the weekend. we appreciate your time. i'm dan ashley. >> i'm ama >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- jennifer garner, from "a million little things," romany malco, dua lipa, guillermo on the road to brooklyn, mean tweets music edition, and music from ama winner carrie underwood. and now, hang in there. here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. ne. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. [ cheers and applause ] i'm glad you're excited.

it was -- today was -- what an exciting day it was today. let me tell you something. in this country the stars are lining up perfectly, and they are in perfect alignment because on thursday the doors of the white house will open to welcome none other than kanye west. that's right. the president of the united states is having lunch with kanye. now there's a devil's triangle for you, huh? am i the only one who would buy that lunch on pay-per-view? i would love to see what they talk about. they actually hinted, kanye and trump, the topics at the lunch are said to include prison reform, gang violence and how good it feels to unload like a maniac on twitter. [ laughter ] i just really -- my hope is that kanye bumps into my pence while he's there. mother and i enjoy your hip-hops very much. thanks. what is that conversation going to be like? i was thinking about it this afternoon. what is it that kanye west likes

about donald trump and i can't figure it out and then i saw a picture of him with kim. and it hit me. kanye loves a big ass. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] so the question now is how will the hysterical right wing media react to this? remember when obama invited common to the white house, all the fuss over that. >> he uses the "n" word and talks about cops, the reference about bush. >> italians. >> women. >> hang on a second. this is the president of the united states of america. you know what? this is not a good message for our kids. >> jimmy: right. if sean hannity thinks common sends a bad message to our kids, what must he think about kanye west? >> the president is getting some very public enthusiastic praise from one of america's most iconic rappers. kanye west takes a stand for freedom of thought and freedom of expression. we should all support this. >> jimmy: oh, well, okay then.

good for sean. he's evolving. [ laughter ] he really is. kanye is headed to the white house as yet another star team trumper is on her way out of the white house. nikki haley, trump's ambassador to the united nations, surprised everyone today by resigning. she plans to leave the white house by the end of the year. she said she wants to spend more time away from trump's family, and -- [ laughter ] the president was very keen to spin this particular resignation as a mutually agreeable move, so he and haley announced it together today, and trump seemed very sad to see her go. >> so, nikki, i just wanted to tell you we'll miss you. we'll be speaking over time and you've done a fantastic job and thank you very much. >> thank you. >> jimmy: mostly thank you for not writing a book about me. the book, of course, is called "haley's vomit." [ laughter ] just as soon as she leaves it's going to come out. [ cheers and applause ] truth be told, according to cnn

haley told her staff this morning she's leaving because she's done two years and it's time to move on. someone should tell donald trump that, right? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] can you believe it? two years. let me help you with that stuff. trump also floated the possibility of nikki haley coming back to work for him in another capacity, and watch how she reacts to this. >> we're all happy for you in one way, but we hate to lose you. hopefully you'll be coming back at some point, but you want -- maybe in a different capacity. you can have your pick. >> jimmy: hold on. i'm not a body language expert. let's get a closer look at that. >> hopefully you'll be coming back at some point. >> ha ha ha! >> jimmy: yeah, no, yeah. she's -- she's not ever coming back. she might not even finish out that meeting, but the good news is trump already has a terrific candidate in mind to replace nikki haley. >> i've heard a lot of names. i've heard ivanka. i've heard how -- how good would ivanka be?

the people that know, nothing to do with nepotism, but i want to tell you the people know know that ivanka would be dynamite and then i'd be accused of nepotism if you can believe it, right? yes. >> would she be good for that job? >> i think ivanka would be incredible. doesn't mean i'd -- you know. i'd pick her -- you'd be accused of nepotism even though i'm not sure there's anybody more competent in the world but that's okay. >> jimmy: what are the odds of the most competent person in the world just happens to be my daughter? [ laughter ] poor donald jr. is in a tree stand somewhere in north dakota watching that on his phone and crying just a single tear. the president today continued to lash out at protesters who went to washington over the weekend to speak out against brett kavanaugh. you know, our president believes in a lot of nutty conspiracies, climate change is a hoax started by the chinese. the millions of illegal voters thing, the witch hunt, obama being born in kenya, but this one is special because now he's

got a conspiracy theory about his conspiracy theory. this morning he tweeted,the paid d.c. protesters are now ready to really protest because they haven't gotten their checks. in other words, they weren't paid. screamers in congress and outside were far too obvious, less professional than anticipated by those pay paying or not paying the bills. and he doubled down on that. >> you know, a lot of those were paid protesters. you saw that. they are all unhappy, because they haven't been paid yet. i've been calling it. >> jimmy: you see, they were paid but they haven't been paid. [ laughter ] so many wackos have convinced each other that all these people out there protesting were actors paid by some shadowy financier. george soros is a big one they mention because when you go george soros you get that little hint of anti-semitism that gives a conspiracy some zest. no one was paid to protest. there's zero evidence of that so trump quite brilliantly i must say made that into the conspiracy.

the paid protesters haven't even been paid, and the thing is it all comes back around because you know who actually did hire a bunch of people to show up and pretend to be supporters at his campaign announcement and then didn't pay them for months afterwards? donald j. trump, that's right. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] we are screwed. this is not a hoax. no matter what he says. there's a new report from the intergovernmental panel on climate change that says we have 12 years to get our acts together or we'll face catastrophic events including flooding, droughts, wildfires, disease, and mass death. basically we're in the first act of a michael bay movie right now. bruce willis is nowhere to be found. the craziest part of it is the trump administration issued their own report that agrees that climate change is going to be a catastrophe, but concludes, this is not an exaggeration that we're doomed anyway so why bother doing anything about it? that's the official policy of the white house. but i'll tell you something. there's always a silver lining

and one planet's calamity is another planet's shopportunity. >> attention, galaxy, planet earth is going out of business and everything must go. we've lost our minds! insane deals on everything, everything on earth. panda bears, sequoias, pore cue pibs, insects, reptiles, amphibi amphibians, artificial pine trees, st. patrick's cathedral, bats, salmon, tide pods, james vanderbeek, priced to sell before we live in hell. act fast because planet earth is over soon. when it is gone, it is gone! the planet earth going out of business sale. it's time to say good-bye. exit 14, alpha centaury, then third from the sun. >> jimmy: it's true, right? we're living in a day of blockbuster videos.

next week we're taking our show on the road to brooklyn, new york, doing five shows from the brooklyn academy of music on monday. guillermo is on his way there, traveling cross country by bus. his first stop was in dallas where he dropped a bombshell on the host of "good morning, texas." >> speaking of the secrets that are inside that bus, we want you to tell us one secret about jimmy kimmel that we don't know. just a little secret, maybe something he does on the road, when you're traveling. >> guillermo: oh, one secret that i know from jimmy. >> about jimmy. >> guillermo: oh, my god. that jimmy is not a good dancer. he is not. he's not a good dancer. >> jimmy: okay, that was hurtful because i happen to dance like an angel. [ laughter ] and that wasn't all that little rat had to say. >> guillermo: can i tell another secret? >> oh, we'd love it. >> guillermo: jimmy loves to eat and he -- he's like me. he doesn't like to do exercise at all, but we love to eat. >> he doesn't do any exercise?

you are saying he likes to eat and doesn't like to exercise, are you saying that he's getting on the chunky side? >> guillermo: no, no, i am on the chunky side. no, he's not. he's in great shape. you look good. he looks great. he's a great boss, a great human being. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. nice, nice. i wonder how he's going to get home and what he's going to do for work when he does get home. [ laughter ] this is the vehicle guillermo is traveling in, a state of the art guillermo-bile and he's at the busy bee cafe in atlanta. there he is, guillermo at the busy bee. [ cheers and applause ] oh, my goodness, wow, look at this. wow. all right. guillermo. [ cheers and applause ] hi, everybody. hey, i see you have -- you've got some friends there, huh, guillermo? introduce us to the fellows. guillermo, can you hear anything i'm saying? guillermo, did you eat your microphone?

introduce us to the guys. >> guillermo: jimmy, i got lil john and wakaflaka. >> jimmy: li limit john and wakaflaka. are you guys regulars there at the busy bee? >> always. >> i used to live on the street, right down the street. >> jimmy: what are you eating right now, lil john? >> we've got some chicken and some kind of rice dish and some yams! >> jimmy: healthy. have you had any -- i heard they have ox tail on the menu there. have you had any of that? >> i don't eat ox tail. waka might. >> jimmy: no, ox tail. >> i'm sure guillermo will get some for the bus ride. >> jimmy: guillermo, bring some ox tail to brooklyn, will you. >> guillermo: for sure, jimmy. you got it! >> jimmy: okay, thank you. well, i just wanted to check in, say hello to everybody there, see how thins were going. i heard you don't like sleeping on the bus, guillermo.

>> guillermo: not at all, jimmy. it's too cold. plus, we got seven guys in the bus, and only one restroom. it's too much. >> why are you shouting, uillermo? we can hear you, bro. >> jimmy: got guillermo a very special bus driver for his trip. do we have a video of the bus driver? i guess it's gotten a little bumpy. guillermo, it looks like you've made yourself right at home at the busy bee and where are you headed tomorrow? >> guillermo: who cares about tomorrow? tequila shots! >> jimmy: all right. [ cheers and applause ] all right. all right, guillermo is going to chicago tomorrow, and enjoy that tequila, >> guillermo: i won't. >> jimmy: thank you. thank you, gentlemen. lil john and wakaflaka, thank you, gentlemen. [ cheers and applause ] tonight on abc the american music awards were awarded to

americans and more. music fans can be very passionate. some love to express their enthusiasm and some they like to express their lack of enthusiasm, and from time to time we like to shine a spotlight on the unpleasant things people post on social media. tonight we've done it again in an all music edition of mean tweets. [ cheers and applause ] >> gwen stefani really is the worst thing to ever happen, period, full stop, #ugh, barf. owie. >> one of my employees were talking about how the chain smokers are pretty good and don't deserve all the hate so i fired him. >> tyga pants too tight. #[ bleep ]. >> trying to decide which is worse, maroon 5, hitler, or

imagine dragons. >> ouch. >> i like some of the songs, but my god she sings like a goat being [ bleep ] in the ass. >> why is jason meraz the unofficial soundtrack for [ bleep ] barbecues? >> people say that i should be more positive. okay. i'm positive that luke bryan is a horse-tooth, [ bleep ], air-humping boofus. >> jason derulo sucks [ bleep ]. >> what the [ bleep ] is a dua lipa? sounds like a sloppy [ bleep ]. >> the stroke's worst piece of [ bleep ] band ever made period. >> yeah. >> pink is aging pretty well for a pig. thank you. >> elvis costello is a really great artist if you're a hipster. [ bleep ]. >> shout-out to schoolboy q. he ugly than a [ bleep ]. sure i am.

>> g easy is like the american cheese of cheeses. or like the boxed wine of wines. or some other [ bleep ] thing. >> the fact that luke combs looks like the guy who changes your oil at jiffy lube. >> mylie cyrus is a smelly pirate hooker. >> [ bleep ] those guys more than nickelback. >> oh, that's low, dog. >> ouch. >> i would rather stab myself in the taint than hear another nickelback song. that's funny, that's how we make nickelback songs. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> there you go. score one for nickelback. tonight on the show, we have music from carrie underwood, romany malco is here, and we'll be right back with jennifer garner.

from the start, the c-class was ahead of its time. [ indistinct radio chatter ] still, we never stopped making it stronger. faster. smarter. because to be the best, is to never ever stop making it better. introducing the new c-class. visit your local mercedes-benz dealer for exclusive offers. take prilosec otc and take control of heartburn. so you don't have to stash antacids here... here... or, here. kick your antacid habit with prilosec otc. one pill a day, 24 hours, zero heartburn.

are yoget in.ready? get in. get in. get in. get in. wait, scoot over! scoot over! ahhhh! ♪ boys, we gotta back up, just a little bit, back up... back up...back up... stay in the frame... stay in the frame... willow, just stay in the frame! hey, mitch, could you ah... ...scootch in? i'm trying to take a selfie. wait, one sec... whoa! smile! ♪ ♪ do you ♪ the 3 for $10 deal it's hot got a cheesy up-grade ♪ ♪ we added a burger, now topped with our queso ♪ ♪ it's que-so-amazing, que-so see you soon ♪ ♪ 3 for $10 bucks, baby, bucks, baby, bucks ♪ mmm-hmm... ♪ oh, baby, 3 for $10 bucks ♪ ♪ baby, bucks, baby, bucks ♪ but allstate actually helps you drive safely... with drivewise. it lets you know when you go too fast... ...and brake too hard. with feedback to help you drive safer.

giving you the power to actually lower your cost. unfortunately, it can't do anything about that. now that you know the truth... are you in good hands? wow, that's an pretty great, huh?low. if you're a banana. i find it very...appealing. new kellogg's raisin bran with bananas. two scoops meet real banana slices. i've done a great job of raisin ya. ♪ al♪ tell me all the ways s♪♪ and he said ♪ ♪ girl, you take care of me ♪ ♪ you are my thera♪y ♪ the better half of me ♪ say it again ♪ ♪ if you love me ,love me, love me ♪ like you say ♪ ♪ darling tell me all the ways ♪ tell me all the ways ♪ now, we're bringing you all the ways to get what you need. target run & done.

>> jimmy: look at that. our band and our announcer and everything. hi, welcome back. tonight from the new show "a million little things," which airs wednesday nights here on abc, romany malco is then straight from the american music awards, this is her

latest album debuted at number one. it's called "cry pretty," carrie underwood from the mercedes-benz outdoor stage. [ cheers and applause ] tomorrow night, jamie lee curtis and olivia hamilton will join us, and we'll have music from dua lipa. dua lipa broke into my home in the middle of the night and terrorized me. in my home, and they caught it all on video. we have that for you to see a little bit later on in the show. you know, last time our first guest starred in a television show, george bush was president, taylor swift sang country music and kim kardashian had 300 friends on myspace. she is back with a funny new show called "camping." >> do you want me to sign anything? a waiver, a photo release? >> not unless you're famous. are you? are you famous? because we don't watch much tv. >> i have a fairly popular instagram account. maybe you recognize me from that. cresting 11,000 followers. it's mostly for other working moms and women living with chronic pain.

>> jimmy: it's fun. "camping" premieres sunday night on hbo. please welcome jennifer garner. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you? [ cheers and applause ] >> hi. >> jimmy: nice to see you. you look beautiful. thank you for coming. you know, i -- i just -- you know, obviously you're very talented and very lovely and all of those things, but you baked a coffee cake for us today that i tasted before the show, and it is unbelievably good. did you really bake that. >> i really will baked it. >> jimmy: you didn't pick it up at a place on the way in? >> no. >> jimmy: and lena dunham was here last week and she talked about this blueberry buckle cake. >> that's kind of why i had to do it. >> jimmy: oh, my god, it was really, really good. >> so glad. did you really try it?

>> jimmy: huh. of course i tried it. >> you're so trim and fit now. you're not carb-free? >> jimmy: i got spanx and duct tape going on. >> don't we all. >> jimmy: lena said -- she requested that you bake this cake. >> well, do you know what happened is that i -- this blueberry buckle tradition goes back to charleston, west virginia, when i worked at a men's store. at the end of every summer i would make blueberry buckle for all the tailors and the people who worked there. then when i was on "alias" i made it for the crew every year. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> j.j. abrams was in a conversation with lena dunham and jenny conor and he told them she will make blueberry buckle. i hadn't made it in a long time and i felt like now the gauntlet has been thrown. >> jimmy: yeah. >> so i had to make the blueberry buckle, but the difference is that now nobody eats carbs. so -- >> jimmy: for real? >> for real. i mean, "alias" was in -- i

don't know. >> jimmy: before we all decided carbs were the devil, yeah. [ laughter ] >> so it would be consumed. i'd get a coffee truck and everyone would have the best time. everyone would eat it, i would eat it. now i would just be like, people, my whole house smells like a blueberry muffin factory. eat that. eat that buckle. [ laughter ] sick, sick bastards. >> jimmy: that is -- to let that blueberry buckle sit there and not be eaten. >> it didn't. they were forced. >> jimmy: you should work at our show. everyone will eat the blueberry buckle. even the ants are disappointed because there's no crumbs left on the cake. >> good. >> jimmy: it's funny to see you in this show. you are a very nice person, to see you playing -- >> thank, jimmy. >> jimmy: -- some different kind of version. you like that, playing like an annoying person? [ laughter ] >> is that nice that he just called my character annoying? >> jimmy: well, your character is a little bit annoying. >> well, i like to play nice, uplifting people.

my mom likes it when i play nice people. >> jimmy: she does. >> she does, but every now and then you want to keep the other moms and other girl scout leaders and the pta, you want to just remind them that i could go this way. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: don't get too comfortable. >> it could be. as a matter of fact, you know what i did yesterday, this is true. the girl scouts were volunteering at this incredible organization, baby to baby, and i was one of the girl scout leaders, and i showed up in my minivan at school and i had a minivan full of kids and someone handed me the snack, and i took them to baby to baby to volunteer reserve and the rest of them had gone to a different location. and i was just there. and i just showed up with five kids in green vests and it was just like, we're here! >> jimmy: and no one was there. >> well, someone was there, thank goodness, and they said oh, you're going to volunteer because in l.a. once you've gotten somewhere you're not going to -- >> jimmy: you stay. >> i said, kids, this is an example of bloom where you're

planted. [ laughter ] and we just cleaned up and volunteered right where we were. >> jimmy: speaking of blooming where you're planted. you bought a farm, like a big farm. >> i did. >> jimmy: where's the farm? >> it's a farm that -- i mean, i bought it, but it's my family's farm. it's the farm my mom grew up on. it's in locust grove, oklahoma. it's beautiful. >> jimmy: locust grove. is it swarming with locusts there? >> thank goodness, no, but my mom did grow up there in the dust bowl depression and grew nothing at all except for a big, big summer garden and now it's in my care. my uncle robert lives there, and now it's making -- we're planting. it's actually going to be -- >> jimmy: are you going to plant blueberries for more buckles? [ laughter ] >> we're planting 700 blueberry bushes next week. >> jimmy: oh, really, wow. >> yeah. 700 blueberry bushes, 50 persimmon trees, and a ton of kale. >> jimmy: how are you going to eat all that have? >> i'm going to make buckle for you, jimmy. >> jimmy: i'll eat it all.

>> it's all for this company that i'm a co-founder of called once upon a farm that's fresh, organic, cold-pressed baby food. >> jimmy: you're actually growing the food yourself. [ applause ] >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's fun. >> isn't that cool? >> jimmy: that's very cool. you had another interesting thing going on. i like all this stuff you're into. >> oh, yes. >> jimmy: you have bees in your house? >> they are not in my house because that would be uncomfortable. >> jimmy: on your land. >> this is at my house, in my yard. i have bee hives and that's me. >> jimmy: where do you get a beekeeper's uniform? >> amazon, just like anything else. [ laughter ] it's a beekeeper's uniform, you use duct tape around the edges. >> jimmy: wear it for halloween. >> sure, good idea. >> jimmy: do the kids get into >> the bees? >> the kids is why we had it. had a book about beekeeping and my daughter got into it and i thought why can't we have bees. bees are in trouble and everyone should have a hive of bees.

[ applause ] >> jimmy: no, not everyone. >> yes. you can have a hive of bees. >> jimmy: what if you live in an apartment in new york city? >> duh, put them on the roof, it's like the cool thing to do. >> jimmy: are there killer bees we have to worry about because growing up i feared for the africanized bees would come and chase us. >> we have nice bees. >> jimmy: oh, you do. >> my kids, if you open it, once they're smoked, you give them a little something -- >> jimmy: marijuana? [ laughter ] >> i don't know. >> jimmy: you have stoner bees? >> i can't believe that i even knew how to do that. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> jimmy: being real. >> you open up the hive and you pull it out and then kids can say -- your teen could in just a minute. she could say, that's a worker, that's a drone, that's a guard, you know, if you see the queen you know. >> jimmy: you can tell right away which ones are doing what jobs. nobody gets stung? >> no. >> jimmy: do you take the honey

out yourself? >> no. i look at it and watch the nice man do it, but i wear the outfit so that's really -- >> jimmy: you're a regular farmer's market, you really are. >> i know, isn't that something? >> jimmy: congratulations on the show. it's called "camping" that premieres sunday night 10:00 on hbo. jennifer garner, everybody. we'll be right back with dua lipa. ♪ you are so beautiful... to meee... ♪ ♪ ...can't you seeeeee? ♪ you're everything i've hoped for... ♪ ♪ you're everything i need... ♪ you are so beautiful... [explosion, screaming & sirens] ♪ ...to meeeeeeee. [explosion, screaming & sirens] toyota. let's go places. ♪

fast, reliable internet is crucial. does it every go down? yes. can't do my job. business grinds to a halt.

our gig-speed network not only downloads files up to 20 times faster, we go beyond fast with 4g backup for complete reliability. so if the unexpected happens... (snaps fingers) you stay up and running. we lost power... but not to that. i want that. (laughing) for a limited time get fast, reliable internet and add voice for just $24.95 more per month. call now. comcast business. beyond fast.

>> jimmy: welcome back. romany malco and music from carrie underwood is on the way. but first, i have fallen victim, once again, to a prank. for whatever reason, my wife thinks it's funny to have a famous singer and a bunch of dancers sneak into my house in the middle of the night to wake me up with an impromptu performance. this started with -- who was the first one? rihanna did it. and then britney spears did it like six months later and then miley cyrus as well. and wouldn't you know it, dua lipa came to town and it happened again. >> wish me luck. hi. i heard jimmy likes electricity so we're about to find out how much he really loves it.

ssh. my heart is beating so much. [ alarm ] ♪ ♪ even if i could i wouldn't turn on you ♪ ♪ i will never hurt you ♪ i feel it i can notice deny wake up! come on! ♪ ♪ i wanna let you know ♪ i'll never let this feeling go ♪

♪ this feeling i cannot deny hey! ♪ electricity so what did you think? do you like electricity? >> jimmy: i'm pleasantly surprised. what is that? >> anyway. good night. >> jimmy: oh, good night. thanks. you're welcome to stay if you want. wand to my wife? . >> i think we did good. >> i think you did great from the sound of it. >> i think we did really good. how much do you hate us right now? >> you know, this keeps happening to me, i don't know. >> hi. . >> jimmy: hi, welcome, welcome. >> thanks for having us.

>> jimmy: can i make anyone pancakes or anything? ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah, well there you go. thank you. for a minute when i saw what she was wearing with the white shirt and orange shorts, i thought i was having a dream about hooters. thank you, dua, for leaping on my bed. we'll be right back with romany malco. malco. tremfya® is for adults with moderate to severe plaque psoriasis. with tremfya®, you can get clearer. and stay clearer. in fact, most patients who saw 90% clearer skin at 28 weeks stayed clearer through 48 weeks. tremfya® works better than humira® at providing clearer skin, and more patients were symptom free with tremfya®. tremfya® may lower your ability to fight infections and may increase your risk of infections. before treatment, your doctor should check you for infections and tuberculosis. tell your doctor if you have an infection or have symptoms such as: fever, sweats, chills, muscle aches or cough. before starting tremfya® tell your doctor if you plan to or have recently received a vaccine. ask your doctor about tremfya®.

tremfya®. because you deserve to stay clearer. janssen wants to help you explore cost support options. ♪ ♪please, let me catch my breath,♪ ♪let me catch my [breathing sound] ♪ok ♪please let me catch my [breathing sound] ♪let me catch my ♪ ♪catch, come on

♪catch come on ♪catch come on ♪let me catch my [breathing sound] ♪ i don't care where we go ♪ and i don't care what we do ♪ just take me with you there are roadside attractions. and then there's our world-famous on-road attraction. the 2019 glc. visit your local mercedes-benz dealer for exclusive offers. welcome to your 24 hour t.j.maxx, tjmaxx.com with more styles every day and easy returns in store. you'll find must-have brands at must-buy prices any hour of the day. shop in store or online and save at t.j.maxx. endless shrimp is back at with all the shrimp you want, any way you want them. there's new sesame-ginger grilled shrimp wi ssoy-ginger sauce

and sprinkled with asian seasoning. and favorites like garlic shrimp scampi! but endless shrimp won't last endlessly, so hurry in. ♪ the new capital one savor card. earn 4% cash back on dining and 4% on entertainment. now when you go out, you cash in. what's in your wallet? now when you go out, you cash in. nosy neighbor... witglad bag full of trashl. what happens next? nothing. only glad has febreze to neutralize odors for 5 days. guaranteed. even the most perceptive noses won't notice the trash. be happy, it's glad™. and that means you can get the amazing new iphone xs! and it has a 5.8-inch super retina oled display. now that's a reason to party!

switch to sprint today and you can get the new iphone xs for just $0 per month from sprint.

take us downtown, waze. waze integration- seamlessly connecting the world inside with the world outside. making life a little easier. ♪ the new well-connected 2019 lincoln mkc.

♪ [ telephone ringing ] -whoa. [ indistinct talking ] -deductible? -definitely speaking insurance. -additional interest on umbrella policy? -can you translate? -damage minimization of civil commotion. -when insurance needs translating, get answers in plain english at progressiveanswers.com. ♪ -he wants you to sign karen's birthday card. it's a high honor. -he wants you to sign karen's birthday card. what's the #1 new skincare product in 2018? olay whips. absorbs faster than the $100, $200, and even $400 cream. feels amazing. i really really love this. i will 100% swap up my moisturizer. can i have it? olay whips. ♪ al♪ tell me all the ways s♪♪ and he said ♪ ♪ girl, you take care of me ♪ ♪ you are my thera♪y ♪ the better half of me ♪

say it again ♪ ♪ if you love me ,love me, love me ♪ like you say ♪ ♪ darling tell me all the ways ♪ tell me all the ways ♪ now, we're bringing you all the ways to get what you need. target run & done. before discovering nexium 24hr to treat her frequent heartburn, claire could only imagine enjoying chocolate cake. now she can have her cake and eat it too. nexium 24hr stops acid before it starts for all-day, all-night protection. can you imagine 24 hours without heartburn?

♪ my love has come along, applebee's new neighborhood pastas. now that's eatin' good in the neighborhood. applebee's new neighborhood pastas. i'm adam, and i make robots. the new surface pro can handle all of my programs. i can paint, i can mold, i can code. i can take an idea from a sketch and turn it into a real product in one device. it's pretty amazing. when i went on to ancestry, i just put in the name yes, we are twins. of my parents and my grandparents. i was getting all these leaves and i was going back generation after generation. you start to see documents and you see signatures of people that you've never met.

i mean, you don't know these people, but you feel like you do. you get connected to them. i wish that i could get into a time machine and go back 100 years, 200 years and just meet these people. being on ancestry just made me feel like i belonged somewhere. discover your story. start searching for free now at ancestry.com.

>> jimmy: welcome back. carrie underwood is on the way. our next guest is a talented man you know from "weeds," "the 40-year-old virgin," "night school," and many more. his new show is called "a million little things," watch it wednesday nights on abc. please welcome romany malco. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you know, i haven't seen you in a long time. >> it has been a long -- we need to get up a before and after of this, brother. because he's looking amazing. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's very nice of you. >> inspiring, too. >> jimmy: i haven't seen you in a while.

i feel like i see you every day because there's three billboards on my drive to work, a lot of billboards for your show. >> you're not lying. them billboards are trouble, too. >> jimmy: why? >> people are just coming out of the woodwork asking me for money. >> jimmy: who is? >> i got family. people that say they're family. people come, hey, rome. i'm like, my name's rom. yo, dude, i'm trying to get to our family reunion and can i get $500 from you? i'm like, $500 from me? what family reunion? our family reunion. yeah, sure, you want it on paypal? >> jimmy: this is a family reunion you didn't know about? >> ain't no family reunion. i go to my cast members. i'm like, yo, yo. are you getting calls from people just asking you for money? they're like, no. i'm like, okay, this is a caribbean thing. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: is that right? is it a caribbean thing? >> hey, junior, you think i could get $200, my dog is sick. >> jimmy: how do you handle that if the dog is sick, you have to give the $200? >> they guilt trip me. you know, i happen to be a veterinarian.

really. let me get that address, bro, and if they say their address is like in nigeria, i'm yeah, like, yeah. >> jimmy: not the way to go. where are you, from trinidad? >> i'm the first american born in my family. the first american born. i went to school off and on in new york, trinidad, and bay town, texas. i lived in the projects, i lived in the caribbean, i've also lived in like trailer parks. >> jimmy: and now you live in puerto rico part of the time, right? >> we moved to puerto rico, and we ended up having to relocate because of the hurricane, but, you know, i -- i just needed a break. i needed to be outside of the grid, man, and puerto rico is just beautiful, festive, adult playground. >> jimmy: so interesting to me that you moved to puerto rico and you're always working on all this stuff. you're able to do that. >> you just make the sacrifice, bruh. i love the caribbean and people are really festive. it don't matter how many hurricanes hit puerto rico they will find a reason to party. >> jimmy: is that right? >> dude. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how are things in puerto rico right now?

>> say that again. >> jimmy: how are things in puerto rico? >> if i keep it 100, puerto rico is fairly recovered and it's really beautiful and it's great in this weird way. because a lot of people have woken up and now they are doing a lot more solar panels. >> jimmy: right. >> finding more unique ways to generate and use energy. but then there are a lot of people, more so in the center of the island, who aren't as privileged and don't live in privileged areas who are still honestly struggling and needing resources to rejuvenate their communities. it's hard to watch schools being closed down and stuff like that, but you roll out there and i guarantee you there's a party going on somewhere. >> jimmy: if you visit, the tourism definitely helps puerto rico. >> 100%. if you roll out -- let me make it really clear. you go to rincon, dorado, san juan, any place like that in puerto rico, you're not going to want to come home, i promise you. >> jimmy: is that right? >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: are people in trinidad upset that you're on a different island?

is there a rivalry between the two islands? >> you know what, not really. real talk. the real rivalry is usually -- not a rivalry because the people in the caribbean are so inclusive. but the real rivalry is between the different islands and who can wine better. do y'all know what wining is? >> jimmy: complaining. >> no, not that kind, no, no. can a brother get a little beatbox? ♪ >> you have different styles of wiping. trinidad has the happy wine. they be like this right here. ♪ and then you got jamaicans, they are like -- ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you've got to teach me that. i like that. i would love to learn if you could maybe stay after the show and teach me to do that, because there's a bad rumor going around that i don't know how to dance. >> dude, dude. i got your back. >> jimmy: started by somebody

who used to work here. [ laughter ] >> yes. i got your back, bro. i got your back. >> jimmy: tell us about this show. for those who haven't see the billboard and called you for money, "a million little pieces." >> "a million little things." >> jimmy: not a comedy. usually you're in things that are pretty light. "weeds." >> and "night school." >> jimmy: this is a pretty heavy show. >> it is really heavy, and, you know, the sacrifice that i made for myself is i wanted to make sure that i got involved in projects that helped further my purpose. i feel like i'm happiest when i feel like i'm doing something for the world and i felt as though this was a great opportunity. that wasn't happening on "weeds"? >> that's what it is, when i do this show, people come to me and say i feel as though you're helping tell my story and making me feel less alone where that makes me feel like i'm in a good place. >> jimmy: yeah. >> you know, with "weeds" people would come up to me and say, i saw that last episode, you wanna

smoke a bowl? [ laughter ] and it's hard, too, because you walking around with a hoodie, and people think, oh, conrad, and they put weed in the back of your hood can we. >> jimmy: really? >> fill the hoodie. i used to get boxes of dog food and it's like why are people sending me dog food? it wasn't dog food, bro. the dog food just throws off the scent. try this, dog. oh, i get it, but, yes, it's a different feeling. nice to be on a job that feels like i won't end up in jail. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, the timing with the law was really bad for you. great to see you. please come back again a lot sooner. the show, called "a million little things," yes. >> always do this when we're ending. i just want to say. wednesday night there's going to be a really big reveal on our show. if you've seen the show we're going to find out about -- i want you to be patient with us. we're going to all find out. the cast, the other characters are going to find out about the affair, okay? be patient with us because it

could get really, really ugly and another thing is going to happen. i'm going to figure out how to get rid of this knot on the side of my head so stick with us. >> jimmy: romany malco. watch "a million little things" tomorrow night at 10:00 p.m. here on abc. we'll be right back with carrie underwood. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.

>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: i want to thank my guests and apologies to matt damon. her album is called "cry pretty." here with the song "ghosts on the stereo," carrie underwood. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ you think i'm crying over you you think i'm dying too ♪

♪ you think i'm thinking way too much ♪ snowed sadly out of touch ♪ ♪ with all the world and all my friends well think what you want ♪ ♪ and think again think again 'cause what you don't know ♪ ♪ is i'm throwin' a party and everybody tonight is feelin' alright with ♪ ♪ some jack in their coke the records are spinnin' and the mo♪ ♪ there ain't no last call i'm havin' a ball with hank haggard and jones ♪ ♪ no i ain't alone i feel right at home with my ghosts on the stereo ♪ ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh

ooh ♪ ♪ there ain't no lights on the curtains drawn just one car in the drive ♪ ♪ and the neighbors might think it's a haunted house but i've never felt so alive ♪ ♪ 'cause what they don't know is evyby t feen' party and alright ♪ ♪ with some jack in their coke the records are spinnin' ♪ ♪ and the speakers are smokin' there ain't no last call i'm havin' a ball with ♪

ain't alone i feel right at home ♪ ♪ with my ghosts on the stereo ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪ with my ghosts on the stereo ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ one song at a time i get their advice and the pain melts away like whiskey on ice ♪ ♪ baby you don't know that i'm throwin' a party and everybody tonight is feelin' alright ♪spn' spears are smokin' ♪i' havin' a ball with hank haggard and jones ♪

♪ no, i ain't alone i feel right at home with my ghosts on the stereo ♪ ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh oh yeah with my ghosts on the stereo ♪ ♪ ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh yeah ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪ oh yeah i've got my ghosts on the stereo ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

>> things that people say that i'm not happy in the white house that i don't even live there, and that i'm miserable in my marriage, that i'm out of touch. there's so many things, i don't know where to start. >> tonight, melania trump in her own words. the first lady in an exclusive revealing interview with abc's tom llamas. no questions off limits. from immigration -- >> it was unacceptable for me to see children and parents separated. it was heartbreaking. >> to her personal cause as first lady. >> i will be hit with criticism talking about cyber bullying. but it will not stop me to do what is righ