tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC July 4, 2018 11:35pm-12:37am PDT
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>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live!" tonight, billy bob thornton, from "tag," hannibal buress, this week in unnecessary censorship, and music from aloe blacc. and now, for the time being, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome. appreciate it. hola. thanks for coming. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. and for those of you who weren't with us earlier tonight in primetime, shame on those who were not. we had another big night of basketball here at abc, game
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four between the golden state warriors and cleveland cavaliers. president trump today said he will not invite the winner of the nba finals to the white house. he said if they don't want to be here, i don't want them here. melania was like, hey, really? [ laughter ] the president will, however, welcome the new nhl champion, washington capitals, who won their first-ever stanley cup last night. [ cheers and applause ] congratulations to the washington capitals on their great play and winning the stanley cup. alex ovechkin, the team captain, was spectacular. a true superstar. d.c. is popping in many ways. what a time. what a time indeed. alex ovechkin last night became the first russian-born team captain ever to win the stanley cup, which means there will soon be another russian in the white house what a surprise. [ laughter ] usually they have to sneak in. sadly for me the capitals beat the vegas golden knights. i grew up in las vegas, cleto grew up in las vegas, and we were excited.
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the team had a miraculous rookie season. the city really rallied around them. the last time an expansion team, a first-year team in any sport got to a championship, was 1968. 50 years ago. and so this is an amazing achievement. i congratulate the knights for that. selfishly i'm worried that washington beating vegas is an omen for my one-on-one basketball next weekend against ted cruz. i thought about it. i realized, this is not an omen, it's motivation for me to avenge last night's loss. [ cheers and applause ] so one week from tomorrow, las vegas will give the scourge of washington, d.c. the beat-down he deserves. on the very good chance you have no idea what i'm talking about, ted cruz, the senator from texas, was unhappy i compared him to a blobfish. [ laughter ] and the blobfish wasn't too thrilled either, by the way. he challenged me to a one-on-one game and i accepted the
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challenge. next saturday in texas it's on. ted has been doing some trash tweeting. fear not i'm working hard to get ready for jimmy kimmel. should i be creeped out ted cruz is hanging photographs of me in his hotel room? he was caught today strolling the halls of the senate by tmz. how does tmz get in the senate? [ laughter ] for that matter, how did ted cruz get in the senate? anyway, here's what senator cruz had to say. >> -- basketball game with jimmy kimmel starting to get a little more final here. you have a date, you have a place, what's the latest? >> it's going to be a week from saturday and i'm looking forward to it, it should be fun. >> in high school you played basketball, he played clarinet. how is he possibly going to beat you? >> well, listen, i was a mediocre high school player. i rode the bench an awful lot. i don't know how it's going to shake out. my team is terrified that jimmy kimmel's going to dunk on me. >> jimmy: that i wouldn't worry about. [ laughter ] i have a two-inch vertical leap. the only dunking i do is doughnuts.
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>> do you feel another element to this is a charitable thing? what does that work for? >> so the terms of the challenge -- jimmy kimmel was making fun of my rockets for losing. >> jimmy: okay, hold on. first of all, i did no such thing. i know what you're trying to do here, lyin' ted, trying to turn the fans in houston against me because you say i made fun of the rockets. i did not make fun of the rockets, i made fun of you pretending to be a fan of the rockets. and looking like a greasy blobfish while you did it. [ laughter ] but go on. >> was blaming me for their loss. >> jimmy: yeah, that is true, i did blame him for their loss, and i still do. if he stayed home, they'd be playing cleveland tonight. but continue. >> so i challenged him to one on one. i said the loser has to give $5,000 to the nonpolitical charity of the winner's choice. i'm hopeful that the day will end with jimmy writing the check and making a difference in some kids' lives. >> jimmy: i look forward to one of us making a difference in some kids' lives. i have a feeling it's going to be me.
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[ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] so that will happen on saturday, june 16th. we're calling it the blobfish basketball classic. we'll have details on how to be there in person next week. it will be in houston, texas. meanwhile, president trump is in canada. he's in quebec for the annual g7 summit where he had the chance today to pose for a photo with all the leaders he's been bashing on twitter this week. justin trudeau, leader of canada, very uncomfortable. trump has been hammering two of our closest, maybe our two closest allies, canada and france. and while doing it kissing up to russia again. the g7 used to be the g8. they kicked russia out of it after russia illegally annexed crimea and invaded ukraine, which is still happening. trump says it's time to forgive all those terrible misdeeds and let his buddies in russia become in the club. >> russia should be in the meeting. d wod mmend and it's eeting ouru
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up to them, but russia should be in the meeting. it should be a part of it. you know? whether you like it or not, and it may not be politically correct, but we have a world to run. [ laughter ] and in the g7, which used to be g8, they threw russia out. they should let russia come back in. because we should have russia at the negotiating table. >> jimmy: wow, isn't that considerate. [ cheers and applause ] nothing to do with the elections, that's a witch hunt. he wants everyone to get along. russia already has a representative at the g7, his name is donald trump. [ laughter ] the president also weighed in today on a controversial subject of whether, as president, he can grant himself a pardon, to which he answered, yeah, man, i would love to. >> i'm not above the law. i never want anybody to be above the law. but the pardons are a very positive thing for the president. i think you see the way i'm using them. and yes, i do have an absolute right to pardon myself. but i'll never have to do it because i didn't do anything
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wrong. >> jimmy: right. if i did do anything wrong, i will. but i didn't do anything wrong so i won't. he loves giving out these pardons. he's looking at thousands of people to pardon right now, many of whom haven't even committed their crimes yet. [ laughter ] that's how committed he is. he likes to give pardons to famous people. he's already floated the idea of a pardon for martha stewart. today suggested that another high-profile pardon might be in the works. >> there will be more pardons. i thought alice yesterday was beautiful. i thought jack johnson, which was recommended by sylvester stallone and some great boxers, i thought jack johnson was a great one. i'm thinking about somebody that you all know very well. and he went through a lot. and he wasn't very popular then. >> o.j.? >> and he wasn't very popular -- no, i'm not thinking about o.j. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but would it surprise anyone if he was? oh, hi, guys. how you doing?
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all the best people. here's a guy trump might have to pardon. his lawyer, rudy giuliani. rudy's done it again. rudy tried a new tactic this week. instead of saying something dumb on behalf of the president, he said something dumb on behalf of the first lady. he spoke at an event in tel aviv wednesday where he said melania knows reports of trump's affair with stormy daniels are untrue because she believes her husband, and weirdly melania's spokesperson said, hold on a second. this is a quote. she said, "i don't believe mrs. trump has ever discussed her thoughts on anything with mr. giuliani." that's kind of all you need to know about what's up in that house. [ laughter ] how would rudy giuliani know what melania thinks? you watch him speak for two seconds, pretty clear he doesn't even know what he thinks. this has been a tough week for trump's press secretary, sarah huckabee sanders. she's been hammered for playing dodgeball with the truth this week. even more so than usual. while it's hard to make excuses for anyone who goes along with all this stuff, sarah sanders,
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not only is she getting beat up in the white house, lately she's been having a tough time in her own house too. ♪ >> mom, can we have ice cream for breakfast? >> your father made his position crystal clear. >> ice cream, ice cream, ice cream! >> i'll let you rudely interrupt me and your colleague. i ask that you allow me to finish my answer. >> did she just call you a colleague? >> i would be happy to answer it if you would stop talking long enough to let me do that. >> okay, mama. >> thanks, guys. >> mom, you forgot to feed us! >> jimmy: you know, that happens. all right. hey, you know what? kids are going to get their credentials. we have to take a break. we will test the loyalty of warriors fans up in oakland, "this week in unnecessary censorship" too. stick around, we'll be right back. i'm to your bumper, cause....
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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. billy bob thornton, hannibal burress, music from aloe blacc is on the way. first uber. you know uber. the guys who deliver cologne to your nose? uber's been working on a mysterious new product to safeguard their drivers against one of the primary hazards of the job. uber applied for a patent for technology that can identify drunk people. i thought uber was the technology to identify drunk people. [ laughter ] but apparently drivers are tired of dealing with unruly customers who have had too much to drink. they argue, they fight, they vomit in the car. so they're working on software to identify them. i have an easier way to identify them. look at your watch. if it's after 10:00 p.m., that's
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a drunk person about to get in your car. but i thought that was interesting. uber is working to get the drunks out of their cars and back behind the wheel where they belong. [ laughter ] today game four of the nba finals. the warriors and the cavaliers who have now been in the finals for four straight years, which is a lot. and of course fans of both teams are very loyal. we decided to put their loyalty to the test. we went to oakland to talk to warriors fans. we asked them if they wouldn't mind just to save the camera crew a trip, if they'd put on a jersey supporting the cavaliers. so again, to be clear, we asked warriors fans to pretend to be cavaliers fans in a battle of loyalty versus courtesy. and, well, here's how that went. >> big warriors fan? >> big warriors fan! >> from here in the bay hear? >> yes, i am. >> big warriors fan? >> yes, i am. >> what do you love about them? >> everything. >> i love the warriors, i love all the players, i love the attitude. >> we love the warriors!
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whoo! >> go, warriors! whoo! >> you a big warriors fan? >> yes, i am. >> what do you like about them? >> i love the spirit, the intensity, they're great. >> go, warriors! >> that's wonderful. could you do me a favor and put on this cavs stuff and say the same kind of thing? i don't want to have to go all the way to ohio. >> i don't want to wear that t-shirt. >> i know. can i get you to put this on and say something good about the cavs? >> get out of here. i ain't going to do that. >> no, no one's going to see this, nobody watches tv anymore. >> get out of here. there's no way i'm going to do that. >> it's fine. if your friends see it, tell them you're on ambien. >> no, no, i can't do that. >> could i possibly get you to throw on a cleveland shirt and do the same? i have to get both sides. >> okay, sure, what the hell. >> that would be great, that would be great, thanks. i sure appreciate you flipping like this. this is great. >> geez. >> watch your glasses. oh, that's great. oh, terrific. >> okay. >> a cavs hat too.
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why do you hate the warriors so much? talk about why you hate the warriors. >> they're the worst. they stink. >> how long you been a cleveland fan? >> uh -- many -- many years. >> what do you love about them? >> everything. go cleveland! >> lebron is the king of kings. lebron is bigger than jesus. >> lebron, you're the man, all your hard work, your dedication, we love you, the city loves you! thank you for all your work! we're number one! >> yeah, that was great. that was great. is loyalty important to you? >> oh, absolutely. >> watch the cavaliers beat the warriors on abc! >> we're getting in trouble here. >> warriors! >> big cavaliers fan? >> yeah, i'm a big cavaliers fan. >> what do you love about them? >> i love -- king james, of course. i love the -- the camaraderie,
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the team spirit. >> i can't believe you, man. i can't believe you. >> i promised him no one would see this. >> he's straddling the fence, nothing like a bandwagon. all these years you've been a warrior fan? >> i'm just trying to help him out. >> no, there ain't that much help in the world, are you kidding me? sit down! now he throws it down. i'm done with you, man. >> i apologize, don't tell nobody. >> i'm going to tell winslow, i'm going to tell all the fellows we hang out with at the doughnut shop. you're done. you need to take that off. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: winslow. when winslow finds out, he is going to be furious. before we forge ahead, it is friday night which means it's time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week whether they need it or not. it is "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> do you and the president's attorneys believe the president has the power to [ bleep ]
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himself? >> he has no intention of [ bleep ]ing himself. but he -- doesn't say he can't. >> the president has never said he'd [ bleep ] himself, i don't know where the president would go [ bleep ] himself. >> but i don't think a president should [ bleep ] himself. >> he's a big [ bleep ], big [ bleep ]. tough [ bleep ], tough [ bleep ]. >> i still feel good even with turning my ankle last night, getting a finger jammed into my [ bleep ]. >> i'm ready for my big [ bleep ]. >> a massive alligator decided to take a [ bleep ] on a woman's front doorstep. >> donald trump's very large [ bleep ] was basically on xi's head. >> talk about your grip on your [ bleep ]. you want to show everyone at home how you grip your [ bleep ]? >> just like this. >> i have been [ bleep ]ing your [ bleep ] for the last hour. >> you'd have a hard time touching your nose with? >> i'm going to say [ bleep ]. >> look, i can damn near do it from here.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the show, music from aloe blacc. hannibal burress is here. be right back with billy bob thornton! ♪ incomparable performance cars cannot be rushed. they must be painstakingly crafted. out of titanium, aluminum, and high tensile steel. hand-built by masters, scrutinized by experts, and tested... ...relentlessly. the lexus high performance line. experience exhilaration crafted to the extreme. experience amazing at your lexus dealer. the beswith neutrogena® beach? beach defense® sunscreen. helioplex™ powered, uva uvb strong. beach strength protection for the whole family. for the best day in the sun.
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>> jimmy: hi there, welcome back to the show. tonight from a very funny new movie called "tag," hannibal burress is here. his song, "brooklyn in the summer," aloe blacc from the mercedes-benz stage. next week we have many new shows. some say too many new shows next week. bob odenkirk, jon hamm, jamie foxx, kevin costner, samuel l. jackson, dj khaled, and tiffany haddish, with music from future, weezer, ella may,
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gallant with asap ferg, and g-eazy featuring yo gotti too. boy do i feel white sometimes. [ laughter ] anyway. i'll be white all next week, too. our first guest is a great actor and director and remains the billy-bobbiest oscar winner in the history of this country. season two of his show "goliath" premieres a week from today on amazon. please welcome billy bob thornton. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> hey! >> jimmy: you know what? you know, i know people are happy to see you. i didn't expect you to get a "yow!" >> oh, yeah. yeah.
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>> jimmy: have you ever made that noise in your life? >> yes, i have. >> jimmy: you have. for whom? >> i can't tell you. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it was a private situation? >> it was a private situation. >> jimmy: i see, all right. i was thinking like a concert, but okay. you're a big sports fan, right? >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: i know you watch all the st. louis cardinals games. >> yes. >> jimmy: you're crazy about them. do you watch basketball? nba guy? >> you know, i watch the nba, but i'm mainly an ncaa guy. >> jimmy: you like the college basketball games? >> love college basketball. >> jimmy: what's your college basketball team? >> well -- i grew up as a razorback fan. [ cheers ] it hasn't been amazing lately. but we have in the past had some great teams. >> jimmy: your dad was a basketball coach, what, a high school basketball coach? >> yes, high school basketball coach. if you imagined "hoosiers," only a lot more poor, that was my life. >> jimmy: unpaid version of "hoosiers." was that his job? he volunteered? >> that was his job. >> jimmy: did you play for him?
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>> never did. we lived in a town that was about 10,000 people. he coached at little schools around there. so he was never my coach, thank god. >> jimmy: why do you say thank god? >> he was really -- he was kind of like bobby knight, you know. >> jimmy: oh, really. >> i thought bobby knight was a great coach. but he was real hard to play for. but his players loved him. >> jimmy: they did, okay. >> absolutely loved him. >> jimmy: well, the players love him, that's good. you feel like maybe he would have been tougher on you? >> i'm sure he would have been. >> jimmy: right. >> he was tougher on me about everything. so yeah. >> jimmy: did he coach you in any sports at all? >> well, you know, he taught me some stuff. i was a baseball player. so i played basketball. but my main sport was baseball. i was a junk pitcher. and you know how when you're a kid, a lot of times -- you remember when they put the rope out with the tire on it and you throw through the tire? >> jimmy: right. >> get your control down. well, my dad, who was pretty
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crafty, he laid a mattress against a tree in the backyard. and he put the tire on the ground. and leaned it against the mattress. so i would -- to teach me to keep the ball down. >> jimmy: interesting. >> and i learned to throw my slider and curveball, you know, right into that tire. >> jimmy: oh, so you threw all sorts -- >> oh, yeah, a lot of stuff. >> jimmy: did you ever throw a knuckleball? >> i couldn't throw a knuckleball. i can throw one, but it's not great. >> jimmy: it doesn't wobble at all? >> no, it's -- it's not like tim wakefield or somebody. no, it's pretty weak. but i did throw a screwball. >> jimmy: you did, really? a screwball? >> threw a screwball. >> jimmy: what happened to the screwball? >> well, i don't know. >> jimmy: it just went away. >> it's now called other things. >> jimmy: i see. >> they've got about 30 different kinds of fastballs. >> jimmy: screwball is a good name. >> i love a screwball. >> jimmy: it's not just a good name for a pitch, it's a good name for like children. >> comedy. >> jimmy: "hey, screwball, get in the house!" >> exactly. the thing about the screwball, it's kind of hard to control.
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so if i was on that day, you couldn't hit it. >> jimmy: right. >> if i wasn't, i would hit people with it. >> jimmy: i see. >> i either struck you out or hit you in the head, one or the other. >> jimmy: well, so is it true that you were the heaviest baby in like the history of your county? >> the world, jimmy. >> jimmy: the history of the world. >> no, i -- >> jimmy: what did you weigh as a baby? >> i was in the newspaper as -- it said the fattest baby in clark county. i still have the picture. when i was 7 months old -- and you have to -- well, you know. you are a father. you know this sweet thing and all that kind of stuff. people that don't have kids maybe won't get this. when i was 7 months old i weighed 30 pounds. >> jimmy: wow! wow. >> and that's -- that's a big old baby. and by the time i was 3 or 4, i
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became a beanpole. >> jimmy: wow. >> i used to eat sticks of butter like candy bars, my mom said. >> jimmy: why were they letting you in the refrigerator? >> they didn't. >> jimmy: we do have the picture. is this the one? that was in the newspaper? >> yeah, there you go. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: biggest baby in the county. you're pleasantly plump but not like -- i wouldn't think like newspaper fat. >> no, that's -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's newspaper fat? >> yeah. >> jimmy: have you ever thought about making a sequel to "sling blade"? is that something you've ever seriously considered? >> i don't know. i think -- sometimes things are better left alone. i mean, i'm not sure what it would be. and i think the chance you take with stuff like that is just too great. i mean, it became iconic. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so kind of why mess with it? if you did it again -- >> jimmy: i'm not saying you,
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-- not saying you should. but i love that movie. and it's like -- yeah, you just -- a lot of times people will -- i guess they do, they can actually ruin it retroactively in a way. >> yeah. >> jimmy: if you make a sequel that doesn't live up. >> i think about that sometimes because -- like i don't watch things i do, because i think somehow magically i'm going to change history if i watch it. i'll watch it again and then people won't like it and i won't like it. i'll just leave everything -- shut the lid on everything. >> jimmy: i think that's called some kind of obsessive/compulsive disorder, right? >> i'm sure of that, right. >> jimmy: this show, goliath, on amazon, this is a great show. this is the second season of the show. they all come out at once on amazon, correct? >> yes. >> jimmy: yes. do you like that? that they all come out at once? >> yeah, kind of. the way they do it, it feels like you're making an eight-hour, ten-hour movie, so i think it's good that people are able to watch it straight through. and i've caught myself doing it a couple of times, you know. you think you're going to watch
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one episode, and then -- >> jimmy: yeah, one of our producers -- >> 3:00 a.m., all of a sudden you're on episode 7. >> jimmy: one of our producers did that with your show last night. he just started watching it and next thing he knew the sun was coming up. you play a lawyer who's an alcoholic, and you shoot in santa monica, in venice, here in l.a. do the people now -- are you now known by the locals for -- i mean, i imagine you're out on the street quite frequently out there? >> yes. and we shoot down at sheajay, the legendary bar/restaurant down there. pretty great place. >> jimmy: how long's that been around? >> 1959. a lot of people have graced that place. steve mcqueen. people like that used to hang out there. and, you know, it really -- in that area, you see more tourists than you do locals. locals go in sheajay, but the people on the street, like we're
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filming in the parking lot or whatever, i always see people from nebraska and new jersey, everywhere. and it's always fun. because i'm kind of codependant and feel like, you know, these are the people that put shoes on my kids. so i feel like i -- you owe your fans. >> jimmy: not literally, you're not letting your fans touch your children? >> no, actually -- >> jimmy: you do, that is really codependant. >> but it's -- i just think when they want to take pictures -- a.d.s, i drive them crazy. >> jimmy: in the middle of the shoot, somebody strolls in, you stop and take the picture? >> yeah. mostly it's tourists there. but the harder thing also when we're shooting down on the boardwalk in venice. because there are a lot of characters on the venice boardwalk that have been there forever. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> i mean, and they know me. and so -- >> jimmy: you might be one of them. [ laughter ] >> well, you know? i definitely have been one of them. >> jimmy: oh, yeah? >> at certain points, yes.
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but you know -- we've had a couple of scenes where i was -- there was one scene in particular where i was on the phone. i'm supposed to be talking to one of my pals on the phone. and i've got the thing up to my ear here. and i'm walking down the venice boardwalk. and the whole crew's there, shooting this scene. a lot of dialogue on the phone. and this guy rides up on a bicycle that i've been seeing out there for 25 years. hey, man, how's it going? i'm like, yeah, i'm kind of in a scene. you know. and i just couldn't help it. stopped, talked to him, asked how he'd been. the a.d.s are running down there screaming at everybody. i can't help it. you know, when people are enthusiastic, i like to encourage them. you know? >> jimmy: that's good. that's nice. [ cheers and applause ] billy bob thornton, he encourages enthusiasm. season 2 of "goliath" premieres a week from today on amazon. we'll be right back! so where are you robots headed?
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[birds chirping] jimmy? you're so old. [crunch!] it's the future! (robot vacuum) can contribute to poor indoor air quality? ow. (vo) filtrete healthy living filters with exclusive 3m filtration technology help capture the small particles others can't. keep the robot vacuum. change your filter. filtrete. let's clear the air. ♪ strummed guitar you can't experience the canadian rockies through a screen. you have to be here, with us. ♪ upbeat music travel through this natural wonder and get a glimpse of amazing, with a glass of wine in one hand,
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and a camera in the other, aboard rocky mountaineer. cans call your travel agent or rocky mountaineer for special offers now. >> jimmy: hi there. still to come, music from aloe blacc. our next guest is a very funny actor and comedian with a very funny new movie about a group of adult friends who still play tag. it's called "tag." and it opens a week from today. please welcome hannibal buress. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> how you doing, man? >> jimmy: i'm doing well. i felt when i shook your hand you moved back as if i was going to kiss you. >> no, it's people yelling. it's really quiet back there, you step out -- >> jimmy: that's backstage, this is onstage, that's why. >> they were yelling. but i'm relaxed now. >> jimmy: okay, good, you're relaxed. how are you doing? everything all right? >> everything's good. >> jimmy: may i ask you to answer very honestly, i want to ask you a question. when they said, we've got a movie about adults playing tag, what was your initial reaction? >> how much does it pay? [ laughter ] no. i read the script. the idea is kind of absurd. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> i read the script. it had some funny stuff in it. and there's movies about way more extreme, weird things. like genocide. >> jimmy: yeah, that's true. there's none of that in this movie. >> no genocide, it's very
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relaxed. "tag" is "fast and furious" without cars. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i thought, oh, this sounds ridiculous. but this is i have to say one of the funniest movies i've seen in a long time. it's a very funny movie. was it fun to shoot? >> doing movies is boring. >> jimmy: yeah. it is, yeah. >> it's super boring. like it's so much free time. it's so much free time. so much free time that one of the other actors, jake johnson. >> jimmy: yeah, he's funny. >> one time i popped in his trailer, there was some down time. and he was in there building an exercise machine. and i'm like, there's so much time. it's so much free time. you're in here building [ bleep ] for real? you're in here doing stuff that's harder than our actual job. >> jimmy: it is kind of ridiculous, isn't it. >> yeah, he had a screwdriver, instructions.
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he was focused. and he built it. >> jimmy: you did something really beautiful, i think. >> yeah. >> jimmy: explain this. because i think you know what i'm talking about. with the tweet that you tweeted. >> well, while i was filming "tag," the "spider-man" premiere was happening. >> jimmy: you were in "spider-man." >> i have a small role in "spider-man." thank you. [ cheers and applause ] ha! >> jimmy: they don't want to -- >> it was two powerful scenes. >> jimmy: they saw what happened earlier, they don't want to scare you now at this point. so you were invited to the hollywood premiere. >> of "spider-man." but i was filming "tag." and i couldn't make it. and so i still wanted to be a part of the premiere. so i hired somebody to go for me. >> jimmy: you put this tweet up. and the tweet says, l.a., i need a look-alike with solid comedic timing for an event tonight, pay $500. >> yeah. >> jimmy: e-mail to
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hanniballookalike3@gmail.com. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] first of all, i want people to know, 500 bucks is good pay for l.a. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yeah, for an actor in l.a., day of? >> jimmy: to go to a premiere? >> yeah, hey. so -- >> jimmy: by the way, were there a hannibal lookalike 1 and 2? >> yeah, i went for the hannibal lookalike, we don't have those available, there's some weird stuff going on that i don't know about, who the hell has hannibal lookalike 1 and 2. >> jimmy: how many e-mails did you get? >> hundreds. some from white people wasting my time. [ laughter ] white dudes from portland. you're not even in los angeles, you're portland, you're white, you send a picture to be my look-alike, you're wasting my time. you're not helping me progress. >> jimmy: you did find a guy? >> i found a guy. i worked with him before on a thing i shot for mtv movie awards.
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so i got him because, like, oh, he's not crazy. >> jimmy: you knew this guy. >> yeah, i knew he wasn't crazy and he would be somewhat professional. >> jimmy: so he goes to the premiere. >> yeah. >> jimmy: as you. >> i sent him the credentials. i e-mailed him. i tell him who to ask for when he gets there. and they let him on. [ laughter ] they let him on. >> jimmy: and how far -- now, what did you instruct? did you tell him to do interviews as you? >> i said, do interviews, just play it cool, man. i said, just stay stuff i would say. say stuff you say, it was a good time working with the cast, it was so much fun, you know. when you work with people, you become like a family after a while. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: and this worked with what percentage of the media? >> with enough to make me really happy. [ laughter ] he did an interview. >> jimmy: i have the interview. i want to show it. curious as to whether you got to see it all. >> yes, he was on instagram live. we were on set on "tag" doing
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nothing. [ laughter ] so i was able to just watch him the whole time. i was able to -- that's how much time on movies, that i was able to plan this entire thing out from across the country. i was able to hire a lookalike, give him the information to go to the premiere, tell him what to do, then watch him do it. [ laughter ] while i was filming a movie. >> jimmy: so now this interview, somebody on the red carpet. >> yeah. >> jimmy: got hold of this guy. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: and thinks it's you. >> i'm here with hannibal burress. what is it like to be part of such an incredibly huge universe like this? >> you know, it was a great opportunity. i had a lot of fun. "spider-man" is huge. we grew up watching "spider-man." to play coach wilson, working with the cast, it was a great time. i had a blast. you know, i wouldn't trade it for nothing in the world. [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: she had no idea. >> he was -- he looks nothing like me. [ laughter ] he's four inches taller and in way better shape. >> jimmy: what he was wearing, did you tell him to wear that? >> no, i said wear something nice. [ laughter ] that's a solid shirt. it's not my style, though. shout-out, joe carroll. >> jimmy: that's joe, okay. nicely done, joe. [ cheers and applause ] i know you're a basketball fan, right? >> yeah, huge basketball fan. >> jimmy: did you watch the finals? >> yeah, i was watching -- we were on press tour. we were in miami. and i went to some friends' house in miami. and i take it -- i don't drink anymore. i started taking psychedelics. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: for real? >> i took some acid. i took some acid and it was fun. basketball's super interesting on acid. >> jimmy: is it? >> then the commercials during the game came on. and it was kanye on "celebrity
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family feud." and i was like, yo, i'm really tripping right now! [ laughter ] i was like, what? oh, man, this is some good acid, what am i seeing? he was laughing it up with steve harvey. ha ha ha! i was like, this is crazy right now! [ laughter ] turns out that was real. >> jimmy: yeah, that is -- that's this weekend, i think. >> yeah. checking it out. it's stuck in my brain. >> jimmy: it's really good to see you. very well done. i'm impressed. very strong. hannibal burress. see him in "tag." it opens in theaters one week from today. be right back with music from aloe blacc! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.
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♪ remember we sat in the cold no money in my trio underneath that waterfall ♪ ♪ nobody else ever saw i packed up everything except those memories that only i can see ♪ ♪ and can't get rid of i still remember the first your body hit every nerve used to wake up ♪ ♪ in my shirt that's the one i had to burn trying not to stare but you are everywhere ♪ ♪ you're everywhere that i ever known you feel like brooklyn in the summer ♪ ♪ been hiding had to wait for so long and it's the subtleties you've only ever seen ♪ ♪ bringing the mess of me back together you feel like brooklyn in the summer ♪ ♪ been stumbling half awake for
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so long gotta forget that feeling give into something real ♪ ♪ i've got i've gotta let you go gotta let you go this morning i walked ♪ ♪ to the train just like you did every day everyone else is the same i wonder ♪ ♪ if you're the same and do you lay your head in someone else's bed to help you bury it ♪ ♪ just like you always did and now you're in all of my words only way i can return ♪ ♪ memories fade in reverse but you will always be heard wherever i can sing you'll be right ♪ ♪ there with me the notes and melodies that only i can see you feel like brooklyn ♪ ♪ in the summer been hiding had to wait for so long and it's the
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subtleties ♪ ♪ you've only ever seen bringing the mess of me back together you feel like ♪ ♪ brooklyn in the summer been stumbling half awake for so long gotta forget that feeling ♪ ♪ give into something real i've got i've gotta let you go but maybe ♪ ♪ i'm not really ready to give up you 'cause nobody ever mattered to me like you do ♪ ♪ 'cause you're so up here i caught that feeling and touch the ceiling ooh i wish i could describe it ♪ ♪ with words just ain't enough and nothing that i could say would ever measure up ♪ ♪ but what i can't stand is you're outta my hands and up outta your plans ooh you feel
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like brooklyn ♪ ♪ in the summer been hiding had to wait for so long and it's the subtleties ♪ ♪ you've only ever seen bringing the mess of me back together you feel like brooklyn ♪ ♪ in the summer been stumbling half awake for so long gotta forget that feeling ♪ ♪ give into something real i've got i've gotta let you go ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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sheriff can you hear me? >> tonight, inside an attack. >> breathe, breathe. stay with me, pauley, stay with me. >> deputies called to a domestic dispute -- >> sheriff's office! >> met with an ar-15 ambush. all caught on officer body cam. >> cover me! >> i look to my left, i see zach's down. my first thought is, my friend's down, i need to go get him. >> the split-second decision. >> i'm hit! >> the bravery. >> we have one deputy down inside the apartment. all of us have been hit at least once. >> i geared up and going to try to make another attempt to get zach out. >> i need fire up here now! >> and the
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