♪ oh, yeah [cheers and applause] this is "nightline." tonight, life after loss. abc's dr. jennifer ashe sharing her personal story of suicide hitting home. >> lead detective said we found your name on the remains of your husband. >> reporter: her journey to heal, her children's strength. >> somebody who loses their battle with depression and dies by suicide is not weak. >> and their message to others. plus, handshake politics. >> what's up? >> at home with the democratic presidential candidate, senator cory booker, kicking off his 2020 campaign. >> you fight with the best of who you are, not the worst of who you are. >> a famous new girlfriend

adding scrutiny to his life. but first the "nightline" five. numb this spring, it's out with the old and in with the awesome. as in, in with the fastest, most reliable internet from xfinity xfi. so you can be in with brilliantly connected

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jennifer ashton, opening up about her unspeakable loss after her ex-husband took his own life. her journey to healing and hermes a her message of hope to others. >> suicide has completely turned my life upside down. i lost my 18-year-old brother to suicide in 2013. >> my oldest brother died of suicide in 1996. >> i found out shane passed away by suicide four days before my wedding day. >> i lost my husband yesterday to suicide. >> when i was 9 years old, my father killed himself. >> my ex-husband, dr. rob ashton jr. died by suicide february fey 2017. i've driven over the bridge thousands of times in my life. our apartment was on the 40th floor of that big building, just

next to the george washington bridge. >> in 2017, 15 people died by suicide, by jumping off the george washington bridge. and rob was one of them. rob and i met in the operating room. just like "grey's anatomy." our first date was in greenwich village in 1995. it was italian restaurant. ♪ when the world is cold >> our wedding was really beautiful. we danced to a frank sinatra song "the way you look tonight." ♪ and the way you look tonight >> everyone liked rob. everyone. it was impossible not to like him. bewe we were together for 22 years. we raised two amazing kids. but ultimately we grew apart and decided to end our marriage, and it was a mutual decision.

>> when my parents told us that they were first seeing a counselor and then they were going to be getting a divorce, my brother and i were like okay, how different is it really going to be if dad's living across the street versus in our house. >> rob didn't have any of the classic signs of depression that we learn about in medical school. not a single one of them. we saw each other three days before he died at one of chloe's hockey games. >> yeah! woo! >> right before i went to bed i kind of took a deep breath, and i said wow, i feel so sad right now, and i have no clue why. that was a saturday. and at about morning, three detectives knocked on the door. the lead detective said we found your name on the remains of your husband. and i just started screaming,

no, no, no. i was in really bad shape for a few weeks. in every way. it wasn't until two weeks later that my brother actually said something that almost simplified the component of suicide. he said, dad died from a disease just like cancer. somebody who loses their battle with depression and dies by suicide is not weak. it's not their fault. for as long as i can remember in this process, i've wanted my mom to speak openly about it. so when kate spade died by suicide, i said mom, you have to talk about this. you have to talk about our experience. >> when it hit my family, as a doctor, i didn't know a lot about it. and the more we can deal with it the better, and the more lives will be saved. >> what i couldn't believe is that there were so many people who had been just gutted by

suicide of a loved one and that felt that they had been one of the hardest things that i had to do after rob's death was clear out our storage unit. this was a storage bin that had stuff from our house that we lived in for 11 years. that was 2006. we were so young then. and i mean, rob looks so happy there. it was in these private moments and going through the remnants of our life together that i felt really alone. i realized i needed to use my voice to try to help others who were probably going through the same thing. [ applause ] >> i hope to get as much from

the people in this room as i'm able to offer you. and i know you all know the statistics. for every one death by suicide there are at least 135 people directly affected. >> the reason i interview other suicide survivors is because i wanted to learn from them. ♪ as far as i can go >> chester bennington was known around the world for his iconic voice. ♪ one thing you should know >> he was a grammy award winner for lincoln park when he died by suicide in 2017. and everyone was shocked. for some reason people think because that person was famous or successful, how could they do this? but those things don't protect you against mental illness. since his death, his wife, talinda bennington has become an advocate fire mental health and suicide prevention. >> it's so important to me that

chester's death wasn't in vain. we have kids. they need to understand that daddy didn't go because he was selfish. daddy didn't go because he didn't love them. daddy died because he was really sick. >> the late joan rivers also became an advocate after she lost her husband to suicide in 1987. >> joan rivers. >> then she dedicated her emmy win in 1990 to his memory. >> this is really for him, because he was with me from the beginning, and i'm so sorry. >> in the years since, their daughter melissa rivers has become an advocate herself in honor of her father. >> it is so important, and i know you can relate to that, that suicide and the survival of suicide and the survival of the people who attempt and don't make it through the process, the conversation has to become bigger, bigger, bigger, less taboo. it should be openly discussed.

>> one thing i've learned on this journey, all of us whose lives have been touched by suicide were survivors. i decided to write a book called life after suicide to share my family's story of healing and those of many others that i've met along the way. i definitely wanted to include stories from certain high-risk groups and certainly veterans, lgbtq youth and young adults. >> how many people in the room are survivors? wow. >> as i talk to people from each of these groups, survivors from each of these groups, what i realized is that the people who are left alive after suicide hits their family or their friends have found a way to heal that really, really inspired me. >> my brother was my best friend. >> not a day goes by that i don't think about my brother gabriel. >> when i think of chester today, i remember him full of

life and full of love. >> when talking to someone who's lost a loved one to suicide and what we call a suicide survivor, remember, they're fine. they're normal. just be yourself. tell them you care. >> our thanks to jen. and please remember, you are not alone. the national suicide prevention lifeline is always open at 800-273-8255 for free confidential assistance from trained counselors. and next, senator cory booker seeking the highest office in the land. what he has to say about his ambitious plans and private life. but does psoriasis ever get in the way? embrace the chance of 100% clear skin with taltz... the first and only treatment of its kind offering people with moderate to severe psoriasis a chance at 100% clear skin. with taltz, up to 90% of people quickly saw

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senator cory booker, eyeing the white house, kick starting his presidential campaign for 2020, hoping to des tensiisting himself from a crowded field of democrats. his public and private life under the mike scocroscope. >> let's walk up the hill here, because i can tell you -- hey, how you doin'? >> have you heard he's running for president? >> yeah. >> god bless you. >> reporter: cory booker can't walk a block from his house without half of newark turning out to see him. >> what's up? i left my phone at home plugged in. can i text myself? >> reporter: i've been a journalist for 38 years. i've never seen a candidate for campaign give his cell phone number out to someone on the

street. >>i >> i've been giving my cell phone number out since i started. you fight with the best of who are you, not the worst of who you are. >> reporter: this style of retail politics. >> a pleasure to meet you. >> thank you very much. >> reporter: making connections, one person at a time. >> our next president. >> reporter: is what booker is betting will take him to the white house. >> come on, you got to lean in a little more. >> reporter: but in this current environment of nasty politics, can your nice-guy approach win? >> as a guy who was a chief executive of a major city, i ran a fire department, fighting fire with fire is not a good strategy for putting out fires. >> reporter: booker cut his teeth as a politician in a street fight literally. >> i'm cory booker. you ever hear my name? >> reporter: his first run for mayor of newark, chronicled in the documentary called "street fight." >> it's time that we pull together. >> reporter: he lost that race but proved his political

strength when cast as the underdog. he finally became mayor of newark in 2006, taking on a city deeply mired in poverty, crime, injustice. one of his solutions, private equity. sparking criticism he was too close to big business. >> i call out wall street, and i have, but whethern i needed to d the first hotel in 40 years and i needed partners to invest. that created jobs for a lot of people that didn't have them. >> reporter: forgive me, but newark is still a tough town. it may be better, but this is still a hard-traveled place, yes? >> yes. we've made significant progress. the best endorsement for the city in many ways is our population is growing for the first time in 60 years. i don't know if there's any place that's solved all their problems, but newark from where we were to where we are now is probably one of the most successful stories of a come back you can find in the last

decade in america. >> reporter: the department of justice found his police department will a pattern of unconstitutional policing. top brass at the water agency admitted to taking bribes, and the deputy mayor was convicted of conspiracy to commit extortion. >> i'm the first mayor in newark that wasn't indicted of something going back to the '60s if not before. >> reporter: is that a badge of honor? >> that's not a badge of honor. i introduced significant ethics legislation to tie the hands of any future administration and making sure they're doing things right. >> reporter: he seems to have a knack for attracting attention. >> you can't leave your dogs out and go away. >> reporter: and rescue the a woman from a burning building, irning h i earning him the

"superman." ellen did give him a superman suit. >> cory's overwhelming optimism might make some people question his motive. or his intents. i think he's absolutely for real, wants to get the job done and has the ability to do it. >> reporter: he played high school football with booker and says he knows his heart. >> i don't think there's any doubt cory's been inspirational to a lot of people. he inspired me, and, you know, i've always counted him as someone that i would be friendly with if i saw him on the street. >> reporter: booker grew up here in suburban new jersey. his parents, ibm executives, preached and practiced high achievement and several activism. >> when i was a baby, my parents tried to move us into a neighborhood with great public schools, but realtors wouldn't sell us a home because of the color of our skin.

>> reporter: they didn't run, they integrated the town. they learned a powerful lesson about challenging with dignity. he went on to stanford university on a football scholarship. a law degree from yale. his ivy league pedigree lending itself well to the senate to which he was elected in 2013. >> please raise your right hand. >> reporter: his key initiatives have focussed on justice reform. >> the only bipartisan legislation to pass under this president was one that i led in the united states senate along with dick durbin. >> reporter: he proposed a plan to curb violence, which would ban assault weapons, create a gun licensing program. and limit the purchase of firearms to one a month. inspired in part by his adopted neighborhood. >> right here, shahad smith was shot and killed with an assault rifle. i'm tired of walking around cities like mine where you see

shrines to dead kids, teddy bears and candles in places where the murders happened. >> reporter: despite being in the public eye for nearly half his life, the 50 year old vegan has kept his personal life private. but earlier this year, he revealed he's dating rosario dawson. >> i fieel blessed to be datinga person like that. >> reporter: should we set a "nightline" special? >> i'm not sure if this is an interview with you or my mom. but i'm excited about our future, and just deeply, deeply grateful. >> such a good guy, passionate but never married. >> definitely at an age where he i realized, you know, life is long, and having a partner makes you better. she's transforming the way i look at the world. she's making me a better person. she's challenging me to be the best me, and i'm not talking about my professional life. my personal life. >> we, will, rise!

>> reporter: for now, less renowned than the top contenders, well behind in fund raising, cory booker has played the unorthodox underdog, smiled his way to victory, again and again. p is america ready for a second black president? >> i think america is ready for a damn good president who's going to stand up for americans. >> reporter: there's only one former mayor elected to president, grover cleveland, from buffalo. and the new officer sworn in to serve and protect. it's the idea that if our mothers were diagnosed with cancer, how would we want them to be treated? that's exactly how we care for you. with answers and actions. to hear your concerns, quiet your fears, lift your spirits. that's the mother standard of care.

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and finally tonight, the newest four-legged member in blue on an important mission. arguably the cutest officer of the pittsburgh police force. 9-week-old pup,he first-everybody comfort dog, his memory to the victims of the

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