we appreciate your time. >> for all of us, thank you for joining us. on jimmy kimmel live, kathy griffin. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- kathy griffin. medium jim jefferies. this week in unnecessary censorship. and music from vance joy. and now, i'm almost certain, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. hi. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching at home. thank you for coming to work. that's very nice. thank you for joining us. on what is a day of, much

celebration, and even frustration here in hollywood. it is emmy nomination day here to day. one of our most self-important days of the year, emmy nominations as you know honor exllence in television. they were announced this morning. proud to say our show was nominated for 46 emmys today. [ cheers and applause ] all right. not really, but thank you for believing me. we were nominated for two. [ cheers and applause ] well, netflix, led everyone with 112 nominations. which seems like a lot, 112 nominations, remember, netflix has more than 2,000 shows. what's impressive, abc got 31 nominations with almost no popular shows weec, we have one canceled it. game of thrones got the most nominations of any individual program. 22 including outstanding drama.

there were some surprises this year too. so, most notably this nomination for best actor in a comedy series. >> i'm a very stable genius. >> jimmy: that's right, our president, at nato today. describing himself once again as a genius, a very stable genius. the jean just pagenius aside, w themselves as stable. the stable is the word the doctor uses after a car accident. he's stable, okay. trump was a real nato tornado today. this is from his press conference. this morning. that clip, but this press conference he wasn't supposed to have for whatever reason he wound up talking to international reporters for 35 minutes. fielding questions with the deft touch of a giant orange traffic cone. >> yeah, go ahead. go. go. go ahead. >> i'm sorry. >> yeah, you really did. come on. go ahead. >> i had a question. nonetheless, i'll ask, sir.

>> ago head. yes, go ahead. go ahead. go ahead. go ahead. >> jimmy: and then the trumps flew off to england for talks with teresa may. trump has a lot of work to do in england. one on the list he is demanding the english give us a better deal on their muffins. and no more fork split. trump was greeted by protests before his dinner with the prime minister. tomorrow, scheduled to have tea with queen elizabeth. president trump has been preparing, listening to bohemian rhapsody for weeks now and knows all the word. meanwhile, back at home. stormy daniels, remember, stormy daniels the president's $130,000 friend. stormy daniels had a brush with the law last night. arrested at a strib club in columbus. that's not the trstrip club, that's the police station, arrested allegedly touched the customer undercover police officer. under ohio state law an employee who appears nude or seminude is

prohibited from touching patrons on the premesis of a sexually oriented business unless it its a family member. that's law. and just like that state of ohio, shoots past florida in the race for creepiest state. [ cheers and applause ] why the police were even in the club is suspicious. there were three undercover cops present for the performance. according to the come planlt. stormy put both her hands on a female officer's butt and breasts and then pulled the officers face between her breasts at which point the officer said -- but she persisted. stormy's lawyer, said it was a setup. i have to say it does seem suspicious. that there are police there to arrest a stripper in a strip club for stripping. but whatever side of this you are on. one thing you have to add is that stormy daniels really takes a nice mug shot.

she will be autographing these in biloxi next weekend. the charges against her were dropped. meanwhile in other sexy government news, this was, what a day it was on capitol hill. fbi agent had his turn in the hot seat, peter strzuk is the guy republicans are trying to use as proof of an fbi conspiracy against donald trump, strzuk was on robert mueller's investigation team. and mueller found out strzuk in 2016 during the election, ex-changed anti-trump texts with his girlfriend, fbi lawyer at the time. he removed him from the investigation. are you following, guillermo? >> guillermo: a little bit. >> jimmy: recap. tell me what you understood there? >> guillermo: the republicans are trying to use him against donald trump. >> jimmy: very good. that's good. [ applause ] he had texts with this woman,

lisa paige, while these are some of his texts that are in question. >> in front of you you have one sheelt sheet of paper presented to you a few minutes age i am going to go to a date then ask you to read your own words. march 4, 2016. >> you want me to read this? >> yes, please. >> omg, he's an idiot. >> may 4, 2016. >> now the pressure really starts to finish nye. >> july 19, 2016. >> hi, how was trump other than a douche? >> jimmy: texts. [ applause ] >> jimmy: so he says the texts were his personal opinions. the bozos in the house, collection of clowns. when you see some speak, shocking they desperately want to use this to discredit the investigation, in particular this buckethead from texas, louis gomert, decided to focus

on the fact that he was married and having an affair with lisa paige at the time. off a i can't help wonder when i see you looking with a little smirk, how many times did you look so innocent into your wife's eye and lie to her about lisa -- >> mr. chairman, this is outrageous. >> the credibility of a witness is always an issue. >> please -- >> mr. chairman, this haze rasment of tra harassment. >> i am the last place in the [ bleep ] world you ever want to [ bleep ] with! >> i was rooting for you. we were all rooting for you. how dare you. >> [ bleep ], you, [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: you can see tensions were high. in other white house news, the president reportedly wants to do some renovations on "air force one" his plane to make it "more american." he wants to redesign the color scheme and redo the interior of the plane.

is he the president or one of the "queer eye" guys? what's going on. also he wants to make the presidential bed on "air force one" larger presumably so he can fit more buckets of fried chicken in it. this is of what the plane is expected to look like under trump. and i like it. it has an understated charm. all right. it is thursday night. that means time to bleep and blur the big tv moments of the week. time for "this week in unnus scary censorship." [ applause ] >> tonight, it is my honor and privilege to announce that i will [ bleep ] judge brett kavanaugh. >> a judge [ bleep ] and [ bleep ]. the reason that [ bleep ], because they shed their personal preferences and their prejudices and predispositions. >> it is interesting, i got to go meet lebron to [ bleep ] his [ bleep ]. >> what does the trump administration have against [ bleep ]?

why doesn't the president just [ bleep ] robert muller? >> i'm super impressed, really knows how to work that [ bleep ]. >> they're expected to survive. >> holy [ bleep ] is right. kris van kleve, thank you. >> it will be hot, hume it and feel like wet [ bleep ] breath. >> the ufc champion, i never thought i would [ bleep ], but, broch, get your -- in here. >> it is trippier now, [ bleep ], doesn't look good. >> jeremy -- >> [ bleep ] chair. >> you got it. $3,000. >> yeah, well i got news for you [ bleep ] is not hard to do, go ahead and give it a try. say to yourself, well what would i like? if i was the other guy? huh? >> wow. [ applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> surprising from oscar. we're going to take a break. when we come back from the break, it was a day of reckoning on twitter today. in honor of the president's trip

overseas, we asked people on the street to name a country on a map. any country. and we'll show you how that went next. [ applause ] [ applause ] is this at&t innovations? yeah, wow..this must be for one of our new unlimited wireless plans. it comes with a ton of entertainment options. great, can you sign for this? yeah. [ cheers and applause ] and we'll show you how that went

...you discover paint bleed you under your tape...... not with frogtape! frogtape is the only painter's tape treated with patented paintblock technology. paintblock reacts with the water in latex paint to form a micro-barrier against paint bleed, giving you the sharpest lines possible. get professional results with frogtape... no messy lines, no paint bleed. for sharp lines every time, frog it! >> jimmy: nicely done. welcome back, kathy griffin, vance joy. today those on twitter know, mark the company's much

anticipated crackdown on fake accounts. twitter today deleted millions of phony accounts. bo bots and whatnot. as a result. justin bieber lost 2 million followers. president obama lost 2.3 million. even i lost 200,000 followers today include might dad turned out he was a russian bot. in't know, you know. i don't know if i like this. they take our fake followers away, how are we supposed to go about having a fake sense of self? all right, now time for something, i don't know if this will be educational. but, the president is overseas. visiting belgium, england, scotland, and then his pal putin in finland. a big trip with many important ramifications. it is imperative that america has strong relationships with. and knowledge about people in other lands. and that responsibility extend to all of us. not just the president. so we cam up with a test. the test is very simple.

when on the street, we asked people passing by, to name a country on a map. that's it. a map. we said name a country. any country. and here's how that went. ♪ >> can you name any country on this map? >> honestly my geography is so horrible. i can't name anything. like nothing. >> fry to name something. >> is this south africa? >> no. >> country of asia. >> that's a continent. that's russia. >> damn. i'm silly. >> that's okay. >> it's been a while since i've been in school. >> it's okay. any country on the map. >> africa. >> continent. >> country. >> a country in africa? >> i know south africa is over here somewhere. >> no, it's down. >> of south. >> oops. >> can you name any country on this map? >> yeah.

>> africa. >> that's a continent. >> oh, god. >> can you name any countries in africa. >> god, who knows stuff like that. >> can you name any country on this map? >> yes. >> africa. >> that is a continent. >> oh, country. >> iceland or something. >> that's alaska. >> um. >> any country. >> i don't know. >> on the entire map. >> oh. >> this is so horrible. >> where is america. >> i would say the big one. i am probably wrong. >> can you name any country ton this map? >> oh, my gosh. >> shouldn't i be taught this in school. >> i would hope so. >> south america. >> a continent. >> oh, my god. >> country in south america. >> yeah. honduras is --

here. here. here. here. some where here. >> no. >> can you nachl ame any countr europe? >> is this one europe? >> no. >> no. >> can you name a single country in africa? >> this is africa? >> no, again, south america. >> no idea. >> can you name a country in south america. >> this is south america. >> yes, can you name a country in it? >> no, i can't. >> did you go to high school? >> yes. >> did you go to college? >> yeah, that's the sad part. >> argentina, chile, brazil, peru, colombia, venezuela, mexico, the united states, canada. greenland, iceland, australia, new zealand, papau new guinea. >> jimmy: oh, thank god.

well, if you didn't believe that children are our future before now you do. well done, everybody. >> jimmy: tonight on the show, music from vance joy. jim jefferies is here, and we'll be right back with kathy griffin. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by the men's wearhouse suit drive.

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>> jimmy: how about that. >> jimmy: that's leo nocentelli sitting in with the cletones. leo and his fellow members of the meters are getting a lifetime achievement award from the grammys this weekend. and you can see leo live here in l.a., tomorrow night at the mint. that sounds great. thank you for being here, leo. >> jimmy: later tonight, a very funny guy. he is from australia. his new netflix special is called "this is me now" and he is host of the "jim jefferies show" on comedy central. jim jefferies is here. then, another talented aussie, this is his album --

called "nation of two," vance joy from the mercedes-benz outdoor stage. >> jimmy: next week, we have new shows with jason sudeikis, jonah hill, magic johnson, jim gaffigan, danica patrick, bo burnham, lakeith stanfield, antonio brown, plus music from jim james, michael ray, lil' baby, and imagine dragons. please join us for all of that. >> jimmy: our first guest is an emmy and grammy-winning person, and maybe our only guest ever to be investigated by the department of justice. the "kathy griffin: laugh your head off world tour" is coming to hollywood next thursday and friday across the street at dolby theater. please say hello to kathy griffin.

>> look at you. >> look at this. >> you emerged from your cocoon like a butterfly. >> i'm back, baby. i'm back. they're not going to hold me down. they're not going to hold stormy down. none of us. we're fighting back. >> jimmy: that is your friend now, stormy daniels. >> oh, yes. >> jimmy: how did this happen? >> first, i melt her. stormy daniels came to me on my all mold sold out, world tour, "kathy griffin: laugh your head off world tour." she came to see me in boston. i snuck her in. there are safety issues. we hit it off. when we met, hi, thelma, loui self. i said let's take a [ bleep ] now. we have become friends, obviously. and you know god love her. last night after the arrest, we have been chatting abut that. >> jimmy: you did, called her? >> she sent me a picture of herself on the way to go give the tips from last night the two girls, pregs epressed charges.

got a double in west virginia, double saturday. back on the pole, baby. back on the poem. back on the pole. i'm become to telling my [ bleep ] jokes. everything is back to normal. >> jimmy: i knew things would settle down eventually. >> it's great. i am so grateful. the picture that, was supposed to take me down ended up being the photo that lets me tour like the world. >> jimmy: made you a new friend in stormy daniels. >> okay, first i set a record. i do things like that as a comedienne for the young female comediennes of the future. i played radio city two mondays ago and carnegie hall the next night. come on, radio city and carnegie hall. come on. >> jimmy: radio city and carnegie hall. >> radio city monday. carnegie hall tuesday. >> never done that before? >> nope. >> that's premarkable. >> that's right. after carnegie hall, i actually, i was going to say hooked up with stormy. but that is a different field.

it's a field which she excels in she excels in her field. >> jimmy: not your chosen field. >> my field is, we both enjoy the [ bleep ], i bliek tlike th. she does so many things with it. lot of different activities. i actually picked her up at her hotel. and to carnegie hall. came to my hotel. up talking like school girls for three hours. >> jimmy: you are friends? >> we are hitting it off. i do have to tease her about. she had consensual sex with the orange idiot. >> jimmy: what? >> yes. my theory is, being like a porn girl she was just like, this will take five minutes. just get it over with. but every time i would tease her about his actual man parts, she would just so, ew. >> jimmy: really? >> of course we get along. >> i tried to get that information out of her, she declined to answer. we have three carrots, varying sizes asked her to pick one. >> i think it would be a rotten

carrot, with maybe some spots or growths on it. just saying, guessing. guessing. it's not my field. not my field. although because we have been getting along, i actually had an idea. i want to tell you something you don't know. i am going to try not to cry. a crazy year. but i want you to know that james kimmel, one of the few, hollywood people that called me that day, and was like hang in there, you will be okay. and like, had my back. >> jimmy: good. good. of course, i love you. >> you are wonderful. >> jimmy: i'm glad you are back. what about your mom? was your mom supportive throughout this? >> no. my mom threw me under the bus. i am not sticking with you for this one, kathleen. this is, this is the limit. now that is enough. i was watching my sean hannity, he says you are an in isis, i thought out of all of the clubs you could join, why would you join -- my mother.

my mother. >> jimmy: your mother is here tonight. >> turncoat. turncoat. there she is. >> maggie. there she is. >> jimmy: ha-ha. >> now she is blowing the kiss, the ka rai camera is on her. >> jimmy: is this true you were on the sean hannity side of the deal. >> she doesn't hear me at all. >> she told me she believed the boyfriend, sean hannity. >> you know what, you -- i swear to god. >> it's not about you for once. i swear to god. 98 years young. 98 years young. >> i'm so, is there a professional i can give this to. i'm sorry, sir. sorry, sorry. >> jimmy: we have been into a family feud here with the griffin family. we will take a break. take a break. figure this all out. kathy griffin is here. on tour. the kathy griffin laugh your

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kathy griffin, jim jeffreys, vance joy are on their way. kathy is here. we just had a nice chat with your mom. >> yes, i actually have a surprise for you. >> jimmy: you do? >> i do, the kimmels have been wonderful to me and my family. i got a note from aunt chippy. >> jimmy: my aunt chippy. >> aunt chippy is famous in her own right. >> jimmy: may i examine it. >> read it. hand it to you. several munlonth as the gone. kathy, happy, new year. new year's eve was not the same without you. so i shut it off. wishing you all the best, aunt chippy. she shut it off. shut it off. >> jimmy: that was nice. tempted to read her home address live. >> feel free to read her home address. >> jimmy: shouldn't you and stormy daniels do new year's eve. >> aunt chippy. >> thought kathy griffin, stormy daniels, live new year's eve. networks, call us.

love to do it. joy i love the idea. >> right, obviously a very bright girl. who knows, pay-per-view, maybe she does 10 minutes on the pole. i do, we take questions. i am telling you, i think we are on to something. >> jimmy: no way you will embarrass her. >> can't embarrass her, can't embarrass me. new year's. >> jimmy: great spot, las vegas. from aunt chippy's living room. live from aunt chippy's living room. >> saves money buying a studio. that's right. right. right. lot of security. fine. >> jimmy: you are on tour. been all over the world. right? >> i started out the tour in new zealand when i was nl abn't abl work. 15 countries. 23 cities. reykjavik, canada, five cities there, started american tour in san francisco. and, been selling out. and audiences have been fantastic. i've couldn't be more grateful and surprised and relieved and thankful. and i am just happy to be back here and touring. i do have to be honest, i am a little triggered seeing my mother here now. not going to physically slap her

in the face. but i do like, i don't mean to act like i am the real star. basically i have become joan crawford, she is christina. who i thought was my good friend, gloria estefan actually opened the on your feet, broadway hilt here in los angeles. at the theater two months ago. invited my mother as her special guest. then remembered to invite me like two weeks later. >> jimmy: interesting. >> yeah. so, maggie walked the red carpet. and gloria estefan, her big night. stops to take a picture with maggie. maggie is yelling at global sensation, gloria, going, hold me up. hold me up. i could fall. i could break a hip. like that. and she made a tape which of course, i put on my instagram. may, may not know about. she is getting ready for the night. she goes i'm going to ee a show called "on your toes" it's filled with latin people and they dance. and they get real latin. and she goes, i'm the guest of

gloria, and emelio stephen. >> jimmy: she doesn't really know their names. >> not only that. i like, bs my way in to sit next to the real star my mother. then other celebrities start lining up for pictures with maggie. so i'm taking pictures of my mother and michael bolton. yeah. and, the best part is, she, i said, mom this is michael bolton a famous singer. she goes are you like sinatra. no, not even close. because, you know bolton takes a joke. michael bolton, ever since the mullet he can take a joke. she goes, i wanted to meet frank sinatra. i'm like, okay, crazy, he is dead. bolton goes can i get a picture with her. wait in line. steve yeef wondie wonder is nex. stevie wonder walks by. all i could do. that would have been a moment with her not knowing stevie wonder. he is saying take a good look at

her. i did it. i am sensitive. sensitive, nurturer, caretaker. one pinltoint, sort of cute, fu. one point maggie was taking so many freaking fan photos. michael bolton waited. bolton what do you want you got your big picture. when you show it to your mom, later, will you teller i'm the guy that sings "when a man loves a woman." >> get out of here. he gave me a kiss on the cheek. we are fine. >> poor michael bolton. >> kathy griffin, everybody. see kathy griffin live, the laugh your head off world tour is coming to you. we'll be right back with jim jefferies. why shop marshalls? (engine revving) because shopping should thrill you. (horn honking) with big brands at small prices. mwah! (laughing) for the whole family!

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ah! skyscraper. rated pg-13. >> jimmy: welcome back. still to come vance joy. >> jimmy: our next guest is a very talented medium from australia whom president trump would probably like to send back. he's got his own show on comedy

central and a new special for netflix called "this is me now." please say hello to jim jefferies. >> this is exciting. the show is a lot different from last night. >> jimmy: what happened last night. >> you didn't pick on 98-year-old women as much. very good, you should have her on the show more often. probably in the next year or so. don't leave it too long. also, you have changed the dressing room used to have cupcakes. since you have gotten thin, it's hummus and vegetables. get fat again. give me cupcakes. >> jimmy: we do have cupcakes. we do have cupcake today. >> probably kathy griffin any mother took them. >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> i'm all right.

congratulations on your emmy nod. >> jimmy: thank you. >> i was in the same category. >> jimmy: yeah. >> i was in the same category. didn't get in. did you vote for yourself? >> jimmy: of course. >> i didn't vote for myself. maybe it was one vote. maybe that's how close i was. >> jimmy: you are, the show is going well. how long has it been on the air now? >> in season two. up to episode 34 or something. what episode are you up to? >> jimmy: in the late 1,000s. >> yeah. >> jimmy: how long have you been in the united states? >> i have been in america now nine years. i am still getting adjusted. >> jimmy: are you really? don't feel like you have acclimated? >> look, look always going to live in america, i have an american child. there are things i will never take on. things i don't know. i a still not sure which one is a nickel and which one is a dime. right? like i, i don't know what, how, how much they're worth each. i don't know which coin is which. and i look, i don't want to act like a rich [ bleep ]. i go just keep them at the gas station. keep them. i don't know which it is.

it's gotten so long now that i can't ask anyone. it's like, like, you probably got employees you don't know the name of. hey, fellow. you've been working for the guy for five years. i can't ask now. it's too late. but i know, i know what the little tiny brown coin its. >> jimmy: a penny. >> a penny. that's one. what is it with you americans, penny, dime, the other one? >> jimmy: nick m. >> just call them, one, 1, 4, 7, whatever they are. i know the quarter. because they came in useful when i first moved here. dave and busters still took a quarter. >> jimmy: you spent time at dave and busters. >> i love dave and busters. >> jimmy: did not know that about you? >> why would you? >> jimmy: there is a number on the coins. like there is a 5 on the nickel. >> you can read it. >> jimmy: indicates 5 cents. >> what's the use of those things. dollar bill. just. >> jimmy: feel like it is a passive aggressive protest against united states. >> america has everything.

people don't use the metric system. >> jimmy: we don't. >> which is stupid. like you should work in celsius. freezing point is 0. boiling point is 100. makes sense. >> jimmy: it does make sense. >> your number its freezes at 27.6. i don't know. right. it is ridiculous. whatever you are doing. the putting the month first. the month, the day, and then the year. shouldn't do that. should be the day first. then, should be the smallest amount. the medium amount. and then the largest amount. because the the day its the most important thing. when some one asks you the date. you don't go, july -- >> jimmy: right. >> right? right. you should be the most important bit first. right, so today is the 12th. i don't bother doing it. i still stick to me guns. i thought i was coming here in december. i'm sure. i'm sure i have ruined many contracts in my career.

probably lost them. >> jimmy: when you do the immigration forms going in. i always get confused. you might be right about this too. you can really help us here. what did you do before you were a comedian? >> i don't have any other skills really. so, the comedy thing is over, i saw my little friend for a while. when i was a kid my parents were very into, you have to have a job as a child. in australia, mcdonald's can employ you at 14. >> jimmy: 16 here. >> i was working with vats of oil. 14. australia doesn't give a [ bleep ]. they just, they just, right. and so, i worked there from 14 until almost 18. which would be 17. and, and a whatever it was. i learned very quickly that if you just don't try very hard, no one will promote you. it's not like mcdonald's would give you more money if you did well. you get more responsibilities. so they start you off on the filet of fish station. i nailed it.

no one can make filet of fish better than me. i would stay in the little section. every now and again they would go, jim, why don't you have a go at the big macs, can i swear. what i do is i [ bleep ] up. they would never let me do a big mac again. they would be move him back to filet of fish. now my whole world came crumbling down when they introduced the chicken mcnugget. that became the same station as filet of fish. it quadrupled my work. >> jimmy: wow. yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. yeah. >> they're very popular. i hear they still are and they use chicken now. [ applause ] but i always like the vats. because the it was an arcane system. girls only allowed to work the counters. the boys worked in the kitchen. joy really? >> if you work at the counter at mcdonald's you have to do the fries. girls had to do the fries. i was always next to the other 14-year-old girls.

making me filet of fish. i made that one special. i didn't get anything. but a lot of dreams. anyway. so, the fries at mcdonald's, a sense, make the golden arches do it properly. you have to go that. so there is the right amount of salt or asbestos or whatever they put in the thing. that's probably why the burger kings one are so bad. because the -- the wendy's one. chucking it in the air. so, i didn't, i got fired. >> jimmy: you did? >> the boss who i used to think was like, like an 80-year-old man. he was probably 27. he wanted to fire me the whole time. >> jimmy: why did he fire you? >> i stole a nugget. i, i, had a nugget in me mouth. he goes, what's in your mouth. i've went, nothing, not a nugget. he goes, i've got you.

i've caught you, you are fired. i grabbed a hand full of nuggets in my mouth, few more in my pockets. gave him the finger and got out of there. >> jimmy: load up on nuggets. get the hell out. >> the mcdonald's is still there. go to viz migvisit my parents. he is a picky eater, [ bleep ], picky eater. they're the worst. parents fry to act like, it's the child that's the picky eater. and it's not their fault. like my child is such a picky. if, you are a parent and-up have a child that is a picky eater it is completely your fault. right. it's completely your fault. i have been to asia, seen like a kid eating a chicken's ed like an apple. right? i've seen that in an alley way. and the mother is not like, oh, he only eelats chicken heads. that's haul he wants. he won't touch anything else. he is strictly, chicken heads and mac and cheese.

anyway, so i had to go back to mcdonald's, my kid liked chicken nuggets. my kid's favorite chicken nuggets are chick-fil-a. now you know we live in l.a. you, know how it is. you are not meant to sort of eat at chick-fil-a. a thing, because they give a lot of money to anti-gay groups, try to stop gay marriage, pray the gay away camps kind of stuff. my kid's favorite chicken. so, so i eat chick-fil-a as well. and i got to tell you, jeez it is good chicken. i know. i know. i want to support the gays as much as possible. but until they can make a comparative chicken. so, anyway. >> jimmy: listen, a challenge. hopefully they will accept it. >> put it out there. >> jimmy: you are funny. the netflix special, by the way, comes out right now. just released on netf lichlt.

midnight. and "this is me now" on netflix. we will be right back with vance joy. [ applause ] ♪ ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. ...you discover paint bleed you under your tape...... not with frogtape! frogtape is the only painter's tape treated with patented paintblock technology. paintblock reacts with the water in latex paint to form a micro-barrier against paint bleed, giving you the sharpest lines possible. get professional results with frogtape... no messy lines, no paint bleed. for sharp lines every time, frog it!

are you two getting along? oh, yeah, yeah. [ hiss ] [ gasps ] [ birds chirping] ♪ no matter what you are they're a perfect match. the new ipad and xfinity stream app. hey guys, i'm home! surprise! i got a puppy. add an ipad to select packages for just $5 a month for 24 months. upgrade online now.

>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: thanks for watching a >> jimmy: i want to thank kathy griffin and jim jefferies. apologies to matt damon, we ran out of time. this is his album "know." this is his album "nation of two" here with the song "saturday sun," vance joy! ♪ ♪ oh, saturday sun i met someone out on the west coast ♪ ♪ i gotta get back i can't let this go ♪ ♪ oh, saturday sun i met someone don't care what it costs ♪ ♪ no ray of sunlight's ever lost ♪ ♪ so tired of

sleepin' alone so tired of eatin' alone ♪ ♪ i need to ask her what's goin' on are we goin' strong ♪ ♪ she felt like resting her head my shoulder was the perfect height ♪ ♪ we fit so right so what's goin' on 'cause i've been undone ♪ ♪ the long drive the coastline lookin' out at first light ♪ ♪ am i still on her mind i've been undone ♪ ♪ oh, saturday sun i met someone out on the west coast ♪ ♪ i gotta get back i can't let this go ♪ ♪ oh, saturday sun i met someone don't care what it costs ♪ ♪ no ray of sunlight's ever lost ever lost ♪ ♪ ba-ba ba-ba

ba-ba ba-b-ba-ba ♪ ♪ ba-ba ba-ba ba-ba ba-b-ba-ba ♪ ♪ and still the memory's right there she put the breeze in my hair ♪ ♪ no kiss was softer softer than this i'm readin' her lips oh ♪ ♪ each line i read she left her books in my bed ♪ ♪ and her song in my head i've been undone ♪ ♪ oh, saturday sun i met someone out on the west coast ♪ ♪ i gotta get back i can't let this go ♪ ♪ oh, saturday sun i met someone don't care what it costs ♪ ♪ no ray of sunlight's ever lost ever lost ♪ ♪ ba-ba

ba-ba ba-ba ba-b-ba-ba ♪ ♪ ba-ba ba-ba ba-ba ba-b-ba-ba ♪ ♪ ever lost ba-ba ba-b-ba-ba ♪ ♪ ever lost ba-ba ba-b-ba-ba ♪ ♪ oh, saturday sun i met someone out on the west coast ♪ ♪ i gotta get back i can't let this go ♪ ♪ oh, saturday sun i met someone don't care what it costs ♪ ♪ no ray of sunlight's ever lost ba-ba ba-b-ba-ba ♪ ♪ oh, saturday sun ba-ba ba-b-ba-ba lost ♪ ♪ oh, saturday sun i met someone ♪ ♪ oh, saturday sun ba-ba ba-b-ba-ba ♪ ♪ ba-ba ba-ba ba-ba ba-b-ba-ba ♪ ♪ ♪

this is "nightline." >> tonight, bulletproof fashion? >> as you can see my husband just shot me. >> beginning as protection in dangerous countries flying off the shelf in america. >> we have a lot of realtors. >> suits, shirts, purses, children's backpacks in styles that camouflage with your everyday life. >> it's fashion, but fashion with protection. >> is this a fashion trend? or part of a grim new reality? >> plus survival of the slickest. teasing, tempting, stealing, love away. >> a little bit like romantic musical chairs. >> the