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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  October 19, 2018 11:35pm-12:37am PDT

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billion-dollar lotte jackpot. morning news will >> dicky: from brooklyn, it's "jimmy kimmel live." presented by google. tonight, bryan cranston. legendary band leader paul shaffer. and music from woo tang clan. brought to you by ciroc black raspberry. with cleto and the cletones. and now, kicking in live, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: hi, there, ladies and gentlemen. very nice. hi. we are in brooklyn, new york. thank you. that's very nice. welcome to our fifth and final night in brooklyn from the howard gillman opera house at the brooklyn academy of music. [ cheers and applause ] maybe you can tell by my voice but we've had a lot of fun this week. everybody's been so warm and welcoming. i speak on behalf of our entire staff when i say we are filled with gratitude and mortadella. over the last five days, brooklyn, you have filled our hearts with joy, our stomachs with pizza, our luggage with bedbugs and we thank you. [ laughter ] while we do not want to go, we have to go, because we will be dead very soon if we do not. i got on the scale this morning. it said my body was 40% meatball. [ laughter ] i do want to thank the many fine dining establishments who
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overfed us. i want to thank the great staff and crew at b.a.m. for all their hard work and kindness. [ cheers and applause ] takes a lot of people to make this show happen. thanks to our great staff and crew for pulling this off without a hitch. mostly thanks to you guys for writing in for tickets, for lining up in the cold, all of that stuff. [ cheers and applause ] we love you, i love you, thank you. this opera house has become our opera home and we are planning to finish out the week in a big way. the great bryan cranston is with us tonight. [ cheers and applause ] the woo tang clan is with us tonight. and sitting in with cleto and the cletones, he is known in his native canada as thunder beethoven. the one, is only, the world's most dangerous band leader, paul shaffer. >> thunder beethoven, thank you. i've never heard that one before. thunder beethoven, i love it.
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>> jimmy: can i be honest? i made that up this afternoon and i called martin short just to tell them how great this new nickname is for you. >> unbelievable name, what did he say? >> jimmy: he loved it. >> i love it it too, you've given me my name. thunder beethoven, thank you. >> jimmy: paul's been in las vegas. >> yes, indeed. mini residency. i got one more weekend of the mini residency coming up, november 29, that weekend. >> jimmy: that's a lot of fun, at caesars palace. >> yes, cleopatra's lounge. you never know who's going to drop by. martin short came by the first night. >> jimmy: oh, he did. >> dave letterman came by, he did about 20 minutes and he lectured me. paul, you know what buddy hackett said, you do not say vegas unless you have performed on a vegas stage. otherwise you must say las vegas. >> jimmy: that's right. >> have you performed on a vegas stage? >> jimmy: i was born on a vegas stage. >> then you can say vegas. all the rest of you people, las vegas. >> jimmy: it's las vegas. that is right, he's right on
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that. >> yes. >> jimmy: you'll be thrown right the hell in jail if you say otherwise. >> please don't, please don't. >> jimmy: by the way, not just paul. another beloved late night television sidekick waiting in the wings. he's from los angeles, california, by way of mexico. let's count it down and say hello to guillermo, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: wow.
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>> guillermo: i love brooklyn! >> jimmy: it's like a drunk.disco ball has come to life. by the way i want to mention that the boston red sox are headed to the world series. [ cheers and boos ] >> jimmy: is that not good -- yankees fans and red sox fans hate each other, maybe more than any teams in american sports. and especially in this time of great division in this country, we wanted to do something to heal that divide. this afternoon we went around brooklyn. we asked yankees fans to congratulate the red sox on making it into the world series. here's how that went. >> would you like to congratulate the red sox on going to the world series? >> [ bleep ] no. >> get right in there and let them know. >> [ bleep ] no. go red sox. >> no, i can't wish the red sox good luck. i can't, i can't, i just can't, i'm a new yorker, i can't do that. >> [ bleep ] red sox [ bleep ]
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boston. new york, brooklyn, williamsburg, mets. my wife's a yankees fan, it's her birthday today. let's go yankees. >> [ bleep ] the red sox. [ bleep ] you red sox fans. >> would you like to congratulate the red sox on going to the world series? look right in there, let them know. >> [ bleep ] red sox. [ bleep ] bombs. the red sox are trash. complete, absolute garbage. like i could never congratulate them for anything. except for maybe if i [ bleep ]ed a toilet and the whole team ate it. i think i could congratulate them for that. congratulations for eating my [ bleep ]. that's all i could do for them. how about that. good enough answer for you? >> yeah, that will work. >> that's how i feel. >> to all the red sox fans, just remember that we have 26 world series titles. so you can go [ bleep ] yourselves. >> would you like to congratulate the red sox on going to the world series? >> i don't want to. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: there you go. and those are the nice ones.
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while we're on the subject of winning, president trump had a rally in montana last night. why, nobody knows. but whatever the reason, we slowed him down to half speed for tonight's "drunk donald trump." [ tape playing slowly ] >> that's all the time we need to make america great again. make america great again. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, i hope someone drove him home. you know, i want to talk for a moment about a subject i know you're passionate about here in brooklyn. and that is the subway. any of you take the el train to get here tonight? [ cheers ] enjoy it while it's still moving. mta is planning to shut the el train down in april for repairs that will take at least 15 months and through the end of november they've cut back on the
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number of el trains that run at night for track maintenance. so mta is sending a strong message and that message is, walk. [ laughter ] you know when the trains are running, there are hurdles to clear. so many weird things happen on the train. for instance, people will bring their own couches aboard. they will bring their own chairs aboard. there are animals of various types. i think those are grabs. that's a puppet, i think. this happened this weekend, actually. a guy brought a palm tree, and you can see -- yeah. every day is an adventure. so all week long we've been handing out questionnaire cards asking members of our studio audience to tell us who they think are the most annoying people on their daily commutes. we compiled the results, and now with help from the one of the billy crudup and amy sedaris,
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here are the top five most annoying people on the subway. at number five, we got a lot of complaints about this one. gillian owe sore row suarez wrote, the dude on the train who spreads his legs on purpose and refuses to give space to an elderly or pregnant person, i wish diarrhea upon him. i think we all know this guy and his name is the manspreader. >> hey! can i get some room here? >> i am so sorry, man. i have this medical condition where i don't give a [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: audience member selene adelmo from harlem is among many who wrote, the lazy person that sleeps an extra 20 minutes so they can brush their teeth, floss, clip, and paint their nails on the subway. at number four, this is the
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grooming commuter. >> this little piggy went to market. this little piggy came home. this little piggy got kicked out of duane re -- >> hey, that went in my coffee! >> oh, are you single? oh, i think we're having a moment. that's hot. oh -- i mean the coffee, mm! crunchy. kiss me! >> jimmy: the hits only get bigger from here. nick from the bronx is among those who wrote, people who bring weird animals on, not just dogs and cats but birds and reptiles. which brings us to number f the doors, please. >> hello, hello.
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hello, this is julius squeezer. [ laughter ] don't be afraid. he's a licensed comfort pet. sh, sh, sh, sh -- >> oh, ha ha! i'm the other annoying person on the subway, the inconsiderate cyclist with the oversized backpack! [ laughter ] you're not going anywhere, ha ha ha! >> the tension is upsetting julius! >> jimmy: at number two, we visited number two. what is perhaps the most disturbing exhibit of all. jay shaw of leavitt town wrote, the person in the corner who is doing stuff under his trench coat. yes, ladies, you know who this is. the man who is probably masturbating. [ cheers and applause ] >> stand clear of the closing
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doors, please. [ laughter ] >> hey! are you masturbating? >> what? no. i'm not masturbating. i'm -- polishing my bowling trophy. the one who's masturbating is that guy. [ laughter ] >> no, man, hey. i'm not -- not masturbating, i'm grinding pepper. you want to know who's masturbating? she's masturbating! >> oh -- what? oh, i can't do this at home, i got rabbits. hey, pass the pepper.
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>> you want my pepper? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we got dozens of complaints about one specific group. the singers, the dancers, the rappers who hold the car hostage while you desperately try to do whatever you're desperately trying to do. mike t. from bedford sty said, these guys make me want to jump on the third rail. the most annoying person on the subway is the subway show man. >> yo, yo, yo! >> stand clear of the closing doors, please. >> you know what time it is! it's showtime! give me a beat. ♪ yo, yo, yo! my name is little italy born and raised. ♪ you have my mom's spaghetti you will be amazed ♪ ♪ what what yeah your boy is a man ♪ ♪ and i got more flavors than the woo tang clan ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> let's take this train aside! >> jimmy: there you have it. >> that's right, that's right, the wu is back! >> jimmy: the wu is back, there you go, the most annoying people on the subway! thanks to billy crudup, amy sedaris, bryan cranston and the woo tang clan. we'll be back with music from the woo tang clan in a moment, we'll be right back. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy
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>> jimmy: oh, look at that. oh, what a beautiful view. we will miss it. that is paul shaffer sitting in with cleto and the cletones. paul has been doing a mini residency in las vegas at caesars palace. he always has very special guests. you mentioned david letterman, martin short. have a the local las vegas legends come to visit you? >> only mr. las vegas, wayne newton himself. >> jimmy: wayne newton, huh? >> the midnight idol. the desert fox.
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did you see him on stage? >> jimmy: of course. >> remember when he'd do macarthur park? it would rain on stage. i was reminding him of that. he says, i still have the rain machine. you want to hear story? i was going to open a new showroom at the desert inn and they said, we can't fit the rain machine on the stage. he says, you don't understand. no rain, no wayne. no wayne, no rain! no rain, no wayne! that's all i'm saying. >> jimmy: all right, what was the result? did it get to rain? >> the thing -- of course he had the rain. >> jimmy: of course he had the rain. >> yes, he's wayne newton, mr. entertainment himself. i said, should i have a nickname like you? what about the midnight jew? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: thunder beethoven. >> i'm glad, you have given me my name, like howard hughes gave mr. blackfoil, you gave me my name. thunder beethoven, thank you. thrilled to be here with you,
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folks. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: it's always fun to have paul here. paul, november 29th, 30th, and december 1st at cleopatra's barge inside las vegas. paul's first symphony concert with the kalamazoo symphony orchestra november 3rd in kalamazoo, michigan. later tonight we'll be celebrating the 25th anniversary, it's hard to believe, of this classic album, "enter the wu-tang." wu-tang clan from the google pixel 3 stage. and they have a new drama series about how they got their start called "wu-tang: an american saga" coming to hulu, or wu-lu, as it will now be called. next week we'll be back in l.a. doing shows with kobe bryant, jamie dornan, carey mulligan, martin lawrence, kevin nealon and many, many more. please join us when we get back. our guest tonight is a highly-decorated actor whose
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who's gone from "breaking bad" to broadway. on november 10th he returns to the stage here in new york. please say hello to bryan cranston! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> i'm so qulad that i didn't wear what guillermo is wearing because i have that. you pull it off much better. >> jimmy: a lot of people, i want to say about you, bryan, a lot of people, multiple emmy winners, tony winners, would say, no, i won't play a masturbating man on the train. [ laughter ] bryan cranston says, yes, i will. >> yes, i will! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you. >> yes. it's like the nudity clause that
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i've had. i've been in my underwear for almost every single show. in fact, on network, i'm in my underwear again. i can't believe it. >> jimmy: people like you in your underwear. i specifically remember you -- bryan was my son kevin's little league coach. >> yeah. >> jimmy: years ago in l.a. i remember we had a game -- >> was i in my underwear? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no, you weren't there. he was arrested for coaching in his underwear. no, we had a game, then we went home, and "malcolm in the middle" was on, you were dancing in your underwear. i was thinking, well, i never had this experience with my little league coach. [ laughter ] that's california for you. >> i saw kevin backstage. >> jimmy: yes, kevin is here. he's not playing anymore. >> not playing little league. >> jimmy: the dodgers are playing tonight. >> in fact, by the time this airs, the dodgers will have won the game. [ cheers ] and will face the red sox in the world series. >> jimmy: well. [ boos ] >> that's just a fact! >> jimmy: which part are you booing? >> like, no they won't!
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>> jimmy: the dodgers moved from brooklyn to l.a. right about when you were born, right? like right in that -- >> as a matter of fact, they did. right after -- i was born in '56. they moved after the '57 year. and then started playing in los angeles. >> jimmy: did you go to the games when you were a kid with your family? >> it's interesting. i was 5 years old when i went to my first dodger game at the l.a. coliseum, which is built for track and field and football. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and they had a netting up for what would be left field fence, about as high as the green monster in boston. [ boos ] so they never wanted to pitch anything outside. so they hit a home run over there. a guy named wally moon was a left-handed batter, outfielder for the dodgers. and he learned how to hit little popups to left field and hit home runs. so he would hit it almost like a
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golf chip shot. >> jimmy: really. >> all the way up. he hit so many, they gave it a name. the moonshot. >> jimmy: the man shot. what is this? wally moon? >> that's wally moon. >> jimmy: oh, wow. wow. [ laughter ] >> very pronounced, yes. >> jimmy: he's got a line drive of an eyebrow there. >> yes, that's right. [ laughter ] the pitcher couldn't tell by looking at him where he was looking. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: was wally your favorite player as a kid? >> wally was -- well, i don't -- i don't know if -- no, sandy koufax. >> jimmy: yeah, that's a good choice. this is a baseball card. how did you wind up with a baseball card? >> because i was in the major leagues, jimmy. >> jimmy: i didn't know that, really, wow, you really are talented. >> yeah, don't look it up. it's there. i played for boston! [ boos ] thank you! >> jimmy: then he hated it, so he left! [ cheers ] >> jimmy: we could go on
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forever. >> why don't we. no. >> jimmy: what is this, a fantasy camp? >> this is a dodger fantasy camp in vero beach, florida. i went a couple times. i had just the best time. >> jimmy: did you, yeah. >> for a week, all you do is eat, drink, and sleep baseball. that's it. >> jimmy: tommy lasorda there? >> yes, doing locker room chants, getting everybody revved up, cursing like a sailor, oh, yeah. >> jimmy: do you shower with the team in a fantasy camp situation? >> that may be your fantasy. [ laughter ] i think that's a different fantasy, jimmy. >> jimmy: i didn't know how many fantasies came together in this camp. >> that wouldn't be my fantasy. >> jimmy: no. you started your acting career here in new york, is that true? >> basically, i did. when i was 25 years old i got a job as one of the regulars on an abc show called "loving." >> jimmy: "loving" was a soap opera. >> yeah. >> jimmy: it was cleto, our band leader, look how happy he is, he was obsessed with the show. >> really?
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>> jimmy: he used watch it every single day religiously. >> he watched it? who were the guys? >> jimmy: he was the one guy watching it. you played who on "loving"? >> i played a professor of drama at the local university, his name was doug donvan. and he was a sweetheart. he was a sweetheart. ob tu obtuse as can be. your girlfriend could be kissing in front of you, oh, is that someone you know? he didn't know anything. >> jimmy: doug donvan. guess what, we did a little bit of work for once and we dug a clip of doug up. and we have that clip from "loving." >> do you really? >> jimmy: yes. not that -- i mean, i know a lot of the focus should be on network but we're going to see a clip from "loving" when we come back. bryan cranston is here, we'll be right back!
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>> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" in brooklyn brought to you by ciroc black raspberry. (avo) life doesn't give you many second chances. but a subaru can. you guys ok? you alright? wow. (avo) eyesight with pre-collision braking. standard on the subaru ascent. presenting the all-new three-row subaru ascent. love is now bigger than ever. tbuy more - save mores for your family! with an extra 15 or 20% off! save on women's denim - just $21.24 pick up fall boots for the family and new at kohl's - legos! you'll get kohl's cash too! this weekend - at kohl's.
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discover.o. an annual fee.rd, but i'm absolutely not payingtely not pn discover has no annual fees. really? yeah. we just don't believe in them. oh nice. you would not believe how long i've been rehearsing that.
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wow, what happened? are you all right?
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>> douglas? hold me. make love to me. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, there you go, that's where it all started, right here in new york. >> and we did. >> jimmy: and you. >> dicky: all the way from new york to boston. [ boos ] then back to new york. [ cheers ] >> jimmy: we finally figured it out. so this play "network" is based on a movie. is the movie based on a book? >> no, the movie was written by patty chievsky, written directly for the movie. >> jimmy: directly written for the movie? >> it happened. it's beautifully done. it was a great film in 1975. and it adapts really well to the stage. because the way he wrote was so
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theatrical. big, interesting, complex speeches. it's just fantastic. >> jimmy: have you updated the film to reflect current events? >> you know, we didn't have to. >> jimmy: you didn't, really. his words and message and themes were so prescient that what was happening in mid '70s is also happening right now. talking about the manipulation of people, the packaging of news, the agenda that news has, fake news. talking about people getting only their information from television. and my character screams at them, turn off your tvs, turn them off and leave them off! and now, i mean, that's what we're dealing with. everybody has a smaller tv right now. >> jimmy: yeah. >> and it's become -- >> jimmy: we all have our own tv channels too now. >> i know, i know. >> jimmy: you did the play in london. you won the olivier award. is that for lawrence olivier?
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>> yes, yes, yes. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's good, that's a big deal. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i have to say, as an american, i love the idea of you going over there and winning their awards. [ laughter ] i feel like they're always coming over here -- >> always coming over here. >> jimmy: they disguise their voices so they seem like one of us. [ laughter ] >> that's right, they do. sometimes they have a boston accent. [ boos ] >> jimmy: that's the way i feel. is it true that in the play you have audience members on stage with you? >> jimmy, this has got to be the worst idea ever. i saw a model of the play before we started. and i said, what are these tables on the stage? that's where the restaurant is. and the bar. and i said, what do you mean? what are you talking about? they said, for a premium price you can buy a ticket to be on stage, have a five-course meal, and drink alcohol and wine to your heart's content. >> jimmy: during the show? >> during the show, jimmy. >> jimmy: why? >> why? that's a good question.
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can you imagine if you gave alcohol to everyone in your audience? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yes. yes, i can. >> walk them up on stage with you and do the show with all of them on stage? >> jimmy: seems like it would be a mistake. [ laughter ] are they disruptive? does it get involved? in ways they shouldn't? >> you know, they're asked to keep their voices down. don't speak unless you have to. >> jimmy: right. >> wear dark clothing so you don't draw attention. no phones. don't do any of that. but some people can't help themselves. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> we had -- i think we had like three problems in the whole six months that we did the play. and two of the three problems were from americans. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: of course. >> i think they were from boston. [ boos ] >> jimmy: i think so. >> i think they were from boston. >> jimmy: this is going to be a disaster in new york. >> one person -- you know those people who comment on the obvious?
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like i was walking through the audience during the play, this woman's going, "here he is." that's right. another one, "look, here he comes, i can touch him, he's so close, look at that oh my gosh, he's going to speak now, he's speaking, he's talking, he's talking, and we should listen, because -- go ahead." it's like, oh, my. >> jimmy: what are these people drinking? >> funny you should ask, jimmy. i thought it would be appropriate if i brought along the alcohol that they are actually serving on stage in new york for the broadway premiere of "network" and all through the run, called the mad as hell cocktail. >> jimmy: the mad as hell? >> the mad as hell cocktail. the character screams at one time, "i'm mad at hell and i'm not going to take it anymore." if we only had someone who could bring us alcohol. >> jimmy: i have an idea of somebody who could bring us alcohol. [ cheers and applause ] >> yes!
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ah, look at that. >> jimmy: what is that? thyme? >> yes, it is thyme. you know your herbs. >> jimmy: oh, well, you know. i'm a gardener. [ laughter ] >> so what we have here is a bourbon-based drink. and i'm not kidding you, the first time i tried it after a show, sometimes the maitre d' would give me a little -- after the show. and it was bourbon and liqueur and ginger, a ginger apertif, an interesting combination. interesting combination. they mixed it all up. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this is what people are going to be enjoying on stage? >> this is actually -- i actually learned this move from the sketch we did earlier. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's where you learned it? >> yeah. >> jimmy: okay. because i learned it years ago. all right.
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>> no, i don't want to pour it in that, i want to pour it in here. this is the mad as hell cocktail. >> jimmy: this is what is going to be causing -- >> this is, honest to god, this is what it is. it is a beautiful cocktail. and boy you have more than one of these babies? whoo! you can't stand up. listen, by the way, what a great week here in brooklyn. [ cheers and applause ] thank you for bringing the show back. >> jimmy: thank you for being here and being a part of it. mm, that is very good. there's no reason to be mad at all anymore. >> you're not mad when you're tasting this. >> jimmy: look at this. there's your playbill right there. i love the look on your face. that's the great bryan cranston, everybody. go see him in "network." the previews start november 10th at the belasco theater on broadway.sren r. wel right bk.
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♪ ♪ >> jimmy: if you could only choose one, hip or hop? >> go ahead, go ahead. >> hip. >> i'll take hop. then we could put our [ bleep ] together and be hip-hop. >> that's dope. >> it is.
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>> [ bleep ] that's hard. >> jimmy: where do goosebumps go? >> oh, that's a good one, that's a good one. >> i could give you a scientific theory on that, jimmy. >> jimmy: good, please do. >> so goosebumps, first they pop up, they make their appearance. then they pop down. >> jimmy: they just go back down? >> yeah. just go back down. >> what kind of lazy [ bleep ] philosophy? i thought, man. >> that's high science. >> jimmy: which vegetable would make the best weapon? >> i would say corn on the cob. >> seriously. >> jimmy: the cob itself? >> you could kill somebody with a squash, i don't know about no corn on the cob. >> squash is soft in the middle. >> really? >> jimmy: that's why they call it squash. >> it's yellow, it looks like a -- >> jimmy: that's a squash. >> i think you could crash somebody's head wide open with
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that [ bleep ]. you can't crack nobody's head? >> no, thanks, not my head. >> all right, i'll take my [ bleep ] back, then. >> dicky: ciroc black raspberry, the answer to life's ridiculous questions. is time you make for yourself. aveeno® daily moisturizing lotion with active naturals® oat. locks in moisture to improve skin wellness in just one day. aveeno® naturally beautiful results® tbuy more - save mores for your family! with an extra 15 or 20% off! save on women's denim - just $21.24 pick up fall boots for the family and new at kohl's - legos! you'll get kohl's cash too! this weekend - at kohl's.
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with an extra 15 or 20% off! save on cozy bedding - $67.99 pick up new cookware and a crock pot is just $25.49. you'll get kohl's cash too! this weekend - at kohl's. if you want to get take the most details about your family history. my pie chart showed that i'm from all over europe, but then it got super specific. i learned my people came from a small region in poland, and even a little bit of the history about why they might have migrated during that time. those migration patterns are more than just lines on a map, they're really your family's story. i can't wait to see what i'm going to discover next. connecting 20 million members to a deeper family story. order your kit at ancestry.com narrator: he claims to be an education reformer, but marshall tuck's failed record managing actual schools won't work as superintendent of public instruction. as ceo of l.a.'s partnership schools, the teachers gave tuck a vote of "no confidence." and tuck's total mismanagement of l.a. charter schools
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caused financial problems that cost taxpayers thousands. tony thurmond. the only candidate endorsed by classroom teachers. holding all our schools accountable and always protecting neighborhood public schools. tony thurmond. for our schools. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: paul shaver and the cletones. welcome back. it is our closing night at b.a.m. we have music from wu-tang clan on the way. first, it is the end of the week which means it is time to bleep and blur the big tv moments in a special big apple themed edition
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of "this week in unnecessary censorship." >> hundreds of people spent the day embracing the new season at the rutgers gardens [ bleep ] festival. >> my granddad used to say, joe biden says it too, don't tell me what you believe in, show me your [ bleep ]. >> tips for [ bleep ]ing the juiciest black [ bleep ]. >> the red sox are headed to the world series. >> tomorrow a bill over [ bleep ], [ bleep ] is set to go before the new york city council. >> i want to [ bleep ] every single one of you. >> the new york [ bleep ] festival is happening this weekend. >> this one's going to be interesting. can lebron [ bleep ] this hard every night at his age? >> changing the world one [ bleep ] at a time. >> i'll only do it if i can [ bleep ] her [ bleep ]. that will not be something i enjoy doing either. >> if anyone has information call [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. >> apple is getting ready to pay people to [ bleep ] themselves
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silly. >> this is ridiculous. somebody needs to do something about this. what is going on? >> meteorologist byron brandon knows a thing or two about [ bleep ], [ bleep ]. right? they're long when you and i go out. >> that's what i'm talking about. >> oh, boy. >> it's good to see our pachyderm pals so happy. why don't we show each other [ bleep ]? get off me! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we'll be back with the wu-tang clan! >> dicky: music in brooklyn on "jimmy kimmel live" is brought to you by google pixel 3.
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>> dicky: music in brooklyn on "jimmy kimmel live" is brought to you by google pixel 3. >> jimmy: we've had a fantastic week here at the b.a.m. opera house and it ain't over till the fat lady sings. by the way i've been eating, the fat lady is me. i want to thank bryan cranston, amy sedaris, billy crudup, pail schaefer, thank you for being
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here. apologies to matt damon. we did run out of time for him. "nightline" is next. first this is their album, "enter the wu-tang: 36 chambers." here with the song "protect ya neck," wu-tang! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ brooklyn, yeah, yeah, what's up, yo! ♪ i smoke on the mic like smokin joe frazier the hell-raiser raisin' hell ♪ ♪ with the flavor terrorize the jam like troops in pakistan ♪ ♪ swingin' through your town like your neighborhood spider-man ♪ ♪ so uhh tick tock and keep tickin' while i get you flippin' off the ♪ ♪ that i'm kicking the lone ranger code red: danger ♪ ♪ deep in the dark with the art
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to rip the charts apart ♪ ♪ the vandal too hot to handle you battle you're sayin ♪ ♪ goodbye like tevin campbell roughneck inspectah deck's on thebel i make more noise than heavy metal the way i make ♪ ♪ the crowd go wild sit back relax won't smile rae got it goin' on pal ♪ ♪ call me the rap assassinator rhymes rugged and built like schwarzenegger ♪ ♪ and i'ma get mad deep like a threat blow up your project then take all ♪ ♪ your assets 'cause i came to shake the frame in half ♪ ♪ with the thoughts that bomb like math so if you wanna try to flip ♪ ♪ go flip on the next man 'cause i grab ♪ and more i got ♪ ♪ goin' to war with the meltin' pot it's the method man ♪ ♪ for short mr. mef movin' on your left and set it off ♪ ♪ get it off let it off like a gat i wanna break ♪ small change they puttin' shame ♪ ♪ in the game i take aim and blow out the frame ♪ note and like fame my style will live forever ♪ ♪ crossing over but they don't know no better ♪ ♪ but i do true can i get a suuu nuff respect due to the 1-6-oooh ♪
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♪ i mean ohhh yo check out the flow like the hudson or pcp ♪ ♪ when i'm dustin' off because i'm hot like sauce ♪ ♪ the smoke from the lyrical blunt make me cough ooh what grab my nut ♪ ♪ get screwed comes my shaolin style to my crew with a suuuu ♪ ♪ to my crew with the to my crew with the to my crew with the ♪ ♪ first things first you be ♪ shame on you when you step through to ♪ ♪ hands up you went up shake up and down ♪ ♪ outta here the wu is too slamming for these ♪
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♪ cold killin' labels some ain't had hits ♪ ♪ since i seen aunt mabel be doin' artists in like cain did abel ♪ ♪ now they money's getting stuck to the gum under the table ♪ ♪ you ain't bust back ♪ with all times to shake will.i.am ♪ ♪ i give an order to my people ♪ go play around the border ♪ make you fall like a shooting star ♪ ♪ and get far like a shootin' star 'cause who i are is livin' the life of pablo escobar ♪ ♪ point-blank as i kick the square biz there it is ♪ with pros and there it goes yo chill with the feedback black we don't need that ♪ ♪ it's 10 o'clock your seed at ♪ ♪ feelin' mad hostile wearin' aéropostale flowin' like christ ♪ ♪ when i speaks the gospel stroll with the holy robe then attack the globe ♪ ♪ with the buck-us style the ruckus ten times ten men committin' mad sin ♪ ♪ turn the other cheek and i'll break your slayin' boom-bangs ♪ ♪ like african drums he'll be comin' around the mountain when i come ♪ ♪ crazy flamboyant for the rap enjoyment my clan increase like black unemployment ♪ ♪ yeah another one dare ju-jugger-genius
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take us the ♪ ♪ the wu is too slamming for these ♪ ♪ cold killin' labels some ain't had hits ♪ ♪ since i seen aunt mabel be doin' artists in like cain did abel ♪ ♪ now they money's getting stuck to the gum under the table ♪ ♪ that's what you get when you misuse what i invent your empire falls ♪ ♪ and you lose every cent for tryna blow up a scrub now that thought ♪ ♪ was just as bright as a 20-watt light bulb should've pumped it when i rocked it ♪ ♪ so stingy they got short arms and deep pockets this goes on ♪ ♪ in some companies with majors they're scared to death to pump these ♪ ♪ first of all who's your a&r a mountain climber who plays an ♪ ♪ electric guitar but he don't know the meanin' of dope ♪ ♪ when he's lookin' for a suit-and-tie rap that's cleaner than ♪ ♪ a bar of soap and i'm the dirtiest thing in sight ♪ ♪ matter of fact bring out the girls and let's have ♪ ♪ a mud fight whoo ♪ you best protect ya neck protect ya neck ♪ you y'all feeling out there? [ cheers and applause ]
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save your life. hey, yo. this is "nightline." >> tonight, breaking news. a startling admission from saudi arabia in the death of journalist jamal khashoggi. president trump reacting. road to freedom. once dubbed america's littlest monster. >> this was the mugshot. >> i was crying in the picture. i was crying that whole night. >> arrested and convicted for murdering his pregnant soon to be stepmom when he was just 11 years old. now his conviction overturned. and speaking publicly for the first time to our juju chang. why one of the men who arrested him is sticking to his guns. >> we did not get this wrong. we didn't get it wrong.

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