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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  January 31, 2019 11:35pm-12:37am PST

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>> for all of us, thanks for being here. "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- oscar nominee viggo mortensen, from "one day at a time", rita moreno. guillermo at super bowl opening night. this week in unnecessary censorship and music from summer walker. and now, stay put, jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: thank you! how are you doing? thank you for watching. for coming. everyone that's relatively dry, very nice. i'm glad you're here.
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sometimes you don't know if people will show up. we had a lot of rain here today, and lightning, loud thunder and lightning and flooding. and this is not the sort of thing we handle well in los angeles. i was at whole foods this morning. i saw an angry mob fighting over the last bag of chia seeds. someone got hit over the head with a bottle of cold pressed juice. it was a real mess. we have it pretty good compared to the rest of the country. the smeft being blasted by unacceptably cold weather, schools are canceled, socks are being worn in fours instead of twos. it was 19 degrees below zero this morning. they are getting hit with something i've never heard of before. frost quakes. it is when the water expands and the rocks start to crack like an earthquake. they should rename this phenomenon. to me frost quakes doesn't sound dangerous. it sounds delicious. give may bowl of frost quakes and a big spoon.
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the nice thing is even though weather is bad, people are finding ways to have fun with it. this young lady from iowa went outside with wet hair and came out the new mayor of whoville. look at this. that could catch on. who knows? in buffalo, new york, this is from buffalo. they're preparing to host the winter olympics, as you can see. i wonder if you can hire an uber all day to pull you around. and in michigan, another school day means another musical of there's a principal and a school superintendent from schwartz creek, michigan, who have been getting the word out about school closures through songs. so yesterday they shared a snow themed rendition of the song hallelujah. this morning they really let themselves go. ♪ bundle up ♪ wear hats and boots and coats ♪ ♪ if you should go
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♪ stay at home ♪ stay at home ♪ stay home stay warm >> i'm going to miss that when school is over. [ applause ] i like the idea of having fun with the weather. so for those of hue are in this weather, we came one a new youtube challenge. this is something you can do while you have nothing to do. this is your challenge should you choose to accept it. what i would like you to do is go outside, make some nice big snow balls and put them on a plate next to spaghetti. make spaghetti, call your husband or your wife in for dinner and when they get to dinner, serve it to them. record it and upload it saying, hey, jimmy kimmel, i made spaghetti and snow balls. and then be on the lookout for a message from us and we'll put the best of them on our show next week. the great thing about snow balls, gluten free and
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calorie-free, too. the president tweeted so much this morning his phone began to act as a space heater. he tweeted 11 times before 10:00 a.m. he is making plans to declare national emergency on the border. the idea is to declare an emergency and then take money has been earmarked for real emergencies lying floods and hurricanes and use it for a wall that won't do anything. sometimes i'm amazed he only bankrupted three casinos. he had a lot to say about this wall this morning. including this little gem. he wrote, let's just call them walls from now on and stop playing political games. a wall is a wall. you know what? he's right. a wall is a wall. you can look it up in the dictionary. the definition of a wall. a wall. or a solid vertical structure that donald trump is doing.
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i don't know why. who is playing political games? who is saying a wallow over i remember when someone once told us that it doesn't matter whether it is called a wall or not. a wall. >> a wall. or a slat fence. or whatever you want to call it. barrier, wall, or steel slats. whatever you want to call it. the barrier. the wall. whatever you want. the barrier, the wall. whatever you want. >> you can call it a barrier, you can call it whatever you want. a steel barrier or whatever you want to call it. the wall, the barrier, whatever you want to call it. it is okay with me. they can name it whatever they can name it peaches. i don't care what they name it. >> jimmy: i like that name. peaches. maybe a wall of peaches. people come up for a snack from mexico and they go home. this is funny.
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trump has been saying that muslim prayer rugs have been found at the border, that women are getting tied up with duct tape? the white house looked into this and found no evidence to back this up. it is a bad sign when even the white house is saying we have no idea what he's talking about. even nuttier, someone figured this out. the prayer mats and the duct tape, these were all plot points from the movie. it is a good thing the president hasn't seen "star wars." he would probably be asking for money to build the death star. trump has been very critical of his own intelligence this week. emneighbor intelligence people should go back to school after they contradicted many of it is foreign policy beliefs during their testimony in congress. today, at the white house, the president said it was all a bigly misunderstanding and everything is fine. >> mr. president, did you talk to your intelligence people today about -- >> i did. and they said they were totally
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misquoted and they were totally, it was taken out of context. what do i is i would suggest that you call them. they said it was fake news. >> we just read exactly what they said to congress. >> it didn't surprise me at all of we're here to talk right now about china. >> this was a hearing that was televised live from the senate. unedited. there was no way to even make it into fake news. we are missing the point. we're here to talk about china. i wonder if trump saw this. chris christie was on cnn last night to promote his new book and to explain how he tried to do this. >> putting people in that weren't vetted, getting thrown out in unprecedented fashion. doing things we've never seen at this kind of number. >> listen, the day after the election, i probably threw my body in front of the president-elect, begging him not
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to appoint michael flynn national security adviser. >> and that didn't work? if that didn't work, the wall isn't going to work either, i've got news for you. chris christie. in the book, that donald trump is the one who told him to get lap band surgery. i would have loved to have heard that conversation. i'm sure the president handled that gently. chris, you're fat. go get surgery. i'm sure you know, the super bowl is on sunday. this is super bowl liii and it is from atlanta, georgia. our home town los angeles rams, yes, are playing the patriots. it is actually a rematch of the world series. the dodgers and red sox. the patriots are favored by two and a half points. it is the biggest betting day of the year in the united states. whenever there's a major
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sporting events, you see animals making these predictions. we happened upon a pair of pugs. they have picked 11 out of the last 11 super bowl winners correctly. they did it on our show last year. they took eagles. and their owners, leon and pat richards of eugene, oregon, are nice enough to let us hear from them again. please welcome the prog no, sir at this indicating pucks. ella and petunia. is that ella? or petunia? hey, guys, we're hoping to get a super bowl pick from you. we would like to get a pick for the game. bark once for the patriots and maybe twice for the rams. guys? all right. well, you know, i guess they're busy. we'll check back in with them later on.
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this is another super bowl tradition. every year at the super bowl, they have what is known as media day. they get a chance to talk with all the players all at once and once again, our own mvp was guillermo. here he is. guillermo tackling the tough questions at super bowl media day 2019. >> hi, it's me, guillermo. i'm here at super bowl liii, i guess. i'm going to go talk to players. follow me. i am about to interview the -- you know, i'm a little bit hungry. i'm making skoens over here. >> i appreciate it. i'm going to pass. i'm on a little bit of a diet. >> and i make a present for you.
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and i want you to sign it for me. >> okay. >> i love it. >> can you sign it for me? >> sure. >> are you upset that you have to work on the weekend? >> that's the only time we do work, to be honest. >> do you get paid overtime for that? >> i don't. we should. >> i'll make you a present. look. i know you don't like sleeves so this is for you. i know it is cold. that's me on the back. >> the sleeves are cut off. you've got it. i'm going to wear that someday, too. i promise. >> you promise? >> yeah. i'll send you a picture of it on snap face so you can put it out there. >> and coach, why are you so better looking than the other coach? >> i didn't say that. he did.
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>> is your mom picking you up after the super bowl? >> i think she is. and then my dad might have to go buy a pack of beer for me because i'm not old enough to do that. >> good luck. thank you. if you win the super bowl, what fast food do you think donald trump will serve to you guys? >> i don't know. what do you think he'll serve us? >> kfc, i think. he loves kfc. hey, tom, tom! tom, i'm making this pillow. >> hold on, hold on. >> what's up? >> i am making this pillow. i want you to sign it for me. >> i'll sign it. are those hearts for me? >> for all of us.
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>> guillermo. >> every night i'll put my head on that pillow. >> that makes me feel so warm inside. thank you. >> i love you. >> why are you hiding up here? >> i have a huge pimple on my chin. >> can i touch your beard for good luck on sunday? it's a mexican tradition. >> touch my beard? >> yeah. you touch my mustache and i touch your beard. >> it's 2019. no touching here. no touching here, buddy. >> if you touch my mustache for good luck, you're going to win the super bowl. thank you very much. have you seen the bachelor? >> yeah, i think, before. >> he's a virgin. are you one of those, he used to play football. are you one of those players that are virgin? >> i can't speak on that. >> all right. >> he's a bachelor. he used to play for nfl and he's a virgin. are you a virgin?
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>> yeah. because my mama is watching. i have two kids though so i can't say that. >> hey, you have a book. i read your book. >> yeah. >> and there is a funny quote here. and i want to read it to you. up, i didn't go to college just to party with hot chicks. is that true? do you want to read the next line? >> sure, sure. >> as i said, i went to arizona so could i play football right away as a freshman and go to the nfl, baby. >> that's right. >> and get on the jimmy kimmel show and make guillermo my best friend. >> could you sign the book? to guillermo. g-u-i-l-l-e-r-m-o. >> you know how to spell. >> i didn't go to school just to get hot chicks. >> all right, thank you.
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>> what do you think? >> probably ramsey. i see on it apple tv as the first movie to choose from. >> do you want some of my clam chowder? it's my clam chowder helmet. >> let me see you eat it. [ slumping ] >> why did the wide receiver tell football? i'll catch you later. >> i love it. >> hey, i tried your diet but it didn't work. >> how is that cotton candy? is that in the book? >> today my cheat day. >> not my cheat day. >> hey, tom, me and you, we come every year and we build this
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friendship. i think i deserve a hug. >> you're a great man. hell, yeah, i'll give you a hug. good luck to you. >> tom gave me a hug. we build this relationship every year so he gave me a hug. it felt so nice, so sweet. he made my day. it was better than sex, guys. believe me. it was better than sex. omg, amazing. >> jimmy: thank you. very well done. beautiful. thanks, man. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we've got a great show. music if summer walker, rita moreno is here. we'll be right back with viggo mortensen. the only thing i remember is losing control, and i hit the pier face first. (911 operator, muffled) 911, what's your emergency?
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>> jimmy: tonight, from "one day at a time" on netflix, the great rita moreno is here. then, she is our first apple music up next artist of 2019. her album is called "last day of summer." summer walker from the mercedes-benz stage. next week, we're at it again with david spade, will arnett, daniel radcliffe, jennifer connelly, music from why don't we, randy houser, lauv and troye sivan and more. so many more things that we haven't scheduled yet. on february 24th, our first guest could make history becoming the first "viggo" ever to win an oscar for best actor or for anything! he is nominated for the movie "green book." >> i think if you stuck to the
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classic stuff, it would have been a big mistake. >> a mistake? i trained my entire life to play. >> trained? what are you, a seal? people love what you do. anyone can sound like beethoven or the other guys. but your music, what you do, only you can do that. "green book" is in theaters now. please say hello to viggo mortensen. >> jimmy: how are you? good to see you. congratulations. the last time you were here, you were nominated for an oscar, too. >> i was. and you're right. i didn't win. i'm very good at that. at -- no. it's great. it is an honor to be nominated.
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>> jimmy: this is what? your third time to be nominated? >> third time. >> jimmy: do you write a whole new speech or use the one you had from last time? >> i wrote one the first time and i wrote one the second time. i think this time i'll just relax. >> jimmy: maybe that's what cursed you. >> i've been on this show a couple of times. and i really enjoyed it. and you've always been very kind to me. this time i was very nervous. i don't know why. >> jimmy: really! >> i think i peed seven time in the last three minutes in the bathroom. >> jimmy: well, sure, yeah. that's where i do it, too. >> but i was like, i had to go right then, too. i was going, oh, no. the truth is psychological, i was going in the bathroom and i'm standing will going, come on. and no, nothing. zero. >> jimmy: it was a delayed tactic being played on you by your penis.
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>> but i made it. we came to an agreement. >> jimmy: i'm glad you were able to work that out. you did such a great job on this movie. i know it is important. the academy is important, your fellow actors and all that stuff. do you know who really knows you did a great job is my parents who were so crazy for this movie because they used to go to the copa cabana. tony lipp, he's a really guy. they knew him. and my uncle frank was best friends with the mater de. it was exactly like. that you were not there but they know. >> i take other people's word for it. i'm so happy. i have to say, since probably lord of the rings, i haven't seen so much intensity passionate reaction to a movie. i can't tell you how many people
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have come up to me and said, i've seen it three times. i'm going to take so and so, my friend's mother to see it. >> jimmy: are these people new yorkers? >> no. people in general. to people in watertown, new york, way up north, and sandpoint, idaho. i know my movies don't usually make it there but my movie is doing so well that it is in sandpoint, idaho. >> jimmy: that's where you go, to sandpoint. >> yeah. i have family there. >> jimmy: tony lipp has this very thick bronx accent. new york accents, people think they know how to do them. most of those people aren't from new york. if you don't do it right, 8 million people know you didn't do it right. >> or more. i was very nervous. pete, who did such a great job directing this movie, when he
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sent this script, could i see right away, this is a big change of pace for him. something about mary. >> jimmy: comedies, yeah. >> and i read the script and i called him back. he was offering me the part of tony and i said, pete, i don't know you very well but you seem like quite a risk taker. this is a big change for you. it is a drama. and look at me. i'm not from the bronx. it seemed like a weird idea so i was very nervous. until i met the family. >> jimmy: they made you feel better. >> well, they made me feel full is what they did. i met them at a restaurant in new jersey. and i met nick, who brought the story to pete fairley. their brother rudy and some others. >> jimmy: they were all there? >> yeah. and they're like here you go.
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this huge platter. it was seafood and squid and stuff. it was great. and i thought, okay. i made it through that. i didn't offend anybody. and then they bring another one and another one. try the meatballs. i got so i couldn't eat anymore. i didn't have room. and the thing is, i guess you know, you come from an italian american family. >> jimmy: yes, yes. >> i think the presentation of food, the acceptance of food, it is a big deal, right? >> jimmy: oh, yeah. >> every time i would finish a platter, they would bring another one. he loves it! and i finally couldn't finish one and they said you don't like it? he doesn't like it. you overcooked it. don't fight, don't fight. i'll eat it. i love it. >> jimmy: and that wound up in the movie. whose idea was that?
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>> come on. any story where you don't know, you should tell. >> okay. we're sitting there eating and i'm on my fourth one. and then they say uncle rudy. i always asked them questions about the real tony. they said eating and smoking. sometimes at the same time, usually. okay. and then they go, well, uncle rudy will be playing your dad. not an actor. just uncle rudy. and my brother will be -- so a whole bunch of people from the family. it was news to me. when i left there, first we did a picture outside. i was so full could i barely walk to the car. i have to hurry. i drove around the corner is that popped a button. when i got back to town in new york, i call peter fairley, you are a gambler. first you're putting me in this
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role and then the whole family in there. he goes what family? i go uncle rudy is my dad. franky is going to be my brother. and so and so -- he said who said? i said, so this is the family. no offense. >> jimmy: it got in the movie. >> do you know what? it totally works. they're so real, you've never seen them in any movie. >> jimmy: by the way, i got you a good luck charm. it is a hobbit foot. you can carry it with you. viggo mortensen! "green book" is in theatres now and watch the oscars, sunday, february 24th here on abc. we'll be back with this week in unnecessary censorship. ♪ thinking that nobody finna bite back ♪ i feel it, an extreme emotion whether it's happiness or sadness
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>> that's why people elected him. as he [ bleep ]. >> a very big [ bleep ] or it will be [ bleep ]. >> the only way to make it happen is if both sides are willing to [ bleep ], the president actually willing to [ bleep ]. he's never given an indication. >> i don't like to do in it front of others. >> it is very hard to get opportunity to [ bleep ] myself. >> that's why i'm trying on raise money. >> i need you to tell me whose ass you are going to [ bleep ] at wrestle mania? >> last tuesday night in manhattan, this red river team scored 45 points. >> what does the coffee entrepreneur know about being commander in chief? >> i have a long [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: we'll be back with rita moreno.
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or walking. we are flying. microsoft ai helps an architect bring history back to life. this is now. ai helps farmers grow more food with less resources. an engineer explores how ai can help the deaf see sound. innovation creates tomorrow, and tomorrow is here today. "green book" is now nominated for five academy awards. ok, here's the deal. including... [ cheering ] it's also the winner of... you're unbelievable. oh, that was a good time. "what a nice place" ♪ going to extremes for perfect skin? where does it end?
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>> jimmy: our next guest is one of only 15 people in the world to achieve egot status. she's an emmy, grammy, oscar and tony winner. her very funny show, "one day at a time" returns to netflix for a third season next week. please welcome, rita moreno. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that was a fantastic entrance. how are you? >> what a band! what a show! >> jimmy: thank you very much.
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>> viggo mortensen, oh, be still my heart. >> jimmy: he's great, isn't he? how are you? >> i am so good it's disgusting. >> jimmy: i wonder if you have any idea what a major figure you are in my life and my childhood. >> in your life? >> jimmy: yes. "westside story" was one of only six albums we had in my house and we played it over and over again. and the electric company, that was it for me as a kid in new york. >> wasn't that a great show. >> jimmy: yes. >> and it is really unbelievable. would you do your phrase from electric company? >> the one that all the teachers and the principals and schools knew all throughout the states hated? because the kids just loved it. hey you guys! [ cheers and applause ] they hated it. the kids loved it.
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>> jimmy: why did you do it? >> because it was noisy and disruptive. that show was so amazing. and do you know what? it did what it set out to do. it taught children how to read and it taught my husband's mother, she said i can read the peas on the can in the market. >> jimmy: she learned english from the electric company. >> she learned to read english. >> jimmy: fantastic! morgan freeman was the easy reader on the show. >> he and i were really, we were so close. we're 50-year-old friends already. >> jimmy: when did you start performing in front of people? and i'm not talking with a school play. how old were you when you started? >> not a school play. i always did the mexican hat dance every week and the kids said, oh, god. she has that hat on again. i guess i was about 15. i've been, i'm 87 now.
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>> jimmy: unbelievable! unbelievable! i'm sure people drive you crazy telling you how great you look all the time. >> i know. it is such a burden. >> jimmy: and this is "life" magazine from 1954. there you are on the cover. rita moreno. an actor's catalogue of sex and innocence. very racy for 1954. and wow, you are unbelievably beautiful. do you remember taking this photograph? >> of course i do. and i remember the man who produced the whole piece. there's about four pages inside. he said to me, we want you for the cover. after they took the pictures. he said but i warn you, if eisenhower catches cold, you're off the cover. because eisenhower was the president. >> jimmy: luckily he was healthy that week and we've got a series of photographs.
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rita runs her gamut. there you are. running your gamut. those are great shots. how did that happen? at this time, were you a known star? >> no, not at all. but darrell who ran fox studios saw the life cover. it was one of those things where you're killing yourself as a performer trying to get work. you can't and you struggle and struggle. he sees the cover and he says who is that girl? get me that girl. >> jimmy: and they got him that girl. crazy. >> show business. >> jimmy: another great, brilliant legend is norman learh on the show. >> we're the old farts on the show. >> jimmy: did he specifically ask you? >> he did. i didn't know him personally. and he said i'm doing coming
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back to television. and he said will you do this show and i said absolutely. about ten minutes later i said what is about it? it was with him. >> jimmy: had you not seen the original "one day at a time"? >> no. still haven't. >> jimmy: your show is very different from that show. it is quite different. >> jimmy: that show was funny too. >> do you know gloria sings that song one day at a time and they've h latinized it. ♪ >> jimmy: a big part of the show. >> the cuban family. >> jimmy: yes. >> and i love the character i play. she is really diva, so dramatic. so theatrical. >> jimmy: it must be, at your age to play a vital that's still vital. you know what i'm saying. you get stucco over. >> funny you should bring that
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up. when .to norman on the phone a conference call, i said there's one condition. if it is not met maybe we don't work together. what? a little nervous. and i said i know she's an older woman, a grandma, but she has to be sexual. and they loved it. >> jimmy: who wouldn't love that? >> i mean, what is this? chopped liver? right? >> jimmy: right. not chopped liver. you met everybody over the years. have you ever met donald trump, the president of the united states? >> you know, i did. >> jimmy: where did you meet him? >> it was memorable, too. it has to be memorable with that man. we were invited to a cocktail party that was honoring governor cuomo at the time. and my husband and i, we went up
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to his pent house apartment. what a shocking experience. everything was gold. everything was gold. like new rich people. >> jimmy: classy? >> exactly. but the thing that really amazed me was the frees on the ceiling like michelangelo. but it was him. >> jimmy: was it his finger touching god's? >> well, here's my finger. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] you know, he will us the price of everything. >> jimmy: what? >> it we were probably the only celebrities in that particular cocktail party except for cuomo so he took us around. he mentioned the price of
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everything. and i've never -- i never forgot. and i thought, that's so low brow. >> jimmy: that's a real art lover. >> he took us into his dining >> jimmy: that's an art lover. >> it was astonishing. he hasn't changed. >> jimmy: no, he hasn't. no, he hasn't. thank you so much for being here. rita moreno! season three of "one day at a time" premieres february 8th on netflix. we'll return with music from summer walker. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. e best or nothing.
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>> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by mercedes benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: i want to thank viggo mortensen and rita moreno, apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next but first, this is her album "last day of summer." here with the songs "session 32" and "girls need love" summer walker! ♪
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♪ threw away your love letters i thought it'd made me feel better ♪ ♪ i finally got you out my bed but i still can't get you out my head ♪ ♪ ooh i'm sending you one text at a time i know you're ♪ ♪ by your phone so boy pick up your line and i ain't ♪ ♪ too proud to beg so what's been said has been said mmm ♪ ♪ and i need you to know you don't know what love is ♪ ♪ and i need you to know mmmm you don't know ♪ ♪ cuz don't know what love is
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if you don't put up a fight ♪ ♪ you don't know what love is if you don't stay up all night crying ♪ ♪ you don't know what love is if you're too good to call a billion times ♪ ♪ and you say you know what love is but i swear you never seen it in your life ♪ ♪ ♪ honestly i'm tryna stay focused you must think i've got to be joking ♪ ♪ when i say i don't think i can wait i just need it now better swing my way ♪ ♪ i just need some -- i just need some love
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tired of -- with these lame -- ♪ ♪ baby i just need a thug won't you be my plug aye you could be the one aye start with a ♪ ♪ handshake baby imma need more than a hug girls can't never say they want it ♪ ♪ girls can't never say how girls can't never say they need it girls can't never say now ♪ ♪ girls can't never say they want it girls can't never say how girls can't never ♪ ♪ say they need it girls can't never say now oh now give it to me ♪ ♪ like you need it baby want you to hear me screaming heavy breathing ♪ ♪ i don't need a reason baby i wanna take and find i can give it to you right babe ♪ ♪ oh i wanna be your healing i can be real good please don't get in your feelings ♪ ♪ aye i need some love
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aye i need some love aye i need some love aye and you can't judge ♪ ♪ cause girls need love too girls need love too girls need love too yeah ♪ ♪ so what's a girl to do when she needs loving too girls need love too yeah ♪ ♪ girls need love too hey ay ay girls need love too so what's a girl to do ♪ ♪ when she needs loving too
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[ cheers and applause ] nd applause ] this is "nightline." >> tonight, stalked, stabbed, striking back. >> someone has been stabbed. >> the woman fighting back in a shocking and deadly encounter with her own stepfather. here heroic escape. >> this guy tried to kill me. >> what she learned from the walking dead that she said saved her life. >> the real life saga behind the wildly popular dirty john podcast hit show and documentary. plus, showdown of the ages. tom brady taking on super young gun jared goff. the biggest age difference in starting quarterbacks in super bowl history. does brady have words of wisdom for the rookie? >> i'm not giving him any advice.

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