>> i'm ama daetz. thanks for joining us. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight -- katie couric. director judd apatow. and music from the decemberists. and now, good news, here's jimmy kimmel. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome. hola. thanks for coming. hello. thank you. hi everyone. hello. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. glad you're here. glad you're in a good mood. today is a special day, it's the first official day of spring, not only the first day of spring

today happens to be the international day of happiness. [ cheers and applause ] that's right. we celebrate this every year for those of you who are too young to remember, happiness is emotion we have. national happiness day is on 3/20 really shouldn't happiness day be 4/20 [ cheers and applause ] come on guys. while today is supposed to be a day of much joy and celebration, we got some very sad news this morning, very sad news as another legendary musician passed away. >> people are remembering internet icon. >> the so called keyboard cat has died. ♪ >> jimmy: well there you go, the last good thing left in the world is gone. [ laughter ] if you don't mind i'd like to say a few words about casey, as i called him. we lost one of the greated today. we lost a cat who dared to defy our expectations of how musical

a pet could be. casey lived each of his nine lives to the fullest and he taught us that anyone can play an instrument as long as someone is sitting under them controlling their arms. in a sense around we randomly banging on key while an unknown giant controls us. i know i am. i call my giant the lord. casey's loss will be felt for many, many years to come. do not shed tears for him as god closes a window on a keyboard cat he opens the door to a dog who flushes the toilet so we say keyboard cat good night sweet prince tonight we spill out a little milk for you. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

♪ [ bleep ] damn cat i got milk all over my feet. [ laughter ] even president trump weighed in on it today. he tweeted ---ed the great keyboard cat died a great kitty i would have loved to grab whatever you think that's -- i'll mop later. president trump met at the white house today with the crown prince of saudi arabia, prince mbs they call him for short. for real. trump prepared for this meeting. his aides say he watched almost all of the movie "aladin". it is important to build a network of country for trump to flee to when the time comes. reporters were there and asked about his newly reelected

counter part vladimir putin who conanother fixed election this week. and guess who called his kgb -ff to congratulate him on that. >> we had a very good call and suspect we'll be meeting in the not too distance future to discuss the arms race, which is getting out of control. but we will never allow anybody to have anything even close to what we have. and also to discuss ukraine and syria and north korea and various other things. so i think probably we'll be seeing president putin in the not too distance future. >> jimmy: oh, good that will be fun. that will be nice. by the way trump congratulated him even though his national security advisor wrote in capital letters do not congrat ou late him. vladimir putin just poisoned two people. trump is calling to say hey, congrats.

meanwhile russia-paloza getting bigger as the president's legal team, according to advisor, trump's lawyers are in crunch time right now. which is funny which is crunch time is also what they call it when an extra crispy bucket of kfc arrives at the the white house [ cheers and applause ] thank you. while the impeachment team is working on that, the extra marital sex team is busy with stormy daniels. >> for the very first time president trump is now admitting that that alias used in the infamous stormy daniels mda was actually from him. this coming on friday night they are now seeking $20 million from daniels for breaking her agreement to be siel entd. you see trump put his name on it. donald j.trump, aka, david dennison. >> that's right the president of

the united states has a fake name he uses specifically for lawsuits with porn stars. [ cheers and applause ] you know how trump lawyers paid her to keep quiet about the a sfar. now he says he paid her out of his own pocket because trump is a good friend and that's what lawyers do. let me tell you some, one of my best friends is a lawyer, we've known each other when we were kids, when he got divorced he lived in my house ten months rent free and asked him top help with my legal issue he helped me and charged me $25,000, okay, that's what lawyers do. [ cheers and applause ] they charge you every 12 minutes. so just to recap michael cohn's recap, the president, his friend did not have a affair with stormy daniels, in fact, they so

didn't have an affair michael cohn paid her $35,000 of his own money to sign a mda now is suing her for breaking that mda who gets the $20 million if he wins. does michael cohn did it, if the answer is yes, she n didn't say anything about cohn if there were damages they were incurred by donald trump wouldn't he be entitled to the $20 million. or would it go to david dennison. if will be great when donald trump sues both michael cohn and david dennison. [ laughter ] meanwhile a former playboy model karen mcdugal claiming she had sex with donald trump in the same golf tournament where he met stormy daniels, what kind of room service do they have at this hotel. karen is suing the company that owns the national inquirier to get out of the agreement to keep

her quiet. they did what is known as a catch and kill. they paid $150,000 for her story and didn't publish it. i don't know what kind of christmas gifts he gives out but this donald trump has a lot of generous friends. i have no friends would pay $150,000 for me. then when you thought there could not possibly be no more shoes or clothes of any kind to trump today we're bombbarded by storied that donald trump jr. had an affair with one of the contestants on celebrity apprenti apprentice. i said please let it not be gary abusy. bu sey. when you look at her the trump men certainly have a type. audrey finished third on celebrity apprentice.

you look back at their chemistry we should have known sparks had begun to fly. >> it's making the mob the object of desire. how many you had in your life. >> wasn't a play on how many people you slept with. >> yes. >> what's your number donald? skbloo. >> jimmy: i haven't seen donald jr. that red faced since falling asleep in indiana daddy's tanning bed. audrey even released a song in 2013 about an affair and the song was titled "djt". ♪ >> you have to and it to audrey o' day she hated him before everyone else did. she was early on that. how is it possible she released

this song "djt" and we're just finding about it. he's the president's son. we need to do better people. everyone needs to pitch in on this, okay. by the way. after whatever relationship she had with don jr. was over you know who audrey started dating, pauley d from jersey shore. guess she likes greasy hair. meanwhile here's what is up with secretary of interr terroterrotr terror i said the dining room chairs need to be replaced. i said why. it's 50 years old. i said okay. we could potentially do that. i asked my wife to help me with that. >> love with all the madness he's drilled by the desk set.

ben carson is one of trump's earri original cabinet. last week he fired his body man, personal assistant and secretary of state rex tillerson who had a two hour meeting with mike pompeo who runs the cia. it you are mike pompeo do you do anything with your new office, do you put up pictures or live out of a bankers box so you can gather your stuff when it's time to go. there's a lot of turnover in the trump administration so as a service to new incoming cabinet members the white house put together a very helpful and informative orientation video. >> welcome to donald trump's cabinet, your job here will last anywhere from three days to 12

weeks, depending on the president's golf score. to optimize your stay keep in mind f, is for fasten, this is going to be a bumpy and very short ride. >> yoour fired. >> i is for insult. the president will insult you based on your appearance and/or demeanor. >> don't worry about it little marco. >> flying ted cruz. >> polka hont as. >> this guy is a liar. >> child molester. >> that just means he's about to let you go. >> you're fired go. >> r is for resume keep your resume up-to-date so you send it out second you're terminated. >> meat loaf you're fired. >> e is for exit, security will escort you out of the nearest exit when. >> you're fired. >> lastly is for d. d is for door. don't let it hit you in the ass on the way out. >> you're fired. you're a quitter. star jones kicked your ass whether you liked it or not.

>> fired, it's what the trump white house is all about. >> i didn't know they had that. we're going to take a break we come back from the break and katie couric takes me for my first colonoscopy. stick around. it will be fun. >> announcer: abc's skimt "jimmy kimmel live" brought to you by -- -- -- -- ♪ . . ♪

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♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: welcome back to our show. tonight on the show music from the decemberists, judd apatow is here and katie couric. as you may know i turn 50 this year. i'll hold for your applause [ cheers and applause ] and for my birthday katie asked if she could accompany me for my first colonoscopy you have to have that when you turn 50.

it seemed to be an unusual request and i know it's something katie is passionate about it and it's important thing to do. with that said we're about to watch a camera go where no camera has ever gone before. >> surprise! hi jimmy. come back here. >> why are you doing this to me? >> because you're 50 now, jimmy. you're a big boy and you need to get a colonoscopy. >> is that what big boys get? >> that's true they do. can i get you a drink? >> yeah sure. >> oh, is that the stuff. >> oh, wait hold on. it looks like water but i'm guessing it isn't. >> and you're going to do two of these. >> oh, my goodness. >> one for you. one for me. >> jimmy: two wriright now? >> no you're going to do one now. >> jimmy: is that mouch wine you

have. >> not really. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh salute. >> cheers. and you don't have to chug it either. >> jimmy: cheers. >> how was it? >> jimmy: vial. so how long does it take to work. oh, wait it's working. see you tomorrow. >> bright and early. >> it's 5:30 time to pick up jimmy. [ horn ]. >> there he is. you you doing. >> jimmy: oh, great. how you doing. >> good morning. >> jimmy: thanks for picking me up. >> well you're going to get this done and feel relieved, you won't have do to it for probably another five to ten years. >> jimmy: oh, all right. it will be like the olympics. >> exactly. ♪

are you ready for this ♪ >> jimmy: i'll put the gown on and we'll do this. >> we'll close this thing. >> jimmy: okay. >> jimmy you ready? >> jimmy: i need help with the -- the back of this thing. am i in the wrong gown. oh, this is embarrassing. >> colon cancer is the second leading cancer killer for men and women combined in this country so that's why it is so important to get screened and jimmy's prete psyched. >> i'm at the timi telling you e real perverts in my life but you take the case katie couric. this is a very unusual sexual thing. >> it's not sexuality. >> jimmy: oh, it's not? what am i doing here? >> hi how are are you. nice to meet you. so we're going to take a careful look in your colon and if we see any poll ups we will remove

them. >> and i can have it. >> i don't know if you want i want it to be like an eye kia bookshelf like what are these screws left over. >> we'll take plenty of pictures. >> why do you think more people aren't getting screened. >> jimmy: because they go up your ass that's why. >> what i will say, for screen and others most people say is that it? you're done. >> they ask for more don't they. >> they love the saidation. it makes it worth it. >> people say it's a lot more fun than being diagnosed with colon recollealon cancer. >> true should put it on a bumper sticker. >> 18 years ago we did this they called it the couric effect and now they're going to call it the

kimmel effect. >> always wanted to be associated with a poll up. would you mind. hope this is okay. just to make sure everything is good. would you mind removing the butter fly on my stomach. >> are you worried about doctor's steadiness what the heck. >> considering i'm four espressos in. >> jimmy: well done. wow. very well done. that was good. i feel comfortable now. yeah. >> his nose didn't light up. >> here's your butterfly. enjoy many have a great time with it. >> here you go jimmy. by the way ladies i put an itunes gift card up there whoever finds it it's yours. go get em tiger. good luck.

>> all done. how was the sleep. >> jimmy: good thank you. well. there you have it.colonoscopied. thank you. drugs worked. thank you very much. h how are ? >> jimmy: i'm not getting all of the channels. the only station is that one. >> everything went really well but we did find few interesting things we wanted to show you. >> we found your keys. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> some soldiers. you've been looking for those haven't you. >> jimmy: where have you been. >> best of all. look. we found your harmonica, jimmy. >> jimmy: i wonder has it been sterilized. thank you very much. that's nice. is that my colon? >> this is you, actually. >> jimmy: look how beautiful and clean it is. >> i know exactly that's what really made the colonoscopy

quite easy to do and one of the most quality indicators of effective colonoscopy that from your end you did a very good job with the bowel prep and found no poll ups at all this is what a healthy colon should look like. see you again in ten years. >> jimmy: thank you guys. thank you katie for invading my colon. very nice of you. how do people sign up to get a colonoscopy, the brown pages? [ laughter ] >> very funny. they talk to their doctor and when they turn 50 or 45 if african-american they need a baseline screening, most insurance plans cover it so you should take advantage of it. >> jimmy: thank you very much. >> good job, jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, katie. tonight on the show we have music from decemberist, judd apatow is here, we're right back with katie couric.

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>> jimmy: hi there, welcome back. tonight on the show a very funny writer and director. his new hbo documentary is called "the zen diaries of garry shandling," judd apatow is here. [ cheers and applause ] then, their album came out

friday. it's called "i'll be your girl." the decemberists from the mercedes-benz outdoor stage. [ cheers and applause ] they are great, you will like them. tomorrow night, charlie day will be here, henry winkler will join us, and we'll have music from sabrina carpenter with jonas blue. s on thursday roseanne barr and john goodman, with music from chloe and halle. please join us for that [ cheers and applause ] there aren't too many journalists i'd allow to be part of my first colonoscopy, it's really just our first guest and jake tapper, but she cared about not just my colon she cares about all of our colons, please welcome a 7-time emmy winner and co-founder of "stand up two cancer," katie couric. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: hello.

why are you looking at me like that? what went on in that room i didn't know about. >> i didn't tell you about some of the things you said to me when you were still out of it. >> jimmy: what did i say. >> you were fine. how great and wonderful is he [ cheers and applause ] that jimmy, that you donated your ass to awareness. thank you so much. >> jimmy: nobody else wanted it. i agree it's a good enough cause. >> wasn't bad right. >> jimmy: i brought it to the salvation army they said we'll pass. not only was it not bad it was fine. only part i didn't like was not eating. >> right you were hungry and the prep probably you've had better nigh nights. >> jimmy: i don't want to get into that. it wasn't that bad. >> and the doctor was so impressed. dr. ha, a very appropriate name for your doctor. >> jimmy: i was like this is this a joke. >> she did a great job.

was so complimentary of your colon. >> jimmy: that's the greatest compliment. >> she said your colon was really shiny and your small intestine was really fluffy. >> jimmy: oh, really. i feel like a marshmallow. >> i never knew that that part of your bowel or colon or whatever looks like a carpetet did you know that. >> jimmy: no i didn't. >> but any ways you're looked good. >> jimmy: now you asked me about this two years ago. >> right. >> jimmy: i was like you're really planning ahead on this. >> and the thing is i asked you and never in a million years believed you would let me take you. >> jimmy: well i feel if i say yes i will do something, by the way if you ask me far enough in advance to do anything i will agree to it. >> and then be like damn why did i say yes. >> jimmy: we want to chop couple fingers off but not until 2025

kb kbra no problem take the pinky and ring finger won't need those. >> i was so happy. >> jimmy: there was a bit you leaned on the horn, i know it was 5:30 in the morning you spent years on the today's show but people were sleeping in the neighborhood. >> i felt bad but your brother told me to do that, i said, hey, if it's for comedy i'm in. >> jimmy: when you televised your colonoscopy it was a very big deal when was that. >> yeah it was really before news people were under going medical tests on themselves on television. >> jimmy: i don't think they're doing that. >> i feel like you are seeing it more since, i feel i broke that barrier. >> jimmy: i see what a barrier it was. >> i did it back in 2000. >> jimmy: you were awake when you did it. >> yeah my husband died of colon

cancer in 1998 he was just 42 and i learned so much about colon cancer prevention and getting screened. you can nip it in the bud, literally. you can remove a pollup then and there. there's a lot of recommended screenings, just have to talk to your doctor about which one you want to do. and i thought it is second leading cancer killer. 50,000 people die every year and don't have to. if if it is caught can be completely cured and prevented on the spot. >> should we wait until 50? >> it is interesting but there's an alarming increase of people under 50 being diagnosed with colon cancer. so talk to your doctor. if you are 45 n 5d african-american you need to get screened and they are seeing it in younger people. if you have stomach issues, if

you have a change in your bowel habits or unexplained weight loss, really talk to your doctor and insist three rule this out. a lot of doctors think you are too young to get colarectal cancer but the fact is it is a possibility sadly. >> jimmy: and most insurance covers it, not that expensive, seemed like a bargain to me. >> you're like i want to go again next week. but 38 million people over the age of 50 have not gotten the recommended screening. from 50 to 54, it's like 51% of people getting screened are not. so by watching you i hope people say it's not that big a deal yoo. >> jimmy: it really wasn't a big deal. i didn't feel anything. when you are not scoping people's colons what are you working on. >> right now we're having tenth anniversary to stand up to

cancer i'm really focused on that. >> jimmy: that's amazing. [ cheers and applause ] >> right now we have 22 dream teams working on different kinds cancers from 144 institutions from around the world. helped contribute to fda approval of five new cancer drugs and raised about $500 million in cancer research. >> jimmy: believable. >> i'm really excited about this tenth anniversary. it was started by nine crazy women. yeah. and we've really accomplished a lot. i'm working a lot with stand up to cancer. and i have a six hour documen documentary >> jimmy: all six hours of my colonoscopy surgery. >> as much as that would be incredibly entertaining but it's not. >> jimmy: i want to the thank you for letting the world know how clean i am on the inside.

have no idea how much it means to me, it really does. >> and i want to say how much it means, by doing this you will actually save some lives. >> jimmy: i knew i was a hero. thank you katie you're the one that really did it. katie couric march is colon cancer awareness month, and katie's new documentary series "america inside out" premieres april 11th on nat geo. we'll be back with judd apatow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ thou hast the patchy beard of a pre-pubescent squire! thy armor was forged by a feeble-fingered peasant woman... your mom! as long as hecklers love to heckle, you can count on geico saving folks money. boring! fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more on car insurance. ♪ is really this good

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love. it's what makes a subaru, a subaru. (avo) get 0% apr financing on all new 2018 subaru forester models. now through april 2nd. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi there. our next guest is a very gifted writer, director and comedian who is either fully or partly responsible for some of the funniest movies and tv shows of the last 15 years. his latest is a monumental and emotional documentary, "the zen diaries of garry shandling" premieres monday and tuesday on hbo. please welcome judd apatow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i want to begin by apologizing that you had to

follow my colon. >> i enjoyed it. you know back stage she said you're next because i just turned 50. >> jimmy: you are next you should have done this already. >> and she, i don't think, will escort me. >> jimmy: i think she will. she told me specifically during the commercial break make judd commit to getting his colon checked with me. >> i was worried like sean handity would come in. >> jimmy: every time put up a photo of you say i'm a healthy you we're about the same age i guess that's all we have in common really. >> yes. >> jimmy: i do want to talk about gary handsomeshandlinggj

was a very good friend of yours. >> this was a photo after the ben stiller show he happened to be in hawaii 1993. >> jimmy: and there's gary wearing 1993 badging trunks. >> yes. >> jimmy: and you worked for gary where did you work with him besides the larry sachnders sho >> first big job i had in showbiz was gary asked me to write the grammys. was amazing. sin at row and dylan and bono. so then one day asked me to direct the gary shandlinggj show. he had a >> we were writing an episode about a psychic and invited the psychic to the show and said based on how we react we'll

write an episode about it. she said you're going to direct soon and three weeks later said you are doing the next one. >> jimmy: wow did you keep in touch with the psychic. >> no but maybe he was sleeping with the psychic. >> jimmy: that could be the next documentary, sleeping with the psychic. so the line is gary's personal notes and diary that's he wrote over the course of his life. they're very, i mean, i don't know a lot of comedians that think this deeply and have these kind of thoughts. this is gary's actual handwriting when you got hold of this did he at any point tell you it would be okay to publish this stuff? >> well he was thinking about putting out a book of his journals and he also started a documentary project he was going to talk about what he had written. it starts in 1977 when he was writing for the harvey coreman show and it goes to the end of his life and a lot of it is

buddhist ideas he's saying to him self about non-attachment, try to be kind to people, but every once in a while would be something funny, out of the blue, one thing, i don't know why i wrote this it's not in an article or anything. he wrote, letter to my 16-year-old self. thing he wanted his 16-year-old to know. acne goes away. it's programs the berhaps the b of growing older many then your hair thins. don't think of that now. i want you to know you're just as god wanted. learn to meditate. stop master baiting. >> were those connect snd. >> i think they're connected. one day you're not going to have to wear glasses, there's a surgery to fix your eyes, i know how bad yours are, the doctor may have to go in through the

back. last one says punch a couple kids at school. i can't recall their name noiw but you know who they are. [ applause ] skbr skbloo skbloo . >> jimmy: when i was a morning radio d jrj in tucson, arizona, gary's mom was there, there's a clip i want to share from the zen diaries of garry shandling. >> my mother, i'm driving her across town and she says who are you dating, i don't tell her anyone who i'm dating, it always results in a fight, my mother's deeply conflicted she wants me to have grandchildren but i don't think she wants me to have them with another women. so. seriously. my mother wants to marry me.

i told my shrink that and he did something i've only seen blackjack dealers do. he looked at me and he went. >> jimmy: he's the best. and the nicest person. >> yeah he really was. >> jimmy: the most supportive person. and you see this throughout this documentary which is a beautiful gift to him you gave him, i think he would love this, do you feel that way? >> i think so. because i thought when he passed away that his life was a lesson and he would be happy if whatever he experienced would lead to others to make them happier in their lives. >> jimmy: sure seems like it. it doesn't feel like a violation, going into his personal, it seems like it was meant to be shared. it really does. >> i hope so. and there's a powerful response. it's about a man trying to evolve and grow and be a more loving person in addition to being a great comedian. >> jimmy: did he ever get upset

with you. i know you were very close. >> what's weird, i never read anyone's journals before, so i'm reading them and it's very intense, just to be in someone's heads is intense, and one day i turned the page and it says list of people who disappointed me this year and i was number three. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: well, i think he's pretty happy with you now. you might be at the top of the list of people who did not disappoint him right now. judd apatow watch "the zen diaries of garry shandling" airs next monday and tuesday at 8pm on hbo. we'll be right back with the decemberists. >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.

>> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: i want to thank katie couric, judd apatow and apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time. this is their album "i'll be your girl." here with the song "severed," the decemberists! [ cheers and applause ] applause ]

♪ ♪ i alight like a whisper i alight with the lights out and it won't take me long just to find you ♪

♪ and it won't take me long just to find you i'm allied to the winter but don't you get clever ♪ ♪ don't you get clever i'm allied to the landslide gonna leave you all severed gonna leave you all severed ♪ ♪ i was born to a jackal i was born in a whiteout gonna smother you all till i choke you ♪ ♪ gonna smother you all till you kick out

i'm allied i'm allied ♪ ♪ to the winter but don't you get clever don't you get clever i'm allied ♪ ♪ i'm allied to the landslide gonna leave you all severed gonna leave you all severed ♪ ♪ ♪ i alone am the answer i alone will make wrongs right

but in order to root out the cancer ♪ ♪ it's got to kept from the sunlight i'm allied i'm allied ♪ ♪ to the winter but don't you get clever don't you get clever i'm allied ♪ ♪ i'm allied to the landslide gonna leave you all severed gonna leave you all severed ♪ scheer scheer [ cheers and applause ]

♪ this is "nightline." >> tonight hunting down a serial bomber of a city on edge. package bombs. a booby trap. suspicions and fear. >> if you have a suspicious box or package continue to call 911. >> a texas fedex shipping center the latest scene of the crime. now a total of six devices linked in the case. how the bomb that didn't go off may be key to tracking the killer. plus fighting for change. >> go, go, go. >> we're in saudi arabia witnessing a women's movement soon to be granted driving privileges. the surprising advances and restrictions of the desert kingdom. but first the "nightline" five. nefi