♪ >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, mike epps, l.a. dodger matt kemp, judge james, and music from wiz khalifa featuring lil skies, and now, here's jimmy kimmel. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow, very nice. hi, everybody. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. i'm so glad you made it. it's wonderful to be here. what a good-looking -- what a

physically attractive audience. i plan to make love to each and every one of you before the night is over. so, we have a lot to get to, starting with -- i want to start with some alarming news for those of us who have cell phones, which is all of us. actually, does here not have a cell phone? everyone has a phone, right? there are no lunatics in the audience. all right, sir. everyone has a phone but that may change because according to a new study from a company that studies these kinds of things, by next year, by 2019, half of all cell phone calls will be from scammers. i think i might be at half already. i don't get a ton of calls. when my phone rings, i'm surprised. it's like if a dog started to meow. i'm like, whoa, what's this? but of the few calls i do get, a lot of them are from nobody. i get these calls from numbers that look almost like mine. they have the same area code and the first three numbers. i don't know what the point of the scam is. look, i'm getting a call from myself.

let's see how i'm doing. but apparently that's going to start happening more and more until eventually apple will start charging us $2,000 for a phone that doesn't get calls. that would be the feature. so they're saying if you don't want these calls, the best way to avoid being targeted by scammers and telemarketers is to go into the settings on your phone and then just throw it into the sea. [ applause ] hey, here's another way our dearly lives are about to change. amazon is working on a whole new way to make humans obsolete. over the next three years, amazon is reported to be -- they have a plan to open 3,000 cashier-free stores called amazon go. you know howman ts y buy whatever you wan fm your house, now you'll be able to get in the car, drive to the store, park, buy the stuff, bring it all to your home all by yourself. it's a great idea. this would be like netflix

opening a chain of blockbuster video stores. but with no cashiers. does amazon realize if they take all the money we won't have any money left to give them every single day? here's something you should probably buy on amazon instead of the store. have you heard about the new batman comic? d.c. has a new limited comic book series called "batman damned" in which, for whatever reason, batman shows his penis. his penis is showing. at long last, fans of batman get a look under the utility belt and people are going nuts about this online. but you know, it's not that special to me. i work on hollywood boulevard. i see batman's penis, i don't know, three times a week, probably. also, batman has maybe the least interesting penis of any super hero there is. i'm more curious about what's going on with the hulk. like does that get angry? and even more so the human torch. does, like, does that part of

his body burst into flames too? these are the questions that keep me up at night. but what an amazing, amazing time to be alive. this past week alone, we've gotten detailed accounts of the president's and batman's genitals. we truly are #blessed. speaking of the president, this is interesting. donald trump's kgbff, vladimir putin, has reportedly been meddling with his mind. according to a new book by a national security correspondent for the "washington post," putin, who speaks to the president periodically on the phone, has been preying on his insecurity and paranoia. he tells trump that he knows a deep state conspiracy is trying to undermine his authority which is smart because other than the ones that implicate him, trump has never met a conspiracy theory he didn't believe and this is not the first time vladimir putin has tried to flatter trump and exploit his fears to gain influence over

him. back at their summit, looking back, it was pretty obvious he was doing it there too. >> translator: not only is president trump one of the most successful presidents in history, he's doing it while being undermined by the american deep state. he is highly intelligent and also one of the most muscular men i have ever seen. he has huge, rippling biceps and powerful, delicious thighs. i don't mind saying it. this guy is sexy. have you seen how hot his bottom looks to be in tennis shorts? melania is a lucky ladiment lady. >> thank you very much. >> jimmy: well, it's sweet what they have. it really is. you know, there's been a lot of storm coverage over the past week what with the storm and all, so -- and some of it was very well done and i want to take a moment to congratulate the gang at storm team 10 in

providence, rhode island, on winning the award this week for excellence in reporting. >> they are spreading across the outer banks and also into southeastern north carolina and as allison mentioned, storm surge is really the thing that we're going to be keeping an eye on even though this is the estimated path, making landfall tomorrow, around 7:00 in the morning, we're also looking at -- >> jimmy: i think it's bring your aunt to workday. as you know, in addition to my work as a beloved american talk show host, i am a feared and respected tv judge. some call me ruth bader jimsburg. that's true. from time to time, i hear cases along with my trusty bailiff, guillermo, these are real cases are real litigants who have agreed to put their fates in the well moisturized hands of judge

james. >> he claims he paid the landlord money for rent but he was evicted. he's suing for $1,815. this is the defendant. she says she was not paid rent and after kicking the plaintiff out of her house, she safely placed all of his valuables into a storage unit. it's the case of landlord have mercy. >> raise your right hand. >> what you are about to witness is real. the participants are not actors. they're actual litigants with a case pending in civil court. both parties have agreed to drop their claims to have their case decided here by judge james. >> jimmy: hi, i'm your honor, judge james. >> hello, judge. >> hi, good morning, judge. the litigants have been sworn in, your honor. >> jimmy: thank you, bailiff

guillermo. jaques is suing for $1,815. mr. leblanc, you claim you stayed at her house for three months, she suddenly locked you out for no reason, only allowed you to retrieve a few items she put in a storage cabinet outside and threw everything else away, is that correct? >> that's correct, judge james. >> jimmy: ms. burton, you claim the plaintiff planned to stay with you for a couple weeks but three months, you had to kick him out, you put his belongings in a storage unit where he retrieved everything. >> hold on, judge james. hold on. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you can sit down now. sorry. i forgot, judge james. >> jimmy: we all forget things. anyway, tell us what transpired here. >> we had talked with each other and decided that i would stay there to help her out with the bills and stuff like that. >> jimmy: did you pay any of the bills? >> yes, i did. i paid her rent. >> jimmy: did mr. leblanc pay you rent? >> of course not. >> jimmy: he did not. >> i did not pay your rent? >> who'd you give it to?

>> i gave her $350 one week and the next day, she went and got her hair done. with the money. she didn't pay the rent. >> jimmy: is your real name jaques leblanc? >> i'm from louisiana. it's french. >> jimmy: any relation to matt leblanc from friends kwoez? >> no. >> jimmy: mr. leblanc was there for three months. how much did you pay her in three months? >> i paid her about -- at least about $1,600 or $1,700. >> can you prove you made $1,600 or $1,700. >> jimmy: the judge has my receipts. >> please, i don't want to talk to you because you're so mean and rude. >> i sewure am. >> she is mean and ornery. >> jimmy: but she did let you move in. >> i was the only friend she had because no one deals with her. no one. >> really? >> jimmy: do you have other friends? >> i sure do. >> jimmy: will you name some of them. >> tanika, yolanda, tamika, morgan. >> i never seen none of those people when i was at the house. >> jimmy: morgan? >> none of them.

she's making them up. sugar's the one you were talking about so bad. >> just like i talk about you so bad. i'm that type. >> that's why you don't have no friends. >> jimmy: did you get all of your things? >> no, i did not, your honor and the list is right there, the things -- >> jimmy: i'm looking through this list. you're missing ties and bow ties, dress boots. what's this about sex toys? >> that's some craziness. >> jimmy: are you missing sex toys? >> no, i'm not. >> he came and got them. >> no. >> "younger nowyour honor, can question? how big is the sex toys? >> about this big. >> jimmy: that's a very good question. >> about a foot, 12 inches. >> she had a lot of them. >> no, i don't do sex toys, boo, that's you. >> your honor, i have text messages. >> me too. >> jimmy: well, we all have text messages, right? >> from her. >> judge james doesn't have any from me. >> may i read from the texts? >> you can. it's her. >> jimmy: bailiff, will you read

those texts aloud, please. >> this ain't a storage so give me my key and come and get your [ bleep ]. oh, your honor, can i say [ bleep ]? >> jimmy: i think you just did. >> go to the recycle lot because you [ bleep ] not here, dummy. >> jimmy: did you write this? go to the recycle lot because your [ bleep ]'s not here, dummy? but you're saying it wasn't at the recycle lot. >> no, it was still there. >> she threw my stuff away, your honor. she threw my things away. >> come get your stuff, give me my key. >> jimmy: some of these texts are very contentious. stop texting me because in a church where our weed smoking bipolar as should be with pastor. >> i was in church and she was texting me. >> jimmy: you sent that from church? >> yeah. >> i was upset. >> jimmy: oh, jesus is not going to be happy. at all. >> no, he's not. >> and did you give me my key? >> you said that the people changed your locks, didn't you

. >> i sure did but check the dates. >> jimmy: guys, i have to go to the bathroom. >> take your time. >> jimmy: then when i come back, i'll rule on this case. all right. keep an eye on everyone. >> i will. >> jimmy: all right. >> there's baby wipes in the right side in case you need them. >> will judge james deliver justice for jaques or lean toward latoya and is this woman tanika, tamika, yolanda or morgan? attention, this is an important announcement. do you suffer from diabetes, mesothelioma, a workplace injury or crohn's disease? put down the remote and pick up the phone. call the offices of weinstein and o'brienstein. >> they sued my fibromyalgia. thank you. >> we will fight your own body for you. don't delay. call today. >> this resentful renter claims the defendant tossed his treasures.

this livid landlord says the plaintiff sex toys were safely stored in the shed and this bored barrister is back from his bathroom break. judge james is about to rule. let's listen. >> jimmy: you may be seated. >> you found the baby wipes? >> jimmy: that's none of your business. so, i've been thinking about this case, and to be honest, i have a headache. i don't know what to make of any of this. i went through these receipts and seems like you're claiming full value for things that have been used. but i've come to a decision. i've decided that i'm going to award money to both parties on one condition. that each of you say something nice about the other. i, as a judge, will determine if it is nice enough. who would like to go first? >> i do. i love jaques. we fight like cats and dogs, by mad at him forever but unfortunately i love the dude. >> jimmy: that's very sweet.

jaques? >> i'm going to do better than that. >> well, all right. >> oh, my god. >> i love you. >> jimmy: i award $1,000 to each party, and i love you too, guillermo. >> all right. a very heartfelt, emotional conclusion to the case. let's bring in both parties. are you happy with judge james' verdict? >> yes, i am very happy with judge james' verdict. >> so i guess jaques is moving back in. >> no, but we're moving on to a different type of relationship. >> pretty good where i'm at. >> you have a thousand dollars worth of sex toys coming your way. >> no, i don't need those things. i'm pretty good. >> we're going to get this. all right. >> on the next judge james. >> jimmy: tell me about these leggings. >> she states that she believed that the other roommate stole her leggings but he's still the landlord. >> if you refer to california

tenant-landlord law. >> jimmy: please don't lecture me about the law. no one knows more about the law than i do. we got a good show for you. music from wiz khalifa, from the la dodgers matt kemp is here, and we'll be right back with mike epps. ♪ we the people, defined by the moments we share

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♪ >> jimmy: tonight, he is an all-star left fielder from the los angeles dodgers, matt kemp is here. then, his latest album is called "rolling papers two." wiz khalifa from the mercedes-benz outdoor stage. tomorrow night we have a new show with olivia wilde, noah centineo, and music from jungle.

and next month we're taking our show to brooklyn, new york for a whole week at the brooklyn academy of music. we'll be in town starting october 15th, and if you'd like to join us, go to kimmelinbrooklyn.com. tickets are free. so if anyone tries to make you pay, it's a scam. it's probably the russians. so be careful. our first guest is a very funny actor and comedian who is about to embark on his first-ever european comedy tour; presuming he makes it back, you can see him stateside at the microsoft theater here in l.a. october 12th, and shooting a new netflix special november 3rd in washington, d.c. please say hello to mike epps. [ cheers and applause ] >> what's up, jimmy. >> jimmy: i like this ensemble you put on. >> i appreciate it, jimmy.

>> jimmy: people would think i was trick or treating if i wore something like that. how's everything? last time you were here, kobe bryant was here and as i recall, your plan was to introduce your kids to him. did that occur? >> that did occur. >> jimmy: it did. how did that go? >> they were so happy to see kobe because they're laker fans, but kids, they're so nosey and they're always get out of kids. i'm thinking they was happy to see kobe and they was, and as soon as we got away from kobe, they start asking grown people questions. did kobe really get shaq kicked off the lakers? i'm like, that's grown people stuff. >> jimmy: not even, really. did kobe answer that question? >> no, no, kobe wasn't there. that's why i'm saying when we left, my kids asked me. i said, did you get that homework done like i asked you to. >> jimmy: at least they had the good sense to not ask that of kobe. although maybe he would have answered and it would have been -- you're a dodgers fan as well, i know that. >> oh, yeah, matt kemp. he knocked that home run last

night. matt kemp. >> jimmy: have you ever thrown out the first pitch at the dodgers game? >> i did. i got a chance to throw the first pitch out at the dodgers game and almost tore a rotator cuff throwing it. i was trying to throw hard because i tried out for baseball when i was in high school and it didn't work out as well. >> jimmy: why not? >> well, i would always try out for basketball teams and sports and i was good at them, but when the report cards came out, it was over with. so i would get to play two games out of the season and then my report card come out and they say, you might be able to play the last two if you get your grades right. >> jimmy: and did you get the grades right to play the last two in >> no. >> jimmy: what kind of grades did you get in school? >> i got pretty much straight fs, you know? i got held back in kindergarten so you know -- >> jimmy: did you really? >> how you get held back in the start? i asked my mother, what was i doing in there to get held back? we wasn't doing nothing but

coloring. >> jimmy: you must have went way outside the lines. >> i did. >> jimmy: wow. do you play any sports now, like for fun? >> yeah, i play a little sports. you know, i'm kind of a hobby guy. i like anything with wheels on them. >> jimmy: oh, is that right? >> yeah. shoes, sometimes, i'll be walking with my girlfriend and we'll just -- and i'll just start rolling. shail s she'll say what is that. i put wheels on the bottom of my shows. >> jimmy: she likes those or no? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you told me you like a motorcycle or go-karts or what? >> i ride unicycles, all cycles, one-wheeled bikes, you know, and i used to ride -- the reason why i started riding unicycles is because i used to sell reefer and when i was -- i was selling nickel bags when the police ride up, they wouldn't think to mess with me because i'm like this. and they were like, hey.

how'd you learn to ride that? i'm like, oh, man, i practiced when i was a kid. i got two bags in my hand. like this. . >> jimmy: how did you ever -- how does one even just get on a unicycle? where do you even see a unicycle in the first place? >> i used to go to the circus, to the barn no, ma'am and bailey circus. as soon as i rolled up on a girl that i liked on the wheel, she was like, you're a clown. >> jimmy: almost literally. we came across a fascinating artifact that i wanted to ask you about. this is a poster. >> oh, my god, where'd you get that at? >> jimmy: this is from steve, myra and kevin, aka splish splash productions, sedimeptembf 1995. a comedy show. there's tracy morgan in the middle and there's you right

there. a couple other guys. and there's the best legs contest also. >> is that crazy? >> jimmy: do you remember this at all? >> yes, this is an old flyer from 1990-something in the bronx, new york, i had a show with tracy morgan. i think me and him got paid like $15 apiece for that show. man, where'd you get that out? you must know one of my baby mamas because she the only one that got all my stuff. >> jimmy: do you have any memory of this particular event? like crazy sam was the special guest. who's that? >> crazy sam was from video music box and i mean, you had to have real security in there, because -- >> jimmy: why? >> because we were performing in front of drug dealers and killers and if you say the wrong joke, you might get shot on the stage. >> jimmy: is that true? were you fearful ever on stage? >> yeah. look, i mean, look at the flyer right here. this dude got 40 years in

federal. >> jimmy: kevin. >> oh, man. kevin is gone. myra's on the track now. and that's steve harvey. he was the promoter when -- no, i'm just playing. >> jimmy: i was like, wow, he really does work hard. mike epps is here with us. we'll be right back with mike after this. ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by jimmy john's new 9-grain wheat sub. wheat yeah, freak yeah. ♪ ♪ does this map show the peninsula trail? you won't find that on a map. i'll take you there. take this left. if you listen real hard you can hear the whales. >> jimmy: i was like, wow, he ♪ e ♪ you hear that? (vo) our subaru outback lets us see the world.

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♪ >> jimmy: we are back with matt kemp and wiz khalifa are on the way. you're about to go on your first european tour. where are you going? >> i'm going to london, amsterdam, hopen -- is it -- >> jimmy: you better figure it out. >> yeah, i better figure it out. yeah but it's my first time going out of the country, doing stand-up, because you know, it took a long time for me to get my passport. >> jimmy: did it? >> yeah. but i finally got it. >> jimmy: are you looking forward to it? do you feel like -- will they know there, like in copenhagen, for instance, where you don't even know the name of the city? >> yeah, i'm hoping they know me. and i've been thinking about

that, jimmy. i said now, how am i going to make these people laugh because i do such a -- my own type of comedy, you know, i'm like a black comic for real. i'm like >> jimmy: like a real american. >> no, a black comic, real black. you know what i mean? i haven't really considered myself a crossover comic yet because i'm -- and i love it. i love the position of it, and that's what it is. i'm going to go over there and try to convince them people, i mean, worst come to worst, i know how to talk about some people, so i'll go off on the audience if that's what somebody wants. >> jimmy: i bet you'll do great. who's coming with you on that trip? >> i got a guy named royel wa watkins that's one of my friends does stand-up back in the day. >> jimmy: i know who that is. >> i'm bringing me an opener guy. >> jimmy: no family members? >> no family members, man. couple of my friends, i tried to invite them to london and of

course they are convicted felons. >> jimmy: oh, okay. >> and they said, no, mike, i'm going to catch you in alabama when you get back in the states, man. >> jimmy: i want to ask you about a movie that you're making with eddie murphy. who else is in the movie? wesley snipes. >> wesley snipes, lunell is in the movie. what's the one guy's name? >> jimmy: i know. you have to tell me. is it copenhagen? i don't know. >> yeah. hopen hagen. this is a movie called donald trump, jr. -- "dolemite" a movie about a guy named rudy. >> jimmy: that was his alter ego. >> yeah, that was a character that he actually played and you know the king, eddie murphy. >> jimmy: he's playing dolemite. and to be in a movie with eddie murphy -- >> it's a dream come true. and i told him that when i seen

him. i said, man, you don't know how many times i got my butt whooped watching you on tv. you know? because when he was doing "saturday night live" and he was doing buckwheat just got shot, my mother whooped me for saying that a hundred times so to be standing there with him, it was just -- >> jimmy: was that meaningful to him? is it something that he hears so often that it doesn't even really make a dent? >> i tried to -- you know, i felt that way but i tried to not show him that. >> jimmy: i see. >> you know? because every now and then, i look over at him and he looks at me and i turn my head and the reason why i turn my head is because eddie murphy can play every character in this movie. he don't need none of us. >> jimmy: that's true. you posted a video that i do want to show and ask -- you posted on on instagram. that's wesley snipes. what is going on there?

antics in the make-up room. look at that. >> shoutout to wesley snipes, man. >> jimmy: did you ask him if you could post that before you did? >> i did because you know, we must not forget that wesley snipes was blade and he will jump up and right in the head. >> jimmy: well, it sounds like things are going great. have fun on that tour. >> thank you, man. >> jimmy: if you can't make it to europe, you can see mike at the microsoft theater here in lost october 12th and november 3rd, you're filming a netflix special. >> in d.c. watch the d.c. come out. i'm filming my netflix special in d.c. it's going to be incredible, man. >> jimmy: it's great to have you here. mike epps, everybody. we'll be right back. minimums and fees. they seem to be the very foundation of your typical bank. capital one is anything but typical. that's why we designed capital one cafes. you can get savings and checking accounts with

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>> jimmy: welcome back. matt kemp and music from wiz khalifa and lil skies is the on way, but first, grains. what are they? no one knows for sure, but jimmy john's has crammed nine of them into their new nine-grain wheat sub, a sandwich loved by all kinds of people, even dead people. >> oh, betty, i love our

romantic dinners. >> me too, especially when we can have them in creepy cabins in the middle of the woods. >> grains! >> i think they're zombies. look. i think they want to eat our brains! no! >> grains! grains! grains! >> oh, not brains. grains. >> of course. they just want ped our jimmy john's new nine-grain wheat subs, made fresh with the best ingredients in store every day. >> wow, what a hilarious misunderstanding. >> pardon me, sir, could i trouble you for some pickles? >> i didn't get any pickleals. >> pickles. >> pickles.

>> try the new nine-grain wheat sub. order delivery at jimmyjohns.com. >> hide your pickles! >> jimmy: we'll be right back with matt kemp. at at&t innovations, we give you more for your thing. here we're adding tv and movies from our unlimited plan to the powerful new samsung galaxy note9... ...the perfect device for entertainment & productivity. so, it's essentially the ed helms of devices? how so? well he's both very entertaining and very productive. you think? yeah, i do. and that's my completely unbiased opinion. buy a galaxy note9 and get one 75% off. more for your thing. that's our thing. >> jimmy: our next guest's

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still to come, wiz khalifa. our next guest's return to chavez ravine for a remarkable all-star comeback season has made for one of the best baseball stories of the year. he really missed those dodger dogs. from the playoff-bound los angeles dodgers, please welcome matt kemp. [ cheers and applause ] great to see you. >> good to be back. >> jimmy: let's go through your story, if we can. you came up in the dodgers organization. >> uh-huh. >> jimmy: you were a great player, mvp caliber series -- seasons, rather. you get an injury, you have a in

few seasons tough seasons, traded to the padres which is heartbreaking because you wanted to play for the dodgers your whole career. >> yeah. i got drafted by the dodgers in 2003, came up with them for eight, nine years and then got traded. that was a little bit tough. >> jimmy: who told you that you were going to san diego? who broke that news to you? >> it was the new gm, freedman. yeah, he called me. this was the first conversation i ever had with him. he was, like, hey, how you doing. this was after i knew i got traded. he was like, i know it's tough to talk to you like this, this is the first time us talking, and he told me i g the padres and then it was -- that's how it was. >> jimmy: and you were with the padres, you wind up in atlanta, dodgers go to the world series without you. was that difficult to watch? >> for sure it was difficult but i was definitely happy for kershaw and those guys.

>> jimmy: your buddies. >> those guys that i came up with and played with, so i definitely wanted them to win but i was a little bit, y know, jealous not being there with them because of course i want to play in the world series. >> jimmy: and then how did you find out, when you're in atlanta, how do you find out that you are going to be a dodger again? >> i was actually -- it was off season. i was at lunch with a bunch of friends because one of our friends was about to propose to his girlfriend so we were just trying to plan that out. he was trying to plan out, tell us how he was going to do that, but yeah, i got a call from my agent and he told me i got traded, and i asked him -- i asked him where and he started laughing. i'm like, what? and he goes, you got traded back to the dodgers. so, of course, i'm like, fist pumping. >> jimmy: you were happy. and now you're back. and then, you decide that you are going to go on some kind of a physical routine. >> no, first -- first, so, i found out i get traded to the

dodgers, and then freeman calls me again. the second conversation we had and he was like, i'm not quite sure what's going to happen. you might get traded again and i was just like, why? like i want to play in the world series. i want to be with my friends. i want to be back in l.a. and yeah, i just told him that i wanted to help these guys win as much as possible and i wanted to be part of something special, and he's like, well, i'll keep in touch with you and see what happens and work my butt off in the off season. >> jimmy: how much weight did you lose in the off season? >> enough. >> jimmy: somebody said you lost 50 pounds. is that true? >> people can say what they want. it doesn't matter. i lost enough. >> jimmy: yeah. and you come back. and now the dodgers, they took you in kind of like a money deal and they get this -- the great player again. >> i mean, i still got a lot to offer. i still got a lot of baseball left in me. it was definitely motivation to

come back and be in l.a. and play in front of a bunch of amazing fans. >> jimmy: today's an off day for the team. you guys have won seven out of your eight last games. when you're in a role like that, do you not want an off day? because maybe it might hurt the momentum? >> we definitely want off days. >> jimmy: what do you do on an off day when you're at home? >> i'm a little bit older now so i like to just hang out at home and watch tv. >> jimmy: you watch television. >> eat a little bit, just kind of hang out, gather my thoughts and kind of prepare for the next day because i mean, baseball is tough. you play 162 games. we play mostly every single day, so off days for us are rare. >> jimmy: tuesday was a very special day for you. >> uh-oh. >> jimmy: it was matt kemp bobble head night. >> that's pretty cool. >> jimmy: it doesn't look that much like you, i don't think. a little bit, i guess. >> i think it does a little bit. >> jimmy: yeah, i guess, it

could easily be either one of us. >> it's got the beard. >> jimmy: did you approve this design? >> we don't get any type of approval. they just put out whatever they come up with. >> jimmy: do they give you bobble heads? >> the first time i saw it literally was the day of the bobble head. i don't get to -- no. i don't want that. i want something different. >> jimmy: what do you mean you don't want -- >> we don't get to decide what pose. they got the beard. they got, you know, they got everything. they got that on the back. it's pretty good. i think it's pretty good. it got my green eyes. >> jimmy: did they give you a bunch of them for yourself? >> it's got the green eyes. >> jimmy: wow. i'm starting to fall in love with this bobble head yaseal puig has been on a tear. he's an insane person. >> they don't call him the wild

horse for nothing. >> jimmy: is he the most unusual guy you've played with in the major leagues? >> he's crazy. but i mean, crazy in a good way. he pitchsses a lot of people ofn the other side of the dugout, but you know, we embrace it. he brings a lot of energy to the field and he's been on a tear. you know, player of the week and game winning home run last night. we've been doing really good. we're playing really good, and we're getting hot at the right time. >> jimmy: yeah. it does seem like you're getting hot at the right time. is that -- is that something that just happens if it happens, or is it something that you feel like you can rest up and really turn it on? >> at the beginning of the year, i think most dodger fans were like, what's going on? we suck. and we're just like, still in the locker room, chilling, turning up. having a great time. because we knew how good we were. we knew what we were capable of. we don't panic. you know, we're where we want to be. we're right in the might games ago, nine games, something

like that. >> jimmy: nine games, i think. don't worry, i'm keeping track of all this stuff. >> so you know, we just had a good series and now we play the padres. >> jimmy: now you play your old teammates t p teammates, the padres. when you would come up to l.a., how would the dodgers fans react to you? >> they treated me good but it just sucked. >> jimmy: yeah. >> they would -- l.a. would come to san diego and there would be more dodger fans than padres and of course i would go to l.a. and it was always good to come home but it was kind of like mixed. there was a lot more claps than boos but you know, those boos, there was a lot of loud boos, especially all the drinking that's going on on the field, those people are mean. dodgers fa dodgers fans, if you're not on the right side of the dodger fans, you don't want to be in their good graces. >> jimmy: people think l.a. is laid back until they go to a dodgers game.

>> that's why they stop selling liquor after the seventh inning. >> jimmy: we're looking forward to a very deep post season. matt kemp, the post season begins with the national league wild card game, october 2nd on espn. we'll be right back with wiz khalifa. khalifa. ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.

>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. ♪ >> jimmy: i want to thank my guests and apologies to matt damon. this is his album, "rolling papers 2" here with the song "for real for real" with some help from lil skies, wiz khalifa! ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ for real for real my is real for real i'm in the field for real i'm about my check ♪ ♪ for real i'm

about my respect ♪ ♪ for real my diamonds are crystal clear i'm shining from ear to ear ♪ ♪ roll with the paper see them lames later can't save her stepped out ♪ ♪ now she saying what she really think rolling up pounds of dank open accounts ♪ ♪ no matter where we at smoking there and back ♪ ♪ eyes barely open not never smoking hit her once and she choke ♪ ♪ 2 k's that means it's potent can't overdose but my strain explosive trained to go ♪ ♪ my chain it glow everything you see i paid for gang or croak ♪ ♪ for real for real my is real for real i'm in the field for real i'm about my check ♪ ♪ for real i'm about my respect ♪ ♪ for real my diamonds are crystal clear i'm shining from ear to ear ♪ ♪ for real for real my is real for real heie for realout my check♪i'm about my respect ♪ ♪ for real my diamonds are crystal clear i'm shining from ear to ear ♪ ♪ i'm shining

from ear to ear stand my ground i ain't showing no fear ♪ ♪ i done came up like the top of the stairs these hate cause they cannot compare ♪ ♪ i'm in the crowd with the mosh pit i hit the stage and they show ♪ ♪ i'm in the game i can't forfeit honestly i'm a make more hits ♪ ♪ hop in the coupe and i swerve in your lady she gave me top because i am the greatest ♪ ♪ i stayed the same and then came all the changes you wanna know what it's like to be famous ♪ ♪ rolling up weed in public public skies be on all of that ♪ ♪ i'm balling like i got buckets got buckets and they hate cause we stunt like nothing ♪ ♪ for real for real my is real for real i'm in the field for real i'm about my check ♪ ♪ for real i'm about my respect ♪ ♪ for real my diamonds are crystal clear i'm shining from ear to ear ♪ ♪ for real for real my is real for real i'm in the field for real i'm about my check ♪ ♪ for real i'm about my respect ♪ ♪ for real my diamonds are crystal clear i'm shining from ear to ear ♪ ♪ yeah i'm 'bout the bag for real i'm 'bout that cash for real ♪ ♪ shawty got ass

for real if it's no mask it's for real ♪ ♪ i want that gas for real my trap for real ♪ ♪ run in the game you speak on me put big homie in front of my name ♪ ♪ for every one of you lames y'all unoriginal they all sound the same ♪ ♪ i stay balling money like a faucet it stay running running running i can't call it ♪ ♪ got the bug i think they caught it i'm with bosses ♪ ♪ for real for real my is real for real i'm in the field for real i'm about my check ♪ ♪ for real i'm about my respect ♪ ♪ for real my diamonds are crystal clear i'm shining from ear to ear ♪ ♪ for real for real my is real for real i'm in the field for real i'm about my check ♪ ♪ for real i'm about my respect ♪ ♪ for real my diamonds are crystal clear i'm shining from ear to ear ♪ ♪

this is "nightline." tonight, running while female. the recent in a latest series of attacks against female joggers, this time in an upscale d.c. neighborhood. and another woman's fight for her life. >> i just started beating the side of his head with the side of my hand. >> the steps some women are now taking to protect themselves. plus, salt society. it may look like a winter wonderland but there is an element of surprise. >> that's salty. >> the stunning salt flats in bolivia. more than just an instagram-worthy spot. the underground treasure powering you through your day. and -- >> oh my god! >> getting in my feelings with

drake. the latest on this bond with a little girl who