tv Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC February 21, 2019 11:35pm-12:38am PST
11:35 pm
>> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- viola davis, author charles p. pierce, from "tidying up," marie kondo, and music from cypress hill. and now, final warning, jimmy kimmel! [cheers and applause] ♪ >> jimmy: thank you. i'm the host of the show. thank you for turning on your televisions at home. relax. i know a lot of you are visiting
11:36 pm
us. welcome, welcome to l.a., home of the nfc champion los angeles rams. [cheers and applause] did you even know the rams are in los angeles now? well, they are, and they're playing in the super bowl on sunday. and you were in atlanta. >> yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: the coaches, the feeling, did you get any feeling who was going to win this game? >> i love tom brady, but i live in los angeles, so i want the rams to win. >> jimmy: i know who you want to win, who do you think will win. >> the rams. >> jimmy: the rams are going up against the dynasty that is the new england patriots. and to kick things off, none other than president trump has agreed to sit for our pregame interview. the super bowl is his third favorite bowl right behind taco and toilet. we get a rare chance to see the
11:37 pm
president on television. it seems appropriate that he would be a part of super bowl liii because that's what he does best. trump, his long-time friend and adviser, roger stone pleaded not guilty to charges, including obstruction of justice and witness tampering this morning. here he is on the way to the courthouse. unusual for a defendant to drive himself. but roger stone is an unusual fellow. it's almost hard to believe he's real. first of all, he's got a tattoo of richard nixon's face on his back. and secondly, we know that he's got a tattoo of richard nixon's face on his back. he loves attention. the minute he got arrested, he went on a publicity tour. it was as if he had a new "star wars" movie coming out. last night he dropped by the warm confines of sean hannity's show to give you the real news that the fake media won't report.
11:38 pm
>> i honestly believe that they're going to charge the president with collusion. then nancy pelosi can be president. i think that's what they have in mind. >> jimmy: i'll go you one further. i think they wanted to get rid of pelosi, too. they knock off nancy pelosi. when she's gone, they get rid of the next guy in line for the presidency, chuck grassley, then they get rid of mike pompeo. when he's gone, he go after the secretary of the treasury, health and human services. agriculture, commerce. labor. they don't stop. they keep going until they get to the department of housing and urban development, dr. ben carson, who will be so sleepy
11:39 pm
throughout the remainder of his term, the diabolical bandits who started it can dress him in women's clothes for all we know. check info wars, it's all there. here's another one of the president's only the best people, here's john bolton. he spoke about u.s. sanctions on venezuela and he inadvertently showed what's on his notepad, which said 5,000 troops to colombia. someone should tell john bolton, top secret doesn't mean put your secret at the top of the page, because, but at least it's warm in colombia. [ applause ] i don't know how many of you are from the midwest, but more than 83 million americans are expected to experience sub-zero temperatures this week. they say it could be even cold
11:40 pm
ner chicago this week than it is in antarctica. residents of chicago are being forced to slice into deep dish pizzas and climb inside them. it was chilly here today. it got down to 72 degrees today. it was so cold today i had to wear my ankle length lululemons, instead of the three quarter crops i normally wear. the president weighed in on the weather. in the beautiful midwest, wind chill temperatures are reaching minus 60 degrees, in coming days, expected to get colder. people can't exist for more than a few minutes. what is going on with global waming. please come back fast, we need you. just to be clear, global warming is a hoax invented by the chinese. global waming is a hoax invented
11:41 pm
by george michael and andrew ridley in 1983. is he dumb or just pretending to be done? i think we give him the benefit of the doubt and say he's actually dumb. if that's the case, since he doesn't understand climate change, we invited a couple of children who do to break it down for hip him. >> hi, mr. president. today i want to tell you about climate change. don't get angry, mr. president, it's just science. like gravity. you don't get upset by gravity. greenhouse is called by the greenhouse effect. it was started by john tyndall in 1859. >> that's before even you were born. >> in a greenhouse, sunlight shines in and warms up the air. when the energy tries to go out, it gets trapped in the glass, warming the inside even more. woo, that's hot. the earth's atmosphere works just like a giant greenhouse.
11:42 pm
it's huge. the sun gets reflected back by wat water vapor and methane. so more greenhouse gases you add to the atmosphere the more energy gets trapped. makes sense, right? >> and we've been adding a lot of greenhouse gases recently. look, all that extra trapped energy is already causing higher temperatures, melting ice, more extreme weather, rising sea levels, drought and a lot of things that will make earth a pretty tough place for your son barron and me to live. >> just because it isn't warm where you are, doesn't mean it's not happening to the earth. climate is what happens over the long run. >> that's called climate change. you can learn more at climate.nasa.gov. you're welcome!
11:43 pm
[cheers and applause] >> jimmy: the former ceo of starbucks, howard schultz, is thinking of running for president. he would run as an independent. which could be damaging to democrats. if this q&a is any indication, not everyone thinks he's the guy to make america grande again. >> i am seriously considering running for president as a centrist independent. and i wanted to clarify the word independent, which i view merely as a designation on the balance lot. >> you'll help elect trump, you egotistical billionaire [ bleep ]. >> jimmy: it's going to be a fun 22 months. you know the name marie kondo [ applause ] how many of you have been tidying up your closet? she wrote a book and has a netflix show.
11:44 pm
the show is called "tidying up." she makes people get rid of stuff. i've accumulated a lot of stuff. someone thought it would be a good idea to ask marie kondo to help. none of this is set up. here's my real office and how it really looks at the show and marie kondo giving me a little help. >> hello! nice to meet you. >> jimmy: nice to meet you, too, thank you for coming. can i be very honest with you? i had a nightmare about this the other night. i woke up upset because i dreamed you came in my office and started destroying my things. >> translator: what's important about my method is that you will be doing all the hard work, jimmy. actually, i never force anybody to throw anything away. >> jimmy: great. our work here is done. >> translator: with the kumari method, we will be checking everything you own, if it sparks
11:45 pm
joy we keep it. >> jimmy: if it sparks joy, we keep it, if it doesn't, it goes. let's tidy up. >> translator: how about everyone who uses this office, do you take a little time to send a little love? >> jimmy: that's a good idea. >> translator: close your eyes, and simply in your heart express gratitude for all this office does for you. >> jimmy: oh, we're done. we're done, everybody. >> translator: so it's also important to have a vision for your office before you tidy. how would you best like to use this office? >> i'd like it to be a little more organized. i'd like it not to look like a rumpus room. you know how to translate rumpus, huh? this is my dressing closet. >> translator: so spacious.
11:46 pm
>> jimmy: i have a lot of black socks. >> but they spark joy? >> jimmy: no, i have to wear them for the show. so i wear them. >> translator: let's take this opportunity to express your gratitude for them. >> jimmy: express my gratitude to the socks? >> translator: exactly. >> jimmy: thanks, socks, for always being there in the drawer and for protecting my feet and keeping them warm and all the other great things you do. >> translator: perfect. >> jimmy: these are all my books. >> translator: the trick is to take all the books out of the bookcase. >> jimmy: this is the nightmare i was telling you about. look at this. we have the yellow pages. i didn't know they made this anymore. this is a book called "full disclosure" by stormy daniels. you can take that and read it to
11:47 pm
her or whatever. >> translator: thank you very much. >> jimmy: i read that you should only have 30 books. >> translator: i don't know where that rumor came from. that's a misconception. >> jimmy: oh, good. i need more than 30. >> translator: the thing you need to do is wake up the books a little bit. >> jimmy: hey, guys, wake up! >> translator: this is your office area? >> jimmy: yeah, it really is more embarrassing when you stop and take a look at it. >> translator: when you look around, survey the area, what sparks joy. >> jimmy: this is a wiffle bat signed by magic johnson. do you know who magic johnson is? >> translator: is he a baseball player? >> jimmy: no, he's a basketball player. >> translator: this is something that sparks joy, so yeah. >> jimmy: all right, so we'll put that up on the wall. so i have all this stuff on the ground here. >> translator: you're going to need to touch each and every one
11:48 pm
and see which one brings you joy. >> jimmy: oh, okay. there's my pants. i've been wondering what happened to these. i lost these. and now i found them. thank you. you know what this is? this is, this is an emergency ladder i bought in case we need to escape. >> translator: is that a cockroach? >> jimmy: no, those are -- oh, yeah, that is a cockroach. oh, boy, sorry about that. so this is a sculpture. my cousin and brother had this made for me of my grandfather's head. it's great, and i love it, but it's right here in the middle of the coffee table, and i'm worried that it's going to get ruined. >> translator: perhaps you can create one dedicated shelf for your grandfather's head. >> jimmy: that sounds horrible but i think you're right, yeah. maybe i'll get rid of all these bottles of alcohol, and this table will be dedicated to my grandfather's head.
11:49 pm
>> translator: good idea. >> jimmy: i want to show you one more thing. are you familiar with the song "the rain" by orange juice jones? >> translator: no, sorry. >> jimmy: the song goes like this. it goes hey, hey, baby, how you doin' today? you miss me? you did. i missed you too. i missed you so much i followed you today. close your mouth because you're cold busted. i'm so upset with you i don't know what to do. my first impulse was to run up on you and do a ram willing but i didn't want to mess up this $3700 lynx coat. so instead i chilled. that's right. i chilled. then i went to the bank and took out every dime, i went and canceled all your credit cards, all your charge accounts. i stepped up for every piece of jewelry i ever bought you. no, no. don't go look in that closet. everything you came here with is packed up and waiting for you in
11:50 pm
the guest room. what was you thinking about? what was you try-to prove? you was with the juice. ♪ ♪ hush puppy ♪ silly rabbits >> jimmy: trix were made for kids. don't you know that? that's the key right there, because this is a box of trix, and it's signed by orange juice jones. i'll wait for you to translate that whole thing. i think that boils it down. i feel more stable emotionally, now. i was worried you were going to come in here like the cookie monster, just destroying everything. >> translator: i hear that a lot. but i'm not going to tidy for you. it's your job to tidy your own space. >> jimmy: i'm going to clean up and see what the result is of this. >> translator: i'll be looking forward to that. >> jimmy: thank you. >> translator: thank you.
11:51 pm
11:52 pm
there are so many toothpastes out there... ...which one should i use? choose one that takes care of your gums and enamel. crest gum & enamel repair cleans below the gum line and helps repair weakened enamel. gum & enamel repair. look for a $2 coupon in this sunday's paper. ♪there's no escape... it's taking over.♪ ♪...you better get moving. ready or not♪ ♪...it's about to go down here it comes now♪ ♪...get ready (oh oh oh oh), get ready♪ ♪...moving. ready or not ♪...get ready (oh oh oh oh) new galaxy. free buds. music to your ears. get free galaxy buds when you pre-order galaxy s10 or s10+. ♪ if♪ darling, tell me me, loveall the ways ♪ay ♪ ♪ tell me all the ways from our store, to your car door. ♪ all the ways choose drive up, at target.
11:54 pm
(pathe best of both worlds howwith sprint?people they get i have... (sassbot) how about we get two-sport legend, bo jackson... (bo) sup? (bo) guys - you don't need me. just tell people they get a great network and a great price with sprint. (sassbot) yes! you can get an unlimited plan and an iconic phone for just $25 a month, on an lte advanced network that's up to 2x faster than before. (evelyn) bo does...know. (vo) switch to sprint and get an unlimited plan with the samsung galaxy s9 lease and hulu included for just $25 a month. no trade-in required. for people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay.com
11:55 pm
whareliable wifi with coverage, throughout your home? how about having internet that can help you save on wireless phone service? xfinity gives you the fastest speeds for all your devices. plus, now that xfinity mobile is included, you can switch your wireless carrier and save hundreds of dollars a year. talk and text as much as you want and only pay for data. now that's simple, easy, awesome. click, call or visit a store today. >> jimmy: tonight, he is a terrific writer and thinker whose work you can find on esquire.com. charles pierce is here. then, this is their first album in eight years. it's called "elephants on acid."
11:56 pm
cypress hill from the mercedes-benz outdoor stage. you can see cypress hill live on tour, starting february 19th in anaheim. and you can smell the smoke from their dressing room all the way in anaheim too. tomorrow night, billy crystal will be here and we'll have music from emily king. and on thursday, viggo mortensen, rita moreno, and music from summer walker. so please join us then. our first guest tonight is a remarkably talented woman who holds nearly every acting award on earth. her tv show is called "how to get away with murder." watch it thursday nights on abc. please welcome tony, emmy and oscar-winner viola davis. [cheers and applause] ♪ >> jimmy: how are you? good to see you. i like your hair. it's big. >> thank you. [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: boy, i wish i had an
11:57 pm
afro. i really do. i would love to have a fro. >> you do? >> jimmy: i do, but i don't have one. >> afros are really difficult to maintain. >> jimmy: to keep it in the shape? >> everything is hard with the fro, it's hard to moisturize it, which is why i always used to wear wigs. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> you know, until i did something that really stopped it for a long period of time. i went to get an mri, and i put a wig on my head. >> jimmy: okay. >> you don't know that in order to keep a wig on your head, you got to put pins in it. >> jimmy: oh, oh. >> you know when you go to get the mri, it's magnetic. >> jimmy: oh. the pins went where? >> no, let me tell you sothing, jimmy. the fact that i'm sitting here and my dignity is still in tact, as soon as i walked in the room, the wig started floating off my
11:58 pm
head, and those pins came out like bullets. they were like, doo, doo doo, doo. and the tech woman started ducking. she started ducking. screaming, oh, my god, oh, my god, your name is viola davis, right? half of them were stuck on the mri machine. half of the pins were on the floor and half of the wig was off my head. >> jimmy: i hope everything was okay. it sounds like the mri was more dangerous. >> an mri is something you have to do every year. >> jimmy: can i tell you, i know almost nothing about the female body. ask my wife. i don't know where anything goes. >> you're not the only one. when you talk about anything, especially dealing with menopause or breasts, men just die a slow death. >> jimmy: i know this is going
11:59 pm
to sound like a very stud question, and it is a stupid question for a man my age. >> go ahead and hit me with it. >> jimmy: what is menopause? [ laughter ] i've heard of it. [ applause ] i know that it happens. >> you know what? menopause is hell. jimmy. >> jimmy: is it really? >> menopause is a dark hole, okay? that's what menopause is, so that's where i am right now. i either will love my husband today or kill him today. >> jimmy: how long does it last? >> you know what? somebody needs to tell me. it's been going on six or seven years. but the other day, my husband said v, can you take this bowl and put this in the sink? i said oh, sweetheart, yeah, let me see the bowl, let me put it in the sink. and five minutes later he looked at me. he said, v, are you okay? i said, yeah, i'm fine. are you sure you're okay?
12:00 am
because i found that bowl in the refrigerator. please tell me you not going crazy. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: but you might be going crazy. >> no, i'm not going crazy. i'm not going to go down like that. but everything, the weight gain, it's like that cartoon where a little girl gets on the scale and a friend runs up behind her and says get off that thing, everybody who gets on that cries! so that's me. i'm getting on that thing crying every day. >> jimmy: whoa, i'm sorry to catch you at this moment. shall we maybe reschedule this interview? >> no, i don't want to reschedule. >> jimmy: are you a neat person? like i had this woman, marie kondo. do you know about her? >> yes, i do. and she is changing lives. >> jimmy: she is changing lives. >> i'm not good with that. >> jimmy: you're more like me? >> i'm very much like you. and my husband is ocd. everything is neat, neat, neat. me, my big thing when i met him,
12:01 am
two things that i carry around, and you know i travel with my stuff. i had a big, white leather bag filled with all my old love letters from men who had dumped me. >> jimmy: really? >> i kept them. i said i need to remember this. it's for my work. >> jimmy: yes. >> and then i had a box filled with all the receipts of all the money i let people borrow in the past. >> jimmy: really? >> western union receipt, when i let my sister borrow $25. i was so pissed. every time she'd borrow money from me i'd rip it out and go, remember that damn $25? i used to carry it, like literally from new york to l.a. to different places until i actually read the love letters. >> jimmy: and the receipts, though, just so i can be clear on this. i can understand western union. when you gave your sister $25 you made her sign a little note saying that you had given her $25?
12:02 am
>> no, it was a $25 money order receipt when i had to go from damn midtown manhattan to the upper west side on a busy day to send her a money order, and i said, i'm going to keep this damn thing and make her pay! >> jimmy: and has she paid you. >> no. >> jimmy: she hasn't. how long ago did she borrow this money? >> 1994. >> jimmy: okay. well, we're going to take a break. i'm going to compound the interest, and we're going to figure this all out. don't get mad at me during the break, okay? >> you're cool. >> jimmy: viola davis is here, we'll be right back. ♪
12:03 am
a test. [ grunting ] a test that jeff failed miserably. [ upbeat music starts ] the spacious volkswagen tiguan. more room means more fun. for healthy living... and take an extra 20% off! women's tanks are just $11.19... save on men's and women's new balance shoes... and the ninja bullet is only $79.99. plus - you'll get kohl's cash! this weekend - only at kohl's. i am totally blind. and non-24 can make me show up too early... or too late. or make me feel like i'm not really "there." talk to your doctor,
12:04 am
and call 844-234-2424. the only network to win in all four major awards is the one more people rely on. choose america's most reliable network on the best device, iphone. now get $300 off the latest iphone. that leave therea lasting impression. like the feeling of movement as a new journey begins, or the sight of soft fur, warmed by the morning sun.
12:05 am
12:07 am
all of you. how you live, what you love. that's what inspired us to create america's most advanced internet. internet that puts you in charge. that protects what's important. it handles everything, and reaches everywhere. this is beyond wifi, this is xfi. simple. easy. awesome. xfinity, the future of awesome. yes! for presidents day you get that so i can save up to 40% on appliances? and 10% with your sears card plus $100 cashback in points! yes! shop sears where we love to say yes to you! ♪ should we really be talking about this here? >> this is the last time we are
12:08 am
going to be talking. >> until the fbi calls. >> the last time we saw him was at the wedding. >> jimmy: that is viola davis in "how to get away with murder" which is in the fifth season of the show. and you aren't committed to murder. >> lying, cheating, all of it, all the good stuff. >> jimmy: when you were originally pitched this show, was the title "how to get away with murder", or did that come later on? >> no, that came later on, and i said the title is going to be my character. and that's when my name was annalise dewitt. >> jimmy: i see. >> and i said, i don't seem like an annalise dewitt. >> jimmy: it's not a catchy title.
12:09 am
>> i would have accepted it. >> jimmy: you have so many awards now, i wonder if it's like, television, it's a disgusting kind of work that i do and guillermo does, you should be, shouldn't you be elevated above us in some way? >> oh, i love that, by the way. elevated above you? >> jimmy: yes. >> well, you know, it pays for my housekeeper. >> jimmy: i see. >> you know, who tidies up for me. >> jimmy: who makes sure to put the bowls from the refrigerator into the sink. >> yes, exactly. >> jimmy: yes. >> in my drawer next to my bed which has my taser, my chocolate, my pepper spray. >> jimmy: do you ever reach for some chocolate and accidently get the taser or pepper spray? >> i actually have. especially late at night, you know? >> jimmy: that's a mistake you don't want to make. >> yeah. >> jimmy: you're always very funny on the show, why not do comedies? you don't seem to do that kind of thing. [cheers and applause] the audience agrees. >> well, i actually have a comedy that i'm doing now with
12:10 am
alison janney. >> jimmy: oh, she's fantastic. she's another one, you guys kind of have that same thing going. >> we have synergy. >> jimmy: you have so many awards between the two of you that you shouldn't even be on television, not that we, we want you to stay on television forever. >> well, you know, it pays. >> jimmy: i know. do you ever audition for anything? >> no. and that's a good thing. >> jimmy: when was the last time you auditioned for something? >> i auditioned for "the help." >> jimmy: i know auditioning is kind of like a whole different thing. are you a good auditioner? >> sometimes, and sometimes no. i remember one time i had an audition once for henry iv. and i said i'm going to get this role. and i'm going to be great. so i had a big crying scene.
12:11 am
and i kissed my casting director with a snotty nose. in the middle of the audition. and when i say i kissed him, i kissed him with that nose dripping, and it was so enjoyable that i kissed him again. and it made no sense in the scene. >> jimmy: wow. and i assume you got the part. >> no, i did not get the part. >> jimmy: you didn't get the part! >> and whenever i see him, i say, do you remember when i kissed you? and he looked horrified. >> jimmy: wow, that's something else. he should be, he should be delighted that you kissed him. >> that's right. it was the best kiss of his life. >> jimmy: always great to have you here. viola davis. watch "how to get away with murder" thursday nights at 10:00 p.m. here on abc. charles p. pierce is here. we'll be right back. ♪ did you try this one? feel this one. it's amazing!
12:12 am
twooooo... it's nice. but it's kinda pricey. hi. hi. you can't skimp on a decision this important. a mattress is where you'll spend over half your life and eat all your meals. but it's all good. just use pay it plan it. pay it plan it is a payment feature from american express. choose a monthly plan to split up large purchases over time with no interest and a fixed fee. need me to help you carry this to your car or... the powerful backing of american express. don't live life without it. let's show them what we got. sorry we're late for the party. [ screaming ] [ epic music ] wow. what if we spice excethings up a bit? alexa... "fire" by the ohio players ♪fire (uh) (uh) what if we turn it up a notch? ♪fire (it's all about) (uh, uh) what if we go off the map? ♪fire (woo, woo, woo)
12:13 am
♪fire the all-new rav4. toyota. let's go places. think only specialty stores have what's new? olay has the hottest debut. new olay clay stick masks, hydrating facial mist, and brightening eye cream. only by olay. intnow with sculpt.se rockstar 24/7 denim hurry in to old navy for all jeans on sale up to fifty percent off. with kids from eight dollars, adults from fifteen dollars, only at old navy. ♪ now it's your turn to play.
12:14 am
♪ ♪ she looked at me and... athat was it.t we had this instant trust. she helps me... uh... see the beauty in the world. adopt love at our national adoption event. this weekend at your local petsmart®. oh! oh! oh! ♪ ozempic®! ♪ (announcer) people with type 2 diabetes are excited about the potential of once-weekly ozempic®. in a study with ozempic®, a majority of adults lowered their blood sugar and reached an a1c of less than seven and maintained it. oh! under seven? and you may lose weight. in the same one-year study, adults lost on average up to 12 pounds. oh! up to 12 pounds? a two-year study showed that ozempic® does not increase the risk of major cardiovascular events like heart attack, stroke, or death. oh! no increased risk? ♪ oh, oh, oh, ozempic®! ♪
12:15 am
ozempic® should not be the first medicine for treating diabetes, or for people with type 1 diabetes or diabetic ketoacidosis. do not share needles or pens. don't reuse needles. do not take ozempic® if you have a personal or family history of medullary thyroid cancer, multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type 2, or if you are allergic to ozempic®. stop taking ozempic® and get medical help right away if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, itching, rash, or trouble breathing. serious side effects may happen, including pancreatitis. tell your doctor if you have diabetic retinopathy or vision changes. taking ozempic® with a sulfonylurea or insulin may increase the risk for low blood sugar. common side effects are nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, stomach pain, and constipation. some side effects can lead to dehydration, which may worsen kidney problems. i discovered the potential with ozempic®. ♪ oh! oh! oh! ozempic®! ♪ ask your healthcare provider if ozempic® is right for you.
12:17 am
12:19 am
♪ ♪ with the glad advanced protection kitchen bag. it's glad's strongest, toughest, most leak resistant bag. be happy, it's glad.™ ♪ if♪ darling, tell me me,. loveall the ways ♪ay ♪ ♪ tell me all the ways ♪ all the ways at the store, or to your door. target run and done. the communal feast. potluck. this parade of dishes will soon be yours to scrub. and they're not even... yours. new and improved dawn ultra can finish off this buffet.
12:20 am
each drop now has even more grease-cleaning power. so you can scrub 50% less, and get done faster. next month, their place! a drop of dawn and grease is gone. check out our new trick. ♪ steady.. - roger! steady.. now! go all in for what you love with tony and kellogg's frosted flakes. now in delicious new honey nut. as part of this complete breakfast. they're gr-r-r-reat!
12:21 am
the only network to win in all four major awards is the one more people rely on. choose america's most reliable network on the best device, iphone. now get $300 off the latest iphone. i wish i could tell ya how i feel about a mornin' like this. and that includes a good hearty breakfast. you need somethin' to kinda warm the whole body up and gets it going. it's a great way to kick off your day. [ soft piano music playing ] mm, uh, what do you do for fun? -not this. ♪ -oh, what am i into? mostly progressive's name your price tool. helps people find coverage options based on their budget. flo has it, i want it, it's a whole thing, and she's right there. -yeah, she's my ride. this date's lame. he has pics of you on his phone. -they're very tasteful.
12:23 am
>> jimmy: welcome back. cypress hill is on the way. our next guest is a author, blogger, sportswriter and former forest ranger. read "politics with charles p. pierce" multiple times a day on esquire.com. please say hello to charles pierce. ♪ >> jimmy: as i've expressed to you over the internet, i love your work. >> i'm endeared to you, too. i'm just glad i didn't get the menopause question. >> jimmy: do you know what menopause is? >> yes, i do, but i don't want to go into that. >> jimmy: you write on esquire.com. a lot of it is about the president of the united states. when you write the word president, you add an asterisk.
12:24 am
>> i do. i have to give my wife credit for that. i had to find a way to express my deep respect that i hold for the incumbent president and for the office, and i kept tearing up the language trying to find a way to do it, and my wife margaret said why don't you just use an asterisk. >> jimmy: you do not capitalize president. >> no, that's an old newspaper style thing. if you don't use the surname, you don't use the capital. i'm just being associated press nerd. >> jimmy: you were supposed to be here after the state of the union address. >> i thought it was the best speech he every gave. >> jimmy: it was to the point, but when nancy pelosi disinvited the president, which i didn't know that's how it went. >> you have to be invited.
12:25 am
nobody gave a speech between thomas jefferson and woodrow wilson, they just sent out a message. i figured the president could tweet it out. i'm great and so is the state of the union, fake news. >> jimmy: do you think it was a productive thing she did when she told him you may not come to the house and give this speech? >> i thought it was a cutthroat thing she did. you're not going to come in, and by the way, i'll let you know when you can come in. >> jimmy: it's interesting. but i wonder if it does any good. do you think it does? >> i'm not entirely sure anything does any good. you know, if everything, if the endless list of things that have happened around that president hasn't done any good yet, doing that isn't going, i mean i think it did the nation good, because we didn't have to listen to it. >> jimmy: well, now we do on
12:26 am
tuesday anyway. >> that's right. >> jimmy: as you know, a lot of people are throwing their hat in the ring. >> except eric garcetti, who doesn't want to be president. >> jimmy: he's the mayor of los angeles. do you think he doesn't want to run for president? >> i don't think i wants to run for president, nobody blames him. it's a soul despising thing that makes you kiss a pig in iowa. i think the odds are 60-40 that he will run. he has the best genes. and he has husbanded the finite amount of energy that everybody has. people have forgotten most of this stuff. >> jimmy: he doesn't know the word husbanded. >> if he wanted a way out, he could claim, i'm sure, that he has some sort of ailment.
12:27 am
>> jimmy: that's what i would do. >> because i think everyone would believe that. >> jimmy: i would say, i went in for an mri, and the needles in my wig went right through my head. and i need to take a break. that is what he should do. >> yeah. >> jimmy: a lot of people think joe biden is the democrats' best chance. you do not agree with that. >> no, i don't. and i like joe biden, and i thought he was a heck of a vice president. if he wanted to run for vice president, i would be on board. i think you should have to run for vice president like the old days. no, i think he's missed his window, sometime in the 1980s, to be perfectly honest with you. and i think the party has moved considerably in a more progressive direction than to be satisfied with joe biden. i think there are people out there who can appeal to the same, you know, joe biden voters in the midwest, certainly, sharod brown. elizabeth warren from my own state is moving in that
12:28 am
direction as is kamala harris. i don't think there's a spot for him at this time. if he wanted to be king maker, that could be his role. if i was a democratic politician i would love to have joe biden on the stump for me. i talked about kissing the pig in iowa, joe biden would slow dance with the pig in iowa. he loves all the political stuff that most politicians hate. >> jimmy: trump said we're going to take a break from the shutdown, we're going to take three weeks and negotiate. and if we don't, we're going to shut it down. do you think they'll shut it down? >> no, because the republican senators will run for the lifeboats. they don't want another shutdown. nobody wants another shutdown. they had air traffic controllers saying, hey, don't get on an airplane this week.
12:29 am
that was some very serious business. and you had multi-million dollar damage to places like joshua tree out here. the shutdown helps nobody and it really doesn't help the republicans, and somebody's got to run for senate again in 2020. and they don't want that hung around their necks. >> jimmy: today roger stone pled not guilty to a variety of counts. do you know him? >> no, obviously anyone around politics. >> jimmy: he seems like a good guy. >> a swell guy. if hr puffen stuff had gone to slithering. he has sort of been in the long history of political pranksters, which is a proud tradition in american politics. he is the evil twin of that. what he does is damage people. i think there are limits to political pranksterism. that said, he's a great show.
12:30 am
>> jimmy: speaking of great shows, rudy giuliani. was rudy giuliani always like this and we didn't realize it? some believe he was bitten by a radioactive clown. how did this happen? >> honestly i don't know. because when he was the u.s. attorney in new york he was a very stern, you know, catholic kind of rigid guy who used to person walk stockbrokers out of, you know, wall street officers in handcuffs. at the same time he had this baroque private life that we only learned about afterwards. but now he's out there being the president's buffoon. if i'm ever charged with capital murder, don't hire rudy giuliani as my lawyer, please? because he's going to get on television and tell people i did it. no, seriously, he's going to have the knife. >> jimmy: and we're selling it for a very low price.
12:31 am
>> and can you have it on ebay. >> jimmy: i love your stuff. it seems like you're reading and watching all day long and posting about it. >> yeah, i wake up in the morning. >> i used to write a newspaper column, so i know what it's like to have a semi-permanent deadline. i wake up in the morning, and there's a brief moment when i say, god, what am i going to write about today? and i turn on the internet. and there's a rich environment. >> jimmy: charles p. pierce! "politics with charles p. pierce" is on esquire.com. and we'll return with music from cypress hill. ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.
12:32 am
...you realize you can totally eat out more? that's yes for less. get the latest spring trends for your home at 20 to 60 percent off specialty store prices. at ross. yes for less. at ross. okay, so you've been to the it's great right? earth. but i bet you haven't done this. or that. or been here. i bet you haven't met her,
12:33 am
or him, or them. ooo, dance-off! this is... incredible. you, see what i did right there. and when is the last time you felt like this, or that or (sighs deeply) i mean, come on- that's basically a perfect moment. it's time to make some magic for as low as $70 per person, per day. great minds shop alike? yes. that's yes for less. yep! yes, yes, yes ,yes, yes... yes. seriously, 20 to 60 percent off department store prices every day. at ross. yes for less. >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: i want to thank viola davis and charles pierce, apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next, but first, this is their album "elephants on acid."
12:34 am
here with the song "crazy," cypress hill! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ hey, hey, ♪ i think i'm goin crazy i think i'm goin crazy losin my mind ♪ ♪ i see elephants all of the time i'm goin loco ♪ ♪ i think i'm losin my mind goin crazy i'm goin loco ♪ ♪ feel like i'm flyin on a spaceship speech gone ♪ ♪ elephants kinda got my tongue i'm goin loco ♪ ♪ we ain't goin home til the sun up all night on this road ♪ ♪ feels like my head is gonna explode vision all up man i'm gone ♪ ♪ dead in the middle of the twilight zone losin my mind so high no lie ♪ ♪ can't tell if i'm in a dream my oh my ♪ ♪ if i die tonight i'ma get high tonight not sure i'll survive the night ♪ ♪ now i sweat can't see straight
12:35 am
now i start to hallucinate ♪ ♪ still way so crazed you know it now if you come at me better slow it down ♪ ♪ i'm about to snap don't come close got a strap on the lap ratta-tat-tat ♪ ♪ po-po's comin i'm on the run with sun on my back and my elephant lungs ♪ ♪ if i see another one grab my elephant gun if you can't see it's irrelevant son ♪ ♪ he's so insane that's what they say he hit that bong too hard one day ♪ ♪ i think i'm losin my mind goin crazy i'm goin loco ♪ ♪ feel like i'm flyin on a spaceship speech gone elephants kinda got my tongue ♪ ♪ we ain't goin home til the sun i think i'm losin my mind goin crazy ♪ ♪ feel like i'm flyin on a spaceship speech is gone elephants kinda got my tongue ♪ ♪ we ain't goin home til the sun ♪ ♪ burn my clutch brain got stuck somethin ain't right i can feel it in my gut ♪ ♪ don't ask me cause i don't know where i came from or where's my home ♪ ♪ if i seem uptight you ain't wrong i'm bout to start swingin
12:36 am
and droppin bombs ♪ ♪ got that stare you know which one one that says i came here for fun ♪ ♪ went nuts what the i really can't tell which way is up ♪ ♪ bout to snap don't come close strap on the lap ratta-tat-tat ♪ ♪ think i'm goin crazy goin crazy think i'm goin crazy goin crazy ♪ ♪ i think i'm losin my mind goin crazy i'm goin loco ♪ ♪ feel like i'm flyin on a spaceship speech gone elephants kinda got my tongue ♪ ♪ we ain't goin home til the sun ♪ ♪ i'm goin loco i think i'm losin my mind goin crazy ♪ ♪ feel like i'm flyin on a spaceship speech is gone elephants kinda got my tongue ♪ ♪ we ain't goin home til the break of sun ♪ [cheers and applause]
12:37 am
this is "nightline." tonight. the jussie smollett onslaught, a crush of cameras, questions and accusations after the actor's arrest. >> why would anyone, especially an african american man use the symbolism of a noose to make false accusations. >> accused of paying for the fake crime he accused two men of. >> we have the check he used to pay them. >> as the truth comes out. plus, influence stars from
253 Views
IN COLLECTIONS
KGO (ABC) Television Archive Television Archive News Search ServiceUploaded by TV Archive on