>> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- charles barkley, chloe bennet and music from monica, now get ready, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] on this beautiful night of love and romance. can you feel the sexual tension in the air, guillermo? >> guillermo: yes, jimmy. of course. >> jimmy: if you're home watching our show on tv right now i'm going to guess your

valentine's day wasn't the sex romp you imagined it might be. [ laughter ] or maybe the romp is about to begin. i don't know. is it about to begin? [ laughter ] go ahead, don't mind me. just relax. pretend i'm not here. that's right. cleto, maybe a little saxophone for the lovebirds. ♪ oh, yeah. that's good. that's very good. you're doing -- >> guillermo: yeah, that's so good. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you ruined it. you ruined the moment. go back to your spot, that's not -- valentine's day is a weird holiday. i'm convinced it does more harm than good. it used to be if you're a woman you get flowers at work and the whole office resents you. now we have instagram, the whole world resents you. if your dinner reservation is before 6:00 or after 9:00, they did not. not only is valentine's time for

romance, it's also a great time to steal teddy bears. this happened on friday in phoenix. you see a couple of teenagers decided to jump out of their car and snatch two oversized bears. and you might be surprised to hear they didn't plan this one out very well. it was not an "ocean's 11" type caper. first they had trouble getting the bears from the truck, and then they got a visit from a giant man who came to retrieve the bears. look at this guy. here's the thing. there are always three bears. and when papa bear showed up, well, wisely these guys decided to surrender the merchandise. [ laughter ] and off they went. i love the fact they were willing to steal the bears, not run a red light. [ laughter ] and of course no valentine's day no religious holiday would be complete without word from the ancient one, the host of the "700 club," mr. pat robertson.

who actually knew saint valentine. they went to camp together when they were kids. [ laughter ] he may be old but he taught me something about what women of today really want this year. >> you know what the latest thing is today? it's not flowers. it's not candy. you know what the hottest new gift is? >> on valentine's day it's not flowers or candy? i can't imagine. >> chicken wings. >> no. >> barbecued chicken wings. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: no. no, it's not. is it possible he's confusing valentine's day with the super bowl? because that doesn't sound right. [ laughter ] from the white house this afternoon our president, donald jennifer trump -- [ laughter ] -- delivered a very special valentine's day message to america. >> i'm opposed to domestic violence and everybody here knows that. i am totally opposed to domestic violence of any kind. everyone knows that.

and it almost wouldn't even have to be said. so now you hear it. but you all know it. thank you all very much. i appreciate it. >> jimmy: it almost would not have to be said. but for some reason it does have to be said. it has been another banner week for team trump. but they're not letting it get them down. last night the white house released a -- i don't know if you saw this, a new line of valentine's day cards which were a big hit. so today they released even more. these are cards from all your favorite members of the trump administration, starting of course with the president himself who says "spank me with a forbes magazine." [ laughter ] he loves that, allegedly. [ applause ] vice president pence is in the mood too. his card is happy mother's day. [ laughter ] attorney general jeff sessions says -- "i'm d.t. elf." [ laughter ] dr. ben carson, "will you sleep with me?" white house press secretary sarah huckabee sanders has a card. she says "i like my orgasms like

i like my news. fake." [ cheers and applause ] he special counsel robert mueller even pitched in. he's got a fun way about him. happy valentine's day. i regret to inform you you're under federal investigation. [ laughter ] president of russia vladimir putin pitched in. he asks, who's your vladdy? [ laughter ] and last but certainly not least senate majority leader mitch mcconnell, girl is your body a pre-existing condition? because i don't want it to be covered. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] you can download those. whitehouse dot love orring? . meanwhile, white house chief of staff john kelly might be out of a job soon. president trump is all rightedly 12k50iding whether to replace him for the way he mishandled allegations of spousal abuse against former staff secretary rob porter. sarah huckabee sanders told reporters the president has confidence in his chief staff, which means he's definitely fired. i feel like trump likes firing people once a week so he can have cake at the good-bye

parties. who would even want this job? chief of staff. you're basically the person who tells trump not to do the thing he's going to do anyway. john kelly, by the way, is the guy that had to fire omarosa back in december. and finally we know why. she was reported to have been abusing the white house car service. for real. they say she used the car service to take her to and from work, which is against the rules. the one rule the white house takes seriously is about don't abuse the car service. [ laughter ] wives you can abuse, no problem. car service -- that's where we drawn the line. [ cheers and applause ] this is the multiple choice portion of our show. i'm going to show you a photo of a woman you're going to guess who the woman is. all right? here's the photo. and yes, the dress she's wearing is covered in little pictures of the dog she's holding. is this woman -- a, lady westminster, owner of the westminster dog show? b, mike pence's first wife,

harriett beecher pence. c, florence purina, heiress to the dog food fortune. or g, georgette mossbacker, donald trump's newly appointed ambassador to poland? and the ambassador is -- that's right. georgette mossbacker. she is a 71-year-old socialite and our new ambassador to poland. [ applause ] put that photo back up there. that's right. this is ambassador. as global tensions bring us ever closer to conflict with russia know that this woman is standing by at the border to come to our diplomatic defense. [ laughter ] you know how president trump wants to have this big military parade? well, as predicted, it's not going to be cheap. according to trump's budget director mick mulvaney, the parade would cost between $10 million and $30 million. but don't worry, i'm sure mexico will pay for it. they're very generous. director mulvany did point out that a one-hour parade would cost less than a five-hour parade, so maybe it should be a one-hour parade, which makes

sense. but you know what would cost even less? a no-hour parade. [ cheers and applause ] the $30 million you could pay off like 200 different porn stars for that kind of money. have you heard the latest on stormy daniels? this might be the best of all of them. this might be lie number one. president trump's lawyer michael cohen finally admitted, he told "the new york times" he paid adult film star stormy daniels $130,000 but out of his own pocket. it had nothing to do with trump. he was not reimbursed by the president or the trump campaign. he says he made a private transaction and would not comment on whose privates were transacted on. [ laughter ] this story is so unbelievable. the part about trump not paying him back is believable. that i believe. but what kind of an idiot would believe his lawyer decided to pay a porn star more than $100,000 for no reason? they didn't have sex? he just decided to give her money? i mean, if it wasn't for this ad he runs on local tv, this wouldn't make any sense at all.

>> have you never had sex with a porn star? then you need a lawyer to give that porn star large amounts of cash. not your own cash. his own cash. call the law firm of michael cohen & associates. michael cohen is the leader in giving porn stars money for no reason at all. >> michael cohen gave me $225,000. and i don't even know why. >> you pay nothing. michael cohen pays everything. the law firm of michael cohen & associates. world's dumbest slash most generous lawyers. call that 1-800-dum-ass-4. >> jimmy: because trump's lawyer admits paid stormy daniels she might not be bound by her non-disclosure agreement in the first place. her manager said everything's off now and stormy's going to tell her story.

hopefully to me. this has to be handled sensitively. [ cheers and applause ] i feel like i'm nothing if not that. if you're a dog lover you may be interested to know which animal won top honors at the westminster kennel club dog show this year. >> best in show at the 142 nds annual westminster kennel club will be the bichon frise. >> jimmy: i was hoping it would be that one. i think it's nice they let a stuffed animal win for a change. [ laughter ] flynn was the underdog at the event. it's refreshing when the underdog is actually a dog. a bichon frise hasn't won best in show in more than 15 years. flynn really wanted this. for those of you who are unfamiliar, the bichon frise is a breed that's typically owned by wealthy people. they have fluffy white hair, tiny charcoal eyes and they're known for their total obedience. in fact, this is the most famous bichon frise. his name is mike. [ laughter ]

and he's a very good boy. he really is. congratulations to flynn. in human athletic pursuits the winter olympic games are under way in pyeongchang, south korea. germany leads all other nations with 12 medals, seven gold. the u.s. team has four gold medals. all for snowboarding. good thing somebody ined snowboarding or we'd be screwed. the olympics i'm sure you know if you're watching us are not broadcast by this network. they're on nbc. which means we are not allowed to show you footage from the games. what we can do and have done this week is take clips from youtube and pretend they're from the olympics. i think they're even better than the expensive olympics. with that let me present highlights from night 3 of the winter you-lympics. >> next up on the course is finland's marcus torvills. a bit shaky out of the gate. using those quick steps to build speed. and the bailout. perfection! look at his form. great landing.

had he hit that mailbox it would have been a two-point deduction. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, the pageantry. is really what i appreciate. all right. we have a great show for you tonight. we have music from monica. chloe bennet is here and we're right back with charles barkley. [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: abc's "jimmy kimmel live," brought to you by t-mobile. join the un-carrier right now, and get four unlimited lines for only thirty-five bucks each. woah. plus, netflix for the whole family. on us. prrrrrrr... so, they get their shows... let's go, girl! you're gonna love this bit! and you get yours. watch however you want. on your phone, tablet, or tv. for a limited time, get 4 lines for just thirty-five bucks per line, with no extra charges. it's showtime! all on america's best unlimited network, t-mobile. and we're gonna get the phone- his phone,ry sorry.

uh out of you... the important thing is that we're going to make you better. (voice-activated double-tone) okay. here's how to make butter. pour two thirds a cup of cold heavy cream into a one cup canning... snickers® satisifes. ♪ this puppy had nothing on the new glad forceflex plus advanced protection kitchen bag. it's glad's strongest, toughest, most leak resistant bag. be happy, it's glad. 60% of women are wearing the wrong size pad and can experience leaks discover always my fit. find the number that's right for your flow and panty size on the top of any always pack. the better the fit, the better it protects. always. we the people...

are defined by the things we share. and the ones we love. who never stop wondering what we'll do or where we'll go next. we the people who are better together than we are alone... are unstoppable. welcome to the entirely new expedition. ♪ chili's has 10 lunches for just $7 ♪ ♪ when was the last time you had a great lunch? ♪ ♪ just $7 for 10 awesome lunches ♪ ♪ 'cause lunch is back, baby it's chili's for lunch ♪ ♪ chili's is back, baby, back, baby, back ♪ mmm-hmm! ♪ or take chili's lunch to go ♪ ♪ baby, go, baby, go finishing up your taxes, huh? yeah. you should have an expert review your return before it's filed. can i do that? uh. hmm, don't touch the screen. boop. h&r block tax pro review. have a tax pro check your return, and file it for you. h&r block. this is google home max. it's a speaker that's smart.

it'll tune to your room and fill it with music. so if you want to feel all the layers of that acoustic version you love... (song by sylvan esso) ...or if you just want to bump the bass. hey google, play that song that's like... you might not ever come down... (song by anderson paak) use it with spotify or youtube music. and then ask it - hey google, turn it all the way up. introducing google home max. part of the google home family. there's more adventure,where you can get... more thrills, more magic, and more happy. and now you can stay steps away from the save up to 25% on select rooms at a disneyland resort hotel. so now's the time to get more happy!

[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi and welcome back to the show, tonight from marvel's "agents of shield" chloe bennet is with us. and later monica will be on the mercedes-benz stage. her new project is called "drop the beat."

she's giving fans the chance to submit original songs for her next album. in other words you do all the work. [ laughter ] and then monica will sing the songs, i guess. it's brilliant is what it is. tomorrow natalie portman and nba all-star kyrie irving will be here and super bowl mvp nick foles will be here tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] let me tell you something there's no woman or man i'd rather spend valentine's day or any day for that matter with than our first guest. he might be the funniest guy on television. his show is called "inside the nba." and you can see him all week as nba all-star, the game and the weekend comes to l.a. sunday night on tnt. please welcome hall of famer charles barkley. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ how are you doing? >> i'm good, man. >> jimmy: happy valentine's day. >> thank you. i'm glad to be back.

>> jimmy: i'm glad you are here. >> you broke my spirits today, though. i do no social media because i think people who do that are losers. and i had to go upstairs and read the mean tweets. >> jimmy: well, you have to. did that hurt you? were you surprised by how vicious they were? >> they were kind of funny. >> jimmy: oh, they were funny. >> i can laugh at myself. but it always amazes me how people can be so mean-spirited behind a keyboard. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> because i always say this. there's only two type of people who do that. some loser who is at work who should be working, and he's worried about me. or some loser sitting in his mother's garage or basement worrying about me. >> jimmy: i would imagine that very few people when they see you in person have anything negative to say. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> clearly you've never played in philadelphia before. >> jimmy: i have not. >> shout out to my eagles. nick foles. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: nick's going to be here tomorrow. did you bet on that game? >> i did. i had a great day. >> jimmy: you did.

how much -- give me a range. do you bet like enough to buy a condo or like what we talking about here? >> in what city or state? [ applause ] >> jimmy: okay, i unnd. >> in alabama it would have bought a big condo. [ laughter ] in l.a. a small guest house. >> jimmy: i got you. but you did win. >> i did win. >> jimmy: is it true what they say about the fans in philadelphia? are they the loudest and the angriest and the most passionate fans of all in the united states? >> yes. you know what? they're great tans. but when you're losing there it's not a lot of fun. you know what's interesting, i went up for the nfc championship game, and i stayed at a hotel downtown so i could be close to the stadium. it was full of vikings fans. so they pulled me aside, said charles, if things are going good for the game, how do you think we should act? i said hey, don't make a sound.

i said those people, they're going to be loaded, they're going to go crazy. they came back to the hotel after the game, and they said pan, you were right. they were throwing stuff at us. and i said, and y'all lost 38-7. can you imagine what they would have been throwing at you if y'all had won? it was crazy. they were throwing things at them. but they're great fans. and the eagles are the number one attraction in philadelphia. >> jimmy: are they? not the liberty bell? not rocky's steps? not -- >> you know, i'm not a big tourist. >> jimmy: cheese steaks. >> i'm telling you, as far as sports teams, when the sixers have done well, they won a championship, the phillies won a championship, the flyers are terrific. but it's a philadelphia eagle town. >> jimmy: it's interesting >> by far. >> jimmy: it's interesting, certain towns, certain teams. like the lakers are -- the dodgers are big but the lakers are the biggest here. is it true you almost played for the lakers? you were almost -- >> yes. i actually got traded to the lakers.

so i get a call from my agent one morning, he says i think we got a deal, you're going to the lakers, so me and two of my boys, this is about 11:30 during the day. >> jimmy: what year is this? >> somewhere in the mid '80s. >> jimmy: okay. so you're in philly. >> i want to say ninety -- late '80s. i was so excited. so me and my boy went out to celebrate, started getting drunk in the middle of the day. i was so excited. my agent called me back three hours later and said the sixers pulled out of the deal. and we've got a game that night. [ laughter ] i don't remember anything about that game. [ laughter ] first of all, i was so pissed, but i was so drunk too. [ laughter ] i have no idea what happened that game. >> jimmy: you don't know your stats? >> i do not even remember the game actually. i can remember a lot of games i played. that day, we were so excited i was getting out of philadelphia.

and i was blasted. we were doing shots and everything. >> jimmy: was that the only time you played while intoxicated? >> no. [ cheers and applause ] hold up, let me rephrase that. >> jimmy: okay, yeah, how do you rephrase no? [ laughter ] >> that was only time i played intoxicated. >> jimmy: i see. >> i have played hung over before. >> jimmy: you played hung over. >> not the same. >> jimmy: they're not the same. >> that was the only time i played -- i drank before a game. >> jimmy: do you think that goes on less nowadays? are the players more straight? or are they just all smoking pot now? >> you know, jimmy, i don't understand the fascination with pot. >> jimmy: you're not a pot smoker. >> i smoked pot five times in my life at the most and all it made me want to do is eat potato

chips. i've got friends who love, it i'll admit that. it didn't take me no place. it didn't make me feel a type of way. i just wanted a potato chip. that's it. >> jimmy: good for the people at lay's. >> yeah. like i say i don't judge other people. but i don't understand the fascination with pot. >> jimmy: is it true you're friends with kenny rogers? >> yeah. the gambler. when i got my last game in philly when they traded me he was my entertainment. i love kenny rogers. >> jimmy: you brought him to play specifically for you? >> he had to play the special song "through the years". >> jimmy: that's the perfect song. >> i love kenny. he had a house in georgia where we played basketball. he had this all-star competition. he'd have four basketball players, four golfers, four tennis players, and four actors. >> jimmy: wow. >> and we played tennis, basketball, golf, and for the

actors part we went fishing. i actually won. >> jimmy: you won the fishing competition? >> no, i won the entire competition. my team was called the jcpenney classic. >> jimmy: who else was on your team? >> bruce boxliner. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> mark calcavecchia. and roscoe tanner. >> jimmy: the tennis player. that's fantastic. >> we kicked their ass, jimmy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: when was the last time you played basketball? >> i think the day i retired. >> jimmy: that was it? >> that was it. >> jimmy: did you love the game? >> i loved the game. i owe basketball a great deal. i'm not the most educated person in the world. i went to college for three years, and i'm still a freshman. [ laughter ] but basketball has given me everything in my life. >> jimmy: isn't that interesting, though, that you would stop and never play it again, really never pick up a ball again? >> you retire because your body can't take that abuse anymore. i've got two new hips now. >> jimmy: congrats. >> you see i've lost a lot of

weight since last time -- >> jimmy: you do look good. you do. [ applause ] >> i'm down about 50 pounds. i've got about 25 more to go. >> jimmy: nice. >> i might come back. >> jimmy: you think you could beat any of the current players in the league? >> no. they're all good players. i mean, some of them are not really good but -- no, i can't beat any of the guys. >> jimmy: you mentioned you are still a freshman at auburn. but that did not stop them from erecting a statue in your honor. >> that was very nice of them. >> jimmy: in fact, i think we have a photograph of that. [ applause ] look at that. >> that's very nice. >> jimmy: there you are. did you have input into what you wanted it to look like? >> i told them i wanted the statue skinny. i'll be 55 next week jimmy. >> jimmy: happy birthday. [ cheers and applause ] >> i figure like this. most of the people my age are not going to remember that i was fat. and the kids who are will now don't even remember i played

there. >> right. >> i love my college. auburn university. very nice of them. >> jimmy: to have a statue anywhere is a pretty great thing. >> it's really cool. they didn't have to do that. >> jimmy: we're going to take a break. charles barkley is here. he has much to say. nba all-star weekend on tnt. we'll be right back with more. don't we need that cable box to watch tv? nope. don't we need to run? nope. it just explodes in a high pitched 'yeahhh.' yeahhh! try directv now for $10 a month for 3 months. no satellite needed. it's toototally... too orange in a good way! don't settle. shop ebay for the look you want

from all the best brands. ♪ ebay. i try to take care of my teeth, but there's acid in what i eat and drink everyday that can do damage over a lifetime. so my dentist told me to go-pro with crest pro-health. crest pro-health protects against acids in everyday food and drinks better than regular toothpaste. that's how you nail a checkup. crest.

it's just my eczema again,t. but it's fine. yeah, it's fine. you ok? eczema. it's fine. hey! hi! aren't you hot? eczema again?

it's fine. i saw something the other day. eczema exposed. your eczema could be something called atopic dermatitis, which can be caused by inflammation under your skin. maybe you should ask your doctor? go to eczemaexposed.com to learn more.

hello. i'm charles barkley. here are a few of my nicknames. the bread truck. the love boat. food world. the crisco kid. and my second favorite, the wide loaf from leeds. ton of fun. goodtime blimp. but my favorite is the round mound of rebound. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's a young charles barkley. were you the first guy to have like ten different nicknames? >> oh, yeah. >> jimmy: afterwards, a lot of people have done that. >> my college, they were trying to drum up support -- first of all, let me give them a shout

out. they're 10th ranked in the country right now. very proud of my team. but auburn's a football school and we weren't getting a publicity and we came up with this and it worked out great. of >> jimmy: is that right? you did it specifically for publicity? >> yes. >> jimmy: who came up with the nicknames? >> honestly i don't know. >> jimmy: who came up with round mound of rebound? which perhaps is the greatest nickname in the history of sport? [ applause ] >> i have no idea. first of all, that brings back some good memories. crisco kid. oh, my gosh. the love boat. >> jimmy: a lot of those nicknames would be completely unacceptable -- >> i've been called the round mound or sir charles for 40 years but that brings back some great memories. >> jimmy: i would think so. when you were drafted out of college and drafted to philadelphia you didn't want to play for the sixers. >> i did not. the sixers told me who my agent whose a crook i don't want to mention him, he said at that time we had a hard salary cap. so the sixers brought me in a

month before the draft. i played about 300 pounds in college. so i went to visit the sixers and i was 292. and the owner says listen, i'm worried about your weight, i don't know if you can ever play in the nba. it was a month before the draft. i want you to get down to 285. so i went to texas for the summer and trained. i actually got down to about 281, 82. and then my agent said you know, if you sign with the sixers you can only get a one-year deal for $75,000. i said i didn't leave college for $75,000. >> jimmy: right. >> so we went on a three-day eating binge. >> jimmy: who was this going on it with you? >> no, just me and my agent. he went to denny and is had pancakes every morning. went to like a fast food lunch, had -- my favorite meal at that time was two fish large fries. i did wash it down with a diet coke. went to a steakhouse every night for three days. part of the caveat was the

sickers said we want you to stop in philly the day before the draft. so i went from 282 to 307 in three days. [ laughter ] and i thought -- so i go in there, and the sixers owners, he gd-ed me, called me mf, every name in the book. when & when i got out, my agent was high five. whoo. the sixers are not going to draft me. and then the guy said with the fifth pick in the draft the philadelphia 76ers select charles barkley. i thought oh, lord. [ laughter ] i thought they were not going to draft me. but i'm glad they did. >> jimmy: is the story about you ordering a pizza during the game when you're at auburn true? >> no. >> jimmy: that's not true. >> no. but what happened was the -- [ laughter ] no. but when i played on the road in the s.e.c. all of the other fans always sent me a pizza down to the bench. you know, i had to have a sense of humor. but yeah. when we played in every other

s.e.c. team they sent pizza down to the bench. >> jimmy: and would you eat the pizza? >> no. i don't eat during the game. i'm watching my figure. [ laughter ] you know, i tell people i don't take it that serious. >> jimmy: obviously not. >> we play basketball. we're not like a teacher, fireman, doctor, policeman or someone in the service. i get so mad at these jocks today who take themselves so seriously. like dude, you play a sport, shut the hell up and enjoy life. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: dot players -- you've been in the all-star game many times. do the players like it? is it a fun thing for them to be in the all-star game? >> it's fun for their family and friends. >> jimmy: not for them? >> no. >> jimmy: why not? >> you have a lot of stuff to do, jimmy. you have a press conference all day friday, basically. then you have a practice. then you have a bunch of sponsor deals you have to go to. it's great for your family and friends. but the game itself, when you finally get to that sunday, you're relieved ha it's over. >> jimmy: i see. and do guys play hard during these games?

>> i did not play hard. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you did not. you were the mvp once. >> i was the mvp once. because like my obligation is to my team. i just came to celebrate the league. to break a sweat. but i'm not going to go out there and try to kill myself in an exhibition. that's just stupid. >> jimmy: do you see guys that do that, that really play hard? >> there's always a couple of idiots in the game. [ laughter ] we used to get together -- because i played on the east and the west. we'd like get together and look around who's going to be the idiot trying to get mvp? >> jimmy: who was the idiot? >> i can't tell you that, jimmy. >> jimmy: we could probably figure it out. >> but there's always a couple guys trying to play like it's game 7. i'm like dude, it's an exhibition, calm down. they're diving for balls. aren't you worried about your legs and everything? but there's always a couple idiots trying get mvp. those guys are dangerous. >> jimmy: i would think so. i look forward to seeing you guys talk about this over the weekend. the show is great. i've got to till something, i'll give you the best compliment any

show can get. my wife could not care less about basketball or sports and yet she will sit down and watch your show with me because she thinks it's funny. >> we fry to make it fun. ernie, kenny, shaq. we have a great supporting cast. like i just said a few minutes ago, we're talking about basketball. we're not saving the world. >> jimmy: it's a great show. you guys are doing a great job. charles barkley. "inside the nba" we'll be right back with khloe bennet. this is where she lives. together with her best friend, [bark] jekyl. this is sumiko on her birthday. she turned 83. but, she feels much younger. this is sumiko and her baby brother in their dumpling shop. ♪ this is how she stays in shape. ♪ this is what she does on tuesdays. this is what she does on thursdays.

and this is what she does on saturdays. ♪ her dj name is sumirok. ♪ and these are her fans. there's a deeper story behind every picture. question your lens. ♪ and made it liberating. question your lens. we took safe, and made it daring. we took intelligent, and made it utterly irresistible. we took the most advanced e-class ever, and made the most exciting e-class ever. the 2018 e-class coupe and sedan. lease the e300 sedan for $569 a month at your local mercedes-benz dealer. mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. ...but speakers i wiare all about sound.r... ♪

don't settle. shop ebay for speakers you really want from all the best brands. ebay. discover card. i justis this for real?match, yep. we match all the cash back new cardmembers earn at the end of their first year, automatically. whoo! i got my money! hard to contain yourself, isn't it? uh huh! let it go! whoo! get a dollar-for-dollar match at the end of your first year. only from discover.

today, right now, you have more power at your fingertips than entire generations that came before you. but it's not really about what technology can do, it's about what you can do with it. we are living in the future we always dreamed of. we have mixed reality that changes how we see the world, and ai empowering us

to change the world we see. so what will you do with it? atneed different food. that's why we're always adding new brands like rachel ray nutrish! so our wide assortment including science diet blue buffalo and pro plan just got even bigger! why shop anywhere else? petsmart - for the love of pets.

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

bundle and save big, but now it's time to find my dream abode. -right away, i could tell his priorities were a little unorthodox. -keep going. stop. a little bit down. stop. back up again. is this adequate sunlight for a komodo dragon? -yeah. -sure, i want that discount on car insurance

just for owning a home, but i'm not compromising. -you're taking a shower? -water pressure's crucial, scott! it's like they say -- location, location, koi pond. -they don't say that. it's like they say -- location, location, koi pond. i've had three people trooh, lucky penny.. anyway, sometimes i wish i were human. woahhhh. i'm human! do you want to eat me? would you like to eat me? nobody wants to eat me... everyone has a thing. that binge watch over the weekend thing.

more checking in.. or checking out things. no no no no no no no. that triple-double thing. doing it yourself or tagging a friend thing. more revolutions in the making thing. that play like a girl thing. that four-legged friends thing. at&t gives you more for your thing. more entertainment, internet, and unlimited plans. more for your thing. yeah, that's our thing. i've always wanted to share a special moment with my mom. i think surprising her with a night ski trip would just be the biggest gift i could give her. let's make that happen. she's gonna be so excited. ♪ take me where i want to be. ♪ ♪ let me dream, oh, let me dream... ♪

thisat red lobsterest. with exciting new dishes like dueling lobster tails and lobster truffle mac & cheese. classics like lobster lover's dream are here too. so enjoy these 10 lobsterlicious dishes while you can because lobsterfest won't last. this is google home mini. it's got the google assistant in it, so it's super helpful. watch this: hey google, good morning. google voice: good morning, claire. it's 52 degrees with a chance of rain, so you might want an umbrella. oh, that's thoughtful. it'll also read you the news, look up traffic, and tell you: google voice: your first meeting is at 9:00 a.m. and you know how sometimes you're in bed and you can't get out of it until you hear that one song that: google voice: okay, playing your "get out of bed" playlist. (song from "the lion king") yeah, it can do that too. it's google home mini, and the rest of the google home family. ( ♪ ) of being there for my son's winning shot.

that was it for me. that's why i'm quitting with nicorette. only nicorette mini has a patented fast dissolving formula. it starts to relieve sudden cravings fast. every great why needs a great how.

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hi there. still to come, music from monica. our next guest had nothing to do for valentine's day so we invited her here quite frankly because we felt sorry for her. she plays a destroyer of worlds, specifically this world, on marvel's "agents of shield" which returns to abc with original episodes on march 2nd. please welcome chloe bennet. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> yeah. >> jimmy: hi. how are you doing? >> i am so good. >> jimmy: did charles barkley order those? >> yeah, yeah, i just brought it out. no, you invited me on valentine's day as you just said so i couldn't come empty-handed.

and i know you love food as much as i do, so i got you a little valentine. >> jimmy: we each got our own pizza? >> well, no. you'll see when you open it up. you guys. >> jimmy: oh, wow. [ cheers and applause ] which one of us should i eat? wow. wow, that's -- >> i didn't want to make things awkward, you and guillermo were saying so obviously. >> jimmy: oh, guillermo's got one. >> wow, thank you! [ applause ] >> jimmy: all right. >> happy valentine's day. >> jimmy: thank you very much. whose face should i eat, mine or yours? >> mine. valentine's day. >> jimmy: i'll eat your face and you eat mine. >> i wouldn't eat that. i think it's glued on. happy valentine's day to you. >> thank you. >> jimmy: how's everything going in your life? >> it's great. >> jimmy: it is? >> yeah. i have a date tonight. >> jimmy: who's your date tonight? >> it's a human. it's a human person. [ laughter ] yeah, he's a human. >> jimmy: who is this human? >> it's a human person.

i'm not great at dating. i think -- here's the thing. i think i'm great at dating. i don't think other people think i'm great at dating. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you mean the guys you're dating? >> yeah. which is an important factor of dating. >> jimmy: let's talk through it. what is it that you do that's turning people away? >> there's a few things. i just really get bored. a big thing i always do on dates is when you're eating, you get the food and when the food comes you like -- without fail every time i put food in my teeth on purpose and sit there on the date and you can judge anything you need to know about a person by how they react to [ bleep ] in your teeth. >> jimmy: really? >> yes. straight up. >> jimmy: sow want to see if he's got a -- >> judge of character. sense of humor. >> jimmy: interesting. >> most people don't say anything. >> jimmy: what's the best way to react? >> the person i dated the longest put something in his teeth and we just went on with the date with stuff in our

teeth. >> jimmy: and nobody mentioned it at all. >> no one mentioned it. >> jimmy: that's like out of a romantic comedy that would make you vomit. >> yeah. it's great. i'm glad brussels sprouts are trendy now because they're super easy to get -- because it's a skill to be able to put it in your teeth without making it look like you did. >> jimmy: what if you were out on a date with a gentleman and and he were to produce some dental floss? would that be a positive or a negative? >> there's like -- there's aggressive reachers who are like you have something in your -- and they go for your mouth. >> jimmy: that's no good? >> i don't mind it to be honest. [ laughter ] i don't know what that says about me. >> jimmy: what's the worst thing you can do? >> not say anything. >> jimmy: what if you were to drink, have a glass of water and shoot out of the front space, shoot water out into -- >> that's something i would do. like we would trade. >> jimmy: okay all right. this is good for me to know. i think you've taken some action that i believe is going to really help turn your dating life around. you made a very important announcement on instagram.

you're playing the saxophone again. >> yes. >> jimmy: now i did not know you play the saxophone in the first place. >> i do. >> jimmy: so this is an again. when did you play the saxophone? >> i played in middle school for like seven years and then one day i'm like i need to play again. it's my calling. i'm not as good as i remembered. do you play? >> jimmy: i play the clarinet. >> you do? >> jimmy: yes. i play the clarinet. [ cheers and applause ] they have always have that standing by. i don't know who that is. that's not me. >> that's a nice ring. >> jimmy: why was i wearing a ring? i don't know what that was. [ laughter ] >> it's beautiful. >> jimmy: i was engaged to my clarinet. yeah. >> i feel like the clarinet is like diet saxophone, it's the light version of a saxophone. >> jimmy: it's the version of the saxophone that results in

you never losing your virginity is what it is. [ laughter ] it's the celibate version of the saxophone. >> it looks good. you wore that really well. >> jimmy: what band were you in? marching band? >> i was in jazz band and then intermediate band. yes. oh, yeah. is there a saxophone player? did i insult -- >> jimmy: cleto was the star of our jazz band. in fact, that's really what attracted us to each other. >> that's beautiful. we didn't have actual shows though. we ended up playing like at macy's -- >> jimmy: well, that's a show. >> awkwardly. in the like bra section. with our jazz band. >> jimmy: were you good at it? >> i couldn't -- i can't read music. so i'd just do it by ear. >> jimmy: you'd learn the parts by ear -- >> i pretended to read music. >> jimmy: that indicates laziness. >> i probably could if i tried. yeah. >> jimmy: you're on "agents of shield". >> i am. >> jimmy: this season you're in space. >> we are. >> jimmy: you're fighting the cree, which i know because i played clarinet in junior high

school. [ laughter ] what is going on on the show this season? >> we're shooting our hundredth episode. we've done 100 hours -- >> jimmy: wow. that's a lot of them. >> i know. i started the show when i was 20. i'm 26 now. and it's kind of -- >> jimmy: the show is stealing the best years of your life. >> all of my years are gone. that's why i can't date. i'm not good at anything. >> jimmy: who are you going out with tonight? come on. >> no one. it's a secret. >> jimmy: oh, it's a secret. all right. >> if it doesn't go well -- >> jimmy: guillermo, follow her home. >> guillermo: i will. i will follow you. >> jimmy: it's great to have you here. "marvel's agents of shield" is the show. 100 episodes. original episodes return to abc on march 2nd. chloe bennet, everyone. we'll be right back with monica. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.

♪ strummed guitar you can't experience the canadian rockies through a screen. you have to be here, with us. ♪ upbeat music travel through this natural wonder and get a glimpse of amazing, with a glass of wine in one hand, and a camera in the other, aboard rocky mountaineer. canada's rocky mountains await. call your travel agent or rocky mountaineer for special offers now.

>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: thanks to charles barkley, chloe bennet. apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next.

but first to find out about the drop the beat project go to monica.com. here with the song "angel of mine," monica. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ when i first saw you ♪ i already knew ♪ there was something inside of you ♪ ♪ something i thought that i would never find ♪ ♪ angel of mine ♪ i look at you and you're looking at me ♪ ♪ now i know why they say the best things are free ♪ ♪ gonna love you boy, you are so fine ♪

♪ angel of mine ♪ what you mean to me you may never know ♪ ♪ deep inside i need to show ♪ you came into my life ♪ sent from above ♪ when i lost all hope you showed me love ♪ ♪, you showed me love, i'm checking for you ♪ ♪ boy you're right on time ♪ angel of mine ♪ nothing means more to me than what we share ♪ ♪ no one in this whole world can ever compare ♪ ♪ last night the way you moved is still on my mind ♪ ♪ angel of mine ♪ what you mean to me you'll

never know ♪ ♪ deep inside i need to show ♪ sent from above ♪ when i lost hope you showed me love ♪ ♪ angel of mine ♪ i never knew i could feel each moment ♪ ♪ as if they were new ♪ every breath that i take ♪ the love that we make ♪ i only share it with you ♪ you, you, you

♪ when i first saw you i already knew ♪ ♪ there was something inside of you ♪ ♪ something i thought that i would never find ♪ ♪ angel of mine ♪ you came into my life ♪ sent from above ♪ you showed me love ♪ ♪ angel of mine ♪ how you changed my world you'll never know ♪ ♪ deep inside ♪ looking at you ♪ you're looking at me ♪ now i know why they say the

best things are free ♪ ♪ checking for you boy you're right on time ♪ ♪ angel of mine ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

tonight on "nightline" -- inside the melting arctic circle. where the elusive polar bear is clawing for survival. >> their habitat's gone. the world should be interested in this. >> as their environment disappears beneath their feet, these powerful killers are moving inland toward human kind. >> is that the most frightened you've ever been in your life? >> yes. >> our amy robach on a journey to the edge of the earth. >> there are four polar bears right there swimming in the water. that's incredible. >> with the americans who call it home. >> most people here have firearms, just in case. >> and the scientists racing to save this vulnerable species. this special edition o