Skip to main content

tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  March 5, 2019 11:35pm-12:37am PST

11:35 pm
we appreciate your time. >> thanks for being here. >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live". tonight -- samuel l. jackson. from "the fix", robin tunney. and music from x ambassadors. and now, suddenly, jimmy kimmel. ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: hi, everyone. welcome, welcome. hello! very nice. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thank you for coming. thank you for joining us. please, relax. i have to tell you. today was a, it was a special
11:36 pm
day today at our house, because today is my wife, molly's birthday. [cheers and applause] i'll tell her you said that. she's 19 years old today. and this morning our 4-year-old, jane, immediately, she wants to know when the cake is coming. i'm making oatmeal, and she wants cake. we sit down, we're at the table having breakfast, and i say do you want to know what kind of cake it is? she says yeah, and i said okay, don't tell mom, it's a surprise. her mother's sitting right there. i whisper in jane's ear, it's a confetti cake. and she's excited because she loves confetti anything. and i said don't tell mom. and now jane with this information can hardly contain herself. she's sitting there, not eating her oatmeal, staring at my wife. and she holds it in for a solid two minutes, and then she says, mom, you know what kind of cake i want for my birthday?
11:37 pm
confetti cake. after i stop laughing, she still thinks she's kept the secret. she says keep the secret with you, because i feel like my body wants to tell her. suffice it to say. [cheers and applause] in all likelihood, jane kimmel will not be recruited to the fbi. today's a big day for confetti. it's also mardi gras today. mardi gras. [ applause ] all the way back to the 17th century, when the king of france sent catholic fissionries missi the louisiana territory to flash their boobs in exchange for beading. it's french for "i vomited in a uber" today. i'm surprised we still have the bachelor in the year 2019, to be honest with you, which we will one day holook back on in shame.
11:38 pm
tan mig and it might be today. last night's episode of the bachelor was a doozy. even though we have two full shows before the finale, colton, the virgin bachelor told cassie, there's three left, but i'm pickin' you. she left because her dad was against them getting engaged. and colton jumped the fence and ran away from the house. the episode ended in a cliff-hanger. i guess somehow they found colton in the desert and convinced him to come back for the women tell all special. colton, the whole time, has been in the shower. >> there were a lot of fights. tears and drama this season before the infamous wall jump. and when we come back, it's time to dive into all of it. and colton is here. back stage, he's going to be out to face the ladies for the first time since breaking their
11:39 pm
hearts. [cheers and applause] it's all coming up next, when the bachelor women tell all returns. >> jimmy: and at that moment, the she too moment began. maybe you're trying to scrub the women off his body. not only did they tell all, they told all, all at once. >> shut up. >> i'm not talking to you right now. [ talking simultaneously ] >> i feel like i'm drowning. >> i know nothing about her. >> did she call you. >> did she tell people you're psycho? >>. >> all i hear you do is run your mouth! >> ladies, we're going to stop. >> all you do is talk about yourself and other people all day. >> time out, time out. >> she just shoved a pacifier in my mouth. >> i just shoved my heels on your throat. >> jimmy: maybe the women should tell less next time around.
11:40 pm
while this was going on, all the fighting and yelling, where was colton? >> colton is here. he is back stage. >> oh, my god. >> he will be out shortly to face these ladies, as soon as we get him out of the shower. >> jimmy: colton was still lathering up. if you were a 27-year-old virgin, you'd spend a lot of time in the shower, too. so. [cheers and applause] that happened tonight. today forbes released their annual list of billionaires, or as bernie sanders calls it, the list of people who will eat first. number one, the richest person, jeff bezos, ceo of amazon, worth $131 billion. almost all of that from selling tube socks, amazing. do you think jeff bezos has enough money to buy one of every item they have on amazon? i wonder, the youngest billionaire in the world at 21 years old is none other than kylie jenner, which that is a
11:41 pm
shock to me. of all the people in that family. if the kardashians were breakfast cereals, i figure kylie would be golden grahams. donald trump came in at number 715 in the list. he gained 51 spots from last year when he was ranked 766. he also gained 51 pounds from last year. he's been eating a lot of fast food. you know, the president invited another college team to the white house for hamburgers and french fries. north dakota state, they were treated to a fast food feast like he did with the team from clemson. this is textbook trump. he does something weird and keeps doing it over and over again to try to make it seem normal. there he is. he's never happier than when he's surrounded by pibig macs. he runs the white house like a divorced dad who just figured out he had the kids for the
11:42 pm
weekend. the first lady was in las vegas today for the second and final day of her be best tour. be best is melania's anti-cyber bullying campaign. while his wife is out on the road speaking out against cyber bullying, trump finds out hillary clinton isn't running again. which we all knew anyway and writes this. crooked hillary clinton confirms she will not run in 2020. rules out a third bid for the white house. ah, shucks, does that mean i don't get to run against her again? she will be sorely missed. she made the announcement with news 12 west chester, but even though she made the announcement to a small news outlet sha, out reaction was anything but. >> she closed the door on a third white house run. >> i'm not running. [cheers and applause]
11:43 pm
>> jimmy: some people were upset about it, but hillary clinton officially will not run for president again. who do you think is more disappointed by this, donald trump or bill clinton? now that it's official i guess we can cross her name off the list, guillermo. >> that's right, jimmy. >> jimmy: these are all the democratic candidates and potential democratic candidates for president of the united states. you can see we've got stacey abrams, kelsea ballerini, michael bloomberg. cross him off the list, too. it's alphabetical, guillermo, so. >> all right. hold on. >> jimmy: yeah, go by the last name. bloomberg, oh, please be careful. please. you're national treasure. and hillary clinton. there you go. we still have tickle me elmo and a number of others.
11:44 pm
i didn't know, i didn't know the progressive insurance lady was running. how about that. that's interesting. you know, dr. ben carson who ran for president is in the news. you remember him? dr. ben carson's indicated he may leave his post of secretary of housing and urban development at the end of trump's term. we've finally heard him speak and it's to tell us he's leaving. losing ben carson will be a big blow for the trump administration because it will significantly reduce the number of black people it can parade before congress. he does not take accusations that the president is racist lying down. >> michael cohen in his testimony last week said the president was quote, a racist unquote. you've been with him. you've talked to him.
11:45 pm
what do you say about cohen's criticism? >> i think cohen is trying to ingratiate himself to the people who hate trump, and he figures if he says these kinds of things that that will accomplish that. i've never seen anything even remotely would remind me of racist. and believe me, i recognize a racist when i see them. . >> jimmy: it's a sleepy time chat. he could be the next spokesman for my pillow. it's very cold in the united states. more than 200 million americans experienced freezing weather today, largely thanks to the "game of thrones" marketing trailer. have you seen the new trailer? they released the trailer for what will be the eighth and final season of "game of thrones." i watched it twice this morning. here's how i watch every trailer. i go wait, who is, i thought, do we, are we supposed to know who that is? i thought he was dead.
11:46 pm
anyway, i like hbo's strategy. as soon as everyone has forgotten everything that happened happened on the previous season they announce the trailer for the new one. winter is coming. that's for sure. if i was alive during the time -- was there a time of game the thrones. i would give up. i would become one of them. if everyone's undead, no one's undead, right? just a bunch of blue guys hanging out. it's official, "game of thrones" will return to hbo for their final season, april 14, 2038. so we have a good show for you tonight. from captain marvel, samuel l. jackson is here. [cheers and applause] this movie, captain marvel, the movie takes place in 1995, so
11:47 pm
marvel used makeup and computer graphics to make nick fury look like he did in 1995. and we get used to the amazing things these guys do at cgi, but what they did to cut 25 years off of samuel jackson's face is, they really knocked it out of the park. >> name the scroll. >> the path of the righteous man is to sit on all sides by the iniquity -- it's cool, baby, it's cool! >> jimmy: i would see that for sure. whenever a major movie, especially a marvel movie comes out, we run it by our in-house movie critic, yahya. here he is once again with his take on the most highly anticipated film of the year. here is yahya, talking about captain marvel. >> hi, it's me, yahya, i talk
11:48 pm
about the summer movie. summer? oh, no. hi, it's me yahya. i talk about the movie, new movie. the new movie captain marvel. she's one in that movie. she's like got the power, you know, and the idea of her on that movie is telling because you have spiderman, iron man. all man, now super woman. that, a lot of people in that movie. samuel jackson and ben mantisone. and juwa. the guy who done the movie, the movie is come 2019. what her name? his name barry lonson. she's in the movie king kong he got love with her.
11:49 pm
that's how he make sex with her. she's young. she's small and he big. i don't know. she bunch all the women. you know, in the subway, i don't know, i don't punch all the people, you know, but she punch all the women. it's not good. you need to help all the people. not punch. she's the captain in that movie. and the other movie, the captain is called captain american, like the guy for started the truck, what his name, william shakener, something. the guy, the captain also, the captain also, tom hanks is the captain for the plane, and tom hanks do the movie captain four the boat, and the guys from somalia come and he tell them i'm the captain now, tom hank, ima i'm the captain. >> go see the movie. she punch all the women in the
11:50 pm
face. it's great. >> jimmy: thank you very much, yahya. tonight on the show, music from x ambassadors. robin tunney is here. and we'll be right back with samuel l. jackson. so stick around. [cheers and applause] ♪ ] ♪ abc's jimmy kimmel live brought to you by sprint. you by sprint. (sassbot) how about we get two-sport legend, bo jackson... (bo) sup? (bo) guys - you don't need me. just tell people they get a great network and a great price with sprint. (sassbot) yes! you can get an unlimited plan and an iconic phone for just $25 a month, on an lte advanced network that's up to 2x faster than before. (evelyn) bo does...know. (vo) switch to sprint and get an unlimited plan with the samsung galaxy s9 lease and hulu included for just $25 a month. no trade-in required. for people with hearing loss, visit sprintrelay.com stop fearing your alarm clock... with zzzquil pure zzzs. a drug-free blend of botanicals with melatonin that supports your natural sleep cycle so you can seize the morning.
11:51 pm
zzzquil pure zzzs. (water -♪spitting sound) our thickest, toughest wipe... tackles any mess. cheez-i... so crispy.hin... but we fear, too snackable. which could be cata... ...strophic for our cheese supply. next slide! we are genuinely... ... concerned we may ...
11:52 pm
... run out of cheese! new cheez-it snap'd. how do you get skin happy aveeno® with prebiotic oat. it hydrates and softens skin. so it looks like this... and you feel like this. aveeno® daily moisturizer get skin happy™ is raised with no allantibiotics ever. chicken, [ music winding down ] they're a great decision for snacktime. allowing the band to practice at your house... not a great decision. keep it real. keep it tyson any'tizers. and i wanted to ask you before i ask her may i have your permission to marry her? you're marrying her and her whole world shop neil lane diamond engagement rings... ...at kay. discover your inner hero. and unlock the power...
11:53 pm
to speed through everything... in the blink of an eye. hertz fast lane powered by clear... in select airports 2019. hertz. we're here to get you there. marvel studios' captain marvel. in theaters march 8th.
11:54 pm
>> jimmy: tonight, from the new abc show "the fix," robin tunney is here. then their new song is called "boom." x ambassadors from the mercedes-benz stage. tomorrow night, chris pratt and gemma chan will join us. we'll have music from david gray. and on thursday, kate beckinsale, jason george, and music from sam fender. so please join us for that.
11:55 pm
you know, our first guest from every movie ever made. he's an oscar-nominated actor who returns to the role of nick fury in the highly anticipated "captain marvel." it opens in theaters and imax, friday. please welcome samuel l. jackson. [cheers and applause] ♪ >> jimmy: how you doin'? great to have you here. thanks for coming. >> my pleasure. >> jimmy: you can wear anything you want, and it looks cool. >> really? >> jimmy: if i wore that, people would say, are you sherlock holmes? >> what, too many buttons?
11:56 pm
>> jimmy: do the get mad when you wear those kind of hats? >> they got everything. they make these kind of hats. fedora. they make dope fedoras.fedoras.. >> jimmy: they're all-purpose hat maker. i want to apologize to the kango people. are they people? have you ever been to the kangle factory or anything like that? >> i have not. but at one point there was something going on, and they had a hat-making machine that was stuck somewhere, and i got it moved from wherever it was to another city. >> jimmy: how did you get it moved? >> money. i helped them. and they moved the hat-making machine from one place to another and fired it up and started making hats in this town where people could work.
11:57 pm
>> jimmy: wow, you saved the town. >> no, i didn't save the town. >> jimmy: let's go with you saved the town. samuel jackson saves the town. >> saved some jobs. >> jimmy: residents cheer as hat-making machine arrives. you went to the big premiere last night. >> i did. >> jimmy:ly sit the >> jimmy: did you sit there and watch the movie? a lot of actors get to the end of the red carpet and head right to the door. they don't want to watch themselves. >> you have a cast dinner and you show up at the party afterwards. >> jimmy: did you do that? >> no, i watched the movie. i'd never seen it with an audience. i'd only seen it once, with my agent, manager, lawyer, bookkeepers, you know, all kinds of people who had to cheer with it. oh, my god, you're
11:58 pm
[ applause ] i wanted to see it with an audience, i had my daughter and her friends in the row with me. it was kind of awesome. >> jimmy: sure. it's got to be the best part after all this work and promotion you have to do, sit next to people. >> to feel real joy from people around you, who are just sitting there, never seen it, don't know what it's about, gasp, screaming, crying, it was nice. >> jimmy: brie larson was here, and we spoke about you. she said you're one of her best friends. >> yeah. >> jimmy: is she one of your best friends? >> of course. yeah. >> jimmy: is she closer to you? who is ahead on the best friend list, brie or magic johnson? >> that's very different. i see brie a lot more than i see irvin. >> jimmy: oh, i see, because she was complaining, maybe grousing
11:59 pm
would be the word, that she was not invited on one of those trips to italy that you and magic take every summer. i would like that go as well. >> for the seventh, eighth time, i've been there nine times and you've mentioned it? >> jimmy: 12. and i mention it to magic every time he's here. and each time you guys nod politely, and the next thing i know, i'm sitting at home, looking at twitter and there you guys are on the boat and guess who's not there? me. >> you know what's easy? i can give you the name of the person who rents those boats. and. >> jimmy: i don't want to be on that boat. i want to be with you. >> we can visit. >> jimmy: oh, i see. >> now my wife and i actually do two weeks on a boefts oat of ou the last two weeks with irvin and cookie, it's like the black club. me and latonya and steve and
12:00 am
margie. >> jimmy: oh, steve harvey goes on this. >> they have their own boat, too. all three of these boats were rolling down the riviera, we were like, damn, look at this. >> jimmy: i don't blame you. i don't know that i'm going to be able to afford the yacht. what if we were able to attach a dinghy to the back. i could be in a little boat behind you and i'll join you for meals. >> we can rent you the tender. >> jimmy: that's thing that -- >> takes people from port to port. >> jimmy: i will swipe right on that tender. >> and the chef is awesome. >> jimmy: i bet he is. >> chef is so awesome, when we have hot dogs and hamburgers, he makes his own buns. >> jimmy: you guys are eating hot dogs in italy? >> some days. jo >> jimmy: i'm not coming. >> you're on vacation, some days you want decadent food. >> jimmy: what they did to your
12:01 am
face in this movie is crazy. >> process called lola. >> jimmy: and usually it looks nutty. it doesn't look right, but it looks so good. >> what's it usually look like? >> jimmy: you know when they -- >> bad work? >> jimmy: you know benjamin button, like alien came down. it doesn't look like an old person. >> i don't know that i should comment on that. >> jimmy: well, i'm commenting on that. this is in 1998 in "the negotiator." >> danny roman. >> jimmy: and here you are in this movie. >> danny roman face. >> jimmy: it's perfect. it's unbelievable. is that, is that weird for you to see and for your wife to see? >> i don't know about my wife. i watch my old movies all the time, so no. >> jimmy: it's not weird to see something you shot last year. >> no, if i'm channel surfing and there's something old of mine that i like i'll watch it. >> jimmy: what's last one you watched on tv on your own?
12:02 am
>> "diehard with a vengeance." >> jimmy: and i watched the whole thing? >> i watched it to where i caught up to it and it was over. >> jimmy: do you think about things that happened at that time, does it bring back memories? >> oh, totally, yeah. i'd just started playing golf when we were shooting that m e a movey. and we were shooting at yankee stadium. and it fell out. and they said if you hit that you're going to kill somebody. you can hit a driver two and a half football fields. i would have killed somebody in somebody's kitchen. >> jimmy: you never got the opportunity to hit a ball out of yankee stadium. >> not even with a wedge. >> jimmy: what about dodger stadium? >> i'll do that. yeah, man. >> jimmy: you're not going to kill anybody out there.
12:03 am
really? if you do, nobody will know. let's put it that way. sam jackson is here. captain marvel, we'll be right back. >> dicky: portions of "jimmy kimmel live" are brought to you by the all new samsung galaxy s10. the next generation galaxy has arrived. and you're gonna sing. -jamie, this is your house? -i know, it's not much, but it's home. right, kids? -kids? -papa, papa! -[ laughs ] -you didn't tell me your friends were coming. -oh, yeah. -this one is tiny like a child. -yeah, she is. oh, but seriously, it's good to be surrounded by what matters most -- a home and auto bundle from progressive. -oh, sweetie, please, play for us. -oh, no, i couldn't. -please. -okay. [ singing in spanish ] -please. -okay. this is you shopping. and this is you maximizing at t.j.maxx. when you get more you for your money, every time, it's not shopping, it's maximizing. maxx life at t.j.maxx
12:04 am
♪ do you ♪ love me? ♪ ♪ i can really move ♪ ♪ do you love me? ♪ i'm in the groove ♪ now do you love me? ♪ do you love me now that i can dance? ♪ applebee's 3 course meal. now that's eatin' good in the neighborhood.
12:05 am
the one with the designer dog collar.(sashimi) psst. hey, you! wondering how i upgraded to this sweet pad? a 1,200-square-foot bathroom, and my very own spa. all i had to do was give my human "the look". with wells fargo's 3% down payment on a fixed-rate loan and a simpler online application, getting into my dream home was easier than ever. get your human to visit wellsfargo.com/woof. what would she do without me?
12:06 am
tto harrison, the wine tcollection.. grace, you get the beach house, just don't leave the lights on, okay?
12:07 am
to mateo, my favorite chair. to chris, the family recipes. to craig, this rock. to jamie, well, let's just say, enjoy the ride. the redwoods to the redheads. the rainbows to the proud. the almonds to walter. the beaches to the bums. and the fog to, who else, karl. i leave these things to my heirs, all 39 million of you, on one condition. that you do everything in your power to preserve and protect them. with love, california.
12:08 am
name a detail so bizarre a scroll could never fabricate it. >> toast is cut diagonally, i can't eat it. you didn't need that, did you? >> no, no, i didn't, but i enjoyed it. >> okay, your turn. prove you're not a scroll. >> jimmy: scrolls can't do that. that's samuel jackson. it opens in theaters and i max on friday, playing nick fury without an eye patch, that had to be good to not have to wear that thing. >> not really. i like the eye patch. it's kind of dope to wear an eye patch. >> jimmy: does it change your performance in any way? >> it changes the way i learn my lines. >> jimmy: how does it change the way you learn your lines? >> something about my process,
12:09 am
when i look at it, i didn't have that much to live for spiderman stepping out of the shadows. i could ontario sly see half a . and i was like, oh, this is problematic. i told them to give me five minutes, i went and covered one eye, read the page, read the page, and it was fine. >> jimmy: it's like you're at the optometrist. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's interesting. >> it's kind of weird. it's interesting playing nick without that, without the knowledge that nick fury has, without the chip on his shoulder, without the attitude. kind of young, kind of free, kind of never met a super being or extraterrestrial. >> jimmy: had you ever worked with a cat before, in that, in that capacity i guess? >> in that capacity? not that closely. >> jimmy: did you like working with the cat? >> reggie was cool. >> jimmy: the cat's name was
12:10 am
reggie. >> reggie was cool. >> jimmy: that's cat's name. >> yeah, there were three others. each of them in specific tasks they were supposed to be good at. but reggie was the jack-of-all-trades. he could do everything. he got used to me kind of snackin' him. they give you stuff and you give him a snack and you talk gently to them while they're in their place and give them another snack and next thing you know, you're best friends. >> jimmy: is that the technical term? snacking them? >> that's what i call it. it's like cat dope. but it wasn't catnip. >> jimmy: you had a great moment at the oscars last, the weekend before last. >> two weeks ago, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: your good friend, spike lee, won, and you got to read his name. you got to give him, in fact we have the clip of it. i wanted to ask you about this. obviously, you guys were happy. did you have any idea you were going to have to carry him?
12:11 am
[ applause ] >> i had no idea he was going to put the toddler grip on me, but he did. you know, it's nice to have spike climb me like a tree. >> jimmy: have you ever picked spike up before? >> never. >> jimmy: how long have you guys known each other? >> wow. since '80 -- wow. i was doing "soldiers play" when i met spike. so maybe '84, '85. yeah. >> jimmy: long time ago. >> yeah, long team agime ago. >> jimmy: that's got to be great to hand an oscar to one of your old friends. >> they gave him the governor's award a couple years ago. >> jimmy: did he jump on you then? >> no, and he did not jump on wesley or denzel either. >> jimmy: don't jump on denzel, he might not catch you. >> but that's like an honorary
12:12 am
award. but it was nice for him to win for screen writing. he could have won for director, too. it would have been nice, but i don't think spike's done. he's still got stuff to do. it was awesome to say spike lee. >> jimmy: and awesome to say spike lee, even if he hadn't won. i mean, we wouldn't know. >> brie and i talked about that. but that's been enough controversy. >> jimmy: yeah. >> they think they fixed that by giving you envelope that have magnets on them. i don't know what that means. >> jimmy: there are magnets on the envelopes? >> you don't have to tear it open and hurt your finger. >> jimmy: if only they had thought of magnets when i was hosting, it would have been fine. >> what did you think about the no-host dealio? >> jimmy: i thought it was faster. i like to see a host. a lot of people lot of fashion at the oscars. i like to see the comedy with
12:13 am
the host and what they're going to do with the show. [ applause ] what do you think about it? >> i dug it. i had a great time. >> jimmy: you like it without the host. >> it was fast. it was moving, it was okay. >> jimmy: you're saying you had a bert ti a better time with me not there. >> no, not without you. >> jimmy: we'll work it all out on the yacht. >> we'll talk about it. >> jimmy: samuel l. jackson. "captain marvel" opens in theaters and imax, friday. robin tunney is here. we'll be right back. we'll be right back. i switched to chevy. i switched to chevy. we switched to chevy. i switched from a ram to a chevy. see why people are switching to chevy. we love our chevy. why did we switch? just look at it. switch into a new chevy today. current competitive owners get 21% below msrp on most equinox models when financing with gm financial. that's over $8,300 on this equinox.
12:14 am
equinox models when financing with gm financial. touch shows how we really feel. but does psoriasis ever get in the way? embrace the chance of 100% clear skin with taltz, the first and only treatment of its kind offering people with moderate to severe psoriasis a chance at 100% clear skin. with taltz, up to 90% of people quickly saw a significant improvement of their psoriasis plaques. don't use if you're allergic to taltz. before starting, you should be checked for tuberculosis. taltz may increase risk of infections and lower your ability to fight them. tell your doctor if you have an infection, symptoms, or received a vaccine or plan to. inflammatory bowel disease can happen with taltz, including worsening of symptoms. serious allergic reactions can occur. ready for a chance at 100% clear skin? ask your doctor about taltz.
12:15 am
you'll make my morning, buty the price ruin my day.ou? complicated relationship with milk? pour on the lactaid, 100% real milk, just without that annoying lactose. mmm, that's good. with the most lobster dishes lobsterfesof the yearred lobster like lobster lover's dream and new ultimate lobsterfest surf and turf. so come lobsterfest today!
12:16 am
and now for a limited time, get ten percent off red lobster to go. that's an aggressive yellow. pretty great, huh? if you're a banana. i find it very... appealing. kellogg's raisin bran with bananas. two scoops meet real banana slices. i've done a good job of raisin ya. two scoops meet real banana slices. so if i bought it for a business i started, i'm able to deduct it? yes, that's definitely a deductible expense. that was really helpful. man, i love technology, but it is infinitely better with people.
12:17 am
sometimes you need that real human touch you know? a little bit of empathy and understanding. like i was saying, humans and technology working together. you talk too much. turbotax live now with cpa's on demand. do i use a toothpaste that whitens my teeth? or one that's good for my teeth? now i don't have to choose. from crest 3d white. the whitening therapy collection. now with charcoal or coconut oil. it gently whitens. plus, it has a fortifying formula to protect your enamel. crest. healthy, beautiful smiles for life. ♪ ♪
12:18 am
12:19 am
♪ [cheers and applause] s and applause] [indistinct conversation]
12:20 am
[friend] i've never seen that before. ♪ ♪ i have... ♪ ♪ i have... our thickest, toughest wipe... tackles any mess. you could take the treatment in a different direction.s talk to your doctor about xeljanz, a pill, not an injection or infusion, for adults with moderate to severe ulcerative colitis. xeljanz is the first and only fda-approved pill for moderate to severe uc. it can reduce symptoms in as early as two weeks,
12:21 am
improve the appearance of the intestinal lining, and provide lasting steroid-free remission. xeljanz can lower your ability to fight infections including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened. as have tears in the stomach or intestines, serious allergic reactions, low blood cell counts, higher liver tests and cholesterol levels. don't start xeljanz if you have an infection. your doctor should perform blood tests before and while taking xeljanz, and monitor certain liver tests. tell your doctor if you've been somewhere fungal infections are common and if you've had tb, hepatitis b or c, or are prone to infections. you could take your uc treatment in a different direction. ask your gastroenterologist about xeljanz. [music playing] jerry has a membership to this gym, but he's not using it. and he has subscriptions to a music service he doesn't listen to and five streaming video services he doesn't watch. this is jerry learning that he's still paying for this stuff he's not using. he's seeing his recurring payments in control tower in the wells fargo mobile app. this is jerry canceling a few things. booyah.
12:22 am
this is jerry appreciating the people who made this possible. oh look, there they are. (team member) this is wells fargo. ♪ al♪ tell me all the ways s♪♪ and he said ♪ ♪ girl, you take care of me ♪ ♪ you are my thera♪y ♪ the better half of me ♪ say it again ♪ ♪ if you love me, love me, love me ♪ like you say ♪ ♪ darling tell me all the ways ♪
12:23 am
tell me all the ways ♪ now, we're bringing you all the ways to get what you need. target run & done. aww. yaaaayyy!!! aww. yaaaayyy!!! aww. yaaaayyy!!! we hide hotel names, so you can find four star hotels at two star prices. ♪ h-o-t-w-i-r-e ♪hotwire.com ♪ h-o-t-w-i-r-e i'm dying. oh... we're dying. if you can hear us honey, your father and i are dying. i'm dying. i'm dying. i'm dying. does anyone have a charger? yeah, just down here. ♪ sorry i'm dying. i'm dying. ♪
12:24 am
>> jimmy: if you're worried that your monday nights will lack suspense once "the bachelor"
12:25 am
wraps up, do not fear. our next guest's tv show will also have you wondering about whether a main character "did it." "the fix" premieres march 18th on abc. please welcome robin tunney. ♪ [cheers and applause] >> jimmy: congratulations on the show. >> thank you, thank you. >> jimmy: it's not a home improvement show, "the fix." >> no, and it also has nothing to do with o.j. simpson. it's a very different movie star who killed two people the first time around and may or hey not have done it again, created by marsha clark. >> jimmy: which is weird, i didn't know she was busy working on tv shows. >> she's apparently writing books, but it's interesting. when your boss is the most famous prosecutor in the world, you don't want to get in a fight with them.
12:26 am
you don't want to lose. you're like, marsha, the sky's blue, she's like, it's not, okay. >> jimmy: unless you're john ni cochran, you run off with the whole thing. is it based on her life? >> it's her origin stories. i didn't want to have the boss being on the more tnitor like i wouldn't do it like this. >> jimmy: you didn't have to get a perm? >> the perm was a good moment for her. my hair gets curlier. but sarah paulson did it so well, i was like please don't make me play you. she's amazing. >> jimmy: i didn't think about that. so it's not marsha clark. >> no. the character's name is maya travis. and she basically ran away after she could not put a movie star who killed his wife and her friend away.
12:27 am
>> jimmy: where did she run to. >> oregon to a horse farm with a really sexy cowboy. it's like a middle-aged fantasy for a woman, because i have a cow by boyfriend, a guy who's after me at work and a stalker. >> jimmy: that's big three. >> a status symbol, a stalker on facebook. >> jimmy: you're really nobody unless you have a stalker. >> so this character's really somebody. >> jimmy: where are you from originally? >> i'm from chicago. [cheers and applause] >> yeah. big irish family. we were very proud to be irish. ly i had a south side gang coat. we always celebrated christmas eve together. and you had to gamble and get wasted. >> jimmy: what kind of gambling? >> cards, in between the sheets.
12:28 am
thousands of dollars on the table. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah, police called sometimes, there would be fights. they love to gamble. >> jimmy: my family, we were gamble, but it was literally for pennies. and sometimes it would be for cheerios or something. >> we would gamble on, is so-and-so going to wear this? you could find anything to gamble on. >> jimmy: so you had prop bets. >> we had prop bets. yeah. we're really into it. it's like a hazing process. you know, you bring your new boyfriend. and if he can drink enough, he can stay. >> jimmy: i see. >> and they bring them shots. i brought my child's father, my boyfriend home to chicago for the first time, and i figured christmas eve would be too much for him, so i wanted to warm it up with thanksgiving to see if he could make it. >> jimmy: i see. >> and i brought him to my uncle billy's house to tried to hustle him in pool.
12:29 am
>> jimmy: oh. >> basically, he threw the first game. >> jimmy: right, classic. >> and my uncle's like so, second game, what do you say we throw a little money on this? and i was like don't do it, he's going to kill you. do not do it. and it was this moment where he decided to flatter him. i'm south side irish. my boyfriend is a jewish guy from beverly hills. you know who you look like? adam levine. >> jimmy: does he look like adam levine? >> i don't know. i mean, kind of. he's good lookin'. >> jimmy: how much money did your uncle billy take from boyfriend adam levine? >> he was smart had enough not to put the money down. i'm not allowed to talk about my father tonight. >> jimmy: why? >> he told me he was going to start charging me for bits.
12:30 am
i did this show and i told how he said he was a hurricane katrina survivor to get a discounted at a buffet. i was nervous about how he was going to respond. and he was like, honey, robin, you got to start living and get your own stories. i'm going to be dead someday. i'm going to charge you $100. >> jimmy: technically, you owe him $100 already. tell me one that he won't love. what did he do for a living? >> he was a car salesperson and would make me and my sister dress up like help he wanted to either humiliate us or it was generating business, i
12:31 am
don't know. and also i got really into poker for a while. i played in the world series. >> jimmy: oh, in vegas, wow. >> and he happened to come out when there was a really good poker tournament on. it was at this huge mansion, the hills. hey, dad, you want to go to a party? and i went and made it to the final table. it was like the best poker players in the business. i look for my dad. i can't find him. he was giving people a tour of the house and pretending it was his. and he was like, honey, when you're the oldest guy at the party you have to at least pretend you're rich. >> jimmy: that's pat tunney for you. >> that's pat tunney for you. >> jimmy: robin tunney. "the fix" premieres monday, march 18th here on abc. and we'll return with music from x ambassadors. [cheers and applause] ♪ >> dicky: the "jimmy kimmel live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing.
12:32 am
the best or nothing. alright,yeah!excited? waaahoo... well... that was fun, right? it's time to get more. lower fares. better service. sweeter rewards. alaska airlines. the one with the designer dog collar.(sashimi) psst. hey, you! wondering how i upgraded to this sweet pad? a 1,200-square-foot bathroom, and my very own spa. all i had to do was give my human "the look". with wells fargo's 3% down payment on a fixed-rate loan and a simpler online application, getting into my dream home was easier than ever. get your human to visit wellsfargo.com/woof. what would she do without me?
12:33 am
live" concert series is presented by mercedes-benz. the best or nothing. >> jimmy: i want to thank
12:34 am
sam jackson and robin tunney, apologies to matt damon. "nightline" is next, but first here with the song "boom," x ambassadors. ♪ ♪ my feet go boom, boom boom, boom boom, boom ♪ ♪ boom, boom, boom my heart beats boom, boom boom, boom ♪ ♪ boom, boom boom, boom, boom high speed go zoom, zoom ♪ ♪ zoom, zoom zoom, zoom zoom, zoom, zoom my feet go ♪ ♪ boom, boom, boom walkin' away from you that's what i'm gonna do i got the same old shoes ♪ ♪ with a new attitude why would i sing the blues for you ♪ ♪ i said hey uh-huh you can't stop me 'cause my pain ♪ ♪ uh-huh is gasoline
12:35 am
ooh, ooh ooh, ooh ♪ ♪ i can't wait no for nobody if you break my heart ♪ ♪ it's one two three boom, boom, boom my feet go boom, boom ♪ ♪ boom, boom boom, boom boom, boom, boom my heart beats ♪ ♪ boom, boom boom, boom boom, boom boom, boom, boom ♪ ♪ high speed go zoom, zoom zoom, zoom zoom, zoom ♪ ♪ zoom, zoom, zoom my feet go boom, boom, boom walkin' away from you ♪ ♪ that's what i'm gonna do i got a new tattoo don't know what to tell you got nothin' left to prove ♪ ♪ to you ♪ i said hey uh-huh you can't stop me 'cause my pain ♪ ♪ uh-huh is gasoline ooh, ooh ooh, ooh ♪ ♪ i can't wait no for nobody if you break my heart ♪
12:36 am
♪ it's one two three boom, boom, boom hold on i'm goin', goin' ♪ ♪ goin', goin' gone 'cause a big storm is comin',comin' ♪ ♪ comin', comin' on hold on i'm goin', goin' goin', goin' ♪ ♪ gone 'cause a big storm is comin', comin' comin', comin' on ♪ ♪ comin', comin' comin', comin' comin', comin' comin', comin' ♪ ♪ boom, boom, boom my feet go boom, boom boom, boom ♪ ♪ boom, boom boom, boom, boom my heart beats boom, boom ♪ ♪ boom, boom boom, boom boom, boom, boom high speed go ♪ ♪ zoom, zoom zoom, zoom zoom, zoom zoom, zoom, zoom ♪ ♪ my feet go boom, boom, boom walkin' away from you ♪ [cheers and applause] and applause]
12:37 am
this is "nightline." tonight, leaving neverland. the shocking michael jackson documentary. >> every night that i was with him there was abuse while my mother was, you know, next door. >> decades-old, disturbing sexual abuse allegations resurfacing in a new era. the fallout after neverland. >> this moment transcends michael jackson. it is much bigger than any one person. >> now the explosive reaction from his family. plus, dr. pimple popper. giving patients a chance to love the skin they're in. >> i saw hope again. because i was so afraid of

240 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on