that is it for now, we appreciate your time. >> for all of us, thanks for being >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight, steve harvey, from "isn't it romantic", adam devine, the shocking finale of the matchelor, and music from grammy winner leon bridges. and now, for the time being, jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: welcome. welcome. thank you for coming. thank you for watching. . wow. this is a big night. this is the night after the grammy awards were handed out here in l.a.

the grammys were downtown last night. who watched the grammys on tv last night? alicia keys was the host. she played two pianos at the same time. somewhere out there is a talented little girl who dreams of playing piano on the grammys, but she can't because alicia keys is hogging all the pianos. one per person. the big winners were casey mus graves and album of the year, an album is a round thing your parents used to buy. lady gaga won a grammy for a song that was featured in a film that included a scene of her winning a grammy for that song. it's like lady gaga inception. another weird thing is a nominee

can wind up winning, like, five or six grammys a night, and then they have to hold them all. lady gaga had an arm full. kasey musgraves had a bunch. this is what i get when i forget to bring a reasonable bag to the market. they should have a bag at the grammys. nobody mentioned donald trump at the grammys. i'm sure he had mixed feelings, but he did give himself an award. 50% approval rating. i don't know what's sadder. the fact that half the country doesn't like him or that he retweeted that. on sunday someone inside the trump administration for the second time leaked his private work schedule which, again, looked very light. according to schedule, trump spends the first five hours of

every day on what they call executive time. they call it executive time because chicken fingers and cartoon time doesn't sound great when you say it out loud. this is how the president spent his time november through the end of the year. orange, then meetings. that's a lot of orange. just like his face, really. there's a lot of orange. the white house is doing a thorough investigation to figure out who leaked the schedule. in the meantime, the president lashed out at the press for covering the story. he wrote the media was able to get my work schedule, something easy to do. it should have been reported as po positive, not negative. when the term executive time is used i'm generally working. then he said no president ever worked harder than me cleaning up the mess i inherited.

at this point president trump has spent more time tweeting about how hard he works. i don't know why people are jumping on him about this. i don't. would you rather he spent the first five hours of his day working or not working? i vote for not. i want him in bed eating five guys and watching jennifer lopez movies. here's a question. would you rather be in a car with a drunk driver who has his hands on the wheel or off it? the president had his annual physical on friday. good news he passed his mammogram with flying colors. the doctor says he's in very good health. for a man who has the body chemistry of a loaded potato skin, he is a medical miracle. the all quarter pounder indidie must be working. the white house doctor left his weight off the report. in that spot he wrote trump has a great personality. a lot of people wonder how his

health could be so good. it's simple, really. every day he sticks with a proven program that he trusts. >> we know gaining weight is no fun. you binge eat. your clothes don't fit. you feel sluggish. irritable. >> sit down, please. sit down. >> it's time to take control of your body and your life with hate watchers. stay good-bye to the loser weight loss programs that require diet and exercise. with hate watchers, simply spend seven hours a day focussed on everything you hate and rage yourself into shame. ask your wife if hate watchers is right for you. it may cause the inability to spell basic words on twitter. hate watchers, because you're a ticking time bomb. >> i feel as good today as i did when i was 30. >> he's going to outlive all of us. did you see at the basketball

game? in indianapolis, the pacers were playing the clippers. a bat somehow flew on to the court. a big, brown bat was flying all over. health officials are warning anyone who may have touched the bat could have been exposed to r rabies. the pacers may literally have rabbit fans. this is how it went down. >> oh, it's dive bombing. it's been very successful in alluding everybody on the floor here. >> okay. let's see. >> oh, my. look. >> and he scores. wow. i think we found a new air bud. >> jimmy: tonight and this was a shocker. tonight bachelor colten revealed the true reason for his virginity. it turns out his penis has

clothser phobia. brought a doctor in who confirmed it. never did i imagine i would invest eight weeks to watch a grown man lose his virginity. five women were sent home. one of the women who got the boot was demi whose mother just got out of prison. while she may be gone, her laugh will not soon be forgotten. >> he loved it. duh. he want nervous? >> no. he loved my confidence. it was great. >> i was just worried. [ laughter ] n of this.i [ laughter ] >> the father was a woodpecker. the women are down to seven

tonight. originally i thought he would propose to cassie, but after tonight, i think he may have his eye on heather instead. >> any expectation of the day you absolutely helped blow out of the water. >> you know, you are someone who i can definitely respect. with you i know how serious you are taking these steps. will you accept this rose? >> jimmy: that's a question? tonight marks the season finality of my bachelor spinoff show. i've been working to find a show for danielle m. you may remember her from the bachelor in paradise. i signed her up for tinder and we embarked on a search for her mr. swipe right. this season on the matchelor, danielle m came to hollywood on

a quest for love. but on the bachelor she found nothing but heart break. she tried again on bachelor in paradise and heart break struck again. and so this 33-year-old with a biological clock that's ticking like flava flaif's neck, reached out for a last chance at love. me, i'm the matchelor. we met justin the adventurer. >> i'm like steve irwin. >> he died. >> the dreamer. >> i'm working on five songs. >> and caleb, the outlaw. >> do you pay for your own netflix account? >> of course i mooch off someone else. >> jimmy: and now which of these three white dudes will get a second date? it's all happening right about -- is it happening now?

now. yes. we are here at the season finality of the matchelor. danielle, how are you? >> i'm great. i'm excited. how are you? >> jimmy: we went through how many guys. how many? >> technically? >> jimmy: yeah. >> six dates. >> jimmy: a lot of guys. we swiped people and met people, and now we decide we've narrowed our men down to three. they join us on the wall of america. hello caleb, dustin, and brian. welcome, gentlemen. >> look. >> jimmy: danielle, this is the moment of truth. this is the hard part of this journey. how are you feeling? >> i'm a little nervous. >> jimmy: it's time for you to tell us which of these men you would like to spend the rest of your life with. but before we get to that, a twist. danielle, you can pick one of the men on the wall, or a mystery man who is behind this door. now, this is someone you're

familiar with, but you do not know, and he's ready to date you if you pick him. >> you ready to have some kids? just kid. not right now. >> jimmy: well, we'll find out if he's ready to have kids. you can only pick one. how are you feeling, caleb? >> hi, caleb. >> hi. i'm doing well. i'm 16 hours ahead of you guys in the philippines. hollywood are you in the stairwell of a motel? >> yeah, pretty much. i am. this is where i get the best reception. i had to choose this. >> jimmy: danielle, do we say hello or good-bye to caleb? >> caleb, i think you're really great, but i'm going to -- >> jimmy: good-bye, caleb. that means good-bye. sorry. next, dustin. dustin, famous for getting a rattle snakebite. how are you? >> thank you very much. >> yeah. are you getting better with your other hand? >> yeah, i am. a lot easier now.

thank you. how are you? >> i'm great. thanks. >> jimmy: danielle, what do we do with dustin? >> i think dustin is going to keep recovering. >> jimmy: dustin, i'm so sorry. >> but thank you so much. >> jimmy: luckily you have the other hand. and finally, brian. >> hey, brian. >> hello. >> jimmy: danielle, would you like to make a life with brian? >> i'm really trying to stay away from musicians. they're a bad habit for me. >> jimmy: sorry, brian. your talents have fore saken you. well, that's a tinder for all of you. thank you, gentlemen. i thought you were fine, but this leaves us with our mystery man. would you like to go on a date with our mystery man, or would you rather go home in tears? >> i'm going to choose the mystery man. >> jimmy: the mystery man, i'll tell you a bit about him. he is a graphic designer living in los angeles. you know him from last season's

bachelorette and a little birdie told us maybe you might be interested in him. please welcome wiwiwiwiwiwiwiwi there he is. >> how are you? >> jimmy: i'm over here. how you doing, wills? there we go. well, so would you like to go out on a date with wills? >> um, yeah. i would love to. >> jimmy: we are going to send you right across the street for a romantic evening at the buffalo wild wings next door. >> he smells good. >> jimmy: he does smell good. all right. get over to the restaurant. we'll check back in with you. guillermo, lead the way. it's danielle m and wills. incredible. thanks to everyone who participated tonight on the

show. we have music from leon bridges. adam devine is here. we'll be right back with steve harvey. free free, free. free. uh... free. free. free...uh. freefreefree! free! free. free! freefree! freefreefreefree! free. free! free free. free! free! fr-free! free!!! free! freefreefree. free...freefree. free! free!!! free!!! that's right, turbotax free is free. free, free free free.

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ben affleck, jennifer lopez, jessica rothe, dane cook, plus music from josh groban and bring me the horizon. our first guest tonight is one of the funniest, busiest guys there is. he has a lot of jobs including the one he does every afternoon. you can watch him in syndication every afternoon. please say hello to steve harvey. [ cheers and applause how are you? wow. >> all right. >> steve, i was prepared for your beard, and your beard is now gone. >> i had a beard. my wife came in yesterday and said take it off. and i misunderstood her.

i didn't know she was talking about the beard. so i was just sitting in the chair naked. and nothing happened. so she wanted it off. this is crazy, man. >> jimmy: isn't she the won who encouraged you to grow the build? >> she told me last summer on vacation. i grow the beard out. it's gray. i don't have enough gray in the mustache yet. this is just for men. and she told me you look distinguished. and then yesterday she said you look old. i went from distinguished to old. so she told me to -- >> jimmy: and you did it. without hesitation? >> it's time to start shooting "family feud". and "little big shots ". you don't want to scare the kids. >> jimmy: you feel the beard would be upsetting to the children? you just got back from vacation. >> we was down, down somewhere. >> jimmy: do you not want people

to know? is it a place you go regularly? >> yeah. i don't like being on tmz. i stay off of it. i just don't go nowhere. i just go out, man. we were down there, we went to this place, and there are sharks. >> jimmy: really? okay? >> the shines is posted everywhere. beware of the sharks. there's no one in the water, and so this guy comes up. we're on the dock just looking at the sharks. he says you can swim with those. and i said swim with what. he said you can swim with the sharks. i said you see the damn signs? he said no, those are bull sharks. those are nursery sharks. how the hell i know the difference in all of them bull sharks to me. and in all of shark history, you've never seen a black person be attacked by a shark. ever. >> jimmy: is that true? >> ever.

you can watch shark week all yearlong. we are not involved in shark attacks. >> jimmy: wow. >> i'm very proud of that. >> jimmy: yeah. showing better judgment? >> it's black history month. you need to know stuff like this. >> jimmy: was this like a big family vacation? were all the harveys here? >> no. just the wife. we don't even tell the kids when we're going places. they got jobs now. they show up. >> jimmy: is that true? will they show up on your vacation? >> yeah. they just appear. oh, we here. because my wife loves the grand kids. we have grand kids now. and here's the babies. i be going, the babies? i don't even want to see y'all ass. they brought the babies. my wife loves being a grandmother. >> jimmy: yeah. and you say that your wife loves

being a grandma. i take that to mean you don't necessarily love being a grandfather? >> not at all. >> jimmy: what is it about it? >> i don't know what everybody was talking about. when you become a grandparent, you going to love it. what? i didn't spend all my life trying to become an empty nester. i wanted my kids to go away, get out. now they come back with more people. they keep coming. >> jimmy: but you must spend time with them. i would imagine -- because your wife wants to, that's what you do. >> yeah. you have to. >> jimmy: do you have sleepovers with the kids? >> that's the part that i don't. we have too many sleepovers. the kids are slick. they all live out here. except one of my daughters in atlanta with her little boy. the rest of them is out here. so it's one, two, three, it's four of them out here, and they come over like at 6:00 so they can go on a date, the parents.

by the time we get them to sleep around 9:00, they real slick. they wait until about 11:30 and then they call. want us to come and wake the kids up and take them home? you know good well we don't want to wake they ass up. who wants to wake upppp get them out of bed? we just got them to sleep. and then they have to have breakfast. i feed them breakfast. >> jimmy: what does grandpa steve make for breakfast? >> my kids are vegan. >> jimmy: really? >> no. don't clap for that. >> jimmy: do they give you rules? do your kids give you rules about don't feed them meat? >> yeah. i didn't raise them to be this. you know?

like they come over to the house, and i'm a bbq man. i'm in there, and i'm bbq'ing and then they come in and go what is that i smell? you know good and hell well what it is. it's meat. i don't like the smell of meat. you didn't say that when you was going to college for free. and you know who paid for that? your meat-eating ass daddy. that's who paid for that. now you don't like it. >> jimmy: steve, do you look at these guys who are many comedians are coming back and doing standup again. is that something you think -- not that you don't have enough jobs but something you want to do again? >> man, i did nfl honors right before the super bowl. and i did -- i was supposed to do an eight minute set. it ended up being 12. i felt really good. i got bit a little bit.

>> jimmy: you did? >> i kind of felt like maybe i should come back and do one more. one more. >> jimmy: at least one more. >> it was pretty good. >> we'll be right back with steve harvey after this. ates aw. son: i can do whatever i want. mom: i can drive up here anytime i want. mom: he's going to be so homesick. son: this is gonna be so sick. no matter if your journey takes six years... or 72,000 miles... your volkswagen is covered with america's best bumper-to-bumper limited warranty.

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>> jimmy: we are back with steve harvey. you give out a lot of love advice, relationship advice on your television show. would you consider yourself to be an expert in that field? >> well, i'm not -- you know, i'm not an expert on love. i'm an expert on how men think about love. >> jimmy: that makes sense. >> that's what i'm able to give women. the male perspective. i know very little about women. any man that knows about women and can write that book would be a billionaire come tuesday. yeah. that's just not -- but yeah, man. you know, like valentine's day and stuff like that. >> jimmy: it's coming up this week. how do you celebrate? >> one day, february 14th. don't get sucked into that. i'm doing it the whole week. no, it's one day. it's february 14th.

we doing it today. get it all in. here's the secret to valentine's day. >> jimmy: i'm open. i want to hear it. >> whatever you do, flowers, candy, showing up, it has to be done with a public display of affection. if you send her flowers to the job, it's got to be in front of a bunch of women. if you send candy in front of a bunch of women, if you go down to the job, speak to all the women first. let them know you there. then go pick your girl up. you get more points when you do it in front of people. it carries over. >> jimmy: 100% right. >> that's all you need to know. >> jimmy: and that's you understanding the women's perspective. most guys don't understand that. the first time i was married, i said to my ex-wife, listen, keyword being ex. >> i noticed how you put that in there, and i'm paying attention, because i have two of those.

mo >> jimmy: we didn't have any money. i said i'm going to grow some roses in the yard, and then [ laughter ] >> jimmy: that's exactly -- >> you said that? >> jimmy: i said yeah, i'll clip them and put them in the thing. she's like absolutely not. >> when did you think the roses was going to become roses? was you going to time that around valentine's day? >> jimmy: i didn't really know how seeds worked at the time. >> valentine's day is really in the winter. >> jimmy: you're right. but in fairness, i was living in arizona, so it is within the realm of possibility. >> that's why you divorced. right there. >> jimmy: that's in a nutshell why. >> i did stupid stuff like that myself. >> jimmy: what have you done that you learned never to do again? >> argue.

>> jimmy: you don't argue at all? >> no. me and my wife, we don't have arguments. >> jimmy: never? >> no, man. well -- look, we have arguments, but they're not, like back andnd forth. there's none of that. it's i won't to do that, and it's you gonna do that, and i'm like okay, cool then. and that's the argument. >> jimmy: that's how it goes. >> that's it. >> jimmy: how long have you been married now? >> this thereby 13 years. >> jimmy: a good, long time. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's good. >> i've been married a total, though, of 35 years.years. i want credit. when i get up to the pearly gates i want the lord to give me credit for trying. >> jimmy: here's something i think you'll get credit for. speaking of your show, you were talking to your audience during the warmup. and there were a couple going to

texas on vacation, and you let them stay at your house while they were there. >> yeah. that kind of -- that -- it just jumped out. you know how you say something. as soon as you say it, you want it back? but it was a nice couple. they had a really big family. and they couldn't figure out whose house to go to for the holidays because they were married. and they had big families. neither one of them had a house big enough to accommodate bot bt families. i got a ranch where there we hardly ever go too. i said i have a ranch -- they said wow, we know exactly where that is. and so i let them use my house. >> jimmy: for real? >> yeah. they was in my house. they filmed it. it was going real nice until i saw these two little white kids in my bathtub. you know, i'm 62. i'm from a time when two little white kids in your bathtub was

prison. and i got a little nervous about that. i just -- i was nervous watching it. they was having a blast. and i was in there sweating pretty hard. y'all can't relate to that. you don't know where i'm coming from. trust me. it was a butt clenching moment for me. >> jimmy: well, it's always a great pleasure to have you here. >> jimmy: steve harvey! "steve" airs weekdays in syndication. adam devine is here. we'll be right back.

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>> jimmy: you know our next guest from seven seasons of "workaholics," four seasons of "modern family" and two "pitch perfects." next you can see him in one very romantic comedy "isn't it romantic" opens in theaters wednesday. please welcome adam devine. [ cheers and applause ] >> what's up? how's it going? >> jimmy: how's everything. >> they're hyped tonight. >> jimmy: you look very nice. >> thank you. someone dressed me.

i did not put this together. >> jimmy: what is your relationship with your grandchildren like, adam? >> they're very young. yeah. they're still swimmers. >> jimmy: where are you from originally? >> i'm from omaha, nebraska. i was born in waterloo, iowa. shut up. liar. and then i grew up in omaha. >> jimmy: if you meet somebody from waterloo, you must know them. right? >> there's a connection. >> jimmy: yeah. >> we just lock eyes from across the bar. did you have a mullet when you were young? you did. i sense it. >> jimmy: how often do you get back to omaha? >> in november i was just there. i shot my first standup special. i'm excited about it. they were so cool. they gave me a day. they gave me adam devine day. >> jimmy: i have a photograph from that. who gave you the day?

the mayor? >> no. the mayor was busy. i swear. she sent someone else. a very nice woman. don't know what she does. they're like yeah, we're giving you this day. >> jimmy: your mom and dad were there. >> i'm glad i have some moments like this where you can be proud because i've done some really stupid stuff in my career. like my last movie "game over" i'm pantsless, and my penis is hanging out. >> jimmy: is that what you call it? >> i call it penis. my mom was sitting behind me during the premier, and while it's happening and i'm just like on screen, my mom creeps up right behind me and goes, i'm so proud of you. i'm glad she has something where she can actually be proud. >> jimmy: is that where you started your acting career? >> in omaha? yeah. i worked at a grocery store that's. that's when i got the bug acting

like i liked it. >> jimmy: what was it? >> baker's supermarket. no one? and they shot the movie "about schmidt" at the grocery store. they were looking for extras. i'm like i'm in. this is my shot. and they had me stock the shelves in -- as he's buying milk or something. i'm stocking the shelves. i knew this is my big break. i kept angling back to try too get in frame. a good actor finds the lens. >> jimmy: bet they loved that. >> and alexander payne is like what the [ bleep ]? and so he's like whispers to the first assistant director who comes up and says -- he makes announcement. for all the extras -- it's really just me. this isn't jack nicholson. you're not in a movie.

you're just stocking shelves. it's only me. second take, i do the same thing. they're like great, we're giving you a different job. i'm like they're replacing nicholson. they just had me do work off camera. >> jimmy: but the shelves did get stocked. did you ever meet alexander payne and tell him that story? >> i'm waiting. >> jimmy: punch him right in the mouth. >> he has a list of actors he doesn't want to work with. i'm at the top. >> jimmy: did you have regular jobs before that? >> i had a bunch of jobs. i worked as a baseball umpire. i was pretty bad. >> jimmy: how old were you? >> 13 or maybe 14. >> jimmy: that's young. >> yeah. and also don't know the rules of baseball. not a bad gig to have. >> jimmy: that's not great. >> you don't know the rules. and so i'm an umpire, and a lot of authority, this little guy. and i didn't realize that if the

batter tips the ball and the catcher catches it, that's an out. >> jimmy: on the third strike, yeah. >> i didn't know that was the rule, and so i'm like, foul ball. and this dad -- by the way, these kids are seven years old. they're six and sveven. this dad loses it. he takes this cooler he has and dumps out all the trash which is like a bringls can and goes this is you, blue. you're trash. you are trash, blue. and me using all my authority, i'm like you're out of here. >> jimmy: did he leave? >> yeah. but i could only kick him out to the parking lot and that was only 13 feet away. it didn't make any difference. >> jimmy: by the way, your new movie. i enjoyed it. it's called "isn't it romantomoc

mantic". it is a romantic comedy. >> it's an anti-romantic comedy, romantic comedy. it's rebel wilson. she's awesome. she produced it. she had a big hand in it. and she -- her character hates romantic comedies. thinks they're stupid, and then she thinks this guy is hitting on her in a subway. he's actually trying to mug her. she bumps her head. when she wakes up, her life is now a romantic comedy. i play her best friend in the movie. >> jimmy: when it was described to me before i saw it, i was like oh, no, any movie with banks her head, it's headed in the right direction. it worked out quite well. look at you now being a lead in a romantic comedy. >> i'm waiting for them to figure it out. >> jimmy: you went from a penis flapping around in front of your

mother right to this. nothing inbetween. >> hollywood saw it and they were like we need more. >> jimmy: i open alexander payne hears about this. adam devine, everybody. "isn't it romantic" opens in theaters wednesday. and we'll return with music from leon bridges.

okay, so you've been to the it's great right? earth. but i bet you haven't done this. or that. or been here. i bet you haven't met her, or him, or them. ooo, dance-off! this is... incredible. you, see what i did right there. and when is the last time you felt like this, or that or (sighs deeply) i mean, come on- that's basically a perfect moment. it's time to make some magic for as low as $70 per person, per day.

>> jimmy: i want to thank steve harvey and adam devine, apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next but first, this is his album "good thing" here with the song "shy." leon bridges! ♪ ♪ staring at the ceiling

♪ ♪ staring at the ceiling hearts and records spinning round mmmm i've been loving ♪ ♪ with no meaning running from a feeling that you know that i want you mmmm ♪ ♪ don't get me started at this time of night hard to keep my guard up and the feeling's right ♪ ♪ i don't need nobody but for you i might

and all that want is you i just wanna see you ♪ ♪ you could come over i know you're shy you can be shy with me you know i need you ♪ ♪ and i'm not quite sober i know you're shy baby you can be shy it's alright i just wanna see you ♪ ♪ you could come over i know you're shy you can be shy with me you know i need you ♪ ♪ and i'm not quite sober i know you're shy baby you can be shy you can be shy with me ♪ ♪ met you back in august thought you were standoffish coy mmmm but you don't have to try ♪

♪ i'll read between your lines ohh 'cause darling i want you ohh ohh ohh why ♪ ♪ you ain't gonna hide who you are tonight no take your time we can move slow ♪ ♪ with your hips on mine hey you're so shy won't you come 'round here and waste my time ♪ ♪ 'cause all that i want is you i just wanna see you you could come over ♪ ♪ i know you're shy you can be shy with me you know i need you and i'm not quite sober ♪ ♪ i know you're shy baby you can be shy shy it's alright i just wanna see you ♪ ♪ you could come over i know you're shy

you can be shy with me 'cause baby i need you ♪ ♪ and i'm kinda shy too maybe tonight baby you can be shy ♪ ♪ you can be shy with me ♪

this is nightline. tonight, from pulpit to politics. >> thank you. >> a self help guru joining the crowded contenders for president with a soulful spin. >> we need a moral and spiritual awakening. >> elevated by oprah and with a star following, can she be elected? inside mary ann williamson's leap of faith. >> plus a hairy fairy tale landing a huge modelling gig after blowing up on instagram. is social media the new casting call for models? first the nightline 5.