>> whoo! >> >> dicky: from hollywood -- it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- jim carrey, andy cohen, and music from nathaniel rateliff & the night sweats. and now, stay put, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. very nice. hi, everybody. welcome. thank you. hi, i'm jimmy, i'm the host. thanks for watching. thanks for coming. very nice. please. i mean, listen. it's nice, but -- we will begin tonight with a terrifying story

out of philadelphia. the city of brotherly love. where the citizenry fell victim to one of the most unusual robberies ever. the largest live insect heist in history. maybe the only live insect heist in history, i don't know. [ laughter ] thousands of bugs have been stolen from the philadelphia insectarium. thieves made off with more than 7,000 bugs including millipedes, rhinoceros roaches, lizards, frogs, snakes and venomous spiders valued at more than $40,000. i get why people steal, but what's the plan after a theft like this? unless you live in an ant farm you walk around the street going, wanna buy some bugs? [ laughter ] there's a tweet on the subject, a warning. if you see this six-eyed sand spider that is highly venomous, let the philadelphia insectarium know. trust me, i'll let that know. i see that freaking thing?

i'll let everybody know if i see it, probably with a loud and very girlish scream. in happier philadelphia news, the new nfl season kicked off tonight. the eagles hosted the atlanta falcons in a game that also marked perhaps more importantly the start of a new fantasy football season. most of the guys i know studied harder for their fantasy football draft this year than all of high school and college combined. [ laughter ] in honor of this new football season we put together a highlight reel that celebrates the fan experience using the best stock footage of people cheering for no reason that a few hundred dollars can buy. ♪ we are the champions my friends ♪ ♪ and we'll keep on fighting till the end ♪ ♪ we are the champions we are

the champions ♪ ♪ no time for losers cause we are the champions ♪ ♪ of the world [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that was fun. >> guillermo: that was great. >> jimmy: meanwhile, there's a major who wrote it mystery happening at the white house right now. president trump is trying to figure out which senior member of his team wrote that brutal op-ed that was published in "the new york times" yesterday. i'm sure you've read or heard by now the "times" published an anonymous diatribe from a current member of his administration who claims to be part of the resistance against an unstable president. the white house is reportedly in total meltdown mode because of this thing. trump's demanding that the "times" release the person's name and turn him or her over to the government. and his people are all scurrying

to deny it was them, including his vice president. not only did mike pence deny writing the op-ed, which a lot of people thought he did, he had some choice words for the person who did write it. >> anyone who would write an anonymous editorial smearing this president, who's provided extraordinary leadership to this country, should not be working for this administration. they ought to do the honorable thing and they ought to resign. but look, the bottom line is the american people see through all of this. >> jimmy: that's right, we do. [ laughter ] and now if you'll excuse me, the president's boots aren't going to lick themselves. [ laughter ] poor mike pence, last night was so stressful mother had to read him two bedtime stories. true. a number of top team trumpers have been busy trying to distance themselves from the op-ed today. letters have been produced by secretary of state mike pompeo, the national intelligence director dan coats, defense secretary james mattis, attorney general jeff sessions, kirsten

nielsen, betsy devos, ben carson, rick perry -- although rick perry doesn't write anyway. [ laughter ] someone wrote this op-ed, and nobody knows who it is. but senator rand paul has what i think is a terrific idea. he's suggesting that they give everyone a lie detector test. >> i'm all for it. give everyone a lie detector. ask everyone on the white house staff, do you think the president is a dangerous idiot? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i would love to watch. will this thing buzz if i say no? [ laughter ] you can actually even bet on who wrote the op-ed. this is for real. the favorite is mike pence. this is not a joke. then betsy devos. you see mike pompeo goes down, steven is 15-1, good for him. it's funny that all this commotion is going on.

because i already know who it is. i know the name of the person who wrote this. it's jared, jared kushner, his son-in-law. i thought about it all night last night, i'm totally convinced it's him. let's think it through. first off, could you imagine having donald trump as a father-in-law? [ laughter ] looking at you across the table, that orange puss on all the time? [ laughter ] judging, resenting you for all the disgusting things he knows you're doing to his shiny and beautiful daughter. [ audience moans ] boss has your wife sitting in his lap, it's a lot to swallow. the name of jared kushner's real estate company is cadre. as in a group of activists in a communist or other revolutionary organization. a revolutionary organization? like maybe a member of a secret white house resistance? you know, jared kushner's father, charles kushner, went to prison partly for hiring a prostitute to seduce his own brother-in-law. he hired a hooker, this is true, to meet his brother-in-law outside a restaurant. she pretended her car broke down

and asked him for a ride. and then later took him to a motel. they secretly filmed them having sex. then mr. kushner mailed the tape of them having sex to his own sister. [ audience moaning ] you think that person's son wouldn't flip on his father-in-law? [ laughter ] it's in his dna. [ cheers and applause ] and finally, my final part of this hypothesis is, just look at him. i mean, look at that face. [ laughter ] that's a face that says, just practicing for the glee club at school, mrs. cleaver. and look at the way he looks at donald trump. in every picture. he's there in the background. fantasizing about ways to destroy him. [ laughter ] and then just sipping from the sweet mug of revenge. [ cheers and applause ] haven't you noticed that jared kushner looks exactly like the most dangerous and notorious spy of all our lifetimes, really? the elf on a shelf.

watching children, telling everything to santa. if you think that's a coincidence i've got property at 666 fifth avenue to sell you. jared did it. if there's one thing we learned from subway, you cannot under any circumstances trust a man named jared. [ laughter ] and good for him. [ cheers and applause ] you know, all this chaos, all these accusations, it's been a very tough time for fox news because this is so big, they've been forced to actually cover this story. instead of what they usually do, exposing former tv stars who work at grocery stores. this is how the story went last night on "hannity." >> my book actually uses science and real data and true psychological theory to explain why it is quite possible that this president is the most sound-minded person to ever cupt righatinco was a k in los angeles, marijuana's

legal for whatever you want to use it for and that has resulted in a very new l.a. wedding trend. >> marijuana was evident throughout the evening. pot leaves in the bride's bouquet. a cannabis bar with joints, edibles, even a cbd chocolate fountain. >> with this ring i ask you to be mine. >> reporter: sealed with smoke. >> you may now smoke with the bride. >> reporter: a marriage celebrated with marijuana. >> it was really important to me because the symbolism of our commitment to each other, you know, we do it together. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, there you go. you may now visine each other's eyes. [ laughter ] here's another thing that's going on. we here in los angeles have a very serious infestation of scooters. have you seen these electric scooters? there are two companies, lime and bird, and they put thousands of these scooters out. the way it works is you use an

app to find a scooter near you. you don't need an app, you just need eyes, they're everywhere. pick it up, take it for however long you want, they charge you by the minute, then when you're done you drop them wherever you might be. people are leaving them all over the place, they dump them wherever. there's a pile on the beach. on top of a street sign, a stop sign, a top of a pole, dogs are pooping on them. and i don't blame the dogs, these scooters really clog things up. i got caught behind one of these on the 405? took me three days to get home. some people use them all the time and love them. some people hate them so much they've taken matters into their own hands. >> get down there.

>> jimmy: you really have to hand it to us, even when we find something that's good for the environment we find a way to use it to pollute the environment. [ laughter ] here's the thing, no one under the age -- over the age of 12 should be on a scooter. they're called scooters, grownups don't scoot. they didn't have any laws about this until a couple of days ago. the l.a. city council passed regulations this week to drastically reduce the number of scooters on our streets. under the new rules each company will be limited to 3,000 scooters, which is a lot less than there are now, there are like three times as many. call me old fashioned, i remember a time if you wanted to get around l.a. you didn't take a scooter, you carjacked someone like an adult. [ laughter ] the scooters have been neutered, now there's a new rideshare option that might be even more of a problem. >> first there was ridesharing. then bikesharing. then scootersharing. now get ready for the next generation of community mobility. hopp.

hopp is so easy to use. just download the app, locate a hopp near you, scan the qr code, and hop on. whether you're on your way to work, running errands, or just cruising around town, hopp whenever you want, wherever you want. then just hop off and leave it anywhere you like. hopp. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight on the show, we have music from nathaniel rateliff and the night sweats. andy cohen is here and we'll be right back with jim carrey!

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>> jimmy: hi there, welcome back to the show. tonight -- he is the host of "watch what happens live" on bravo and the host of the new "the love connection" on fox. andy cohen is here. [ cheers and applause ] then -- their album is called "tearing at the seams." nathaniel rateliff & the night sweats from the mercedes-benz outdoor stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night we will be at work with a new show with terry bradshaw, shannon purser, and dreamers. so make that a part of your life if you would. our first guest is one of the most talented beings on this or any planet. he returns to the very thing that brought him to us in the first place, television, with a brand new show called "kidding." it premieres sunday night on showtime. please welcome jim carrey. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> let's see what this baby can do! argghhh! >> i'm out of order? you're out of order! this whole freaking thing is out of order! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: wow, look at that. [ cheers and applause ] >> it's a scooter! isn't this amazing? i love it! you can pick them up anywhere and you can just drop them wherever you need to. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, people -- >> anywhere you want. people just love it. >> jimmy: i know, i guess they do, it's weird. >> do you want to try it? seriously, anybody can do it. >> jimmy: yeah, go ahead, give it a try. [ cheers and applause ] >> it's simple, very easy. you're never too old to try something new. come on, get your feet up there. >> jimmy: drive it right out. >> watch your center of gravity. watch the throttle, it's a bit hot. okay, there she goes. oh my gosh. jimmy! oh my gosh! wow. yeah! >> jimmy: are you almost out? >> beautiful! it's just beautiful! >> jimmy: it's not a --

[ cheers and applause ] it's not a foot-powered thing. oh, there she goes, all right. >> there she goes. oh my gosh. >> jimmy: wow. >> unbelievable. >> jimmy: oh my goodness. >> she's never been on one! >> jimmy: oh -- oh my gosh. oh no. [ scattered laughter and applause ] >> jimmy what have we done? >> jimmy: i don't know. >> what have we done, jimmy? >> jimmy: i feel like i didn't do anything. >> the scooters are bad! >> jimmy: bad. >> bad! >> jimmy: really bad. i said they were bad, and they're bad, it turns out. look at that. jim carrey, everybody.

[ cheers and applause ] how are you? can i help you with that? [ cheers and applause ] ♪ very stylish. >> thank you. thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's a hell of an entrance. how are you? >> beautiful. good to see you, man. >> jimmy: you look fantastic. >> oh, thank you. these are my jammies. they're my jammies. finally after all these years of doing these shows late at night, taping these shows, i finally figured i can just dress for bed. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you learn, that's smart. >> exactly. >> jimmy: do you wear the shoes to bed? >> no, those go. i keep the black socks because i'm 56.

>> jimmy: is that the rule? once you hit a certain age, you go with black socks? >> yeah, it's 50, you've got the garters, it's fantastic. >> jimmy: everything good with you? >> it's great. i mean, just look at me. >> jimmy: you look styling. >> styling. >> jimmy: i have to say i've been enjoying your drawings that you've been posting online. >> oh, thanks. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: boy, i remember your first show. and i thought i really like that show, "the duck factory." that was your first show, right? >> it was incredible, that show. >> jimmy: but i used to love to draw cartoons and i thought -- >> me too. >> jimmy: you played a cartoonist. >> this whole thing has brought back my 8-year-old self, a gift from god. it's literally brought me back to 8 years old where i used to sit in my room. trump is toast. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i like that one. >> trump is toast. yeah, man. >> jimmy: so you just kind of digest the news of the day -- >> it's affirmation. >> jimmy: i'm glad some good is

coming out of this stuff. this is robert mueller? >> robert mueller putting the squeeze on the president. just to relieve the stress, you know what i mean? a stress reliever. >> jimmy: here we have? >> that's space force. that's the beginning of space force. that's right. makes me feel good. >> jimmy: when you were a kid would you draw caricatures of your friends, et cetera? >> i did. i drew pictures of my teacher. >> jimmy: oh, really? how'd that go over? >> she actually stole -- wow, look at this, i can do anything with it! [ laughter ] working? not working. [ laughter and applause ] they get you coming and going, man, you know what i mean? you try and you try and you give it all, give it all to her! >> jimmy: that is remarkable, i have to say. >> incredible transformation. >> jimmy: it is an incredible transformation. >> whoo! >> jimmy: who's the teacher -- >> watch this.

>> jimmy: oh, all right. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that character is called, good morning hitler. >> this is a bad angle for me. >> jimmy: you look good. >> stay away from this angle right here. you have a giant screen with the worst angle i've ever seen in my life. i'm better like this. >> jimmy: we'll turn it off. [ cheers and applause ] >> picture the whole thing. this is going to be me in another hour. when i get home. yeah. folks, i'll be asleep before my head hits the limo seat. >> jimmy: can i make you more comfortable? maybe you'd like to lay your head on this phone? >> that would be great. >> jimmy: who was the teacher you draw pictures of, do you remember? >> mrs. jervadis. she was a super ultra-hip teacher. grade six. she was -- first of all, i was back in the class drawing pictures of her getting attacked and missiled and axes in her

head. >> jimmy: oh. >> yeah, yeah. i had to learn how to be correct. she took them all. >> jimmy: she confiscated them. >> kind of scolded me but not really. once i got famous she sent them all back to me. >> jimmy: she did? >> yeah, she saved them because she knew what was going to happen in the world, jimmy! >> jimmy: she knew? >> she knew! >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> she saw the divine spark, jimmy! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's hard not to see. let's take a break. jim carrey is here, we'll be right back! ♪ aint just gon break you dog, ♪ i'll break your heart class is dismissed, ♪ ♪ take this diss and depart. oooooh give it up for my man grizzle, up next we got my boy boogie! ♪ don't go breaking my heart.

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is that a tattoo? on your breast? >> it's a small one.

>> does it hurt? they're getting those off now. >> it's three weeks old. >> drinking wine before dinner? what's next, pall-malls? batteries dangling from the smoke detector? >> you can't keep pushing it down. >> maybe i should do something healthy like get a tattoo. or pierce my -- labia. >> jimmy: that is jim carrey and "kidding" which premieres sunday night on showtime. i really enjoy the show. >> i prefer this to the hair formation that's happening. i decided to put it back on. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> because of that angle right there! >> jimmy: jim -- >> actually, i don't care. >> jimmy: i will set the show up a little bit. you correct me if i have anything wrong. >> you're way off, way off. way off. >> jimmy: similar in some ways to mr. rogers. >> yes. >> jimmy: beloved by all. >> this show is about a

beautiful human being with a huge heart that everybody's trying to protect. and lightning hits his life. and everybody's super concerned that he's going to fall apart and take the whole shooting match with him. and the whole kids show that this fortune they've created. and also they love his heart, you know. and the show really exists in that place where like mr. rogers would come out on a show like this and he'd be so absolutely authentic. >> jimmy: sincere, yeah. >> you can't find the irony, there's nothing you can hold up to him to make fun of him because he's so sincere. i really tapped into that at the beginning of the show. i realized we're really reminding people that we're all innocent. we still have it. we haven't lost it. no trump can take it away from us. [ cheers and applause ] it will always be there, always be there. and it's proven out when you see a person like mr. rogers. and you go, wow, i still have that in me, that total belief in

goodness. so that's what it's about. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: and your director -- genius director, michelle donahue, is director of the show. >> yes. which is -- was the tipping point for me. i love the show, i love the idea, but you know, getting back together with -- >> jimmy: you worked with him on "eternal sunshine." [ applause ] what is it? we were very fortunate here, he directed our show once. >> yes, i heard that. >> jimmy: crazy experience. it was -- he's one of -- maybe the most creative person i've ever met. he had our couches come to life. and the desk stood up. it was really like he turned the show inside out. >> what did you do on the show? >> jimmy: i almost didn't need to be there. what is it about him that appeals to you as an actor working with him? >> he's a mad scientist, you know. he's a true artist. he sits back and looks at something and goes, what if it was upside down, would it make a difference?

am i in a dream world? i used to argue with him on "eternal sunshine" and say, why does she have one leg walking down the street? he goes, because some parts of our memories are not there. they're not complete. logic like that he takes into consideration and it's always very beautiful as a result. >> jimmy: yeah it's really -- it makes it unpredictable. >> plus we're lovers. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that right? that's a bombshell. are you a social person? do you have parties? do you go out? do you do things? >> i try to stay at least, what this is, 30 feet, away from people. >> jimmy: from people. [ laughter ] >> i spend a lot of time on my own for sure. >> jimmy: yeah? >> but yeah, i do love people. >> jimmy: you do. >> what are you getting at? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, i'm just curious. because some people will not go out, they don't do anything, they stay at home, they don't invite anybody over, and i was wondering if you're one of those guys.

>> so i'm a lonely loser? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: asking if you wanted to drop by. >> i would like that. >> jimmy: you check in with me every three days, and if i don't hear from you, i'll come bang on the door. >> i would love it. did you used to have a microphone here? >> jimmy: no, this is so when i hold things up that i know where to put them for the camera. >> so different than every other talk show! [ laughter ] i mean, come on! [ cheers and applause ] let's give credit where credit is due! yeah, there was jack parr, there was steve allen and they were doing some stuff, but this! [ laughter ] empty space says it all! >> jimmy: jim carrey. his show is called "kidding" premieres sunday night at 10:00 on showtime. we'll be right back. ♪

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>> dicky: it's time to find out -- >> what are you eating? >> tonight we go to ken in white plains, new york. >> what are you eating? >> caramel puffs. >> dicky: that's what ken's eating. brought to you by cisco. can speak to the future.

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>> jimmy: welcome back.

still to come, music from nathaniel rateliff and the night sweats. our next guest is an emmy award-winning producer, author, talk show host and wrangler of real housewives. he's also now a game show host. "love connection" airs tuesday nights on fox. please welcome andy cohen. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i have to tell you, we thought, who could possibly have the energy to follow jim carrey? >> yes. >> jimmy: you were like -- it was like really you and flavor flav. [ laughter ] >> yes, i do kind of tend to scream on talk shows. i feel terrible for the woman who was killed by the bus. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i know. >> that was -- >> you know what? funny how quickly we forgot about that. [ laughter ] >> i know, i'm still mourning her loss. >> jimmy: we'll send flowers to her family. >> the audience doesn't seem too shaken. >> jimmy: what are you going to do? welcome to los angeles. >> thank you. >> jimmy: it's great -- you've never been on the show before? >> no, i'm so excited. >> jimmy: i've been on your show, you haven't been on mine. >> yes, yeah. >> jimmy: i've always wanted to

have you on the show. >> thank you. >> jimmy: i'm very fond of you, i don't know if you're aware of that. >> i'm fond of you too. and your wife is from st. louis. >> jimmy: let's not bring her into this. [ laughter ] i can tell you, my wife has a very good friend named andy cohen. who lives in st. louis. every time he calls for a restaurant reservation, he gets it immediately. it's great. then he walks in and they're very disappointed. [ laughter ] >> yes. >> jimmy: every single time. >> that's funny. when i'm in st. louis i'll say, let's go to this place. my mom's like, we'll never get a table. i'm like, i think maybe i can do it. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: do you make the call yourself? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: do you say at the top, "this is andy cohen." >> yes. >> jimmy: "i need a table." >> yes. >> jimmy: do you ever feel weird doing it? >> yes. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i know how it goes. it's terrible when they're like, no, we don't have anything. >> i'm like, she doesn't watch "love connection," she doesn't know who i am. >> jimmy: how many jobs do you have right now, speaking of "love connection." >> i feel that i have eight or

nine or so jobs. >> jimmy: "watch what happens live." >> "housewives." >> jimmy: the housewives, yeah. >> i do all the reunions on bravo. >> jimmy: all the reunions because that's important work. >> yes, the lord's work. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: the lord's work. >> and i'm doing a big reunion of all of the trump team. >> jimmy: oh, you are? >> working on that for the end. whenever this all ends, i'm going to get them all together. >> jimmy: that will be great. >> that will be amazing. "love connection." >> jimmy: "love connection." >> for sure. anderson cooper and i are on tour. >> jimmy: oh, you are? >> yeah, been on tour for a few years. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> coming to the dolby in december, pretty excited. [ cheers and applause ] vegas in october. we're playing caesar's. we're playing the house that celine dion built. >> jimmy: oh my god. >> i can't wait. >> jimmy: you were in las vegas recently with britney spears. >> no, i was in new york city with britney spears. >> jimmy: oh. >> i saw her at radio city. >> jimmy: oh, i thought you went to vegas.

>> it was the tour of the vegas show. and it was amazing, though. they had said, we're going to pull you up. she had someone come onstage who she kind of makes her bitch. and i was like, you know what, i'm good with being britney's bitch, that sounds fine. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: dream come true. >> exactly. so basically they get me out of the audience. i'm crawling around on stage. she's dragging me around. which was really fun for me, i have to say. and then in the audience, they seemed to really like it and respond to me. but the joke was that she had no idea who i was. >> jimmy: was that a joke? or did she not know who you were? >> that is what i have been trying to figure out. [ laughter ] for six or eight weeks. >> jimmy: what exactly happened? because we have the videotape. i think we can analyze it. >> okay. >> jimmy: trying to figure it out. you go out there. you'd not met her before the show? >> no, i did interview her a few years ago for an album release event that she did. >> jimmy: was she in your studio?

>> no, it was in los angeles. >> jimmy: yeah, right, yeah. let's take a look at here. see if we can figure this out. there you are. >> i'm so happy. >> jimmy: very happy. >> i couldn't be happier. >> give it up for him! >> jimmy: for him. >> you know who this is. give it up for him! [ laughter ] okay, that does not denote to me that she has any idea. however, and this is why i'm confused, she then said, as she was walking away, he's so loud. and in truth, i have modulation issues. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> however, i had not said anything on the stage. which makes me think maybe she does know me. >> jimmy: yeah. no, she doesn't know you. [ laughter ] [ applause ] i'm not even sure she knew she was in new york to be honest. >> that could be true. i'm good with that, i don't need britney to know me. she's britney.

>> jimmy: you don't need britney to know you. >> no, she's britney. >> jimmy: who do you need to know you as far as celebrity goes? is there one you need to know you? madonna? >> i would like for madonna to know me. any of the great ladies of the stage. >> jimmy: i see, i gotcha. >> yes. >> jimmy: britney's okay? >> britney's fine, i give her a pass. >> jimmy: did you go on vacation for the summer? >> i did, big vacation. had a little snafu on the way over there. on the plane to nice. >> jimmy: where did you go? >> south of france, we ate our way through italy, had the best food. then we're in croatia. and a really amazing vacation. >> jimmy: really. >> but it didn't start great. on the way there, we're on the plane to nice. i'm in an ambien haze, passed out on ambien. 4 1/2 hours into the flight, we're over the water. i hear in my dream the captain

say, you know what, folks, someone stuck a foreign object down one of the toilets on the right side of the plane, all the toilets on the right side of the plane are shut down. be careful with the left toilets because if they get shut down, we either have to land or turn around. i go back to bed. 20 minutes later, guess what, folks, the toilets are shut down, we're going back to new york city. >> jimmy: four hours back? >> yes. so it was about an eight-hour roundtrip flight from jfk to jfk. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> it was. and i was -- we left the next -- we left, then 12 hours later i get back on the plane, we're seated with all the same people. i say to the flight attendant, let me get on here and find gate who did this. they need to present themselves. we all need to flog this person. >> jimmy: like trump at the white house, yeah, right.

>> yes. >> jimmy: if i was on that second flight, listen, i don't want to -- i would never want to go through that. but i would be forced to jam something in the toilet again. and in the toilet again so we had to turn the whole plane around again. >> i was like, are these people going to be able to control themselves? >> jimmy: no. >> and i said, can you please -- i said to the captain, can you announce what objects cannot go in the toilet? >> jimmy: yes. >> because these morons have no idea, obviously. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's terrible. >> yes. it was bad. >> jimmy: you were more than halfway to europe, they don't have bathrooms there? >> thank you. i was like, can we not hold it in for three hours? >> jimmy: yeah, that is really, really crazy. >> yeah, bad. >> jimmy: "love connection." this is a show that, in our youth, chuck woolry was the host. i don't think of you as a chuck woolery type. >> funny you say that. when i got the show, it's been on two seasons, i tweeted oh my god, i'm so excited, i love chuck woolery.

have you ever been on his twitter feed? >> jimmy: he's very politically minded. >> yes. yeah. i don't think i'm his cup of tea. >> jimmy: i don't think so either. >> yeah. anyway, i was a huge fan of "love connection," of the original. and it's really -- look, i'm someone who likes to kind of stir the turd a little bit. and so it's a perfect show for me. >> jimmy: do any of the people that meet on "love connection" actually make a love connection? >> yes. and i'm such a romantic that i think everyone who meets i'm like, these guys are getting married for sure. i'm going to say 15% are still together. >> jimmy: that's way more than "the bachelor." [ laughter ] >> i know, totally. >> jimmy: and they spend like three months on one guy. >> that is true. are you happy about the virgin bachelor? >> jimmy: i am happy about the virgin bachelor, yeah. we should all celebrate the virgin bachelor. >> i love a virgin bachelor. >> jimmy: i do too, i've always liked a virgin bachelor even before this one. it's great to see you. andy cohen. he's got a lot of shows for you to watch.

"love connection" airs tuesdays at 9:00pm on fox. and we'll return with music from nathaniel rateliff & the night sweats. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: "the jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. with bold sauces,urger fresh ingredients... and starting at 6.99. you can only think one thing... how fast can i get to denny's?

get a burger and fries from denny's starting at $6.99.

>> dicky: "the jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: thanks to our guests. apologies to matt damon, all that stuff. this is their album, it's called "tearing at the seams." here with the song "a little honey," nathaniel rateliff & the night sweats! ♪ ♪ ♪ i need you baby more than you'll ever ever know ♪

♪ what keeps you waiting let's take our time just moving slow ♪ ♪ i'm so lonely feeling heavy love ♪ ♪ you're just so far from where i want you now i need you ♪ ♪ come on now baby you speak so soft and low ♪ ♪ come on now baby you think that i don't know ♪ ♪ i need some honey come on now baby and ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ what if i told you that

there's a fight on every corner ♪ ♪ they'll keep you wavering until you've reached some modern low ♪ ♪ it's not just lazy there's just some things you're never told ♪ ♪ and i'm so lonely and it can't always be this heavy love ♪ ♪ come on now baby you speak so soft and low ♪ ♪ come on now baby you think that i don't know ♪ ♪ i need some honey come on now

baby and ♪ ♪ ♪ i need ya baby ♪ ♪ more than you'll ever ever know ♪ ♪ i can see it [ cheers and applause ]

tonight, fury. the relentless wrath of florence. making landfall as a hurricane -- >> it's starting to get deep out, folks. >> triggering torrential rainfall as a tropical storm. swamping the care line thats. the worst yet to come. >> this is epic flooding. epic flooding. >> taking a terrible toll. and lives. leaving people powerless and trapped. risky rescues under way. heroes braving dangerous rising waters. >> when you can help your fellow man, you can get out there and do what you're trained to do, that's a great day. >> for all creatures great and small. and a tale of two storms for one town. the community just starting to rebuild from one catastrophic storm -- >>