all right. thanks for watching, everybody. i'm larry beil. >> i'm ama daetz. for all of us, thanks for being >> dicky: from brooklyn, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! presented by google. tonight -- julia louis-dreyfus, from broadway's "the new one," mike birbiglia and music from bebe rexha, with cleto and the cletones. and now, baby you're the greatest. here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks very much.

thank you. hello. hi, brooklyn. welcome, welcome. thanks for coming. we are in this big deal of a theater right now. we are coming to you from brooklyn, new york, from the howard gillman opera house at the brooklyn academy of music. and we're here, i'll tell you something, we're here for two reasons. we're here to do a week of shows and we're here to eat as much pizza as we can without dying. maybe i'm feeling a little paranoid. i feel like all the restaurants in the area are conspiring to kill me because they keep sending food. like all day long, i get food, every 45 minutes i get a delivery of food. this is what i had for lunch today. this is for real. not a bit of exaggeration. i had a slice of sicilian and a slice of mushroom pizza from house of pizzas and calzones, chicken fingers, a fish burrito

and ox tail, handmade chocolate bar from the pierre hotel and a jar of cookie dough, which is also -- happens to be what my body is now. dough. there's so much good food here. those of you watching from other parts of the country, if you ever get a chance to come to brooklyn, come with an empty stomach. i was in a restaurant the other night. there was a sign. i went to the downstairs bathroom and there was a sign that said, please do not flush hygiene products down the toilet. if you do, the restaurant will flood and we will literally have to close. which, to be honest, to me, felt like a challenge, you know? it was -- fortunately for them, i didn't have any hygiene products on hand, but it's very interesting where these restaurants even pop up in these seemingly dilapidated buildings. we took a walk through dumbo. only brooklyn could make an elite dining experience out of eating under a bridge. that doesn't happen other places. in l.a., if you're eating under a bridge, it means you're addicted to methamphetamines.

here's another interesting fact about brooklyn. did you know that unless you have a socially conscious message written on your outdoor chalkboard, you are legally not allowed to sell coffee in this town. i'm glad to be back. this is our fourth year doing this, and i -- you know what else? [ cheers and applause ] we are back. and something else that is back in brooklyn right now is the measles. there has been an outbreak of measles. measles is making a comeback. you guys are so hip, you even love old vintage diseases. at least 17 people have tested positive for measles in the tristate area. six of them right here in brooklyn. apparently, and i didn't know this, but the anti-vaccination movement is strong here in brooklyn, which i don't want to offend anyone, but if you are one of those people who are against vaccinating your kids, you're nuts, and your kids are probably allergic to nuts. vaccinate your children. it's not that -- we are well

into the 2000s. no one should be getting measles anymore. finding out there's a measles outbreak is like waking up to the news that vikings are coming to get you. here's something else the department of health is going to have to deal with. this is a video that was shot over the weekend at a deli in queens, a deli that carries a wide variety of bread products. take a look. >> maybe some dinner rolls, maybe some gyros or a ciabatta. maybe a giant [ bleep ] possum hanging out in the grocery store. >> jimmy: i think he's there to protect the bread from the rats. i don't know. is it better if you find a possum alive or dead in the bread? which one is -- i don't want to bring the opera house down but i have some bad news and i know this is going to come as a shock so i want you to prepare yourselves. the nets, the brooklyn nets lost last night. i know. it was a shock to me too. the knicks, on the other hand,

won their home opener. they crushed the atlanta hawks. although let's be honest, this probably is likely that stevie nicks will make the nba playoffs this year. the lakers didn't win last year but they did something you might want to consider. try to sign lebron james to play for your team. it makes a huge difference. just down the street from the nets in december, brooklyn's first ever medical marijuana dispensary is going to open, so even if the team is a loser again, i mean, who cares, right? you know, we had medical marijuana in california for years before it became legal for recreational use, and it's interesting because you have to go to a doctor to get a prescription to smoke, and to get the prescription, you have to give the doctor a medical reason why you need marijuana. now, i will tell you, as far as the reasons go, they weren't too strict, okay? the hardest part was keeping a straight face when you told them why you needed it, but you still

have to tell them something. so to help with that, you have a couple of months, our staff put together a list as a gift from your friends in california of reasons we used in l.a. to get our medical marijuana license. okay? here you go. a coyote ate my chihuahua. my agent told me i can't play late 20s anymore. to ease the pain of a gluten allergy. the botox hurts. i'm depressed because my avocado turned brown. the city denied my permit for an emotional support ferret. i'm worried that donald trump might be president one day. oh, that's -- i'm having trouble "keeping up with the kardashians." post-coachella stress disorder. soul cycle classes aren't making me feel like my best self. because i can't even right now. and finally, i'm anxious that i might run out of weed.

there you go. that's -- you're welcome. [ cheers and applause ] i think -- i don't know how many there were there, but i think that may have been a top ten list. apologies to david letterman. we have a good show tonight, music tonight from brooklyn born b ebe rexa is with it. mike birbiglia is here. and we will be joined tonight by the one and only julia louis-dreyfus, the notorious jld. and this is fun. julia has won so many emmys over the years for seinfeld and for the new adventures of old christine, tonight she brought an emmy for everyone in our audience. that's right. you know, we do a very thorough job of scouring the local news from a lot of different cities every night for our show, and this one, this is something we happened upon back in january, courtesy of news 12 long island.

>> long island plans to build a new high volt power line which would run 7.2 miles underground. people we spoke with are worried about increased traffic near that route. that includes hugh. he works at a liquor store in garden city. >> stewart avenue's already bad enough during rush hour. >> it was a wonderful moment when we met hugh janus and ladies and gentlemen, i would like to introduce someone very special who is sitting in our audience, none other than mr. hugh janus himself. he told us he was coming to visit. so i have a couple questions. first of all, i'm assuming that hugh janus is not your real name. >> no but you'd be surprised how many people thought it was. >> what is your real name? >> joe >> jimmy: not as interesting. how did you sneak hugh janus

past the reporter? >> well, i knew i wasn't going to give her my real name so once she asked me what's your name and i said, hugh. and i waited a few seconds and she was like, last name? and i was like, janus. and she was like, how do you spell that? hugh and j-a-n-u-s. you're going to be on the news at 5:00. >> jimmy: excellent. well, you did very well done. i'm proud of you. gives me hope for the future of this country. >> thank you. >> jimmy: and are you vaccinated for the measles? just wondering. >> i believe so, yes. >> jimmy: okay, very good. that's joseph, everyone. not hugh. let that be a lesson to news reporters everywhere. speaking of offensive names, there is officially now one less trump building in new york city. condominium on the west side is having trump's name removed from their building.

trump place will heretofore be known as 200 riverside boulevard. a majority of the owners of the condo voted to remove trump from the sign and so now trump is gone. boy, if only the government worked like that. needless to say, donald trump is not happy about this. the only name -- the only thing trump wants his name removed from is donald junior, but his lawyers tried to sue the building's owners for dropping the name, which is kind of like a restaurant trying to make you finish a bowl of soup after you find a band-aid in it. it's not -- but melania -- i don't know if you -- melania heard about the building dropping trump's name and she was like, wait, you can do that? the story interesting to me because trump has his name on a lot of stuff around here, and that fact inspired us to have some fun with another landmark on the upper west side. we wanted to see what would happen if we told people there was a place where trump's name was going up.

we set up shop outside lincoln center and we told people passing by that lincoln center was going to be renamed trump center because he bought it and guess what? they bought it too. >> we're gauging people's reaction to the news this morning that the trump organization bought lincoln center. >> oh [ bleep ]. >> you haven't heard plans that they're intending to change the name to trump -- the trump center. >> i have not. what? no. why would you change it to trump center? >> because he owns it now. the organization. >> so what? >> lincoln center is such a household name. i feel like changing the name was kind of a crime. >> this is the architectural plans for what they're going to do with trump center. this is the trump center here. >> oh, my god, no. >> they are adding a food court. there's a panda express now. there would be a bubba gump shrimp company. >> that's disgusting. does that kfc mean kentucky fried -- >> yeah. kentucky fried chicken. >> this is -- no.

i can't agree. i'm sorry. >> kfc happens to be a favorite of president trump's. >> let him eat it. he looks like kfc, you know. >> he said it would be nice to have a fancy italian restaurant. >> this is a fancy italian restaurant? you eat on paper plates. how's it fancy? >> i think it's a bad idea to have food down here because there's not a lot of fast food down here and it might encourage more employment and things like that. so, that's not a bad thing. >> how do you feel about the arrangement that they've made to have the philharmonic sponsored by mountain dew code red. >> i feel like i can hear western civilization crumbling as we speak. this is really frightening. >> if they were to, like, redo the outside and make it look like this, beautiful. but don't put a bowling alley where people come to enjoy themselves. >> if somebody invited you, you wouldn't come to the bowling alley. >> yeah, if somebody invited me, i guess. >> i would go to the bowling alley. >> you would. >> yes. that sounds like fun. >> yes, that would be nice. we get a bowling alley.

>> oh, yeah, the bowling alley, i would definitely go to if it's affordable, you know? >> of course it will be an affordable bowling alley. >> you don't like this plan at all? >> i think it's trashy. i think sleazy. no. >> what are your final impressions on trump center in is >> hope it doesn't happen. >> trump, don't put hooters in lincoln center. >> jimmy: all right. well, who knows -- who knew bowling would bring everyone together. we've been having a lot of fun this week. hey, where is guillermo? where's guillermo? >> guillermo: pew, pew, pew. pew, pew, pew.

>> jimmy: what -- what is this? what is this? >> guillermo: i'm not guillermo. i'm spider-man. >> jimmy: you're a spider man? >> guillermo: yeah. pew, pew, pew. >> jimmy: i guess it's spider-man that we have here instead of guillermo. >> hey. excuse me. give me back my mask. >> guillermo: no. >> give me back my mask. >> guillermo: no. >> hey, you -- mother -- >> jimmy: what is this? what's going on? >> guillermo: pew, pew, pew. >> i can't see in this thing. >> jimmy: what? >> guillermo: where are you? >> jimmy: what did he say? you know what? >> hey, you stole my mask. >> guillermo: no, i didn't. >> yes, you did. >> jimmy: you know, we can barely hear you with the cone on your head, if you don't mind. if you would just pull it off. [ cheers and applause ]

>> jimmy: wow. it's -- >> give me back my mask! >> jimmy: it's the real, real spider-man. [ cheers and applause ] hold on a second. wait a minute now. i happen to be a very big fan of spider-man. how did he steal your mask? >> it's a long story, jimmy. it's a sad story too. i ran out of web fluid. i was waiting for the b38 and he snuck up behind me and stole it right off my head. >> jimmy: i thought you had spidey sense. >> he's not really all that threatening. could i just have my mask back so i can get back to set, please. >> jimmy: give him back his mask. this is ridiculous. you don't steal masks from heroes. >> thank you so much. oh, it smells really weird. >> guillermo: that's tequila. >> jimmy: it's tequila, don't worry. did you say you have to get back to set? are you making another movie?

>> spider-man far from home next summer in theaters. >> jimmy: wait a minute. is this -- is this movie a prequel? because, you know, in the -- at the end of "avengers: infinity war," you turned into black confetti. >> i think thanos is robbing a bank so i'm going to go in. >> jimmy: that doesn't make any sense. >> thanos poor. bye, jimmy. see you later. >> jimmy: bye, spider-man. spider-man. hey. how many other shows bring spider-man? [ cheers and applause ] we have a great show tonight. we have music from bebe rexha. mike birbiglia is here. thanks to tom holland and we'll be right back with julia louis-dreyfus. we're in brooklyn. ♪ goodnight to you, goodnight to you ♪ [phone ringing] oh, no, no, no, no... go back to bed...

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when you or your love one need it. >> jimmy: tonight, he is an exceptionally funny and talented guy. his show opens at the cort theatre on broadway one week from tonight. it's called "the new one." mike birbiglia is here. i saw the show twice off-broadway and it's great. then -- her latest album is called "expectations." from brooklyn, bebe rexha on the google pixel 3 stage. tomorrow is our fifth and final night at bam. and we are going out with a bang with bryan cranston, paul shaffer sitting in with the cletones, music from wu-tang clan, and maybe even some surprise guests too. so cancel whatever plans you had and join us here tomorrow night.

our first guest tonight is new york-born and absolutely loaded with emmys. next week she adds a marky to her shelf as she receives the mark twain prize for american humor at the kennedy center. watch it on pbs november 19th. please welcome julia louis-dreyfus. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you know, i'm always glad to see you but i'm especially glad to see you tonight. how are you? >> thank you. i am good. i am really good. >> jimmy: good. good. you're not just saying that. >> no. i'm not just saying that. i'm good. i'm here. yeah, i know we have to get this cancer [ bleep ] out of the way, so -- >> jimmy: that's right. >> so bring on the questions.

>> jimmy: you beat breast cancer. did you beat the breast cancer? is it beaten? is it gone? it's gone from your body? i knew you would. >> yes. thank you. yeah. >> jimmy: you look fantastic. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you feel good? do you feel strong? >> i do. i feel very strong and i've got red lips so i mean, what could go wrong? >> jimmy: everything is good now and you're back to work. >> i'm back at work on "veep," which is amazing. >> jimmy: that's great. i know you -- you shared a lot of your, you know, your treatment and your -- >> yes, i did. >> jimmy: on social media. >> i did. >> jimmy: why did you do that? >> well, i did it for a couple of reasons. first and foremost, we had to stall "veep" production because of my situation, so a lot of people worked for me and i knew i couldn't really keep it private because i had to tell everybody what was going on, and then i just sort of embraced that, and i got a lot of positive feedback. i think people liked having the fact that i had a sense of humor

about it and also i think it's an important conversation to have about health and health care and i very much considered the notion that as someone battling this sease, the idea that i might not have health insurance, which i do, thanks to my great union, is completely terrifying. >> jimmy: right. it's not optional. >> yeah, right? i mean -- and so, health care should be for all. i believe that now. i believed it before. now i really believe it. >> jimmy: now you know it. >> yeah, i really know it. absolutely. >> jimmy: you know it beforehand and then you really know it when you see -- >> when you're in the throes of it. >> jimmy: even just the fact that you weren't able to work. that's something that you can live through but for a lot of people, that's devastating. >> yeah. i mean, it can -- i can't even

imagine, frankly, that hardship. so, the other thing i should mention that i recently did was i made a series of commercials or videos or psas for an organization called multiplyyourvote.org, which i would encourage everybody to go to and of course it's about getting out the vote, but in fact, what it's also or really about is getting people to volunteer and if you go to that website, you can log in and you can say where you're from, and they will tell you areas and races that need volunteer help, canvassing, texting, writing letters, and we've been able to raise -- i mean, at this point, i think we've got almost 10,000 volunteers through the program. >> jimmy: oh, really? that's a lot. and you're going to do that with them as well. >> i have already. >> jimmy: that's great. that's a great thing that you're doing. is work fun now? do you appreciate it more? it's the last season of the show. >> i know. >> jimmy: of "veep." >> i know. >> jimmy: how many episodes do you have left to shoot?

>> we have three more episodes left to shoot. >> jimmy: are you feeling melon collie abo -- >> i am. i adore these people. >> jimmy: the writing is always sharp, the acting is great on the show. >> obviously, yeah. >> jimmy: when you think about -- when you think about the -- what, seven, seasons of the show, is there one line that sticks out at you as the funniest thing selena ever said? >> there is a scene in which -- there are many, by the way, but there's a scene that tony hale and i shot last season in which the story he's had a heart attack and he's in this sort of tiny little room in my basement, and i'm kind of allowing him to stay there, and so i bring him -- i make him dinner and i

bring it to him. and i get on to this little single bed with him and it's completely -- you can't imagine what it looks like. it's spaghetti with cut-up sandwich on top. i mean, it's, like, clearly made by someone who had no idea. >> jimmy: never made anyone anything. >> in her life. and so he's eating it and i had to sit really close to him, like, because i was on the bed next to him. so i was like that close. and so he is eating it, and he goes -- he goes, i love the blue cheese in here. and i say, there's no blue cheese in there. and then he had to, as i'm that close to him, continue to try to chew and swallow. and i have to say, i don't have the blooper reel here, but you cannot imagine how long it took us to get that. we were howling. >> jimmy: tony, your relationship, the two of you together is so great. he's like your shadow, just

hanging over you. i hope that when the show is done, he will still follow you around everywhere you go. >> yes, i'm in negotiations with him right now to set that up exactly. >> jimmy: when we come back, we're going to talk about you are, this weekend, will be the recipient of what is perhaps the greatest prize in american comedy. julia louis-dreyfus is here. we'll be right back. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live in brooklyn" are brought to you by google pixel 3. make every day more extraordinary. extraordinary.

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>> jimmy: hey, we're back with julia louis-dreyfus. mike birbiglia and bebe rexha are waiting in the wings. on sunday, you are set to receive the mark twain prize for american humor. it is presented at the kennedy center. >> yes. >> jimmy: last year, bill murray received this award. david letterman received this award. eddie murphy. carol >> of course i'm honored and excited but you know what you have to realize is that you have to make a speech. >> jimmy: at the end, you have to make a speech. everyone speaks about you for an hour and then you have to get up there and speak. >> right.

it's like endless and then you come out and then you have to make a speech. so it sort of feels like they're giving you an award for being comedic and now they're saying at the same time, now prove that you deserve it. with this speech. so, i'm anxious about it. i will tell you right now. >> jimmy: who is going to be there to honor you this weekend? >> let's see. my friend jerry seinfeld. >> jimmy: oh, yes, you know him from the show. >> yes. and tina fey, another good friend of mine. >> jimmy: she's a recipient of the mark twain prize. >> she certainly is. and you know who's coming is bryan cranston, who's going to be your guest tomorrow night. >> jimmy: we will be speaking about you. that's a great -- do you ask these people or does someone else ask the people? >> both. >> jimmy: yeah. >> yes. you know, you sort of present them with who you think would be good, that feels organic, and if they approve your choices, they ask the people. yeah.

>> jimmy: you know what would be a nice thing to do, after everyone speaks, all your different friends speak about you, send out a list of who you thought was best, going down to worst, just in order. you rank them. maybe that's how you close the show. like jerry was the best. bryan, not so great. >> not so great. exactly. >> jimmy: put the pressure right back on them. if anyone deserves them, it's you. you are unbelievably fantastically talented. we're so glad you're alive. >> me too. >> jimmy: and don't forget to vote. julia louis-dreyfus, the mark twain prize for american humor, november 19th on pbs. we'll be right back. ht back. ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live in brooklyn" are brought to you by google pixel 3. make every day more extraordinary. aordinary. -computer, order pizza. -of course, daniel. -fridge, weather. -clear skies and 75. -trash can, turn on the tv. -my pleasure. -ice dispenser, find me a dog sitter. -okay. -and make ice.

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>> dicky: "jimmy kimmel live's" brooklyn week continues next week.

>> jimmy: to another great show in brooklyn. >> guillermo: the greatest borough in brooklyn. >> i'm a huge fan. do you mind taking a selfie with me? >> jimmy: sure, no problem.

>> thanks, guillermo. nice to meet you, guillermo's dad >> jimmy: i'm not his dad. >> you're my celebrity freebie. can we get a picture with you? >> jimmy: i'm happily married, but sure. >> oh my god, we love you so much. >> guillermo: i love you, too, crazy ladies. do you want a picture with jimmy? >> no, we're out of film. >> there's no film. i didn't want a picture anyway. i'm trying to eat over here. >> guillermo: jimmy, jimmy, don't feel too bad. nobody like you. it's okay. >> jimmy: that's not true. people like me. hey, does anyone want to take a picture with a talk show host? anyone? what if i told you this new pixel 3 has a wide angle lens so we can all get in the picture together for the most incredible best selfie ever? >> did you say best selfie ever? >> jimmy: yes, i did curly mustache guy. come on, get in. here we go. let's get everybody in. ready? >> guillermo: not everybody's in. >> jimmy: watch this. now everybody's in. say group selfie.

>> group selfie. >> guillermo: sweet. >> there you go. i love the show. >> jimmy: thank you. >> say hello to the roots. >> jimmy: i'm going to go home. >> guillermo: all right. see you at home. >> dicky: group selfie cam. make room for more friends. . ahhhh! ♪ boys, we gotta back up, just a little bit, back up... back up...back up... stay in the frame... stay in the frame... willow, just stay in the frame! hey, mitch, could you ah... ...scootch in? i'm trying to take a selfie. wait, one sec... whoa! smile! ♪ all right, i'm here to unbox the powerful new google pixel 3. and i'm at verizon, the network chosen by google. ooh, this is it! how's the camera? oh, it's not just a camera. this has the power of google lens behind it. what's that do? well, it lets you search what you see on america's most reliable network.

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are at the brooklyn academy of music. following a soldout run off-broadway this summer, our next guest is taking his highly acclaimed and hilarious show to broadway. it's called "the new one," and it opens a week from today. please say hello to mike birbiglia. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: welcome. welcome. >> i live here. i live about 11 blocks from here and i think that's why they're clapping. but -- >> jimmy: these are neighbors. >> and i walked here and i'm not

kidding, a bird [ bleep ] on my shoulder right before i was about to go on, your producer claire goes, there's bird [ bleep ] on your shoulder, and so the bird [ bleep ] department came in and their union, as you know, and they fixed the situation, so i'm, you know, feeling good. >> jimmy: you're okay. all right. that's good. there are no stains or anything. they say that's good luck. >> it is. >> jimmy: okay. we'll go with that. yeah. how long have you lived here in brooklyn? >> almost -- gosh, my wife and i have lived in new york probably about 15, 16 years, and lived -- i lived on my sister gina's couch was the first place i lived. >> jimmy: wow. >> yeah. carol gardens? all right. >> jimmy: they live on your sister gina's couch. >> and then, yeah, i never >> jimmy: i saw your show twice actually. i saw an early version of your show in l.a. >> i want to point out that your wife, molly, sitting right here

and you guys were nice enough to come to the show when it was off-broadway. >> jimmy: yes, we were nice enough. the show was sold out. you were nice enough to get us tickets, and the show -- it was really great. i mean, i told you that after the show, but i mean it. it really was. i would not have come twice if i didn't love it. >> it meant a lot to me and you took me and my wife out to dinner with you and molly after the show, and i don't know if you knew this previously, but i can't hold liquor very well, and we were having -- it was a japanese barbecue spot and i ate, i think, i drank sake and then i think i had one and a half drinks, you leaned over and you go, at the end of the show, because the show is -- it's a comedy but it's an emotional show about me and my wife and us having a child, and you go, i cried. don't tell molly this, but i cried at the end. and i go, molly! he cried at the end! and i looked at you and i had never seen your face do this

thing before which was that you were surprised and disappointed because i didn't -- i wasn't able to read the social cues to know that you mean to it, that i was -- >> jimmy: a drunk mike birbiglia is not to be trusted is what i learned that night. >> it was brutal. >> jimmy: one of the great things about being on broadway, there aren't that many things, but one of the things that there are is you get a play bill with your name on it just like every broadway show does. >> it's crazy. >> jimmy: and people buy ads. do you have to sell the ads in the play bill yourself or does somebody do that for you? >> yeah, i take a binder around to the neighborhoods. >> jimmy: i haven't told you this but i took out an ad in your playbill and i don't know if you can read that. >> oh my god. >> jimmy: just a little reminder. >> that's insane. i always had to tell people

that -- because it is a comedy show that it is a genuinely -- it's an emotional show, like it's about -- i never want to -- the first half of the show is basically like the reasons why no one should ever have a child. so, if you feel that way, it's a good show for you. and then the second half of the show is about how my wife and i had a child and how i was right. but ultimately, it is, you know, it's redemptive at the end. >> jimmy: yeah, it is, it's great, for anybody who has kids or is thinking about it, i think it will touch a real chord for sure. >> oh, thanks. >> jimmy: it did for me, anyway. >> i couldn't have a child for a bit. we tried. a few years ago, we talked about it, jen and i, and then we decided to try and we started having sex without a condom, which if you haven't tried it, it's -- by all means, give it a chance. there are videos of it online. but they -- but here's the thing. it didn't work! at the outset, because my -- as

it turns out, my boys don't swim. which isn't surprising because i don't swim. i swim in circling, and i'm always ordering hot dogs at the side of the pool. i'm great at dinner, you know? >> jimmy: sure. >> so i went to my urologist, dr. kaplan and he asked me to masturbate into a cup and i said, that's rude, and he said, no, it's a medical procedure called masturbating into a cup. i go in, i do the thing. he calls me a few days later and he goes, mike, you're going to have to come back in and masturbate into a cup again and now i'm like, is this a joke? because i'm in the jokes business. actually, dr. kaplan, the show's in new york, he shows up at the show, and i was a little nervous. i'll let you in on a little secret. i'll let you guys in. i don't always tell the truth on stage. >> jimmy: you embellish.

>> i embellish. it starts from a place of truth and i embellish. for example, i have -- dr. kaplan's real but i also have another doctor named dr. fish, his name is harry fish but that felt like a fake name. i felt like if i said that, people would be, like, oh, i went to harry fish because my boys don't swim. it's -- like i'm the dr. seuss of urology or whatever. and so i just cut him out of the story, all the urology stuff is dr. kaplan. so dr. kaplan comes to the show, but he brings dr. fish, not kidding. i'm not kidding. they're friends. they go on vacations together, as it turns out. the it's a whole thing. >> jimmy: did they bond over your testicles? >> they talk about my balls for hours. these people are obsessed. and -- no, and so they come backstage and i said to dr. kaplan, totally true, i go, dr. kaplan, i'm sorry if i embellish a little bit of what you said and he goes, it's no big deal.

i really liked it and then i said, dr. fish, i'm sorry i left you out of the show entirely, and i was surprised. he goes, well, not for nothing, some nights it could be dr. fish. so, because we're in new york this week, i brought dr. fish! >> jimmy: oh, you did? >> there's my actual doctor! >> jimmy: wow. >> that's my actual doctor. dr. fish, i appreciate everything you've done. i want to thank you, but i want you to know for the rest of the broadway run, your lines will be attributed to dr. kaplan! >> jimmy: oh, wow. dr. kaplan. wow. oh, my goodness. wow.

dr. kaplan. congratulations, dr. kaplan. and dr. fish, i'd like you to meet hugh janus. he's just sitting right over there. mike birbiglia, "the new one" begins a week from tonight on broadway. we'll be right back with bebe rexha. thanks, mike. ♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live in brooklyn" are brought to you by google pixel 3. warning, california. a handful of billionaires have spent over $70 million on campaigns to undermine our public schools. and electing a former wall street banker named marshall tuck to superintendent of public instruction is all a part of the billionaires' plan to take money away from neighborhood public schools

and give it to their corporate charter schools. that's why tony thurmond is the only candidate endorsed by classroom teachers for superintendent of public instruction. because keeping our kids safe and improving our neighborhood public schools is always tony's top priority.

♪ >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live in brooklyn" are brought to you by google pixel 3. >> jimmy: i'd like to thank julia louis-dreyfus, mike birbiglia, tom holland and apologize to matt damon. we ran out of time. nightline is next. but first, her album is called "expectations." here with the song "i'm a mess." bebe rexha. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ everything's been so messed up here lately pretty sure he don't wanna be my baby ♪

♪ oh, he don't love me he don't love me he don't love me he don't love me ♪ ♪ but that's ok 'cause i love me yeah i love me yeah i love me ♪ ♪ yeah i love myself anyway hey everything's gonna be alright everything's gonna be ok ♪ ♪ it's gonna be a good good life that's what my therapist say ♪ ♪ everything's gonna be alright everything's gonna be just fine ♪ ♪ it's gonna be a good good life i'm a mess i'm a loser i'm a hater i'm a user ♪ ♪ i'm a mess for your love it ain't new i'm obsessed i'm embarrassed i don't trust ♪ ♪ no one around us i'm a mess for your love it ain't new new york make some noise! woo ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪ woo ooh ooh ooh nobody shows up

unless i'm paying have a drink on me ♪ ♪ cheers to the failing oh he don'love me he don't love me he don't love me ♪ ♪ he don't love me but that's okay 'cause i love me yeah i love me ♪ ♪ yeah i love me yeah i love myself anyway hey everything's gonna be alright everything's gonna be okay ♪ ♪ it's gonna be a good good life that's what my therapist say ♪ ♪ everything's gonna be alright everything's gonna be just fine ♪ new york city, are you ready? i'm a mess i'm a loser i'm a hater i'm a user ♪ ♪ i'm a mess for your love it ain't new i'm obsessed i'm embarrassed i don't trust ♪ ♪ no one around us i'm a mess for your love it ain't new woo ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ woo ooh ooh ooh everything's gonna be alright alright everything's gonna be just fine just fine ♪ ♪ it's gonna be a good good life one two three i'm a mess i'm a loser ♪ ♪ i'm a hater i'm a user i'm a mess for your love it ain't new ♪ ♪ i'm obsessed i'm embarrassed i don't trust no one around us ♪ ♪ i'm a mess for your love it ain't new woo ooh ooh ooh hey woo ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪

tonight, pushing back. is the me too tide turning? controversial groups now defending the rights of college men accused of sexual misconduct. >> you were immediately found guilty. >> immediately. >> how the trump administration is changing the rules and why some survivors' advocates say the debate over due process is disturbing. >> we consistently see that survivors are telling the truth. plus, david guetta. we're behind the scenes of the hit maker's long-time residency in vegas, his newest album with star-studded