tv Nightline ABC May 29, 2019 12:37am-1:07am PDT
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this is "nightline." tonight, darkness to light. once on top of the world, former nba star lamar odom revealing for the first time a life from triumphs and tragedies. >> what was your drug of choice? >> the vices rampant during his high-profile marriage to khloe kardashian. sending him on a path of self-destruction that nearly cost him everything. plus, starting a new chapter. the near-death experience shattering his family. >> thought it was going to be my last moments with him. i couldn't believe it. >> shocking lamar to hit the restart button. the battle to stay sober now
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>> hopefully i can help some people. it's not a story just about the kardashians or drugs. it's really a story of triumph. >> reporter: for lamar odom, triumph on the court came naturally. he was a basketball virtuoso from an early age. a college phenom. >> 30 feet away, jumper in the air! he got it! >> reporter: who became one of the nba's biggest superstars. >> lamar odom. >> reporter: you could have been the best player of your generation. >> probably so. >> reporter: he seemed to have it all. a boonliming career and a hit reality show with his famous wife khloe, part of the juggernaut kardashian clan. >> reporter: during that time when you were on those reality shows, were you hiding your drug use and sex addiction from khloe. >> yeah. when you're married, you don't
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want your wife to know you're sniffing coke. >> reporter: sex, infidelity and drugs. what was your drug of choice? >> oh, cocaine. >> reporter: lamar was living a life full of dark secrets. how many women did you have sex with? >> i don't now. >> jimmy: you wrote 2,000. >> it was a lot. to put a number on it, that would be really narcissistic. >> reporter: how long do you think you were able to be faithful? >> maybe months at a time. my marriage i was faithful for the first couple of years. >> reporter: it was a reckless path of self-destruction that nearly cost him everything. >> lamar odom is rushed to the hospital. >> on life support. >> reporter: the kardashians rushed to be at his bedside. he was knocking on death's door. you had 12 seizures, six strokes. can you fathom what you've been through? >> no, i really can't. my doctors say i'm a walking
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miracle. >> reporter: is your body affected by your coma. >> yeah. >> reporter: your body's been through a lot. >> i've played professional basketball since then. >> reporter: when was the last time you did cocaine? >> i can't even remember. i can't even remember. it's been a long time. >> reporter: so you're not high now. >> no, did i sniff cocaine before this interview? no. there's no more coke in my system. >> reporter: how do i know you're telling the truth now? >> you will a you can do is believe me. if you don't, there's nothing i can do. >> reporter: you do still smoke weed. >> yeah. >> reporter: when was the last time you smoked weed? >> yesterday. >> reporter: now for the first time, lamar odom is sharing raw, intimate details about his triumphs and tragedies. >> you called the book from darkness to light. what does that mean? >> my grandmother always said what you do in the dark comes out in the light. it's dear to me. >> reporter: to understand lamar odom you need to go back to his childhood in queens, new york.
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his mother, kathy mercer was his guiding light. >> unconditional love. >> reporter: his father joseph was a heroin addict. >> you wrote i didn't know it at the time he was following me a blueprint to follow and the things i hated him for i would become. >> yeah. >> reporter: eventually, his mother left his father, she and a young lamar moved into his grandmother's house where they shared the same room. are those some of your fondest memories? >> yeah, waking up in the morning, smelling her breath. >> sweet. >> reporter: when he was just 12 years old, that bright light dimmed. he remembers holding her hand as she lay dying of colon cancer. >> that was real hurtful. >> reporter: what happened to your heart that day? >> well, it got heavy. that's when i just kind of said like [ bleep ], really. it was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. >> reporter: despite his poor grades and dabbling in marijuana
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he became one of the most celebrated basketball players in the country. you are a hot commodity, as you say, women are throwing themselves as at you already. and yet you stick with your homeroom, high school sweetheart. what did she represent to you? >> queens, my neighborhood high school. even though the time apart, you know, i always felt connected to her. >> reporter: by the time he was 18, that girlfriend, liza, got pregnant. and destiny's born. >> yeah. are. >> reporter: lamar jr.'s born. >> yeah. time to be a man. >> reporter: what does that mean to you? >> giving back, being accountable. >> reporter: he became a college hero for the university of rhode island, taking his school to the ncaa tournament with this buzzer beater. >> 30 feet away, jumper, he got it! lamar odom has won it for rhode island. >> i can't even compare it to anything. i was on top of the world that day. >> reporter: his dreams of reaching the nba well within
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reach. lamar odom, from the university of rhode island. >> looking forward to being an l.a. clipper. it's going to be a great year. can't wait to get to l.a. and start working out. >> i felt like i arrived. i just wish i had that moment with my mother. >> reporter: because on the outside you're on top of the world. >> and inside i'm hurt little boy still. >> reporter: but his memory blurred in a life of drugs and sex, thanks to a $63 million contract with the miami heat. he describes his first exposure to cocaine at the exclusive club in miami, he described having oral sex with a stranger. what did the drugs and sex do you to? >> i mean i want everything extreme. in extreme of course is too much.
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>> reporter: lamar's drug use, a major hurdle between him and another pinnacle, the 2004 athens olympics. he already had two drug suspensions in the nba and had been smoking marijuana, qualifying for the olympics required a monitored urine sample. lamar's solution? a prosthetic penis. >> me and my friend bought it, paid in it. >> reporter: clean urine. >> yeah. >> reporter: he was traded to the lakers, and liza got pregnant with their third child, jaden. but six months later, jaden was found dead in his crib from sudden infant death syndrome. >> when he passed i couldn't leave the hospital. i stayed there about three hours and sat with him. >> reporter: what was your reaction when your son died? >> oh, shock. crazy. because i don't even think i still cried about that. >> reporter: he keeps his son's image close to his heart. what made you want to do a
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tattoo? >> something i can't forget. >> reporter: yeah. and literally you look in his face every day. >> yeah. >> reporter: still reeling from the loss of his son he eventually met the woman who changed his life forever. >> khloe. >> reporter: you end up in a hotel room. >> mm-hm. >> reporter: and she refuses to have sex with you. >> yeah, that's a true story. >> reporter: and you talk for five hours. probably one of the first women who said no, i'm not going to have sex with you. >> it's crazy. khloe has the same eyes as my mother. when i first met her, i was kind of put in a transby that. i didn't really know who that was. >> reporter: they got engaged within a month of dating. nine days later think were married. more than 3 million people tuned in to watch their wedding on "keeping up with the kardashians". >> you are husband and wife. >> reporter: tell me what it was like being on camera, keeping up with the kardashians, paparazzi
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everywhere. >> i mean, i loved it. >> reporter: you did? >> yeah. the red carpet is rolled out for you everywhere you go. what's not to love about that? >> reporter: but lamar says he wasn't faithful to khloe, he would often pay strippers for sex. why is that? >> kind of like paying for privacy. >> reporter: khloe and her family declined to comment. during their marriage, he says his drug use became rampant. the book also describes an incident where you're in your man cave, and you basically have a freak out. you were on ecstasy and coke. i was sure that people were coming for me. you were paranoid. i took a golf club and swung away. i began smashing the walls to find them. i was going to expletive find you i scream. khloe walks in, and you say to her, i'll expletive kill you. you don't know what i'm capable of. >> yeah, i'm pretty sure she had to be scared. i'm thinking about it now, like
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i couldn't believe how i was treating that queen like that. >> reporter: do you feel like you owe her an apology? >> yeah, her and her family. >> reporter: khloe filed for divorce after six years of marriage. she at that point kicked you to the curb. >> yeah, she took care of me, in my house i had everything i wanted or needed. so it was like a kid being kicked out of his house. >> reporter: a 12 year old losing his mother to cancer. >> again. yeah. >> reporter: a heartbroken lamar was struggling to regain his nba glory, lamar hided to the love rank, a brothel near los angeles. you just wanted to escape. >> yeah. >> reporter: he says he spent a long weekend there but just slept for most of it. on the fourth day he was found unconscious in his room. >> blood coming out his nose. white stuff coming out of his mouth. >> reporter: by all rights, you took lethal doses of whatever substance it was. >> i didn't take drugs that night, that day. >> reporter: you don't have any memory of taking drugs.
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>> i didn't. >> reporter: you don't have much memory of any of it. >> i didn't sniff cocaine that day or do anything else. >> reporter: how could it be that you didn't do drugs that night? >> somebody may have slipped me something. >> reporter: you were drinks. >> i was drinks. >> reporter: conscious of that. >> but i know i didn't do drugs. >> reporter: he was rushed to sunrise hospital in a coma, 12 seize usua seizures and six strokes, his kidneys ruptured. you write maybe i wanted that, but it wasn't important. do you think sub consciously you wanted to end it all, to kill yourself? >> no. hell no. >> reporter: hell no. >> i understand you cross that line there's no coming back. at the end of a long day, it's the last thing i want to do. well i switched to swiffer wet jet and its awesome. it's an all-in-one so it's ready to go when i am. the cleaning solution actually breaks down dirt and grime.
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"nightline," lamar odom, the interview, continues. >> to get to a hospital and hear that someone has four hours to live and there's nothing you can really do. >> reporter: it was the fall of 2015, and lamar odom's estranged wife, khloe kardashian flew to his side as he lay on the precipice of death. >> it's horrible. >> reporter: khloe had taken control of all of lamar's medical decisions. lets me know i did something right. >> reporter: even kim kardashian, who was seven months pregnant was sleeping in your room. >> yeah, that shows you the strength of their family. >> reporter: lamar's two children and liza rushed to the hospital. his daughter destiny tells us they were prepared to say
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good-bye. how did you get the news of the incident? >> i think we found out from tmz actually, a family friend called us and was like, are you okay? like heard lamar's on life support. and we're like, what? >> reporter: how does that hit you, though, to hear that that's how she heard and that's how she came? >> that's [ bleep ]. i mean, that's [ bleep ] that she had to find out like that. >> reporter: what was it like seeing your father in that hospital room? >> pretty traumatic. thought it was going to be my last moments with him. i just told him that i need him to be here, to be present with me. and just to fight. >> reporter: he said sometime after hearing their voices he opened his eyes. >> they told me when i woke up, i was pulling the tubes out of my throat, and i get up and i can't walk, can't talk. >> reporter: you have to staurt all over again. >> [ bleep ] myself like a baby. >> there was a moment when lamar
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couldn't really express himself and couldn't really talk but he could hear what we were saying to him. and kanye thought we can cure him through music. we can get him to talk. he would go to the hospital and rap and sing, and i think lamar started to get his function back and started to talk once he started to listen to a lot of music. >> you're doing so well! good job! >> reporter: what was it like watching him fight back? >> it was amazing. scary at first. but at least he was still alive. still fighting. that's all that matters. >> reporter: and even though you went through all that, it still took a while to convince you to go into rehab. what made you finally decide, okay. >> my daughter. >> reporter: do you remember what you said? >> i basically told him if he didn't go to rehab i wouldn't talk to him anymore. it was tough for the both of us. >> for the both of us. it was much needed. i'm glad it happened. i'm glad she pulled up the courage to tell her old man
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that. >> reporter: he spent 30 days in rehab at that casa palmera. >> it depends on what they do after rehab. >> reporter: because tmz had video of you collapsing in a nightclub. >> it was hot. >> reporter: you hadn't relapsed? >> no. when you're in the public eye, and you have an incident [ bleep ] is easy to believe. >> reporter: so you don't do drugs, but you drink still? >> i still have a defrbeverage,n though that's not my drug of choice. >> reporter: and strip clubs? >> i enjoy a strip club. >> reporter: and yet you're a sex addict. >> yeah. >> reporter: i'm just pointing that out. >> mm-hm. >> reporter: mm-hm. are you still in love with khloe? >> i mean you get married to someone after 30 days, i don't think that ever, you know what
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i'm saying, leave, but i try to be rational. >> reporter: that's a yes, isn't it? >> i just try to be rational. >> reporter: do you stay in touch? >> i've spoken to her. not too long ago. >> reporter: as for khloe, she recently addressed her relationship with lamar on the podcast "divorce sucks". >> every now and then there's no like issues. >> bad blood. >> there's no bad blood. it just didn't work out. and i think he's an incredible person. and i just want the best for him. but there's no negative anything. >> reporter: but, as lamar continues his recovery, it's another woman paving the way. >> i would say every day is a step at a time. just keep fighting. like he did in the hospital. every day is a new struggle, new chapter. >> reporter: do you forgive him? >> yeah. you have to. in order to move on, just for yourself. you have to forgive. >> reporter: have you forgiven
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yourself? really and truly? or do you still piece yourself up? >> i think i still beat myself up. >> reporter: if somebody came to you with a reality show, would you do it? >> in a heartbeat. >> reporter: you would. there is a lot about being in the limelight, right? >> i don't think i can escape the limelight. be right back. with moderate to severe crohn's disease, i was there, just not always where i needed to be. is she alright? i hope so. so i talked to my doctor about humira. i learned humira is for people who still have symptoms of crohn's disease after trying other medications. and the majority of people on humira saw significant symptom relief and many achieved remission in as little as 4 weeks. humira can lower your ability to fight infections, including tuberculosis. serious, sometimes fatal infections and cancers, including lymphoma, have happened; as have blood, liver, and nervous system problems, serious allergic reactions,
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call 1-800-call-att. a final note on fighting addiction. if you're thinking of seeking treatment for yourself or a loved one, remember you're not alone. according to the national survey on drug use and health, 19.7 million americans ages 12 and older battle a substance use disorder in 2017. it was lebeseriter o sai t suf. and that's "nightline." our full episodes are streaming on hulu. thanks for the company, america, goodnight.
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