crystal. >> see you tomorrow. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- billy crystal, christina aguilera, desus nice and the kid mero, plus music from emily king. and now, for good measure, jimmy kimmel! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everybody. welcome, welcome, welcome. that's very nice. i'm jimmy, i'm the host of the show. thanks for watching. thanks for coming. i'm glad you're here. i'm glad we're all here. i know why -- i know why you're

so upbeat. how many of you are visiting from the midwest right now? [ cheers and applause ] well, we canceled your flights home, you live with us now. [ laughter ] it was 17 degrees below zero in chicago today. the second-coldest day in recorded history. there's a hash tag calling chicago, chiberia. no one is using it because it's too cold to take your gloves off and text. some people were having fun with this. this guy's walking through at one time a tree. it's so cold, you know they can fry an egg on the sidewalk? you can freeze an egg in a frying pan in chicago. these guys went out on the balcony and froze a shirt. >> this is a board. >> jimmy: very solid. and this lady, i don't know -- she decided -- >> ow! >> jimmy: i don't know why she

decided to do this. >> the banana broke in half! >> jimmy: yeah, right. all that money she invested in the banana hammer business went to waste. it's a lot of schools closed today, it was literally too cool for school today. in situations like this when you work at the school district you have to get the word out to make sure kids and parents don't come in. and this is great. this is a principal and a school superintendent from genesee county, michigan. they really hit this out of the park. ♪ i heard about a winter storm it's cold and dreary stay home stay warm ♪ ♪ it's cold and it's a snowy winter morning ♪ ♪ it goes like this when the snow hits ♪ ♪ the buses can't get out of it ♪ ♪ it's cold and it's a snowy winter morning ♪ ♪ it's a snow day oh it's a cold day ♪

♪ stay home and just play it's a great family day ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. give those guys a pair of grammy awards. [ cheers and applause ] i don't know why the glasses were necessary, but i like it. in washington the president's keeping warm by tweeting up a little storm of his own this morning. this morning he lashed out at his own intelligence officials who dared to contradict him with facts. he wrote, the intelligence people seem to be extremely passive and naive when it comes to the dangers of iran, they are wrong. when i became president, iran was making trouble all over the middle east and beyond. since ending the terrible iran nuclear deal, they are much different, but -- then we wait six minutes. [ laughter ] figure out what other country we might be able to move to. there it is. a source of potential danger and conflict. they are testing rockets last week and more and coming very

close to the edge. their economy is now crashing which is the only thing holding back. be careful of iran. perhaps intelligence should go back to school. [ laughter ] and of course he used the wrong spelling of the word "there." only donald trump would tell someone to go back to school whole making a grammatical mistake. [ laughter ] donald trump is now literally insulting his own intelligence. not just ours anymore. these are his people. it might be time to take the keys away from grandpa before he drives us all into a melon stand. [ cheers and applause ] even in the midst of all this, russia, as more and more members of the president's inner circle get fitted for handcuffs, some of the president's supporters are still hardcore, chief among them his press secretary, sarah huckabee s., who said she believes trump is in power thanks to the lord god himself. >> i think god calls all of us

to fill different roles at different times. i think that he wanted donald trump to become president, and that's why he's there. >> jimmy: no, he didn't. even god was like, what the hell? i can't take my eyes off you people for a minute! now here's some positive news. while most of the sports world is right now focused on the super bowl on sunday, this is some pretty super bowling by a 10-year-old kid. >> with this strike on saturday here at jersey lanes in linden, he became what is believed to be the youngest person in new jersey to ever bowl a perfect 300 in league competition. >> jimmy: that kid is ky struthers from maplewood, new jersey. we tracked him down. crap [ cheers and applause ] hello, how are you doing, ky? congratulations.

i see you got a lot of trophies there, ky, are those all bowling trophies or are there trophies for other sports? >> all bowls. >> how long have you been bowling? >> ever since i was 4. >> jimmy: 4 years old. do you have your own shoes or do you rent? >> i have my own shoes. >> jimmy: take us back to that moment. you've thrown 11 strikes in a row. then you have to throw one more strike to roll a perfect game. what's going through your head at that time? >> i was thinking about the phrase about cold, ice, it means i conquer everything. >> jimmy: have you ever come close to bowling 300 before? >> as i came close, i shot 280. >> jimmy: 280, woo. that's great. i got a 280 on my s.a.t. test when i was in high school. [ laughter and applause ] when you bowl do you use the hand dryer or is that for amateurs?

>> i do all the time. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: what is your average score, ky? what do you usually bowl? >> my average is a 197. >> jimmy: holy cow. do you ever lose to other kids? are there any kids who can compete with you? >> yes, i beat a grownup yesterday because he always challenged me. i beat him 270. i beat him 275-257. >> jimmy: do you ever take money from grownups? >> no. but i want to when i grow up. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: no money changes hands, you're just bowling for beers, right? >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ky, what do you think about kids who use gutter guards? >> i just think they're bad. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you think they're bad. now that you've bowled a perfect game, is there anything to look forward to? maybe you want to host the oscars? >> yes. >> jimmy: what are you looking forward to, ky? >> becoming a professional bowler. >> jimmy: oh, who is your favorite professional bowler?

>> jason martin and jerry fullmer jr. >> jimmy: yes, i'm a fan of his too. [ laughter ] his dad was great also, right? >> yes. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah yeah. ky, congratulations. i mean, i have to tell you what, if my dad would adopt you in a minute, if things don't work out with your parents, let me know because you'd be very welcome in our family. all right? [ cheers and applause ] keep bowling, ky, thank you. don't ever stop bowling. >> okay. >> jimmy: even when they tell you the alley is closed, keep throwing balls. very cute. one more thing. as those of you who are here in our studio audience know, we do our show in hollywood, on hollywood boulevard, we're across the street from a mall, the hollywood and highland mall. there are a lot of shops over there. we thought it would be fun to give people visiting our area a real celebrity experience. we set up some hidden cameras at the randy's doughnut shoppach cross the street and enlisted the help of a major music star to sing live over the speakers

in the store as the customers waited for doughnuts. and the rest, as you will see, is doughnut history. this is our first-ever edition of "undercover sing" with christina aguilera. ♪ ♪ i'm a genie in a bottle ♪ oh oh ♪ he's a guy in a dodgers hat he is here with a lady ♪ ♪ he just wants to eat some doughnuts and give some to the baby too ♪ u t' g on♪nd you really want yo doughnut i'm gonna bring it to you ♪ ♪ i'm gonna bring you your doughnut ♪ ♪ hey

>> i'm your genie in a bottle. >> thank you! >> all right! ♪ come come come on in ♪ here's a guy in all denim and he also has a large chain ♪ ♪ he just wants to eat some doughnuts ♪ ♪ he is totally freaking out and he's looking really cute ♪ ♪ just because he's in a song now and the song's about you ♪ ♪ whoo yes, i love it, i love it. ♪ he is looking really cute and his doughnut's looking cute too ♪ >> no! ♪ here's your doughnut and you're looking cute too ♪ yes, yes. what's your name? >> vince. >> nice to meet you. >> thank you. >> thank you for coming in my doughnut shop. >> i can't wait to hear that

song, like what is happening right now? ♪ makes me that much stronger makes me work a little bit harder ♪ ♪ makes me that much ♪ wiser yes, yes! i love it! ♪ what a guy wants what a guy needs ♪ ♪ he's looking cute in his gone fishing tee ♪ ♪ i wonder what kind of doughnut he'll get what you want ♪ ♪ what you got at randy's doughnuts it's what you want ♪ ♪ going to fish for a doughnut ♪ guy in glasses looking real cute ♪ ♪ i'm singing to you don't doubt yourself ♪ ♪ you are looking cute in that blue shirt ♪ ♪ snapping your fingers on the glass now click click click click tap tap tap tap ♪ ♪ click click tap tap ♪ thanks for being so patient

♪ about to make your doughnut fantasy come true ♪ thanks for being a sport, i was really working hard on this doughnut. come to my vegas show, okay? okay? >> oh. >> see you in vegas, love you, thank you. >> bye. ♪ two catwomen buying doughnuts ♪ ♪ look at these two doughnut queens ♪ >> what? ♪ standing next to captain america ♪ ♪ they don't know what's happening right now ♪ ♪ and they're very confused too ♪ >> oh! ♪ nothing wrong with those doughnuts hey ♪ >> oh!

>> love you christina! ♪ there's a pretty couple buying some doughnuts ♪ ♪ can't sit with what to get ♪ it's christina aguilera singing about you or are these voices in your head ♪ >> wait what? ♪ i'm singing to you christina aguilera singing to you baby ♪ >> what? ♪ if you can hear me hop on one foot now ♪ >> she can see us! ♪ yeah now baby yeah ♪ hop with us baby for your doughnuts ♪ ♪ he's working for the doughnuts and so am i ♪ ♪ gonna give it to you >> oh my god! oh my god! ♪ i'm gonna give to it you been slaving away on those doughnuts all day. >> christina! >> hi, guys.

>> best day of my life. >> have a good time today, guys, thanks for coming in. >> thank you! >> mwah! enjoy your doughnuts! >> i'm going to pee myself. can i get the texas glazed? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thanks to christina aguilera. you can see christina has a new live show, "christina aguilera the experience" starting may 31st at the zappos theaters in planet hollywood in las vegas. tonight on the show, music from emily king. desus and mero are here. and we'll be right back with billy crystal. 6pm. no excuses. [engine revs] ♪ be fast.

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>> jimmy: welcome back to the show. tonight they have their own new show on showtime called "desus and mero." desus nice and the kid mero are here. then, this is her album, it is titled "scenery." emily king from the mercedes-benz stage. you can see emily live on tour starting tomorrow in minneapolis, where it was 16 degrees below zero today. so if you're going to the show, bring mittens. tomorrow night, our guests are viggo mortensen and rita moreno with music from summer walker, and we will have guillermo's exclusive report from the super bowl as well? >> guillermo: yeah, tomorrow night, yes. >> jimmy: there's camera guys in front of you. [ laughter ] who did you get? >> guillermo: tom brady. [ chees and boos ] >> jimmy: bill -- bill -- bill

bullicheck? >> jimmy: almost, yes. >> guillermo: the coach of the ram. >> sean mcvay? >> guillermo: yeah. todd gurley. and the quarterback of the rams. >> jimmy: jared goff, all right, very good. guillerm guillermo, the football expert. all the ins and outs, he knows them. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our first guest is one of the all-time comedy greats. he is a legendary legend who adds rabbi to his long list of roles in the new movie "untogether," it opens in theaters andvod a week from friday. please welcome billy crystal. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> yes, yes. >> jimmy: there he is. i told you he was coming. >> wow. >> jimmy: how are you doing? >> i'm good. >> jimmy: great to have you here. >> thank you. >> jimmy: this in a way is kind of a warmup for you tonight,

isn't it? >> i have a big announcement to make. >> jimmy: okay. >> you've seen a lot of very -- i'll say important people making announcements on late-night shows about they're entering a race. so tonight, because you know, i love being here. >> jimmy: yes, thank you for bringing this to us. >> i will be the guest announcer tomorrow night for the laker/clipper game. [ cheers and applause ] the entire game. >> jimmy: i presume you will be on the clippers side of the broadcast, since you are a clippers fan? >> yes, i'm a clipper fan. >> jimmy: yes. >> and i will -- [ boos ] >> oh, come on. >> jimmy: let me scold the audience. it's mean to boo clippers fans, they've been through a lot, okay? [ laughter ] >> i mean, a real lot. yeah. so ralph lawler, who's their great announcer -- >> jimmy: legendary broadcaster. >> 40 years, is retiring. when i saw that ralph is retiring, i've known him all

this time, i thought, he needs a farewell tour. so i volunteered to do a game. >> jimmy: he's 80 years old, right? >> well, the clippers will age you. [ laughter ] so we're doing the entire game tomorrow night. >> jimmy: does he know you're doing the game or you just slide in next to him and start talking? >> no, we've been talking and coming up with things. he has his own catch phrases. >> jimmy: he does. >> oh me oh my! >> jimmy: right. >> which sounds like a character from a lucy episode. oh me oh my, miss mcgill la custodydy! >> jimmy: that's probably where he got it. >> he yells, bingo! which with my relatives is like saying, alexa. they suddenly wake up. b-57! did i get the tupperware? yeah, so i'm coming up with my own -- >> jimmy: you have your own catch phrases? >> i have a couple, i'll try them out. a slam dunk and i'll yell, that will bring the taliban to the table! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i like it. i wouldn't say it's timely, but

it's political. it's got an edge. >> there's a hard drive to the table. prince philip will be jealous about that one! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: brings in a whole new crowd, yeah. i by the way did this with ralph lawler once on the radio on a little a.m. radio station in 1996. somebody had the bright idea to pair me with ralph and he hated me. >> how could he hate you? >> jimmy: oh, easy. [ laughter ] >> he's the sweetest man. what did you say to him, jimmy? >> jimmy: i didn't say anything to him. ye wait for them to make shots. any time i took a shot i yelled "bingo" and it was getting him angry. >> oh, yeah. yeah, you don't want to do that. >> jimmy: i might have called the coach of the clippers, bill fitch, phil bitch accidentally a couple of times. >> i understand, i understand. >> jimmy: this is the most fun because you love sports. >> i do, over the years i've done fun things. >> jimmy: you have. can i show a picture here?

you mind? >> okay, this is the most fun ever. >> jimmy: okay. >> the day before my 60th birthday. which is weird because on my imdb page, i'm 48. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: just shows how much range you have, really. >> yeah. and the yankees signed me to a one-day practice. >> jimmy: the greatest, right? >> and i was the dh, the designated hebrew. [ laughter ] against the pittsburgh pirates. i was the leadoff man. and i was never more nervous in my life. i mean, i was a good player, but i'm 59 years old. >> jimmy: yeah. >> just getting a cup on, i tore a hamstring. you see how i do that. this is right before i'm going to make my major league debut with the great hall of famer to be next year, derek jeter. look at the look on my face as derek is -- [ laughter ]

he's about to say," way to go." he had a superstitious thing about tapping guys on the head. if there was a reverse shot and you saw me from behind, i would have been in trouble. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah, right. he does look -- >> i was that nervous. >> jimmy: who did you hit against? >> paul maholm. >> jimmy: you do remember. >> you don't forget that. >> jimmy: how did it go? >> the first pitch was outside. i didn't see it, it sounds outside. [ laughter ] the second pitch i hit. i hit a shot down the right field line. it was just foul. and somebody in the stands yelled "double!" and i was petrified. if i had have run to second, i'd have had to stop twice to pee. [ laughter ] so then -- so that's 1-1. then two balls in a row, 2-1, 3-1. i'm this far from first base, just like my prom. [ laughter ] he throws me two cutters, 90 miles an hour. and i struck out.

but the crowd gave me a standing ovation. and a-rod, bless his heart, calls time-out and gets the ball that i struck out with. and they stop the game. first time in the history of baseball, to give the ball to a guy who struck out. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i assume you still have the ball. >> of course i do. so now, i mean, it was the thrill of a lifetime. >> jimmy: yeah. >> it was ridiculously great. you dream about it your whole life. now i'm in the dugout. it's like, wow, that really happened. and now i'm sitting with yogi berra and reggie jackson and ron guidry. an official says, mr. steinbrenner would like to see you. i go to mr. steinbrenner's office, he's sitting behind the desk, godfather-like. sit down, kid! yes, sir. he made the whole thing happen, right? so i sit down. did you have fun? i said, george, it was amazing. good, because i just traded you

for jerry seinfeld. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. that's pretty good. >> seinfeld and a porsche, that was the deal. >> jimmy: what is your prized possession sports-wise? do you have one item like in your collection that you love more than anything? >> yeah, yeah. there's a chair that -- from the original yankee stadium. so it's from 1920-something. and so when they tore the stadium down, i got one of these chairs. and mickey mantle signed it to me, who i had become very friendly with over time. and it says, billy, wish you were still sitting here and i was still playing. >> jimmy: wow. >> and it's remarkable. >> jimmy: wow. >> and the other thing i have, it's true, is joer torrey's cup. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: does he know you have it? >> yeah, he gave to it me. and it's autographed.

it's an old-time metal cup from when he played with the milwaukee braves. >> jimmy: for real? they made them out of metal? >> i'll take a picture of it and you can show it tomorrow night. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: all right. >> you can eat out of it. >> that sounds like a hell of a dinner. billy crystal is here. his movie is called "untogether." we'll be right back. at red lobster.erfest in with the most lobster dishes of the year, what'll you choose? how 'bout lobster lover's dream? more like a lobster dream come true. a butter-poached maine tail, roasted rock tail and creamy lobster linguine. or try new lobster in paradise. it's a crispy coconutty, vacation on a plate. new ultimate lobsterfest surf & turf is here, too. 'cause what's better than steak and lobster? steak and lots of lobster. so hurry in and see how you're going to lobsterfest. why are we doing this? why are we doing what? using my old spice moisturize with shea butter body wash...

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so what do you do? >> i'm a rabbi. >> you're kidding. >> no. >> you're just saying that because of what i just said, you're making fun of me because you have a beard. >> that i grew just so i can tell people i'm a rabbi? no. why are you so surprised? >> i didn't think you'd be able to do something like this. >> why? >> isn't it vain? >> it feels vape, yeah. >> do you feel like a [ bleep ]? >> i -- >> i'm sorry, i'm a really bad jew. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that is "untogether." billy crystal. it's in theaters a week from friday and on vod as well. >> the lovely lola kirk. >> jimmy: she is lovely. >> a great cast. jemima kirk, jamie door than from "fifty shades of handcuffs." ben mendelsohn, jennifer gray. it's a little movie written and directed by a wonderful writer named emma forest, takes place

in l.a. it's about six people who are all having problems in their lives. and they somehow get into interchange with each other. >> jimmy: this young woman becomes -- is this ruining it for me to say? >> no, no. what happens is she has lost her father. a short time before. she's looking for somebody in her life, and her relationship with her rock 'n' roll husband, boyfriend, ben mendelsohn, isn't working out. she starts to be enamored with the hip rabbi. because this is a rabbi that, when he was 15, was in the civil rights movement with dr. king as a teenager. he was from the lower east side of new york, he was a smart guy, rebelled against his parents. did the worst thing possible you can do to your parents. it's not drugs, it's going religious. so he became a rabbi. he has a very kind of cool congregation. she starts to like him, and she doesn't reciprocate. but he does have a moment of

questioning. well, maybe i -- >> jimmy: yeah, sure. >> maybe it's only nine commandments. maybe it's only nine. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: she kisses you as well. >> yeah, she gives me -- yeah. >> jimmy: when you see that in the script are you like, oh, great! >> i love it, it's an interesting character. it's a tiny movie made for very little money. we change in our cars, basically. i love the energy of it. >> jimmy: remember, you're under oath. [ laughter ] >> a lot of people will be. >> jimmy: when you make a movie, you made a movie with all these great actors, robert de niro, for instance. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you guys really were a fantastic pair. do you -- like do you maintain that relationship? or is it just kind of over? >> no, we have. we're really the best of friends. and i was so -- when we did "analyze this," i was so enamored with him. because he's the greatest actor of our generation. now i'm opposite him. and peter tollen, a wonderful comedy writer, and i had written the draft we were going to make

for the movie. and the brilliant late harold ramis was the director. when you're finally going to act with him, it's like gym class. you know, you strip down in front of your friends and they go, what's that's it? now it's about the work. bob wanted to shoot -- i call him bob. he wanted to shoot all of his anxiety attacks first before he comes in to see me, who i play the psychiatrist. >> jimmy: why did he want to get those done first? >> because he wanted everything to be natural. he wanted to see me at the point of his performance that was the right time. so he had all of his freak-out things, all his anxiety attacks. now it was natural for us to see each other. now it's the first day of shooting for me. and we meet at 6:30 in the morning and he looks terrible. hair, he's got a little bit of growth, he's smoking a cigarette, he's listening to harold. he couldn't have looked sleepier. i'm thinking, oh, no. is he going to be okay? he says, all right, it's two

hours to light, come back two hours later. he's not there. his character is there. this gangster is there. he's shaved. his hair is colored. he's in one of john gotti's suits he had made by john gotti's suitmaker, the same fabric. he's really scary looking. it's like, oh. so harold says to us, here's what we're going to do. you come through the door, bob, you see the doctor, you say, do you know me? i go, yes, i do. he goes, no, you don't. see my picture in the paper? i say, i don't even get the paper. and that's where we're going to cut. my heart's beating like a hummingbird. and he goes, action! you know me? yeah, i do. no, you don't. you ever see my picture in the paper? i don't even get the paper. cut! bob goes like this. come here. i think he's going to say, is that the best that you can do this? instead the world's greatest

actor says to me, if you see anything that i could do that you think might be funnier, just take me aside and just tell me. any idea. and i went, holy [ bleep ]. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: wow. >> so it was -- take two, action! you know me? yes, i do. no, you don't. you see my picture in the paper? i don't even get the paper. cut. i go like this, bob, come here. [ laughter ] is that the best you can do? [ laughter ] and then we just laughed like crazy. and it broke the ice. and we were great friends from then on. >> jimmy: that's a great thing. >> we had such a good time. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> but you know, he's so amazing. everything comes at you like a great tennis player. it comes with different spins, different trajectories, different speeds. playing somebody who listens for a living. >> jimmy: psychiatrist. >> how to react in a different way, and everything was natural.

he says, use two cameras, one on me, one from bill, and we'll get everything real right from the beginning. it was a real lesson every second being with him. >> jimmy: unbelievable, from derek jeter to robert de niro. >> and i wore the cup at both places. >> jimmy: billy crystal, everyone. he'll be wearing a cup tomorrow night in the clippers game and "untogether" on vod on friday and in theaters too. we'll be back with desus and mero. do humans like overpaying with verizon? don't they know they can get the 3rd, 4th and 5th lines free with sprint? (paul) yeah that means sprint's unlimited plan gives you 5 lines for just $20 per month, per line. (mom) really? (atlas) yes and you can save more than $1,000 over verizon and at&t with sprint. (mom) no way! (dad) robots don't lie. (atlas) the man in the mom jeans is correct. (avo) switch today and get 5 lines for just $20 per month per line. see how you can save more than for people with hearing loss, $1,000 in the first year with sprint. visit sprintrelay.com

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>> jimmy: hi, welcome back. desus and mero and music from emily king is on the way. but first, my friends at mercedes-benz and i have information to share about their all new a-class and its most futuristic feature ever. you can talk to the car, and it actually listens. this is amazing technology, i only wish we had it in real life. in fact, i've enjoyed making things happen with my voice in the car so much, i've started making things happen around the office too. >> jimmy: hey, guys. >> yeah. >> jimmy: cute top. >> thanks. >> jimmy: i wish i had a top like that. all right! cute top tuesday. #blessed. oh, develop tabs?

yuck! i want a tray of lasagna. with a bucket of chicken on top. and a tiny guillermo to feed to it me. >> guillermo: is somebody hungry? open wide, jimmy! oh, yummers! >> jimmy: five more hours of work? >> guillermo: work is the worst. >> jimmy: i want it to be time to go home. 5:00, time to go home. >> guillermo: wait for me! >> jimmy: hey, mercedes. >> how can i help you? >> jimmy: show me the way home. >> the route is being calculated. >> hey, mercedes. tell me a funny joke. >> sorry, my engineers are german. >> jimmy: that's a good one. >> guillermo: whoo, cute top, girlfriend! >> jimmy: well, thank you. >> dicky: say hello to the all-new mercedes-benz a-class with game-changing voice

control. finally a car that listens to you. here now, debuting prior to the big game this sunday, is the brand-new mercedes-benz a-class commercial. hmm. tear up ticket. ♪ find the cat. [ meowing ] mittens! make it rain. [ cheering ] [ singing opera ] change the music. ♪ when i move, you move. just like that. ♪ ♪ when i move, you move... ♪ [ ding ] lassie, get help. [ barking ] beep! beep! use the rocket. [ sputtering ] and free willy. [ whale song ] if only everything in life listened to you like your new a-class. hey mercedes. [mercedes-benz voice assistant] how can i help you? change color. make it cooler. play my music. the a-class, starting at $32,500.

oh, and cue logo. ♪

♪ >> jimmy: hi. we have music from emily king to come. our next guests follow the proud tradition of cheech and ernie and bert and chong. they are a comedy duo with a new show. "desus and mero" premieres february 21st on showtime. please welcome desus and mero. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: here we have mero and desus. how did you decide whose name went first? >> i love you too, baby. we decided it's easier to say desus then mero, alphabetical order. also i'm more beautiful than him. >> that is true.

i am married. you know what i'm saying? cautionary tale, you know what i'm saying? have to keep my money to start making money. >> jimmy: you want to make sure this relationship is good. >> right. >> jimmy: so as to not destroy your other relationship. >> exactly. >> jimmy: you had a show on viceland called "desus and mero." moved to showtime, were able to take the show title with you. how did that happen? >> we were desus and mero. >> we were lazy. in a development meeting, oh, just keep it. >> yeah, do something different with the ampersand, turn it upside down or something. >> jimmy: i think you made the right decision. is the show itself going to be different than the show you did that? >> it's expanded. >> jimmy: in what ways? >> there's sketch elements, you know what i'm saying? it's what the people expect with more. >> jimmy: it's a higher-profile production. >> higher profile, bigger production, better budget, and we're buying necessary things around is office. >> i bought a 30-pound box of

cashews. >> i got christoph waltz sitting in my office. >> jimmy: you bought christoph walts? how, that is a heavy purchase. >> i haven't been in his office lately. >> jimmy: you pay dollars or euros for him? >> euros. >> jimmy: are you having fun? you have probably a bigger staff and all that stuff? >> our staff is huge. our staff has to be like 300 people. >> jimmy: really? >> i'm at the point i think some of them do not work for us. [ laughter ] >> people sneaking in, showing up, getting craft. >> i'll take a couple these. >> so many people on set, i'm sure you get this everyone keeps reintroducing themselves. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> i'm mike. hey, i'm mike again. i'm mike, hey. >> we appreciate it but wore at the point we want to be hollywood jerks so we're not learning anyone's name. >> i wear sunglasses, don't look at me. >> jimmy: when in doubt, go with josh. that's the rule. there's a good chance. not if it's a woman, you don't want to go with josh. you're from the bronx? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: your parents are

immigrants, both sets of parents? >> yeah, mine are from jamaica. >> mine are dominican. >> jimmy: this is the american dream. they move here, their sons become famous television stars. >> this is not the american dream. the american dream for them is us being supers in a three-family house. >> absolutely. >> this does not seem like a real job to my parents. >> my father wants me on a rooftop replacing commercial hvac parts. >> jimmy: really? >> they've always had jobs that make their hands dirty so this doesn't seem like real work to them. >> jimmy: right, sure. >> i get my hands dirty in first class. >> jimmy: you get paid, they must be happy about that? >> absolutely, now they're coming around. my mom, oh, i saw a commercial with you on it. really? on tv? on the internet. oh, okay. you're getting more money now? yeah. can you give me $7,000 to fix the driveway? okay, sgligs you gave her the $7,000? >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you check the receipts? that seems expensive for a

driveway. >> right? i did it, i did it, that's my mom. >> jimmy: do you have family members hitting you up? >> my father is a landlord in florida, which he would hope i quit this one day and do that, not happening. he went to collect rent from a tenant and i was on the tv. when he went to collect the rent. he called me angrily about my secret life. >> jimmy: he didn't know? >> you're on tv? you're hiding things from me? >> jimmy: that's pretty crazy. he doesn't like -- he's not coming to the premiere party? >> that's the funny thing. now that we're on showtime, they've accepted it, they want to come to the premiere party to see celebrities. i'm like, i'm a celebrity. they're like, no, a real celebrity. [ laughter ] >> like peter dinklage or something. >> is the guy from "moonlight" going to be there? >> jimmy: the guy from "moonlight"? >> that's how my parents describe everyone. >> jimmy: okay, okay. >> i want to go to the party with marshmallow ali, i want to see him, who are you? i see you over there. >> jimmy: how many kids you have? >> four. >> jimmy: four kids. how old are your kids? >> 7, 5, 3, 1.

[ cheers and applause ] >> every time he says the ages i think he's reading off lotto numbers. >> powerball. >> jimmy: yeah, except this lotto you lose money. >> it's like raffle tickets, you know what i'm saying? you just keep popping them out, one of them is going to get drafted. >> that is not how it works. >> jimmy: are you a good uncle to these children? >> i love them and they're too far away so i don't see them. >> jimmy: what do you mean they're too far away? >> we live in new york, they live across the bridge in jersey. [ laughter ] >> so far. >> other people's kids are like cool. he tells me the stories, i get the gist. i don't have to hang with them. >> he's just hanging with them through me. >> i'm a older guy, it doesn't look right for me to hang with four kids listening to "baby shark." that's a "law and order" episode. >> are. >> jimmy: will you watch the super bowl together? do you hang out socially? >> i'm boycotting the nfl, as a giants fan. >> jimmy: it's not politically motivated? >> i'm boycotting. i'm going to boycott the nfl,

not because of politics or a giants fan, just because it makes me seem more interesting. i don't even a tv, i'm not going to watch the nfl. >> jimmy: if you don't own a tv it's going to be hard to see the game for sure. congratulations on the new show. they have 300 employees on this show, guys. >> and none of them are my children. [ laughter ] my children are not employed. >> jimmy: i can't say the same. desus and mero premieres february 21st, 11:00 p.m. on showtime. be right back with emily king! >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.

>> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is brought to you by ought-new mercedes-benz a-class. >> jimmy: i want to thank billy crystal and desus and mero, apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next, but first, this is her album called "scenery." here with the song "can't hold me," emily king! ♪ ♪

♪ in the night in the middle of the day i call you over but you always hesitate ♪ ♪ used to tell me you should leave it up to fate now i that i never have to wait ♪ ♪ close my eyes let down my hair i'm thinking bout what i want gonna take me there ♪ ♪ turn the dial on the stereo i'm thinking bout who i want and i won't let go ♪ ♪ you can't hold me down only i can do that ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪ you can't hold me down only i can do that you can't hold me down only i can do that ♪

♪ you can't hold me down hold me down ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪ ♪ in a t-shirt in my satin lingerie a little lower little higher change pace ♪ ♪ used to wait here but you'd always be too late now i can go here and i never have to fake ♪ ♪ close my eyes let down my hair ooh ♪ ♪ i'm thinking bout what i want gonna take me there turn the dial on the stereo ♪ ♪ i'm thinking bout who i want and i won't let go ♪ ♪ you can't hold me down only i can do that ♪ you can't hold me down only i can do that you can't hold me down only i can do that ♪ ♪ you can't hold me down hold me down

ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ thought you were my only love but i found someone with the perfect touch ♪ and ooh-wa you can't hold me ♪ ♪ i don't want to waste your time got a secret and it's mine all mine ♪ ♪ ooh-wa you can't hold me ♪

♪ i used to have to wait around stay home baby i can hold it down ♪ ooh-wa you can't hold me ♪ ♪ now i don't have to look no more i'm the one that i've been waiting for ♪ ♪ ooh-wa you can't hold me ♪ ♪ a-ya-oh-wa-oh-oh a-ya-oh-wa ooh ooh you can't hold me ♪ ♪ a-ya-oh-wa-oh-oh a-ya-oh-wa ooh ooh you can't hold me ♪ ♪ a-ya-oh-wa-oh-oh a-ya-oh-wa ooh ooh you can't hold me ♪ [ cheers and applause ]

this is "nightline." >> tonight, new clues. a potential break in the jesse smollett case. police releasing images of two people they want to talk to. the "empire" actor says he's the victim of a brutal hate crime. what police say new video shows just moments after. plus from a young age, jackie ivanko showed us she's got talent. ♪ tonight she's revealing her private battle while growing up in the spotlight. but first the "nightline 5." >> no matter how much you clean, does your house still smell stuffy? that's because your home is filled with soft surfaces that trap odors and release them back into the room. so try febreze fabric