? hey? i paused it. bam, family time. so how is everyone? find your awesome with xfinity xfi and change the way you wifi. >> jimmy: we're back with steve harvey. steve harvey has a new daytime talk show. you said it's a late-night show in the daytime. >> yeah, man. i just -- i've been trying to tell them to put me on late night, but they -- they just keep telling me -- >> jimmy: if you told abc they'd probably put you on. >> abc would do it. abc loves me. i gave them two hits. >> jimmy: i don't doubt it. you had a daytime show. how many years ago was that? >> i had it for five straight years.

it ended in chicago in may. and it just started up today. >> jimmy: that was "the steve harvey show." this is "steve." >> "steve." >> jimmy: how are the shows different? >> first of all i was watching oprah and ellen and i discovered they were very successful by not using their last name. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: smart. >> i just said, i keep dragging this out with this damn steve harvey business. i'm just going to go ahead and be steve. >> jimmy: that's good thinking. >> that's the big difference. then i'm just doing the late-night flavor. i come out, i do a monologue. i've got a desk. i'm doing a lot of celebrities now. >> jimmy: do you have anything in the desk or is it just a pretend -- >> there's not a damn thing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, mine too. >> it's empty. it don't even look like a desk. it looks look a counter. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i hope you're not tired of talking about this. but that memo you put out to your staff at the old show telling everyone to leave you alone. i just want you to know that i agree with that. i am the only person i think in america -- >> thank you. >> jimmy: -- like steve's right.

everyone else is like geez, what's up with steve? >> like i was this horrible person. i'm really a nice guy. but just i'm such a nice guy people just take advantage of it. i've got six shows, man, and everybody's take advantage. i really only wrote the memo for two damn people really. [ laughter ] my stupid -- instead of sending it everybody i should have just sent it directly to them. but i thought it was a lawsuit if i did that. and yeah, they -- i didn't know i was in trouble until i woke up one morning and it was on cnn. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. that's weird, isn't it? >> whoo. >> jimmy: i want to say thank you, though. because you sent that memo i think people at other talk shows all around the country kind of got the message, don't wait in the elevator for the host to jump out at them and ask them a question. >> they just do it. i'm a nice guy. i come offstage and people are outside with their mama. and i've got to take a picture with them and everything. and i've just come offstage. i'm tired. and i take a picture with the

mama. then their mama got a dog and i've got to take a picture with the dog. then they got gas bills in their pocket that ain't been paid. [ laughter ] i was in the hallway one day, i paid a lady's gas bill. she told me she had a disconnection notice. i felt bad. i gave her $280. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: you wrbing taken advantage of. you're right. no wonder you have eight jobs. >> i help a lot of people. >> jimmy: that's steve harvey. if you play your cards right, if you get him at the right moment, he will pay your gas bill. >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the show is called "steve." it airs every day in syndication. steve harvey, thank you very much. >> my man. >> jimmy: we'll be right back with bill skarsgard. [ cheers and applause ]

60% of women are wearing the wrong size pad and can experience leaks discover always my fit. find the number that's right for your flow and panty size on the top of any always pack. the better the fit, the better it protects. always. when it comes to planning trthe best routes,. nobody does it better. he's also a championship-winning football coach. look at that formation. but when it comes to mortgages,

he's less confident. fortunately for andre, there's rocket mortgage by quicken loans. it's simple, so he can understand the details and be sure he's getting the right mortgage. apply simply. understand fully. mortgage confidently. haven't you ever wanted somwatch your step.y? a pilot like you should be serving your country. you're c.i.a.? based on an incredible true story... we're sending you to columbia. of the c.i.a.'s biggest secret. i have helped build the biggest drug cartel this world has ever seen. tom cruise. all this is legal? if you're doin' it for the good guys. [ police sirens ] no mas. no mas. [ laughter ] [ gun shot ] woo! we recognize the dangers involved here. no you don't. shoot the gringo. american made. rated r. depression is a tangle of multiple symptoms. ♪ that's why there's trintellix, a prescription medication for depression. trintellix may help you take a step forward

in improving your depression. tell your healthcare professional right away if your depression worsens, or you have unusual changes in mood, behavior or thoughts of suicide. antidepressants can increase these in children, teens and young adults. do not take with maois. tell your healthcare professional about your medications, including migraine, psychiatric and depression medications, to avoid a potentially life-threatening condition. increased risk of bleeding or bruising may occur, especially if taken with nsaid pain relievers, aspirin or blood thinners. manic episodes or vision problems may occur in some people. may cause low sodium levels. the most common side effects were nausea, constipation and vomiting. trintellix had no significant impact on weight in clinical trials. ask your healthcare professional about trintellix. we don't just want to watch games cable gives us. we want all the teams, no matter where we live- with directv nfl sunday ticket. we want falcons in new york. jets in la.

bears in new orleans. or buccaneers in a quaint, little new england bed and breakfast. can you please pass the marmalade, charlie? i sure can, crazy pirate. switch to directv and get every game, every sunday with nfl sunday ticket. call 1-800-directv.

for years, men have enjoyed their man caves without guilt. now, it's mama's turn. welcome to my she shed. ...where i enjoy not cooking, not gardening, and not cleaning. ...where me and the girls can let loose. oh, look at the time! me time... mmm..brownies. fiber one 90 calorie brownies. allll mine. >> jimmy: hi there. welcome back to the show. our next guest plays a killer clown named pennywise in the scary new take on stephen king's classic "it." it opens in theaters friday. please welcome bill

[ cheers and applause ] well, it's very good to have you here. you're from sweden i understand. >> i'm from stockholm, that's right. >> jimmy: stockholm. yes, i've heard of that. what goes on in stockholm? is it a fun place to live? >> it's a place, yeah. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: are you still living there? >> i've been sort of on the road for seven years. so i'm trying to figure it out. >> jimmy: acting and going around and whatever. >> yeah. >> jimmy: do you have a home or are you -- your last name is very at the least familiar to people because your dad stellan is an actor. >> yeah, he's an actor. >> jimmy: he was in -- he's in so many movies. he's in "good will hunting." the "thor." movies. your brother alexander is an actor. so is this something that your dad encouraged you to do, to be an actor? is this something you wanted? >> you have to, yeah. he has eight kids. and the first rule is you have to become an actor. >> jimmy: eight children. how many of them are actors?

>> half so far. so four. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: and there's a possibility that more skarsgards -- >> yeah, because there's the two ones that are very little. >> jimmy: do you hope that they don't just to kind of reduce some of the competition -- >> competition, yeah. [ laughter ] i thought i was going to be the youngest one. and then my little brother is 5 years younger and better-looking -- >> jimmy: you never know nowadays -- >> it's just a whole kind of greek epic story. >> jimmy: yeah. and when you were a kid, did you travel with your father and go to movie sets and get to see all that stuff? >> yeah. for sure. he would shoot -- and my dad's career kind of took off when i was a kid and he would -- international career at least, and he would shoot in all these very exotic locations. and i -- you know, he would bring the entire family and pretty much break even. >> jimmy: yeah, that's a lot of people to bring. >> yeah. it's a lot of kids to bring. and he would bring a house for us all to come -- >> jimmy: do you remember being on any of those sets and seeing something that still kind of lasts in your mind?

>> i get the question a lot where it's like oh, you come from an acting family and for a kid acting is like the most appealing job ever. like you're 8 years old and you're on a set and your dad's like -- your dad's your dad. but like on set he has like a gun, thick mustache, and the whole thing. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> so for me it's like -- as a kid that's what you do being a kid, playing like with your friends. so the appeal of this imaginary, you know, fantastical way of just being paid and being an adult and acting like a child i think was planted at a very young age. >> jimmy: and now you get to be a clown who eats children. >> exactly. [ laughter ] we go full circle here. >> jimmy: we have a picture of your look. people are scared already. were the kids on set actually scared of you? >> i don't know. i don't know. the kids were -- because when you work with kids like actors you never know if they're going to be game or not.

like some kids that are actors that have this kind of raw talent, and some of them are like professional actors at 12 years of age. >> jimmy: right. yes. >> these seemed to be -- like you didn't know going into it but they were all like really professional actors. this one kid, jack racer plays eddie in the movie. it was my first day of shooting and we kind of deliberately kept me separated from the kids. they'd never seen a clown, they'd never really met me, and this is one scene and the scene of the movie is very intense. and it was my first day. so i needed to kind of get into character and it was like, oh, hey there, jack, how are you? looking like that. and the scene i walk out and i approach him and it's a really intense scene and i'm sort of right in his face. i'm drooling all over him. and he's crying. and we sort of block it briefly without doing really emotion into it. and then you know, they yell action and i do it. and i'm doing this clown thing and i'm screaming -- because part of pennywise is that he hates the kids and there's so

much anger -- >> jimmy: most clowns do. [ laughter ] >> and then i approach him and i scream in his face and we're doing the scene and he's crying and gagging and doing this whole thing. and in the back of my head as we're shooting it i'm like oh, my god, i'm traumatizing this child. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> like what am i doing? and then he -- and then they say -- you know, they yell cut, and i go, are you okay, jack? he goes, "i loved what you were doing. i loved what you were doing with the character." [ applause ] >> jimmy: this is why clowns hate children. >> yeah. and i was like, i love what you're doing with the character? thank you, jack. >> jimmy: thank you, jack. do you think you'll keep in touch with jack after the film wraps? >> well, i hope he'll hire me at one point. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, right. well, i don't watch scary movies because i get too scared. but i heard this one is particularly scary. i think you've got a good one on your hands. >> but you'll never watch it? >> jimmy: i will never see it, no. [ laughter ]

>> you should. >> jimmy: do you like scary movies? >> it's weird. i've kind of become this like genre actor now it seems like. and i never really got into the idea of getting scared. >> jimmy: yeah, me neither. i don't like it. you know why? it scares me. [ laughter ] >> yeah, right. there's two ways to go about it. some people really enjoy and love the sensation of fear. and i get like upset and angry. >> jimmy: i think that's what god intended for us to experience with fear. like when we see bears coming at us we're not supposed to go oh, this is awesome. >> yeah. >> jimmy: we're supposed to run. exactly. that's a good lesson for everybody. all right. [ laughter ] well, thank you for being here. the movie is called "it." it opens in theaters friday. bill skarsgard, everybody. we'll be right back with anderson east. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.

♪ ♪ be a powerful force. nature valley

>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.

>> jimmy: i want to thank steve harvey, bill skarsgard, apologies to matt damon. we did run out of time for him. "nightline" is next. but first, here with the song "all on my mind," anderson east! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ she could wear a nightgown to a wedding a t-shirt to bed short skirts in the ♪ ♪ autumn times with some daisies wrapped 'round her head and you could find my ♪ ♪ woman dancing' in bare feet on a couch in a ballroom dress and i love how my baby ♪ ♪ looks at me with her arms draped round my neck i said oh honey just ♪ ♪ like that i give you my lovin' and you give it right back

i said oh honey just ♪ ♪ like this hanging on white knuckle grip but it's all on my mind ♪ ♪ feel something when i kiss you good night but it's all on my mind ♪ ♪ feel something when i open my eyes but it's all on my mind feel that i could be ♪ ♪ your sweetest compromise but it's all on my mind it's all on my mind and i could wear ♪ ♪ wingtips to a wedding 501's bed a full suit to the party and we'll dance till ♪ ♪ no ones left and i kiss my baby with the sweetness that only she could ♪ ♪ bring and i love how my baby touches me as we play out lovers ♪ ♪ games

i said oh honey just like that i give you my lovin' and you give it right back ♪ ♪ i said oh honey just like this hanging on white knuckle grip ♪ ♪ but it's all on my mind feel something when i kiss you goodnight ♪ ♪ but it's all on my mind feel something when i open my eyes but it's all on my mind ♪ ♪ feel that i could be your sweetest compromise but it's all on my mind it's all on my mind oh ♪ ♪ me and my baby are the bass and the beat

lo-fi rhythm the sweat and the heat ♪ ♪ come on now lover won't you follow my lead and we'll move on into the night ♪ ♪ but it's all on my mind feel something when i kiss you goodnight ♪ ♪ but it's all on my mind feel something when i open my eyes but it's all on my mind ♪ ♪ feel that i could be your sweetest compromise but it's all on my mind it's all on my mind ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

this is "nightline." >> tonight, the cold medicine defense? a seemingly happy newlywed couple now at the center of a shocking murder. a once aspiring pastor calling 911 -- >> i have blood all over me and there's a bloody knife on the bed. and i think i did it. >> but he claims he doesn't remember anything. pointing to an overdose of cold medicine. >> listen, this ain't the cold and flu season. >> could the drug get him off the hook? plus whatever it takes. a family rescued from their flooded home in houston returning with our michael strahan to see what is left. now after the storm still waiting for fema assistance, how their struggles are just beginning. >> we're going to get through this. whatever it