>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, diane keaton, from cnn, jim acosta, judge james, and music from beach house. and now, take my word for it, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thanks very much. hola, i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you very much and thank you for coming. it's good to have you here. politely interacting. well, you know, last thing i want to do is threaten the good feeling in this room, but i feel like i don't have a choice.

because this country, maybe not even just this country, much of the english-speaking world has been torn in two over the past 48 hours by this. >> laurel. laurel. laurel. laurel. >> jimmy: how many of you heard "laurel"? how many of you heard yanni? forever divided our world. last need i heard it on my phone and i was sure i heard yanni, i listened to it 25 times, i couldn't imagine how anyone could hear laurel. now in the studio, all i hear is laurel, i don't hear yanni at all. whether laurel or yanni, one thing we can all agree on, nothing has ever mattered less than this. [ laughter ] right at the bottom of the heap. [ cheers and applause ] and yet there are like 500 online theories about this, about why we hear what we hear,

also comparing this to that blue dress/gold dress thing from a few years ago. everybody has a different take. but ultimately it that what is real isn't absolute. what we believe to be true depends on who we are, where we are, how we look at it. other individual fak doctors. what's real to one person might not be real to another person. if that is true, which i now think it is, i mayo donald trump an apology. [ laughter ] because maybe this crowd, to him, really is bigger than this crowd. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] maybe it's just perspective. i'll say it's funny, it just so happens we have a similar debate that's been raging around or office and involves guillermo, actually. guillermo, people who work here are very split on this. so i'm curious. tell me what word you think he's saying here. >> guillermo: jogur.

jogur. >> jimmy: let's go to the source. guillermo, which word were you saying? >> guillermo: jogur. >> jimmy: okay. [ laughter ] [ applause ] doesn't it feel good to fight about something stupid again? the senate voted today to pass a measure to repeal trump administration changes to net neutrality rules. a huge majority of americans are in favor of net neutrality, which gives everyone equal access to the web. and prevents big corporations from basically controlling what we do and do not watch online. trump is against it. because, you know. obama was for it, that's how he makes most of his decisions. and new york senator chuck schumer said the internet should be kept free and open, like our highways, which he obviously doesn't live in southern california. [ laughter ] that's not how i would describe the 405. the big hurdle for net neutrality is ahead in the house

where most of the major boneheads live. they better do the right thing and vote to keep it in place. 83% of americans support this. you think we're mad about health care and climate change? wait until you slow our wi-fi down. we'll burn this country to the ground. [ cheers and applause ] as you may know, i have a couple of jobs. not only do i serve as a talk show host, i also serve the people as a tv judge with my trusty bailiff, guillermo. we operate our own functioning small claims court. these are real cases with real litigants who were judicious enough to put their legal fates in the capable hands of judge james. >> this is the plaintiff, kathy hall. she claims she hired the defendants to renovate her bathroom, only to be left with a subpar and damaged potty. she's suing for $7541.88. these are the defendants, jason and navi naffo.

they maintain their work was adequate and offered to fix the minimal damage and that's when the plaintiff threw a fit and became totally unreasonable. it's "the case of the bathroom blunder." >> guillermo: raise your right hand. >> what you are about to witness is real. the participants are not actors, they're actual litigants with a case pending in civil court. both parties have agreed to drop their claims to have their case decided here by judge james. >> jimmy: judge james is caught on the door. >> guillermo: oh my god. what a start. >> jimmy: judge james now has a fray in his robe. hi, guillermo. >> guillermo: hi, judge james, how are you doing? >> jimmy: good, thank you. >> guillermo: good. >> jimmy: you may be seated. >> guillermo: you can sit down now. >> jimmy: judge james is having a bad day already. >> guillermo: you also tried to do my job here. >> jimmy: get away from me.

>> guillermo: the litigants have been sworn in, your honor. >> jimmy: all right, very good. our plaintiff is kathy hall. what is your complaint today? >> him. >> jimmy: him, okay. the defendants are jason and avi. jason, avi? when you say him, jason or avi? >> well, the company in total. but jason. >> jimmy: what is the name of your company? >> in and out builders. >> jimmy: in and out burgers? >> builders. >> jimmy: in and out builders. >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: you've never had trouble with the in-n-out burger people? >> no. >> jimmy: maybe that will be our next case. there's a remodel on the bathroom? >> yes. >> jimmy: what happened? >> well, i originally hired him to redo the floor, replace the vanity, and replace the toilet. $2,500. the next morning, i went into the bathroom and found that they had drilled holes into my vanity that i purchased to attach a toilet paper roll holder that was not supposed to be attached.

>> you told us to do that. >> that's a lie. >> there was a vanity on the right side, shower door on the left side, the back drywall, where are you going to put the paper -- >> i was sitting in the living room, nobody asked. >> jimmy: you were going to have a bathroom without a toilet paper holder? >> no, i brought a stand. >> you never provided it to us. >> i didn't need to provide you a stand. >> jimmy: two holes, screw holes? >> yeah, and the screws were sticking through about an inch. >> she sues me for $7,000 for holes in the vanity. >> that's not it. >> jimmy: what else? >> when they took the marble out of the box they used a box cutter and scratched the entire marble back splash with the box cutter. >> jimmy: do you have photographs of this? >> i do have photographs. >> evidence locker. >> jimmy: is it true that your workers -- >> my worker said it was like that. >> jimmy: they didn't -- >> they isn't show me. >> jimmy: why did your workers install a scratched -- >> they didn't see the scratch. >> gas all the 8 across it.

there were multiple things wrong -- >> that's a lie. >> silicon all over the bathroom -- >> that's a lie. >> he cornered me in the bathroom -- >> i cornered you? >> this whole process you see his attitude. >> my attitude? >> you offered a camel for my daughter. >> jimmy: what? >> i have a recording of her screaming like crazy. >> i did scream at him the last day because i couldn't -- >> guillermo: hold was the camel? >> jimmy: hey, who's the judge here? don't worry about the camel, i'm going to get to the camel. >> guillermo: okay. >> jimmy: what happened, you offer adam medical? this is your daughter? >> this is my daughter. >> jimmy: first of all, congratulations. >> i don't have a camel. >> jimmy: i am a judge, i could marry the two of you right now. >> god, no. >> thank god, no, i don't need it. >> i'd have to deal with him the rest of my life. >> jimmy: avi, you have anything to say here? >> i never met him before. >> i never met her.

>> jimmy: go say hello. >> he came back later with edible arrangements. >> jimmy: that's nice. >> i'm a nice guy, i was trying to work it out. >> jimmy: was there a lot of melon in it? >> i threw it away. >> jimmy: you threw it away? >> guillermo: you should hug right now -- >> are you crazy? >> even if you pay me, i wouldn't hug her. >> jimmy: i'm going to go to my quarters and take an advil. and i will come back with my ruling on this case. >> will judge james rule in favor of the unhappy homeowner? or the bumbling bathroom brothers? and who will get custody of the camel? we'll find out when judge james returns. >> jimmy: oh, i can't wait to see how i ruled. when we come back, it all hits the bathroom fan in the thrilling conclusion to "judge james." we'll be right back.

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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. diane keaton, jim acosta, music from beach house is coming. first, this is something that could potentially affect your summer travel plans, especially if any of you have any of those bogus comfort animals? okay. starting in july, american airlines will not allow passengers on planes with emotional support goats. from now on you'll have to buy a seat for your goat like a normal person. apparently people try to bring these weird animals on the plane. they say to try to calm them down. american airlines has had enough of it. in fairness some people do have good reasons for why they need these pets. for instance, when i bring my goat on a flight it's not for

emotional support, it's for the milk. i have to have fresh goat milk or my nipples twist up. [ applause ] it's not just goats by the way. american airlines will not allow any animal that is unclean or has an odor. i hope that includes human passengers too. [ cheers and applause ] they're also banning support snakes, hedgehogs, and bugs. that one's going to be tough. sometimes the only thing that puts me to sleep on these long flights is the steady hum of my emotional support bees, you know? [ laughter ] who the hell flies with bugs? for emotional support? only time it's okay to fly with an emotional support bug is if you're peter pan. [ laughter ] so this is good. finally a travel ban most people can agree on. well done, american airlines. this is good too. this is from kmtv, from a small town outside of london where a little pot farm popped up and caused quite a come emotion on this very well-timed edition of "behind the news."

>> last august when it was found that neil and yvette hartley had been growing almost 90 cannabis plants, in this quiet corner, this pretty little corner in the kent countryside at the cottage just over my shoulder is where they had been growing cannabis. >> jimmy: follow that plant! [ applause ] all right, let's get back to the courtroom drama. when we left off, the plaintiff rejected the defendant's offer of a camel in exchange for her daughter's love. in a bitter bathroom battle, who will prevail? let's find out in the legally binding conclusion to "judge james." >> this whom owner claims the defendant constructed a crappy commode. this defendant maintains his washroom work was wonderful. this boy truss bailiff is ready

for his bathroom break. judge james is about to rule. let's listen. >> jimmy: hi, everyone. i'm back. >> guillermo: you can sit down now. >> jimmy: well -- emotions are really running high here in this case and i can see that you don't like each other. >> that's an understatement. >> jimmy: okay. mr. naffo, you offered miss hall a camel for her daughter, we got that. you gave her an edible arrangement. you did not accept the camel or the edible arrangement? >> no. >> jimmy: mr. naffo, at a certain point did you offer any kind of a cash reimbursement to ms. hall? >> i offered $2,000 back. >> jimmy: $2,000? do you agree that if there was a scratch in the marble that your worker should have seen that? >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: i will say this. on a personal level, a bathroom is a sacred place. ♪ a sang actualctuary, if you wil.

for me personally some of my most private thoughts are had. and i treasure my time in the bathroom. ♪ and i know how important it is. and with that said, i am going to rule in favor of the plaintiff for $2,000. >> wow, i gave the other contractor more than that. >> jimmy: when the gavel hits the thing, it's over. >> guillermo: all right. all right, guys. >> judge james has rendered his verdict. let's speak with the defendant first. you offered $2,000 and the text messages and judge james gave her $2,000, the whole thing was a waste of time, wasn't it? >> it was a waste of time, i'm glad it's over and done. >> what about the proposal? what if she had said yes? do you have a wife and kids? >> i do. >> would they have been okay with that. >> no, it was a joke. >> dodged a bullet. let me speak with the plaintiff. are you happy with judge james' verdict? >> i'm okay with the verdict. >> he did a nice thing. he offered you an edible arrangement.

>> yeah. >> let's see what we have here. we have it right here. grab a pineapple star, will you? it's the one that looks like a pineapple in a star. grab and it you grab one too. toast each other, come on it's all over. >> no, no. >> as good friends, come on. come on. hug. come on. come on. we'll come back. >> on the next "judge james" -- >> jimmy: what's this about sex toys? >> that's craziness. >> jimmy: are you missing sex toys? >> no, i'm not. >> guillermo: how big is the sex toys? >> about this big. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the show, music from beach house, from cnn jim acosta is here. we'll be right back with diane keaton. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by the mitsubishi eclipse cross. mitsubishi motors.

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he's been called a rockstar lwinning pro bono battles for immigrants and the homeless. defending gay rights and gun control. democrat jeff bleich. after columbine, bleich led president clinton's youth violence initiative. with joe biden, bleich took on domestic violence. served president obama as special counsel and ambassador. maybe bleich can't pull off the rockstar look... but his progressive record is solid gold. >> jimmy: hi there, welcome back. tonight, from fake news cnn, chief white house correspondent jim acosta is here. president trump hates this the guy. then, their latest album is called "seven" beach house from the mercedes-benz stage. beach house.

tomorrow night, will arnett, mgm-tv, ryan seacrest, gilian jacobs, julia michaels featuring trippy red. join us for that. you know our first guest from three "godfathers," two "fathers of the bride" and one "annie hall". next you can see her alongside a fonda, a bergen and even a steenburgen in the new comedy "book club." it opens in theaters friday, please say hello to diane keaton. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> i mean, it's really

unbelievable, how do you get them to make that much noise? >> jimmy: they did it for you, they saw you. >> they didn't do it for me. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there you go. >> should i sit down? >> jimmy: yeah, sit. i feel like you stopped by and you're leaving. >> whoo, look at me, whoo! >> jimmy: that's another great outfit. you really know -- >> you think so? you're just saying that? >> jimmy: you have these hand warmer things on. >> they're nice. >> jimmy: yeah. >> can i do one thing? >> jimmy: do whatever you want, yeah. >> can you come a little closer here? can i do one thing? >> jimmy: yeah, what? >> just get a little closer. can i touch your beard? >> jimmy: yeah, go ahead. >> do you mind? >> jimmy: i don't mind at all, i would be delighted. >> let me just touch it. ooh, nice. >> jimmy: yeah. i condition it. >> that feels good. >> jimmy: it's made out of real human hair. >> it's human. the grade there, that's sexy. >> jimmy: thank you, oh good. that's all there's going to be soon. >> it looks good.

>> jimmy: oh, thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> you look good. >> jimmy: you look good. >> every time i see him, i think the same thing. nice. >> think the same thing too, you know that. >> you're lying. >> jimmy: no, i'm not lying at all. >> yes, you are. >> jimmy: you know i'm not lying. >> we're going to have an argument here. >> jimmy: you do look great. >> you too. >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> having a little trouble. >> jimmy: why? >> well -- you know, i -- it's hard to come on your show. >> jimmy: why is it hard? this show in particular or talk shows in general? >> your show in particular, yeah, definitely. >> jimmy: oh. why? what's so hard about it? >> because i -- there's something about the entrance. you know, and then there's you. >> jimmy: oh. [ laughter ] >> and there's something about you. but i like the band. >> jimmy: oh, good, all right. [ cheers and applause ] >> i like the bad. >> jimmy: what about guillermo? >> where is -- >> guillermo: hi. >> come here, guillermo. >> guillermo: yeah, sure.

>> jimmy: you should feel his hair. [ cheers and applause ] >> guillermo: hi, how are you? >> do you mindfy say hello? now can i just touch your face too for a second? [ laughter ] okay, let me feel this here. >> jimmy: touch his face. >> that's a sweet face. >> jimmy: touch the top of the hair too, it's really worth it, it really is. >> wait a minute, what's that? what happened there? >> jimmy: it's like a comb. >> guillermo, that is special. >> jimmy: guillermo, how many gel dozen you use in the hair? >> guillermo: two, and a lot of hairspray. >> it's looking good. >> jimmy: two kinds of gel and hairspray. >> i'm going to try that. >> jimmy: go back to your spot. >> maybe you should. >> jimmy: go to his spot? in case there's any danger i need him there to stop it. >> i like guillermo. >> jimmy: i heard something about you that i felt was interesting, that you like to go on long road trips alone by yourself. >> i'm doing it on sunday. not sunday, actually, friday. i'm getting up 3:00 in the morning and you get in the car. i don't know if you -- all you people like to drive. but i just love being on the road. so i'm going to be driving to

tucson, past phoenix, where you grew up, right? >> jimmy: well, i lived in phoenix for a few years. i actually moved here from tucson. >> you lived in tucson. >> jimmy: i did. >> tucson is underappreciated. >> jimmy: it is, for sure, yeah. >> it's beautiful. so i bought a -- like a barrio property there. >> jimmy: oh. >> i'm really excited. i'm going to redo that. >> jimmy: oh. >> and fix the adobe. >> jimmy: you're very good at that kind of stuff. >> i love it. >> jimmy: were you driving by and you sported it? or intending to buy a place in tucson? >> i was hunting around a long time. a friend of mine, mark cunningham. i just love tucson. >> jimmy: will you live in this house? >> no. >> jimmy: you'll resell to it someone else? >> that might happen. i hope. >> jimmy: what do you do when you're in tucson? >> well, you know, like i say, one of the things i really enjoy is the cactus there. >> jimmy: you enjoy it in what way in the same way you enjoyed my beard? [ laughter ] >> i like touching the cactus.

it's essential experience. >> jimmy: saguaro cacti. >> that's right, that's right. >> jimmy: you like to go look at them, you're not allowed to touch them, they're protected. >> i like to look at them. i like to get pretty close. not too close. >> jimmy: and like do people -- when you're on the road, on a road trip, let's say you stop in at the cracker barrel in casa grande -- >> not the cracker barrel. >> jimmy: not the cracker barrel. you look for a good spot -- >> you know where i'm going to go. >> jimmy: where? >> i'm going to go to starbucks. >> jimmy: oh, to starbucks. >> oh, yeah. you can get the coffee. >> jimmy: do people go, what the hell is diane keaton doing here in this spot? >> nobody notices me. >> jimmy: they don't, you come in undercover? >> no, i come in like i am now. i get dressed up -- [ laughter ] do you think this hat is a bit much? let's get real. honestly, was this hat too much am. >> jimmy: well, i mean -- it worked great for abraham lincoln. [ laughter ] we're going to take a break.

diane keaton is here. the movie is called "book club." we'll be right back. this this this this is my body of proof. proof of less joint pain and clearer skin. this is my body of proof that i can take on psoriatic arthritis with humira. humira works by targeting and helping to block a specific source of inflammation that contributes to both joint and skin symptoms. it's proven to help relieve pain, stop further joint damage, and clear skin in many adults. humira is the #1 prescribed biologic for psoriatic arthritis. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions, and new or worsening heart failure. before treatment, get tested for tb. tell your doctor if you've been to areas where certain fungal infections are common, and if you've had tb, hepatitis b, are prone to infections, or have flu-like symptoms or sores. don't start humira if you have an infection.

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>> oh! love a man in uniform. >> your husband just died. >> harry, yeah. oh my goodness. oh. he was such a good man. >> i always thought that was the best thing to ever happen to you. >> harry dying was the best thing that ever happened to her? >> yeah, now she can have sex with somebody who's not an accountant. >> jimmy: diane keaton, jane fonda, mary steenburger, candice bergen in "book club." from what i understand it's four very honrny women reading? >> women of a certain age. >> jimmy: had you worked with them before? >> i'd never worked with any of them. i'm sorry, i'm struck by my hat. this hat is too low. where am i? that's scary. i look like a witch. [ laughter ] that's bad news for me. look, i had a great time with them. first of all, candi bergen is hilarious in this movie.

she just knows how to tell a [ bleep ] -- excuse me, a joke. [ laughter ] she knows how to tell a joke. that delivery is brilliant. i keep thinking maybe that's because of her years as murphy brown, right? where do you get that delivery? >> jimmy: i think she had it before "murphy brown." >> did she? it's just like, whoa. i was surprised when i saw the movie how she gets laughs all the time. then jane continues to be, you know, very -- like a sexual human. >> jimmy: yes, right, sure, yes. >> and very attractive, you know. and so she has a great love affair with don. but then mary steenburgen, i nel in love with. she dances, she's the sweetest person, and she's so kind. you know, so it's fun. it was a really fun movie. >> jimmy: who's your favorite of those three? >> what do you mean, favorite? >> jimmy: which one do you like best? >> i hike them all, what are you trying to do here? >> jimmy: i'm curious -- >> you want me to have enemies? i love them. i love them. i mean, i'm telling you, this was a nice movie to play. and also, can i talk about andy

garcia? >> jimmy: yeah, of course, i know andy garcia. >> i like him better than you. [ audience groaning ] >> i'm sorry. >> jimmy: andy is a very dashing man. >> whoa. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you're telling me? you want to see what happens with me and andy in the movie? >> jimmy: yes. >> i'm going to do it with you right now. this is the way it goes. at the end of the movie i have this extremely fun moment for me. and i'm seeing andy. and it's -- we're together. and i'm going to kiss him good-bye. okay? so here's how it went. you better stand up. >> jimmy: okay. do i go -- [ laughter ] so i'm andy garcia? [ cheers and applause ] >> as you know, usually the man does this. >> jimmy: oh. >> but in this particular moment, the woman -- i didn't have a hat on. so i didn't look like a witch, okay? so this is -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what's andy's character's name in the movie?

>> i don't know. >> jimmy: what's my motivation here? >> nothing. you're just a man. you're just a man, okay? [ laughter ] i'm here. that's my. i'm playing that part. i go like this. i look at his face. and i go -- this is why i was excited about touching his beard. i go like this. i go like this. it's my turn to do that. usually the man does that, am i right? >> jimmy: true. >> it's like -- the hat's in the way. [ cheers ] >> then i go, "okay, baby." and i go, mwah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh my goodness. well. well. >> am i done now? >> jimmy: a dream has come true for jimmy kimmel here. why can't i be andy garcia? well -- >> andy's great, andy's so great in the movie, he's so much fun

to act with. he's very loose. unlike you. you were stiff. >> jimmy: i was stiff. listen, i don't get much action. nobody cares about me. well, thank you so much. >> thank you so much. >> jimmy: i'm going to have to look at that again in slow motion. diane keaton, everyone. "book club" opens friday. we'll be right back with jim acosta. ( ♪ ) it's the details that make the difference. only botox® cosmetic is fda approved to temporarily make frown lines, crow's feet and forehead lines look better. it's a quick 10 minute treatment given by a doctor to reduce those lines. ask your doctor about botox® cosmetic by name. the effects of botox® cosmetic, may spread hours to weeks after injection, causing serious symptoms. alert your doctor right away as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems, or muscle weakness

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>> jimmy: hi there, welcome back to the show. i was thinking about it, i've only been kissed by three guests in the 15-plus years this show has been on. one of them was johnny depp. [ cheers ] one was regis. [ cheers ] and now diane keaton. my first woman. [ cheers and applause ] my first experience with a human woman. that's exciting. our next guest is not the most popular journalist at the white house.

and this is why. >> can you say once and for all -- >> jim, i'm going to say once and for all that i'm moving on to jim stenson and i'm not taking another question from you at this point. >> can you give us a question? >> i'm not going to give you a question. you are fake news. >> jim, that is one of the most outrageous, insulting, ignorant, and foolish things you've ever said. >> i'm changing it from fake news. >> doesn't that undermine -- >> very fake news. >> do you want people to come in from other parts of the world where there are people of color? >> out. >> jim, thank you. >> jimmy: he is a persistent thorn in the flabby underbelly of the trump administration. from cnn, please welcome chief white house correspondent, jim acosta. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you're a lot more popular here than the white house for sure. >> i guess so.

can i stay longer? >> jimmy: yes, you can. by the way, i love watching you bust their balls. i love it. i can't get enough of it. [ cheers and applause ] >> i'll do it more often. >> jimmy: are you the only reporter who's ever been kicked out of a press situation by the president of the united states? >> i think so. you know, i wear it as a badge of honor. >> jimmy: you should wear it as a badge. >> i'm hated bit best people, or the worst people. >> jimmy: are you their least favorite of all? >> probably. but you know, as fdr once said, "i welcome their hatred." i do. listen, when i covered barack obama, i was just as tough on him. >> jimmy: they didn't like you either. >> they didn't like me. >> jimmy: universally disliked. >> i am. it's difficult to find a table at a restaurant in washington. no, but i once asked obama about isis, why can't we get these bastards? the people at the white house under obama were very ticked off about that. >> jimmy: right. >> and eventually, you know, they get over that, because they realize you have to ask the hard questions. >> jimmy: were you a pain in the ass when you were a kid too? >> i was.

[ laughter ] let me get my mom on the phone. my mom is a single mother. you know, irish background. and, you know, i learned how to talk the way people talk. and you know, she didn't take any beef from me. and i learned, listen, you got to be tough with people. >> jimmy: it is funny that your last name is acosta and you're constantly accosting people. it's almost like you were born to do this. >> it's true, yes. >> jimmy: what is your personal relationship like with sarah huckabee sanders? >> it's -- is she here tonight? >> jimmy: no, she is not. she was going to come but she heard you were there. yeah, that would be something for her. >> we could do that. >> jimmy: is it in any way friendly? i mean, do -- >> i try to have a good relationship with them. sean spicer was one of my sources before he was the white house press secretary. you know, he took my calls. >> jimmy: he was? >> even after we had our confrontations, he would take my calls. sarah does the same as well. >> jimmy: she does, she takes calls? >> she does, sure. we try to have a good relationship. you know. this is a job. i think she understands that.

but at the same time, you know, we're not going to go out and be bowling buddies after hours. my job is to ask -- >> jimmy: why, because she would beat you at bowling? >> she would probably beat me at bowling, come to think of it. >> jimmy: when you do call her and she picks up the phone, do you ever hear her go, uhh, what, what now? is that how it goes? >> that is, pretty much. then there's a click. and silence. >> jimmy: there must be -- there must be moments, maybe even every day, where you go, wow, i can't believe that this is what i'm covering today. >> yeah. >> jimmy: what moment has stood out above all others in that respect? >> well, you played that clip. when the president of the united states calls you fake news to your face at a press conference, the one and only press conference he had during the transition, that was pretty surreal to me. remember the question i wanted to ask at that press conference at the time was, did you or your campaign have contacts with the russians before the election? as it turns out, that question was not fake news. >> jimmy: so in a way, oh, yeah,

turns out it wasn't fake news. >> turns out it wasn't. pretty real, actually. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: right. do you feel like, when you're in the room, like they don't call on you? because they do call on certain reporters. do they try to avoid you? pretend you're not there? >> i'm like the island of misfit toys from the old rudolph cartoon. they do do that. sean spicer was the master. he turned off the briefing room cameras for a while. other hijinks where he wouldn't call on me during the briefings. i would wait, because i know cnn is still rolling live on the press briefing. i would shout out a question. when trump was speculating that perhaps he had tapes of him and jim comey talking about wiretapping at trump tower, whatever, i would yell, "where are the tapes?" tweet out #wherearethetapes? to let them know, you can skip over us, but we're still going to ask these questions. >> jimmy: what was the moment you realized -- i know we suspected that there would be a lot of nonsense going into this. where you realized, oh, this is going to be very different?

>> i mean, listen, during the campaign, you know, he would call us the disgusting news media, the dishonest news media, scum, liars, thieves, criminals, so on. >> jimmy: that just means he has a crush on you. [ laughter ] >> that is. there was one press conference he called me a real beauty. i thought, what's happening here? is this a good thing, a bad thing? >> jimmy: it's not a good thing. >> it's not a good thing, no. but you know, listen. they can intimidate us. >> jimmy: when sean spicer started off with the crowd size thing. >> right. >> jimmy: that had to be -- >> a little jarring. when he said, this is the biggest inauguration crowd size in the history of mankind or something like that. i mean, the thing that was absurd about the whole thing, first of all, it was on the first full day of the administration. people forget that. right after the president went to the cia, stood before a memorial to fallen cia agents, went after the press, accused of misreporting h ining inaugural size. sean spicer gives all these

statements to us, doesn't take any questions, leaves the room. he says things we ended up being able to prove false. he said, this was the first time they were using white ground coverings that made it look like the crowd was smaller. we found white ground coverings on the mall at obama's second inaugural, so on. >> jimmy: do you ever feel sorry for sean spicer, sarah sanders, for having to be in that spot defending things that they must know some of these things are either not true or nonsensical. >> i mean, this is a -- it's a serious question. i mean, it's one of those questions where i could throw out a zinger and go after sean. my sense of it is that, listen, they've signed up for this. if they're going to lie to the american people, those lies come with consequences. and it's our job, and listen, they can play all the games they want and not call on me. there's going to be somebody else who's going to come in. i have other colleagues who ask hard questions as well. and, you know, we're just not going to stop. at the white house easter

example roll, for example, the president made the statement about daca, said daca is dead. the democrats killed daca. so at the white house easter egg roll, he doesn't take questions from me very often. i went out there, determined to get this question to him. first the white house people go, jim, jim, cnn, you're over here. they moved me to this side of the white house south lawn. no jim, you're over here. moved me to this other side. they moved me three times, jimmy, before i finally was in the spot where they wanted me. and then, out of nowhere, here comes the president. he walked right into a perfect spot by the third time they had moved me, i was in the perfect spot to ask the question. so they had screwed themselves, basically. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: will there ever be a scenario where you get to interview the president one on one? >> i don't think that's ever going to happen. i don't want to blow up the world. >> jimmy: why, do you think he's scared to sit down with you one on one? >> you know, listen. i was with sam donaldson the other day. first time i'd ever met him.

>> jimmy: really, wow. >> white house correspondent for abc, legendary reporter. >> jimmy: sure. >> and you know, somebody asked him, if you were to sit down with the president, what would you ask? he said, i'd just ask the questions of the day. which is what i would do. i'd ask him the questions of the day. >> jimmy: do you dare the president to sit down with you? >> i dare him to sit down for an interview with me. you know, it's not as if we're going to go in there, you know, kamikaze, ramming speed. you know, we would do what we always do. which is do the news. >> jimmy: all right. well, i'm enjoying you tormenting them. ilwill say that. it's a small consolation. >> it's a living, it pays the bills. >> jimmy: jim acosta from cnn. watch his white house coverage ever reday on cnn. be right back with beach house! >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.

d the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: i want to thank diane keaton, jim acosta and apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time. this is their album "seven."

here with the song "drunk in la" beach house! ♪ ♪ ♪ can't help seeking corners of dark and dead end rooms ♪ ♪ where the drinks keep pouring down and the candles keep me warm ♪ ♪ isolation tenders something fragile coming soon ♪ ♪ skinny angels making eyes at cameras perched in every room ♪

♪ i had a good run playing horses in my mind ♪ ♪ left my heart out somewhere running wanting strangers to be mine ♪ ♪ memory's a sacred meat that's drying all the time on a hillside i remember i am loving losing life ♪ ♪ ♪ strawberries in springtime pretty happy accidents ♪ ♪ my awareness that i'm lucky rolling clouds over cement ♪ ♪ maybe there's a screenplay

or a bathroom i can hide ♪ ♪ down the hallways of a high school and the dances left behind ♪ ♪ i had a good run playing horses in my mind ♪ ♪ left my heart out somewhere running wanting strangers to be mine ♪ ♪ i would climb the eiffel tower write letters on the sky ♪ ♪ how many turns it took to reach you ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ i had a good run playing horses in my mind on a hillside i remember i am loving losing life ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

this is "nightline." >> tonight, inside an epidemic. new mothers dying at an alarming rate here in america. what's going on? and how can we stop it? on the inside with one doctor racing against the clock to save lives. plus "idol" finals. >> i literally feel a little like where are you? >> behind the scenes of a live "american idol" with ryan seacrest. >> the most difficult thing to do is be disciplined enough not to say anything as i see the results. >> how this season is breaking tradition and the remaining three contest stancontestants o show-stopping performance with carrie underwood. first here are the "nightline 5." >> stop fearing your alarm