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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  September 3, 2018 11:35pm-12:37am PDT

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>> that's it for tonight. for all of us, thanks for joining us. good night. >> dicky: from hollywood it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- adam carolla, from "the spy who dumped me" sam heughan, and music from the interrupters. and now, for good measure, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: very nice, thanks. hi, hello. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks to all of you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] oh, that's very nice. we have so much to get to. a veritable cornucopia of crazy. all stirred up by our celebrity president, whose voice we heard
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on tuesday night instructing his former lawyer to pay off a playboy playmate. now today we learn there are more tapes to be heard and shared with friends. investigators reportedly have more than 100 audio recordings of michael cohen chatting with and about donald trump. apparently cohen would record these calls and meetings on his iphone instead of taking notes because it was easier than taking notes to record. [ laughter ] i'm starting to think maybe trump doesn't hire all the best people. [ laughter ] that's the conclusion. turns out the only person in the world who uses the voice memo app on his iphone is using it to tape the president of the united states. [ cheers and applause ] and by the way -- you know who was really annoyed about this? russia. they're like, why are we putting so much work into spying on these americans when they seem to be doing it to themselves all the time? [ laughter ] stormy daniels's lawyer, michael avenotti, had an interesting
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take on this. he tweeted today, "breaking, donald trump conspired with michael cohen to pay off multiple other women prior to election day in 2016, they were also concerned about a pregnancy." oh, that's great. just what we need, another trump out there lurking. planning to run in 2048. [ laughter ] after that tape the other day, the president is reportedly worried that these new revelations of infidelity could affect his marriage. can you imagine? imagine if melania leaves donald trump while he's in office. what if he has to give her the white house in the divorce settlement? [ laughter ] how would that work? if they did split up, you know if they split up he wouldn't just lay low. he'd be out there dating. he'd be like, you know what? think i might need to make a state visit to sweden, smooth a few things out over there. of course trump is angry with michael cohen. michael cohen specifically assured him those calls were being recorded for quality assurance. [ laughter ] and now trump's advisers are
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reportedly now considering whether they should release tapes they claim are unflattering for michael cohen. i'd say i think that's a great idea. that seems like a win-win for everyone. please release them. release all -- in fact, all of michael cohen's secret trump recordings can now be yours for a low, low price if you pay attention to this special offer. >> do you love to hear our president incriminating himself on tape? >> what financing? >> we'll have to pay him something. >> pay with cash. >> no, no, no, no -- >> now you can enjo trump's most private indiscretions for hours on end. tiny fingers records presents "trump on tape: the complete collection" featuring more than 100 all-new recordings of the president admitting to stuff. unforgettable moments like "she said she was on the pill." "coke me!" "i know a guy." "she looked 18." "that's why there's a prenup." "where theell is my coke?" not mattress." and so many more. act now and you'll receive xwus
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tap tapes featuring classic hits like "grab 'em by the [ bleep ]." "i just start kissing." "moved on her like a bitch." >> i moved on her like a bitch. >> trump on tape, the complete collection. order today in three easy installments of just $19.99. "trump on tape." available at walgreens. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: where i get all my recorded material, walgreens. and this probably isn't going to help trump's case either. according to the "new york times," robert mueller is now looking at trump's twitter feed as part of his investigation into whether the president obstructed justice. robert mueller is, i looked it up, is not personally on twitter. imagine him reading all this stuff for the first time. he's probably like, wait, no one else arrested this idiot yet? what is going on? but wouldn't it be beautiful if what finally takes donald trump down is twitter, his achilles' thumb, twitter. [ cheers and applause ] twitter may be taken away.
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meanwhile, tonight was the deadline for the government to reunite the immigrant families they've been separating at the border. unfortunately, they've already deported a lot of the parents without their kids as part of trump's many children left behind program. one in three children still haven't been reunited with their parents. on top of everything else they've got going on, the trump administration has been handing out trophy permits, many of them to republican donors who want to shoot a lion. how do they even find like the time to do more horrible stuff? i mean, this guy spends all day dealing with the mueller investigation, the cohen tapes, russia, north korea. somehow he finds time to say let's get back to letting rich guys shoot lions in the face. this is interesting. someone gave us -- my wife and i a book for my son, our son billy. it's called "roar, roar." it's one of those books where you lift up the flaps to see what the animals say. so i noticed something odd about it. it starts out fine.
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it starts out with the ostrich says who's behind the bush? it's a friendly lion. roar, roar. who's that among the reeds? happy hippo, snort snort. you get the idea, right? it has all the sounds. but when you get to the end the gazelle says, who's behind the rock? and then it says, it's a happy elephant, trump trump. [ laughter ] is the sound effect the elephants make. that's -- i don't know. if there are two trumps in the area this elephant better get the hell out of there. [ laughter ] probably eric and donald jr. with their guns. anyway, unfortunately we don't know what happens after trump trump in the book because that's the end. it ends with a cliffhanger. i have to say, when i read a children's book, i need closure. so we added one more page to the book. and it goes like this. who's that above the fireplace? and then you can see it's the friendly lion, the tall giraffe, the happy hippo, the hungry
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crocodile, and the happy elephant. so they all die happily ever after. [ moans and applause ] hold on. let me explain something, we didn't actually kill the animals. [ laughter ] this is a cartoon. any of you planning to see the new "mission: impossible" this weekend? [ cheers and applause ] this is a good one. it's widely expected to be number one at the box office. so we immediately called our in-house movie critic yehya. yehya loves movies and stars, mostly the stars, sometimes the movies. with that said, here is yahya talking about "mission impossible: fallout." >> action! hi, it's me, yehya! i'm talking about the movie "mission impossible." i don't know, 7, 8, something. the movie behind me -- uh -- the
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movie is called -- "fluto." "mission impossible 7:fluto." they have action, fire. they have a jump-a from the building. tom cruise is the one, the main guy in the movie. i remember he marry nicole kidman. he marry vanilla cruz. and he marry the lady, cat something, cat hudson, something, i don't know, i forget her name. the guy with the moustache, harney superman, he's the bad guy of the movie. and the other guy, the black guy with the head, his name is steve something, i forget his name. and the guy -- i'm not in the ocean, i'm in the air. you know, alec balldon, he's the president that movie. the lady, the lady like cia, angely bat or olivia something. the first movie tom cruise he drive in the plane, you know.
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he's in the movie also "drakla." he's in the movie to make a dark hole, in the club, in the bar, everywhere. in the movie also with dustin hoffman his name ray, he's not smart and he play card like vegas. he's with jack nicholson. the movie is called "few good guys." the one guy say, i want the true. that's our guy, you couldn't handle the true. now he do like "mission impossible." [ belching ] sorry. ♪ the movie, good movie. go watch-a the movie, good luck, action! cut! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, yehya. we're going to take a break. when we come back, we will play one of our dumbest games. guillermo is up on the roof right now. he is going to drop prizes onto pedestrians in a special summer edition of "you catch it, you keep it." we'll be right back.
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[ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: abc's "jimmy kimmel live," brought to you by rocket mortgage by quicken loans. what?! he's gonna slap some clips in your hair, give you a bob and then he's gonna move to boca raton. but you're gonna look amazing. ok. there are multiples on the table: one is cash, three are fha, one is va. so what can you do? she's saying a whole lotta people want to buy this house. but you got this! rocket mortgage by quicken loans makes the complex simple. understand the details and get approved in as few as eight minutes by america's largest mortgage lender. do nthanks grandma. why don't you fetch me some doritos. (whoosh - dog barks) fetch me a bare na... (whoosh and dog bark) (bear growl / scream) crunch
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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. see, what i think happened is there was a misunderstanding. what happens in the end is the trump boys kill all the animals. apology accepted. [ laughter ] all right, there you go. we got a great show tonight. adam carolla, sam heughan, music from the interrupters still to come. [ applause ] first something very important to do. it's time to play "you catch it, you keep it." guillermo is stationed on our roof. how's the weather? >> guillermo: i want to tell you, you should pay me extra today. because i'm so close to the sun.
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>> jimmy: uh-huh. you look very rugged in that sleeveless jacket. you remind me of a young larry the cable guy. what is that, a safety harness? >> guillermo: yeah, jimmy. to prevent accidents. >> jimmy: yeah, i know what a safety harness is. ready to throw stuff off the roof? >> guillermo: i'm ready, let's do it. >> jimmy: guillermo is going to drop a prize from the roof onto the person down below. if the person catches that prize, they get to keep that prize. does it make sense? okay. let's go to the street where cousin sal is with our first -- hey, cousin sal. you got that stuff on too? >> sal: oh, yeah. >> jimmy: who do we have here? >> hi, hillary. >> jimmy: hi, no, my name's not -- never mind. your name is hillary? >> yes. >> jimmy: where are you from, hillary? >> indianapolis. >> jimmy: hillary, were you wearing that when you showed up today in hollywood? >> i have a better shirt on underneath this shirt. >> jimmy: hillary what do you do for a living? >> i'm a recruiter at aegis
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worldwide. >> jimmy: do you have any experience catching things? >> a little bit. >> jimmy: what, for instance? >> i played softball when i was younger. >> this is great, oh, perfect. we're going to turn the sound off, hillary, so you cannot hear what is about to come from the sky. let's go back up to guillermo who will now inform us -- [ laughter ] what is that you have there, guillermo? >> guillermo: i have a beach hat and a slurpee. >> jimmy: a what? >> guillermo: a beach hat and a slurpee. >> jimmy: all right, okay. so you are going to pour that. and then what happens when it gets there, when she gets it, she gets to keep the hat? >> guillermo: yes, jimmy. and $100 of gift card from in and out. >> jimmy: all right, okay. [ cheers and applause ] that's ruined now. let's find out if she's ready downstairs. yes, guillermo? >> guillermo: hold on, jimmy. last but not least, the most
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important thing. >> jimmy: all right. oh, it's a slipperita you're making there. be careful, you're on the roof. let's go back down. are you ready? >> i'm ready. >> jimmy: all right, here we go. guillermo? >> guillermo: three, two, one! >> jimmy: here it comes. oh my goodness, wow, that was right on target. you know what hillary, that was all your fault i have to say. let's look at the slow motion instant replay. oh, it just went right through your arms. but you know what? you can keep it anyway, all right, hillary? thank you for playing "you catch it, you keep it." [ applause ] yes, be careful, don't slip. all right, sal, who do we have there next? >> i'm kelly. >> jimmy: kelly, where are you from? >> fair hope, alabama. >> jimmy: are you here on vacation? >> a little softball tournament. >> jimmy: oh, perfect, wow, a lot of softball going on. are you in the softball tournament? >> no, my daughter is. got three athletes in the
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family. i'm not one of them. >> jimmy: you're not, oh. all right, maybe we should be having her play this game. all right, you know how the game works? >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> sal: psyched. >> jimmy: you seem excited, kelly. >> ready for it. played a little d-1 ball, i'm ready for this. >> jimmy: let's go back to the roof to guillermo. our next item is what, guillermo? >> guillermo: a cooler full of popsicles, jimmy. >> jimmy: a cooler full of popsicles, very good. anything good in there? >> guillermo: also we're going to add two tickets to disneyland. >> jimmy: oh, beautiful, all right. all right. that makes it better. >> guillermo: okay. >> jimmy: this one seems dangerous. but we're going to do it anyway. >> guillermo: all right. and also we got -- >> jimmy: no, you don't need tequila in it. all right. all right. that seems unnecessary, but let's do it anyway. guillermo, count it down. are you ready on the ground? >> oh, yeah, let's do this. >> jimmy: here we go. look to the sky. >> guillermo: three, two, one!
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>> jimmy: here it comes. oh my goodness! so very close to catching that. oh, the lid, maybe that would have counted if you'd caught that. let's take a look at the replay. oh, wow. all right, okay, yeah. all right, so we have a personal injury case on our hands now. how are you feeling? >> not bad. >> sal: your neck hurts. >> mostly embarrassed. >> jimmy: there you go. kelly, we're going to give you the tickets to disneyland anyway because none of this means anything, all right? [ cheers and applause ] bring somebody back in. there you go, there they are. slightly sticky but they should work anyway. what is your name? >> my name is ozzie, sir. >> jimmy: where are you from? >> i'm from fayetteville, north carolina. >> jimmy: welcome to "you catch it, you keep it." have you been watching? >> yes, sir. >> jimmyba? >> yes, sir, when i was younger. >> jimmy: perfect, all right, ozzie. you ready to do this? >> yes, sir. >> jimmy: let's go back to the roof, let's turn the sound down
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again. what do we have there, guillermo? >> guillermo: we have a baby doll with a pair of lebron nike shoes. >> jimmy: oh, i hope they're his size. >> guillermo: i think so, they're like 14, i think. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, that is the most common size. all right. our legal department wants me to remind you, do not do this with a real baby. are you ready to count it down, guillermo? >> guillermo: ready, jimmy. >> jimmy: are you ready on the ground? >> sal: we're switching gloves but we're ready. >> jimmy: switching gloves, all right. this will be fun for people across the street who don't know what's happening. all right. get ready down on the ground, guillermo. count it! >> guillermo: three, two, one! >> jimmy: here it comes. oh, wow, we're 0 for 3, how sad. you know what? you can again, as we did in the past, you are allowed to keep those, ozzie, anyway. there we go, all right. take those with you. i hope they fit. all right. is that it?
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>> sal: one more? >> jimmy: we're going to try one more? what's your name? >> ann marie. >> jimmy: where are you from? >> i'm from the land down under, australia. >> jimmy: oh, yes, i've heard of it, yes. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: welcome. >> thank you. >> jimmy: are you on vacation? >> yes. >> jimmy: oh, very good. all right. we're going to try to make this a notable vacation, and we're going to throw something off the roof for you to catch are you are you ready? >> ready. >> jimmy: all right, here we go. guillermo? >> guillermo: we have an ice cream sundae with a gift card from -- i don't know how to say the name -- chick-car-deli. >> jimmy: ghirardelli. it's right next door to us. >> guillermo: yes. >> jimmy: we've got an ice cream card in ice cream. >> guillermo: yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: all right, you've already eaten some of it, i see. all right. all right. all right, here we go, one more time. >> guillermo: ready? >> jimmy: ready on the ground? >> sal: you're not lactose intolerant, are you? >> jimmy: it will be great. okay, all right. hopefully you're not an
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alcoholic either. count it down, guillermo. >> guillermo: three, two, one! >> jimmy: i think that was impossible to catch. >> sal: she didn't get any, she somehow didn't get any. >> jimmy: really, you stayed pretty clean. it exploded pretty much on impact. oh my goodness. but we're going to -- you know what, we'll give you the ice cream anyway. thank you for playing. there you go. that's "you catch it, you keep it." or "you miss it, you keep it." we should just call it "you keep it." right? we have a great show tonight. we have music from the interrupters. sam heughan is here and we'll be right back with adam carolla. so stick around. ing. here were adding tv and movies from our unlimited plan to the powerful new samsung galaxy note9... ...the perfect device for entertainment & productivity. so, it's essentially the ed helms of devices?
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who makes up the name for the paint colors? >> some lady up in the office. they don't mention. >> jimmy: is that true? >> yes. that's pretty much all she does. >> jimmy: that's all she does.
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a magical place... that's lookin' to get scared! (laughter) halloween time is back in disneyland and disney california adventure parks!
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>> jimmy: all right. tonight from the show "outlander" and the movie "the spy who dumped me" sam heughan is with us. then their album is called "fight the good fight," the interrupters from the mercedes-benz stage. [ cheers and applause ] you can see the interrupters live on the warped tour through next sunday. next week we are back at it again we have new shows with kim kardashian west, christian slater, sean "diddy" combs, hayley atwell, sean spicer, brett baier, betty gilpin plus music from train, courtney barnett and dan and shay. please join us for all of that. our first guest is an actor, comedian, writer, carpenter, documentary filmmaker, and one of the most prominent casters in the history of pod. you can see him work his black magic live in seattle september 13 and at the grove of anaheim november 30th or just download his podcast every day. please welcome america's sweetheart, adam carolla! [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ >> jimmy: welcome, welcome, adam. >> good to be here, jimmy. >> jimmy: i don't know if you're aware of this, this is your 52nd appearance on the show. >> i love it, jimmy. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and this towel. i think it's like number 48 for the towel. >> well, you know, i get a little dewy up here at times, jimmy, so i thought i'd bring the towel. >> jimmy: seems like you're at work, like. so really you're like doing something. >> yeah, i could do that thing they do in sitcoms where the bartenders just wipe the glass endlessly. that's my greatest lament as an adult, every time i go to the bar, i'm like why isn't there a guy just wiping a glass endlessly like my childhood? >> jimmy: turns out tv is not like real life. >> no, it's not. we're both wearing makeup right now. >> jimmy: we are, i know.
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>> we rarely wear makeup in rare life. >> jimmy: you rarely wear clothes. i'm happy to see you put a sport jacket on and even shoes is something for you. >> i respect the format, jimmy. not your show per se. >> jimmy: not the show specifically. >> the late night format i respect. [ applause ] >> jimmy: on behalf of all of us, going back to jack parr, we say thank you. >> he's my favorite. i wish he was alive and sitting here right now. >> jimmy: your kids are here, your twins, sonny and natalia. [ cheers and applause ] hi, kids. they're very good kids. >> they are. >> jimmy: do you take them to many things like this? >> no, almost nothing. [ laughter ] it was funny because they were floating around in the swimming pool, you know, white privilege and all. [ laughter ] and i was lighting a cigar with a 100-dollar bill. and i said, hey, we're going to go see uncle jimmy tomorrow. and they said, oh, we're going
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to see uncle jimmy tomorrow! i said, yeah, we're going to the show, going to see uncle jimmy. natalia said, who's the guest going to be? i said, i'm going to be the guest. she went, awww! [ applause ] yeah we bumped cardi b so your old fart of a dad could sit up here and wax poetic with jimmy. she was devastated when i told her i was going to be the guest. >> jimmy: you have to learn to pretend not to be disappointed when you are disappointed for your father's sake. >> that's right, yes. put on a happy face. learn to lie. later on when you have an eating disorder, i'll never know. i'm talking to the boy! come on. >> jimmy: that's sexism, yes. >> right. >> jimmy: you came to my house for fourth of july with the kids. >> yes. >> jimmy: and it was great, because it was a beautiful day, we were down by the beach, we sat and watched television. >> yes, we sat and watched tv and i was complaining about the
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coney island hot dog eating competition. >> jimmy: oh, right, yeah. >> that happened earlier that day. >> jimmy: at nathan's, yeah. >> i like the idea there's a hot dog eating competition. no wonder the rest of the world hates us so much. we got guys wolfing down hot dogs and then vomiting into a trash can. you're throwing fudgsicles off the roof. they're all looking for clean water and a place to die. i mean, come on. it's the ugliest american thing ever, right? [ applause ] >> jimmy: you're right. >> we're so lousy with hot dogs we pay guys to eat and then throw up. i don't like the way they eat it. i feel like you should eat it conventionally. they got the mug of water. they're dipping. they're ripping the hot dog families apart right at the border. put the buns in the cage, the hot dogs get the attention. they're tearing into them, dipping them into water. the guy's shoving it in his mouth. >> jimmy: yeah. >> all right. i'm no longer watching because it's grotesque, i feel like every tenth hot dog, on the
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tenth hot dog you do a chili cheese and you have to eat it conventionally. no ripping it apart. no dunking. 20th we go chicagoan. like the money ball in the three-point competition with the nba. >> jimmy: up the ante a little bit. >> i would watch that. >> jimmy: they've lost sight of what the hot dog contest is about, which is eating hot dogs. >> right. >> jimmy: it's about how many hot dogs you can eat, not about being a human garbage pail. >> right, and dunking it in the water and the whole thing. >> jimmy: i'm glad you're paying attention to this sort of thing because literally no one is else in the world. >> i don't call myself a hero. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: right. >> many do. but somebody has to speak out, jimmy. especially with the kids. i want to leave you guys a world where you can eat hot dogs like a human being. by the way, if you ever invited one of these guys if your barbecue and he started ripping the hot dogs apart, dunking them in the water, shoving them in his face? you wouldn't let him near your kids. >> jimmy: no, probably. >> not at all. >> jimmy: you'd probably call the police. >> what do we do, squirt ketchup in your mouth while you're doing this?
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>> jimmy: mustard, of course. >> don't you do it, kid. >> jimmy: i know you just had your first colonoscopy. >> i did. >> jimmy: was it what you expected it would be? >> well, there was a few things about it. so dr. drew got me set up on the colonoscopy. i know you had one recently. >> jimmy: yes. >> i did one without a film crew, by the way. [ laughter ] i know that's absurd in your world. i didn't have katie couric holding my hand. a segment producer and a boom mike smashing my ball sac. you know. i had the kids, they had the phone, they filmed it, we didn't have a whole crew. we had a local news organization. >> jimmy: oh, i see, a local crew with you. >> we didn't turn it into a big deal. so -- >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> so i go there. so the first part is the part where you have to drink the seawater, like a gallon of seawater. no eating for 24 hours. nothing. no liquids with colors in it. no nothing. just like seawater, saltwater, brine. it's that thing, in life, like i like to cheat.
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like you're a kid, did you brush your teeth, jimmy? oh, i'll just wet the toothbrush and set it back on there. let's see, how many dependants should i claim on my irs thing? let's make it five. i'm going to go five. five dependents. here's the deal, when they're putting a camera up your ass? you can't cheat. you know what i mean? >> jimmy: right. >> you can't be like, no, hungarian food last night? no, no. you said 24 hours, i don't know, i'm a stickler for details. you can cheat in everything, but not when they're putting a camera up your ass. >> jimmy: yeah. >> then they know everything. >> jimmy: they do. >> yes. >> jimmy: did you cheat? >> no, i didn't cheat. and i was feeling a little depleted. and i was on the gurney. and i was in my gown. and i had the iv in and everything. and the nurse came by with the clipboard and she said, all right, we're about to roll you in to be violated.
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>> jimmy: uh-huh. >> to have your behindment deployed. quote of the year, kids. rolled me in. so, is this your first colonoscopy? and i said, yeah, it is. she went, oh, first rodeo. and i thought -- could there be an activity that punishes the rear end more than the rodeo? you know what i mean? like she could have said, first pillow fight. i would have been fine. >> jimmy: it's a poor choice of analogies. >> first ride on a unicycle with no seat, huh? okay. first rodeo? it's eight seconds of intense rectal abuse. that's all the rodeo is. >> jimmy: you know what, we're going to isolate that clip. and in your in memoriam montage, i'm going to insist at the emmys they play that moment where you said intense rectal -- what was it? >> abuse! >> jimmy: we're going to take a break, adam carolla is here, we'll be right back.
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♪ ♪ ♪ raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens ♪ ♪ bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens ♪ ♪ brown paper packages tied up with strings ♪ ♪ these are a few of my favorite things ♪ ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: hi, we're back with adam carolla. sam heughan and the interrupters still to come. so you have a show in seattle. it's kind of a weird thing,
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isn't it, that -- do you feel like you're for some reason in seattle more than any other city they love you? >> well, you know, it's funny. because when i was doing radio, we were syndicated in seattle. which probably helps now with the audience in seattle. but my program director came in and he said, you guys are number one in seattle. and i said, you want to know what the smartest city in the united states is? it's seattle. and he said, yeah, you know where else you're number one? i said, where? he said, the dumbest city in america, vegas, where jimmy kimmel is from. >> jimmy: what? the dumb -- how is that the dumbest city? by the way, people come into vegas, we take all their money and send them back to their stupid towns. [ applause ] so who's the dummy? >> true, i don't know. i heard the dumbest city was vegas, and the smartest city was seattle. >> jimmy: oh. by the way, i lived in seattle, my first radio job was in seattle, they fired me almost
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immediately. >> yeah, it was funny. he said the caveat was is they were number three when you were living there. as soon as you left they went to number one. you were like a sandbag on their dirigible. >> jimmy: really, is that what they said? >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's unfortunate. i'm sorry to hear that. >> can i say one more thing about the colonoscopy? >> jimmy: yeah, go ahead. >> i was laying there. it's always -- it's go time when they tell you to roll over on your side, you know. and i rolled over on my side. and they started the drip with the sedatives and everything. and right then the guy was going to perform the procedure, leaned in, and he went, oh, hey, adam carolla, i just saw a whole spread on your race cars in the "l.a. times," you got paul newman race cars. and i was like, let me tell you about my -- arrggh -- i was like, finally somebody asked me about my race cars, my number one subject, hang on! as soon as i woke up i went back into the race cars. >> jimmy: i'm going to hire that
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anesthesiologist to work at my house when you come over to visit so we don't have to ever hear about your race cars ever again. >> you see? >> jimmy: you see, yeah. it's part of being dumb. [ laughter ] adam, it's a pleasure to have you here. i was talking about myself, please. >> self-deprecating. listen, he doesn't think much of himself. he only had a four-man crew when he was getting a colonoscopy. >> jimmy: it was katie couric's crew. >> he was loved, he wasn't booed. >> jimmy: that was not love. it's great to have you here. thank you so much for being here. thanks to the kids for coming along too. "the adam carolla show" live from the moore theater in seattle september 13 and the grove of anaheim november 30th. we'll be right back with sam heughan.
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are you tryingyes.get your ged? if you do not pass that test, you do not pass this class. yes! i failed, but i'm gonna take it again. night school is about second chances. teddy, focus. what's the square root of 81? what? ow! i definitely didn't pass that one. i failed again. teddy, you're clinically dumb. -what? there's no cure for what you have. i got learnin' herpes? there's no such thing as learnin' herpes. what's the capitol of belgium? waffles? -what? rated pg-13. i'm on the pill. i'm on the pill. i'm on the pill, too. but it's not birth control. it's truvada for prep®, a once-daily prescription medicine for adults that when taken every day along with using safer sex practices,
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi there welcome back. still to come, the interrupters. our next guest delights millions around the world as the 18th-century scotsman who regularly takes his kilt off. his show called "outlander" is on starz, and on august 3rd he joins mila kunis and kate mckinnon in "the spy who dumped me." please say hello to sam heughan! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i don't know if you pay attention but there's a lot of excitement around your
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appearance here. [ cheers and applause ] particularly from women. >> wow. fantastic. >> jimmy: you know you really have something going on when your fans give themselves a group name. >> yes. >> jimmy: and form a community. >> yes. we have a great group of fans, they're called the heughligans. they are almost as big as the kimmels. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you're going to be shocked to learn i do not have a fan group. >> we need to start that now. i'll be the first guy. >> jimmy: that would be nice. you'll follow me around, maybe i'll call the police on you every once in a while. >> yeah, that's fun. i was going to compliment you on your suit, it looks a little plaid, like tartan there. >> jimmy: you're from scotland, yes. >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: scottish accent in "outlander." you had an english accent in this movie. >> yes. >> jimmy: and you did a bit of an american accent in the movie also. before you get a job offer like this do they know for sure you can do those accents or do you just tell them? >> i generally tell them anything they want to hear. >> jimmy: for real. [ laughter ] >> as an actor i'll just lie, basically lie.
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i get myself ton a lot of situations. >> jimmy: do you really just lie? >> basically, yeah. >> jimmy: do they find out you're lying? >> it's come very close a few times. when i first came to l.a. i used to pretend i was american. but then they'd ask you where you're from. like every spy you try and stick as close to the truth as possible. i'd say, i'm from scotland but my dad is american, or canadian maybe. then i had to develop this accent that is slightly scottish, slightly canadian. >> jimmy: and why would you do that? to give them confidence you can do the job? >> i just want the job. >> jimmy: i see. >> i've said i can ride a horse, juggle, tightrope walk, all of it. >> jimmy: can you ride a horse, juggle, tightrope walk? >> no. >> jimmy: none of those things. >> none of those. >> jimmy: do you find yourself on a horse, juggling, anything like that? >> i had a few situations especially when i started out as an actor, i found myself being chased by a posse on a horse that i couldn't control at all, down a ravine. when i got off the horse i was shaking. i didn't fall off the horse. i was shaking. the director comes over and says, do you want to do it again? i was like, i'd love to, love
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to! yeah. >> jimmy: acting is lying, though. in a way. it's like kind of a bigger form of lying. you're pretending to be someone you're not, and hopefully people believe it. >> hopefully they do, yes. my canadian accent was probably not very believable. >> jimmy: what is a canadian accent? is it that typical "aboot," all that kind of stuff? >> what's it all aboot? i was going to ask justin. because he has the name very similar to -- >> jimmy: justin theroux. >> that's right. >> jimmy: but he's not canadian. >> he could be passed off as the canadian prime minister. >> jimmy: justin trudeau, yeah, for sure. there is some confusion every once in a while, yeah. >> easy mistake to make, yeah. >> jimmy: okay. so you did this movie with these people. you shot -- where did you shoot this? in budapest? correct? >> we shot in budapest. a little bit in vienna. all around europe. berlin as well. budapest was incredible. it's really amazing. the people were fantastic there. >> jimmy: are they? do they know what's like -- a
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lot of people shoot there. do they know what's going on? do they know you, your tv show? it's a good question. yes. i went to a gym there actually, this fantastic gym, a bit like the gold's of budapest. they had lots of pictures of very famous people there. lawrence fox, schwarzenegger. all these people have trained there and -- >> jimmy: lawrence fox? >> lawrence fox. never heard of him? >> he's a canadian, maybe? [ laughter ] yeah, so like the last week of training this guy is letting me train, giving me protein shakes. the last week i walk in, he's painted this mural of me in the center of his changing room. life-sized mural. i'm like, wow, this guy really likes "outlander." and then i'm speaking to him. he goes, yes, i watch your movie. that's my canadian accent. [ laughter ] i watch your movie. i said, which movie is that? he said, "yes, yes, tarzan." [ laughter ] oh, that's not actually me. but he's like, oh. and he looked kind of sad about this. then was like, well, i see your other movie. i said, which movie is that?
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"alexander the great." yes, that's not me either. [ laughter ] that's colin farrell. but i think i'm pretty big in budapest. >> jimmy: was the painting of you? >> it was me. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: at least they got that part of it right, that would have been even stranger if they'd missed that. >> i think he may have changed the name, just painted that out, put i don't know, skarsgard or something. >> jimmy: i see what you're saying, yeah. you know what, at least you got -- boy, i go in a gym every once in a while, nobody ever paints me on a wall. you've got to take -- you know, be positive. >> stop painting yourself on the wall maybe. >> jimmy: stop painting yourself into corners and -- >> hand out head shots maybe as well. >> jimmy: and onto walls. congratulations. the movie is very funny. it's called "the spy who dumped me." it opens in theaters august 3rd. sam heughan, everybody! be right back with music from the interrupters. ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is
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this is their album "fight the good fight." here with the song "she's kerosene," the interrupters! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i'm a match she's kerosene you know she's gonna burn down everything ♪ ♪ she's an arsonist in her pass time and i've been burned for the last time ♪ ♪ time time time woah oh i've been burned for the last time ♪ ♪ time time time woah oh i've been burned for the last time ♪ ♪ it started out like any other morning the sky was red he took it as a warning ♪ ♪ she hit the hive now the bees are swarming he played the victim till the crowd starts forming ♪ ♪ she's got a history of making a scene yeah she tell a story she got started like ♪ ♪ he's the executioner and she's
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the queen and he's the one whose neck is in the guillotine ♪ ♪ i'm a match she's kerosene you know she's gonna burn down everything ♪ ♪ she's an arsonist in her pass time and i've been burned for the last time ♪ ♪ time time time woah oh i've been burned for the last time ♪ ♪ time time time woah oh i've been burned for the last time ♪ ♪ the smoke clears out when he's been awaken he said this life could be mine for the taking ♪ ♪ she need a drink so she starts shaking and played a victim til his heart stops breaking ♪ ♪ no real tears cause she don't mean it this landscape used to be so scenic ♪ ♪ and he could make it out if he could dream it rising up from the ash he's a phoenix ♪ ♪ i'm a match she's kerosene you know she's gonna burn down everything ♪ ♪ she's an arsonist in her pass
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time and i've been burned for the last time ♪ ♪ time time time woah oh i've been burned for the last time ♪ ♪ time time time woah oh i've been burned for the last time ♪ ♪ ♪ you play with me you're playing with fire you play with me you're playing with fire ♪ ♪ i'm a match she's kerosene you're playing with me you're playing fire ♪ ♪ you know she's gonna burn down everything she's an arsonist in her pass time ♪ ♪ you're playing with me you're playing fire and i've been burned for the last time ♪ ♪ time time time woah you're playing with me you're playing fire ♪ ♪ i've been burned for the last time time time time woah ♪ ♪ you're playing with me you're playing fire i've been burned for the last time ♪ [ cheers and applause ]
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grab it. >> tonight, a father's urgent search for answers. >> ready? >> to find the mother he never knew. >> she was a ghost. >> with time running out. >> my body's fighting hard. >> why his bloodline could be a lifeline. byron pitts on an emotional five-month journey with an investigative genealogist. >> i started getting text messages from rob's birth mom. >> the shocking discovery. >> wow. >> the powerful reunion. >> there she is. >> this special edition of "nightline," "finding mom," will be right back.

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