tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC January 9, 2019 11:35pm-12:38am PST
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we appreciate your time. i'm dan >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- golden globe winner mahershala ali. from "beautiful boy", maura tierney. and music from jeff tweedy. and now, stay put. jimmy kimmel! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: thanks. hi there. thanks for watching. good to see you. very nice. very fine audience.
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thank you for joining us on a, again, another day of wall to wall drama here. this is one of those days that there's almost too much to wrap were your head around. last night, as you probably know, the president interrupted prime time television to read a speech from the oval office, to warn us about mexicans, as if they're a migration of killer bees swarming after us. the speech i think was intended to convince us that we have a crisis at the border. he's married to one and refuses to have sex with him. this was not an inspired speech. it looked like he was giving it at gun point. and he was sniffling. i don't know, maybe he forgoto take his allergy medication.
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>> are you suffering from congestion? uncontrollable persistent sniffling? finally, there is hope, wallegra, for border-negotiating related delusions. ask your indicted campaign manager if wallegra is right for you. it may cause a sudden inability to use numbers and facts. wallegra, shut down the government, not your sinuses. >> available at border walgreens. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: it was a very drippy speech, nasal and otherwise, but trump wasn't the only leader who came off badly. i don't know who's vieadvising
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them. but as bad as trump's presentation was, the rebuttal from chuck schumer and nancy pelosi might have been worse. >> good evening. i appreciate the opportunity to talk to the american people about how we can end this shutdown. >> obviously, they subscribe to netflix. they look like the trailer for "get out two." two scary white people are the secret. the main thing was trump. he had bigly whopper the ffor u. he had more lies. trump claimed the wall, if we build it, will pay for itself. the only person in history who ever bankrupted a casino says the wall will pay for itself. then today, after a speech that changed exactly no one's mind, the president said all right, i'm going to meet with the
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democrats. and as you read, it did not go well. just left the meeting with chuck and fancy. a total waste of time. i asked what is going to happen in 30 days in i quickly open things up. will you fund the wall, nancy pelosi said no. i said bye-bye. he desperately wants to pin it on democrats even though president trump said he was proud to claim it for himself. cable news rushes out. and here's chuck schumer's take. >> he asked speaker pelosi if she would fund the wall, and she said no. and he said we have nothing to discuss and he walked out. again, we saw a temper tantrum. >> jimmy: he also claimed
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president trump slammed the table but vice president pence had a very different take on the encounter. >> can you describe what the president did in the meeting and are we any closer to having a national emergency declared? >> well, the president walked into the room and passed out candy. it's true. >> it is true. >> jimmy: he handed out butterfingers and m&ms. i wonder if he hands out the brown m&ms or if he stuffs those back in the bag. but the morning started with a press conference about the wall, the president is pointing to other countries as proof. >> israel put up a wall, 99.9%
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successf successful according to netanyahu. he told me 99.9. maybe he'll change it. but they put up a wall, and they don't have a problem anymore. >> jimmy: yeah, right, never have any problems in israel. here's the thing, walls don't stop drugs from getting in. prisons have walls, drugs get into prisons all the time. you know what will stop people from getting across the border? the customs and dea agents. the people donald trump hasn't been paying for the last three weeks. one reporter jon karl asked w w they didn't just pay the
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workers. >> why not sign the bill so the workers -- >> do you think i should do that? do you think i should do that, jon? >> it's not for me. >> no, seriously, do you think i should just sign? tell me, tell me. jon, you think i should just sign? >> i'm saying if you sign that, these workers can start getting paid. >> if you were in my position you would do that. >> i'm not in your position. >> i'm asking you, would you do that if you were in my position, because if would you do that, you should never be in this position. good-bye, everybody. thank you very much. >> jimmy: it was a fun day. there's no end to the shutdown in sight unless they listen to me. i have a plan to end the shutdown tomorrow, for real. you want to hear it? [cheers and applause] i don't want to set the expectations too high, but, we
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all know the house isn't going to authorize the money to pay for this wall. it's a waste. even donald trump knows it doesn't make sense. he promised it, because he didn't think he was going to win. he might as well promise us all jet packs. he told the people who voted for him that he was going to build it, now they want it built. how does he get out of it without looking like he lost. we pretend to build the wall. trumpcares so litt trump cares so little about the wall, he might as well start calling it eric. and tell the red hat club that the wall is approved, it's going up, we found a pot of gold on the tijuana border, we're use being that to build it. there's no reason to be honest. if trump tells his trumpers that the wall is being built, they'll believe it. are they going to go down there
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and check? no. just take a picture of him in a hard hat. he can cut the ribbon, a group of actors can come in and start digging. he's happy, we're happy and everybody can go back to work. just maybe at the end of all this donald trump will realize that the wall he thought he wanted so desperately was inside him the whole time. so the government shutdown is now 19 days old. 19 days, nearly 800,000 federal employees are not getting paid. so we're doing our small part to help. monday we hired a prison guard to play tambourine in the band. last night we had a firefighter assist guillermo with security. and tonight we are joined by, come on out here. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: how are you?
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thank you for coming. now you are a tsa agent, correct? >> yes. >> jimmy: so you do the frisking and all that stuff. >> unfortunately. >> jimmy: do people take off their shoes in front of you, literally, maybe 200 times a day. >> yes. >> jimmy: and what are some of the challenges? >> i work at the terminal, where sometimes they don't understand and they start getting undressed. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yes. >> jimmy: i feel like if he knew they were getting naked he'd be fine with them coming in. how long have you been working without getting paid? >> it's going on two and a half. >> jimmy: and you're continuing to work. >> yes, i have to go after this. >> jimmy: it's the one-year anniversary of marijuana being
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legal here in california. [cheers and applause] we're going to play a game called who's high. [cheers and applause] so sal, how are you? >> good, how you doin'? >> jimmy: it's all right? we have three pedestrians, we are going to guess who is high. two are not, one is. do you ever run into people who have marijuana on them in the airport? >> all the time. >> jimmy: what is the policy? >> i call the bigger guys, the police, and they handle it. >> jimmy: the police handle it even though it's legal? >> yes. >> jimmy: what do they do? >> they smell it, and i don't know. >> jimmy: bring in the first group. there we have it, ask any questions you might want to ask. let's start with the gentleman on the left there. what is your name, andrew? where are you from?
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>> maryland, ocean city, maryland. >> jimmy: you here on vacation? >> yes, i am. >>. >> jimmy: i know the staff tries to trick us. they'll pick a guy who has long hair and i'll jump to the conclusion that he's high. andrew, have you ever smoked marijuana? >> i have before. >> jimmy: you have before. we can almost immediately tell he's not the guy. all right. let's meet the next person. the next person is, what is your name? >> germany. >> jimmy: germany is your name? >> what's wrong with that? [cheers a [cheers and applause] >> i can lead you into the studio. >> jimmy: how do you spell that? i can't see your nametag, it's too far away. and finally, we have, who, there? let's see.
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louie. louie, where are you from? >> i'm from london, but i'm australian. >> jimmy: germany, where are from you? >> colorado. >> jimmy: where it is also legal. let's get a close up at everybody's eyes. do you have a question you want to ask? >> what did they have for lunch. >> jimmy: andrew? >> pizza. >> jimmy: germany? >> i had air. >> jimmy: and louie? >> i had in-n-out burger. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: what are the signs? do you want to look at their eyes? should we take a closeup look and see what's going on eye wise? right all right. that's andrew. pretty clear. let's look deep into germany's eyes. and germany, you seem like a lot of fun. >> he wasn't this serious in the
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green mile. >> jimmy: and louie, louie, what's louie? you know, what are you thinking here? >> well, it's not the guy who had air for lunch. >> jimmy: not the guy who had air for lunch. i think it's louie. >> hmm, i think it is her. >> jimmy: we're going to say louie. louie, are you high? >> do i have to answer that question? >> jimmy: yes, you do. >> am i high? no. >> whose parents were high when they named them? >> jimmy: germany, what are you laughing at? >> he said the same thing i did, that i was high because i couldn't spell my name right. >> jimmy: what do you think now? >> i think it's andrew. >> jimmy: you think it's andrew. andrew, are you high? >> yes, i'm high.
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[cheers and applause] >> jimmy: all right, what do we have for our guests? >> we have whipped cream. they look famished here. >> jimmy: whipped cream. thank you, and thanks to all of you for playing who's high. [cheers and applause] thank you very much. i hope you get back to work very soon. >> thank you. >> jimmy: hey, we have a great show. music from jeff tweedy. maura tierney is here. and we'll be right back with mahershala ali. [cheers and applause] ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ t-mobile knows dancing is better when you include a partner. singing is better when you include a friend. and unlimited is better with a phone included. it's true. forty bucks with the other guys, doesn't include a phone. so, start the new year right.
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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. tonight, from her latest movie, with timothee chalamet and steve carell called "beautiful boy," maura tierney is here. then, his album is called "warm," the great jeff tweedy from the mercedes-benz stage. [cheers and applause] tomorrow night, claire foy and michael irvin will join us, and we'll have music from disturbed. so please join us for that. the last time our first guest was here, he'd just won an academy award. this time he just won a golden globe. who knows, maybe next time it will be a olympic medal. please say hello. [cheers and
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♪ >> jimmy: how you doin'? >> i'm good man. >> jimmy: glad to see you, congratulations on winning the golden globe. >> thanks. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: you, the movie won three golden globes. >> yes. >> jimmy: you won best supporting actor. >> yes. >> jimmy: and then you were in the spiderman animated movie. what does it feel like to be a winner? >> well, pretty good. >> jimmy: it feels pretty good. >> i'm in good company. >> jimmy: what did you do? go to parties? hang out afterwards? >> we went to a couple parties, but it hit a point where so much energy, my wife and i, we took off around midnight or so. >> jimmy: you left at midnight. >> got home and, yeah. >> jimmy: that's very reasonable. did you ever imagine when you were --
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[cheers and applause] >> well, well. >> jimmy: and that, tell us about that. what happened? was love made? >> yeah, it was a quiet night. it was a quiet night. >> jimmy: how old is your daughter? >> she's it 2. >> jimmy: oh, right. your wife was just about to have a baby during the academy awards a couple years ago. >> yeah. yeah. she went with us to the globes. our daughter technically want with us to the globes two years ago, because my wife was pregnant. >> jimmy: you smuggled her in. >> yeah, yeah. this year she was ready to greet us at 5:00 in the morning. >> jimmy: my son is about like that. he's a little younger, but they don't care what you did or what happened the night before. get me up, change me, feed me now. >> eat. and that's that. moana, elmo.
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>> jimmy: elmo's a big one in our house too. that's fantastic. and you really kind of hit this big, you came out of nowhere it seems like. and now all of a sudden you have all these big things going on. you told me, i think you told me a story about auditioning for "game of thrones." >> yes. >> jimmy: which obviously did not happen. >> no. >> jimmy: i imagine they kick themselves a little bit. >> "game of thrones" is doing okay. >> jimmy: they're doing all right. but there's another thing i found out about it, which is the a-team movie. >> yes. >> jimmy: that you were really close to maybe playing ba. >> that was heartbreaking. >> jimmy: it was? >> yeah, because mr. t was a hero of mine growing up. >> jimmy: have you met mr. t? >> i have years ago, years ago. i was doing a show called
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"crossing jordan". and he was like one of the up front parties or something, and we were able to smapnap a pictu. >> jimmy: and he always has the mohawk. would you consider that to be a mohawk? >> the last time i saw you on the show, i had my on very contemporary version of a mohawk, more pointed. this is more like a top fro. >> jimmy: a top fro. is it true you cut your own hair? >> i do. i do. >> jimmy: how do you do the back? >> with a mirror, man. you got to use two mirrors and, you know, whatnot. >> jimmy: if you're using the two mirrors, then it's not backwards? the reverse is reverse? >> i've been doing it so long it's second nature. literally, i've been cutting my hair since i was 12. i just have my ways of doing it. >> jimmy: do you cut other people's hair? >> not at the moment. i'm doing solid financially, it's like okay.
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[cheers a [cheers and applause] i did cut, my brother was visiting me from north carolina a couple weeks ago, and he's the first person other than myself whose hair i have cut in probably 20 years. >> jimmy: how many people have you cut their hair? >> i did in college. >> jimmy: classmates? >> classmates. i had to cut my coach's hair. so me and my coach. we didn't necessarily always get along. >> jimmy: what sport is this? >> basketball. i played college ball. i remember being on road trips and being in the doghouse but getting a phone call in my room, asking me to come cut his hair, and he had this really sharp, hard flat top. years beyond it being cool. and i would be in there just
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dead silent and uncomfortable and cutting his hair for 45 minutes. it was torture. >> jimmy: what would happen, i mean, if you screwed it up, it seems like you could be penalized for that. >> a lot of pressure. couldn't get any worse. i wasn't playing anyway. >> jimmy: oh, is that right? >> yeah, as long as i didn't lose my scholarship. >> jimmy: how many minutes did you play? >> i'm exaggerating. i played for sure and was even a starter for years off and on. but it was real inconsistent, you know, so there'd be a game where i could play 30 minutes, and the next game you might play three. >> jimmy: i see, i see. depending on how the haircut went. >> exactly. it's good preparation for acting. >> jimmy: is it really? basketball is good, why? >> in some ways. >> jimmy: in what ways? >> a real way, the preparation, in terms of learning how to share and not make it about you and knowing that you're going to win as a result of the effort of
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your teammates. >> jimmy: well, that is a good lesson, but i don't think most actors get that lesson. >> well. >> jimmy: maybe it's not necessarily a team effort in a lot of cases. >> i've worked with a few actors and i thought man, i wish you grew up playing sports. there's a couple people i'm like, ah, you probably ran track. [ applause ] >> jimmy: if they're skinny, watch out. >> jimmy: more with mahershala ali after this. ♪ >> dicky: portions of jimmy jim kimmel live brought to you by the chevy silverado. evy silverado. i'm a little bit of memphis and nashville. with a little bit of motown in my soul. i don't know if it's good or bad.
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>> jimmy: that returns for a third season on sunday night. i had my hopes high, splu absolutely loved the second season, and your old man makeup. >> mike marino. >> jimmy: it's the best old man makeup i've ever seen on any actor. usually they go kind of too crazy with it. but it looks like, it looks natural. >> and if meike and marino and his team doesn't pull that off, the series, the show doesn't work. >> jimmy: it would look ridiculous. >> i was nervous about that going into. you got the scripts and i was blown away and excited that i got the part at that time, but the worry in the back of my mind was how are we going to pull off this staging thing. and what they did is just
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magical. >> jimmy: did you walk around outside of the set with that makeup on? >> i did. i did. yeah. and what was interesting about that was everyone treated me like this old guy that they had a lot of respect for. so they would like move out the way, and like help me indoors. make sure i wasn't falling. a couple times, if i'd roll my ankle real quick people run over. >> jimmy: really? >> i kid you not. >> jimmy: that's great. >> i was like there's something to look forward to, how people treat you. >> jimmy: did your daughter see you in the makeup? >> she did. so every now and then, the schedule's so crazy. i try to find that time when, if my wife is in town, my wife and daughter come visit me on set. they come over one day, and i'm in the old age makeup and she just starts screaming and crying. so i was like, okay, we can't do
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that anymore. so after that, i would try face time. and at a certain time, every time i call from face time from work she would crack up. she was aware it was me at that point. >> jimmy: that's got to be a weird thing. >> really confusing. >> jimmy: the kid, you don't get to see that with your parents ever. but for her that will be really natural. >> yes. >> jimmy: you also were kind enough at our request, to bring the golden globe with you. >> yes. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: it's not really gold, is it? is it real gold? >> hey, it's going to be gold today. >> jimmy: does your daughter play with this? it seems like a toy. it's very hefty. >> no, it doesn't look like any of her dolls that she's into. >> jimmy: so you have an oscar, golden globe, now ""true detective"". i don't want to jinx anything, but real good shot you'll get at least nominated for an emmy if
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pot not win the emmy. i guess the question now is what is your plan to went a grammy? like you got to at least try john legend. >> i'll reach out and talk to john about that. maybe i could do some background vocals on his next single. >> jimmy: i don't think he's going to help you. i think you're going to have to go outside of john. i don't think he wants more winners. the way to win the grammy is, the easy way, for an actor is to read somebody's book. read like a book. >> yeah, and then you get one of those cheap grammys. like an audiotape. >> jimmy: an audio book. >> yo, i'm calling my agent. >> jimmy: absolutely. agent on the phone.
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>> i'm serious. >> jimmy: i'm serious, too. let's make this happen. >> all right, let's do it. >> jimmy: we can work on it. >> for the next five years, i'm getting an audio-taped grammy. >> jimmy: mahershala ali! "true detective" premieres sunday night at 9:00 on hbo and "green book" is in theatres now. we'll be right back. ♪ ♪ (atlas) do humans like watching spinning wheels? (paul) no, luckily sprint's lte advanced network is now up to two times faster than before. and now their total lte coverage is 30% larger. (dad) really? (paul) yeah. (atlas) that's the guy that dies in the end. (avo) get up to two times faster speeds than before and now sprint's total lte coverage is 30% larger. for people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay.com. i can't tell you anything about myself. but believe me... i'm not your average consumer.
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♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ >> jimmy: how you doing? >> good. nice to be back. >> jimmy: it's nice to have you back. i haven't seen you in quite a while. are you working on "the affair" now? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i don't want to spoil anything, but one of the big characters. >> yeah. someone's always got to -- >> jimmy: yeah. >> but i didn't do it. >> jimmy: yeah, right. >> and when i killed the other guy. >> jimmy: there's no need to splan explain. >> i thought it was a deer. >> jimmy: there's did you work hiatus? >> i did. i worked with a group in new york and they tour all over the world. >> jimmy: where do you go? >> the last place i was in was japan. >> jimmy: japan? >> yeah. >> jimmy: you play in japan?
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>> yes. >> jimmy: what's that like doing a play in japan? do you speak japanese? >> i do. >> jimmy: you do? >> no. it's really interesting, because japan first of all is amazing. the audience speak japanese. and we're in english. so there are sub titles behind us. >> jimmy: wow, i've never heard of that before. >> it's experimental theater, so it's done kind of a lot. the audience is very polite. the show is a comedy, and they don't laugh. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. out of politeness. >> jimmy: you want them to laugh. >> you do. but here's the thing. after a few nights, you're like, i'm not going to get a laugh, so i don't even try. >> jimmy: that's what i do.
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that's how i work. that's my men at thtality. >> you are sort of needy. >> jimmy: are there comedy clubs over there? is that -- >> i don't know. >> jimmy: did you go out? did you really get to experience japan? >> yes, i mean, i'm very professional. i didn't go out a whole lot. >> jimmy: what's the best thing you did while you were over there? >> the best, there are so many things, we did amazing things. but one of the funnest, we were in tokyo, and there was this bar called mother. and a lot of the bars were called like grand father or mother. i don't know. >> jimmy: because those are the people who drive you to drink. that's probably what it is. is that why they do it? tochi? tochi's from japan. >> it was down in a basement. and it was a dark bar.
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there was only like it's seats. and you walk in. there's a super cool chick behind the bar, dressed amazingly. and she gives you two menus and a flashlight. it was fun. >> jimmy: uh-huh. >> so one of the menus is a drink menu, and the other menu is a music menu. and the bar is full of cds. so you take the flashlight and pick what song you want, and she sees how many cds and stacks them from front of you. and you pick your song, and you go like number four. she plays it. so incredibly loud. it's so much fun. >> jimmy: you get to deejay yourself. >> you do, except there's other people in there, too. >> jimmy: then you have to listen to their terrible choice. what did you pick? >> stuff in my wheel house when i was younger, like the pixies
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and bowie, and then there were people playing like, the eagles. >> jimmy: the classic rock hits that we hear. >> classic rock hits. you have to wait that out. >> jimmy: you felt superior to those people. >> i felt it. i didn't show it. >> jimmy: right. you kept it inside. you were courteous enough to keep it inside, in keeping with the tradition of being poe heig polite in japan. you did a movie with david bowie. sfw >> i have once. >> jimmy: that counts, doesn't it? >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you talk to him? >> yeah, i tried to talk to him. but you know what's funny about it? >> jimmy: what? >> my friend told me that david bowie really liked the pixies too. and i thought, oh, i could have a conversation with david bowie just so he would think i was
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cool, too. and he said oh, me too. and at lunch he sent his assistant and brought all these pixies songs and we played them in the dress being roing room. >> jimmy: you sat and played records with david bowie? >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you keep in touch c with david after that? >> no. >> jimmy: so he didn't think you were that cool. >> i guess not. >> jimmy: he must have thought you were pretty cool. so you are in this movie, "beautiful boy". steve carell, as i mentioned. you and other fantastic actors. and you guys are, this is based on a true thing. >> two true things. it's a book, david sheff and nick sheff wrote about this very difficult time in their lives when they were having difficulty
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with drug. it's these two perspectives combined. >> jimmy: did you meet the person you play? >> yeah, i play karen. >> jimmy: and you met karen? >> yeah. i talked to her on the phone first and then met her. >> jimmy: she was pleased with your portrayal of her? >> i think so. we all met them a little bit, like steve met david, and met nick. >> jimmy: does it really help you when you meet them? >> it does. if you don't want to stare at them and watch how they eat their sound li their soup like a science experiment. they're a great family. >> jimmy: maura tierney! "beautiful boy" is available to stream on amazon prime. and we'll return with music from jeff tweedy. ♪
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>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: i want to thank mahershala ali and maura tierney, apologies to matt damon. nightline is next, but first, this is his album "warm." here with the song "i know what it's like," jeff tweedy! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ far away from the fireworks display quiet and bright i know what it's like ♪ ♪ i know what it's like i know what it's like to not feel love ♪ ♪ when a sunny day starts to rain keep me in mind
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i know what it's like ♪ ♪ i know what it's like i know what it's like to not feel love ♪ ♪ even when i'm wide awake i keep turning back one page i can't find the plot ♪ ♪ and something else is taking shape i know what it's like to keep losing your place ♪ ♪ my shadow stays even when i'm miles away waiting outside i know what it's like ♪ ♪ i know what it's like i know what it's like to not feel pain ♪
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♪ when the lights are dim in my window i have a twin i'm always looking out and he's always looking in ♪ ♪ i know what it's like starting over again i know what it's like i know what it's like ♪ ♪ i know what it's like to not feel love far away from the fireworks display ♪ ♪ quiet and bright i know what it's like i know what it's like to not feel love ♪ ♪ even when it's years away
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i still think it's yesterday i can't find the plot ♪ ♪ something else is taking shape i know it's a lie when you say it's ok ♪ ♪ i know what it's like i know what it's like i know what it's like i know what it's like ♪ ♪ i know what it's like i know what it's like i know what it's like i know what it's like ♪ ♪ i know what it's like to not feel love i know what it's like to not feel love ♪
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[cheers and applause] this is "nightline." tonight surviving r. kelly. new fallout from the docuseries drama. >> why didn't anyone know this. >> more alleged victims reaching out to law enforcement. authority t authorities now getting involved in two states. plus, i am jazz. we've been following her since she was 6 years old. now the pioneering transgender teen's new journey, taking us through her gender confirmation surgery. the intimate
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